elizabeth stokes ib
DESCRIPTION
An example of a Level 7 Script-Writing CommentaryTRANSCRIPT
O*îtåi:#ËFilm cover sheet:
Submit to: lVloderator
6/FPPHCS
production portfolio
Anival date: 20 Oct / 20 Oct ..2oo7
School number:
schoornu,".,. So.u TH. .¿SLflN,0, ...S,ç.il.qÇ.L. ..
' llf ite Iegihly using blctck ink qncl retein e copt! o.f this form.' Contplete one cop:Ì of lhis.furnr.for eetch cctnclidute.
Subject: Film Level: Flioher
Candidare name: ÞLtL ft ?,F,TH S¡o KUS
Candidate session number:
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Details of production
prodrrction rìtle: Tr qcKS
Principal rolc: (circle one role only) | Date of production:
Director lzrr '6 €Writer
Cinematographer
Sound desi grer/recordi st/mi xer
Editor
frß 'c1
For completion by the candidateCandidate's contribution to film production:You nrcr7,'¡t,ish lo nrcnlion suclt issues a.s anal¡'tictal, Íechnicctl, creative, comntunicctlion/tecunv,ork,i n t erp ers o tt a I, o r gan i zot i onq I il n cl ¿l ec i.r i on - n ru ki ng s ki I I s.
luri t<r hrnu,¿ tt k,fir<¿<ôW Ot)t-o.r /a,4^¿n," / a-l-ço
h^ar-/
Please tum over
Tlrc arts, JìlnrHandhook of ¡troc'elures 2009O lnternational Bacc¿rlaureate Organization, 2008
lnternational Baccalaureate
Schoor no'"., ..S Z TH,. Lí-LA AJ. 8.....-.1.ç. fl o_a L6/FPPHCS (page 2)
Trailer
For completion by the candidateCandidate's comment on production of trailer:TUg Tfctlþ¿' h¿a.-/ covt<|fr^u
e A-o øt trat l<r Cn nu¿h.ú'a<q/ I( '^g cørapa|<z c<7 a _( a4 </2Q' {p r -
Candidate declaration: I conftrm that this work is my olvll lr,ork and is the fìnal version. I haveacknowledged each usc of thc- rvords or ideas of anothc'r person, whether rvritten, oral or visual.
Dare: Q-62.2/.a IFor completion by the teacher
AB
I confirm that, to the best ol my knorvledge, the material submitted is rhe authentic work ol the candidate.
Ë
Tl'te orts, filnrO Intemational Baccalaureate Organization, 2008
Please turn over
H¿t nd boo k of proceclu re s 2 009
lomments (please add further comments on a separate sheet, if necessary)l^ a-b,*,',:,,¡ hlr^J fl [,-o auta!' (tt rï tl ^Aî-Lr^/*.,:.t,'^;la,.,ls a¡'¡ Jr'i¡'*'¿ '¡.F<,-j v- ê'')
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lnternational Baccalaureate
S c rr o o I n o ,n", . 5 9. .? ..T. H.... 1..{. ç. A N..Q. .....:1.ç H...O.A...:...
6/FPPHGS (page 3)
For completion by the moderator
For completion by the senior moderator
For completion by the candidate
I confirnt that I have int'ormed everyone who has been involved in the production of this tìlm that it maybe used by the lB for assessment, educational, training and/or promotional purposes in relation to the
IB's activities or those related activities of rvhich it approves. I have also infomred thenr that they andthe school may be identitìed on thc lilnl and that, because of thc nature of the rnaterial, it will not be
possible f-or the lB to later remove identifìers.
I confìrm that all involved in thc prodLrction of this film took part in it on this understanding.
candidate's sisrature: ?$ft¿t o*",¿#./t /q.lIn lhe unlikely ertent lhul cut individuctl 's objection to this slqtemenÍ y,oulcl have prevented thestrc'cessful contplelion of this cotttponenl of lhe crturse, llrc cctncliclate Drco' use form 81 I to clctintexclu:sive cop¡l'ight ctncl so eillo,Ã, lhctl indivicluql to Íake part in the produc:tirsn.
