Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
Enquiries & Support
Ph: 08-8351 0344 (message bank)
Email Enquiries [email protected]
We are on the Internet www.compassionatefriendssa.org.au
Newsletter Contributions
to PO Box 26 Kent Town SA 5071 Or email [email protected]
Editors: Baden & Heather Jacob
Closing Dates For Contributions) 21 May (Jun/Jul/Aug) 21Aug (Sep/Oct/Nov) TCF SA welcomes
a wide range of contributions from members.
about all aspects of life after bereavement, together with stories of our beloved children.
The articles and poems in this newsletter are views
held by the individual contributors. Our aim is to provide
choice of information about bereavement, and
life after bereavement. Photos for memorial pages copied & returned with care
President Tony Hurren Treasurer Baden Jacob Secretary
Jose Koppelman-Guthrie Committee Heather Jacob Marion Murphy Pat Ross
Rosa Cantattore
Facilitators Rosa Cantatore (Modbury)
Baden & Heather (Kensington)
Mail to TCFSA Secretary PO Box 26 Kent Town SA 5071
The Compassionate Friends (S.A.) Inc. Offering friendship & support Issue 121 between bereaved parents & siblings Mar. Apr, May 2012
TCF SA Mission Statement The Compassionate Friends is a non-denominational, mutual self-help organization offering friendship & understanding to bereaved parents & siblings. The primary purpose is to assist each other during the grief experienced upon the death of a child, & to support our efforts to achieve physical & emotional health. The secondary purpose is to provide information & education about bereaved parents & siblings. The objective is to help those in the community including family, friends, co-workers & professionals to offer appropriate support. We have no religious affiliation.
Something I wanted to share .. by Heather Jacob
After the loss of a child it is always difficult to find and feel a purpose in life
Energy levels are so low it is often just enough to breathe and get through the day
This passage below is something I would read every day to help me get through
the day,
It brought up emotions from deep inside and eventually helped me somehow
??????
BELIEVE
Believe that life is more than just work…
Believe you have the power to choose to do what you love,
and only what you love...
Believe that you do not have to compromise...
Believe life is more extraordinary than simply finding balance…
Believe that life is meant to be shared in joy, in humility, in love and
in grief …
Believe our world can live in cooperation, co-creation &
collaboration…
Believe that you can experience happiness full-time, not just
sometimes…
Believe that the stars in the sky are there to remind you
of the vastness of your power…
Believe that there is nothing too great,
or too small that the heart of the world can’t transform with “LOVE”
believe that there is nothing more important in this life than being
love, being truth, being free…
believe it’s the time for humanity to break out of the prison of the
mind…
BELIEVE IN LOVE !!!!
Author unknown
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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STRENGTH FOR THE FUTURE
“What is life’s heaviest burden? “
a youth asked.
“ To have nothing to carry – because it atrophies all your strength”
was the reply.
The past is for WISDOM
The present for ACTION
The future for JOY
“Author unknown”
Two men looked out of the prison bars
The one saw mud .. the other saw the stars !!
“Frederick Langbridge”
The way to love anything
Is to realize that it might be lost
“G.K. Chesterton”
He spake well who said that graves are the footprints of angels. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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“HOPE”
A person can live several weeks without food and days without water, but nev-
er without hope.
Because people had hope in their hearts, no drought, flood, earthquake or
bad season could stop them returning to their homes, farmsteads and fields…
to rebuild and replant .
In this search for a new source of natural rubber in plant matter, Thomas Edi-
son made numerous experiments. But each in turn proved unsuccessful.
After his 50,000th failure a discouraged assistant said to him, “Mr Edison, we
have had no results”.
“Results!” exclaimed the great inventor with enthusiasm, “we have wonderful
results. We now know 50,000 things which don’t work.. let’s get on with the
next experiment !”
Conflicts would have ended in catastrophe without the hope of state leaders
who against all odds, preserved to pursue peace.
Patients in intensive care could never go on fighting for life if they did not
have hope ! It keeps them going.
Hope brings religious people to their churches, synagogues, mosques and
temples in search of God’s help. Without hope women and men are doomed
to despair, frustration and defeat.
There is plenty of reason for hope, if you will only look for it
Sorrow is the toothache in the heart.
