exclusive interview with allan pease/nonverbal... · allan pease. i had the oppor-tunity to meet...

magazine

1 / 2014

Exclusive Interview

NonverbalIntelligenceanother typeof intelligence

Expert tellsFirst impressions

Impression ManagementInterview with Barry Schlenker

with Allan Pease

How to convincepeople to buy from you

”...the ability to read, interpret and use nonverbal signals in business to evaluate and inuence others...”

Expert speaksFirst impressions

“The bottom line is that impression

management can inuence

perceptions of any human quality...”

FREESAMPLE

No.1 2014

ContentsEditorialNonverbal Intelligence - another type of intelligenceInterview with Joe Navarro

03

About the publisherMihaela Stroe, PhD.

05

Communication in… business How to convince people to buy from youby Cornel Costea, Head of Training, Proactive Solutions

06

Exclusive Interview with Allan Pease 09

Expert speaks - First impressionsInterview about Impression Managementwith Barry Schlenker (rst part)

12

Cross cultural cornerFilipe CarreraEl Presidente at Cross Cultural Corner

17

Nonverbal ClubQuestions & Answers

19

Book Recommendations21

NONVERBAL MAGAZINE

Publisher & Founder: Mihaela Stroe, PhD.Editor: Mihaela BaleaAssociate Editor: Madalina StoicescuGraphic Design: Vlad Lupulescu

CONTACT DETAILS:

For information visit: www.nonverbal-magazine.comEmail & article submission: [email protected] to the Editor: [email protected]: +40 747 39 89 55

The NONVERBAL MAGAZINE (ISSN: 2068- 2069)is published by agency Acta Nonverbal, SRL.Published to promote information about nonverbalcommunications, this magazine aims to be an onlineguide to develop nonverbal intelligence of any professional.

Copyright 2014 Acta Nonverbal, SRL.

magazine

Contents

WWW.NONVERBAL-MAGAZINE.COM

Mihaela Stroe, PhD., is a sociol-ogist, national and international trainer, coach and author. She has over 12 years of experience in nonverbal communication, human resources consulting and over seven years of identity and European career coaching.

websites and at www.nonverbal-mag-azine.com, as well as for numerous other publications. She is the creator of Nonverbal Magazine, an online magazine in English, as well as several training and coaching programs such as Nonverbal Academy and 90 Days Game Plan to name but a few!

In 2010, Forbes Romania pre-sented her work, titled “FBI Training

– A Romanian Woman Has Built Her Business Using the Techniques of Former FBI Agents” and in 2012, she was elected by the same prestigious journal as one of the top 101 success-ful Romanians, judged on the basis of innovative business pursuits.

Since 2003, she has col labo-rated with the former FBI agent Joe Navarro, founder of the FBI Division of Behavioral Analysis, currently pro-fessor emeritus at the FBI Academy and the University of Tampa, Florida. She translated What Every BODY is Saying - An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People by Joe Navarro into Romanian.

Since 2009, she has been associ-ated with Joe Navarro in business and is involved in various research on non-verbal intelligence development and influence at an international level. She is the only Romanian to be personally trained by Joe Navarro in behavioral analysis using FBI techniques, special-izing in detecting lies and deception.

Since 2012, she has been accredited by Joe Navarro to teach his methods throughout Europe and she reached success so far with her training in the Netherlands, Belgium, Portugal and the Republic of Moldova.

She created her own method of reading nonverbal language (called

“The ABC of nonverbal intelligence”), which is available for anyone who wants to develop both personally and professionally. As a speaker, Mihaela lectures and delivers workshops about nonverbal communication, influence and persuasion, leadership and perfor-mance both in Romania and abroad.

She studied intensively in Romania, USA, Belgium, UK and Italy, receiving an MA in Communication and a PhD in Sociology (specializing in nonverbal communication).

She has written hundreds of articles for personal and professional develop-ment, which you can read on various


Editorialwww.mihaelastroe.com

About the publisherMihaela Stroe, Phd.


