Partying.All I know is we like to party. And how.

Get your debauchery on. Go down to the Turk-ish baths and act like a bunch of drunken Roman nobles. Live it up like a rap video. Whoever came up with this idea is as close to being a goddamned genius as it gets, because last night had fun scrawled over it until well into the morning. Mellow mood? Check. LCD ping-pong-balls? Check. Wave machine? Check. Everybody checking everybody else out? Eh, check. And all those happy-happy-happy faces all around you. Just brilliant, we think last night contained most smiles EVER.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any bet-ter, it did. The deck saw some serious bounce action as it hosted the best night of EASA06 so far, banging tunes being knocked out from a limited system (a mere three iPods – Mistah, you a straight-up genius) by the best EASA DJ ever – mr. Daniel - and a serious case of people falling prey to their baser instincts. I’m not complainin’, I’m just sayin’ … you people make

.....................Friendly Grandfatherly AdviceWord to the wise – and not so wise: all’s fair in love and war, but if I catch somebody stepping on my toes again it’s going down the road of name and shame. So for you serial toe-steppers out there, keep it in mind, the toler-ance level of your actions is falling rapidly. I’m mad as hell, and I ain’t gonna

take it anymore! Now go and buy me some Werther’s Originals.

Probably not the best idea in the world to dry and drink beers in the indoor hot pool last night. The fair degree of splashing meant that it was generally a 50/50 warm beer/chlorinated water cocktail that you were drinking, rather than the icy pint of Wife Beater that you actually paid for. That probably ex-

plains why several people suffered from rot-gut this morning.

Irish Lads: the less you sing, the more people will like you. I known it doesn’t seem to make sense, but rumours abound that the lusty Micks’ singing isn’t as good as they might

think it is [Big Chest!]

Jay Gatsby (Five Brothers Fat Enterprises)

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Meals on Wheels“That meal was cockslap. I’m heading down to Subway in about 20 minutes”- Anonymous UK participant (It was Paul)

“I want my bloody money back. A bowl of rice for dinner is an insult.”- Anonymous alcoholic

As you know,it’s pretty much the highlife on the Good Ship Easa06, what with the interior of the boat looking like something a slaveship owner would have turned his nose up at, and the air conditioning not being worth a fucking curse. However, several people have voiced how dis-satisfied they are with the quality and indeed the quantity of the food. When you see the conditions that these people live and work in (namely a big sweaty metal box), you night come around to the opinion that the food is pretty – fucking – weak.

Enter Arkash Kobasch, our man in the stands with the half-pint of warm Stella. Literally putting his life and limb on the line, this intrepid journalists brings you a review of Thursdays real. This kid is out fo’ the gusto, and he gonna keep it real.

How it looked: it looked pretty promising, I must say, with a decent array of vegetables and some reasonable-looking cuts of meet. Call it a 6/10

How it tasted: considering that it has been described as “cockslap”, you’d sort of have to give it a poor 3/10

How it effected you: it half-killed me. I’m sure that had nothing to do with the warm pints of frothy Stellla and the gallons of hot water I swal-lowed in the pools. I’m sure it was all down to the food. A guarded 3/10

Now, even while I’m giving out about the standard of the food, I had it relatively good. The “Second Setting” of the meal was just a load of bread, basically the big-gest carb-fest you could possibly imagine, and all because the cater-ers rarely give us enough food. I’m not one to complain, but that sort of carry-on is a bit of a nonsense. Just look at the picture of Martin: when he arrived, that vest was straining at the seams. Now all that’’s left is a little waif who ba-sically disappears when he turns sideways.

- Arkash Kobasch (Five Brothers Fat Enterprises)

CALL THE COPS!EASA participants are showing a healthy disregard for the rule of law and the possibility of legal ramifications. Nothing better than going to a foreign country and having a good time reaking all the laws you can get through. A special report details two recent events which highlight the devil-my-care-attitude that has so enraged the local polizei.

Part 1) The KEK night – The Partying Experience [KEK Redux]

