Between The Sheets

06 Community Calendar05 Seriously w/Camey09 Pro Tips15 Event Calendar17 Music Notes

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Camey LaraEditor 806-231-9822camey@edgemonthly.com

Eric MuehlhausenSenior AdvertisingExecutive806-433-6289eric@edgemonthly.com

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What has happened to the music lately? Is it me or wasn’t it good at one point? I mean seriously, half the time I don’t even know what they are talking about…I mean I know what they are saying but the verbiage is

horrible; who says, “Toot it and boot it”? The new songs coming out and the new artists just don’t do it for me. I know I sound like my parents or grand-parents saying “Kids these days listen to nothing but racket.” But my

comments aren’t just part of the typical generational disconnect that keeps older people from appreciating the novel, creative music teenagers listen to. I

really believe that music is objectively worse than it used to be.

The turn of the Millennium brought with it what I call the “flash and trash” entertainment mentality in our culture. Whereas being a superstar used to be about raw talent, today it is all about using good looks and bright colors to disguise the fact that you can’t play an instrument or sing worth a damn. While there are a couple of solid musicians tossed into the mix, I can probably count on one-hand artists that have had any stay-ing power at all. I know you are thinking she is just a person who voices her opinion once a month in a maga-zine so who is she is say what is good or not? Well I am a consumer, a parent and an avid music listener so I am telling it like I “hear” it.

It seems like in the decades before this one we were inundated with brilliant, diverse and fun talent from every part of the globe – Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, George Michael, the Go-Go’s, Blondie, Billy Joel, and Eric Clapton; Devo, REM, U2 and Nirvana; Queen, Van Halen, Journey and Poison, Def Lep-pard, Aerosmith, Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne, Run DMC and Public Enemy. Need I go on? Oh and yes, I am a product of the 80’s.

Whether you liked their music or not, you have to admit that these musicians were all talented and distinctive. They had highly developed musical and lyrical skills and their own sense of style and humor. Remember the Michael Jackson glove and Madonna’s punky headbands? Do you remember learning “We Are the World” in sign language at school and getting yelled at by your teacher for imitating the Cyndi Lauper line?

These artists were talented and memorable. They appealed to an enormous audience that included people of all different ages and backgrounds. Now, you can line up the Top-40 singers and they are like interchangeable bobble heads. The aver-age person on the street can’t name more than two or three songs that have come out recently. By average, I don’t mean the lovesick teenagers who are caught up in “Justin Biebers” of today.

Where is the Cyndi Lauper of our generation? If she doesn’t appear soon, I’m going to dye my hair pink and start singing. As painful as that would be for everyone, it can’t be that much more painful than the crap we have to listen to all the time. “Kids these days, their music is nothing but racket.”

What has happened too the music laI don’t even know what they are ta

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cold

really believe

The turn of the Millennium bour culture. Whereas being a superbright colors to disguise the fact thacouple of solid musicians tossed inting power at all. I know you are thinzine so who is she is say what is gootelling it like I “hear” it.

It seems like in the decades before thpart of the globe – Prince, Madonna,Billy Joel, and Eric Clapton; Devo, Rpard, Aerosmith, Metallica, Ozzy Osproduct of the 80’s.

Community Calendar

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 510:00AM-6:00PMCHRISTMAS ROUNDUPAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERSOUTH EXHIBIT HALL

7:30PMGOLDEN DRAGON ACROBATSGLOBE NEWS CENTER$18.00 -$38.00 PER PERSON

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 610:00AM-6:00PMCHRISTMAS ROUNDUPAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERSOUTH EXHIBIT HALL

10:00AM-5:00PMGEM & MINERAL SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTER

4:00PM-9:00PMHEAD TO TOE EXPOAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERHERITAGE ROOM

6:30PMTHE ANNUAL HUNT DINNERBOTANICAL GARDENS OF AMARILLO$50.00 PER PERSON

7:00PM-10:00PMFREEDOM FUND BANQUETAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERGRAND PLAZA

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 710:00AM-5:00PMGEM & MINERAL SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTER

12:00AM-5:00PMCHRISTMAS ROUNDUPAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERSOUTH EXHIBIT HALL

3:00PM-5:00PMAMARILLO SYMPHONY

YOUTH ORCHESTRA CONCERTGLOBE NEWS CENTER

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 96:30PMFRIENDS OF CETA CANYON DINNERST STEPHENS CHURCH$50.00 PER PERSON

