What Makes A Good

Husbandby Zohayr Khan

Most women in Padua strive to find their perfect match, their true love, their prince charming. As these women seek their husband, they do not even have a bleak idea of what are the characteristics of a truly great husband. Let’s embark on a brisk journey guiding you through the peak points of a worthy man. Firstly, dowry is an important aspect of marriage. Would you like to marry someone who has 2 million crowns or 2 crowns? This is quite a major factor in the marriage. For a man to be an ideal suitor for a woman, he has to convince to her his wealth and superiority in money because the girl needs to understand that the man can fulfill her financial needs. As we saw, a few days, earlier, Lucentio, a local student, finalized his marriage with Bianca, daughter of Baptista, by convincing Baptista that he himself is wealthy/rich and up to Bianca’s standards in terms of money. We questioned Baptista about how he chose Lucentio as the true groom and he simply stated, "he, of both,/ That can assure my daughter greatest dower, shal l have Bianca 's love."(shakespeare.2.1.335-336.) Therefore, we have somewhat come to a conclusion that a wealthy man will be necessary for continued on page 2

Rumor

has it: Shrew

about to

be Tamed

A guide on How to tame your shrew!

ELIZABETHAN TIMES ALWAYS FREE ISSUE NO. 17

THE NO. 1 RELIABLE NEWSPAPER

on page 3

The news took the world by surprise today when the first speculation of Global Shrew Icon, Miss Katherine Minola’s engagement to Petruchio of Verona first surfaced. Is this true? Is the vicious Katherine finally going to get married? Is Petruchio’s love real? And does this mean that Bianca is in the market one again? Find out here on this week’s issue of “Rumor Has it”.

on page 5

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By Nader Akel

By Sebastian Detz

What Makes A Good Husband

The second point that comes to consideration is love. A true, great husband will show love in marriage, which should be necessary. If a man marries a woman for reasons other than love, like dowry, it is utterly against the ethics of a good husband. Back to the point, a husband needs to love his wife as if she is a part of his body. A man treat a woman with disrespect such as yelling, screaming, smacking. These traits define a marriage that is broken and/or dysfunctional. Therefore, love must be present between the bride and groom so the marriage can stay intact for the right reasons. Moreover, in recent times, Petruchio, of Verona has been rumored to marry Katherine, another daughter of Baptista, for reason other than love. We have heard from a source that this man married Katherine because he was desperate to get a women as his father was dying. Currently, this marriage has not been going so great because the groom, who is not in “love with his wife”, has been treating the bride, Katherine with quite some disrespect. He was recently reported to be starving her so she can feel helpless and agree to Petruchio’s demands. We asked Katherine of Padua, a question. “Do you actually love your groom, Petruchio?” She responded, “ I have come to love him because I agree to the fact that I am stuck into marriage and cannot revert back. Before, I was not in love with Petruchio but I have been forcibly married to him, so it is a necessity for me to show love, even though it may be fake.” This restates the truth, marry a man only if he shows true love or affection for you.Another quite important aspect in choosing you to-be husband is that if he has the looks. This characteristic is surely, nondoubetly not the most important thing to consider, but it should be something to consider if you are one of those girls that is very picky and choosy. The looks of a man compliment his overall image and can often beat the other two aspects of a good husband, dowry and love. For example, a newly-

wed couple, Lucentio and Bianca Minola were in deep love and were clinging to each other, in terms of relationships. Unfortunately, there was a catch. Lucentio did not necessarily come from the riches family in town. He was not poor, but at the same time his family did not possess the wealth of the Minolas. Still, Bianca Minola agreed to marry Lucentio and her father, Baptista resignedly accepted the marriage to a middle-class man after witnessing the vast amount of love and affection the new couple showed each other. This incident, itself, is quite a convincing example of how true love can beat the aspects of wealth and dowry in marriage. In truth, a girl that loves a man so intensely that she feels she can be committed to him for the rest of her life, will not consider wealth, and just think about how lovely and handsome her to-be groom is. Although choosing a man based upon love and looks seems to be the ideal and perfect solution for girls, sometimes wealth can become a problem as the marriage continues. Fortunately, from what we have seen, luckily, nothing similar to that has occurred, thankfully.Now, since you, the woman, has truly conjured up and idea of a good husband, consider the content of this article when choosing your Prince Charming. To help you out, even more, here are a few tips.1. Always do things while you consider the long-term effects, so you don’t make any potential mishaps.