Written by Heinich Heine.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your
delight. - Kahlil Gibran
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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Anniversaries
The name of your Child/ren has been published here from the list of current members. If you
would prefer this not to appear please let us know and we will respect your wishes.
Families are welcome to submit up to 30 words about their child on this Anniversary page.
Some families also write & enclose a good quality photo for a memorial page to their child.
Forever Loved Forever Young
Forever Remembered
March
James Pisoni Son of Pat & Carlo, Brother to Simon, David, Timothy
& Nicholas (Deceased) 03 Mar 2010
Paul Munro Johnson Son of Rob & Jenni, Brother to Naomi & Heath 06 Mar 2010
Jodi Pettit Daughter of Catherine & Tony, Sister to Annwen & Bryn 08 Mar 1985
Matthew Flood Son of Jenny & David, Brother to Tom, Sam & Johanna 09 Mar 1990
Chantel Joy
Griffiths-Schmidt Daughter of Martin Schmidt , Sister to Mykia-Rose 13 Mar 1998
Chantel Joy
Griffiths-Schmidt Daughter of Sharon Griffiths , Sister to Mykia-Rose 13 Mar 1998
Bradley Marsland Son of Jenny & Peter, Brother to Adam & Kelly 19 Mar 2009
Stephen ADLER Son of Marion Murphy, Brother to Suzanne 25 Mar 2000
Michael Doukas Son of Zora & Peter, Brother to Angelika 27 Mar 2011
Darren Gowland Son of Coralie 28 Mar 2011
Daniel MARTIN Son of Lisa & John Condo (Father Mark Martin), Brother to
Timothy & Kieran Martin, Dylan & Taylor Condo 29 Mar 2011
April
Renee Guthrie Daughter of Jose, Sister to Sean 01 Apr 1999
Craig Steele Son of Rhonda & Kenneth, Brother to Matthew 01 Apr 2002
Quinten John Coffey Son of Denise & Brian, Brother to Joshua & wife Emma 11 Apr 2003
Anouska Crookall Daughter of Ljubinka & Rob, Sister to Sacha 13 Apr 2007
Jarrad Hashim Son of Gillain & Ron, Brother to Marissa 16 Apr 2002
Gene Arthur Coffey Son of Denise & Brian, Brother to Joshua & wife Emma 27 Apr 1976
Matthew Atkinson Son of Helen, Brother to Shaun 30 Apr 1994
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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May
Matthew John Keeley Son of Trevor & Jane, Brother to Daniel & Sara 09 May 2006
Hayley Victoria Claridge Daughter of Janet 15 May 2009
Mark Baden Jacob Son of Baden & Heather, Brother to Tara 20 May 1999
Jack Klemich Son of Oren & Gill, Brother to Georgie & Sofie 25 May 2009
Kirsty Rea Daughter of Judi & Will, Sister to Tricia 29 May 1992
Anniversaries
Forever Loved Forever Young
Forever Remembered
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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Mourning in MarriagesMourning in MarriagesMourning in MarriagesMourning in Marriages
This grief Theodore realised, was one of the few separating things in their life together. He couldn’t help
Suzannah here, he couldn’t reach her. This particular part of her had died. If she had wept and grieved,
he could have comforted her: the ground would have bloomed again. But it was a sealed over area no one
could reach, where nothing would ever grow.
He learned then about the isolation of grief, even for those in the SAME grief. GRIEF can’t be shared.
Every one carries it alone, his/her own burden, hi/her own way.
By Anne Morrow Lindbergh, “Dearly Beloved”
MYTHSMYTHSMYTHSMYTHS An extract from when the bough breaks,
written by Judith R, Bernstein. Ph.D.
You know 70% of marriages break up after the death of a child, one mother said with an air of resignation.
I’ve heard so many newly bereaved parents quote that prophesy of doom and express fear that the tragedy
of the loss of their child will be completely compounded by the demise of their marriage.
The myth permeates the popular literature , winds through the mass media, and gets passed around by
word of mouth. I don’t know where these numbers originated, but they are repeated with a great deal of
regularity and a great deal of assurance. I nodded my head in agreement, having heard the numbers quot-
ed so authoritatively so often that I believed them too .