7:00PMALZHEIMERS:WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOWWESTHEIMER PRESBYTERIAN CHURCHFREE TO ATTEND

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 106:00PM-10:00PMWRCA KICKOFF CELEBRATIONAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERHERITAGE ROOM

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 111:00PM-8:00PMWRCA TRADE SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

7:00PMWRCA RANCH RODEOAMARILLO CIVIC CENTER COLISEUM$14.00-$22.00 PER PERSON

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 129:00AM-8:00PMWRCA TRADE SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

7:00PMWRCA RANCH RODEOAMARILLO CIVIC CENTER COLISEUM

7:00PMAPOLLO 13 & WTAMU

CENTENNIAL CONVOCATIONFIRST UNITED BANK CENTER

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 139:00AM-8:00PMWRCA TRADE SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

9:00AM-2:00PMCAMP WILDFIREPANHANDLE PLAINS HISTORICAL MUSEUMFOR AGES 8-14$25.00 TO ATTEND

11:00AM-1:00PMWELCOME VETERANS EVENTAMARILLO VA- FRONT LAWNFREE TO ATTEND

7:00PMWRCA RANCH RODEOAMARILLO CIVIC CENTER COLISEUM

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 1411:00AM-6:00PMWRCA TRADE SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

2:00PMWRCA RANCH RODEOAMARILLO CIVIC CENTER COLISEUM$18.00-$26.00 PER PERSON

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 168:00AM-3:00PMEMPOWER YOURSELFAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERHERITAGE ROOM

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 186:30PM- 9:00PMTHIRD THURSDAY

AMARILLO MUSEUM OF ARTFREE TO ATTEND

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 197:00PM-10:00PMAMARILLO BULLS VS WICHITA FALLSAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERCOLISEUM$10.00-$16.00 PER PERSON

8:00PMBRIAN REGANAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERAUDITORIUM$37.50 PER PERSON

8:00PMAMARILLO SYMPHONY“BRAVO BROADWAY”GLOBE NEWS CENTER$17.00-$50.00 PER PERSON

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 2010:00AM-6:00PMARTISTRY IN WOODAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERREGENCY ROOM

7:00PM-10:00PMAMARILLO BULLS VS WICHITA FALLSAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERCOLISEUM$10.00-$16.00 PER PERSON

7:00PM-11:30PMNUTCRACKER BALLAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERHERITAGE ROOM

8:00PMAMARILLO SYMPHONY“BRAVO BROADWAY”GLOBE NEWS CENTER$17.00-$50.00 PER PERSON

November 2010

Community Calendar November 2010

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 2110:00AM-5:00PMARTISTRY IN WOODAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERREGENCY ROOM

MONDAY NOVEMBER 225:30PM-9:00PMPOLK STREET UNITED METHODIST CHURCH 150TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATIONAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERGRAND PLAZA

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 236:00AM-8:30PMCOMMUNITY PRAYER BREAKFASTAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERN. EXHIBIT HALL

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 277:30PMOAK RIDGE BOYS CHRISTMAS SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERAUDITORIUM$38.00 OR $46.00 PER PERSON

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 309:00AM-5:00PMFARM & RANCH SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 19:00AM-5:00PMFARM & RANCH SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

THURSDAY DECEMBER 29:00AM-4:00PMFARM & RANCH SHOWAMARILLO CIVIC CENTERMULTIPLE ROOMS

9:30AM, 10:45, & 1:00PMAMARILLO SYMPHONY KINDERKONZERTSGLOBE NEWS CENTER

8:00PM“IS HE DEAD?”AMARILLO LITTLE THEATRE$17.00 PER PERSON

FRIDAY DECEMBER 36:00PM-8:00PMCENTER CITY LIGHT PARADE10TH & POLK

8:00PM“IS HE DEAD?”AMARILLO LITTLE THEATRE$19.00 PER PERSON

SATURDAY DECEMBER 410:00AM-11:30AMCHRISTMAS WORKSHOPAMARILLO MUSEUM OF ARTFOR CHILDREN 4-10$20.00 TO ATTEND

10:00AM-9:00PMBOOK FAIR BENEFITINGCATHOLIC FAMILY SERVICESBARNES & NOBLE ON SONCY

Pro TipsPro Tips

As the seasons are passing, I can’t help but to see the need for more fashion hair tips. For example, I went to the mall around the Halloween season. As I was standing behind Elvira, staring into a ten foot, teased up birds nest, I thought to myself, “wow, what a costume!” Then she turned around and to my surprise, she was not in a costume, this was her everyday look, which along with the bird’s nest, included the calico-colored chunks and a dash of platinum through the bangs. Long is definitely in right now, but it needs to be long, wavy layers or straight, sleek layers. It’s all good if it is done right.

