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By Claude Fontaine

Take Control of Your Happiness Today

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Go Ahead Make Your Day

By Claude Fontaine

First Published by Jump Start International 1995Re-Published by WEBaddicts 2001

WEBaddicts290 Rimmington Dr

Oakville, ONL6H-3N5Canada

http://www.wa99.com

ISBN 0-9732544-0-8

Copyright Notices.Copyright 1994 by Claude Fontaine all rights reserved.Reproduction, adaptation, or translation of this document without priorwritten permission is prohibited, except as allowed under the copyrightlaws

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CCoonntteennttss

INTRODUCTION 1

GO AHEAD MAKE YOUR DAY 1Not a How-To Book 1Go Ahead Make Your Day! 2

CHAPTER ONE 3

BECOMING YOUR BEST FRIEND 3CHALLENGES 3

SELF SERVING ? 4EXERCISE 5IMPORTANT POINTS 5

CHAPTER TWO 6

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR REACTIONS 6JACK AND JOHN 6ACTION AND REACTION 7VISUALIZATION 8

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY 8Important Points 9

CHAPTER THREE 10

COMPETING ONLY WITH YOURSELF 10COMPETING AGAINST OTHERS 10WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING COMPETITIVE? 10BEING TOO COMPETITIVE 11THE STRUCTURE OF COMPETITION 11IMPORTANT POINT 12

CHAPTER FOUR 13

DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY. 13PRIDE vs. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF 14SHARE YOUR STUPIDITY 14DISARM JOKES ABOUT YOU 15IMPORTANT POINTS 15

CHAPTER FIVE 16

WELCOME CRITICISM 16TRY TO BENEFIT FROM CRITICISM 17

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CCoonntteennttssONLY A MOTHER WILL SAY "GO WASH YOUR FACE" 18Points to Remember 18

CHAPTER SIX 19

WRITE YOUR OWN EULOGY 19HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED? 19LIVE TODAY THE WAY YOU WISH TO BE REMEMBERED TOMORROW 22FOLLOW YOUR MAP 22POINTS TO REMEMBER 22

CHAPTER SEVEN 23

FOCUS ON NOW 23SOMEDAY 23FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME 24EXERCISE 25POINTS TO REMEMBER 25

CHAPTER EIGHT 26

AIM FOR BALANCE 26

TO MUCH OF A GOOD THING 26WHERE IS YOUR TIME SPENT? 27HOW MUCH TIME ARE YOU SPENDING FOR: 27HOW MUCH TIME SHOULD YOU SPEND WITH: 28

POINTS TO REMEMBER 28

CHAPTER NINE 29

DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM OTHERS 29NOTHING NEW 30

DON'T LET INGRATITUDE RUIN YOUR HAPPINESS. 30GIVE WITHOUT NEEDING TO BE GIVEN TO 31POINTS TO REMEMBER 31

CHAPTER TEN 32

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS 32POINTS TO REMEMBER 32

CHAPTER ELEVEN 33

STOP WORRYING 33WHY STOP WORRYING? 33I LEARNED AND SO CAN YOU! 34

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CCoonntteennttssMETHOD #1: FOCUS ON PREVENTION. 34METHOD #2: ACCEPT THE WORST. 35METHOD # 3: KEEP BUSY. 35METHOD # 4: HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY. 35METHOD # 5: PLAY THE ODDS. 35

POINTS TO REMEMBER. 36

CHAPTER TWELVE 37

TAKE TIME TO REFLECT 37KEEP WORKING 37MY MEDITATION 38POINTS TO REMEMBER 39

GO AHEAD NOW 40What are Habits? 40Want to 40The How To 41Do It 41

APPENDIX A 1IMPORTANT POINTS 2

CHAPTER TWO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR REACTIONS 3Important Points 3

CHAPTER THREE 4

COMPETING ONLY WITH YOURSELF 4IMPORTANT POINT 4

CHAPTER FOUR 5

IMPORTANT POINTS 5

CHAPTER FIVE 6

WELCOME CRITICISM 6Points to Remember 6

CHAPTER SIX 7

WRITE YOUR OWN EULOGY 7POINTS TO REMEMBER 9

CHAPTER SEVEN FOCUS ON NOW 10

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CCoonntteennttssEXERCISE 10Write your focus goals: 10POINTS TO REMEMBER 10

CHAPTER EIGHT 11

AIM FOR BALANCE 11HOW MUCH TIME ARE YOU SPENDING FOR: 11HOW MUCH TIME SHOULD 12

POINTS TO REMEMBER 12

CHAPTER NINE 13

DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM OTHERS 13POINTS TO REMEMBER 13

CHAPTER TEN 14

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS 14POINTS TO REMEMBER 14

CHAPTER ELEVEN 15

STOP WORRYING 15POINTS TO REMEMBER. 15

CHAPTER TWELVE 16

TAKE TIME TO REFLECT 16POINTS TO REMEMBER 16

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GGoo AAhheeaadd MMaakkee YYoouurr DDaayy

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INTRODUCTION

GO AHEAD MAKEYOUR DAYStart With Happiness.If you are like most people, you probably view happiness as an end result.Happiness is a result of moving away from home, or getting a job. Happinessis a result of buying a car or becoming financially successful. If this is the viewof happiness that you share I have great news for you. You need not wait tobe happy. You can be happy right now! Happiness is not some mysteriousthing for which we need to search. In his book, "Happiness is an Inside Job",

John Powell writes, "I am convinced that happiness is within the reach ofeveryone. The problem is that if we reach out, we are going in the wrongdirection. Happiness is, and has always been, an inside job."

Not a How-To BookWhat you have in front of you is by no means an attempt to tell you how to behappy. It is more a book of reflections that is intended to assist you in formingthe happiness habit. These reflections have come from years of readingbooks and listening to cassettes. Since the age of sixteen I have made it a

hobby to read self-help books. I have read books by Dale Carnegie, BarryKaufman, Anthony Robbins, Napoleon Hill, Dennis Waitley, and Jose Silva; toname only a few. My collection of self-help books and biographies extends

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into the hundreds. At first, when reading these books, I would highlight theimportant thoughts that I wanted to retain. As my collection grew I decidedthat it would be easier to write down key thoughts in a separate book for quickreference.

The following pages are an attempt to organize all of the thoughts that helpme be happy. In effect, the following pages are my notes, my guide, my bookon being happy. At the end of several chapters I have included someexercises. These exercises are designed to help you reflect on the contentsof the chapter. Appendix A is a section to which you may transpose theexercises from the individual chapters along with any additional key pointsyou may wish to remember. The end result is a few pages that you can pullout which will become your notes, your guide, your book on being happy.

