empathy: methods, levels & scripture
TRANSCRIPT
Empathy: Methods, Levels &
Scripture
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kGYEchc1mb4/SLMWbDT3pVI/AAAAAAAAAXw/zxwHuYr67KM/s400/empathy+pregnant+people.jpg 12/26/2009
Verbal Empathy
• Show desire to comprehend
• Discuss what is important to the client
• Refer to clients feelings
• Add on to implicit client messages
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2
Empathy
• Next 5 slides from
• http://xnet.kp.org/permanentejournal/fall03/cpc.html
3
Recognizing presence of strong feeling (ie, fear, anger,
grief, disappointment);
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4
Imagine
how the
client might
be feeling;
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State your perception of the client’s feeling
• "I can imagine that must be ...―
• (Could also be ―can’t imagine . .
.‖)
• "It sounds like you're upset about
...―
• (This could be specific ‖him
leaving‖ or general ―that‖.)
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6
Legitimizing that feeling;
• "I see.―
• "I understand.― ????
• "That’s a good point.―
• "I can see that you feel strongly about that.―
• "I can understand how you could see it like that."
http://www1.va.gov/adr/page.cfm?pg=44
7
Respect the client’s effort to cope with the predicament
8
Offer support and partnership
– "I'm committed to work with you to ...―
– "Let's see what we can do together to ..."
9
Nonverbal
Empathy
• Direct
eye
contact
Used w
ith p
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on
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10
Nonverbal
Empathy
• Forward-
leaning
body
position
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11
Nonverbal
Empathy
• Open arm
position
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2.0</a></div> it12/27/2009
12
Nonverbal
Empathy
• Pacing
c) 2002 Riverdeep Interactive Learning Limited, and its licensors. All rights reserved.
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Riverdeep Interactive Learning Limited.
Portion of images
13
Levels of Empathy
• Feelings, content, deficit & possible action
• Feelings, content, and deficit
• Feelings and content
• Content or
feeling only
• Questions
or denial
Denial F or C F & C F, C & D F, C , D & A
14
No Empathy
• Response is
– Question
– Denial
– Reassurance
– Advice
• ―You did what?‖
• ―Don’t get upset‖
• ―It will be all right‖
• ―Tell her what you think‖<div xmlns:cc="http://creativecommons.org/ns#" about="http://www.flickr.com/photos/crystaljingsr/3914729343/"><a rel="cc:attributionURL"
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15
Level 1 Only Feelings or Content
• All else
ignored
• ―This is
upsetting‖
• ―It
happened‖
c) 2002 Riverdeep Interactive Learning Limited, and its licensors. All rights reserved.
ClickArt, the ClickArt figure, PrintMaster and Broderbund are registered trademarks of
Riverdeep Interactive Learning Limited.
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16
Level 2
Both Feelings
& Content
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Level 3: Feelings, Content & Deficit
• Deficit—
what the
client feels
is missing
in their life
18
Level 4:
Feeling,
Content,
Deficit &
Action
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19
John is looking frustrated, Mary
should say:
A. Let me help you.
B. Let’s talk about it.
C. Why are you rejecting me?
D. You look frustrated now. We can talk
later.
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20
If a woman cries, a man should
A. Tell her the situation
is not so bad.
B. Explain why she
should not be so
upset.
C. Cry with her
D. Agree that the
situation is upsetting
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21
Listen and
Accept
Exercise
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Purposes:
• To listen without
taking things
personally
• To respond with
acceptance and
understanding.
• To help to listen
without fixing
things or
devaluing
emotions.
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Procedures 1:• Client 1 who is most
emotionally expressive
choose topic to discuss
about which you have
argued before.
• Client 1 asks Client 2 to just
listen to them.
• Client 2 listens to client 1
without offering suggestions
or minimizing feelings.24
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Procedures 2:
• Client 2 give eye contact.
• Client 2 can respond acceptingly to
feelings ex, that must be difficult, I am
sorry that is happening to you.
• Client 1 pushes the envelope getting
emotional.
• Client 2 listens but does not attempt to
defend to change anything.
25
Observations:
• Observe how you feel after expressing your
feelings
• Observe how you feel when the other is upset.
• Observe then kinds of things you are tempted
to say when feeling deeply.
• Observe how you are tempted to respond
when no response other than listening is
required.
26
Scriptural Idea:
• James 1: 19 My dear brothers, take note
of this: Everyone should be quick to
listen, slow to speak and slow to
become angry, (NIV)
27
Respond Empathically
• Steve returns to his roommate Chris and says, that is the 3rd job interview from which I have been turned down this week, I bet I will blow the rest of them.
1. Don’t worry the rest will go fine
2. I wish I had ½ as many interviews
3. I am really sorry what will you do?
4. That tough, it is really important to you to get a job.
28
I Peter 3:8
• Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one
another; be sympathetic, love as
brothers, be compassionate and humble.
29
2 Corinthians 11:29
• Who is weak, and I do not feel weak?
Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly
burn?
30
Philippians 1:7
• It is right for me to
feel this way about all
of you, since I have
you in my heart; for
whether I am in
chains or defending
and confirming the
gospel, all of you
share in God's grace
with me.
31
Acts 21:13
• Then Paul answered,
"Why are you
weeping and
breaking my heart? I
am ready not only to
be bound, but also to
die in Jerusalem for
the name of the Lord
Jesus."
32
Romans 12 :14-16
14 Bless those who
persecute you; bless
and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those
who rejoice; mourn
with those who
mourn.
16 Live in harmony with
one another
33
"That's it, I'm leaving. I hate my
husband, he hates me and so
does my mother in law. I don't
know where I'm going or how I
can support myself but I can't
stand it one more minute and I
don't care what anyone says."
1. "You can't leave. You don't have any money. The holidays
are coming up. You'll get over this in a few days. You're just
angry.―
2. ―You sound really desperate.
Can you tell me what happened?―
3. "When my ex was acting like a jerk I used to check into a
hotel and wouldn't tell him where I was. One time he called
the police on me and filed a missing person's report."
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"I'm worried about Lisa
(age 14). I don't like the
friends she hangs out
with. Whenever I
criticize them she just
rolls her eyes and won’t
talk."
1. "Don't worry. Lisa's a good kid. She has
good judgment about things―
2. "You're such a worry wart. Lets get a
pizza.―
3. "I hear your frustration and your fear. Tell
me exactly what worries you."
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