Effective Effective CommunicationCommunication

Definition of CommunicationDefinition of Communication

Clearly conveying and receiving messages to meet the needs of all parties involved.

Communication BarriersCommunication Barriers

•Lack of skills•Strong emotions•Indecision•Environment

Leadership and Leadership and Effective CommunicationEffective Communication

A: Pretend to listenwait for arguments

you can use for your own argument

push your opinion through on how to do things.

B: Listen to othersFilter the important

partsDiscover the

underlying assumptions and synergize those to win-win situations.

Leadership andLeadership andEffective CommunicationEffective Communication

The choice is yours and only YOU areresponsible for the consequences of your

choice

Communication StylesCommunication Styles

Aggressive PassiveAssertive

Assertive people are effective communicators.

Assertive people can…Assertive people can…

• Express their own thoughts, feelings and needs clearly• Make reasonable requests of other people

(While accepting their right to say 'no')• Stand up for their own rights• Say 'no' to requests from others at times,

without feeling guilty.

4 Steps in Communication4 Steps in Communication

•Leveling•Listening•Validating•‘I’ statement

Are you a good listener?Are you a good listener?

R - S - A I allow speakers to complete their sentences.

R - S - A I make sure I understand the other person's point of view before responding.

R - S - A I listen for the important points.

R - S - A I try to understand the speaker's feelings.

R - S - A I visualize my response before speaking.

R - S - A I visualize the solution before speaking.

R - S - A I am in control, relaxed, calm when listening.

R - S - A I use listening noises (hum, gee, I see, oh....). R - S - A I take notes when someone else is speaking.

R - S - A I listen even if the other person is not interesting.

R - S - A I listen even though I don't like that person but I am interested in what he has to say.

R - S - A I look into the eyes of the person speaking.R - S - A I am patient when listening.R - S - A I ask questions to make sure I understand.R - S - A I have no distractions when listening.

R - S - A I don't refer his sayings to my personal background while listening.

Are you a good listener?Are you a good listener?

Answer Key – How many A’s?Answer Key – How many A’s?

14-16 You are excellent!

13-11 You are good - but need help in a few areas.

10-7 You are fair, probably think you know it all. Could increase effectiveness in your team significantly with skill building help .

6-4 You are poor, not listening at all.

3-1 You are deaf! Please, take the results with a sense of humor!

The Listening ContinuumThe Listening Continuum

5) Empathic Listening 4) Active Listening 3) Selective Listening 2) Pretend listening1) Ignore

Listening with empathyListening with empathy

1) Reflect the facts2) Summarize the facts in your words

(remember Golden Rule of communication)

3) Reflect and summarize feelings4) Steps 2) + 3) together5) Know when to stop 3)

Non-verbal communicationNon-verbal communication

Just how important is non-verbal communication?

Non-verbal clues55%

Tone of voice (38%)

Words (7%)

What you say is not nearly as important

as how you say it.

Non-verbal communicationNon-verbal communication

Understanding the non-verbal cues will help you find more

effective way to communicate with others.

Non-verbal communicationNon-verbal communication

Non-verbal CommunicationNon-verbal CommunicationDistancePersonal space (“bubble”)OrientationPosturePhysical ContactsFacial expressionGesturesEye contact

Using “I” StatementUsing “I” StatementStart your sentence with “I”Taking responsibility of your observation,

thoughts, feelings, and wantsGo through the 4 squares to construct your

sentence!

Observation Thoughts

Feelings Wants

Hands of PrecisionHands of Precision

Right Hand: imprecise Language Left Hand: Precise Questions

1) Universals: all every never 1) All? Every? Never?

2)Should, shouldn't, can't, mustn't 2) What would happen if you could?

3) Verbs 3) How specifically?

4) Nouns 4) Who or what specifically?

5) Too much, too many, too expensive

5) Compared to what?

Communication vs. Communication vs. Effective communicationEffective communication

It is not important what I say, but what YOU

understand

Communication vs. Communication vs. Effective communicationEffective communication

1. Effective communication always implies a feedback system.

2. Making sure there is feedback is the responsibility of person A

3. Person B needs to be aware that giving feedback really is in her hands, even though it is Person A's responsibility.

Pitfalls of FeedbackPitfalls of Feedback

You have TWO ears and ONE mouth...hence, you should listen

TWICE as much as you speak!

ConclusionConclusion“Think about it like a professional

poker player: think about what the jackpot is. What is at stake in the long term?" ◦Jean Louis Van Doorne

The 4-Ears ModelThe 4-Ears Model

"There is no more marketing "There is no more marketing material." material."

Purely factual Purely factual basis basis

"VP Marketing, please make new "VP Marketing, please make new material!" material!"

Command, Command, request basis request basis

"VP Marketing, you don't like me "VP Marketing, you don't like me because otherwise you would because otherwise you would have seen that yourself" have seen that yourself"

Relationship Relationship basis basis

"I am guilty: I have already used all "I am guilty: I have already used all the the material that was material that was supposed to last all year." supposed to last all year."

Self-revelation Self-revelation basis basis

VP exchange says: "I have no more marketing material for selling ITEP."

Communication MatrixCommunication Matrix

Message is meant to be

1. Factual 2. Command 3. Relationship 4. Self-revelation

Message is perceived to be

1. Factual Effective Ineffective Ineffective Ineffective

2. Command Ineffective Effective Ineffective Ineffective

3. Relationship Ineffective Ineffective Effective Ineffective

4. Self-revelation Ineffective Ineffective Ineffective Effective