Go Ahead Make Your Day!

Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they makeup their minds to be". Happiness is truly as simple as making up your mindto be happy. This is why you must constantly remind yourself to be happy.

You must make happiness a habit. You must take the responsibility of goingahead and making it your day. You must free yourself from being a victim ofthe way your boss treats you, the way your parents treat you, or the wayothers treat you. Stop giving the responsibility for your happiness to everyonearound you. Being happy is far too important to leave it up to someone orsomething else. My challenge to you is,

GO AHEAD AND MAKE YOUR DAY!

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CHAPTER ONE

BECOMING YOURBEST FRIENDBy now we all have heard that we are our own worst critic. What is evensadder is that most of us are our own worst enemy as well. Daily we abuse

our bodies with alcohol, drugs, junk food, etc. We abuse our minds withnegative personal perceptions. We tell ourselves that we are stupid, fat, ugly,etc. It is no wonder we battle with the idea of becoming our own best friend.Being our own worst enemy is the most likely factor in preventing many of usfrom being happy. The sad part is that many of us don't realize just how bad afriend we are to ourselves.

CHALLENGES

Life presents us daily many challenges and obstacles to overcome. The lastthing we need to do is to fight ourselves along the way. We must take theresponsibility of looking after ourselves. After all, this responsibility is muchtoo important to leave to others. In these increasingly complicated and difficulttimes we truly need to become the best friend we can to ourselves. We mustmake peace with ourselves and nurture our mind, body and spirit. Once webecome our own best friend we develop an inner peace. This inner peaceallows us to become loving and happy towards ourselves.

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SELF SERVING ?

If you think the idea of becoming our own best friend, loving ourselves moreand becoming happy is selfish and self serving think again. Once we developthis level of self content we automatically radiate love, kindness andhappiness to everyone we come in contact with. Barry Kaufman the author of"Happiness is a Choice" sums it up best when he writes,

"If just one person changes, becomes happier, touches another with a

more loving and peaceful hand, the world has, indeed, become a morepeaceful place. If each of us acknowledges him or herself as one entityin an interlocking network of interactions, then, like the stone droppedin a pond, our evolution will cause countless ripples".

Becoming Your Best Friend.

Being your best friend must become a habit to you. Since most of us, and Iincluded, have spent most of our lives doing the opposite such a habit, likemost good habits, can be difficult to form. To form such a habit we must beconstantly reminding ourselves of what we need in a best friend. At first youmay even need to remind yourself several times a day. Later when it isdeveloped a couple times a month will suffice. The second part of developingthis habit is to have a very clear image of what you personally need in a bestfriend. If, for example, you are overweight the characteristics you will belooking for in a best friend might be:

Someone who will love you for who you are.

Someone who will not try to deny the fact that you may beoverweight.

Someone that will be there to encourage you to lose weightbecause of concern for your health.

Someone that will make sure you lose weight properly with exerciseand diet and not crazy fad diets.

Someone that will always be there to remind you of your goals.

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Someone that won't give up on you when your progress is not quitewhat they expected or when you cheat a bit.

Someone that will put you back on track if they see you slipping

and encourage you to do better next time.

EXERCISE

Take the time now to write down what you need in a friend. Review it everyday for the first few weeks until being the friend you need becomes a habit.

After being your own best friend is a habit then review it at least once amonth. If your needs change in the following months then write these needsdown and repeat the process.

WHAT I NEED IN A BEST FRIEND IS:

IMPORTANT POINTS

Be happy, loving and content with yourself and you will automatically radiatelove and happiness.

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CHAPTER TWO

TAKERESPONSIBILITY

FOR YOURREACTIONS

JACK AND JOHN

Jack and John grew up in two very different environments:

Jack went to a school where all the teachers were idiots.

John went to a school where the teachers were good, kind and alwaysready to help.

Jack's parent were not very understanding. His father was pig headedand his mother was weak.

John's parents were the best. His father had a very strong characterand his mother had a heart of gold.

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Jack had a part time job at the age of 16 working for a boss who was areal pain. She showed no respect for him and never praised any of hiswork. She even ended up firing him.

John had a part time job at the age of 16 that was great. His bossalways praised his work. She gave him more and more responsibilityalong with more privileges.

The funny part is that Jack and John were brothers. They had the sameparents, went to the same school, and even had the same part time jobworking for the same person. Life gave these brothers many similaropportunities. The difference was how John and Jack reacted to everything. IfJohn and Jack both won a million dollars John would probably be happy and

grateful. Jack, on the other hand, probably would be upset that thegovernment would be taking a third of the money in taxes.

ACTION AND REACTION

Life is a series of reactions to the circumstances which we encounter. Ifsomeone walks up to you tomorrow and slaps your face it is an action. If youturn the other cheek it is a reaction. If you get angry and resort to violence it is

also a reaction. For every action there are several different reactions possible.The important point is that you, and only you, can be held responsible for yourreactions. You may try to blame your reactions on alcohol, drugs, thepressure at work, the way you were raised, the way other people treated youor a combination of the above. The truth is, it is time that you take fullresponsibility for your reactions. For every excuse you can come up with I'msure we could easily find hundreds of people that could have used the sameexcuse but did not. These people take responsibility for their reactions andact in a positive way. You may be thinking that reactions are controlled byyour nervous system and are totally uncontrollable. If someone says boo, you

jump. If someone says fire, you run. The truth is your mind controls all yourreactions. To control your reactions you must, therefore, take control of yourmind. You must take responsibility for your mind. If you want to react in apositive way to an action you must first tell your mind to react positive in thissituation. If you happen to be in a traffic jam you may normally act in anegative way. You may honk the horn and your blood pressure may rise. Youmay curse and get yourself all worked up. When looking back on the situationyou may realize that your reaction was very negative. Your job now is toconvince your mind that this is not the way that you react.

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VISUALIZATION

Convincing your mind to react in a positive way is simply a matter ofvisualizing the way you wish to react in any given situation. At first it may bedifficult but the more you practice the easier it will get. Much like the martialartist practices over and over, moving and blocking until moving and blockinga punch becomes a reaction. You can train your mind by repeatedvisualizations of any situation. If you wish to act more positive in a traffic jamvisualize yourself in a traffic jam. You take a deep breath and realize that thesituation is beyond your control but your reaction is totally in your control. You

visualize yourself actually getting calmer as the hectic highway pace getsslower. You visualize yourself turning on the radio to a relaxing station or yousee yourself having the time to listen to your favorite cassette. You see it as abreak in the action. You visualize that you had anticipated such a delay soyou left your home or office early. If the traffic jam is longer then anticipatedand you are most definitely going to be late you quickly realize that thesituation is beyond your control. You realize that getting worked up about thesituation can only make it worse. You then make the best of the situation.Take the time to gather your thoughts and come up with a good excuse for

why you are late.

YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

Once you have assumed responsibility for your reactions your happiness isno longer dependent on anyone or anything. How good your day goes is nolonger your boss's, co-worker's or customer's responsibility. If your boss, co-worker or customer is in a bad mood you decide how to react. You can let his

or her mood drag you down or you can take control of your reaction. If he orshe has chosen to be miserable that is their problem and not yours. It is stillpossible to react in a positive way even when everyone else is not. In fact, itis far better if you can stay in control and stay positive. This will demonstratea far better mental attitude. If your boss, co-worker or customer is screamingand criticizing your work, it would be difficult to return to your work and toperform to your maximum. You would be much better off if you had the abilityto stay calm. Take the time to reflect on what was said to you. Try to learnsomething from what was said remembering that it was said by someone whowas not in control. Then return to your work with that episode behind you andfocusing on the task at hand. At first it may sound next to impossible to reactthis way to yelling and criticism. Don't give up. I guarantee you that only a

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short while after you have decided that you must take control of yourreactions it will be possible. You must first decide that this is the way you wishto react. Once you decide that you would like to react in this way and youknow you are responsible for your reactions, it then becomes possible.Secondly, you must remind yourself of all the disadvantages to reactingnegatively and all the advantages to reacting positively. You then mustvisualize yourself in the situation and reacting the way you would like. Takingresponsibility for your reactions is not always easy. In fact, it is easier to findsomeone or something else to blame for your faults. The advantages, on theother hand, for being responsible for your reactions far out weigh the effort.Once you have decided to take responsibility for your reactions yourhappiness and success is no longer dependent on anything or anyone. Youcan stop dwelling on the past and start focusing on your potential. You realize

it doesn't matter what happened to mess up your day or to mess up your life.You have the option to react in a positive or negative way. If someone getsupset with you, you decide how you would like to react. You can get angry inreturn and engage in a battle that may even turn violent. You can react in apositive way, keep your cool and stay in control enabling you to take controlof the situation. If a close friend dies you decide how you want to react. Youcan go on a drinking binge feeling sorry for yourself and end up miserable.You can also decide not to feel sorry for yourself, and realize just howprecious and short life really is. Also it can make you realize that you never

know when your time will come. Since you don't want to spend your lastyears, weeks or days on this earth being unhappy you must decide the timeto be happy is now.

Important Points

Life is a series of actions acting on you.

To every action there are several positive reactions.

Take full responsibility for your reactions.

Once you have selected the right positive reaction, visualizeyourself reacting in that manner until it is an automatic reaction.

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CHAPTER THREE

COMPETING ONLYWITH YOURSELF

COMPETING AGAINST OTHERS

When I was growing up and going through school the teacher would hand outawards to the students with the best grades in English, Math, History, etc.When playing hockey the coach gave an award to the best defensive player,the top scorer, the most improved, etc. In kindergarten, I remember beingdevastated when I placed second in the annual track and field day. From avery young age we are forced into competing against each other. When weget out of school and into the work force it doesn't stop. We strive to be"Employee of the Month", the office's top producer or the top salesperson. It isno wonder so many of us are hung up on competing against others.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING COMPETITIVE?

Some of you might be asking, "What's wrong with being competitive?".Nothing! My wife would tell you that the most competitive person she knows isClaude Fontaine. The problem is not being competitive but against whom youare competing. In school I could never get the grades to place me at the topof my class. I came to a point were I stopped trying. It was easier to acceptmy standing due to the fact that I was not trying than to accept that somestudents were better than I was. Before going to high school I was consideredbig for my age. This gave me a small advantage when it came to sports. Iplayed every sport I could. I remember one Saturday going to a hockey

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practice from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. At 11:00 I had a basketball practice,from which I left early so I could try-out for the school volleyball team between12:00 and 2:00 p.m. I loved playing and watching all sports. When I got tohigh school I stopped playing all sports. During my high school years Iattended only one sports team try-out. It was a basketball try-out and a friendwanted to go but didn't want to go alone. During this try-out I intercepted apass going over my head and dove for a lay-up in front of the coach. I madethe team. My friend was cut in the third practice which I didn't attend. Thefollowing week I approached the coach and informed him that I didn't reallyhave time to play. My friend was then added to the team in my place. I saidback then and truly believed that I was not playing any sports because I hatedcompeting. I believed that I was just not a competitive person.

BEING TOO COMPETITIVE

It was not until recently that I realized the opposite was true. The fact was, Iwas so competitive that when I got to high school and there were manystudents who were equal or greater in size, strength and ability, that I didn'twant to play if I couldn't be the best. Like my school work, I found it easier tobelieve that I was not the best athlete because I didn't try.

THE STRUCTURE OF COMPETITION

Whenever there is competition between people the following things happen.There is only room at top for one person. Closely following the top positionthere is a small group of people. This group is driven by the hope thatsomeday they will reach the top position. At the bottom of the triangle there isa group that just can't put it together, they are always being disappointed.After being crushed over and over again they simply give up, or join a weakergroup so they have an opportunity to be the best of that group. For the person

on top it is a constant struggle to keep the top position for one day someonewill come along and knock that person down from the pedestal. This blowmay be even harder to take than the disappointment of never being on top inthe first place. Athletes often experience this, for years they compete at thehighest level of their sport, then one day they just can't keep up with theyounger athlete who is entering his prime. Even those who are a closesecond are not safe from feeling unhappy. Years of being "the bridesmaid"can take its toll.

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HOW CAN YOU BE COMPETITIVE AND HAPPY?

I am still very competitive except now I am competing against myself and notagainst the world. Everyday I try to improve Claude Fontaine mentally,physically and spiritually. I try to never be down on myself because of myfaults. Instead, I acknowledge them and strive to improve on those areas Ifeel are deficient. This mind set is imperative for becoming truly happy. Whenyou live your life in competition with others you can never be fully happy. Inthe presence of someone who is succeeding financially and has a bigger car,or bigger house, you may become envious, jealous or even depressed

because that person has more "toys" than you. In the presence of someonewho has less than you, you may have a tendency to look down at them. Thisis a sure way of missing out on a relationship that might have, otherwise,enriched your life. Once you learn to compete only with yourself, you will thenbe free to be sincerely happy for others who succeed. You can then alsoenjoy your own successes more. You will no longer have to wait until you arenamed "Employee of the Month", "Top Producer" or "Most Valuable Player" tobe happy.