He’s one of the best special-ists in communication and body language!

He is one of the most wanted speakers in the world!

He is the most wanted person by VIPs for communication guidance!

He is the author of ten books that were number one in the cat-egory of bestseller and also the author of another 18 books that are part of top ten bestsellers (of the world)!

And most importantly, he is happy and fulfilled from A to Z!

We are obviously talking about Allan Pease, also known as “Mr. Body Language”, who agreed to divulge pre-cious information in this exclusive interview for Nonverbal Magazine readers.

His presentations are a true show: the audience is always deeply impressed by his jovial style and the extraordinary humor with which he delivers his advice. Trust me: you leave so motivated, so inspired and so educated that only sheer convenience makes you remain in mediocrity after attending an event with Allan Pease.

I had the oppor-t u n i t y t o m e e t Allan personally in 2007 when he par-ticipated for the first time in Romania, at the “Mr. Body Lan-guage” conference. I was impressed by his simple but pleasant style of expressing his own interpretation of nonverbal messages. In a private discussion with him, I was struck by his interest in this

domain at an international level; con-ducting investigations on millions of people about what and how they com-municate through their bodies. All using surveys!

I am deeply grateful because he helped the nonverbal communica-tion niche to become appreciated at a global level through the “populariza-tion” of these ideas. That is, taking the information provided by science and

making it accessible to everybody. We owe him the ease with which we talk today about gestures, looks, touches, and facial expressions.

I asked Allan to give an exclusive interview for Nonverbal Magazine while he participated at the extraordi-nary event “How to be a people magnet” in Cluj, on March 27, 2013.

Nonverbal Magazine (NM): When did you start studying non-verbal communication?

Allan Pease (AP): My father was an insurance salesman in the 1950s and he would take me with him on sales interviews after school. I learned that it was possible to read people’s attitudes and to predict their behavior.

NM: What inspired you to study this domain?

AP: I always had a sales job after school to earn money, and I was the best in my field in Austra-lia at the age of 18, in direct selling.

Reading body language was a major key to my success!

NM: How has nonver-bal communication

helped you in your c a r e e r ? Y o u have become a celebrity in this doma i n, bei ng

“Mr. Body La n-guage” worldwide, writing so many books and doing so many research projects.

A P: It a l lowe d m e t o b e c o m e a record-breaking sales-

man and to create a new career and

Interview

Exclusive Interview with Allan Pease By Mihaela Stroe, PhD.


profession in training others to make positive impressions in their business and personal lives. My clients include TV stars, royalty, presidents, prime ministers, celebrities, and high-profile business executives.

NM: What contexts have you researched so far and what cul-tures? Could you share some of your observations?

AP: All my research involved face-to-face human interaction in business and personal contexts. I have studied over 100 cultures in 66 countries rang-ing from people in Botswana to CEOs on Wall Street.

NM: In your opinion, what does “nonverbal communication” mean?

AP: It is the study of human (and animal) communication by actions other than words and includes ges-tures, expressions, space, touch, eye contact, etc. It accounts for 60–80%

of the impact made by humans when face-to-face.

NM: What are the most import-ant benefits of being able to read other people’s body language?

AP: Body language allows you to control the first impressions you make on people, especially in the first four minutes of a first meeting. It also allows you to evaluate the other person’s atti-tudes toward you and what you are saying. This information reveals what you should do or say next, whether in a business context or if you are trying to find out if the opposite sex is interested in you or not.

NM: What’s the difference between men and women when we talk about body language? Is one of the sexes at an advan-tage? If so, how and why is this happening?

AP: Men have a masculine advan-tage and higher testosterone which

results in dominant behavior and more imposing/aggressive gestures which can intimidate others, particu-larly women. Women have a feminine advantage in playing dumb or helpless and using submissive behavior which can lull men into a false sense of secu-rity. For example, a man can sit with his legs apart and both hands behind the head to show dominance, while women can thrust their breasts forward and talk while relaxing their wrists, which is disarming to men.

