EMAILS FROM EGYPT

Part 1 - DEC 26, 1999 - GREETINGS FROM THE LAND OF THE SANDHi All.. Belated Merry Christmas! Isn't this something! Right now, I'm at the Nile Hilton at a cyber cafe while having a 'forbidden' beer and sending this message. Can't get alcohol outside the hotels as it's Ramadan.. My friends and I had a traditional English Christmas yesterday; the turkey, the gifts, Xmas stockings, etc. The turkey we ate was walking around Christmas morning and by 12 noon, the chicken man whacked him and brought him to Jackie and Ahmed's house! The Nubian cook, Mariam, came to cook and we all pitched in! It was really something with 3 languages going on... Nubian, Arabic and English! Filmed it all. Ahmed is quite a lot of fun, and not at all how I pictured him to be. He is a strict Muslim, but we are getting along great and joking and laughing a lot. No alcohol allowed in their home however. I am missing my nightly glass of wine with dinner! Jackie looks older, like myself, but is still the Jackie I remember. We have a lot of catching up to do!

Jackie and I took the Cairo subway today from Maadi and traveled into the main center of Cairo. I was stared at constantly! Hey! It's the most attention I've got in years! LOL! Visited the Egyptian Museum today and almost hyperventilated when I first got there, as I couldn't believe where I really was. EVERYTHING in there is REAL...! No reproductions or artificial stuff... The REAL TUTANKHAMUN JEWELS, THE REAL TUTANKHAMUN MASK... etc.!! Mindboggling and breathtaking. Will have to return another day as it closes early for Ramadan. Then Jackie went home, and I walked around by myself from the main square in Cairo. Walked for blocks down streets only my movies can describe. More staring.

Some young guy befriended me and invited me into his shop to have tea as he said he lived in Scotland for awhile and wanted me to sign his tourist book... While he was getting the tea, I got skittish, and dashed out ....! He probably meant no harm, but I didn't feel totally comfortable, thinking the doors could lock at any moment, and I might be having more than tea! I'm at the Nile Hilton now to catch my breath, then will do a little more walking around, before I catch the subway back to Maadi. From the subway, I will catch a cab to Jackie and Ahmed's house.

Jackie and Ahmed have 4 cats, so at least I feel like I have my surrogate kitties. They are named, Bingo, Cuckoo, Mish Mish and Sem Sem, who I keep mistakenly call Phen-Fen!! LOL!! ha-ha!! Cuckoo slept with me last night and they are such gorgeous cats and well taken care of. Not like the cats that run wild in the streets. Many of them are blind and very small from lack of good nutrition. Ahmed goes down and feeds the strays every night. I'm filming and also taping my experiences here, which as you can guess, I will transcribe when I get home. I don't have to make the bed, as Miriam does everything at the El-Sherbiny house. She ironed my outfit the other day and brings me coffee in the morning! I'm going to get spoiled.