You can start being happy right now. Since your goal is to improve yourself

you can be happy everyday with your successes no matter how small. On thedays that you feel you have not improved at all, stop and think. I am willing tobet that you can find, at least, one thing that you have learned or changed.

IMPORTANT POINT

Compete only with yourself.

Enjoy every one of your successes no matter how small.

Enjoy other people's successes no matter how small.

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CHAPTER FOUR

DON'T TAKEYOURSELF TOOSERIOUSLY.While working for Bell Canada I was given the job of Tester. As a tester oneof my responsibilities was to take calls from Installation and RepairTechnicians and I would assist the technicians in any way I could. Thetelephone set I used had the capability to connect approximately twentycallers at one time. It was not uncommon to have eight calls on the go atonce. For some this part of the job was just to much to handle while I, on theother hand, loved the action. I loved telling people about my job, especiallywhen they would tell me that they didn't think they could handle such a highpressured job. Looking back I realize that it was my way of feeling important. Ienjoyed the fact that people thought I was doing a high pressure job, but Iwas manufacturing my own stress. I realized that I was taking myself and myjob far too seriously. Shortly after making this realization I recovered awooden carving of a squirrel that a colleague of mine had tossed in thegarbage. I placed the squirrel beside my computer so that, whenever I lookedat the squirrel I would be reminded not to take life so seriously. I began takingthe calls and my job lighter, my stress level was drastically reduced and myefficiency was proportionately increased.

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PRIDE vs. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF

Not taking myself so seriously is one of the hardest things for me to do. Myfather is a man with much pride. I greatly admire my father. So, in order to belike him I chose to adopt his sense of pride. In fact, while writing this booklet Ihave come to realize that my mother and siblings are also very proud.Although this pride has served us well in many aspects of our lives it has alsobeen burdensome in others. It is not always easy for proud people to laugh atthemselves, let alone laugh with others about ones own shortcomings. I mustconstantly remind myself that doing stupid things is part of being human. Asthe old Chinese saying goes: "Blessed are they who can laugh atthemselves. They shall never cease to be entertained."

SHARE YOUR STUPIDITY

Once you start taking yourself less seriously and learn to laugh, don't stopthere. Why not share your amusement with others. The worst that could

happen is that people will realize you are human. You also will notice thatpeople who laugh the most are the ones who are able to relate to yourcircumstance because they see themselves as capable of doing the samething or they already have done so. Some of the biggest laughs I have withmy friends are not when I tell a dirty joke that may scandalize someone, or aracial joke, or a joke that may offend someone. I get the biggest laugh whenthe person we are laughing at is me. When the joke you are telling is aboutyourself people feel free to laugh knowing that no one is being scandalized,hurt or offended.

NOTE: Use some discretion when selecting who you tell what to.

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DISARM JOKES ABOUT YOU

Along with being able to laugh at yourself you also must be able to take ajoke. The ability to take a joke is not always easy for someone with a lot ofpride. It is not the actual words that hurt your feelings or offend you, but theway you interpret the words. On some occasions you could interpret thewords as someone trying to be funny. In some instances you could interpretthe words as someone making a comment without stopping to think. Nomatter what the occasion, it is important to take the words with a grain of salt.Don't take the words personally but try to find some humor in them even when

you know they were deliberately said with the intent to tease or hurt you.There is nothing that will disarm words faster then taking them lightly andtrying to find the humor behind them.

IMPORTANT POINTS

Don't take yourself so seriously.

Learn to laugh at your bloopers.

Share your bloopers with others.

Take words said to you lightly and with humor.

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CHAPTER FIVE

WELCOME

CRITICISMThis chapter is an carry-over of the two previous chapters. It combinesChapter Two, and Chapter Four. As stated in chapter two "TakeResponsibility for your Reactions", you should take control of how you wish toreact. You can react positively or negatively to any criticism, it is all up to you.In Chapter Four, "Don't Take Yourself so Seriously", you must sometimestake criticism lightly with a sense of humor. Although the other chapters coverthe basic principles of handling criticism, it can be such a hard thing to handlethat I thought it deserved its own specific chapter. As stated in the previouschapter, my problem with having too much pride makes it hard for me toaccept criticism at times. This is another reason why I am giving this topic itsown chapter.

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TRY TO BENEFIT FROM CRITICISM

An interesting story was told to me several years ago but I no longerremember who the story teller was or their sources, It is the story of a poornewspaper boy who was selling papers on the streets of Toronto. One daythe young boy approached a nicely dressed lady to sell her a paper. The ladyturned around and shouted out to him, "You dirty little street peddler why don'tyou go home and take bath instead of pestering everyone on the street anddisgracing our fine city." The little boy turned around and ran home in tearsgiving up his newspapers for the day. That night the boy, who was deeplyhurt, cried himself to sleep. During the night he had a dream. In his dream hewas nicely dressed and working in a cigar store. The store was sparklingclean with not a magazine or a can of tobacco out of place and was filled withsmiling customers purchasing his merchandise. The next day the boyreflected on the lady's comments and on his dream. He decided that it wasmore than a coincidence. The dream was an inner voice talking to him. Hejumped out of bed took a bath, put on his Sunday suit and left the housebefore his mother could find out. That day the little boy sold more newspapersand received more tips than he ever did. He found that people were morereceptive to him and they smiled more. Cleanliness then became a way of life

for him. Everyday he sold more and more newspapers and after a couple ofmonths he had saved enough for his very own news stand and a new suit. Iam not sure of the exact details to the end of the story, but for our purpose Iwill say he went on to own one of the largest cigar stores chains in Canada.The point of the story is obvious, criticism may hurt but you must step backand try to find a valid point in the criticism. After all, you may just findsomething that will enrich your life. If you truly cannot find one valid point inthe criticism you must then look at the source or motive of the criticism. If thesource is that of a jealous or spiteful person then use the techniques learned

in Chapter One and don't allow your critic the satisfaction of getting to you.

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ONLY A MOTHER WILL SAY "GO WASH YOUR FACE"

It is also important to remember that most criticism comes from the peoplewho care enough about us to try and help. It takes a mother to tell you thatyour face is dirty, go wash or your wife to tell you not to attempt to fix thedishwasher. It takes a friend to tell you to remove the sign that says "kick me"off your back. Anyone else, but a friend, will just kick you.

Points to Remember

Criticism can be helpful.

Realize the source of the criticism.

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CHAPTER SIX

WRITE YOUR OWNEULOGYToday is the first day of the rest of your life! You should not worry about thepast, you cannot change it. Today marks a new beginning to the rest of yourlife. I also sincerely believe that today may be your last day on earth.Therefore, it is important to approach life with your final day in mind.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED?

