Essay Tips for the Essay Tips for the Rest of Your Life!Rest of Your Life!

FeracoFeraco

Myth to Science FictionMyth to Science Fiction

23 November 200923 November 2009

The EssayThe Essay Essays are creative documents of critical Essays are creative documents of critical

thoughtthought Thought, not summary, is at the heart of every Thought, not summary, is at the heart of every

successful essaysuccessful essay You must be sensitive to your:You must be sensitive to your:

Prompt (which ideas should you discuss?)Prompt (which ideas should you discuss?) Audience (how much do they already know?)Audience (how much do they already know?) Work (where will you find evidence to support your Work (where will you find evidence to support your

assertions?)assertions?) Passion (why write something you don’t enjoy Passion (why write something you don’t enjoy

writing…or expect your reader to enjoy it any more writing…or expect your reader to enjoy it any more than you do?) than you do?)

Form (how will your writing stand apart from the Form (how will your writing stand apart from the other hundred papers submitted on the same day?)other hundred papers submitted on the same day?)

Voice (how will you project conviction and Voice (how will you project conviction and confidence?)confidence?)

Organization (how will your structure enhance your Organization (how will your structure enhance your meaning?)meaning?)

Word Choice (how will your words strengthen your Word Choice (how will your words strengthen your message?)message?)

Conventions (how will you make this look like an Conventions (how will you make this look like an essay?)essay?)

Six TraitsSix Traits Your essays will ultimately be Your essays will ultimately be

graded according to six different graded according to six different categoriescategories IdeasIdeas Word ChoiceWord Choice Sentence FluencySentence Fluency OrganizationOrganization VoiceVoice ConventionsConventions

Some teachers weigh some Some teachers weigh some categories more heavily; I give the categories more heavily; I give the most consideration to the first most consideration to the first three categoriesthree categories

MLA GoodnessMLA Goodness This goes in your “Conventions” scoreThis goes in your “Conventions” score Make sure you have:Make sure you have:

Page numbersPage numbers Heading (date in proper format + period)Heading (date in proper format + period) Indentation for each paragraphIndentation for each paragraph Italicized titles (essay + book)Italicized titles (essay + book) Appropriate block quotes and citationsAppropriate block quotes and citations

Make sure you avoid:Make sure you avoid: Blank lines between your heading, title, Blank lines between your heading, title,

and essayand essay Odd spacing/tabbing between paragraphsOdd spacing/tabbing between paragraphs Placing your header on the right side of Placing your header on the right side of

the pagethe page

Why Bother?Why Bother? Formatting easily differentiates Formatting easily differentiates

research from original thoughtresearch from original thought Allows me (and others) to double-Allows me (and others) to double-

check your studiescheck your studies Standardizes papers across classes, Standardizes papers across classes,

especially in collegeespecially in college Different disciplines = different formats, Different disciplines = different formats,

so learn as many as you can!so learn as many as you can! Demonstrates care and attention to Demonstrates care and attention to

detaildetail Looks attractive, polished, and Looks attractive, polished, and

finalizedfinalized

Basic Tech SpecsBasic Tech Specs Most of you will turn papers in to Most of you will turn papers in to

turnitin.comturnitin.com Some teachers (myself, for example) read Some teachers (myself, for example) read

the turnitin.com file instead of the printed the turnitin.com file instead of the printed copycopy

When uploading to turnitin.com, upload the When uploading to turnitin.com, upload the actual file instead of cutting and pasting; actual file instead of cutting and pasting; pasting your text into the window strips your pasting your text into the window strips your MLA formatting (and kills your Conventions MLA formatting (and kills your Conventions score!)score!)

If you do print your essays, print your hard If you do print your essays, print your hard copies on white computer paper with black copies on white computer paper with black ink! (Glossy paper feels weird and is hard to ink! (Glossy paper feels weird and is hard to mark up, and different colors don’t do good mark up, and different colors don’t do good things to our aging eyes)things to our aging eyes)

Basic Tech Specs IIBasic Tech Specs II Times New Roman, 12-point fontTimes New Roman, 12-point font Set your line-spacing to “Double” and your Set your line-spacing to “Double” and your

spacing to 0 pt on both “Before” and spacing to 0 pt on both “Before” and “After”“After”

Margins are 1” on all sides Margins are 1” on all sides Page numbers should be a header a half-Page numbers should be a header a half-

inch from the top in the upper-right hand inch from the top in the upper-right hand corner, and include your last name (“Feraco corner, and include your last name (“Feraco 1”)1”)

You should only hit the space bar once after You should only hit the space bar once after each sentence. See? Not like this. each sentence. See? Not like this. And And definitely not like this. definitely not like this. Boo.Boo.

Indent each paragraph by hitting “Tab” Indent each paragraph by hitting “Tab” onceonce

OriginalityOriginality All of you know what plagiarism All of you know what plagiarism

is at this point; plagiarized is at this point; plagiarized papers aren’t crimes of papers aren’t crimes of ignorance. ignorance.

(Well, they are, in a way…)(Well, they are, in a way…) Write your own papers – don’t Write your own papers – don’t

“write them with someone else.” “write them with someone else.” Why would we want to grade two Why would we want to grade two highly similar essays? highly similar essays?

Make your citations clear – don’t Make your citations clear – don’t even paraphrase without even paraphrase without mentioning your source!mentioning your source!

I tend to take cheating personally…I tend to take cheating personally…and you don’t want that to happenand you don’t want that to happen

Length IssuesLength Issues Minimum page length means Minimum page length means

minimumminimum page length – it’s page length – it’s notnot optional!optional! For example, if I assign a minimum-four-For example, if I assign a minimum-four-

page essay, you won’t earn higher than page essay, you won’t earn higher than a C on the paper if you turn in a C on the paper if you turn in something that isn’t at least four pages.something that isn’t at least four pages. Remember, a B is an “above-average” Remember, a B is an “above-average”

paper, and an A is “absolutely outstanding – paper, and an A is “absolutely outstanding – a cut above”a cut above”

A paper that can’t even bother to meet the A paper that can’t even bother to meet the minimum page length is neither above-minimum page length is neither above-average nor absolutely outstandingaverage nor absolutely outstanding

So Should I Pad My Papers?So Should I Pad My Papers? No.No. If you are struggling, don’t repeat If you are struggling, don’t repeat

yourself, don’t write “filler,” and don’t yourself, don’t write “filler,” and don’t start trying to mess with your spacing (we start trying to mess with your spacing (we know how to find mistakes!)know how to find mistakes!) Do some more research so you can explore the Do some more research so you can explore the

points you’re trying to make in greater depth.points you’re trying to make in greater depth. After all, a “four-page paper” is two single-After all, a “four-page paper” is two single-

spaced pages (which is why I always write my spaced pages (which is why I always write my papers in single-spaced format at first – it feels papers in single-spaced format at first – it feels shorter!), or roughly 88 to 92 lines long.shorter!), or roughly 88 to 92 lines long.