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Had two Christmases... Celebrated the traditional western Christmas Eve on the 24th by going to a Christian non-denominational church in Maadi with a congregation from all over the world. It was wonderful! Sang Christmas carols and in front of the church was a huge decorated Christmas tree. On the 25th, I celebrated with my friends at their house with a traditional English dinner and plum pudding and opening presents .. Then on January 6th, orthodox Christmas Eve, I took myself to 2 Coptic churches. I had planned on going to just one, but when I got to the old part of Coptic Cairo, I saw a sign on a wall pointing the way to the 'Church and Original site of where the Virgin Mary and Joseph stopped on their way through Egypt"..! I thought that sounded fascinating and decided to follow the sign, but noticed that it led underground! Saw two young boys going down the steps into this dark narrow tunnel, and being the adventurer that I am, I decided to follow them, camcorder rolling. Well, even though I am pretty brave, let me tell you that this was one scary adventure! I had no idea what I was getting into, but the curiosity and fascination kept summoning me to keep going. I went down and down and around and around narrow corridors and alleys.. I couldn't believe I was doing this by myself and alone, at night, in a part of old Cairo I could have been mugged or attacked! I was almost was ready to run back, as this narrow alley kept going on and on, and I couldn't see where it was leading to! I saw some Coptic women standing around dressed all in their black veils, so I silently gestured the sign of the cross, as in a question. They immediately understood that I was looking for the church, and pointed the way. Somehow that made me feel a bit more comfortable like I wasn't intruding. Then I then seemed to come to a dead end. What in the world, I thought. But just when I was about to give up, I saw a dim light coming from a small doorway. I went toward it. Inside was an underground Coptic church, lit only by candlelight, very ancient, and the service was about to begin! Precious icons filled the sanctuary, flickering in the candlelight, and I could hear distant chanting coming from an inner sanctum behind the altar. My heart was pounding, wondering if I was going to be thrown out or what. But when several people sitting in the pews just turned and looked at me and smiled, I knew it was ok. I sat in the back row, petrified, afraid to move or breathe. This was unbelievable. I was witnessing something I'm sure most tourists would never see, let alone ever know existed! This was an authentic ancient Coptic service! The priest was an old man with a long beard, who resembled Rasputin! He carried an incense burner with real flames coming out of it! As he swung it back and forth, the smell of incense permeated the sanctuary, and I began to feel so privileged to be in such a holy place on Christmas Eve. The Coptic language is said to be the closest sounding language to what the ancient Egyptians spoke, and their hymns and rituals were eerily similar to all that I've studied about Egypt! They rang bells and chanted, and for a moment in time, I was in ancient Egypt. As the service wore on, I got braver and filmed the whole thing! I stayed there for about an hour, and then quietly left. After that, I went to another Coptic church up the road, which is more publicized. Even that one was something to behold! There, I stayed and witnessed another whole service. The priest even blessed me as he walked around the congregation swishing the incense burner! I have all that on film too! Even the smoke of the incense!

On the 30th, I have a brunch date at a French restaurant in Maadi with some people who are fans of Jean-Michel Jarre, the artist performing at the Pyramids. Then after brunch, we all will go out to Giza by special VIP buses to see the setting up of the extravaganza. I then will be staying out at Giza area at the Europa Hotel until Jan 4. I will then come back to Maadi, Cairo to stay again with Jackie and Ahmed, and then on the 9th I set off by myself by train from Cairo to Luxor, where I will be spending 10 days. On the 18th

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January I head back to Cairo, stay with Jackie and Ahmed until the 22nd Jan when I fly home. I must dash now, but I will keep in touch. Email me too, either at neferka@prodigy.net or asherbiny@infinity.com.eg as I will be checking email often... Farewell for now, from the land of the Pharaohs....!

Ka-Ren

Part 2 - JAN 7, 2000 - RAMALAMA DING DONG RAMADANSalaam from the Land of Sand! This is your friendly Cairo correspondent communicating to you via Coptic Computer......! Didn't get to finish my email yesterday as this Ramadan thing interrupts everything! I am feeling a little better today, and went up to the Khan El Khalili Bazaar with Jackie today. Complete pandemonium and chaos, but that is why it is so famous! If the sellers see you barely eyeball something out of the corner of your eye, you instantly become their sales target! "Lady, you want to buy caftan?" "Please buy, Lady", etc, etc. It can get really wearing...

But today is the last day of Ramadan and therefore, everyone is celebrating with music, feasts and parties. Tomorrow they dress up in new clothes and visit relatives, sort of like our Xmas. It was one crazy party down at the bizarre Bazaar today! One guy couldn't get his truck out of a tight spot, so a bunch of guys picked up the truck and moved it sideways!

