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WHAT THEY SHOULD REALLY TEACH US IN SEX ED CLASS.
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BASED ON CHAPTER ONE OF
THE GUIDE FOR A SINGLE MAN
READ THE ENTIRE FIRST CHAPTER OF BOTH BOOKS ATBIT.LY/THEGUIDESOR VISIT FGPRESS.COM/GUIDES TO ORDER.
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SEX ED DOES A TERRIBLE JOB OF EDUCATING CHILDREN ABOUT SEX.
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IN FACT, THE WHOLE POINT OF SEX ED HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN TO TEACH CHILDREN ANYTHING USEFUL ABOUT SEX.
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SO...WHAT HAS LONG BEEN THE POINT OF THE DREADED ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SEX ED ASSEMBLY?
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TO SCARE CHILDREN AWAY FROM EVER
F*CKING!
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AND HOW DO THEY DO THAT?
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1. BY EVOKING RELIGION
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1. BY EVOKING RELIGION 2. WITH DOOMSDAY THOUGHTS OF PREGNANCY
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3. AND DON’T FORGET, FREQUENTLY MENTIONING DISGUSTING DICK DISEASES.
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BUT NONE OF THESE THINGS WORKED, OF COURSE. BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING WE ALL CRAVE MORE THAN SEX.
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NO, WHAT THEY REALLY SHOULD TELL KIDS IN THOSE SEX ED ASSEMBLIES IS...
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“DON’T HAVE SEX, KIDDOS, BECAUSE: YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET ENOUGH OF IT!”
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“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE, EVEN THOUGH IT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, YOU’LL RARELY GET TO PARTICIPATE IN IT!”
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“I’VE BEEN ALIVE FOR 20,436 DAYS AND ONLY HAD SEX 198 TIMES. THAT’S LESS THAN 1% OF MY LIFE!”
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“DON’T HAVE SEX, BOYS, BECAUSE IT’LL MAKE YOU TOO SELF-CONSCIOUS! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE NOT HAVING ANY.”
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“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE IT’LL MAKE YOU SCREW OVER YOUR FRIENDS JUST TO SCREW ALL OVER SOME QUESTIONABLE CHICK YOU JUST MET AT THE BAR.”
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“DON’T HAVE SEX, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, BECAUSE: IT’LL MAKE YOU PHYSICALLY ILL.”
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“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE YOU’LL SOON NEED IT JUST TO VALIDATE YOUR PATHETIC
EXISTENCE.”
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“DON’T HAVE SEX BECAUSE IT WILL... EVENTUALLY…”
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RUIN YOUR LIFE.
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UNLESS YOU’VE READ
THE GUIDE FOR A SINGLE MAN & THE GUIDE FOR A SINGLE WOMAN
BY AARON GOLDFARB
available now atFGPRESS.COM/GUIDES