If lltis i.s lhe case, pletse clisc¿tss it .first v,illt your teqclter and nole tlrc nalu'e of the inclividual'sresen,alions belo¡,.
Hctndbook td proced ures 2 009O Intemational Baccalaureate Organization. 2008
The art.s. flnr
IB Film Studies
Production Portfolio
Name: Elizabeth Stokes
Candid¿te Number: 003258-13 I
School: South Island School
School Number: 0o32-58
SçssÍon: May 2009
Filp Rationale:
Tracks is a character driven, slice-of-life film, showing the struggles faced by the
teenage protagonis! Lea" as she tries to define her identþ Intending to explore the
commonly teen-associated issue of identþ from a more critical and realistic
perspective, the film is a hybrid of both the teen drama and realism. The conflicts
faced in defining identity is expressed through Lea and the concept ofjuxtaposition;
there is juxtaposition between Lea's intemal and extemal scl[ between family
pressures and personal liberly, and between Lsa's perceived reality and reality itself.
The film focuses on how Lea attempts to resolve this conflict. -z
Word Count: 100
Trailer Rationale:
The ûailer is a montage of clips, edited together to reveal aspects of Lea's identity. Itparticularly accentuates the film's key concept of juxtaposition and the opposition
between Lea's internal and external self. In presenting this concep! split screening is
utilized to create a fragmented visual effect. This is contasted with Lea's voice over,
which delivers a confiden! stylized monologue about who she is. The trailer is not
intended to have a coherent narrative, blt instead, is meant to pique the audience's
interest as to Lea's identity. As suct¡ thícharacter's name is deliberately not revealed.
Word Count: 96
Plannine. Research & Evaluation
Initially, I believed the best way ûo execute the concept was solely through the film style, realism.
Having watched a range of realist texts, genres like Italian neorealism and British naturalism
appealed to me as a means of expressing the blunt difficuþ and pressure the character faced. In
forrning a character, during the early drafls of script, I wanted to stay far away from the teen
stereotype of the angsty, burdened egocentric girl, seen in many teen dramas, like The O.C.
In my first drafted scrip! I expressed ne naslraln and pressure faced by Lea through juxtaposing
the sparse dialogues with her boyfriend, Ant and mother, Beth, against the liberating running
scenes. Whilst writing, I envisioned the running scenes to be filmed with widg welþlit shots and
the dialogue scenes to be filmed using close, confined and dimly lit shots so to further th/juxtaposition. The British naturalist text Ken Loach's Kes. was influential as jt too shows the
hardships of the protagonis! Casper, through juxtaposition. In Kes. the abusive , (O*"rdialogues ofCasper's domestic and school life are juxtaposed against the soaring musical soundtrack used;øfren
he is alone with nature. The dramatist, Harold Pinter, influenced the use of scripted silence in
dialogue scenes as a tool in creating awkward tensions between cha¡acters and audiences. t #- úr , l, t
Tracks Descrìption ofioggtng scerp, in corrtrostwith stìflíng dìalogue (¡5h0.
thcrÊ 19 ¡n ¡wkwÀrd gllenc€.
t.EÀ
ghê lôokr up aÈ DBlÍ,
nhaÈ do fou ¡6an?
DE'B
DE¡B Etops ând looks up ât f.EÀ, ltrhÂllng shÂrÞly.
¡ urs thlnklnE rê cou).d èry thatney thÂ1, plàce oö PrLdây.
IEÀ
lEÀ looh¡ rè hêr thsb ¡,ook¡ dôfln .t bêË food €¡ÈLng¡fIêntly.
EEnE V¡he pÂu.o¡ slth hor ortihg, boldfbg fork in ¡td-¡lr,ât LEÀ expectantly.
Tracks Dimly lit dialogue dinner scene betweenBeth and Lea with sparse díalogae.