2. Never consider wealth to be more important than love and affection.

3. Do what your instincts tell you.

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Continued from front page

A guide on how to tame your

shrew! Here we are sitting today with the happy newly weds, Petruchio of Verona and Katherine of Padua. They have only been married as of last week but to our knowledge everything is well. This is not the first time we have met with Katherine Minola. As our more frequent readers here at The Elizabethan Times might know, we covered another story circling her insolent behavior just a few months ago. We covered how she was a spoiled and uncontrollable child at heart and how her father did not know what to do with her. However he had her sister Bianca who is a hotshot for most men, and as Baptista the father of Bianca and Katherine was considerably loaded it did not take long for Baptista to work out a plan. This plan involved exploiting Bianca nevertheless it was a great plan. He let it be known that Bianca could not marry before her sister Katherine was married. This created a fuss in all parts of Italy. So the suitors of Bianca set out on a quest to look for a wed that would tolerate and fit Katherine, ‘the shrew’. After quite a while the suitors of Bianca found Petruchio of Verona, an old friend of Lucentio who was a suitor of Bianca. The first challenge Petruchio faced was to gain the acceptance of marriage from both Katherine and Baptista. Petruchio’s advice for this is as follows; “ Ignore ‘the shrew’ and go straight to The Man of the house, tell him that you love his daughter and that you want to marry her. If he asks what ‘the shrew’ thinks of this tell him that she couldn’t be happier. When you have his permission to marry say thank you and walk away fast before he changes his mind.” At the wedding Petruchio arrived late in an ugly horse cart, torn clothes, and foul stench. Baptista helps us understand; “Why, sir, you know this is your wedding day. First we were sad, fearing you would not come, Now sadder that you come so unprovided. Fie, doff this habit, shame to your estate, an eyesore to our solemn festival.” – Act 3, Scene 2, Page 5. Petruchio as he himself did, suggests that you arrive late and wear whatever you find that in no way can be casual. This is to ensure that you embarrass your shrew to the max so that she cannot embarrass you. After the wedding remove her from her family as fast as possible so that she cannot express her sadness and anger in front of her family this is exactly what Petruchio did. This is what Petruchio told his newfound family; “I must away today, before night come. Make it no wonder. If you knew my business, you would entreat me rather go than stay. And, honest company, thank you all, that have

that have beheld me give away myself to this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife. Dine with my father, drink a health to me, for I must hence, and farewell to you all.” – Act 3, Scene 2, Page 9. When married to your shrew Petruchio suggests that you should hunger and tire your shrew so she cannot say anything against you the next time you meet with his or her parents. This technique is very similar to that of when people train a falcon. However in this critical part of the operation you have to make sure it looks like you only want the best for your shrew so that he or she cannot be angry with you. Petruchio did this by blaming his servants for how things like the bed and the food was not good enough for his dare Kate. This is what Tranio as Lucentio had to say about Kate before the transformation; “…she’s a devil, a devil, the devil’s dam.” (Shakespeare.iii.II.page 7). However after the Transformation this is what Lucentio had to say about her behavior; “This is a miracle, if you talk of miracles.” – (Shakespeare.V.II.page 7). So to round up what you have to do for your shrew to be a success. Either read more of this article or find Petruchio yourself. Once again this is Sebastian Detz who is right up in your news.