This doesn’t even take block quotes into This doesn’t even take block quotes into account!account!

With all this said, don’t be afraid to exceed the With all this said, don’t be afraid to exceed the minimum requirement – just make sure that minimum requirement – just make sure that you have a compelling reason for writing a you have a compelling reason for writing a longer piecelonger piece

Thesis GoodnessThesis Goodness Any good analytical essay features a compelling Any good analytical essay features a compelling

thesis – this is where you attack the “Ideas” scorethesis – this is where you attack the “Ideas” score The thesis tells the reader what they’re going to The thesis tells the reader what they’re going to

readread Your thesis must:Your thesis must:

Contain the Contain the specificspecific purpose for your essay – the purpose for your essay – the point you’re trying to prove, the topic you’re point you’re trying to prove, the topic you’re exploring, etc.exploring, etc.

Be clear Be clear andand concise; an overly wordy or confusing concise; an overly wordy or confusing thesis will disrupt the reading experiencethesis will disrupt the reading experience

Be original; if the point you’re making has already Be original; if the point you’re making has already been made a hundred times before, why bother been made a hundred times before, why bother writing three pages about it?writing three pages about it?

Address the prompt. (If you can choose from Address the prompt. (If you can choose from several prompts, your thesis should indicate which several prompts, your thesis should indicate which you’ve chosen)you’ve chosen)

Good Research Will Save Good Research Will Save YouYou You’re supposed to research your subject You’re supposed to research your subject

as you write so your essays won’t be as you write so your essays won’t be shallow.shallow.

If you’re reading a book, watching a movie, If you’re reading a book, watching a movie, listening to an album…chances are that listening to an album…chances are that someone’s already done so and written someone’s already done so and written about it (especially if it’s a famous work)about it (especially if it’s a famous work)

Who wants to read a surface-level essay of Who wants to read a surface-level essay of “The Matrix?” I can just pull up a movie “The Matrix?” I can just pull up a movie review and call it a day. (For that matter, a review and call it a day. (For that matter, a movie review wouldn’t even pass muster; movie review wouldn’t even pass muster; you’re English students, and you can do you’re English students, and you can do better!)better!)

We’re trying to express original thoughts We’re trying to express original thoughts in our papers – and we can only do that by in our papers – and we can only do that by digging below the surface (which digging below the surface (which represents the obvious).represents the obvious).

This Seems Like a Lot of This Seems Like a Lot of WorkWork Not only is original thought more Not only is original thought more

interesting to read, but it’s more fun interesting to read, but it’s more fun to write as wellto write as well

It sounds sappy, but hard work only It sounds sappy, but hard work only irritates you when it seems irritates you when it seems meaninglessmeaningless Let’s face it – it’s more fun to produce Let’s face it – it’s more fun to produce

something you’re proud of than something something you’re proud of than something you just finished to get a grade.you just finished to get a grade.

What’s more, if you What’s more, if you only only write in order to write in order to earn a grade, you’ll earn a better one by earn a grade, you’ll earn a better one by working harder, writing better, and working harder, writing better, and digging deeper. digging deeper.

Plus…Plus… Research provides you with a second Research provides you with a second

foundation for your writingfoundation for your writing We all head into our essays with We all head into our essays with

preconceptions – whether they be our preconceptions – whether they be our opinions about a topic, our interpretations of opinions about a topic, our interpretations of what we just read/heard/saw, etc. – and most what we just read/heard/saw, etc. – and most people write their essays as a way of further people write their essays as a way of further justifying these preconceptions.justifying these preconceptions.

The truly wonderful thing about research is The truly wonderful thing about research is that it can both support your views and that it can both support your views and adjust them; in other words, your opinions adjust them; in other words, your opinions and ideas can change for the better if you and ideas can change for the better if you gain more knowledge!gain more knowledge!

Think of the information you know when you Think of the information you know when you first sit down to write as a primary first sit down to write as a primary foundation – and think of the information you foundation – and think of the information you discover through research as its twin!discover through research as its twin!

Using Your ResearchUsing Your Research Your main point should be clear – and you Your main point should be clear – and you

should should proveprove something conclusive with something conclusive with your writing. your writing.

To that end, it’s important to remember To that end, it’s important to remember that clarity is more critical to a paper than that clarity is more critical to a paper than anything outside of the main argument; if a anything outside of the main argument; if a writer doesn’t express himself or herself writer doesn’t express himself or herself clearly, the essay becomes nearly clearly, the essay becomes nearly impossible to read!impossible to read!

This doesn’t just apply to sentence This doesn’t just apply to sentence mechanics (although it mechanics (although it doesdoes apply to that), apply to that), but to the issues/topics/works you’re but to the issues/topics/works you’re exploring.exploring.

Your research makes it easier to make clear Your research makes it easier to make clear points by providing a framework for your points by providing a framework for your thoughts.thoughts.

While Using ResearchWhile Using Research That framework is most valuable That framework is most valuable

when it’s on the written page – when it’s on the written page – which means, at some point, that which means, at some point, that you need to insert someone else’s you need to insert someone else’s words within your own.words within your own.

Those quotes add legitimacy to your Those quotes add legitimacy to your argument or analysis (depending on argument or analysis (depending on which type of paper you’re writing) which type of paper you’re writing)

But how do you go about doing this?But how do you go about doing this?