J
rù1. !EÀ JoCCTNC ÀÂ00UD
lBÀ 1û scon I a¡c runnftrE clothc¡ but ¡t Ä park abouLto JoE. gho ! rôngêIy ncrvouo. goflovér, Âs ¡hc stôrtsrunlllng sho I crêd rlth conlldoncc and ¡ ñont¡golûtcrlactod u brlghtly ltt trÂch ôûd Èhe dl,ttéreËLploco€ sho ru oon,
,./
Also, the kitchen scene from Vittorio De Sica's Italian neorealist frlm, Umberto D - which shows a
maid doing her chores in real time to convey the tedium of life - was the inspiration of one of the
concluding scenes of the film, which shows the dull routine of Lea's life as she silently prepares the
dinner table. Particular care was taken in scripting this to emphasize the ordinary, empty actions of a ,/character, as we see soenes before running, with passionate vivacþ inside. For examplq the static
close up of the empty fridge \ilas a symbol scripted to signiff the empty confines the character is
kept in.
CUf Èo LÉÀ outside DEîE'8 door. ghe nalk6 to the kLtchcn andopens tbe frldge. It ls b¡re excepÈ for a few dLêt cokea,boÈtlcs of lrâÈer and 2 neager bowls of food. ghe trke¡ thcfood ând l¡ys then on the table. She also brkcs the dietcoke ¡nd bottle of nÂtêr fron èhê fridge, settlnE them out.
Tracks Scrcen shot shøwing barcfridge,
Francois Truffat¡t's The 400 Blows (1959)Anfoìne running to lhe sea and his ùeoms.
Tracks &rìpl sha +tng dctoÍled description olLeøb chores øtdthe bøetrìdge.
Additionally, the French ne\ry wave film, Francois Truffaut's The 400 Blows. inspired an aspect ofthe running scenes. Because Lea tries to break free of her stífling confines, so to strive towards the
ambitions in her next phaso of life, she is similar in one way to Antoine, the suffering protagonist of ,,
The 400 Blows. As such, in the scrip! one scene of Lea running makes an inter-textual reference to/the iconic shot from The 400 Blows ofAntoine running. Recognizable to aficionado audiences, the
intertextr¡ality links the struggle ofAntoine 50 years ago to Iæa in modern day Hong Kong. 7' I
f ,- l-. , .'-J" I
t^' ¡')J:i" :'t
4-r"'\ ç t'',,P 4
r)TracV,s Lea running - øn inter-textusl rcference toThe 400 Blo¡t's
4
- sdiÞt Conl.dn(. Wd 30/e.dc
ã 'r . .' . - -
' Makc thc script mor€ about Lca. Charactcrization is lacking, hc doc¡n't knowwho the boy and the girl are as charactcr¡. trVhat kcy issuce do thcy facc?Doesn't get a scnsc of fully flcshcd out ch¡¡actcre
. Focus on thc maio cha¡actcr trying to brcak frcc of ¡omcthing - cmphasize thclancs ofthc athlctic tacþ thc mctaphor ofruccc¡s and winning Eucccss,winning in life, play upon the contrasting rclationrhip bctwccn Atrt ånd Lca
PLANNING:Screen shots showing notes from script conferencæ
like the division between perceived reality and reality itself,
othergenresw¿rsconsidered. C _,,, ..,_1., ,,. l.j
After completing the script in this
realist format, I had a script
conference with teachers.fud, as
shown lefr because of the
sparseness of the script in its
realist mode, characters were not
developed adequateiy. Also, Írs
other themes I wanted to portray,
were not being conveye{ the use of
\ :tt,' \ I I I
Before deciding on an appropriate geffe to convey this, I fißt focused on developing
characterization. From the feedbacþ I realized that because I tried to develop all characters evenly
to exhibit realism, I was detracting from the development of Lea. Resultantly, I chose to shift the
focus of the film solely onto Lea and have monologues added to provide further cha¡acter insight.
The character profile I made, seen below, helped clariff what I wanted to convey about her.
E D.¡Dd tht¡þll D.lorlÉb.t
,{9å: D¡3Ùmuhùho Fê!ùJn¡lrryHalr; Evð:
l3ñn-- lEiÞrn :
-Hâi€ht: weight:ryry
Cl¡r¡c¡r füla¡ l¡rñ¡ll Nam¿;
lLða Conråd
0âscrlülon:
PLANIìING:Character biographies I created
I
(^dd)
.)