When your time has come to leave this earth how do you want to beremembered? Would you like to be remembered as a happy person or amiserable one? Would you like to be remembered as kind or angry, as honestor dishonest? If you have never reflected on the way you would like to beremembered then do this now. To help you do this, imagine yourself at your

own funeral. Picture the people approaching the podium and giving theireulogy to you.

What would you like your:Spouse to say?

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Children to say?

Friends to say?

Co-workers to say?

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Community to say?

Church to say?

Neighbors to say?

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LIVE TODAY THE WAY YOU WISH TO BE REMEMBEREDTOMORROW

Once you have taken the time to write out your eulogy, use it as a guide.Read it as often as you can to make sure you stay on track. If you would likeyour wife to remember you as a loving and sensitive man then be loving andsensitive towards her today and everyday. If you want your friends toremember you as a faithful and honest person be faithful and honest. Thismay sound oversimplified but it really doesn't need to be complicated. Youdon't need to make a big resolution or big promises to change yourself. Theonly thing you need to do is, commit yourself to your goal one day at a time.

The catch is you need to do this everyday.

FOLLOW YOUR MAP

The analogy of setting out on a road trip without a map may be over used bynow, but it still applies. If you have never heard it, here is the analogy andhow it applies to the above example:Picture yourself going on a road trip. Your final destination represents yourgoal. The roads you must travel to arrive at your destination represent the

steps needed to reach your goal. There are many roads that will get youthere. Some roads may be rougher or longer than others. If you want to get toyour destination in the shortest amount of time possible, it's important youhave a road map (a plan for your goals). If you have never been somewherebefore, you would not dream of getting into your car and driving aimlesslyhoping you might stumble upon your destination. Neither should you stumblethrough your life hoping to reach your goals. It is important that you look atyour road map frequently to make sure you are still on the right track. If youdon't check your map daily you might find yourself going to bed further from

your destination then when you started your day.

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Keep in mind it may be your last day here.Write your own eulogy.Live your life every day with your eulogy in mind.If you don't remind yourself of your final destination

frequently you may be going further away.

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CHAPTER SEVEN

FOCUS ON NOWThis chapter is dedicated to focusing on "the now". When I say focus on now Imean it in two ways. One is to eliminate the "someday attitude", and the otheris the ability to focus on one thing at time.

SOMEDAY

The "someday attitude" is a trap that many people fall into. The "somedaypeople" will be happy when:

they graduate from high school.they get a job.they get a promotion.they get a new job.they get more money.they retire.they die.

Why not be happy now? This may sound like a crazy and perhaps novel idea,but why not? Enjoy the journey. It is said that you are happier on your way tothe restaurant then you are on the way home. You are happier on your way toa vacation then you are on your vacation. You should also be happier on yourway to your life destination. Take the time to enjoy the simple everydaythings. Really enjoy that first cup of coffee. Enjoy the drive to work, use thistime to enjoy the radio or a cassette. Plan out your day. (Warning: frompersonal experience this is not the best time to catch up on your sleep). Whenyou are at work, look for the things that make you happy, instead of the thingsthat don't. When you get home at night enjoy your supper. The time to enjoyis now and the time to be happy is now. So stop waiting for "some day" to

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happen because it may not. Being unhappy would be the worst way to spendyour last day on this earth. Since we never know when our last day will be,don't waste today being unhappy! The time to be happy is now!

FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME

The second meaning of "Focusing on Now" is the ability to focus on one thingat a time. This ability takes discipline to acquire. Whoever masters this art issure to reduce worry and increase effectiveness in all areas of their life. Theability to "Focus on Now" is sure to increase the quality of your life and giveyou greater happiness in whatever you do. Focusing on now is the ability tocome home from work after a hard day and be able to focus on your

relationship with your family or friends. Focusing on now is the ability to go towork after a crisis has occurred at home and still be effective. If you have theability to focus on work when you are at work you will be more effective. If youhave the ability to focus on now when you are driving in your car you may besaving your life or someone else's. Focus on your children when you are withthem, focus on your spouse when you are with him or her and focus on yourfriends when you are with them. The quality of your relationships will increasedramatically. We have all had the experience of talking to someone andleaving with the feeling that the person's mind was somewhere else. Nowimagine the feeling you would get if you were talking to someone who wasgiving you all of their attention, nothing else mattered. They didn't letthemselves be distracted with other conversations or by the television in thebackground. It is; therefore, important to follow the oldest rule in humanrelations, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you".This ability or art to be able to focus on one thing at a time or "focus on now"can be learned. The first step is to realize the importance of being so focused.Use the work area given to clearly write out the areas you would like most tobe focused. Once your specific areas are written out try to review them beforestarting your day. During your day you will start to catch yourself being

distracted. This is perfectly normal and should be expected especially at first.Remember catching yourself being distracted is half the battle. The more youremind yourself of the importance of "Focusing on Now", the more you willpractice. The more you practice, the sooner it will become a habit.

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EXERCISE

Please write your focus goals:

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Focus on now.Don't wait for "some day" to be happy.Learn to focus all your mental abilities on the task athand.

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CHAPTER EIGHT

AIM FOR BALANCETo enjoy a happy life we must enjoy every aspect of our life. To enjoy eachaspect we must aim for balance. Much like a balanced diet, we should aim fora balanced life. You may enjoy the taste of cheesecake but if cheesecake isthe only food your diet consists of you will not meet your nutritional needs. Ifpartying and having a good time is your only source of happiness you also will

not meet your emotional needs. We must aim for a balanced life that does notover-dose in any one area.

TO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

The person who is so caught up in working so they can make money topurchase a nice car, house, etc. may be neglecting the people they love toattain these goals. At the end of it all, this person can never be happy withoutsharing their wealth with those they love. A person who works hard in order to

save enough money for retirement, may neglect their health, and will not livelong enough to enjoy that retirement. Life is very delicate and it can besnatched away without warning. Since life is so precious and delicate it isimportant that we take time every day to examine what we are doing with ourlife.

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WHERE IS YOUR TIME SPENT?

The following exercise is designed to help you reflect on where you spendmost of your time. This exercise, like all the other exercises in this bookshould not be an exercise in examining your shortcoming but rather yourpotential. It should not be a depressing exercise, rather, an optimistic view onwhat is to come. The exercise in the previous chapter, Writing Your OwnEulogy, will have given you an opportunity to reflect on the different aspectsof your life. In this exercise I would like you to reflect on these differentaspects and what they mean to you. I also would like you to estimate theapproximate amount of time you currently spend on each aspect, then try toput down, in percentage, the amount of hours you think would be necessaryto live a more happy and balanced life.