Sources: Good as GoldSources: Good as Gold Use proper sources – the prime Use proper sources – the prime

source is the best sourcesource is the best source NONO SparkNotes, MegaEssays, SparkNotes, MegaEssays,

BookRags, PinkMonkey, etc. may be BookRags, PinkMonkey, etc. may be usedused

NONO Wikipedia entries may be used Wikipedia entries may be used NONO clearly amateur sources – using clearly amateur sources – using

Google may hurt more than helpGoogle may hurt more than help Intelligent students (especially Intelligent students (especially

undergraduates) quickly learn to:undergraduates) quickly learn to: Read books more than onceRead books more than once Research / read literary criticismResearch / read literary criticism Listen carefully during lecturesListen carefully during lectures

In-Text CitationsIn-Text Citations A parenthetical citation includes two A parenthetical citation includes two

parentheses, the author’s last name, and parentheses, the author’s last name, and the page numberthe page number

When the quote acts as the last part of When the quote acts as the last part of your sentence, write the quote, follow it your sentence, write the quote, follow it with the parenthetical, and finish with the with the parenthetical, and finish with the end mark.end mark. Orwell states that “everything is hopeless” Orwell states that “everything is hopeless”

(Orwell 6).(Orwell 6). When the quote lies in the middle of your When the quote lies in the middle of your

sentence, you still put the punctuation sentence, you still put the punctuation after your citation.after your citation. Orwell states that “everything is hopeless” Orwell states that “everything is hopeless”

(Orwell 6), but Winston’s experiences in the (Orwell 6), but Winston’s experiences in the Prole Quarter contradict him.Prole Quarter contradict him.

If you’re citing the same work twice in a If you’re citing the same work twice in a row, you don’t have to write the name row, you don’t have to write the name againagain

In-Text Citations IIIn-Text Citations II If you’re using multiple sources in the same If you’re using multiple sources in the same

sentence, you may combine the sentence, you may combine the parentheticals: (Orwell 6; Fromm 315)parentheticals: (Orwell 6; Fromm 315)

If there’s no obvious author, you may use a If there’s no obvious author, you may use a shortened version of the work’s title instead shortened version of the work’s title instead of the author’s last nameof the author’s last name Do the same thing if you’re citing two works from Do the same thing if you’re citing two works from

the same authorthe same author Use the first initial and last name of authors if Use the first initial and last name of authors if

you’re citing different writers with the same you’re citing different writers with the same last name: (M. Feraco 17) (S. Feraco 23)last name: (M. Feraco 17) (S. Feraco 23)

ItalicizeItalicize the titles of longer works, and place the titles of longer works, and place the titles of songs, poems, films, articles, and the titles of songs, poems, films, articles, and other shorter pieces in “quotation marks.”other shorter pieces in “quotation marks.” No more underlining titles (as of March 2009)No more underlining titles (as of March 2009)

In-Text Citations III: BlocksIn-Text Citations III: Blocks For quotes that are longer than three full For quotes that are longer than three full

lines of your page, you’ll use a block quotelines of your page, you’ll use a block quote The entire block quote is indented one The entire block quote is indented one

inch (two Tabs!) from the left margin, and inch (two Tabs!) from the left margin, and is is still double-spacedstill double-spaced

You don’t use quotation marks, and you You don’t use quotation marks, and you put your citation after the periodput your citation after the period

If you’re cutting words out of a quote If you’re cutting words out of a quote (especially in a block quote), use … (an (especially in a block quote), use … (an ellipsis) to show that you’ve made the ellipsis) to show that you’ve made the changechange

If you’re replacing words or letters, use a If you’re replacing words or letters, use a [brack]et[brack]et

Quote Insertion and UsageQuote Insertion and Usage We spoke earlier about the mechanics of We spoke earlier about the mechanics of

writing out a quote; here’s how you use writing out a quote; here’s how you use them (or, in this case, them (or, in this case, don’tdon’t use them). use them).

Quotes should never be blankly inserted Quotes should never be blankly inserted into an essay.into an essay.

Quotes should not need to be followed Quotes should not need to be followed by sentences summarizing and by sentences summarizing and explaining them.explaining them.

Quotes should never be followed directly Quotes should never be followed directly by another quote; your words should by another quote; your words should always separate one quote from another.always separate one quote from another.

Example of Quote InsertionExample of Quote Insertion Many of Pound’s alterations cannot be Many of Pound’s alterations cannot be

traced back to linguistic traced back to linguistic misunderstandings; rather, they stem misunderstandings; rather, they stem from his decision to serve as an “inspired from his decision to serve as an “inspired but unreliable translator” (Kenner 199). In but unreliable translator” (Kenner 199). In The Pound EraThe Pound Era, Hugh Kenner argues that , Hugh Kenner argues that Pound’s seemingly haphazard translation Pound’s seemingly haphazard translation style in style in CathayCathay is in fact meticulous and is in fact meticulous and calculated, and that the translations calculated, and that the translations themselves give him the means to his themselves give him the means to his ultimate end: to force himself to “rethink ultimate end: to force himself to “rethink the nature of an English poem” (199) the nature of an English poem” (199) through the simultaneous application of through the simultaneous application of three literary principles. three literary principles.

Notice that I never interrupted the flow of Notice that I never interrupted the flow of my words in order to include the quotesmy words in order to include the quotes They simply belong where they belong within They simply belong where they belong within

the sentencesthe sentences

Example of ParaphrasingExample of Paraphrasing Roland Barthes draws an important distinction Roland Barthes draws an important distinction

between what he deems “classical” and “modern” between what he deems “classical” and “modern” language. He defines classical language – the language. He defines classical language – the language used in poems before the Modernist language used in poems before the Modernist movement – as having continuous, linear movement – as having continuous, linear meaning. Meaning and context are important, the meaning. Meaning and context are important, the syntax is “proper” – going from one end of the syntax is “proper” – going from one end of the sentence to the other, front to back – and readers sentence to the other, front to back – and readers can understand the familiar flow of the language. can understand the familiar flow of the language. Modern language, therefore, strips its words of Modern language, therefore, strips its words of their meanings in order to give each one “a their meanings in order to give each one “a magical power; it has become complete in itself, a magical power; it has become complete in itself, a revelation in its own recesses…It is a mark of such revelation in its own recesses…It is a mark of such words that we cannot read them, but they read words that we cannot read them, but they read us, they affront us by presenting their significance us, they affront us by presenting their significance in relation to themselves.” in relation to themselves.”

(It’s usually a good idea to cite your paraphrases (It’s usually a good idea to cite your paraphrases as well as your quotes!)as well as your quotes!)

What Else Do These Slides What Else Do These Slides Show?Show? As you may have already guessed, I tend As you may have already guessed, I tend

to write longer, complicated sentences.to write longer, complicated sentences. I’ve been practicing with shorter sentences for I’ve been practicing with shorter sentences for

a while now.a while now. It never hurts to have both!It never hurts to have both!