In doing this, I rcalized, from previous research into the teen dram4 Iæa possessed some aspects of
the teen stereotype; she was undergoing a rite of passage in entering university and facing teenage
angst. Despiæ my initial personal dislike of the teen dram4 I realized it could serve to fi¡rther the
concept ofjuxtaposition by contrasting the more serious, gritty realist mode with the entertainin$
stylized teen drama. Although a seeming!'incongruous hybrid" the two genresvcomple,lnent and
support the theme of distorted realities."Particularly as Lea is in the intermediate phase between
adolescence and adulthoo{ the two film styles proved to be synbols in themselves signiffing the
midway point Lea is at in growing up. This concept is shown through cha¡acter mostly through
Lea's self-awareness (seen below). Though at times she may appear like a typical teenager, shown
through her sarcastic quips, the selÊreferencing to teen d¡ama representations indicates her selÊ
awareness. t(-vr",)Ja,.1,,,.,,,,' |
.i :-^i
LEÀ (V.O. 'Àh yee . the part-tLnìe. À.R.À.
SurroEate mumny.
She scoffs biÈterly, lrauEes Èhen Eighs
God. f'm  nieerable pile ofteenÂEe anEst. Orange County, nrakeway for MarLssa Cooper the second.l.tunnry doesn't love me, my lLfe'e inruins. I an À certLfíed walklngc-llc.h.e.
Tracks,Scrþ showing IcaS self-m,øercss as shercfercnces tle leen ùonq The O.C.
Sam Mendes'Americ¿n Beaut]¡ and Jason Reitman's Juno werltwo main texts used as resea¡ch
into this geff€. Though not technically classified as a te.en dram4 Am-erican BeauE possesses the
appropriate teen representations I hoped to include in my script and presented them, along with
other linking family representations, in a sophisticated package as it considered ideas like the
pursuit of happiness. This concept that American Beauty suggests about archetypes of happiness
and the actual state of happiness is epitomized in the family dinner scene; though the family is
filmed as the picturesque group, there is the underlying reality of a loveless marrìage and an ügry,
insecure daughter. When scripting the dialogue sc€nes, this image was especially influential in
conveying the tension between cha¡acters and the expected propriety. For example, Beth and Lea
eat dinner sitting closely together, but are showr as distantly cold through their sparse dialogue.
,/
Sam Mendes'American Beaury (1999)Masked tenslon al ø pictwvsque fanþ dtnner
l.EÀß
what dld you htve Ln dnd, a füLly of dL¡turbed lo¡€ra rhoârê lnto .SfnD-lly rnd incê.è?
JI'NO
I rÀs Èhlnklnt a graphlc derlEn€!, dd-Èhlrtfê¡, ¡bit hltcæl Àsfan rlfê yho dreao€a ¡ue¡o¡¡ ônd ÞlÂy¡ bÀ¡a. Dut t.[ÈrylnE to noÈ be too partlculaË.
Jason Reitman's Juno (2007)Scrtpt ofwitty exchoqe
TracksMqsked tension d a pictutesquefømily dìnrcr
Additionally, from rcs€arching Juno and other texts, like Mean Girls. I found the defining
convention was plots revolving around riæs of passage, romance, angst and rebellion, all packaged
in stylized, often sarcastic dialogue. The common witty exchanges in teen drama dialofúes, as
shown below, were played upon ín the construction of my monologues. Though Le¿ has her witty
intemal monologues, she is alienated because of the disconnect between her and the bleak dìalogues
of the exte¡nal world, where no witty exchanges take place. v
¿EÀ (V.O. )
Wh¡È? t¡ol I'n not, "rreLrd" or"awkward"... Nor an f partl,cularlypronê to spewlng. No... IÈ's reallyEoËe a !Âtter of uhaÈ's fn ny ûLhd.Íou see, rlEht theËe on ny Ieftshoulder? Yeâh... th¡t's where theenarlfng grenlLn of ny nindresldes.