As I left off in my last email, my new book will be titled "How I Lost my Gold Lame' Bra on the way to the Pyramids"......!!! Let me tell you, at the time, it was NOT funny....! Getting to the Pyramids the night of the Millennium turned out to be a TOTAL FIASCO. The travel agency promised us bus transportation from our hotels to the Pyramid site.. But at 4:00 pm on the afternoon of the Party, I got a call from a Miss Fadwa saying "Miss Karen, your hotel is not on the list'... !! She advised me to take a cab to another hotel, the Meridian, ask for 'The Shooting Club' and to make sure I only get on the bus with a red sticker! Well, getting a cab was bad enough around 5:00 pm as it was the Ramadan IFTAR 'break-fast' din din hour. No one was around, as they had all gone home to eat. When I finally did catch a taxi, the guy looked at me with a blank stare when I said I needed to go to the Meridian Hotel's SHOOTING CLUB. We somehow made it to the Meridian, and I couldn't see anywhere that said "Shooting Club". I asked everyone from policemen who were leering at me dressed as I was in my Nefertiti outfit, gold shoes and all, the hotel staff, and people in the street! NO ONE EVER HEARD OF THE SHOOTING CLUB! Now, I was starting to get nervous as it was getting later and later. One policeman gestured to me to "go down that street there...". Not knowing what else to do, I started speed walking down this dark Islamic street, with dogs barking, and more policemen leering at me! I saw several types of buses; short buses, long buses, police buses.. But which bus was mine!!!!?? Achhhh! It was getting later and later! Just as I was running trying to find the right bus with the red star, my gold lame halter bra's Velcro decides to give out! There I was in my dressy Nefertiti-like outfit with a flapping-in-the-wind gold halter bra, running back and forth from bus to bus saying "I've GOT to get on the $400 ticket bus!" (Lucky I had a cape on, but it wasn't covering much!!!) Meanwhile over by all these myriad of buses, the drivers kept saying ''Lady, No problem, no problem, this bus going to Pyramids!" I got shuffled onto a small bus, and immediately knew something was very wrong. There I was looking like Nefertiti in gold and turquoise, exotic eye makeup and the works, and around me was a bunch of hippies with backpacks! I knew there and then

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that I was on the 'Cheap Tickets Bus'! I was supposed to be sent to the VIP Tent #13 on the $400 ticket air-conditioned bus via the SHORT route - instead I got stuck onto this $50 ticket bus that went the long, long, looooong route around the back side of the Pyramids! It took so long, I thought we were going to Afghanistan! The security was unbelievable, partly due to terrorism fears and partly due to the fact that President Mubarek and other dignitaries were attending. We went through so many Check-point Charlie’s that I thought they would do a body search and find my smuggled flask of wine under my waistband!!! (No alcohol was served up at the Pyramids since it was Ramadan.... fooey)... When we finally got up to this desert area that looked like a military encampment, I found a whole bunch of other dressed-up $400 ticket people milling around like lost souls who also got on wrong buses! It was chaotic to say the least. After getting us buses to the tent area, which was miles from the cheap ticket area, they got me in a tent and seated with my coat checked. Then all of a sudden they realized I didn't belong in that tent! Damn! Too bad, since it was President Mubarek's VERY VIP tent!! (I heard that Oprah and Liz Taylor were in that tent too! But who knows. Drat... Wished I could have stayed there! Anyway, had to get up from table, retrieve my coat, and hobble in heels over desert sand to another tent that seemed miles away. By the time I got to the right tent, I felt as if I had been run over by 5 camels and a donkey! The food was superb and top notch, catered by 5 star hotels... SO MUCH FOOD! We all had goodie bags under our chairs with hats, blowers, confetti, etc. in them. To watch the concert, however, we had to go outside the tent, and the stage was so far away, that we think the cheap-ticket people got to see more than us, since they had to stand up front. It was SO COLD, we froze our (pita) buns off! Then of all the weirdest things, FOG (yes, fog in Egypt!) started to come in, which all the Islamics are saying that Allah had willed on us for the Infidels that we were to 'defile' the sacred Pyramid site celebrating such a western-civilization event, especially during the holy month of Ramadan. They said that never had they ever seen fog this bad in Egypt!! Really bizarre. Remember, the Moslem world, along with Jews and the Chinese, do not go by the Gregorian calendar, therefore, the year 2000 has no meaning to them. The year 2000 is a Christian-based idea. So the Moslems were very against this event, and hence the fog was Allah's revenge....! In fact, one Islamic bigwig managed to get the helicopter lowering the gold capstone on at midnight canceled. A lot of us were disappointed about that one. In any case, I along with maybe 100 other people lasted through the dense fog and cold desert night wind til 6:00 am after Jean-Michel Jarre's closing sunrise concert at 5:00 a.m. But it WAS WORTH IT to see the Pyramids come out of that fog to Jarre's eerie and haunting sounds and lasers and fireworks in dawn of the new millennia!!! What a sight! A surreal and magical once in a lifetime happening! Good or bad, I am glad I got to be a part of it. But I never realized I could be SO COLD in Egypt! Now I've got a bad cold chest cold and feel really ill. Coughing, running a fever, etc. Unbelievable.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Part 3 - JAN 11, 2000 - VALLEY OF THE RINGS AND KINGSGreetings from Luxurious Luxor! (Ancient Thebes) After a 10-hour train ride - in 2nd class - from Cairo, I arrived here in Luxor Sunday night. 2nd class was an experience in itself.. Rode with Bedouins and people with packages on their heads and kids with snot running down their nose... There was a restaurant car on the train, and a man comes around every so often with tea and goodies, somewhat like the Trans-Siberian. Also somewhat like the Trans-Sib, were the toilets.... Oh my Allah...you don't want to know!! But when

