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Target Who?They’re different.

As you walk to yourclassroom you see them —the kids who are “targets.” You know theones — the kids who arethe “too” kids. Too tall, too short. Too fat, tooskinny, too smart, toostupid, too pretty, too ugly, too popular, too out, too in, too scrawny, too athletic, too mature, too immature, too quiet, too everything…

Maybe they’re the kids who don’t wear name-brand clothes who aren’t in the “in” crowd, or theones who may be havingproblems with their skin.Maybe they don’t have the“right” haircut or hang with the “right” friends.

Maybe they’re the kids who aren’t confident ordon’t have many friends. You know — the loners.Maybe they’re the kids who sit at the “uncool”table at lunch. Maybe they’re the gifted kids — youknow, the really smart ones — or the kids who goto special classes for reading or math becauselearning is hard for them.

Maybe they look or act “funny” or “awkward” andbecause of that, people make fun of them. Maybethey have braces or wear glasses. Maybe theydon’t have the latest game system, best cellphone, or the best shoes. Maybe they don’t havemoney. Maybe they have too much money. Forwhatever reason, they wear a target.

Targets are on the chests of different types ofpeople every day as you walk down the hallway,and all for different reasons.

And most school days as you walk to yourclassroom, you hope that the target is not on yourchest. All you want to do is blend in and hope thatthe bullies pick someone else as their latest victim.

But what happens when you feel like you’re theone who feels different? You feel like you’re theone who is “too” everything.

One thing is for certain — no one has a “right” tobe a bully, and most certainly, no one should haveto endure a bully’s physical, emotional, or verbalabuse. Being the victim of a bully is not your fault,and it is not a “ right of passage.”

You’re You!! A Celebration of DiversityAs you are in a class each day, walk to music orgym class, are active in after-school activities, areon the bus, or are at home with your family, youare your own person.

Part of growing up is growing into the person thatyou are becoming. You have so much inside ofyou that is growing up on so many levels — yourmind, how you work with people, your feelingsand your body. All of those ways of growinginteract to help you become the special personthat is you.

Taking the time to look at where you are withyourself is important. Be honest with yourself andbe true to who you are!! In the next part of thissupplement, you will be asked to brainstorm aboutyourself.

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Write quickly — as usually the first thing thatcomes to mind is the most honest and true!

Notice something about that exercise… Youfocused on things that are good about yourselffor the first few lists, and then the bad wasthrown in at the end. Here’s the honest truthabout growing up — Everyone has things thatwe are not happy about with ourselves, andmore times than not — we focus on the thingswe don’t like instead of the things that are greatabout ourselves! The bad things take over ourlives and the good things that we love aboutourselves are often lost. No one is perfect, andlearning to deal with what we see in our ownmirror is a hard fact of life.

3 Things You Love About How You Look On The Outside

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3 Things You Love About Your Personality

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3 Things That Your Friends Like About Being With You

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3 Things That You Wish You Could Change About Yourself

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But there is more to this. If you want to changesomething about yourself because YOU want tochange it — grow as a person, to feel goodabout yourself, to be a better person — that’sthe one thing, you have the choice to work tofind ways to change things about yourselfbecause of SOMEONE ELSE — so that someoneelse will accept you into “ the group”, so theteasing will stop, so that you can get into the“right” crowd — then wanting those changesare not for the best reasons.

If we were all the same, the world would be arather boring place. That’s the beauty of life. Allthe different skin types and colors, hair colorsand styles, eye shapes and colors, beautifulpersonalities, voices, and so much more bringsuniqueness to our world. If we could just realizethat our differences are what make us beautiful,then perhaps more time would be spentenjoying others instead of hurting othersbecause of differences.

Too many times in your world, judgment comesby looking at outside appearances. Have youever seen a clam or other bivalve? You knowhow it looks, right?

