This program was designed with excerpts from
presentations by the following :• Sue Wesner, RN, MSN, CS
Service for teens at RiskWestern Psychiatric Institute and Clinic
• Mrs. Debra McDermott• The Grieving Process-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross• The Healing Process-William Worden (1982)
Grief from LossThere are various things that occur where we
experience grief associated with some kind of loss.
1 Brainstorm different examples from the movie
2 discuss-age related for death, divorce, disease, other losses (moving, college choice, sports, roles in play, musical, honors band, chorus, etc
THE HEALING PROCESSWilliam Worden (1982)
Is different for everyone -based on perception of the
situation (closeness) and you
William Worden (1982)
• 1. Accept the reality of the loss
– This is the coulda, woulda, shoulda phase – Yes - it did happen
May be different for everyone and completion of this step in healing may also vary in length
DENYING REALITY
• William Worden 1982
Denial is often the first reaction (review -our mental/emotional defense mechanisms
Sometimes affected by How they died or How our loss occurred.
DENYING REALITY
Examples of Denial:
“This can’t be happening”
Refusal to believe the loss has occurred.
????
Acts as a “buffer” to give you a chance to process the loss
BARGAINING FOR CHANGE OF REALITY
Bargaining
•“I’d do anything to have them back”.
•If I do this ______, then this ______
•Making promises to change if the loss is returned to them.
•The final attempt to avoid the TRUTH.
Accepting Reality
Acceptance
This doesn’t mean you have to be okay with the loss, just that you know it is reality and you are ready to heal from it.
William Worden (1982)
• 2. Experience the PAIN of the loss
People tend to suppress (defense mechanism) grief because it’s painful and not always “convenient”
May be different for everyone and, again, completion of this step in the healing process may also vary in length
How might this experience affect us?
Experiencing Grief/Loss-ANGER
Anger
Why?
Fairness
Blame yourself or even others for the loss.
Effects -different ways and to different degrees for everyone
• Physical reactions
• Cognitive - “Brain Drain”
• Behavior
• Emotions
Physical Reactions to Grief/Trauma•Appetite changes•Feeling of choking•Dry mouth•Shortness of breath/yawning•Chest tightness
•Weakness•Fatigue•Exhaustion
•GI Disturbances
•Headaches/dizziness•Panic Attacks•Sleep disturbances ??
Cognitive (brain drain) reactions ?????????
– Trauma re-wires the brain. Why?
– The mind is so distracted that it’s difficult to focus on details.
– Preoccupation with images and thoughts of the loss/person
– Concentration is at a minimum.• Weakened memory skills• Difficulty in decision-making
Behavior - Reactions to GriefBehavior - Reactions to Grief
Disruptions of perceived “normalcy” Disruptions of perceived “normalcy” Difficulty following daily patterns/habitsDifficulty following daily patterns/habits DisorganizedDisorganized RestlessRestless Difficulty in decision-makingDifficulty in decision-making
Old life and patterns lose meaningOld life and patterns lose meaning
Emotions- Reactions to GriefEmotions- Reactions to Grief
Sadness, anger, anxiety, Sadness, anger, anxiety, loneliness, and guiltloneliness, and guilt
Grief can be overwhelmingGrief can be overwhelming
Function vs. dysfunctionFunction vs. dysfunction Very similar to an anxiety Very similar to an anxiety
disorderdisorder May need help to deal with itMay need help to deal with it
Coming out of loss/griefComing out of loss/grief
Emotional roller coaster can Emotional roller coaster can eventually turn into a new eventually turn into a new equilibrium for functioning. equilibrium for functioning.
May ride this coaster multiple timesMay ride this coaster multiple times Age-related/ maturity relatedAge-related/ maturity related
May need help to deal with itMay need help to deal with it you learn to deal/cope with it and…> you learn to deal/cope with it and…>
EMOTIONSSituational Depression/Sadness
PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD CHANGES!
•There is no hope, I just want to be left alone.
•A natural and important emotion(sadness) to cope.
May look for help from our personal support group ( who would YOU go to first?) or from a professional counselor.
Crisis Intervention TipsCrisis Intervention Tips(for self and others)(for self and others)
FUNCTIION VS DYSFUNCTIONFUNCTIION VS DYSFUNCTION We cannot be responsible for others We cannot be responsible for others
behaviors.behaviors.
However, we can be aware, supportive, and However, we can be aware, supportive, and positive in our efforts to develop and protect positive in our efforts to develop and protect good Mental Health in ourselves and others.good Mental Health in ourselves and others.
GET HELP from professionals.GET HELP from professionals.
William Worden (1982)
3. Readjust the environment
•Figure out who/what is important to you
•Choices about your
• thoughts and actions
William Worden (1982)
4. Reinvest emotional energy in other relationships (or things)
Examples: ??•This not that•“The broken road that led me straight to you”
Focus on what we Focus on what we CanCan DoDo
RecognizeRecognize and manage and manage negativenegative thoughts and emotions thoughts and emotions
Understand Understand stressstress and and identifyidentify stressors stressors
Develop Develop copingcoping skills skills
Make healthier choices in both your Make healthier choices in both your thoughts and actionsthoughts and actions
Focus on what we Focus on what we CanCan DoDo
It’s YOUR life, YOUR bookIt’s YOUR life, YOUR book - -
chapter by chapterchapter by chapter