Howyeh there Gard! Is dere sumthin’ wrong dere? Jaysis, I had no idea. Just up for the day Gard. Of course, of course.Student architects from several countries were engaged in violent clashes with the Hungarian police after law enforcement officers stormed the KEK nightclub in Buda-pest two nights ago. Scores of armed police surrounded the establishment in the fashionable downtown district of Jozsefvaros as students were observed trying to have a bit of fun after a particularly tedious film showing. Not on my watch! After tense - and at times heated - negotiations, stu-dents released several hostages into the custody of alco-hol. What survivors remained are described to be a little shook, but off the critical list. However, a splinter group comprising of several die-hards from a little known western isle barricaded themselves within the bar and armed themselves with a potentially lethal combination of whiskey and vodka. Arkash Kobasch, our man on the inside, takes up the story:“If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have be-lieved it. Never in the field of humanity have I seen such wanton disregard for physical and mental health. These lads were obviously keen to make some sort of statement, but their behavior was poxy at best. At one stage a wee Maltese fox intervened in a brave attempt to save them from their vices, but the gesture only served to enrage the group, prompting a furious barrage of indecipherable in-jokes, Mick slang and indeed a further escalation of liver damage.”While the police response has been quoted as “draconian” and “heavy-handed”, the renegade group managed to evade capture and slip from the building unnoticed. The last confirmed sighting occured at a 24-hour McDonalds, where the group were seen to engage in further binge activity,

before breaking into smaller groups to make their way back to their Danube base, a freshly painted sweat lodge. Several of the group, marshalled by De Big Strong Man, slipped through police lines, dis-playing a bravura contempt for metropoli-tan public transit legislation. Kobasch reports:“Who is De Big Strong Man? He’s supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Maybe his name’s Sylveste. No-body believed he was real. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear these guys sing it, anybody could have worked for De Big Strong Man. You never knew. That was

his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. And poof. Just like that, he’s gone.”

Experts speculate that De Big Strong Man is in some way connected with the notorious Rumanian booze-pusher Dr Palenko and the great French linguist Clement, but it is known that the members of gang associate with the well known Mancunian cat burglar Chris “The JD Lush”. While “The JD Lush” has a strong alibi regarding his wherea-bouts, it is more likely that he was up some church roof stripping lead. He is a Manc, after all.

- Arkash Kobasch (Five Brothers Fat Enterprises)

Part 2) Thinking Outside the Box (Showing A Flagrant Dis-regard For The Law)

Let’s go and fuck a load of paper airplanes around a square and then spray-paint a big stencil in the middle of the pavement. In fairness, what did you think would happen lads? Thankfully Conor was able to escape with a warning by using his now famous, “Have you ever seen the Maaayh-trix?” chat-up line.

Even though the inquisi-tive copper was a burly heterosexual, the line is so good that the entire team was let off with hav-ing to merely clean up the mess they had made. Smooth.

Flamonge (Five Brothers Fat Enterprises)

the news, I just write about it. That said, there’s prob-ably some news that’s unfit to print, if you know follow me. It wasn’t so much romance that was in the air, but a filthy whack of want – abso-lutely filthy. Blame yourself if you were sleeping.

The party atmosphere contin-ued long into the wee-est of the wee hours (did any-body hear the police sirens?) and then into the late morn-ing as the lusty Micks, tire-less Latvians and a redoubt-able German element performed true heroics in bouncing back from a night of the no-sleep to produce a tour-de-force of breakfast service and manners in the face of some seriously red-eyed customers. What were you people doing, sticking your fingers in your eyes all last night? A shout out must also go to the good people who cleaned up the foredeck so diligently: that place was absolutely fucked last night, and you guys have it looking brand new.

Good hustle people. More of the same please.

Johnny Iroquois (Five Broth-ers Fat Enterprises)

The happy outside news

The world is doing ok. Some wars, some other things you don’t wanna know… But there is some really cool stuff to tell you. DENMARK has been announced as the happi-est country in the world. Yes, happiest. Some English scientists did this weird research and classified the world. Below Denmark there go our beloved Switzerland, Austria, Iceland and Bahamas. USA are 23rd and UK is 41st. The poor and sad countries in the very end of the list are Congo, Zimbabwe and Burundi. Of course they are sad – they cannot come to EASA!

ELLA

Br

Breaking archohol news!We got this nice letter today… It’s from the Belarus team. They are reaaalllyyy serious. It’s about our beloved Chris again. And he’s in trouble! Read on…

We have some good news for you! Seems like an-other sleepless night is waiting! Apparently we are having breakfast @ Heroes square tomorrow 9am. Or-ganizers assured us that we will wake up at 7am…which I’m sure means that none of us would prob-ably try to reach their beds until then. So who wins a day?

HOT NEWS!Welcome the Armenian girls who have just arrived to-day! Finally! Catched at the hot spot...

ADVERTS

Macedonian team is organising the exhibition about the SESAM006 held in Krusevo (Macedonia) on 8-16.04.2006. The event starts @ 21.30 in the restaurant deck on the SZOFIA boat, so everyone’s invited (not sure about free drinks though...)