When this study was completed and we found a low level of divorce and separation among the parents we
interviewed. I set about asking myself how this group of parents differed from the “ norm”, the norm being
all those bereaved parents who wound up divorced. Perhaps this group of volunteer interviewees was more
stable, more intact, healthier than the general population.
That made sense. Yes that was it!!! This group was at the high end of the mental health spectrum
Myths Continued …
I was so caught up in the 70% myth that I felt I had to justify why this group did not confirm to it.
It finally dawned on me that perhaps the myth may be a particularly compelling fiction.
What the study found!!!
The compassionate Friends (TCF) members who volunteered to be interviewed are not representative of
all bereaved parents. People who attend TCF are likely to be particularly outgoing, to live near urban
centres , and so forth.
People who elect to participate in scientific studies are different from other people who choose not to par-
ticipate. They may , for example, be more willing to examine their innermost feelings and more willing to
reveal those feelings to a stranger.
They may be more inherently biased or altruistic.
These differences make the studies inherently biased and the numbers suspect .
Numbers present only a slanted picture of what actually goes on.
How would you count the couples who divorced after the death of their child only to remarry several years
later. ???
All manner of variations on the theme take place with no way to account for the variations in a numerical
way.
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.- Thomas Campbell
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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12 Things Happy People Do Differently
Through the grieving process after the loss of a child it is difficult to feel happiness !!! These are some things to think about ..
Maybe we all have to learn how to become happy again ???? Here are some points that may help ????
Studies conducted by positivity psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky point to 12 things happy
people do differently to increase their levels of happiness.
These are things that we can start doing today to feel the effects of more happiness in
our lives.
(Check out her book The How of Happiness.)
1. Express gratitude. – When you appreciate what you have, what you
have appreciates in value. Kinda cool right? So basically, being grateful for
the goodness that is already evident in your life will bring you a deeper
sense of happiness. And that’s without having to go out and buy anything.
It makes sense. We’re gonna have a hard time ever being happy if we aren’t
thankful for what we already have.
2. Cultivate optimism. – Winners have the ability to manufacture
their own optimism. No matter what the situation, the successful diva is the
chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it. She knows
failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life. Peo-
ple who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless op-
portunities, especially in trying times.
3. Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. – Comparing your-
self to someone else can be poisonous. If we’re somehow ‘better’ than the
person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense
of superiority. Our ego inflates – KABOOM – our inner Kanye West comes
out! If we’re ‘worse’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we
usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress
that we’ve made. What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type
of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place. If you feel called to
compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of
yourself.
Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.- Ros-
siter Worthington Raymond
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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12 Things Happy People Do Differently [Continued]
4. Practice acts of kindness. – Performing an act of kindness releases
serotonin in your brain. (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS
health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.) Selflessly helping
someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside. What’s even cooler
about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people
watching the act of kindness. How extraordinary is that? Bystanders will be
blessed with a release of serotonin just by watching what’s going on. A side
note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin.
Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.
5. Nurture social relationships. – The happiest people on the planet
are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships. Did you know studies
show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely?
WHOA! There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle
of good friends who you can share your experiences with. We feel connected
and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.
6. Develop strategies for coping. – How you respond to the
‘craptastic’ moments is what shapes your character. Sometimes crap hap-
pens – it’s inevitable. Forrest Gump knows the deal. It can be hard to come
up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up
toward the fan. It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed,
on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.
7. Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your
well-being. You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and
present emotion. When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously think-
ing about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune sys-
tem. You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays
with you throughout your day.
8. Increase flow experiences. – Flow is a state in which it feels like
time stands still. It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you
become one with the task. Action and awareness are merged. You’re not
hungry, sleepy, or emotional. You’re just completely engaged in the activity
that you’re doing. Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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12 Things Happy People Do Differently
[Continued]
9. Savor life’s joys. – Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down
to enjoy the joy. It’s easy in a world of wild stimuli and omnipresent move-
ment to forget to embrace life’s enjoyable experiences. When we neglect to ap-
preciate, we rob the moment of its magic. It’s the simple things in life that can
be the most rewarding if we remember to fully experience them.