HOW MUCH TIME ARE YOU SPENDING FOR:

WORK ___________________

HOBBIES __________________

FRIENDS __________________

FAMILY __________________

HEALTH __________________

EDUCATION _______________

RELIGION _________________

YOURSELF ________________

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HOW MUCH TIME SHOULD YOU SPEND WITH:

WORK ___________________

HOBBIES __________________

FRIENDS __________________

FAMILY __________________

HEALTH __________________

EDUCATION _______________

RELIGION _________________

YOURSELF ________________

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Aim for a balanced life.

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CHAPTER NINE

DON'T EXPECTTOO MUCH FROMOTHERS

Don't expect too much from others and you will never be disappointed. Thischapter has been added to this book thanks to a lazy co-worker of mine. Thisperson whom I will call Jim was very concerned with energy conservation,mostly his own. Unfortunately, because of the nature of the job his lazinesshad a direct influence on the amount of work I was required to do. In severalcases his laziness cost the company money. His attitude and ethics drove mecrazy. At one point a couple co-workers and I approached our supervisor tocomplain. His response was "I knew what he was like before he moved intothe department. I tried to refuse to take him but I had no choice. I tried to getrid of him but was not successful at getting him transferred." This responsemade me even more furious. At the time, I was writing this book and nowherein my book could I find a way to be happy in the presence of this person. Jimmade me so miserable that several times I had second thoughts about writingthis book. I felt that if I couldn't be happy at work, despite Jim, than I shouldnot be writing a book on being happy. I was so fed up that I stoppedexpecting anything from Jim. When I worked with him I didn't expect any helpfrom him. I expected that I would need to work a little harder. After a fewweeks his laziness no longer bothered me because I no longer expectedanything from him. I accepted Jim for who he was. I even started to

understand him and his priorities. My other colleagues continued to let Jimupset them, and they continued making comments about him. At that point, I

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realized that many of Jim's acts of laziness were manufactured by us andthen exaggerated.

NOTHING NEW

If you can adopt this way of thinking you will not be disappointed by otherswhen they dont live up to your expectations. I don't expect people to work ashard as me, or expect people to get as excited about the pictures of mybabies as I do. I don't expect people to be in a good mood all the time, nor doI expect a favor to be returned every time I do one. I don't expect people to begrateful when I help them. Dale Carnegie, who is one of my favorite author,made the comparison in his book, "How To Stop Worrying and Start

Living" when Jesus healed ten lepers. Only one came back and thankedJesus for what he had done. Should we expect any more then what Jesusreceived?

DON'T LET INGRATITUDE RUIN YOUR HAPPINESS.

One cold November morning at 5:00 a.m., I stopped to buy a coffee to drinkon my way to work. At the time, I was trying to quit drinking coffee, but on thisunexpectedly cold morning I yielded to the temptation. About five minutes outof town I was flagged down by a man at the side of the road. I noticed hispick-up truck in the ditch. I pulled over and got out of my truck. His face wascovered with blood due to a head injury. I immediately gave him a cloth so hecould cover his wound and told him to apply pressure. I helped him into mytruck and I drove him to the nearest hospital. On the way to the hospital I kepttalking with the man to make sure he was not going into shock. He told me hehad just come from the coffee shop so I offered him my coffee. He acceptedthe coffee that I had craved so much for. Once at the hospital I waited until

the emergency staff arrived to take over. Once the staff arrived I said goodbye and wished him well. He responded by saying "yah". In the past I wouldhave been so upset that he didn't try to thank me, he didn't even ask me myname so he could thank me later. The whole experience would have been anegative one. With my new mind set the whole experience was now positive. Inever expected to be thanked. In fact it was not until later when I was tellingmy friends what great excitement I had on my way to work that my friendsasked me if the man had even thanked me. It didn't matter to me, I honestlyfelt good about being able to help. I even felt good about sacrificing my

coffee.

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GIVE WITHOUT NEEDING TO BE GIVEN TO

I believe that it is only through giving that we can really be happy. Happinesscomes from having a sense of contributing. When we have a sense ofcontributing in out daily lives to our friends, our work, our society we get atrue feeling of belonging. Think of how much better the whole world would beif people would be more concerned with giving than receiving. The great thingwith this giving outlook is that you never need to concern yourself with yourown needs. If you adopt a giving attitude I guarantee your needs will be takencare of.

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Dont expect to much from others.

If only one out of ten lepers return to thank Jesusshould we expect anything more.

You dont give or help to be thanked, so why let

feelings of ingratitude rob you of feeling happyabout doing good

Give.

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CHAPTER TEN

COUNT YOURBLESSINGS

One hot Sunday afternoon as my family and I sat in the pew at church waitingfor the young priest to start his sermon, beads of sweat rolled off our faces.

He stepped up to the pulpit and gave a sermon on counting your blessing. Hissermon was so perfect, so simple that it stayed with me all these years. Hissermon was so perfect I feel that I should share it with you word for word:"Count your blessings"The priest then turned around and walked back to his seat. Half the churchconsisting of older, more conservative parishioners were appalled, the otherhalf were just glad they didn't have to sit through a long sermon. I, on theother hand, thought it was perfect. We all know we should count ourblessings. And that is that!

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Count your blessings.

Count them frequently.

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

STOP WORRYINGIt is with good reason that I deliberately placed this chapter near the end ofthe book. I am hoping by this point that making a statement like "stopworrying" will not sound so inconceivable. You know by now that you areresponsible for your reactions. Worrying is only a reaction to stress, pressure,etc. You should also know that you should focus on now. This means that youshould not waste your time worrying about what has happened or worryingabout what might happen. Remember not to take yourself so seriously.

To thoroughly cover this topic it would take an entire book. In fact many finebooks have been written on the subject. A book I would highly recommend toanyone, is Dale Carnegie's "How Stop Worrying and Start Living."With theexception of my own book and the Bible no book has changed my life more.In the meantime I will try to bring to you in this short chapter, some of thetechniques that have served me best.

WHY STOP WORRYING?

Before I start writing about techniques that might help you stop worrying Ithink it is important to first remind you of the importance of controlling yourworries. When you think of health problems due to worrying the obvious heartattack and ulcers come to mind. Researchers are discovering that many otherhealth problems can also be related to excessive worrying, such as cancer,respiratory problems and diabetes to name a few. I am strongly convincedthat worrying is probably responsible for more deaths then we may think.There are other areas of health problems that stem from excessive worrying;alcoholism, anorexia, obesity, depression... Excessive worrying may alsocause some cases of insomnia. Insomnia can cause people to get drowsy orfall asleep when they are expected to make decisions that may mean life ordeath. Study's now show that falling asleep when driving causes more

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accidents than drinking and driving. With all of the above mentioned I stronglybelieve that worrying is the biggest killer of North American.