TracksLeab wit in ßoløtion
Despite thís serious natuþ of teen film plots, another convention sometimes ønployed is the
trivialization of serious matt€rs. For example, in Juno. Juno tivializes her mother's abandonment
with a sarcastic joke. In order to emphasize the younger, more immatu¡e aspects of Le¿, the sane
sarcastic tivialization was used.
o (v.o.lÀnd I'm lfke, "lhankg a heap,
abando nt"Jason Reitman's Juno (2007)Sqeøstic Tlivt aliz øti on
LEÀ (V.O. )
lalk talk talk. I'n lettLng hertalk on. It'a very inportant forher to feel ae if she'sconÈrLbutLng to ny upbringing.TracksSøe os tíc Thiv lolìzøtìon
As discussed, binary opposition between inner and outer life is a key feature of the narrative that is
especially facilitated by the monologues. For example, since the incorporation of the teen drama
geffg the ìnitial ¡ealist scane of page 2, where Lea prepares the dinner table, was updated to include
monologues. The monologue was purposefully wrítten as a sharp juxtaposition to the banal, realist-
inspired action, reinforcing ttre distinction between the intemal vibrant world Lea keeps herself in
and the external monotony she prefers not to deal with. Though t¡pically monologues are intended ¡/
to relate to what the cha¡acter is doing on screen, the monologue here was scripted to have little,
relevance to Lea's onscreen chores in a bid to exemplifu that inner and outer life opposition. '/Also, because my vision for the cha¡acter and narrative aimed to exhibit a complex slice-oÊlife, Iwanted to develop my character ftrther by showing her selÊawareness to her shortcomings. In
Tracks. Lea direotþ addresses the conflicts she face, showing her self-awareness. However, in an
attempt at originality, through the enigmatic, non-c
suggested that these tensîons Lea faces are perhaps
L8À (V.O
I know how f 'n secn. Ànd it'sffne. Because this track that I'mon, where everything I do isexecuted wtth í aculaÈe precision,this Ís track. Ànd maybesometimeg I'n not gure what I'mdoing, but at least it's something.
TracksChøacter b self-awarcrcss ùøv's synpotþ
\ilriter's Role: Lopistic¡llv
Logistically, because the group
consisted of two people, all
operations involved the director
and myself. Whilst writing the
script, constant discussions were
being held through email about
themes and characters and the
director rvas generally flexible
with how I wanted to porhay
these. From script conferences, though no major revisions were made, minor phrasings were
altered ensuring that the rvriting did not slip entirely into cliched expressions of teenage angst as
ùt3t¡ Jcr¡pt taealback.do(
ãErl.], *r;FLEA (V.O.)
But this fault of mine... it isn't really mine. lt belongs to otherpeople. You see, I'm just a victim of circumstance. lt's llke thls,I'm walklng on a tþhtrope, that leads God knows where... and l'mJust trylng not to fall to rry perll.I like the first bit but the second part (highlighted yellow) is a
TracksDìrcctorfeedback on script, minor notatiotts
Lea's selÊawareness also wanted to be emphasized. v
During shooting, I heþd coach actors in the delivery of their lirtes to ensure they were expressing
the emotions I intended in the script. Also, in the event actors had difücuþ with lines, as shown
beloq I would rewrite lines, usually to something more realistic if actors felt it unnatural, in order
to maintain the realist genre. Throughout the process, even in post-production, alterations to the
soript were being made and so my role was not redundant after submitting the final script. For t'/
example, because oftime reshictions in the film, many of the monologues needed to be shortened.
F.EÀ
2:y:4 *o( -/ Måybe rhey don,r exÞecr you ro riu"'- ç.1 n-(.e.& st€{ L lt all ôut.
ùcLÐ^L ¿,\e..-) ÀNÎ
"":7 G-Cê0t ferh Èhev do. tha"T þ*, åii"Hr" ïeak. rr¡
t <'4e,^ sornethJ.ng bfg ÈhÀsoneÈhfnE fDportÂ
Be reaLlze¡ how clo¡e ¡he Lthought procesE ln ht¡ head. Bê novee his hand to touch
r'
Script annotation helping actors
Finally, during production and post-production, I had significant contribution to the shots taken,
selected and edited ensuring they were whæ best expressed and foregrounded the themes of the
film and my writing. For example, because the theme of tracks and defined paths was a recurring
motif in my smipt, I wanted to ensur€ the visuals of the film were also reinforcing this.