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by Sebastian

by Sebastian Detz

All her life, Katherine was living under Bianca’s shadow. She watched her glow and grow into a beautiful young lady. She saw her get all the men and everything else that she desired while poor insolent Katherine got hatred. Throughout the years, Kate Minola was known as being an incredibly violent and out of control shrew. She truly was virago that needed to be tamed immediately. Baptista Minola, father of the these two ladies, recognized this problem so he pushed the lovely Bianca off the marriage wagon until the despicable Katherine gets on it. This new rule from Baptista drove all the men in Padua crazy. Bianca was depressed for she already had an eye on Lucentio and Hortensio. These two men day after day were trying to woo Bianca but when they found out about Baptista’s new rule, they were devastated. Reports suggest that Hortensio and his fellow loyal friend Gremio were haunting for someone who would agree on marrying our beloved shrew icon, miss Katherine Minola. But then out of nowhere came a man full of courage with a feisty but respectful personality. Until he came along, no one in their right mind could ever find love in such a nasty and hot tempered woman. We were sure that no man with a right mind would decide to marry such a devious women. So the crew from “Rumor has it” and I decided to do some digging. We found out something shocking and disturbing from Hortensio about Petruchio. Apparently, while both of them were having coffee at Starbucks, Hortensio broke the story by telling us that Petruchio said these words:“twixt such friends as weFew words suffice; and therefore, if thou knowOne rich enough to be Petruchio’s wife— As wealth is burden of my wooing dance— Be she as foul as was Florentius’ love,As old as Sibyl, and as curst and shrewdAs Socrates’ Xanthippe or a worse,She moves me not—or not removes at leastAffection’s edge in me, were she as roughAs are the swelling Adriatic seas.I come to wive it wealthily in Padua;If wealthily, then happily in Padua.”(Shakespeare.I.ii.62–73)He frankly stated that his main goal is to marry for money, and also explained to Hortensio that as long

hand for marriage. So happy that his eldest daughter could finally get tamed, Baptista validates the wedding. We had reporters sneak into the Minola’s household. They discovered how Petruchio managed to bring Baptista to his side by faking his passion towards Katherine:“Baptista: Why, how now, daughter Katherine? In your dumps?KatherineCall you me daughter? Now, I promise youYou have showed a tender fatherly regardTo wish me wed to one half lunatic,A mad-cup ruffian and a swearing Jack,That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.Petruchio: Father, ’tis thus: yourself and all the worldThat talked of her have talked amiss of her.If she be curst, it is for policy,For she’s not froward, but modest as the dove.She is not hot, but temperate as the morn.For patience she will prove a second Grissel,And Roman Lucrece for her chastity.And to conclude, we have 'greed so well together,That upon Sunday is the wedding day.Katherine: I’ll see thee hanged on Sunday first.”(Shakespeare.II.i.273-289)Clearly Katherine dislikes Petruchio but he is stubborn and his love for money took the best part of him. His eloquence and nice calming words managed to convince Baptista to accept him as a son-in-law. The marriage is declared to take place the following Sunday.

All the indications show that there is a wedding that’s taking place between Katherine and Petruchio next Sunday evening. Is Katherine hiding her love for Petruchio behind violence and rude behaviors? Or is she obliged to accept to submit to the traditions and will of her father? Whatever the reason might be, Bianca is now available for marriage. If you’re interested, please make sure to visit the Minola Residence as quick as you can for there will be a crowd taking their chance to marry one of the most beautiful ladies in Padua. But most importantly don’t miss our next issue of “Rumor has it” for we will be covering all news and scandals of what might be the hottest marriage of the decade.

