essay instruction

8/17/2019 Essay Instruction

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LOTF ESSAY – WEB & THESIS

Idea web done in

class

Thesis due Outline checked Write essay

in class

EN11

A & B

Tuesday,

February 23

Wednesday,

February 24

Thursday,

February 25

Friday, February

26

Essay Topic. Lord of the Flies is more than a simple adventure story of boys on adeserted island. The implications of the story go far beyond the savage degeneration ofa few boys. William Golding is saying something about his own epiphany on the natureof humankind, and it comes directly out of his own experience in war. Golding explains itlike this: “The theme is an attempt to trace the defects of society back to the defects ofhuman nature.” You will write a thesis statement that explores Golding’s purpose andexplains how it is achieved in the story. You may choose to discuss characterization,plot, symbolism, irony, historical setting, etc.

1. Idea Web. Your first step is to brainstorm a variety of things that you know aboutLOTF . Take a piece of paper, write LOTF in the centre, then branch off with ideas,symbols, and moments from the novel. The objective here is to capture pieces of thestory that you connected with and identify areas where you made meaning. Eachrelated idea will also have branches. Keep related ideas together.

2. Craft a thesis statement. Your thesis statement is a 1-2 sentence summary of whatyou will prove in your essay. It is a map of where you’re headed— to help youorganize your ideas and to help your reader follow your train of thought. Crafting athesis takes intentional thought and practice, but you can do this. If you likeformulas, here’s one that works:

Author & title of book + author’s purpose + 3 main points = thesis

See the thesis statements below as examples of format. Notice how each examplegives a title/author, purpose, and three ways this purpose will be proved. A thesis isusually one sentence, but can be two—focus on clarity and efficiency of wording.Because this is for a formal literary essay, you won’t use “I” or “you”. It’s moreacceptable to use “we,” if necessary. The idea behind this rule is that you aren’tgiving your opinion—you are saying what’s really going on in the book, and doing soobjectively, with support for your claims from the book. Notice how each thesismeets the requirements, but does so differently. There are many ways to do this.

In Bill Smith’s version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, he presentsGoldilocks as a symbol of humanity’s waywardness through acts oftrespassing, destruction of private property, and theft.

In To Kill a Mockingbird , Harper Lee explores what it looks like for acommunity to respond to prejudice. We see this through the eyes of children,a black man accused of rape, and a Southern defence attorney.


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Follow these steps to help you craft a thesis...

You know what the essay will be about. It’s about Golding’s purpose in writing LOTF . Ithas to do with his thoughts on the truth about human nature. That is your topic. A thesisstatement, however, tells what you believe to be true about your topic. You are clearlyidentifying Golding’s purpose. Remember that you might actually disagree with

Golding’s conclusions. That’s ok! The beauty of the literary essay is that your only job isto explain what the author is trying to say in his or her book. It’s best to keep youropinion of the book out of this.

STEP 1. State Golding’s purpose.

You are essentially completing this sentence:

In Lord of the Fl ies , William Golding is (doing this).

So, what is he saying about human nature? What is Golding doing ? Begin with a

strong verb. Is he encouraging, exploring, defining, revealing, or suggestingsomething about people? What is he suggesting?

STEP 2. Find three pieces of support. Once you have your purpose identified, findthree main ideas that you will use to prove this. Scan your web and your packet.How could the ideas that you collected prove your purpose? Think: how can youtalk about what’s interesting to you in LOTF and prove your thesis at the sametime? You have to be crafty!

Phrase as three main ideas. You need to craft these three main points in a waythat will allow you to expand on each of them. They need to be concrete, main

ideas, but not specific details. Note the difference. Remember, each main ideawill eventually become at least an entire paragraph—with quotes and much morespecific, detailed support. List your three main points in the order that you willeventually explain them.

o You’ve done this before. Remember our work on the topic of dystopia?This is exactly how you build a thesis! Together, we explored a variety ofspecific ways LOTF was becoming dystopian. Then we grouped similarideas together. We found a way to describe each group of ideas (seeunderlined words below). There are infinite ways to phrase this! Your threemain points could be captured as individual words, phrases, or key ideasof the novel.

Example thesis: In Lord of the Fl ies , William Golding creates adystopia through showing the physical, emotional, and spiritualdecay of boys stranded on a deserted island.