Also, the first slide shows Also, the first slide shows whywhy you need a you need a clear and fairly specific thesisclear and fairly specific thesis The paper was written for a Pound expert who The paper was written for a Pound expert who

already understood the subject well (the already understood the subject well (the notorious Prof. Ronk)notorious Prof. Ronk)

How many of you could have guessed that the How many of you could have guessed that the paragraph contained my thesis?paragraph contained my thesis?

This wasn’t necessarily easy to read, but I’m This wasn’t necessarily easy to read, but I’m more concerned with whether you understand more concerned with whether you understand why I’m doing what I dowhy I’m doing what I do

Why Do We Need the Why Do We Need the Thesis?Thesis? Besides the fact that you need to focus on Besides the fact that you need to focus on

something something in order to write well, your in order to write well, your paper should be structured in a way that paper should be structured in a way that encourages the reader to continueencourages the reader to continue A poorly-structured essay forces the reader A poorly-structured essay forces the reader

to go in reverse, to check what they’ve to go in reverse, to check what they’ve already read in order to find their way againalready read in order to find their way again

A good thesis should contain elements from A good thesis should contain elements from the ideas that form the structure of your the ideas that form the structure of your body paragraphs – but it doesn’t have to body paragraphs – but it doesn’t have to include include everythingeverything!!

When it comes to determining your structure When it comes to determining your structure (and thesis), know your reader! I knew that (and thesis), know your reader! I knew that intro would hook Ronk, but I would have intro would hook Ronk, but I would have written that sentence much differently had I written that sentence much differently had I been writing it for you guys!been writing it for you guys!

Junior ExampleJunior Example ““Even though many are in the Even though many are in the

mindset that homework helps mindset that homework helps reinforce student learning, reinforce student learning, homework should be banned in homework should be banned in schools all across the country schools all across the country because students consider it busy because students consider it busy work, it causes stress, and it does work, it causes stress, and it does not cause significant academic not cause significant academic improvement.”improvement.”

What’s Good About That What’s Good About That Thesis?Thesis? We know what the paper will be We know what the paper will be

aboutabout We know how the five paragraphs We know how the five paragraphs

will be structuredwill be structured We know the author’s stanceWe know the author’s stance

What Should Be Fixed?What Should Be Fixed? It’s really, really long.It’s really, really long. It’s overly specific!It’s overly specific! What links exist between those topics?What links exist between those topics?

If you can find links, you can shorten your If you can find links, you can shorten your thesis!thesis!

What’s the main thrust of this paper going What’s the main thrust of this paper going to be?to be?

While it’s strong in many ways, it can be While it’s strong in many ways, it can be streamlined and enhanced – particularly streamlined and enhanced – particularly since the main thrust of the paper since the main thrust of the paper (homework should be banned because it (homework should be banned because it isn’t effective)isn’t effective) is so much simpler than the is so much simpler than the actual thesisactual thesis

In fact, that sentence works (to an extent)!In fact, that sentence works (to an extent)!

Fluff n’ StuffFluff n’ Stuff Applying this “streamlining” principle to Applying this “streamlining” principle to

the rest of your writing can help you cut the rest of your writing can help you cut down on fluff!down on fluff!

While fluff makes for excellent padding While fluff makes for excellent padding (hence down comforters, pillows, etc.), it’s (hence down comforters, pillows, etc.), it’s not nearly as useful when used to fill spacenot nearly as useful when used to fill space

Think of a hamburger: Awesome.Think of a hamburger: Awesome. Think of cotton candy: Awesome (in small Think of cotton candy: Awesome (in small

amounts)amounts) Think of a hamburger covered with cotton Think of a hamburger covered with cotton

candycandy Not awesome.Not awesome. Fluff is deadly to write and read; the act of Fluff is deadly to write and read; the act of

writing it bores you and saps your writing it bores you and saps your creativity, while audiences reading your creativity, while audiences reading your work will feel alienated or ignoredwork will feel alienated or ignored

Streamlining the Jumbo JetStreamlining the Jumbo Jet This isn’t to suggest that the long, lyrical This isn’t to suggest that the long, lyrical

sentence be permanently laid to restsentence be permanently laid to rest If this were the case, how could I continue If this were the case, how could I continue

writing my massive PowerPoints?writing my massive PowerPoints? I I lovelove long sentences – provided they’re long long sentences – provided they’re long

for a reasonfor a reason I’m merely pointing out that simplicity is I’m merely pointing out that simplicity is

not (in and of itself) “bad”not (in and of itself) “bad” In fact, some of you need to work on In fact, some of you need to work on

“simplifying” your diction!“simplifying” your diction! While many of you spent a lot of time While many of you spent a lot of time

building up your vocabularies in preparation building up your vocabularies in preparation for the SATs, you’ll find that you won’t for the SATs, you’ll find that you won’t always use “SAT words” appropriatelyalways use “SAT words” appropriately

The Careful BalanceThe Careful Balance Young writers have to walk something Young writers have to walk something

of a tricky tightropeof a tricky tightrope On the one hand, instructors often urge On the one hand, instructors often urge

you to expand your vocabulary, to diversify you to expand your vocabulary, to diversify your word choice, to avoid repetitionyour word choice, to avoid repetition

You also won’t know how or when to use You also won’t know how or when to use your new words without putting them in your new words without putting them in context – and doing so takes practice, context – and doing so takes practice, which isn’t always prettywhich isn’t always pretty

However, it’s important for you to grasp However, it’s important for you to grasp the concept of synonyms as the concept of synonyms as imperfectimperfect matchesmatches Not every synonym is interchangeable!Not every synonym is interchangeable! Remember, the person you describe can be Remember, the person you describe can be

either “wide” or “enormous” – which will you either “wide” or “enormous” – which will you use?use?

Big v. Huge v. TallBig v. Huge v. Tall, Case No. , Case No. 1717 Technically speaking, “big,” “tall,” and Technically speaking, “big,” “tall,” and

“huge” all refer to “great size.” “huge” all refer to “great size.” However, the connotations of “tall” and However, the connotations of “tall” and

“huge” are very different“huge” are very different ““Huge” seems to imply “massive”Huge” seems to imply “massive” ““Tall” implies nothing about the thickness Tall” implies nothing about the thickness

or width of the object’s frame; it merely or width of the object’s frame; it merely means said object has “great height”means said object has “great height”

If you wanted to discuss your subject’s If you wanted to discuss your subject’s build, you’d use “huge” (maybe); if you build, you’d use “huge” (maybe); if you wanted to discuss his height, you’d use wanted to discuss his height, you’d use “tall.”“tall.” As you can see, the two aren’t necessarily As you can see, the two aren’t necessarily

interchangeable!interchangeable! Always consider context and connotation Always consider context and connotation

while writing!while writing!