Rumor has it: Shrew about to be

Tamed Continued from front page

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as Katherine comes from a wealthy family, he doesn’t care about her other qualities. Hortensio also told us some other interesting information about Petruchio. He claims that after having coffee with him, he left to the Minola’s household and asked Katherine’s father, Baptista, for our lovely Shrew icon’s

By Nader Akel

Lately, Petruchio of Verona has been trying to “tame” his newly-wed wife, Katherine. His way of taming her is quite very sly as he is depriving her of food, sleep, and blaming it on servants, saying that the bed is not fixed or the food is very burnt. We have gathered enough information to intricately tell the story of, “Petruchio’s Taming School.”

First, let’s start by describing Katherine, the shrew. Katherine is the elder daughter of Bapista Minola, a prominent man from Padua. Katherine’s sister Bianca, whose affable behaviour is contrary to that of Katherine’s, is married to Lucentio. Back to Katherine, she is known to always be scolding and yelling at others, sometimes for no reason. Her personality is one that makes her oblivious and and ruffian. She constantly rants about things like love, marriage, etc. She also despises her sister, Bianca, who is obviously more loved. Once, she even tied Bianca to the wall trying to infiltrate her love life, but she was stopped by her father, Baptista. It became obvious that Baptista was willing to get rid of Katherine when he decided to get her married before Bianca. In a weird instance, Petruchio, a desperate-to-get-wed man from Verona, arrived in Padua, and was led to Katherine as she somewhat matched his needs. His needs were simply, “ a woman.” In a highly controversial wedding, in which Petruchio embarrassed himself and ruined his image, Petruchio ran off to his house with Katherine in the midst of his wedding, saying that Katherine is his property now. Then, the “Taming School” started.

When they arrived at the Petruchio’s abode, Petruchio immediately started scolding the servants, saying that, “the food is burnt,” or “ the bed is dirty.” He was actually doing this to starve and immobilize Katherine, so at one point, she would become helpless/desperate, finally succumbing to Petruchio. This carried on until at a point when Katherine actually came to love Petruchio, regardless of what he had done. Therefore, Petruchio, is showing signs of accomplishment as it is quite imminent the change that Katherine has gone through.

Furthermore, it has been recently reported by an unidentified source that whilst Petruchio and Katherine were heading to the wedding of Bianca/Lucentio, they got into a minor scuffle regarding the sun and moon. As they were walking, one of them said that the moon was in the sky, while one of them was stating that it was the sun looming in the sky. This argument continued until finally Petruchio succumbed, and agreed to Katherine, agreeing that it was the sun. In the end, he has tamed her, so he is successful. Katherine even stated that, “Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee,And for thy maintenance commits his bodyTo painful labour both by sea and land,To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe,And craves no other tribute at thy handsBut love, fair looks, and true obedience,Too little payment for so great a debt.” (shakespeare.5.2.155-163)

The conclusion to this article is quite simple. In the end, the marriage of Petruchio and Katherine is highly successful for both of them. If you analyze the situation, Petruchio was really desperate for a wife. BAM! He got Katherine. Katherine was in dire need of a “tamer,” she was found by Petruchio. At the end, it’s a win-win for everyone. And at last, the couple finally was attracted to each other. Therefore, the Petruchio/Katherine marriage has turned out to be quite a success.

What seemed bad turned out to be

good! Zohayr Khan

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Interview Corner:Bianca’s Fairy tale

wedding!

With Bianca a happy wed, we look at what took place to make it a success. Today we are discussing with the infamous Kim Kardashian (please take note that the