*Please do not use the above thesis for your essay.*Your thesis s tatement is du e tomo rrow. Please post i t ton ight to the Moodle wiki

“Thesis statement.”


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LOTF ESSAY - OUTLINING

Formal Outline. This is a way for you to organize your ideas. It is very important thatyou figure out what needs to be said first, second, third, and so forth. You must explainthis in a logical order that builds on what you’ve already said. All ideas on one topicmust be explained together and naturally progress to the next topic that is suggested.

For instance, half way through a paragraph that explains Roger’s savagery, you cannot say “Oh, yeah, Roger used to be a really quiet boy who threw rocks to miss.” This is nota logical and progressive order for information.

An outline allows you to arrange, rearrange, and expand on your ideas BEFORE youstart to write your essay. Because an outline requires constant revision, it shouldbe typed. If done well, such organization is guaranteed to help your essay. Basically,an outline is a plan that you tinker with until it’s right.

Formal outlines use Roman Numerals (I, II, III…), capital letters, numbers, andlowercase letters. Here’s what it looks like (you’ll fill in your own details instead ofwriting “first main point” or “supporting point”, etc.) I recommend using the TAB in

Word to autoformat.

I. Introduction

A. introduce essay: include book title, author, and topicB. necessary background informationC. thesis statement, followed by a list of your

main points in the order you will explain them.

II. First main point

A. supporting point

1. detail, quote, summary, or explanation2. detail, quote, summary, or explanation

a. supporting information b. supporting informationc. supporting point

III. Second main pointA. supporting point

B. supporting point

C. supporting point

IV. Third main point

A. supporting pointB. supporting pointC. supporting point

V. Conclusion…

Conclude by “pulling together” everythingyou’ve said. Do not just repeat your thesis

statement; rephrase it. Avoid saying “in

conclusion.” Your conclusion should becreative, leaving your reader with the main

idea and a sense of completeness. This is

your last chance to make a final, compelling

argument, but don’t introduce new evidence.

For background,quickly summarize

main plot. Do not

try to explain the

whole story.

Each supporting point (A,

B, C, etc) should include somedetails. Consider how you will

explain and support your main point. What evidence will you

use from the novel? How will

you explain the significance?

Each main

point shouldcome from

the list in

your thesisstatement! If

you revise a

main point,remember to

update your

thesis.


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Rules for formal outlining.

1. Follow the pattern of numbering and indentations, but make the content your own.

2. You will probably have five roman numerals (I, II, III, IV, and V), but you may havemore than five paragraphs. Each Roman numeral identifies a new main point, not

necessarily a single paragraph—it could take you more than one paragraph toexplain.

3. Each indentation means you are giving more specific information about the previouspoint. You can have as many letters (A, B, C, etc.) and numbers (1, 2, 3, etc.) asyou need. The content of your essay will determine this.

4. Arrange, rearrange, and expand your ideas! As you go, decide whether you need tomove information in order to keep all ideas on one topic together. Decide whetheryou need to move a whole section in order to keep ideas flowing in a logical order.Having an outline should also help you to not repeat yourself.

Your outline is a requirement, due tomorrow. You will be allowed to use this to writeyour essay on Friday, IF I am able to review your outline tomorrow. Print a copy andbring it to class.


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LOTF ESSAY – WRITING THE ESSAY

MLA Formatting Requirements. Your essay will be written in class with specificformatting requirements: font size 12, Times or Times New Roman, 1-inch margins. Theessay should be double-spaced, but do not skip lines between paragraphs. Create a

header that numbers all pages consecutively in the upper right-hand corner, one-halfinch from the top and flush with the right margin. The essay must be at least two, nomore than four pages long.

1st Page Info and Header . Don’t make a title page—we use enough paper already. Create a header that numbers all pages consecutively in the upper right-hand

corner, one-half inch from the top and against the right margin (In Word, go Insert ,then Header )

Provide a double-spaced heading in the topleft corner of the first page that lists your name,your teacher's name, the course, and the date.

Centre a title below the heading, andbegin your paper immediately below the title.