As for the shorter styles, now the sex pistols ruled back in the day, but some styles were not meant to be duplicated, and if you do try to pull it off it is definitely an age appropriate thing. You don’t want to end up looking like Keith Richards. Use some

quality product and don’t try so hard; messy should be easy. If

your stylist is up on things, none of this should be news to you.

If you score a same-day appoint-ment, or an immediate walk-in

appointment, it is not likely that you will leave with a precise cut and a

kick-ass style. Staying up on things is very important, so establishing a good

relationship with a seasoned stylist who contin-ues to stay up to date with the trends is a must. So once again, here are some tips:

• Never expect same day booking• Never expect a discount• Never allow your kids to run around like a bunch of wild animals in the salon• Never make the habit of standing up appointments or last minute cancellations (not good)• Ask before post-dating your check• The more pleasant the visit, the more successful your experience will be• Make sure your stylist is okay with you bringing pictures of what you want; ask first• Product is not just for the stylist to make some change. Product should be looked at in the same way you would look at a skillet when cooking; without the skillet there will be no fabulous dish to serve, in the same way, without hair product there will be no fabulous hair style. Unless you are okay with that

greasy, dandruff, flat to your head look. You know the look that says you are still waiting for Nirvana to release their next album? You get the idea

Color; turning to darker shades are always good for fall and winter. Someone to do it correctly is very important. Like I have said before, a good stylist is a must. So if you have one, great! If you don’t, find one! Be patient and follow some of the above tips, and as they say, the rest is history.

What is happening in most salons is long & natural. If it is short use a lot of texture & be easy on styling. All in between should have a soft look. And remem-ber the older you get, wearing softer and lighter colors are always a big help. This will be good for complexions and lines on the face. Blow drying and styling should be easy and at least slightly fun. This is where product knowledge kicks in.

So if you down on your hair luck, do a little research. There is a kick-ass stylist around the corner.

P.S.By the way, don’t get impatient and bail on your stylist just because they are becoming busy. That is called success, be supportive.

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FRIDAY NOVEMBER 5 NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- B-MANS KAROAKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEGOLDEN LIGHT- KAT MOOREHOOTS- ELEVEN HUNDRED SPRINGSWESTERN HORSEMAN- RAIZIN KANEMIDNIGHT RODEO- CORY MORROWFRIENDZ- DA BOOGIE MENEBGS- SCENIC RIVER BANDBUTLERS- ON AGAIN

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 6NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- DJ TRA-CDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEFREINDZ- B-MAN KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKEGOLDEN LIGHT- DARYL FELSBERG COMEDYWESTERN HORSEMAN- RAZIN KANEEBGBS- BI POLAR ECHOBUTLERS- DJ GEMINIOHANAS- CHASIN DAISIES

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 7BAILEY- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- OPEN MIC NIGHT

FRIENDZ- B-MANS KARAOKEWESTERN HORSEMAN- TEJANO NIGHTS

MONDAY NOVEMBER 8WHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKEWINGSTREET ON GEORGIA- B-MANS KARAOKE

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 9ROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOETHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWINGSTREET I-40 & COULTER- B-MANS KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKE575 PIZZERIA- ANDY CHASE

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 10NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTCACTUS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERY SALOON- B-MANS KARAOKE

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 11DUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAHOOTS- BOBBY MCCAULEYPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERYS- B MAN KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEMULLIGANS- FREE POKER TOURNAMENTSTHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWILDCARD- KARAOKERUNAWAY HOG- B-MANS KARAOKEVFW POST- KICKSHICKERSLEALS- ANDY CHASEWESTERN HORSEMAN- BUSTER BLEDSOEBUTLERS- DELLA PROJECT