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you gotta go, you just take your Kleenex and/or toilet paper with you, hold your nose, and shut your eyes!!

I was a little fearful about what kind of hotel my travel agent from Cairo had booked me into in Luxor, after my disastrous stay at the Hotel Europa (I call it Eur-Rippa) in Giza. They had said the hotel had a view of the Pyramids, but you would have had to stand on a chair on the roof to see it! Then the pool had about only 1 foot of sludgy gunky water in it, and the deck chairs were thrown into one broken heap. It looked as if Hurricane Hugo had blown in just the night before. My room had a small balcony, but the door to it would get stuck on the carpet and it wouldn't open more than 2 inches! Just as well, as the only thing on the balcony was a dead bush with a deck chair upside down IN the bush!! On the lampshade beside my bed someone had scrawled "PLO"....! The lobby of the hotel was decorated (if one can call it that) with tacky Christmas ornaments and tinsel and Santa cutouts. But the best was the Christmas Tree they had..... They had taken one tree, sawed it down the middle, and put each half next to different walls! It was already dying, and the branches were drooping and losing needles. To really add a nice touch, it looked as if someone had thrown the ornaments and tinsel onto it from 20 feet away! On top of all that, I found out later that a couple of years ago, it was the Hotel Europa that had terrorists massacre about 15 Greek tourists in the hotel lobby thinking they were Israeli. Nice.

However to my amazement, when I arrived at the Sonesta St. George in Luxor, I almost fainted from relief! It's gorgeous and modern, and is a 5 star hotel. It has 6 or 7 restaurants, nightclub, and a pool to die for. My room is fantastic.. It overlooks the Nile, has a fridge and safe deposit box and I get CNN and BBC on the TV, as well as TV from Lebanon and Dubai. The bathroom is ultra modern and even has a hair dryer.

The first thing I did the night I arrived is had a hot bubble bath and washed my hair. Felt so good to get clean after that train ride! Had a major problem with my tape recorder... Seems that when Karen Klutz dropped it in the King's Chamber inside the Great Pyramid, it damaged something inside! It wouldn't stay on unless I held down the mike by hand really hard... Needless-to-say, that wasn't going to work if I am going to continue to do a running commentary like Karen Korrespondent has been doing. When I got to the hotel in Luxor, I told them I would have to find a new one or have this one repaired. Within one day, Mahmoud, who works at the hotel, knocked on my door with my 'repaired' Walkman. Well, it was SORT OF repaired... Seems like although it worked, there was a HUGE humming sound behind my recorded voice that resembled a bulldozer! Plus the radio still wasn't working. Mahmoud felt so bad that it still didn't work right, that he offered to take me down to Luxor's main center to see if we could find a new one. So this afternoon I hopped in his car and off we went. In our search for a shop, I got a wonderful car tour of Luxor, and even Karnak and Luxor Temples..! He even took me for a soft drink in this cafe and then we smoked shisha, the water pipe. You can put all types of flavored tobacco in the water pipe and we had one that was apple! It definitely was an experience! In any case, we finally found a shop where I found a pretty good "AIWA" brand for $45. It doesn't have an am/fm radio but it does record and that's the main thing. Anyway, talk about service! He went out of his way, and was totally nice about it.

