Empathic Listening

Office Management

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Empathic Listening Defined Listening empathically

means to listen with the intent to understand how the speaker feels in addition to understanding his or her ideas

Showing empathy involves identifying with a person’s emotions and situation, even if not in agreement with them

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Empathic Listening Defined Empathic listening is typically an effective

technique to use in emotional situations, when there is a problem that needs resolving, or if there is conflict present

The goal is to enable the listener to share emotions free from judgment or criticism

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Guidelines to Nature of Emotions Emotions serve as a monitoring system Locating the feeling source is helpful in finding

solutions Feelings are not good or bad-they just are Feelings are present in all transactions-work on

listening for them Reporting feelings is better than holding them in Most people need to increase their feeling word

vocabulary

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Feeling words to listen for…Happy

delightedjoyfulfestivecontentedcomplacentsatisfiedserenecomfortablepeacefultranquilecstaticrapturous

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Sad crestfallendespondentdishearteneddiscouragedlowdowncastdejectedunhappydepressedheavy-hearteddiscontentedmoodymopingsullen

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Angryresentfulannoyedinflamedprovokedincensedinfuriatedoffendedirritatedsullenwrought upworked upindignantirate

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Hurt injuredoffendedgrieveddistressedin painsadsufferingafflictedworriedachingcrushedpathetic

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Afraid fearfulfrightenedin feartimidchickennervousscaredshakyapprehensivefidgetyrestfulaghastterrifiedquakingcowardly

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Interested concernedaffectedfascinatedengrossedintriguedabsorbedexcitedcuriousinquisitive

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Fearless

encouragedcourageoussecurereassuredbold

bravedaringgallantheriocself-reliant

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Doubtful unbelievingskepticaldistrustfulsuspiciousdubiousuncertainquestioningwaveringhesitant

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Eager keenearnestintentardentzealousanxiousenthusiasticavidhot-headeddesirous

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Empathic Listening Formula Acknowledge Reflect Describe

Speaker Feelings Facts/Situation

“You got… upset… when you didn’t get promoted at work.”

Adapted from: Burley-Allen, Madelyn. Listening: The Forgotten Skill (2nd edition). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1995.

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Empathic Listening FormulaPhrases to help get started:

“You feel…”

“It seems like…”

“As I understand it, you sound…”

“It appears as if…”

“If I hear you correctly, you’d like…”

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Empathic Listening Example

Speaker: “I can’t believe what poor shape our finances are in. I think Karen is really mismanaging the budget and I’m worried.”

Listener: “If I hear you correctly, you feel distressed about what’s happening with the company’s money.”

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Steps for Empathic Listening1. Listen carefully to the speaker’s messages,

both verbal and nonverbal

2. Display an open, caring posture

3. Consider the speaker’s emotional state

4. Calmly reflect back what you perceive the speaker’s feelings and meaning to be

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Behaviors to Avoid Questioning or Probing Judging Criticizing Lecturing Advising Interrupting Giving autobiographical responses (e.g.

“when I was on that team…”)

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Empathic Listening Tips Be interested in the speaker Have good eye contact and

body language Minimize distractions Invite the speaker to expand on

his or her thoughts Respond in a tone that is

appropriate for the situation

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Points to Remember Empathic listening is about the speaker, not

the listener

It is not necessary to use empathic listening during an entire conversation; it is primarily a way to understand another person’s point of view

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How this relates to Veterinary Medicine It is vital that we listen to our clients. Listen to what they are saying, not just

hearing their words. Effective listening will minimize

miscommunication and future complaints. Remember pets are very emotional things and

should be regarded with care and respect.

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Example Client comes in and says that she is upset that

you have charged her $35 for a Rabies vaccination which she does not feel that she needs.

What do you do?

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Example Client comes in and proceeds to become

hysterical in waiting room about the bill.

What else do you need to know in this situation to effectively handle the situation?

What would you do?

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Technician/Office Management Tips To completely effectively listen, one should

remove the person to a quiet, separate area so that the focus can be on the client and the issue.

If possible, the office manager should be involved in the conversation.

A clear plan should be established on what can be done to solve the problem.

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Tips Continued Never say you will get back to someone and

then not!!! Always try to concretely identify the problem,

what the client wants, and then a solution that you can work towards together in a given time frame.