Your Night Life Survival GuidePull Out Section

Your Night Life Survival GuideFRIDAY NOVEMBER 12 NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- B-MANS KAROAKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEWESTERN HORSEMAN- BUSTER BLEDSOEMIDNIGHT RODEO- BRANDON RHYDERD’VINE WINE- ANDY CHASEEBGBS- TROUBADOURS OF FUNKBUTLERS- TORI & MATT

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 13NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- DJ TRA-CDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEFREINDZ- B-MAN KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJ

CP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKEWEATERN HORSEMAN- BUSTER BLEDSOEHOOTS- FLYING ELBOWSEBGBS- CLYDE JENKYNS BANDBUTLERS- LUKE WHALEY

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 14BAILEY- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- OPEN MIC NIGHTFRIENDZ- B-MANS KARAOKEWESTERN HORSEMAN- TEJANO NIGHTMIDNIGHT RODEO- EASTON CORBINCLUB CHAOS- VADIM VON

MONDAY NOVEMBER 15WHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKEWINGSTREET ON GEORGIA- B-MANS KARAOKE

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 16ROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOETHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWINGSTREET I-40 & COULTER- B-MANS KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKE575 PIZZERIA- ANDY CHASEWAR LEGION- NO BRAGGING RIGHTS

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 17NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTCACTUS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERY SALOON- B-MANS KARAOKE

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 18DUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAHOOTS- BOBBY MCCAULEYPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERYS- B MAN KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEMULLIGANS- FREE POKER TOURNAMENTSTHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWILDCARD- KARAOKERUNAWAY HOG- B-MANS KARAOKEVFW POST- KICKSHICKERSLEALS- ANDY CHASED’VINE WINE- BRENTWOOD ROCKERS

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 19 NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- B-MANS KAROAKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEGOLDEN LIGHT- SHANE ROGERS LOWERYS SALOON- MIKE CHISM & HOLLOW POINTHOOTS- ELECTRIC GYPSIESEBGBS- RAY WILSONWAR LEGION- PSYCROPTIC, KEEP OF KALLESSINMIDNIGHT RODEO- KYLE PARKD’VINE WINE- YVONNE PEREABUTLERS- UNION STREET

Your Night Life Survival Guide

www.edgemonthly.com

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 20NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- DJ TRA-CDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEFREINDZ- B-MAN KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKEGOLDEN LIGHT- RODNEY PARKER & 50 PESO REWARDLOWERYS SALOON- MIKE CHISM & HOLLOW POINTHOOTS- ELECTRIC GYPSIESD’VINE WINE- LARRY & AMY MARTINEBGBS- AGES OF ARROGANCEBUTLERS- DJ GEMINIOHANAS- CHASIN DAISIES

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 21BAILEY- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- OPEN MIC NIGHTFRIENDZ- B-MANS KARAOKEWESTERN HORSEMAN- TEJANO NIGHTMIDNIGHT RODEO- ALIEN ANT FARM

MONDAY NOVEMBER 22WHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKEWINGSTREET ON GEORGIA- B-MANS KARAOKE

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 23ROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOETHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWINGSTREET I-40 & COULTER- B-MANS KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKE575 PIZZERIA- ANDY CHASEOHANAS- ADA COAT DRIVE/

DART TOURNAMENT

WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 24NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTCACTUS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERY SALOON- B-MANS KARAOKE

THURSDAY NOVEMBER 25DUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAHOOTS- BOBBY MCCAULEYPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERYS- B MAN KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEMULLIGANS- FREE POKER TOURNAMENTSTHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWILDCARD- KARAOKERUNAWAY HOG- B-MANS KARAOKE

VFW POST- KICKSHICKERSLEALS- ANDY CHASEEBGBS- CODY JASPER

FRIDAY NOVEMBER 26 NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- B-MANS KAROAKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEROUNDERS- BUSTER BLEDSOEMIDNIGHT RODEO- FRED ANDREWS & HONEY BROWND’VINE WINE- SCOTT NELSONEBGBS- TROUBADOURS OF FUNKBUTLERS- DJ BAT

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Your Night Life Survival Guide

www.edgemonthly.com

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 27NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- DJ TRA-CDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEFREINDZ- B-MAN KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKEHOOTS- TOMMY GALLAGHERROUNDERS- BUSTER BLEDSOEEBGBS- FLEWID G & DJ GRAVITYBUTLERS- DJ GEMINI

SUNDAY NOVEMBER 28BAILEY- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- OPEN MIC NIGHTFRIENDZ- B-MANS KARAOKEWESTERN HORSEMAN- TEJANO NIGHT