The only 'scarab' in the ointment of this trip so far is the nasty head and chest cold I got during the Millennium event. I HATE IT! I am wheezing, coughing, hacking, sneezing and nose-dripping all over Luxor! It is really sapping my strength and energy. It just won't go away. I look and sound awful and STILL the Bedouins want me.... ha-ha!

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I sat out at the pool today which is just beautiful. The night I arrived, I saw the pool all lit up, by the light of the crescent moon (which ended Ramadan) on the Nile. It was perfect, except for one thing... NO YANNI !! Where in Amun's name is Yanni??!!! Luxor is romantic, unlike Cairo, which is dirty and crowded and such a hassle. This is the Egypt I love.. Luxor is tropical and warm.. No smog, no fog and a much more mellow people and lifestyle. The pool area is so gorgeous that it's very easy to want to just sit around sipping the cantaloupe drinks and forget about sight-seeing. But I know that the West Bank awaits me with all the tombs and temples, and I will have to get off my butt to see it all. But because of this chest cold and feeling so unwell, it would be very easy to just stay close to the hotel and pool. However, tomorrow I shall leave early to go up to Karnak and Luxor Temple. I'm debating whether to see the Valley of the Kings on my own or with a tour. There are so many tombs to see and they can be fairly spread out in the desert that perhaps I will initially go on a tour to get the feel and lay of the place... I've got to especially visit KV5, the newly discovered tomb of Ramses' sons, which consists of hundreds of chambers. Egyptologist Kent Weeks discovered this tomb and it has been written up in Natl. Geographic, etc. Greatest discovery since Carter discovered Tut. The tomb is not yet opened to the public as yet, as it's still being excavated, however, I'm hoping to see the dig in progress or perhaps even see Weeks and/or his wife out in front cleaning the pottery shards. I met Weeks twice in person at UC Berkeley when he gave lectures on this tomb. Read his book, called "The Lost Tomb"....it's fascinating.

If you are wondering why I titled this email "Valley of the Rings....", it's because yours truly got sucked in to the gold section of the Khan El Khalili Bazaar in Cairo and a strange, primitive and ancient force came over her, forcing her to buy 2 gold rings and a gold bracelet! I got a gold cartouche ring and another gold ring with a lapis lazuli stone. The bracelet is in the shape of an Ankh with turquoise... The gold in Egypt is real and very beautiful and relatively cheap. There were so many pieces of gorgeous jewelry in there that I had to tear myself away, before serious damage was done!!!

I haven't had any problem with food over here.. I love the shish kebabs the most and their fruit drinks. Egypt has all kinds of foods now, even a Japanese restaurant at my hotel. But there is now, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Domino's Pizza, Arby's, Chicken Hut, etc... !! Domino's even delivers! This is the Egypt I love and remember... Not very keen on Cairo.. Luxor I could stay in for months and not get tired of it... The weather is warm, not hot, about 75-80 degrees, and the Nile is so blue. Going on a half-day excursion to Dendera by boat, with lunch on board included. So much to see!

Wish I felt 100% though. Bummer being under the weather here. Well, signing off for now, as Internet access not free here... Going to go get some shish kebab! Then I'm going to find a pharmacy to get some more cough medicine...! Farewell....

Ka-Ren in Kar-Nak....----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 4 - JAN 28, 2000 - I DISCOVERED SOMETHING ANCIENT IN EGYPT........... AND IT WAS ME!!