I LEARNED AND SO CAN YOU!

When I was thirteen years old I was definitely a chronic worrier. I would go tobed at about 10 PM and stayed awake until 3 or 4 am worrying. I worriedabout my weight. I would worry about failing at school so much that I almostdid. I would worry about my parents getting a divorce even though I had nevereven heard them argue. I worried about my future and just about everythingelse. When I was sixteen I met my first girlfriend, Rachelle, who is now my

wife. For the first six months I worried about everything. I worried that shemight leave me, that I was not good enough for her. If Rachelle was only tenminutes late to call me I would get so worked up that I would almost be sick. Iknew if I didn't do something about my worrying that I would end up with anulcer before I was seventeen. I had already read Dale Carnegie's book "Howto Win Friends and Influence People"when I saw his book "How To StopWorrying and Start Living". His first book was such a joy to read that I knewhad to read this other one. Shortly after I had started reading the book my lifestarted to change. I literally became a new person. I started falling asleep

faster. I had a more restful sleep and was more relaxed during the day. I feltmore secure with my relationships. Since then I must of read the book at leastfive times from cover to cover and picked it up over 100 times to readspecifics chapters. My wife would probably categorize me as someone whodoesn't worry enough. It is, therefore, possible to stop worrying but it is anongoing battle. We need to be reminded from time to time on the importanceof not worrying and on some of the methods you could use not to worry.Here are some of the methods I use to control my worrying:

METHOD #1: FOCUS ON PREVENTION.

First try to think of a way to prevent what is worrying from ever happening.When I was young I would worry about failing my classes but I never thoughtonce that studying and working hard would guarantee me a good grade. Iwould worry but I never thought of a way to prevent my worries fromhappening. If you worry about getting fired from work, focus on becoming sogood no one would dare to fire you.

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METHOD #2: ACCEPT THE WORST.

If preventing something from happening is beyond my control then I quicklyaccept that fact. Once I know something is beyond my control then I think ofthe worst thing that will happen if my concern does materialize. In most casesthe worst thing that could happen is really not all that bad. I then remindmyself of the quote, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

METHOD # 3: KEEP BUSY.

I do something constructive. In some cases when things are really getting tome I try to make myself as busy as I can. I will work harder and take on newprojects. During the day I don't have time to give my worries much thoughtand by the end of the day I am so exhausted that even if I wanted to stay upall night worrying I couldn't.

METHOD # 4: HONESTY IS STILL THE BEST POLICY.

Stay honest. If you don't cheat on your income tax you never need to worry

about being audited. If you never steal you never need to worry about beingcaught stealing. If you never break the law you don't need to worry about thepolice breaking down your door in the middle of the night. If you never lie younever have to worry about what lie you were telling to who. Sometime we canbe are own worst enemies in the fight against worrying. Do yourself a favorand stay honest.

METHOD # 5: PLAY THE ODDS.

If I look at everything that ever worried, me in my live I find that over 90% ofmy worries have never materialized. Now that I worry less about silly littlethings, about 70% of things I worry about don't materialize. I know my oddsand realize that it is more realistic to think that my worries will probably nothappen.

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POINTS TO REMEMBER.

First realize all the side effects of worrying.

Accept the worst.

Try to prevent.

Keep busy.

Stay honest.

Play the odds.

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CHAPTER TWELVE

TAKE TIME TOREFLECT

KEEP WORKING

By now I hope you understand that happiness is an internal thing. It is up toyou. You are born with all you need to be happy. You don't need moremoney, a nicer car or a fancier stereo to be happy. Being happy is an ongoingtask, you cannot wait for happiness to come to you. You need to work at it. Ihope that as you read this book you find being happy easy. Every time youreview this material I hope you are reminded that you can be happy and thetime to be happy is now. I am hoping that after you began to read from thebook that you approached the remainder of your day with a better frame of

mind. I hope that even if you learned nothing new the book gave you achance to reflect on your priorities in life. If all my hopes were achieved thenmy job was successful. Unfortunately my success alone cannot ensure youlong term happiness. Long term happiness is completely up to you. This iswhy this chapter may be the most important chapter in the book. This chapteris about taking the time to reflect and remind yourself about the importance ofbeing happy. Call this "quiet time," call it "reflection time," call it "meditationtime." It doesn't matter what you call it as long as you do it. Take the time asoften as you can to review your goals, your priorities your "road map".

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MY MEDITATION

The word meditation may conger many images in your mind. You mayvisualize spaced out "hippies" meditating. You may visualize Yogi Flyers. Forme meditation is a time to relax and reflect. I guess I could easily call it "quiettime" or "reflection time," but for me the word, meditation, gives the actionsome kind of special power. There are many good books written on thesubject and I guess my meditation is a combination of many books that I haveread. The book of meditation that probably had the most influence on my styleof meditation is Jose Silva's, "The Silva Mind Control Method". In a singlechapter I cannot hope to give you a detailed study of the art of meditation or

the benefit of lowering your brain wave activity to an alpha state. What I wouldlike to do here is share with you a method that will help you get startedmeditating.

First find a spot where you will not be interrupted. At firstyou may find it necessary to be in a quiet spot but soonthis will not really matter.To make this a habit you should try to do this at the sametime every day. The best time would be when you firstwake up.Read over the exercises in this book (To make this easyyou can transpose your answers to the workbook)Once you know what you would like to meditate about itis now time to get your body relaxed.To achieve this sit down in a comfortable chair or lay flaton your back.Focus on your breathing inhale for as long as you canthen slowly exhale about 5 times.Now for every inhale feel your body getting heavier. I like

to visualize someone pouring warm cement on my toes.Next inhale, then imagine cement is poured on yourcalves.With every other inhale imagine that heaviness or as I,that cement gets added until your eyes are covered. Thiswill give your whole body a real heavy and relaxedfeeling. You know you have done this successfully whenyou feel your body sink into your mattress or chair.At this point you should be feeling completely relaxed. If

your last 3 minutes were fully focused on your breathingand getting heavy the brain wave activity has probablyslowed right down. At this point your brain is in the most

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receptive state for programming. You may now startprogramming your mind to be happy. Visualize yourselfgoing through your day with a smile. Visualize yourselfhandling things the way you would like to be handlingthem.