MONDAY NOVEMBER 29WHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKEWINGSTREET ON GEORGIA- B-MANS KARA-OKE

TUESDAY NOVEMBER 30ROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOETHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWINGSTREET I-40 & COULTER- B-MANS KARAOKEWHISKERS LOUNGE- B-MANS KARAOKE575 PIZZERIA- ANDY CHASE

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 1NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAROUNDERS- DJ ELEMENTCACTUS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERY SALOON- B-MANS KARAOKE

THURSDAY DECEMBER 2 DUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAHOOTS- BOBBY MCCAULEYPINE SHED- KARAOKELOWERYS- B MAN KARAOKEWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEMULLIGANS- FREE POKER TOURNAMENTSTHE DUGOUT- KARAOKEWILDCARD- KARAOKERUNAWAY HOG- B-MANS KARAOKE

VFW POST- KICKSHICKERSLEALS- ANDY CHASE

FRIDAY DECEMBER 3 NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- B-MANS KAROAKEDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJCP’S SPORT BAR- KARAOKEGOLDEN LIGHT- BAND OF HEATHENS & JD NEWBURYSKOOTERZ- KARMA

SATURDAY DECEMBER 4 NO DOGS ALLOWED- KARAOKESASSYS- DJ TRA-CDUKE TRACYS- SONGBIRD KARAOKE W/LINDAWHISKEY RIVER- KARAOKE JOEBAILEYS- KARAOKEPINE SHED- KARAOKEFREINDZ- B-MAN KARAOKECACTUS- KARAOKETHE DUGOUT- LIVE DJ

Ah, karaoke. From the mind of a Japanese musician who was full of great ideas, karaoke is the post-work/party/bar activity for those of us looking to mingle, network, or meet the opposite sex, all in a shame-free, mostly tone deaf environment.

And so we find ourselves in strip malls, in karaoke bars, in Byzantine corri-dors leading to personal soundproof rooms, singing our lungs out and loving every minute of it.Until, of course, we’re sick of it.

And that’s why every karaoke excursion needs a Mariano Rivera, a Dennis Eckersley, a Kyra Sedgwick. A “Closer.” Someone who can shut the party down, whether by force or pure epic-ness.

Maybe everyone’s three sheets to the wind and it’s not nearly as funny as it was three sojus ago. Maybe you’d like some non-karaoke alone time with the girl who’s leaving town first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s the fact that you and your buddy swore to go into work on Saturday to finish that presen-tation, and if you don’t get him out of here now, you won’t hear from him

until Tuesday on a collect call from a Filipino prison.

However it happens, it’s up to you to be a Karaoke

Closer. Here are a few

time-

tested songs to get you out of whatever situation arises.

Sobering Up the Revelers It’d be easier if drinking and loud singing didn’t go together so well. But you’ve got to remember this: if police officers see you driving happily home at about 3:00 am, it’s their job to assume that you’re drunk. And if they had heard your stirring rendition of Annie Lenox’s “No More I Love You’s” twenty minutes earlier, they’d know you were.

Therefore, it’s an imperative to sober up not only yourself but the whole karaoke crowd before the inevitable volley of “I can drive’s” is met with the equally inevitable inability to properly split the bill. Here’s some songs that could wake the dead, much less your friend who’s been politely sipping from a flask of Jim Beam for most of the night.(And let me throw in a reminder here that while singing these songs will shake everyone from their stupor, it’s always a good idea to just get a cab. The shame of having to go get your car from the parking garage in the morning will wash off. Prison shame rarely washes off, though they even mockingly provide showers for you.)

Motorhead – “Ace of Spades” – This song is like watching two trains plow towards each other, but right before the thunderous crash they rise up, pull out machine guns, and go at each other like it’s the bank shootout scene in “Heat.” Right before they start beating each other with chains. Inside a trash compactor. It will wake up the dead, much less the drunk.

Acceptable second choice/follow-up – Eric Clapton – “Tears in Heaven” Sobriety achieved.

Song for a SirenSo, you’ve been trading eye contact, shy smiles, and rounds of drinks with the lovely lady from out of town. And, of course, she’s leaving tomorrow morning. Time to make your move, but why do it in plain old speaking when you can do it in song?