CAUTION. A literary essay is not about youropinion. Avoid using the word “I”. You, of course,are free to privately agree or disagree with WilliamGolding’s ideas. In this essay, however, you needto show me that you understand Golding’s purpose in writing LOTF. You need toexplain how he shows the book’s themes and ideas.

WORKS CITED.You will include all your sources in your alphabetized works cited list. A source is any material—books, websites, etc.—that you depend on for information in your essay.Create this in MLA format.

It’s best to use the References tab in Word because you will be able to doparenthetical citations more easily (see below). Choose MLA format.

OR use a works cited generator like Bibme.com, but double-check that theinformation they automatically generate is mostly filled out. Choose MLA format.

Here what a works cited entry looks like for a book:

Hemingway, Ernest. The Old Man and the Sea. Toronto: Simon & Schuster, 1995.

Author, lastnamecomes first

Title ofbook initalics

Nearest city ofpublication

Publisher, followed bythe most recent yearof publication.

Brown 1

Mary Brown

Ms. Vande Kraats

EN11B

02/26/16

Goldilocks and Civics 101

Victor Bargo’s story Goldilocks and the Three Bears

may be a long-cherished fable, but on closer inspection it

proves to be a tale of tresspassing, self-indulgence, and


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PARENTHETICAL CITATIONS (page numbers inside parentheses)In addition to a wor ks cited, you need “citations” where you tell your reader where yougot each piece of information. Citations are written throughout your essay. If youuse more than one source, you will need to include the author’s last name in eachcitation. If you have just one source (Lord of the Flies), page numbers are all you need.You should always cite information that is quoted. You may need to cite information that

you have summarized, if it is not basic plot description. For instance, if you are showingyour reader a detail that might have been overlooked. Note how the following citationsare done…

Two sources ormore:

Ralph said, “That was murder,” (Golding 156). Even though herecognzied the evil, he was powerless against it.

One source: Ralph said, “That was murder,” (156). Even though he recognized theevil, he was powerless against it.

Paraphrase, onesource:

The story assumes that the boy with the mulberry-coloured birthmarkdied in the forest fire, even though the boys avoid the subject. Later,

Piggy states his understanding more directly (384).

LONG QUOTES. If your quoted passage takes up five lines or more when it appears intype, you must introduce the quote with a colon and begin the quote on a new line,indented two tabs. Do not use quotation marks to introduce a long quote. In theexample below, note how the citation for a long quote is different.

BRACKETS. Use brackets and an ellipses […] if you leave out part of the quote. Alsouse brackets if you have to substitute a different word for clarity. Brackets [ …] aredifferent from parentheses (…). Writers use parentheses to insert comments that areaside from the main point, like I do in the next sentence. (This is important stuff!) If youuse parenthesis inside a quote, your reader will assume the parenthetical material camefrom the author you are quoting, not from you.

In Golding’s world, even the most innocent boys are at risk of a consuming savagery that

seeks the right to control others and impose suffering on them. Henry, a littlun, has very little

control, but he enjoys it to the fullest:

[Henry] poked about with a bit of stick […] and tried to control the motions of the

scavengers. He made little runnels that the tide filled and tried to crowd them with

creatures. He became absorbed beyond mere happiness as he felt himself

exercising control over living things. He talked to them, urging them, ordering

them. Driven back by the tide, his footprints became bays in which they were

trapped and gave him the illusion of mastery. (61)

NOTE: You ought to carefully select several quotes tosupport your ideas, but no more than 10% of your essayshould be quotes. The majority should be your ownexplanation.

Note: for a long quote,the period goesbefore theparenthetical citation.

The originalquote beginswith “He”. Ihavesubstituted the

name “Henry”for clarity.


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THE PARAGRAPH

To be well organized, pay attention to your paragraphs! These are the building blocks ofthe essay. Basically, each paragraph should contain and flesh out a main idea from theoutline. Tips:

The first (introductory) paragraph should announce clearly the purpose of theessay and list your main points in the order that you will explain them.

Each paragraph should be at least a quarter to a half page in length, but not toolong or the reader will get lost.

Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that summarizes its one mainidea. The paragraph should not trail off into other ideas. Be organized!

Each paragraph should have the same basic structure.1. Start by stating your main point2. Next, provide evidence of your main point (a quote or summary).3. Finally, explain your evidence. Why does your evidence explain your point?

