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True and False Manliness

By: James Freeman Clarke, 1886

MANLINESS means perfect manhood, as womanliness implies perfect

womanhood. Manliness is the character of a man as he ought to be, ashe was meant to be. It expresses the qualities which go to make a

perfect man, truth, courage, conscience, freedom, energy, self-

possession, self-control. But it does not exclude gentleness,

tenderness, compassion, modesty. A man is not less manly, but more

so, because he is gentle. In fact, our word gentleman shows that a

typical man must also be a gentle man.

By manly qualities the world is carried forward. The manly spirit shows

itself in enterprise, the love of meeting difficulties and overcoming

them, the resolution which will not yield, which patiently perseveres,and does not admit the possibility of defeat. It enjoys hard toil, rejoices

in stern labor, is ready to make sacrifices, to suffer and bear disaster

patiently. It is generous, giving itself to a good cause not its own ; it is

public-spirited, devoting itself to the general good with no expectation

of reward. It is ready to defend unpopular truth, to stand by those who

are wronged, to uphold the weak. Having resolved, it does not go back,

but holds on, through good report and evil, sure that the right must win

at last. And so it causes truth to prevail, and keeps up the standard of

a noble purpose in the world.But as most good things have their counterfeits, so there is false

manliness which imitates these great qualities, though at heart it is

without them. Instead of strength of will, it is only willful; in place of

courage, it has audacity. True manliness does what it believes right;

false manliness, does what it chooses to do. Freedom, to one, means

following his own convictions of truth; to the other it means thinking as

he pleases, and doing as he likes. The one is reverent, the other rude;

one is courteous, the other overbearing ; one is brave, the other

foolhardy; one is modest, the other self-asserting. False manliness iscynical, contemptuous, and tyrannical to inferiors. The true man has

respect for all men, is tender to the sufferer, is modest and kind. The

good type uses its strength to maintain good customs, to improve the

social condition, to defend order. The other imagines it to be manly to

defy law, to be independent of the opinions of the wise, to sneer at

moral obligation, to consider itself superior to the established

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principles of mankind.

A false notion of manliness leads boys astray.

All boys wish to be manly; but they often try to become so by

copying the vices of men rather than their virtues. They see men

drinking, smoking, swearing; so these poor little fellows sedulouslyimitate such bad habits, thinking they are making themselves more

like men. They mistake rudeness for strength, disrespect to parents for

independence. They read wretched stories about boy brigands and boy

detectives, and fancy themselves heroes when they break the laws,

and become troublesome and mischievous. Out of such false

influences the criminal classes are recruited. Many a little boy who only

wishes to be manly, becomes corrupted and debased by the bad

examples around him and the bad literature which he reads. The cure

for this is to give him good books that show him truly noble examplesfrom life and history, and make him understand how infinitely above

this mock-manliness is the true courage which ennobles human nature.

In a recent awful disaster, amid the blackness and darkness and

tempest, the implacable sea and the pitiless storm, when mens

hearts were failing them from terror, and women and children had no

support but faith in a Divine Providence and a coming immortality,

the dreadful scene was illuminated by the courage and manly devotion

of those who risked their own lives to save the lives of others. Such

heroism is like a sunbeam breaking through the tempest. It shows usthe real worth there is in man.

No matter how selfish mankind may seem, whenever hours like

these come, which try mens souls, they show that the age of chivalry

has not gone; that though

The knights are dust, and their good swords rust,

there are as high-hearted heroes now as ever. Firemen rush into a

flaming house to save women and children. Sailors take their lives in

their hands to rescue their fellow-men from a wreck. They save them

at this great risk, not because they are friends or relatives, butbecause they are fellow-men.

Courage is an element of manliness. It is more than readiness to

encounter danger and death, for we are not often called to meet such

perils. It is every-day courage which is most needed,that which

shrinks from no duty because it is difficult; which makes one ready to

say what he believes, when his opinions are unpopular; which does not

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allow him to postpone a duty, but makes him ready to encounter it at

once; a courage which is not afraid of ridicule when one believes

himself right; which is not the slave of custom, the fool of fashion. Such

courage as this, in man or woman or child, is true manliness. It is

infinitely becoming in all persons. It does not seek display, it is oftenthe courage of silence no less than speech; it is modest courage,

unpretending though resolute. It holds fast to its convictions and

principles, whether men hear or whether they forbear.

Truthfulness is another element of true manliness.

Lies usually come from cowardice, because men are afraid of

standing by their flag, because they shrink from opposition, or because

they are conscious of something wrong which they cannot defend, and

so conceal. Secret faults, secret purposes, habits of conduct of which

we are ashamed, lead to falsehood, and falsehood is cowardice. Andthus the sinner is almost necessarily a coward. He shrinks from the

light; he hides himself in darkness. Therefore if we wish to be manly,

we must not do anything of which we are ashamed. He who lives by

firm principles of truth and right, who deceives no one, injures no one,

who therefore has nothing to hide, he alone is manly. The bad man

may be audacious, but he has no true courage. His manliness is only a

pretence, an empty shell, a bold demeanor, with no real firmness

behind it.

True manliness is humane. It says, We who are strong ought to bearthe infirmities of the weak. Its work is to protect those who cannot

defend themselves; to stand between the tyrant and the slave, the

oppressor and his victim. It is identical in all times with the spirit of

chivalry which led the good knights to wander in search of robbers,

giants, and tyrannical lords, those who oppressed the poor and robbed

helpless women and orphans of their rights. There are no tyrant barons

now, but the spirit of tyranny and cruelty is still to be found. The good

knight to-day is he who provides help for the blind, the deaf and

dumb,the insane; who defends animals from being cruelly treated,rescues little children from bad usage, and seeks to give working men

and women their rights. He protects all these sufferers from that false

manliness which is brutal and tyrannical to the weak, abusing its power

over women and children and domestic animals. The true knights to-

day are those who organize and carry on the societies to prevent

cruelty, or to enforce the laws against those who for a little gain make

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men drunkards. The giants and dragons to-day are those cruelties and

brutalities which use their power to ill-treat those who are at their

mercy.

True manliness is tender and loving; false manliness, cold and hard,

cynical and contemptuous. The bravest and most heroic souls areusually the most loving. Garibaldi, Kossuth, Mazzini, the heroes of our

times; Luther, who never feared the face of man; Gustavus -Adolphus

and William of Orange, are examples of this union of courage and

tenderness. Bold as lions in the defense of the right, such men in their

homes and their private life have a womanly gentleness. False

manliness is unfeeling, with no kindly sympathies, rude and rough and

overbearing. True manliness is temperate; it is moderate, it exercises

self-control, it is capable of self-denial and renunciation. False

manliness is self-willed and self-indulgent.True manliness differs also from the false in its attitude to woman. Itsknightly feeling makes it wish to defend her rights, to maintain herclaims, to be her protector and advocate. False manliness wishes toshow its superiority by treating women as inferiors. It flatters them, butit does not respect them. It fears their competition on equal levels, andwishes to keep them confined, not within walls, as in the Mohammedanregions, but behind the more subtle barriers of opinion, prejudice, andsupposed feminine aptitudes. True manliness holds out the hand towoman, and says, Do whatever you are able to do; whatever Godmeant you to do. Neither you nor I can tell what that is till all artificial

barriers are removed, and you have full opportunity to try. Manlystrength respects womanly purity, sympathy, and grace of heart. Andthis is the real chivalry of the present hour.