Hello all....! 6

Well, the thing that most amazes me about being back is the QUIET....!! No honking horns, no pesty, persistent hawkers, no insane traffic, no hee-hawing donkeys, no baa-ing sheep, no loud, repetitive calls to prayer from the Islamic mosque's minarets..... I never thought we Americans could seem so QUIET!! I am slowly getting back into the American swing of things, after almost a week of jet lag and recuperation from this nasty chest infection and repeated asthma attacks. Still haven't unpacked everything. For the first 4 days after I returned, I stayed at Mom's, soaking up the good home-vibes, good home cookin' and yakking about my experiences with Mom and Marci. We watched the videos I shot in Egypt, and if I say so myself, they turned out pretty good, even though there is numerous footage of FOOT-age.!!! ...... Seems I often would forget to turn off the video, so I have great shots of my feet pounding the Cairo sidewalks and Sahara sands!!! LOL!

The weirdest, oddest thing happened when I got home... I broke out in hives all down one side of my body!!! (The Tut curse???) No, it seems Tut didn't have anything to do with this... The culprit seems to be an old blanket Mom had put under the sheets on my bed! After my first night back, I somehow woke up UNDER the bottom sheet and on TOP of this velour blanket, which somehow had disintegrated and shredded into a billion pieces! It looked as if the Tasmanian Devil got in a fight with the bed, it was so torn up! At first we just couldn't believe this blanket could come apart like this and didn't associate it with the hives which I broke out with about 30 minutes after getting out of bed!! But now, it is the only thing that we can think of that may have caused this weird affliction!! Somehow, there must have been something in that durn blanket that I was allergic to. All the tombs and mummies in Egypt didn't affect me as much as Mom's old blanket!!

Loved Luxor. Loved my hotel and the whole exotic warm environment there. It's more relaxed (if you can call any part of Egypt that....) than Cairo. I experienced A LOT. Explored the West Bank in depth... and I do mean, in depth.. Climbed down into tombs so far down that I almost got the 'bends'!! Even climbed underneath a sarcophagus to take a closer look at the hieroglyphics.

A few of the things I did in Luxor: ........

- Saw a mummy, which was probably just the tomb keeper's Uncle Mohammed who kicked the bucket from a hernia;

- Took the reins of a 'caleche' (the Luxor horse and buggies) and drove the horse all the way up the Corniche el Nil, while the real driver, nicknamed 'Casanova' kept trying to kiss my hand; and, oh yes, when I took over the reins, the horse promptly pooped!

- Ate a pigeon that still had it's head on;

- Went on a all-day cruise up the Nile to Denderah Temple sailing past people washing, swimming and 'doing other things' (!) in the Nile;

- Traipsed extensively all over the Valley of the Kings, Valley of the Queens and the villages on the west bank in the Sahara, exploring numerous tombs and temples until I resembled one big piece of DUST;

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- Went into the Tombs of the Nobles at 5:30 a.m., while the sun was rising, after having to wake up the tomb keeper who had the keys;

- Almost got attacked by a dog resembling Anubis, after he spotted me videotaping him!;

- Walked through Luxor Temple at night by moonlight - MAGIC !;

- Had one date with an Irishman and another date with an Englishman;

- Accidentally walked into a village wedding where there were TWO brides (and, yes, two grooms!);

- Tried to explain 'acrylic nails' to the Luxor beauty salon, to no avail...; - Enjoyed swimming and sunbathing at the Luxor hotel's sumptuous and gorgeous

pool and ordering drinks from the swim-up bar

- Frequently enjoyed the hotel's English style bar in the evenings, where the lounge act included a short, stocky Egyptian guy who did an Elvis impersonation....;

- Bargained and bought an Arab head-dress (kafiya), for five Egyptian pounds and my used tube of lipstick!