Prince – “Purple Rain” – This is a major league karaoke song. Pull this off and no woman can resist your charm. Don’t believe me? Just ask Prince. He’ll tell you. He is his own aphrodisiac. But seriously, Purple Rain is a karaoke masterpiece (see below).

Barely comparable second choice - Meatloaf – “I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)” – If you’re here, it must be because you are saving “Purple Rain” for the wedding (or later – again, see below). Meatloaf, then, will have to suffice. It’s simple – select song, grab two mics, give her your most charming smile and say “this is a duet.” Who cares if she - or you - can’t sing? If you both make it through “…will you hose me down with holy water/ if I get too hot?...” with an equal amount of humor and self-deprecation or overemoting, you know all you need to about her. Just get married already.

How to be a Karaoke Closer

Last CallMaybe this wasn’t the best idea. You realized that everyone was excited about karaoke, but didn’t know that it would go this far. There was just a group singalong to The New Radicals. No, this isn’t going to work. THIS IS A THURSDAY NIGHT. You’ve got to get up tomorrow and you didn’t drive. Time to take charge.

Try this: “Okay, okay, you’ve all had your fun. Now let’s go. No? You’re going to keep singing? Fine. Hand me that book of songs and be prepared to have your fun crushed.” This will require a trio of songs that, rather than bringing everyone down, will make them regret ever doing karaoke on a week night. With you. Tonight, you are the destructor. You are Shiva. You are permanently unin-vited.

Alanis Morissette – “Uninvited” – Quelle chance. No one likes this song. Not even Alanis Morissette. Eyebrows will be raised.

Zager and Evans – “In the Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)” – This is probably the longest three minutes and fifteen seconds you will ever have to live through. More importantly, it’s definitely the longest 3:15 the people listening to you sing it will ever live through. Sample lyric – “In the year 4545, you ain’t gonna need your teeth, won’t need your eyes….” At this point, there may be audible groans from the audience. Ignore them. Keep your eyes on the prize.

Barenaked Ladies – “One Week” – Who brought you? You should both leave now, while they’re still only lighting the torches.Remember to tip the MC.

Walkoff HomerunBut maybe it’s been an excellent night of carousing and harmonizing and now it’s time to make your grand exit. Don’t worry, we’ve got that covered as well. Call it “the Walkoff Homerun.” You swing, you connect, you meet your teammates back at home base. WIN-NING.

Boyz 2 Men – “Motownphilly” – Grab the crew. Select song. Choose a designated rapper. Harmonize. Croon. Soak in praise. Drop mic.

Bell Biv Devoe – “Poison” – Grab the crew. Select song. Choose a designated rapper. Choose a designated “Never trust a big butt and a smile!”-er. Soak in praise. Drop the mic.

Prince – “Purple Rain” – No, seriously. It’s that good. Solo this one. Kind of lose it on one of the choruses. Recover. Soak in praise. Take mic home, as you have now retired it.So there you have it. A few foolproof ways to be the Karaoke Closer you always knew you could be. Step up to the microphone with the confidence that no matter the situation, you always know the right song to sing.

Just no more Journey, for God’s sake.

It's a long way off, but Jon Bon Jovi is already hatching plans for August, after he and his band wrap up touring in support of their 2009 album, "The Circle," and a "Greatest Hits" set that comes out Nov. 9.

"I'm going to sit on a beach for August, which is usually what I do, and come September figure out what's next," Bon Jovi tells Billboard.com. Some possibilities? "A smaller-sounding solo record and/or focus more on the philanthropy and sports ownerships," he says. "I don't see any acting in the immediate future. It'll be out of the political cycles, and there's nothing else I wish I could do. I'm not a coulda, shoulda, woulda kind of guy. If I wanted to do it, I tried it, so it's not like I have any hidden desire to become a chef or anything." If he does take the solo album route, Bon Jovi -- who went it alone on the 1990 soundtrack for "Blaze of Glory -- Young Guns II" and on 1997's "Destination Anywhere" -- predicts he'll go for "a lyric-driven, acoustic-sounding kind of thing with piano, a couple guitars, a B3 (organ) and a violin. I do these solo things oftentimes for charity, and I enjoy the atmosphere because it really gives the singer a chance to sing. You're not competing with the loud amps. So I could see myself doing a singer's type of a record. We'll see." Before that, however, comes quite a bit of Bon Jovi group activity. The "Greatest Hits" album comes out in two different configurations -- a standard 16-song single disc and a two-disc "Greatest Hits -- Ultimate Collection," with five new songs spread across the various domestic and international editions. The project was first broached to follow 2007's "Lost Highway," but was pushed back when Bon Jovi and guitarist Richie Sambora came up with a batch of topical new songs for "The Circle."