A Few Other Little ThingsA Few Other Little Things We’ve spent time going over stuff We’ve spent time going over stuff

that really stands out in an essay – that really stands out in an essay – theses, formatting issues, diction, theses, formatting issues, diction, etc.etc.

How about some aspects of writing How about some aspects of writing that you may not have thought that you may not have thought about lately?about lately?

Tensioning TroubleTensioning Trouble Some papers featured a great deal Some papers featured a great deal

of tense scramblingof tense scrambling This isn’t necessarily a huge problem This isn’t necessarily a huge problem

from paragraph to paragraph, although from paragraph to paragraph, although it certainly isn’t a habit you’ll want to it certainly isn’t a habit you’ll want to developdevelop

However, tense changes within a However, tense changes within a sentence can throw your readerssentence can throw your readers It’s the equivalent of putting on a left-turn It’s the equivalent of putting on a left-turn

signal before making a hard right – if you signal before making a hard right – if you give readers the opposite of what they give readers the opposite of what they expect, they may swerve off!expect, they may swerve off!

Navigating the Winding Navigating the Winding PassagesPassages While paragraph structure forms the While paragraph structure forms the

backbone of essay-writing, most writers backbone of essay-writing, most writers don’t think about a “maximum” length for don’t think about a “maximum” length for their paragraphstheir paragraphs In fact, most young writers are far more In fact, most young writers are far more

concerned with meeting a minimum length concerned with meeting a minimum length requirement for each passage!requirement for each passage!

However, you should try to have at least However, you should try to have at least two paragraphs per page (as something of two paragraphs per page (as something of a general, informal rule)a general, informal rule) If you’re paying attention to this rule, you If you’re paying attention to this rule, you

probably won’t end up writing repetitive probably won’t end up writing repetitive paragraphs; most page-length paragraphs paragraphs; most page-length paragraphs simply move in circles, or inflate their length simply move in circles, or inflate their length with unnecessary block quotes.with unnecessary block quotes.

The Brightest Bulb Burned The Brightest Bulb Burned OutOut At its core, paragraph structure is At its core, paragraph structure is

about keeping your ideas in the about keeping your ideas in the proper “order”proper “order” While all of your ancillary ideas will be While all of your ancillary ideas will be

linked by the central concept of the linked by the central concept of the paper (the thesis), you’ll probably want paper (the thesis), you’ll probably want to follow a specific/linear “path” while to follow a specific/linear “path” while writing them downwriting them down

Remember to include one big idea per Remember to include one big idea per paragraph (and a four-page paper gives paragraph (and a four-page paper gives you space for several body passages)you space for several body passages)

Dig at UsDig at Us Once you’ve established your ideas, Once you’ve established your ideas,

it’s time to really dig in, really sink it’s time to really dig in, really sink your teeth into them, and explore!your teeth into them, and explore!

Remember to explore one idea at a Remember to explore one idea at a time; if you jump from concept to time; if you jump from concept to concept too quickly, your audience concept too quickly, your audience may feel disorientedmay feel disoriented Think about how jarring it’s felt when Think about how jarring it’s felt when

I’ve been switching topics between I’ve been switching topics between slides without including transitions – or slides without including transitions – or transition statements!transition statements!

Even Diamonds Start As Even Diamonds Start As CoalCoal Don’t be satisfied with a sentence after Don’t be satisfied with a sentence after

writing it for the first time!writing it for the first time! You’ll want to keep some of them, of course – You’ll want to keep some of them, of course –

but many great sentences began their but many great sentences began their existences as inferior, messier statementsexistences as inferior, messier statements

Be willing to revisit your work multiple Be willing to revisit your work multiple times – not so often that the words start times – not so often that the words start bleeding together (or, alternately, so many bleeding together (or, alternately, so many times that everything you write suddenly times that everything you write suddenly seems terrible), but often enough to seems terrible), but often enough to reassure yourself that the essay you’re reassure yourself that the essay you’re turning in represents your finest effort.turning in represents your finest effort. Break away from the rough/final model – Break away from the rough/final model –

multiple drafts!multiple drafts!

Learn to BreatheLearn to Breathe However, don’t do all of this the However, don’t do all of this the first first time you time you

write something down!write something down! You have to be willing to get the words down on You have to be willing to get the words down on

the page before you can start worrying about the page before you can start worrying about how they look as part of the whole.how they look as part of the whole. If you don’t, you might forget something that you If you don’t, you might forget something that you

really want to say!really want to say! Don’t sacrifice your original thoughts because Don’t sacrifice your original thoughts because

you’re trying to be a perfectionist on your first you’re trying to be a perfectionist on your first passpass

Once the words are on the page, you can edit Once the words are on the page, you can edit them, rearrange them, etc. – but you have to get them, rearrange them, etc. – but you have to get a rough draft out first!a rough draft out first! It’s hard for many young writers to feel It’s hard for many young writers to feel

comfortable with simply writing what they’re comfortable with simply writing what they’re thinkingthinking

It takes practice!It takes practice!

To Summarize…To Summarize… So far, we’ve gone over:So far, we’ve gone over:

Clarity/StreamliningClarity/Streamlining Connotation/Word Choice/TenseConnotation/Word Choice/Tense Theses (Structure and Intent)Theses (Structure and Intent) MLA Formatting/Paragraph StructureMLA Formatting/Paragraph Structure Necessity of a Necessity of a RoughRough Draft/Multiple Drafts Draft/Multiple Drafts Exploration/Research/Fluff EliminationExploration/Research/Fluff Elimination

Not a bad way to start!Not a bad way to start! These are the elements you should These are the elements you should

concentrate on during your first couple of concentrate on during your first couple of drafts – honing your purpose, getting the drafts – honing your purpose, getting the words out, and moving forward to the end words out, and moving forward to the end of the paperof the paper

This gives your paper a sense of This gives your paper a sense of momentum – always helpful!momentum – always helpful!