- Found one of my prescriptions at the local pharmacies, available over the counter and for one fourth the cost of what they would cost me in the States;

- Got so tired of being asked what my name was and where I was from by the locals, that I began telling them all that my name was Mabel from Bosnia... They would then answer, "Oh, good, good! Bosnia good!".....!!;

Returned to Cairo on Jan 19, after an all night train ride from Luxor. Went back to the Cairo Egyptian Museum for the 3rd time, since there is SO MUCH to see, plus visited the Pharaonic Village. The Pharaonic Village is a living history museum setup, where you step back into time, and pass people from pharaonic times going about their daily lives. Very good, but Disney and Las Vegas would and could improve on the whole concept. Kind of a letdown to see the pharaonic villagers dressed in their linen kilts, etc., with longjohns showing underneath!!! That's what I get for visiting Egypt in winter! One guy even had rubber thongs on his feet.. Geesh!

Stayed with Jackie and Ahmed (pronounced Ak-Med) for the last 3 days of my stay in Cairo. Went down to Ahmed's law offices and got on his computer. I was actually using Microsoft Windows in Arabic! What a kick. Helped him out with his email and his web site. On the Friday before I was to leave, Jackie had another friend from England arriving for a month's visit. So on my last night in Cairo, we combined her Arrival and my Departure into one celebration. We went out to dinner in an exotic huge tent which was actually a restaurant at the Novotel Hotel near the airport. We had drinks, ate and took turns smoking the 'shisha', or water pipe, aka, the hookah or bubble pipe. It is rather a pleasant experience since their mild tobacco is flavored with apple and honey. Said my goodbye's after that. Since I had to be at the airport at 6:00 am, and we parted company at 1:00 am, I spent my final night in the Novotel's hotel lobby waiting for my flight. Wasn't worth getting a room. While waiting there, saw another wedding, this one a

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FANCY one, ate, had a drink, browsed some more all-night gift shops and caught up with my tape recording.

The flight from Cairo to London was 5 hours, and if you don't go first class, forget trying to bend your head, arms and/or legs whilst in flight! We were so damned cramped in there that I couldn't even plug my headphone set in without poking myself in my eye and bumping the lady next to me! I honestly don't know how in the world you would reach for your life jacket under your seat if you had to! Impossible to bend more than 2 degrees!! Upon landing, I only had about an hour in London's Heathrow Airport, and I didn't have as much time as I wanted to in Terminal 4, the Transit terminal where all the neat shops are. Had to somewhat rush to get on my flight from England to USA, and was disappointed I didn't have time to go have a pint of British beer in the pub there. On the way over to Egypt, I had more than 3 hours at Terminal 4 before my connection to Cairo, and had a blast in there, shopping, eating and drinking! Why not! I knew I had a designated driver!!! LOL!

The flight home from England (almost 11 hours) seemed to take FOREVER. I kept sleeping during the flight and every time I woke up, I would discover that we still had HOURS AND HOURS of flying time to go. Between being so cramped and not having slept for over 40 hours, I begin to resemble something even a Bedouin would not touch with a ten-foot pole. British Air is ok, but the Brits are not known for their culinary skills... Who else would advertise a 'Beef Tenderloin Breakfast Grill' and have it turn out to really be a 2" x 2" square of unidentified petrified meat, baked beans (Yes!), one chicken croquette that looked and tasted like a tennis ball, and hashed (trashed?) browns that tasted like a shredded cardboard box. Needless-to-say, it took a few bourbon and 7's and Bloody Mary's to pretend that it really was 'Beef Tenderloin Breakfast Grill'!!!

It's hard to believe even in this day and age, but in the span of ONE DAY, I flew over and SAW the Pyramids, the Nile, the Swiss Alps, the Thames River in England, Scotland's Loch Ness, The Rocky Mountains, Lake Tahoe and finally the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco Bay!

I'm tired and exhausted, my camcorder is broken, my luggage is splitting at the seams and all I crave since I got back is Chinese food!

Yes, traveling to Egypt back in 1972 when I was a wee bit younger was certainly easier than it was now, where I had to keep taking my stupid eyeglasses on and off to read, whilst getting them caught in my camera strap or hat, fighting off asthma attacks and dealing with my fallen arches!! But I'm glad I did it, and life is too short to let age get in the way of enjoying life.