"While we're in the midst of 'The Circle' tour, this 'Greatest Hits' made the most sense," Bon Jovi explains, "because the tour's going to continue through the summer of next year. For those who have just found the band in this rather prolific decade, this is a great introduction, and for the fan who's been there the last three decades, this is everything you've ever known and then five new songs. So I feel like they're getting value added, too." Bon Jovi says two of the new songs, the single "What Do You Got?" and "This Is Love, This Is Life," were started during "The Circle" sessions but didn't fit the album and were finished for "Greatest Hits," along with "This Our House," an MP3 download premium for those pre-ordering the album. The other two, "No Apologies" and "The More Things Change," were written specifically for the compilation.

Bon Jovi Mulls Solo Album After 'Circle' Tour Wraps

He says he was surprised that "What Do You Got?" got the nod to be the first single. "I said, 'If anyone wants to pick a single, you tell me. What do I know?' "recalls Bon Jovi, who favored "No Apologies." "That was the one that floated to the top, and I was taken aback because it was the (last) of the five I would've picked. But people have really been relating to the lyric, and seemingly for...radio, it's a hit." Bon Jovi has a number of appearances and events lined up in conjunction with the release of "Greatest Hits." On Nov. 7, the group will perform at the MTV Europe Music Awards in Madrid, where it will receive the inaugural Global Icon Award. The next night will see the premiere of "One Night Only," a concert film from May's opening run at the New Meadowlands Stadium in New Jersey, at 750 movie theaters worldwide. They'll appear Nov. 9 on CBS' "The Late Show with David Letter-man," along with a webcast concert that will stream on the show's website and Vevo.com, followed by a monthlong run that includes the "Today" show, A&E's "Private Sessions," the American Music Awards, "Ellen," "Larry King Live" and "CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute."

Bon Jovi resumes "The Circle" tour on Nov. 30 in Tokyo and hits Aus-tralia and New Zealand before a six-leg North American leg starts in February. The band then wraps things up in Europe during June and July, including a show at the Hard Rock Calling festival on June 25 in Lon-don's Hyde Park.

Dwight Howard may be the NBA's Superman, but when it comes to making music, he'll admit to having at least one flaw. "I'm not good at rapping, I'll say that," he says. "But singing, I can hold a note. I'm pretty good. If I had to sing in front of a big crowd, I don't think I'd be that shy." There's nothing timid about the Orlando Magic star's musical CD debut. This week, as the league opened the NBA season, he released "Shoot for the Stars," a CD for kids that has the center singing songs by Michael Jackson, Harry Belafonte and the Black Eyed Peas and even rapping MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This."

By releasing a CD, Howard follows in the footsteps of NBA stars like Ron Artest and the league's original Superman, Shaquille O'Neal, who has a platinum disc to go along with his championship rings. Howard says he didn't intend to follow their path. "I didn't want to do the normal thing with everybody getting an album and all that stuff," he says. "I always wanted to have a production company, being involved in music, but not as far as me singing or rapping or doing any of that stuff." But he got more interested when he found out a portion of the funds from the CD, put out by Razor & Tie's Kidz Bop series, would go to the BETA center, a foundation dedicated to supporting families in Orlando, Fla. That's

why most of the songs are either upbeat or uplifting, he said. "All of the songs are very inspirational, just being together, being a family, things that bring people together," he says. "Its just inspiring kids to do more, be more and dream big." The CD has at least one fan in his toddler son: "He wants to dance, so I just try and play music that he can dance to," Howard says. Howard has already played the album for a couple of teammates and said he got positive feedback. But he knows he's in for a ribbing if the songs ever get played during a game at the Amway Center. "I know the first time my teammates hear it in a time-out or something like that, they're gonna laugh," Howard says. "It's going to be weird." Still, Howard can see himself performing in front of the crowd, and perhaps even doing the national anthem - though not the one you think. "For some reason, I like to sing the Canadian national anthem," he says. "I think I sound better singing that one."