Scout learns more valuable lessons through experience than through her formal

education. At school, she is not allowed to learn naturally. In fact, Miss Caroline restricts her

reading habits. Although she learns the word “democracy” at school, Scout

witnesses the failure of the justice system when Tom Robinson is tried and found

guilty. After Bob Ewell’s attack, Scout learns the necessity of bending the law for a

higher cause. That night she lives Atticus’s advice of learning to stand in another person’s shoes.

For the first time, she treats Boo with dignity, escorting him home arm in arm. After standing on

the Radley porch, she says “there wasn’t much else left for us to learn, except possibly algebra”

(279). Clearly, algebra is the less important lesson.

CONTENT & ORGANIZATION

Make sure it is easy for your reader to understand where you are going and why. Readyour writing out loud to catch parts where a reader might “stumble” and have to reread.

Quotes. Do not use a quote unless you explain it! Always explain who said it,why it is significant and how it contributes to the point you are making. A quoteshould NEVER be included without proper explanation. It is your job to explain orelaborate on evidence in order to make it meaningful.

topicsentence

evidence &examples w/explanation


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Transitions & End Focus. So how do you move from one idea to the next?When writing does this well, we say it has strong transitions or smooth flow.Here’s the trick: sentences often say the most important thing last. The nextsentence picks up that idea and then connects it to a new idea, and so on. It’slike playing dominoes. The challenge is to make clear transitions withoutsounding like a 3-year old who repeats himself. It’s important to use a variety of

vocabulary. Also, use “transitional” words: however, since, although,regardless, as a result. Transitional words can be used anywhere, but they’remost important when moving from one paragraph to the next.

TIPS FOR FORMAL ESSAY WRITING

1. Watch out for verb tense shifts. When telling a novel’s story, always speak in presenttense, as if the action is currently happening.

X The boys become so savage that they would be willing to do just about anything;they even killed Simon and planned to sacrifice Ralph to the beast.

The boys become so savage that they are willing to do just about anything; theyeven kill Simon and plan to sacrifice Ralph to the beast.

X At first, the boys tried to be organized. As time goes by, Jack started to slip.

At first, the boys try to be organized. As time goes by, Jack starts to slip.

2. In your introduction, give the book’s title and author. Afterwards, refer to the author

by last name only and speak of the “book” or “novel”.

Golding’s novel portrays a frightening reality for humankind.

3. State ideas objectively: write statements of fact, not opinion. Don’t use firstperson:

X I believe Piggy remains most civilized. Piggy remains the most civilized castaway.

4. Do not use second person:

X You would think that Jack was worse off than Roger. Although Jack’s savagery is evident earlier, Roger proves more cruel.

5. Avoid rhetorical questions:

X Would you become savage on a deserted island? According to Golding, a savage tendency is at the core of humanity.


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MECHANICS

1. Homophones: their, there, they’re, its, it’s, to, two, too It was their fault. (possessive)Simon was not there. There were three people climbing the mountain.

They’re all in fear of the beast. (contraction for “they are”) Ralph listened to Piggy. Piggy said too much about his two health problems.

2. Numbers. All numbers between one and nine should be spelled out, except whengiving age, listing measurements (e.g. metres, feet, inches), or telling time. Alwaysspell a number if you begin a sentence with it.

Twelve-year-old boys battled for control of one tribe and about 50 acres.

3. Fragmented sentences. X Littluns were afraid of many things. Of the dark, the creepers, and the beast. Littluns were afraid of many things — of the dark, the creepers, and the beast.

4. Run-on sentences.X The littluns ate unripe fruit and they suffered the consequences. The littluns ate unripe fruit, and they suffered the consequences.

5. Comma splices.X The littluns ate unripe fruit, they suffered the consequences. The littluns ate unripe fruit; they suffered the consequences. The littluns ate unripe fruit. They suffered the consequences.

6. Missing or extra apostrophes. Apostrophes are only used to show possession or

a contraction. Possessive pronouns (hers, theirs, its) don’t need apostrophes.