Bob: “Hi Kim, thanks for coming.”Kim: “Hi Bob how are you?”Bob: “I’m well thank you. So just last week we found out that Bianca Minola was going to marry. What were your initial reactions?”Kim: “Well first of all I was happy on her ways, but when I heard that she had been played by her boyfriend and still willing to marry. I was surprised and thought of her as a baggage of no standard.”Bob: “I couldn’t agree with you more. As you said in your last tweet: ‘Bianca’s wedding sucks, see y’all later…’ Could you compare your wedding to Bianca’s?”Kim: “Yes, we could start of with the flowers, ‘What the heck were you thinking of Bianca?’ I mean you’re richer than me and you couldn’t find a trace of flowers at your wedding. At my wedding the cameraman fell over strings with flowers on it seventeen times.”Bob: “Are you serious seventeen times?”Kim: “Ok, you got me it was sixteen times.”Bob: “Yes I knew it I saw the wedding so many times. The wedding dress you were wearing was so appropriate.”Kim “Thank you. It was quite expensive but I felt it was necessary, to keep my husband attracted for those few hours. Also when I think of it, ‘where were all the guests Bianca?’ At your wedding there were like fifteen people of those, two of them were my husband and I.”Bob: “Yes talking about you and your husband what happened? You divorced rather quickly.”Kim: “ Don’t go there Bob, you don’t want to get on my bad side!”Bob: “Ok, Ok. How do you feel about the way the wedding turned out?”Kim: “Well taking into consideration that Lucentio totally played his dad. I think it was a disaster I mean what man cannot tell his father that he is getting married, and what lady would still marry a man who just tricked her. I was really wondering if it was some kind of silly TV show that I tweet about all the time and…Bob: “Ok that’s actually all I have time for Kim because I have to interview Katherine Minola now and how she felt about the wedding.”Kim: “Wow, really rude Bob! See y’all on Keeping up with the Kardashians and Kim and Kourtney take over NYC!”Bob: “Have a nice day everybody!”

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By Sebastian Detz

QUIZ AND GAME SECTION

Welcome to Gremio’s literature

word search!This word search contains the vocabulary of the “Taming of the Shrew”! Try your best to find all the words!

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By Zohayr Khan

by Nader Akel

Character No. 3

I am a man that came all the way from Verona. I enjoy life and like to get drunk in the weekends and sometimes before my wedding. I’m looking for a rich women to wed even if it’s a shrew. I’m know for changing my violent wife to a calm and understanding one.A quote that best describes this unknown character from the Taming of the Shrew is the following: “Then God be blessed, it is the blessed sun,But sun it is not when you say it is not,And the moon changes even as your mind.What you will have it named, even that it is,And so it shall be still for Katherine.” (Shakespeare.IV.vi.19–23)

Guess who? ______________

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Guess who?

Character No.1

I am the daughter of Baptista Minola. I live in Padua with my younger loved sister Bianca. Everybody says that I have a sharp tongue and get violent ofter especially when wedding conversations pop up. I hide my feelings behind my rude behavior. I am very hard to please. No wonder why everyone thinks I’m a shrew!A quote that best describes this unknown character from the Taming of the Shrew is the following: “I’ll see thee hanged on Sunday first.” (Shakespeare.II.i.289)

Guess who? ______________

Character No. 2

I am the young daughter of one of the wealthiest men in Padua. I have an older sister that is known for being a violent and a soulless person full of hate and jealousy. On the other hand, I am referred to as being sweet and very approachable. This is why men in Padua want to marry me. However my father refuses to see me get wed before my elder sister. Guess who? ______________

Character No. 4

I am Vincentio’s son.I am from from Pisa. I came to Padua to study at a college. I am adventurous and fearless. I fall in love with the younger sister of Katherine at first glance. I disguise myself as a classics instructor named Cambio to approach her. At the end I win her heart. A quote that best describes this unknown character from the Taming of the Shrew is the following: “'Hic ibat,' as I told you before, 'Simois,' I amLucentio, 'hic est,' son unto Vincentio of Pisa,'Sigeia tellus,' disguised thus to get your love;'Hic steterat,' and that Lucentio that comesa-wooing, 'Priami,' is my man Tranio, 'regia,'bearing my port, 'celsa senis,' that we mightbeguile the old pantaloon.” (Shakespeare.III.i.107-111)

Guess who? ______________1. Katherine 2. Bianca 3. Petruchio 4. Lucentio

By Nader Akel

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By Zohayr Khan

by Nader Akel