EveryÈhLng I do ts árawn ouè withllnêr thÃt drl,ft Lnto obllvLon.?l I d .ñ ¡rhC^rlrrñrl^
^^^rrer^ñ^ô f^'
fLbê. Beê¡u.e thl. treck that I.aoh, vhe¡.e everythLng I do lt
L¡¡AL Þ9s¡¡9È log lsL ^L - A¡^g L¡¡^Þ t
whèn you gtârÈ your race, there'ê
¡l,tao ¡å tÐet pwfovl1l,L
TracksFílmvisual møif of track
Tracks&ript notif of track
9
llrr, rt;rl
Tieiler
In planning, I constnrcted a visual/ audio
script outlining the shots I wanted to use
and how these would complement the
monologue I scripted specifically for ûe
trailer. Also, shots were requested duríng
shooting for the exclusive inclusion in my
trailer.PLANNING:Docttneñ showlng troiler planvílh rcquesled shotsøtd vìsual/ øtdio scripî
The trailer's purpose is to inûoduce character and emphasize the film's concept ofjuxtaposition. Iwanted to include the stark realist façade in my trailer but update it to foreground the film's themes
through editing hence showing that the character's identity issues a¡e realistic. This was achieved
mainly through the use of fragments, both in soundtack and visuals. For example, the layered use
of monologues, which climax to a cacophony at ttre start, was used to emphasize;!,é conñrsion
within character. Likewise, the use of split scr€ens enhanced thg concept of fragmented identity and
was influenced by Bruce McDonald's The Tracey Fragments 4rrro.In my tailer, there is a build up
of shots from fragmente{ split screens at the start to one whole shot at the en{ indicative of the
Sowing unity in Lea's identity. '
Bruce McDonald's TracBv Fra¡rnents (2007)Spllt screenfragmerts
¡ nln rihLd4
N('I Imlú:d lo flD/ n¡qElrd r tr.l|cÊ- thc rhttn¡ñilg thr¡ghthÊ erb. Hþh.rn¡lc rp nricerc. RrmiûS Ùlchs ¡btr (difrat locrdor - ú rhÊ DridgÊ, wrta frolf thouglPtt)
VlÈll^El¡ô.ÞlgmuqrWFruqrc¡
lirrup {!r.L..2lhlitffiðffimGoff
Mdoto$g fdrpl¡yi¡& Isycfçrl ûvÊf.ácü oütr cù.úologic¿ly (ûir ofri¡rãE ¡úd lh! ¡úy Emolog¡¡Êt) rdi.l sd^-ttuÀt.ftõñú¿
F¡¡lc bllct lbln tit¡Ê, Tr.cl¡ ñdÊ. ú. Si¡arcÊ.t.slarsith E¡¡f nüiry üqú¡lÞË[dt ltiñ lúûifu ñ.ftú th. ñiñú
Mmologûc of LÉ¿ crçrrú¡irg sho ¡bÊ ir,
TracksSplít sueenfrøgments
,ç¿t'ìj
l0
The contrasting horizontal and vertical fragments were edited together for a jarring effect again
highlighting the concept ofjuxtaposition used throughoutthe film.
TracksFilm visuol qvøing jonìng efect signfytng binory opposítìon within chøacter 3 lile
Also, the monologue, unrelated to the visuals, is used to show the divide be¡veen ls¿'s inner and
outer life. Highly rehearsed and stylized, the monologue shows Lea's external life as the faultless
achiever, and serves as a contrast to the image.As seen below, the ûailer is edited in a manner so
that the visuals couple ironically with monologue to fi¡rther the character's depth.
LEÀ (V.O. 'I aet sight,s high and running Ls
another outlet for ¡re to challengenyself, and thaÈ'e something I findreally satisfyinE.
TraclsFilm visuol showìng charøcler 3 apparentvul rc rabi lity and urverta¡nty
Trackshonic monologue claiming chøocler to be'satisfied'
Because Tracks is primarily about a confr¡sed character defrning her identìty, the trailer was made to
reflect that. Title cards, typically used in trailers to orientate the audience, were exclu&d" so to not
only emulate the character's confusion but also to create an enigma
Wo¡d Count:1750
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