It’s a story about humanity. (contraction for “it is”)

Its theme is about human nature. (possessive pronoun—no apostrophe needed)

It was the littluns’ idea (plural possessive)

It was Jack’s idea (singular possessive)

Piggy thought about technological possibilities. (plural, no apostrophe)

7. Pronouns and Antecedents. Before you use a pronoun (he, she, him, her, his,hers, they, them, theirs, it, its), it must be clear who/what you’re talking about.Pronouns replace a noun. The “antecedent” of your pronoun is the noun beingreplaced. The antecedent must come first, preferably, in the same sentence. Avoidbeginning a sentence with a pronoun, unless the previous sentence makes itabsolutely clear who or what you are talking about. Never begin a paragraph with apronoun.

ronounantecedent antecedent pronoun


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Before Ralph begins an assembly, he calls the boys to it by blowing the conch.

In the following student excerpt, pronouns are mostly clear in sentences 1-2, though itwould help to combine those sentences to make antecedents absolutely clear. Insentences 4 and 5, the bolded pronouns do not have clear antecedents.

1 Towards the end, Ralph has no one left in his tribe except Piggy and Samneric. 2 They

alone are faithful to him. 3 Jack has begun a new tribe at Castle Rock 4 Finally, he decides they

should visit to find out about it. 5 He will not rest until things are put right.

8. Misplaced modifier. A modifier is a descriptive word or phrase. Make sure thatyour modifiers are located as close as possible to their subject.

X Expecting childhood innocence, the manhunt stopped when the officer arrived. Expecting childhood innocence, the officer arrived to stop the

manhunt.

X Without any means of protection, the boulder crushed Piggy.

Without any means of protection, Piggy was crushed by the boulder.

WORD CHOICE

Use formal vocabulary. Choose intelligent words that reflect depth of thought.

1. Be objective & specific. Avoid slang, vague words, or value judgements.X Jack is just very mean and an idiotic jerk. Simon is like, so shy and totally good.

Jack is a dictator. Simon is a shy Christ-figure.

2. Avoid contractions. Spell out both words.X can’t, they’re, it’s

cannot, they are, it is

3. Avoid internet talkX Jack rolls rocks and kills pigs because YOLO!

Jack rolls rocks and kills pigs without much concern for rescue.

4. Pronoun agreement & gender —a singular subject must have a matching singularpronoun. Always attempt inclusive language (don’t exclude women if you mean toinclude them).

Avoid the following empty

modifiers: like, very, so,

just, and totally. Thesewords actually dilute your

main point and distract your

reader.

Ask: who wasexpecting, who

lacked protection?


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POOR: Man does not realize their own nature.BETTER: Man does not realize his own nature.

BEST: People do not realize their own nature.A person does not realize his or her own nature.

Humanity does not realize its own nature.People do not acknowledge that a tendency toward evil exists.

Strong Words. Strong word choice isn’t about using fancy vocab from the thesaurus;it’s about using the best word for the job. Never use a word you don’t know. Use specificand accurate verbs and nouns in the active voice. Avoid an abundance of unnecessarywords (wordiness). Get to the point.

Active: subject + verb + object.Passive: object + BE verb phrase + BY phrase (this may be absent, but implied)

Passive: Piggy’s glasses are taken by Jack’s tribe. Passive: Piggy’s glasses are taken.

Active: Jack’s tribe steals Piggy’s glasses.

X Another thing is that Simon helped the littluns. Simon also helped the littluns.

X Events between Ralph and Jack are seen. A friendship grows between Ralph and Jack.

X Something was going on between the two dominant males. Tension develops between the two dominant males.

X Lord of the Flies is about boys between the ages of 6 and 12 who crash, endingup on an island which has no other people on it.

In Lord of the Flies, young boys crash onto a deserted island.

X Gradually, Ralph’s power comes to Jack . Gradually, Ralph’s power shifts to Jack .

Forms of “be” (are,is, was, were, been)are weak &overused. Theyoften are part ofunnecessary“wordy” clauses.Revise suchwordiness.

Substitute an activeverb that givesspecifics wheneverpossible.

Strong wordchoice meansusing the fewest number of wordsto get to the pointquickly andeffectively.

Bespecific.Whatevents?Whatthing?

Use the most specific verb. In this case,power doesn’t just “come”; it “shifts”from one leader to the next.

Sometimes, when it’sespecially tricky, try

rephrasing the sentence to

eliminate the pronoun

entirely.


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