On the Brink of DisasterOn the Brink of Disaster After you’ve done all of this – After you’ve done all of this –

established a thesis, mapped your ideas established a thesis, mapped your ideas out, written out some rough sentences, out, written out some rough sentences, streamlined your writing a bit, explored streamlined your writing a bit, explored some concepts at a deeper level, some concepts at a deeper level, revised your rough draft – you should revised your rough draft – you should be on your way.be on your way.

However…what happens if the revision However…what happens if the revision reveals disaster? What if your paper is reveals disaster? What if your paper is too short now? What if it’s too short now? What if it’s uninteresting? What if your statements uninteresting? What if your statements feel flimsy and unsupported?feel flimsy and unsupported? Hint: Revision usually reveals these things!Hint: Revision usually reveals these things!

Not to Worry!Not to Worry! Again, at the end of this draft – Again, at the end of this draft –

maybe your first, maybe your second maybe your first, maybe your second – you’ve fulfilled your length – you’ve fulfilled your length requirement (more or less), you’ve requirement (more or less), you’ve written out your main ideas, and you written out your main ideas, and you know why you’re writing (as well as know why you’re writing (as well as where you’re taking the paper)where you’re taking the paper)

Now it’s time for a different sort of Now it’s time for a different sort of editedit We call this the “blow-up” editWe call this the “blow-up” edit

Didn’t You Rant About Didn’t You Rant About Padding?Padding? Yes, but this is different.Yes, but this is different. It’s not uncommon to fall short of the It’s not uncommon to fall short of the

length requirement after a good, length requirement after a good, rigorous edit – you’ve tightened up rigorous edit – you’ve tightened up your language, emphasized important your language, emphasized important points, and eliminated your fluff. That’ll points, and eliminated your fluff. That’ll knock out a great deal of any rough knock out a great deal of any rough draft!draft! You’re a stoneworker, chipping away at You’re a stoneworker, chipping away at

marble – there’s almost no reason for a marble – there’s almost no reason for a final draft to be longer than a full rough final draft to be longer than a full rough draftdraft

Fortunately, this is where you can start Fortunately, this is where you can start adding evidence, and continue digging adding evidence, and continue digging deeper from there!deeper from there!

Little TipsLittle Tips I write my essays in a variety of ways.I write my essays in a variety of ways. Sometimes I begin by typing every quote I Sometimes I begin by typing every quote I

could possibly use for my papercould possibly use for my paper This leaves me with a few pages of quoted This leaves me with a few pages of quoted

material in an “evidence bank” before a material in an “evidence bank” before a single original word escapes my brain, and single original word escapes my brain, and helps me remember what I want to write helps me remember what I want to write about as I go.about as I go.

This makes it easier to insert quotes This makes it easier to insert quotes seamlessly into my writing as well; if I’m seamlessly into my writing as well; if I’m reviewing a paragraph, I’ll refer back to the reviewing a paragraph, I’ll refer back to the “bank” and look for quotes that support my “bank” and look for quotes that support my wordswords I’ll often delete some of my own words and I’ll often delete some of my own words and

replace them with a quote – but that replace them with a quote – but that “replacement” ensures that the quote will “replacement” ensures that the quote will mesh well with the pre-existing sentencemesh well with the pre-existing sentence

Take It to the BankTake It to the Bank The Evidence Bank may sound like a lot of The Evidence Bank may sound like a lot of

extra work to you, and it isn’t something extra work to you, and it isn’t something everyone will want to use.everyone will want to use.

However, if you’re the type of writer who However, if you’re the type of writer who struggles to incorporate evidence, or who struggles to incorporate evidence, or who doesn’t doesn’t likelike to interrupt your own writing to interrupt your own writing with someone else’s words, this is a nice with someone else’s words, this is a nice trick.trick.

It makes quote insertion It makes quote insertion easyeasy – and you’ll – and you’ll never lack support for an argument.never lack support for an argument.

In fact, you can write your entire rough In fact, you can write your entire rough draft without any evidence, then insert draft without any evidence, then insert your quotes, piece by piece, during the your quotes, piece by piece, during the intermediate drafting stage.intermediate drafting stage.

NooooooooooooooooooooooNooooooooooooooooooooooo!o! Will you end up deleting most of what Will you end up deleting most of what

you’ve typed? Yes – lots of the quotes you you’ve typed? Yes – lots of the quotes you just typed will eventually disappear, as will just typed will eventually disappear, as will much of your own earlier work.much of your own earlier work.

While this may initially strike you as a While this may initially strike you as a colossal waste of time, you can’t get too colossal waste of time, you can’t get too attached to your words during the drafting attached to your words during the drafting stage!stage!

You have to be willing to delete the words You have to be willing to delete the words you’ve worked so hard to write, even if you’ve worked so hard to write, even if you’re worried you won’t hit your minimum you’re worried you won’t hit your minimum length requirementlength requirement After all, we’re in the business of writing After all, we’re in the business of writing

effectively – and no one writes perfectly the effectively – and no one writes perfectly the first timefirst time

Again, if you have the chance to make a Again, if you have the chance to make a diamond, you have to be willing to sacrifice diamond, you have to be willing to sacrifice some coal – even a some coal – even a lotlot of coal of coal

Let It GoLet It Go Don’t be surprised if your final drafts Don’t be surprised if your final drafts

bear little resemblance to your rough bear little resemblance to your rough drafts from now ondrafts from now on

This is the hallmark of a mature writerThis is the hallmark of a mature writer I’m hard-pressed to think of a single I’m hard-pressed to think of a single

professional writer whose initial drafts professional writer whose initial drafts look look anythinganything like their finished like their finished products (which is one of the reasons I’d products (which is one of the reasons I’d kill for a chance to read Fitzgerald’s kill for a chance to read Fitzgerald’s original original Great GatsbyGreat Gatsby))

I do realize that you’re students – but I do realize that you’re students – but now is as good a time as any to practice now is as good a time as any to practice excellent writing habits. excellent writing habits.

Challenge yourself!Challenge yourself!

