eq for geeks
TRANSCRIPT
EQ for GeeksRunWay Jan 2015
EQ and Get Rich!!
➡ 58% of performance in all types of jobs ➡ 90% of high performers have high EQ ➡ $29,000 more a year with high EQ ➡ etc etc blah blah blah
IQ is an entry requirement only
➡ short form: this stuff matters
“IQ by itself is not a very good predictor of job performance. Hunter and Hunter estimated that at best IQ accounts for about 25 percent of the variance. Sternberg has pointed out that studies vary and that 10 percent may be a more realistic estimate. In some studies, IQ accounts for as little as 4 percent of the variance”
Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) - Rutgers UniversityCary Cherniss 2000
our topics
➡ what EQ is ➡ how to start developing it
awareness: where are you right now?
Practice: A Breath
the book
two mental systems: fast and slow
(19 x 3) + 6
➡ very, very fast ➡ emotional ➡ heuristic
➡ slower ➡ logical ➡ rules based
system 1 system 2
two mental systems: people and technology
➡ fast ➡ emotional ➡ unpredictable ➡ relationship based
➡ slow ➡ logical ➡ predictable (if you do it right) ➡ not relationship based
business = people working together
(19 x 3) + 6
➡ fast and slow ➡ emotion and intellect ➡ heuristic and logical ➡ people and technology
technology startups
➡ creativity ➡ high stakes
➡ uncertainty
➡ speed ➡ vision
what are geeks good at?
(19 x 3) + 6
➡ EQ means learning the other stuff
awareness: you are not your thoughts
Practice: Counting Your Thoughts
Emotional Intelligence. Ta-dahh!
"the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions”
Self Self Awareness Self Management
Others Social Awareness Relationship Management
Salovey & Mayer 1990
Emotional Intelligence. Short Version
EQ = awareness of self and others
the book
directed attention - the not so secret weapon
➡ you have ~173 Bn bits of attention per lifetime *
* Csikszentmihalyi 2003 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0cMiX4sMvI
➡ directed, trained attention builds EQ
self-awareness 1
Practice: Finding Your Mood
self-awareness 2
Practice: Being Aware of Your Body
body strongly indicates emotion
➡ emotion: “a basic physiological state characterized by identifiable autonomic or bodily changes” *
* Delizonna 2011 (via Meng)
➡ identify your mood and emotions before/as you enter a meeting, a conversation, a discussion (or start coding!)
self-management 1
Practice: Being Aware of Your Reactions
self management 101
➡ as soon as you identify a poor reaction, STOP
➡ breath (carefully, mindfully). start again.
* Delizonna 2011 (via Meng)
social awareness/relationship management
“L’enfer, c’est les autres”
(“Hell is just – other people”)
a model of communication (one-way)
a model of communication (two-way)
communication is usually unbalanced
➡ (probably) too much emotion
unbalanced
➡ (probably) too little emotion
unbalanced and surprising
➡ woah. where’d that come from?
use this model to focus awareness
➡ be curious about the content balance in the conversation
check what you have understood
➡ be aware of what you’ve understood and what you haven’t
check what you didn’t understand
➡ check what you didn’t understand
summary
awareness of self and otherspractice directed attention to develop