I'm going to try and put the audiotapes I recorded (sound effects and all) on the Internet at some point, once I learn how to do it! LOL! ....

Coming Soon to a Computer near you......

- HEAR KAREN CLIMBING AND HUFFING AND PUFFING HER WAY UP INTO THE GREAT PYRAMID!!!

- HEAR THE RICOCHETING ECHOES OF KAREN DROPPING HER WALKMAN RECORDER IN THE KING'S CHAMBER!!!

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- HEAR KAREN YELLING IN STEREO AT THE LOCALS, SAYING "WOULD YOU JUST PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"

- HEAR KAREN COUGHING AND HACKING AND POST-NASAL-DRIPPING HER WAY THROUGH THE TOMBS!!!

Part 5 - FEB 6, 2000 - THE TALE OF NEFER-ELLA AND THE GOLD LAME BRA Well, I'm still not back to my normal abnormal self....!

I found out that the chest infection I had in Egypt was, (of all things to get in Egypt!!), PLEURISY, bordering on pneumonia, and thank goodness it is almost completely gone! But I have been sleeping weird hours, and waking up at weird hours with haunting visions. One is of a little street boy who followed me for blocks in Cairo. I keep seeing his face. He is one of thousands of street children who have no home. He came up and begged and tugged my sleeve. I gave him some money, but you could see in his eyes that it wasn't enough or really what he really needed. He kept following me and following me, and now his face haunts me. He looked as if he had no soul. His face was blank, not like a child's face should be. He must have been around 7 years old. Imagine being 7 years old and roaming the streets. I'm told a lot of the street children are huffers and sniffers. It's so pathetic. For days after that, I kept thinking that maybe I should have had him come back to the hotel for a bath and food, but then I guess that wouldn't have done too much good when he'd have to go right back out into the street. But I can't get over the feelings of guilt, and I never will forget his face. Don't know how Jackie can live there and see that day in and day out. Even if one lived in the most gorgeous house in Cairo and above the level of most Egyptians, one would still have to go out amongst the people and see the poverty and chaos in the streets. There is no way to escape that. I couldn't take it. Very depressing.

One of the worst things about travel is coming back and having to unpack suitcases! Now, I have stuff that should go in my closet but won't fit! So I spent the best part of my weekend cleaning out my closet just to make room for more stuff! I must have bought about 6 caftans or so and a 'few' other things. But it seems like the clothes I initially took with me played hanky-panky in the suitcase while I was out gallivanting in the desert, and bred MORE clothes! ----- Now, there's a show topic for the Jerry Springer show.....

"ON TODAY'S SHOW...! Hear how Karen's black denim trousers blatently cheated with her very own white polyester jacket and unashamedly had an illegitimate mixed-fiber, mixed-color tank top!!!..."

Then one of the t-shirts I bought in the bazaar shrunk already after one washing, and now it looks like it belongs on the Taco Bell dog....!

I'm still working on how to upload my audio tapes to a Web site so that I can just have you go to the web site and play them over the Net at your leisure... Also working on

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putting my photos on there. It may take me awhile, but I think you'll enjoy it when I get it done.. Stay tuned...

Well, the hives may be gone and my chest infection is almost completely cleared up, but lack of energy has set in. I think it must be post-trip depression! Now, I have to get back to reality, work and paying those damn bills that Indiana Jane ran up in Egypt! I feel a little like Cinderella when her coach turned back into a pumpkin.... Except instead of losing my shoe at the ball like Cinderella did, I lost my gold lame bra at the Pyramid Millennium Party!!!! Ha Ha!!! Hmmm... I wonder if some rich, Egyptian Prince might find it and return it to me!! Knowing the Egyptians, however, he'd probably try to sell it to another tourist!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my little Nile Newsletters!

Yours sincerely, Mummy Dearest

KA-REN THE NILE IS ETERNAL

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