10. Commit to your goals. – Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing
something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force. Magical things start
happening when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get some-
where. When you’re fully committed to doing something, you have no choice
but to do that thing. Counter-intuitively, having no option – where you can’t
change your mind – subconsciously makes humans happier because they
know part of their purpose.
11. Practice spirituality. – When we practice spirituality or religion, we
recognize that life is bigger than us. We surrender the silly idea that we are
the mightiest thing ever. It enables us to connect to the source of all creation
and embrace a connectedness with everything that exists. Some of the most
accomplished people I know feel that they’re here doing work they’re “called to
do.”
12. Take care of your body. – Taking care of your body is crucial to being
the happiest person you can be. If you don’t have your physical energy in good
shape, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your
feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affect-
ed. Did you know that studies conducted on people who were clinically de-
pressed showed that consistent exercise raises happiness levels just as much
as Zoloft? Not only that, but here’s the double whammy… Six months later,
the people who participated in exercise were less likely to relapse because they
had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.
Have a happy day!
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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THE MOURNER’S CODE
Ten SelfTen SelfTen SelfTen Self----Compassionate PrinciplesCompassionate PrinciplesCompassionate PrinciplesCompassionate Principles
Though you should reach out to others as you journey through grief, you should net feel
obligated to accept unhelpful responses you may receive from some people. You are the
one grieving, and as such, you have certain “rights” no one should try to take away from
you.
The following list is intended both to empower you to heal and to decide how others can
and cannot help. This is not to discourage you from reaching out to others for help, but
rather to assist you in distinguishing useful responses from hurtful ones.
1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
No one else will grieve exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for
help, don’t allow them to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to
talk as much as you want, as often as you want, about your grief. If at times you don’t feel
like talking, you also have the right to be silent.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the emotions you
might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeing angry, for
example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgemental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners
who will accept your feelings without condition.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect
what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t
allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.
5. You have the right to experience “griefbursts”.
Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can
be frightening, but is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you
talk it out.
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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THE MOURNER’S CODE
Ten SelfTen SelfTen SelfTen Self----Compassionate Principles [Continued]Compassionate Principles [Continued]Compassionate Principles [Continued]Compassionate Principles [Continued]
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone loved. It helps
provide you with the support of caring people. More importantly, the funeral is a way for
you to mourn. If others tell you the funeral or other healing rituals such as these are silly or
unnecessary, don’t listen!
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
If faith is part of your life, express it in ways that feel appropriate to you. Allow your-
self to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry
at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be critical of your feelings of hurt and aban-
donment.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
You may find yourself asking, “Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now?”
Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd
responses some people may give you. Comments like, “It was God’s will” or “Think of what
you still have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
Memories are one of the legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will
always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share
them.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process not an
event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intoler-
ant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that death of someone loved
changes your life forever.
[Extract from “Healing Your Grieving Heart” by Alan D. Wolfelt. PH.D recipient of ‘The
Assoc. of Death Education and Counselling” - Death Educator award.]
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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One often calms one's grief by recounting it.- Pierre Corneille
Chapter Meetings
VERY IMPORTANT:
Please call our message bank number below to advise that you WILL be at-tending a group 24 hours prior. Our facilitators travel long distances and need
to know that there will be someone attending the friendship group. Ph : 8351 0344 (Message Bank)
PLEASE NOTE: THERE ARE NO MEETINGS IN JANUARY PLEASE NOTE: THERE ARE NO MEETINGS IN JANUARY PLEASE NOTE: THERE ARE NO MEETINGS IN JANUARY PLEASE NOTE: THERE ARE NO MEETINGS IN JANUARY
Adelaide Chapter 7.30pm 1st Wednesday of each month
St Matthew’s Hall 146 Kensington Road, Marryatville
Library available
Modbury Chapter 7.30pm 2nd Tuesday of each month
St Mark’s Anglican Church Hall
Cnr Golden Way & Wynn Vale Dr, Wynn Vale
Library available
Committee Meetings 7.30pm 3rd Monday of each month
St Matthew’s Hall 146 Kensington Road, Marryatville.
Minutes can be posted to members on request
FROM YOUR PRESIDENT
Dear Members, Welcome to our first edition for 2012 and I do hope that you were all able to manage through the difficult and challenging Christmas and New Year period and that you were able to find some peace and healing.