Final RevisionsFinal Revisions Make sure your sentences flow into one another Make sure your sentences flow into one another

reasonably well – avoid “forks in the road!”reasonably well – avoid “forks in the road!” Avoid run-on sentencesAvoid run-on sentences Don’t drown your paper in block quotes – your Don’t drown your paper in block quotes – your

writing is the most important part of the essaywriting is the most important part of the essay Beware of hyperbole and qualifiersBeware of hyperbole and qualifiers Monitor sentence varietyMonitor sentence variety Monitor your focus; if your focus differs from Monitor your focus; if your focus differs from

your thesis, edit the thesis!your thesis, edit the thesis! Let someone else look at your paper; we’re our Let someone else look at your paper; we’re our

own worst editors, especially since most of us own worst editors, especially since most of us are reluctant to read our own work aloud to are reluctant to read our own work aloud to ourselvesourselves

Avoid first-/second-person perspectives in Avoid first-/second-person perspectives in formal writingformal writing

Polish, polish, polish!Polish, polish, polish!

The Sample EssayThe Sample Essay This paper came from a senior from last year’s This paper came from a senior from last year’s

Search for Human Potential classSearch for Human Potential class It’s not an It’s not an incredibleincredible paper – it has strengths and paper – it has strengths and

weaknesses, most of which you can find on your own – weaknesses, most of which you can find on your own – but it’s but it’s reallyreally solid, and it was the first paper this solid, and it was the first paper this student had written for mestudent had written for me

It’s about It’s about SiddharthaSiddhartha, a book by Hermann Hesse , a book by Hermann Hesse about one man’s lifelong journey for spiritual about one man’s lifelong journey for spiritual enlightenmentenlightenment

Notice the degree to which the author assumes Notice the degree to which the author assumes I’ve read the book before – how much summary is I’ve read the book before – how much summary is there?there?

It’s usually safe to assume that your It’s usually safe to assume that your teacher/reader knows the plot of your book, but teacher/reader knows the plot of your book, but that they’re ignorant about the details – and that they’re ignorant about the details – and especially about the deeper significance of things! especially about the deeper significance of things!

In other words, assume they have a shallow In other words, assume they have a shallow understanding – and that you’re an expertunderstanding – and that you’re an expert

The titular character of Hermann Hesse’s The titular character of Hermann Hesse’s SiddharthaSiddhartha is defined in large part by his refusal is defined in large part by his refusal to let anyone into his life, including his father, to let anyone into his life, including his father, his best friend, and his lover. Basically, the his best friend, and his lover. Basically, the typical relationships people value seem to mean typical relationships people value seem to mean little to him. He maintains a distance from those little to him. He maintains a distance from those who care for him in order to avoid pain, and he who care for him in order to avoid pain, and he reaches adulthood without ever truly loving reaches adulthood without ever truly loving anyone. Yet this detachment dissolves once anyone. Yet this detachment dissolves once Siddhartha discovers he has unwittingly fathered Siddhartha discovers he has unwittingly fathered a son. As a younger man, Siddhartha resists his a son. As a younger man, Siddhartha resists his father, overwhelming the older man’s wishes for father, overwhelming the older man’s wishes for him with his own desire to leave; upon doing so, him with his own desire to leave; upon doing so, Siddhartha promises to return, a promise he Siddhartha promises to return, a promise he breaks. When his own son abandons him, breaks. When his own son abandons him, Siddhartha discovers a pain beyond the scope of Siddhartha discovers a pain beyond the scope of his fears. This is not a simple case of irony and his fears. This is not a simple case of irony and poetic justice. Hesse lets Siddhartha experience poetic justice. Hesse lets Siddhartha experience both love and heartache so he can understand both love and heartache so he can understand what it means to connect with the world, and it is what it means to connect with the world, and it is not until he can truly empathize with common not until he can truly empathize with common people’s experiences that he can achieve what people’s experiences that he can achieve what he seeks – nirvana, peace, and understanding. he seeks – nirvana, peace, and understanding.

Siddhartha’s journey towards Siddhartha’s journey towards nirvana is born of frustration, longing, nirvana is born of frustration, longing, and unhappiness. He feels he has and unhappiness. He feels he has nothing left to learn from the elders in nothing left to learn from the elders in his village, and he craves a more his village, and he craves a more meaningful existence. He does not meaningful existence. He does not want his father to love him, and he want his father to love him, and he cannot live that simple and pure life; cannot live that simple and pure life; he needs the “real” world of desire he needs the “real” world of desire and the ability to walk his own path. and the ability to walk his own path. In the end, Siddhartha’s father lets In the end, Siddhartha’s father lets him go, even though it breaks his him go, even though it breaks his heart to do so, because he heart to do so, because he understands that people must be understands that people must be allowed to grow. allowed to grow.

This lesson eludes Siddhartha when life This lesson eludes Siddhartha when life reverses the role he plays. Despite young reverses the role he plays. Despite young Siddhartha’s greatest efforts to break away from Siddhartha’s greatest efforts to break away from his father, Siddhartha doesn’t want to let him go; his father, Siddhartha doesn’t want to let him go; he cannot bring himself to accept that his son he cannot bring himself to accept that his son needs to go out and learn from his own mistakes. needs to go out and learn from his own mistakes. Instead, he tried to protect his son from feeling Instead, he tried to protect his son from feeling the pain that life brings, to instill his wisdom into the pain that life brings, to instill his wisdom into his child in a safe environment. This, of course, his child in a safe environment. This, of course, goes against his own beliefs, and Hesse stresses goes against his own beliefs, and Hesse stresses that parents – teachers – cannot transfer wisdom that parents – teachers – cannot transfer wisdom to those they teach: “…I have little faith in words to those they teach: “…I have little faith in words that come to us from teachers” (Hesse 18). But that come to us from teachers” (Hesse 18). But Siddhartha is blind to this; by breaking through Siddhartha is blind to this; by breaking through his defenses, his son changes the way Siddhartha his defenses, his son changes the way Siddhartha acts. No matter how hard his son pushes him acts. No matter how hard his son pushes him away, Siddhartha remains, adamant, with the away, Siddhartha remains, adamant, with the blind love that only a father can have for his son. blind love that only a father can have for his son. When his best attempts fail, his son abandons When his best attempts fail, his son abandons him, leaving Siddhartha with the same heartache him, leaving Siddhartha with the same heartache he had given his own father. he had given his own father.