NBA's Dwight Howard Tries to Score with Kids Album

Trans-Siberian Orchestra is gearing up for its annual holiday tour, but founder Paul O'Neill is still eyeballing the group's impending move to Broadway. O'Neill tells Billboard.com that he and his creative partners have two rock musicals in the works for the Great White Way. "Romanov: What Kings Must Whisper," a rock opera about the Russia's Bolshevik Revolution in 1918, is "the furthest along, just because it's completely written and scored and ready to go." "Romanov" was actually supposed to be TSO's first album in 1994, he says, "but a number of people who have a lot of credibility on Broadway heard it and said it's too good to just go and do a record. It should be a Broadway musical, and I always wanted to take on Broadway, so we pulled it back." Also on tap is "Gutter Ballet," which O'Neill started as a 1989 album for the group Savatage. He and Savatage frontman Jon Oliva plan to "rewrite some songs" from the original album. "We used some of the themes on other projects already," O'Neill notes, "but we won't do the same song in two different rock operas." There's no hard and fast deadline for either endeavor to hit the stage, but O'Neill says that in both cases TSO will release an album before the production opens. "We'll do the opposite of the normal Broadway thing," he explains. "Usually a musical goes up on Broadway and then they release the cast album. We're going to release the album and then go on Broadway." Before anything happens, though, O'Neill says he has to "find the right voice to go with the right character," a pains-

taking process that sometimes takes a back seat to TSO's touring concerns. "My biggest problem is simply time," he says with a laugh. "I need to get one of those magical stopwatches where time freezes and I can play catchup. But after we finish the winter tour, technically we have January off. So we're going to take a look and figure out where to concentrate our forces and where to concentrate the talent and what to do next." TSO's winter tour kicks off Nov. 3 with companies in Youngstown, Ohio, and Omaha, Neb., and wraps Dec. 30 in St. Louis and Auburn Hills, Mich. The troupe's 2009 jaunt drew more than 1.2 million fans, grossing nearly $45 million. A special vinyl release of TSO's latest album, 2009's "Night Castle," is on tap for release in the U.S., while "Beethoven's Last Night" is due out in Europe, restoring 90 pages of poetry that had to be dropped from the CD booklet when it was originally issued in 2000. O'Neill is also prepping for TSO's first European tour, which begins in mid-March with dates in Germany and Austria. "Honestly, I'm really nervous about that tour," O'Neill says. "About 40 people came over and reviewed the band last year in preparation, and we got banner headlines like, 'Enough pyro to barbecue an entire school of blue whales,' and it just got better from there, and I was like, 'Whoa...' Buzz is a good thing, but it's also a scary thing because you have to live up to the hype, and you don't want to let the audiences down. So we have our work cut out for us."

Trans-Siberian OrchestraTrans-Siberian Orchestra Working on Two Broadway 'Rock Operas' Working on Two Broadway 'Rock Operas'

The Foo Fighters will release a new album next year that features special help from singer Dave Grohl's old Nirvana bandmate, bassist Krist Novoselic, the frontman revealed to BBC Radio 1. The as-yet-untitled set, which would be the group's seventh studio album, is also being helmed by "Nevermind" producer Butch Vig. Grohl told Radio 1 host Zane Lowe that he and his bandmates have spent the last month and a half "recording in my garage, totally old school analog," and that the group has finished seven songs thus far. "This whole project has been really cool. I haven't made a record with Butch for 20 years," he said. The as-yet-untitled album will be the Foos' first since 2007's "Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace," which earned a Grammy nod for album of the year and moved 889,000 units, according the Nielsen SoundScan. Afterwards, the band went on hiatus as Grohl focused on his drumming duties for Them Crooked Vultures, his hard-rock supergroup with Led Zeppelin's John Paul Jones and Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age. During Foo Fighters' downtime, a "Greatest Hits" album was issued in Nov. 2009 and has since sold 333,000 copies. Although their new album is incomplete, Foo Fighters have already announced two U.K. stadium shows at Buckinghamshire's Milton Keynes Bowl for July 2-3, 2011. Biffy Clyro, Death Cab For Cutie and

Jimmy Eat World have been tapped as openers for the shows. "I know the record and I can't wait 'til everyone else hears it," Grohl said. "Foo Fighter fans are going to freak out because honestly, it's awesome." The band also plans to release a film that captures it in the studio. "Basically 2011 you're not gonna be able to get us out of your hair, that's what we're planning," Grohl said.

Foo Fighters Return, Dave Grohl Recruits Krist Novoselic