It’s all grimy and gross on the outside. There’sthis slime that is around the outside of theshell and they’re stinky. The shells that thesemussels live in are not even very attractive.Many times they have to be dug up fromthe dirt or mud, and sediments from theocean or lake bottom have become a part of

the clam’s shell. They’re not always theprettiest things to look at…

But what could be inside of each of those clamsis what is the true miracle. Every bivalve likea clam or mussel inside of a shell has thepotential to create and house somethingbeautiful — something completelyunique. That something it can createis a pearl. Pearls are created whenforeign objects get stuck inside theshell. The “pearly” side of the shellthen erodes and builds up aroundthe foreign object to make thepearl. You may have heard ofpearls being created from a grainof sand, and that can truly happen.That one little grain of sand cancreate something beautiful.

It’s only when the icky looking clamis opened that we see the beauty thatcould be within.

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You are a bit like the clam. Comments may bemade about your outer appearance. Your hardshell may be filled with grime and gunk that hasbuilt up from everything around you — commentsfor so-called friends, snide remarks in the lunchline, people judging your outer appearance,remarks on the bus, etc. But it is only until peopletake the time to truly get to know you for who youare that they get to see your “pearls” — yourunique qualities that make you who you are! It’stheir loss if they can’t get past a “shell” to see thetrue you.

As you grow older, you’ll see that being differentis what life is all about. But right now, your realityis that you don’t want to be the “fish out ofwater.” You want to be the one to blend in andnot get noticed, because if you’re noticed andaren’t ready for it, a bully (who more than likelyisn’t comfortable with the person that he/sheis presently…) could try to makehimself/herself superior in your world bymaking you feel bad about something andmaking you lose sight of the beauty andrespect that you have for yourself.

The challenge becomes — How do you keep abully from harming you physically or emotionally?

BullyingBullying is all about one word — power. A bullyfeels power over those they think are “weaker”than he/she is either physically or emotionally.Fear drives a bully to harm others, and it’s oftenbecause the bully is not sure about something inhis/her life.

Beware of the BullyBeing bullied does not have to be part of schoollife. Knowing how bullies harm their “prey” can help you make good decisions to keepyourself safe.

Physical Bullying — Boys tend to bullyphysically more often than girls. Locker shoving,tripping, giving “swirlies” in the bathroom stalls,spitting on someone — you name it, and it’s beendone! Physical bullying can begin with somethinglike knocking off the books from a desk, bumpinginto someone in the hallway, and can escalate intoall out fights. The important thing to rememberabout physical bullying is that any sort of physicalcontact in an aggressive way is violence. Violenceis unacceptable and should be reported to atrusted adult — like a teacher, principal, parent orcounselor. You don’t have to “take it” and you arenot “tattling” if you have been in danger andspeak with someone about it.

Emotional Bullying — Girls tend to bullyemotionally more than boys, but that doesn’tmean that boys are immune. It can take the formof spreading rumors, use of body language, notletting people in groups, and even cyber-bullying.Whatever form it takes, hearts can be hurt bythings that teachers and adults don’t even noticeuntil it’s too late. Emotional bullying can be just asharmful and hurtful as a punch in the gut.

How do you define a Bully?

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What are your “pearls” — your unique qualities that are

within your shell that few people know about?

1. ______________________________________________________

2._______________________________________________________

3._______________________________________________________

4._______________________________________________________

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Sometimes it can even feel worse! Whatever formit takes, it is unacceptable behavior and you do nothave to deal with it alone. These types ofbehaviors are considered to be harassment, andmost schools have policies that ban suchbehaviors. Again, seek the help of a trusted adult ifyou are in such a situation. Having to deal withcomments that hurt you inside is not “just part ofschool.” No one should have to be made to feelsmall, low, or excluded.

Cyberbullying — Yet another type of bullying thathas just come to be in the last few years iscyberbullying. While you may not be emailingfriends on the computer or text messaging them ona cell phone yet, you will be doing these thingssoon. Words can hurt — sometimes more thanhitting. When you start talking with your friends byemail or text messaging, think before you send yourmessage. Once you send it, you can’t take it back.

