Elements of an Essay: Writing Details

By Oxford Tutoring

CommentaryIt is an extremely important factor in writing a well-thought out essay. You will need it for every single detail you write.

Commentary Defined

CommentaryIs an explanation.

● Explain to your reader how the details relate to the thesis statement.

● It does not contain facts.

● Instead, it discusses what your details have to do with the topic.

Writing Commentary

Writing1. You are going to need at least

two sentences for every detail sentence.

2. A good guideline is that you commentary should be twice as long as your details.

3. Without commentary, your paper is just facts.

We want to know how YOU think these facts prove your point and what YOU think they mean.

Different Ways to Write Commentary

Opinion

This is when you write your belief, subjective judgment or way of thinking about a detail.

Interpretation

Your explanation of something that is unclear

Character or Subject’s Feelings

When you describe what the character or subject of the detail is feeling.

Personal Reaction

Your personal emotions about the detail

Evaluation

Your objective judgment of a detail

Commentary is the Treasure

CommentaryIs the treasure that makes your

paper shine

● It should always strengthen and extend the details.

● This is your chance to show us what you’ve got.

● It is where you can impress us with your analysis and interpretation skills.

The “What and Why” Method

“What and Why”1. If you are struggling to write

commentary, try using the “what and why” method.

2. First, tell the reader WHAT your detail is talking about by defining or explaining

3. Next, let your reader know WHY this same details is relevant to your thesis statement.

Starting Commentary Sentences

CommentarySentence starters

● “This shows that…”

● “This is important because…”

Commentary Sentence Starters TipsObviously, you cannot start every sentence the same way because that would be redundant.

It is, however, helpful to think these phrases in order to guide your commentary in the right direction.

Applying Commentary Techniques

Let’s put together the different commentary options and the method for writing them.

Commentary Type: Opinion Using the “What and Why” Method

CommentaryOpinion Example

● Topic: education

● Detail: According to the 2013 National Assessment of Education Progress Reading test, 80% of students score below grade level in reading.

Opinion ExampleYour commentary should answer the following questions (1) WHAT is my opinion, and (2) WHY is my opinion relevant to my thesis statement?

Commentary for previous detail:

1. A statistic like shows the poor state of the education system.

2. If we are to help students become successful adults, we need to change they way we are educating our children.

Commentary Type: Interpretation Using the “What and Why” Method

CommentaryInterpretation Example

● Topic: benefits of college

● Detail: First of all, of 2,350,000 college students enrolling per year, only 1,750,000 will graduate.

Interpretation ExampleYour commentary should answer the following questions (1) WHAT is my interpretation, and (2) WHY is my interpretation relevant to my thesis statement?

Commentary for previous detail:

1. This shows that the high demand placed on students during their college years is too much stress for many.

2. However, the pressure of college is reflective of a future career and helps to prepare young adults for these challenges.

Commentary Type: Character or Subject’s Feelings Using the “What and Why” Method

CommentaryCharacter or Subject’s Feelings

Example

● Topic: cost of higher education

● Detail: For example, Benjamin Davis, a recent college graduate with a degree in Business, struggled for many years to find a job because of the recent unemployment struggles in America.

Your commentary should answer the following questions (1) WHAT is the subject’s feelings , and (2) WHY is the subject’s feelings relevant to my thesis statement?

Commentary for previous detail:

1. He like most, experiences extreme frustration over spending time and money obtaining a degree that gives him very little advantage when searching for a job.

2. As a result, many are left wondering is higher education is worth the cost.

Character or Subject’s Feelings Example

Commentary Type: Personal Reaction Using the “What and Why” Method

CommentaryPersonal Reaction Example

● Topic: bullying

● Detail: Also, a bully might speak cruelly in order to intimidate, steal a student’s belongings, or intentionally exclude a student from a group.

Interpretation ExampleYour commentary should answer the following questions (1) WHAT is my personal reaction, and (2) WHY is my personal reaction relevant to my thesis statement?

Commentary for previous detail:

1. It is extremely upsetting to know that most children undergo this type of treatment at school.

2. It is hurtful, isolating, and can have long-lasting psychological damage on those students who experience bullying often.

Commentary Type: Evaluation Using the “What and Why” Method

CommentaryEvaluation Example

● Topic: bears

● Detail: Naturally, a bear, when threatened, will rise up from the ground, growl loudly, and begin charging at a speed of up to 35 mph.

Evaluation ExampleYour commentary should answer the following questions (1) WHAT is my evaluation, and (2) WHY is my evaluation relevant to my thesis statement?

Commentary for previous detail:

1. Although this is a frightening experience, it is not entirely the bear’s fault.

2. In fact most of the time a bear attack is the result of an individual not realizing that the woods is a bear’s environment and means one must be cautious and respectful of that environment.

When to Use Commentary Types

CommentaryTypes Tips

● Depending on your assignment, choose the types of commentary that best fits your argument.

● Use a variety of different types of commentary to write a well-argued paper.

Commentary Workshop

Workshop1. Go back and look at step two of

writing details from last week’s presentation.

2. Update your commentary to fit the “what and why” method, using the commentary types you just learned.

3. If you have not already done that step, use the worksheet found here.

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