I can report that our dedicated committee have had some successful fund raising events which ensures that our operating costs will be covered for at least the rest of this year , which is good news indeed. In this issue we have focussed on helpful advice from grief professionals which are on pages 6 through to 11 and our hope is that you will find their advice useful on your grief journey. Finally a reminder of our next social lunch on Sunday March the 25th. The details are on page 17. The very best of wishes and regards, Tony Hurren PRESIDENT
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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SUPPORT GROUP NEWS SUPPORT GROUP NEWS SUPPORT GROUP NEWS SUPPORT GROUP NEWS
We hold a support group on the first Wednesday of each month of the year except for January .
Time ……… 7.30 p.m.
Where………. St Matt’s church
Kensington ROAD KENSINGTON
It is an informal and friendly evening where people can come along and
be with like minded people and chat freely, share feelings and discuss ways of rebuilding a new life without our beautiful children ..
7.30 p.m. – approx. 9.00 p.m.
Heather & Baden Jacob x
The angels are always near to those who are grieving , to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand
of God. - Eileen Elias Freeman
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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When he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars And he will make the face of heav'n so fine-
William Shakespeare
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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"Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are."
- Author Unknown
"Perhaps they are not stars, but openings in the Heaven Where the love
of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know
they are happy." -
Author Unknown
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. - From a headstone in
Ireland
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. - Robert Ingersoll
!! REMINDER !!
Another Important Date for your Calendar!
SOCIAL LUNCH
WHEN … Sunday March 25TH
WHERE… Walkers Arms Hotel
36 North East Road, WALKERVILLE
TIME .. 12 noon
Join us for a social lunch … Friendly and casual
Please RSVP before MARCH 19TH
PHONE ...…. 83510344 and leave a message
OR:
BADEN …….. [email protected] HEATHER … [email protected]
Hope to see you there.Hope to see you there.Hope to see you there.Hope to see you there.
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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What would you like to see
more of
in your newsletter? Some suggestions on how you can help by
sharing with other parents and siblings.
Memorial pages Quotes
One-liners Poems Reviews Letters
Thoughts Photos Stories
Strategies Anniversary wishes
To give us feedback contact
Baden & Heather
Email: [email protected]
Ph: 08 82767717
It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of
knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.-
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Do You Want Your Copy of The Newsletter Sent To
You IN COLOUR Via Email?
You are welcome to receive a copy of each Newsletter as a PDF file.
Should you wish to do so, and view it in colour, then call
Baden & Heather 82767717
Unwanted Mail
A “Do not mail, Do not call” service is offered by ADMA (the Australian Direct Marketing Association) for those receiving unwanted mail/calls after someone’s death. To have a name taken off the list of more than 500
companies, either go to www.adma.com.au
“Do not mail, Do not call register, or write to
ADMA, Reply paid 464, Kings Cross NSW 1340
Include the full name, address and phone number of people to be put on the register. It may reduce any let-ters, home phone, mobile phone, SMS text messages,
and emails being generated by marketing lists.
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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Every mortal loss is an immortal gain.- William Blake
Some Internet Grief Resources
www.centerforloss.com—Alan Wolfelt’s Center
for Loss and Life Transition, Fort Collins, USA
www.dougy.org –National center for grieving chil-
dren and families, a non-profit online resource.
www.grieflossrecovery.com -Professional, well
designed site. Offers reflections on grief and loss
through poems, articles, a newsletter, memoirs, me-
morials, links, and on-line grief support.
www.hugstraining.com -Develops and facilitates
specialized programs that teach children and adults
how to reinvest in life and living following a life-
altering event such as the death of a loved one, di-
vorce, violence, neglect or disability.
www.silentgrief.com -A message of hope for the
grieving heart of those who have suffered miscar-
riage and later child loss. Professional articles, user
submissions (stories and poems) and chat boards
are available.
www.gottrouble.com -Delivers real world solu-
tions to people facing serious legal and financial
trouble through immediate access to vital infor-
mation and resources.
www.childrensgrief.net -Linda Goldman's books
and seminars give a fresh and hopeful view of to-
day's kids and of how we, as caregivers can work
together as a "village grief team" in a new para-
digm.