Relational Bullying — Although they’re notbeing sent to the office for shoving and hitting,girls can be the worst bullies of them all. You’veheard of there being “queen bees” in your school,

right? They’re the girls who lead the cliques andwho pretty much feel like they run the school. Theyusually have their noses in everyone else’s privatelives, decide what other people think or do, andoften spread rumors about people if they don’t dowhat she wants them to… What they say usuallygoes — with regards to clothes, fashion, who is themost popular, who should go out with whom, whogets to play what games on the playground, etc.These girls are guilty of something that is calledrelational bullying. This type of bullying isn’tphysical. It builds up and hurts every fiber of theperson being bullied to the core.

These girls work their relationships in order tohurt other people. They threaten through meancomments and sometimes a “just kidding”afterwards. They bully through their bodylanguage — pointing, funny faces, rolling theireyes. They bully by not letting someone into thegroup, not letting someone sit with them at lunch,and talking behind a person’s back. It also takesthe form of horrible rumor spreading, whisperingabout someone, and so much more. This type ofbullying is all about the power of the “queen bee.”She is using her power in a negative way to hurtanother girl or make her feel bad about herself.That’s why they’re sometimes called “mean girls.”

Has this happened to you? _______________________________

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What will you do? ________________________________________

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Has this happened to you? _______________________________

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What will you do? ________________________________________

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Choices — As you grow older, you earn theright to make more choices for yourself. If youchoose to hang out with someone who putsother people down, you are just as guilty as theperson who says the mean things. If you chooseto roll your eyes at someone’s outfit and talkabout them behind their back, you are guilty ofbeing an emotional bully.Choose to hang around people who arerespectful. Choose to treat other people well.Choose to help others who need a friend.Choose to carry yourself with dignity and pride.Choose to help other students who are beingbullied. You are the better person by doing thosethings.

Keep Yourself SafeYou have enough stressers in your life —homework, getting to your classes on time,getting to know your teachers, keeping track ofyour extracurricular activities, knowing what’sgoing on in your family. The last thing you needto be worrying about is being bullied.Physical bullying can happen anywhere, but ithappens most often in the hallways, thelunchroom, on the bus, in the bathroom, or onthe playground. One way to deal with things ifyou are being physically bullied is to travel witha buddy or a couple of buddies wherever yougo. There is strength in numbers, especiallywhen dealing with bullies. If you are not alone,there will be witnesses to the bullying acts.Telling a bully to stop to attract attention also isa good strategy. You are not being weak whenyou ask for help. The bully isthe one that is “in thewrong.”

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Staying safe from an emotional bully can be a littleharder. The best way to counteract this type ofbullying is to be OK with who you are, just the wayyou are! Being confident in who you are is the firststep to staying strong during your school years. It’shard to be evaluated by your peers, and sometimesit’s the little things that add up. If you feel as if youare being emotionally bullied, find someone youcan confide in — a parent, teacher, counselor, or afriend. Keeping all of your emotions bottled upwhen you are really hurting inside won’t makethings better. Sometimes spilling out your emotionsto someone you trust makes you feel better, andyou might get some ideas for how to combat thebullying from them. Is theresomeone in your life that isn’t yourparent or teacher that you canconfide in? This person can be anolder brother or sister, trustedneighbor, a grandparent, or an auntor an uncle. Sometimes a personjust needs to talk about what isgoing on in his/her life. Findingsomeone that you are close to thatyou can sit and have a soda or asnack with can help you cope withwhat goes on at school. Justknowing there is someone that will listen to whatyou are feeling always helps.

Facing the Hard TruthThe reality that you may have to deal with bullyingin your life isn’t pleasant. In fact, that reality issomething that the adults in your life wish youdidn’t have to deal with… but you do. Knowinghow to face this truth is about power — thepower that is within you! A bully won’t beable to hurt you if you love yourself justthe way you are. A bully won’t be able toharm your self-esteem if it has been builtso strong that nothing can shake it. A bullywill see your confidence in yourself andwon’t bother coming near you, as they knowtheir comments will just slide right off of you.Be proud of the you that you are becoming.Live your life in a way that is full ofconfidence and truth. The bottom line is this— treat others with respect and they willtreat you well right back!!

Whom would you go to if you needed to chat about something? Think of 3 people that you could confide in.

1. _________________________________________________________

2. _________________________________________________________

3. _________________________________________________________

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