Once you have visualized yourself as being happy orvisualized anything else, you are ready to bring yourselfout of your meditation.Slowly bring yourself out of your meditation. With everyexhale feel yourself getting lighter. Feel the pressuresand stress leave your body.

This time to yourself is a very important part of staying happy andpositive. It should be done as often as possible. I recommend you dothis once a day preferably when you first thing in the morning. It can beas short as fifteen minutes. It is guaranteed to get your whole day off toa great start with your goals and your priorities freshly in mind. All thepoints in this manual, all your goals are things that you cannot remindyourself of too often.

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Meditate

Meditate often

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Go Ahead Now

Well there you have it, the twelve habits that help me in developing thehappiness habit. I believe that happiness is within the reach of each andevery one of us. We must reach within. We can be happy as quickly as we

can make up our minds to be happy. Our life is the sum of all our days. If wewant the sum of our days to equal happiness lets make happiness a a dailyhabit.

What are Habits?

Dr Stephen Covey (the author of the book "The Seven Habits of HighlyEffective People ")says we need three elements to develop any habit. Thefirst element we need is to want to. Secondly, we need to know how to and

then thirdly, we need to do it. When these three element are present we candevelop any habit.

Want to

When I first started out writing this book I naively believed that this firstelement was a given. I believed that everyone wanted to be happy. The truthis that every one of us from time to time have periods when we don't want to

be happy. Fortunately, if happiness is one of your habits these times comeless frequent then for most people and when they do come the duration isshorter. Unfortunately, some people hardly ever want to be happy. Somepeople love the attention they get when they are upset. They get a feeling ofbeing love when someone takes the time to console them. If you read thebook this far, it is save to assume that you are someone who wants to behappy.

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The How To

I said that when I started writing this book I made the mistake of thinking thateveryone wanted to be happy. I also made another huge mistake when Ithought that I could teach people to be happy. I strongly believed thateveryone wanted to be happy but just needed the knowledge. From the time Istarted writing this book I have been reading everything I can abouthappiness. I thought that I was an expert and that I could teach the world tobe happy. This way of thinking was the single factor that made me give upseveral times on writing this book. Some days I would come home to find myown wife unhappy. This was a person who had proofread the first draft of my

book. A person that I shared all of my believes with. Why couldn't I give hersome words of wisdom that would make here feel better. I would say tomyself. Who am I trying to fool? If I can't teach my own wife to be happy thenhow can I go out and teach anyone else." It was only after giving up aboutthirty times that I finally understood what I meant when I pick the title of thisbook" Go Ahead and Make Your Day". I knew that it was my responsibility tomake it my day. The one thing that I was not getting was that it's not myresponsibility to make other peoples day. They must make their own day. Allthat I can really do is show an example and point people in the right direction.

Do It

This is the part that people have the hardest time with. It requires you to makea conscious decision to be happy on a daily basis. Regardless of the weather,your employer, your customers ... Everything that has been written heremeans nothing unless you do it. Don't waste another month being unhappy.Don't waste another week being unhappy. Don't waste another day.

GO AHEAD AND MAKE YOUR DAY.

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APPENDIX A

GO

AHEAD

MAKE

YOUR

DAYYOUR NOTESYOUR GUIDEYOUR BOOK

ON BEINGHAPPY

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CHAPTER ONE

BECOMING YOUR BEST FRIENDWHAT I NEED IN A BEST FRIEND IS:

IMPORTANT POINTS

Be happy, loving and content with yourself and you will

automatically radiate love and happiness.

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CHAPTER TWOTAKE

RESPONSIBILITYFOR YOURREACTIONSLIST 5 SITUATION THAT YOU WOULD LIKE

ACT DIFFERENTLY IN

1 _______________________________

2 _______________________________

3 _______________________________

4 _______________________________

5 _______________________________

Important Points

Life is a series of actions acting on you.To every action there are several positive reactions.Take full responsibility for your reactions.Once you have selected the right positive reactionvisualize yourself reacting in that manner until it is anautomatic reaction.

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CHAPTER THREE

COMPETING ONLYWITH YOURSELFTHINK OF ONE THING THAT YOU WILL DO BETTER TODAY THENYOU DID YESTERDAY

IMPORTANT POINT

Compete only with yourself.

Enjoy every one of your successes no matter how

small.

Enjoy other people's successes no matter howsmall.

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CHAPTER FOUR

DON'T TAKE YOURSELF TOOSERIOUSLY.THINK OF A GOOD BLOOPER THAT YOU COULD SHARE WITH OTHER.

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________

IMPORTANT POINTS

Don't take yourself so seriously.

Learn to laugh at your bloopers.

Share your bloopers with others.

Take words said to you lightly and with humor.

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CHAPTER FIVE

WELCOMECRITICISM

Points to Remember

Criticism can be helpful

If it was only intended to hurt you try to benefitfrom it anyway.

If you cant find any benefits dont allow your criticthe satisfaction of upsetting you.

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CHAPTER SIX

WRITE YOUR OWNEULOGYWhat would you like your:Spouse to say?

Children to say?

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Friends to say?

Co-workers to say?

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CHAPTER SEVENFOCUS ON NOW

EXERCISE

Write your focus goals:

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Focus on now.

Don't wait for "some day" to be happy.

Learn to focus all your mental abilities on the taskat hand.

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CHAPTER EIGHT

AIM FOR BALANCEHOW MUCH TIME ARE YOU SPENDING FOR:

WORK ___________________

HOBBIES __________________

FRIENDS __________________

FAMILY __________________

HEALTH __________________

EDUCATION _______________

RELIGION _________________

YOURSELF ________________

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HOW MUCH TIME SHOULD

WORK ___________________

HOBBIES __________________

FRIENDS __________________

FAMILY __________________

HEALTH __________________

EDUCATION _______________

RELIGION _________________

YOURSELF ________________

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Aim for a balanced life.

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CHAPTER NINE

DON'T EXPECTTOO MUCH FROMOTHERS

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Dont expect to much from others.

If only one out of ten lepers return to thankJesus should we expect anything more.

You dont give or help to be thanked, sowhy let feelings of ingratitude rob you offeeling happy about doing good

Give.

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CHAPTER TEN

COUNT YOURBLESSINGS

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Count your blessings..Count them frequently.

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CHAPTER ELEVEN

STOP WORRYINGPOINTS TO REMEMBER.

First realize all the side effects of worrying.

Accept the worst.

Try to prevent.

Keep busy.

Stay honest.

Play the odds.

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CHAPTER TWELVE

TAKE TIME TOREFLECT

POINTS TO REMEMBER

Meditate

Meditate daily

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