www.griefloss.org -The Center for Grief is a non-
profit organization dedicated to offering help and
hope for the difficult times in our lives through
therapy, counseling and education in the areas of
complicated grief, trauma, general bereavement and
loss.
www.aarp.org/griefandloss/ -A collection of re-
sources and a community of care sponsored by the
AARP offering education, on-line sharing and a toll
-free Grief Support line.
www.caregivertips.blogspot.com.au -Material for the
support of the caregivers.
www.adultsiblinggrief.com -This site is ded-
icated to the formation of a support communi-
ty for those who have suffered the devastating
loss of an adult sibling.
www.webhealing.com -This page is meant to
be a place men and women can discuss or
simply browse to understand and honor the
many different paths to heal strong emotions.
Tom Golden LCSW of Washington D.C. is
an internationally known psychotherapist,
author, and speaker on the topic of healing
from loss.
www.hospicenet.org -An invaluable resource
offering information that covers all aspects of
hospice care; from selecting a hospice to be-
ing a patient and what you need to know.
Hospice Net is an independent, nonprofit 501
(c) (3) organization working exclusively
through the Internet.
www.griefwatch.com -As part of its mission
to the bereaved, Grief Watch and its compan-
ion program, Perinatal Loss, publish books,
videotapes, audiotapes and other helpful re-
sources in an effort to offer spiritual, emo-
tional and other support to persons who have
suffered loss.
www.sharegrief.com -On-line grief counsel-
ing by skilled professionals.
www.bereavementmag.com
www.nationalallianceforgrievingchildren.o
rg
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121 The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
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*************************************
“Start with yourself and let your love grow outward in ever ex-
panding circles”
****************************************************************************************************************************
“No matter where you are or what your circumstances, it is al-
ways possible to experience boundless love..”
************************************************************************************************************************
“Spend time alone and dis-cover your most
constant and cherished com-panion” ....
************************************************************************************************************************
Resources Grieflink (well recommended)
National Association for Loss and Grief
www.grieflink.asn.au
TCF New South Wales
www.thecompassionatefriends.org.au
TCF Queensland
www.compassionatefriendsqld.org.au
TCF Western Australia
www.compassionatefriendswa.org.au
TCF Mandurah
www.tcfmandurah.bravehost.com
TCF Victoria
www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au
TCF UK
www.tcf.org.uk
TCF USA
www.compassionatefriends.org
Bereaved Parents USA
www.bereavedparentsusa.org
AliveAlone
Parents with no surviving children
www.alivealone.org
Rural Resources
Adelaide Hills Bereavement Service
Ph 08-8393 1888
Southern Fleurieu Bereavement Support
Ph 08-8552 0600
Please contact us with details
Mar, Apr, May 2012 : Issue 121, The Compassionate Friends, South Aust
21
Membership The first 3 issues of our newsletter are complimentary. After that, a membership subscription is due on
30 June each year.
Send $30.00 to The Treasurer, TCF SA, PO Box 26 Kent Town, SA 5071.
Cheques made payable to TCF (SA) Inc.
or phone us on 08 83510344 for direct credit details.
The information you provide is used with your permission to send out the newsletter and anniversary cards,
and to remember your child on our anniversary page. Should your details appear incorrectly in the future, we would appreciate your contacting us.
If you would prefer not to be contacted in this way, please let us know & we will respect your wishes.
We also mail out to members details of memorial and social events,
and invitations from time to time on educating the community about life after losing our beloved children.
About your child
Name ___________________________Date of Birth _____________Date of Death__________________
Manner of death (This information is kept confidential and is for our records only)
______________________________________________________________________________________
About your family (as you would like it to appear in the newsletter)
Parent/s Name/s________________________________________________________________________
Sibling/s Name/s _______________________________________________________________________
Your Private Details
Address_______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________
Email_________________________________ _______Telephone________________________________
Signature__________________________________________________
Membership Subscription Your membership subscriptions are used to produce the newsletter, to subsidise social, support & memorial functions throughout the year,
to maintain our libraries, for anniversary cards to all our families, to subsidise a memorial notice for our children in The Advertiser on International Children’s Memorial Day,