The father/son relationship is crucial to The father/son relationship is crucial to Siddhartha’s character development. His Siddhartha’s character development. His detachment from the world limits him in the end detachment from the world limits him in the end because he becomes a bystander in his own life. because he becomes a bystander in his own life. He harms people by pushing them away: he He harms people by pushing them away: he leaves his father son-less, Govinda friend-less, leaves his father son-less, Govinda friend-less, and Kamala love-less. He considers himself above and Kamala love-less. He considers himself above all desires, and “he [sees] people living in a all desires, and “he [sees] people living in a childish or animal-like way, which he both love[s] childish or animal-like way, which he both love[s] and despise[s]” (Hesse 57). Siddhartha even and despise[s]” (Hesse 57). Siddhartha even claims he cannot love. Yet one must relate to the claims he cannot love. Yet one must relate to the world, understand the world, and participate in world, understand the world, and participate in the world in order to achieve enlightenment – the world in order to achieve enlightenment – which is, in the end, what Siddhartha seeks. In which is, in the end, what Siddhartha seeks. In other words, he has to love and lose in order to other words, he has to love and lose in order to understand the final element of his life’s understand the final element of his life’s meaning. That is the gift his son unintentionally meaning. That is the gift his son unintentionally gives him; this is the only relationship where gives him; this is the only relationship where Siddhartha allows himself to have something to Siddhartha allows himself to have something to lose, and he loses. lose, and he loses.

Indeed, Siddhartha’s distance is a Indeed, Siddhartha’s distance is a reflection of something deeper: his desire reflection of something deeper: his desire for control, whether over his body, his for control, whether over his body, his spirit, or his circumstances. He breaks spirit, or his circumstances. He breaks away from the life prescribed to him as away from the life prescribed to him as the Brahmin’s son; he pulls himself away the Brahmin’s son; he pulls himself away from the Elder Samana; he resists from the Elder Samana; he resists temptation at the river; he even returns temptation at the river; he even returns from the ashes after attempting suicide. from the ashes after attempting suicide. Even at that low moment, Siddhartha Even at that low moment, Siddhartha never loses control. Ultimately, he never loses control. Ultimately, he controls his suicidal impulses. There controls his suicidal impulses. There seems to be nothing, inside or outside of seems to be nothing, inside or outside of himself, that Siddhartha cannot control. himself, that Siddhartha cannot control. Then he meets his son, and he finds that Then he meets his son, and he finds that love requires more than affection. It love requires more than affection. It requires one to leave oneself vulnerable, requires one to leave oneself vulnerable, to place some control in the hands of to place some control in the hands of another. It is a terrifying bargain, but another. It is a terrifying bargain, but Siddhartha enters into it freely.Siddhartha enters into it freely.

Siddhartha’s discovery that he Siddhartha’s discovery that he cannot control his son any more than cannot control his son any more than his own father could control him is his own father could control him is illuminating. Once he discovers love and illuminating. Once he discovers love and vulnerability, Siddhartha necessarily vulnerability, Siddhartha necessarily discovers fear, and he comes to realize discovers fear, and he comes to realize how each concept is interwoven with how each concept is interwoven with the others. He pits his knowledge the others. He pits his knowledge against his hope, which in turn clashes against his hope, which in turn clashes with his fears. Hesse notes that even with his fears. Hesse notes that even once Siddhartha understands he cannot once Siddhartha understands he cannot coexist with his son, “stronger than his coexist with his son, “stronger than his knowledge was his love for the boy, his knowledge was his love for the boy, his devotion, his fear of losing him” (Hesse devotion, his fear of losing him” (Hesse 99). He cannot control his son; he 99). He cannot control his son; he cannot make him love him back. cannot make him love him back.

This failed relationship highlights human This failed relationship highlights human nature at its rawest form. It brings out in nature at its rawest form. It brings out in Siddhartha the love and care a father has for his Siddhartha the love and care a father has for his child. His son, in turn, embodies rebellion, the child. His son, in turn, embodies rebellion, the part of human beings that wants to be free. The part of human beings that wants to be free. The tender love and care that Siddhartha provides for tender love and care that Siddhartha provides for his son gives evidence that Siddhartha is human, his son gives evidence that Siddhartha is human, and not much different than everyone else; the and not much different than everyone else; the distance between Siddhartha and the world has distance between Siddhartha and the world has been bridged. “So childishly and illogically did he been bridged. “So childishly and illogically did he now reason; so much had he become like the now reason; so much had he become like the ordinary people” (Hesse 4). While Siddhartha’s ordinary people” (Hesse 4). While Siddhartha’s detachment initially leaves him unable to relate detachment initially leaves him unable to relate to or empathize with the struggles of the to or empathize with the struggles of the common man, harming those who only try to help common man, harming those who only try to help him on his way, Hesse stresses that no one can him on his way, Hesse stresses that no one can achieve enlightenment without that sense of achieve enlightenment without that sense of empathy. One must be able to love in order to empathy. One must be able to love in order to reach nirvana. In a way, the son acts like a reach nirvana. In a way, the son acts like a flashlight for Siddhartha because he shows him flashlight for Siddhartha because he shows him the things that he has refused to experience – the things that he has refused to experience – the things that are critical to his ability to reach the things that are critical to his ability to reach that final understanding. that final understanding.

Hesse shows that Siddhartha Hesse shows that Siddhartha spends his life searching for things spends his life searching for things that lie just beyond where he is that lie just beyond where he is willing to look, and his son helps him willing to look, and his son helps him open his eyes. He could have loved open his eyes. He could have loved his father or he could have loved his father or he could have loved Kamala, but he never truly cares for Kamala, but he never truly cares for anyone before his son abandons him. anyone before his son abandons him. This final trial – the trial that, at first This final trial – the trial that, at first blush, Siddhartha fails – ultimately blush, Siddhartha fails – ultimately results in his greatest triumph: the results in his greatest triumph: the understanding that eludes most men understanding that eludes most men for a lifetime. for a lifetime.

Final AdviceFinal Advice Love what you write. Seriously! Love what you write. Seriously! Take Take pridepride in the work you’re spending so in the work you’re spending so

much time creating, revising, and perfecting.much time creating, revising, and perfecting. At the end of the day, I know most of you At the end of the day, I know most of you

care about the grade you’ll earn on a paper; I care about the grade you’ll earn on a paper; I know most of you care about the grade you’ll know most of you care about the grade you’ll earn in a class.earn in a class. I agree that both of these are importantI agree that both of these are important

However, you won’t necessarily remember However, you won’t necessarily remember whether you got a B or a B+ a few years from whether you got a B or a B+ a few years from now; you might just remember the rush you now; you might just remember the rush you got when you finished a piece that made you got when you finished a piece that made you proud, or the day something about the proud, or the day something about the writing process finally “clicked” for you.writing process finally “clicked” for you.

Never fear to be great!Never fear to be great!