Hungarian architecture blog looking for EASA bloggers! If you are posting about the event and/or have a blog on architecture, drop us a mail so we can build networks and aggregate opinions on EASA006 Budapest. Cheers! Samu Szemerey (I re-ally hope we spelled your name correct): mondom.info@gmail.com, mondom.blogger.hu

westside storyAre you already bored to tears by your tutors, or is a lack of materials stalling your progress? Well we here at d’umbrella suggest you take a break; get your squinty little eyes outside of the it-dungeon. Believe it or not, Budapest actually has some interesting spots to offer, and today were giving you a tour of buda-side, strickly essentials.But beware, never deviate from our set-out path! Wandering naievely trough buda might actually get you into “attractions” that will lead to accute boredom, and eventually to death-by-tourism.

To start of our tour you have to take the m2 busline from ferenciek ter to moszkva ter, from there you walk north towards millenaris park. As you walk north you’ll pass through a sort of mall. It’s a sandwich of 4 layers of all kinds of shops, a food-market and a supermarket. So while

you’re there, you might consider stocking up on fruit, water and any other basic sur-vival needs lacking on the ship.

Millenaris park is a new park with some swanky design. trees appearing to grow in water, red cows, and of course no 90 de-gree angle to be found. it is bordered by a few cultural buildings and cafees, but most importantly it has some nice grass to lay down and forget your workshop-frustra-tions. Also the water features large fish, which you could catch to supplement your easa-supper if it was a girl-sized portion or had simply run out. Also the park some-times features some breakdancers busting their moves, which seems to be popular here in Budapest.

If you’ve gotten to your fully relaxed state in the park, you walk back down south, through the mall towards the old town of Buda. As you walk south along the Tancsics Mihaly utca, dont get distracted by the pic-turesque houses: We have a clear goal here... the wine tasting cellars! Here they have a collection of over 750 wines of which daily 50 types are available. For 4000 HUF you can get absolutely hammered here on some decent wines. A nice alternative to the Kassa-bar, and economically interesting if you need more than 10 pints to get wasted.

Now that you’ve satisfied your thirst its time to get a nice view on the pest side of Budapest. The east side of buda near the church and the palace feature some nice views on the city, because the walled city of buda was built upon a hill. There is also an option to get a “better view” for 330 HUF, but we recommend it only if you get your kicks from being ripped-off. The nicer way of getting a better view is climbing the church’s tower. Its 400 HUF for students, and gets you a good few meters higher. However, dont dress up too skimpy, or you might not be allowed into this religious money-machine.

If you then walk further south towards the Danube you might want to walk on a bit further: In the rocks between the erszebet-bridge and the sza-batsag-bridge, there is some accomodation that makes Kassa look like ho-tel Astoria manhattan. These dudes actually live in a cave in the rocks, and they probably dont have an it-lab.

So, if you’ve sticked to the path, you should be now be relaxed, enlight-ened and absolutely wasted within a timespan of only a few hours. If you need some more distraction-tours, look out for the eastside-story in a later edition of Umbrella. Then we will introduce you to the hard-to-find essentials of the pest-side of the city.

Love Corner:(easa_lovedoctor@hotmail.com)

Well well well campers, have I got some juicy gossip mate-rial for you - below is a list of confirmed “mini” or “maxi” relationships on the go on the EASA love boats...What should not be surprising is that the Dirty Dutch lead the way with 3

Badges!You may have already come across these onboard, and perhaps have been lucky enough to have been given one by the “badgers” roaming around, looking for people to give them to, and who have a likeness to the face on the badge itself - perhaps only a temporary likeness (such as the angry one) or a long term likeness, such as the one with nice eyes...awwww. The badgeroo is kindly sponsored by the UK team, we thanks them in kind by printing their flag, which we should note is still missng from their island of scaffolding...very sad...

“goings on” with Romania and Malta tied in second with 2 each, with a few other countries joining in the fun. Of course much more research will have to be done be-fore a definitive table can be formed. So come on you love rats (or just plain rats) - fill in the Love Doctor with the details before someone else does!

Russia & NetherlandsAustria & NetherlandsRomania & NetherlandsRomania & UKMalta & SloveniaMalta & a Southern American nation

I’m also glad to say I received my first letter as Love Doctor for EASA, which was as follows; “Dear Lovely Love Doctor, I have recently developed a crush on a member of the EASA staff, one whom you know well in your professional capacity. I am slightly intimidated by his experience in the world of love, and fear I might not be able to match his expectations...what can I do Doctor?” Dr Love answers: Dear love-victim, I would say firstly that you should always keep your personal confidence high, as if you don’t, you will never make yourself or the love of your life happy...Even though this gentle-man may be an expert in the ways of the heart (and the rest of the body) you can be sure that he is surely a 21st century man; sensetive, caring, and thoughtful. Go get him girl!