NM: Please share one expe-r ience when k now ing body language tips and tricks has helped you to succeed in a very difficult situation.

AP: We interviewed a man for a position in our company and whenever we asked about his past employers, he answered confidently but continually touched his nose and rubbed his eyes while looking down. His past employers were in another country and he didn’t think we would contact them, but we decided to call them. We discovered he had previously been fired for dishon-esty and had spent time in prison. If we had not been aware of his contradictory body language, we may have hired him and become another of his victims. As a young man, I was very aware of wom-en’s turn-on and turn-off signals which helped tremendously with my success in the dating field. LOL.

NM: Did you meet people who criticized the importance of nonverbal communication in daily life? If you did, what type of arguments did you use to per-suade them to change their mind/perception?

AP: People who criticize body lan-guage training are rare and they are generally uninformed individuals. The importance of body language in face-to-face encounters is both scien-tifically and experimentally verified and makes up most of our face-to-face-impact. People who fail to acknowledge

Interview


its importance are usually described as insensitive, callous, or rude. This is because they are not aware of how others are feeling.

NM: What do you believe is the best advice in the world when we talk about detecting deception?

AP: Never take one gesture and try to interpret it. Someone scratching their nose may have an itchy nose. Look for a ‘cluster’ – at least 3 consecutive gestures that can be read like words in a sentence. You then relate it to what the person is saying and it can reveal their true intent rather than what you actually heard them say.

NM: What, in your opinion, makes someone genuine and what nonverbal signs shows you that he/she is authentic?

AP: If you were to tell everyone you meet the exact things you are thinking, you would soon have no friends, get fired or, even be arrested. The trick is to avoid lying by changing the subject or asking a question when someone asks “Do you like my ideas?” or “Does this dress make my butt look big?” Others will accept you quickly when you display friendly, non-aggressive body language and when you take an interest in them.

NM: You have written so many books about this subject. What is your secret as a writer?

AP: My writing has 3 elements:1. It is science or fact based2. It contains real life stories and

scenarios3. We make it entertaining and

funny.

We previously wrote books that we felt people needed. We had six bestsellers and three number one best-sellers, but it was hard work selling them. Now we only write books that we know people want and will buy. This formula has given us ten consecutive #1 bestsellers.

NM: You are returning to Romania for the conference

“How to be a people magnet”. You are a people magnet. How do you manage to be like that? Please share some tips and tricks that you will be presenting at this conference.

AP: Points to be covered will include:

• What men and women need to do to get on in business

• Why women read minds and men won’t ask for directions

• How to get cooperation and gain credibility

• How to avoid arguments, dis-agreements and conflict

• Stress: Why women talk and men retreat

• Why men don’t listen and women can’t read maps

• Sales and negotiation – reading across the table

• How to develop instant rapport and get cooperation

• How to dress for credibility and authority

• How to read between the lines of what is said

• How to spot if someone is lying or hedging

• Where to touch someone to win them over

• How to sell yourself in the first four minutes

• Why men can never lie to womenNM: Your material looks very

interesting! I will be there with the privilege of asking you some questions at the end of the confer-ence. Have all our readers bought a ticket to the conference? Thank you, Allan for this fascinating interview!

Interview


Joe Navarro, ex-FBI agent and famous expert in non-verbal communication, will teach you how to “read” people quickly, how to find out their feelings and interpret their behavior, how to avoid hidden traps, and how to discover lies. Reading this book, you will find out how to influence the way you are seen by your boss, the members of your family, friends, or strangers and will discover the most pow-erful behaviors that show self-confidence and real emotions.

For 25 years, Joe Navarro worked as an FBI agent specializing in counter-espionage and terrorism. An inter-nationally famous expert in nonverbal communication, he frequently holds conferences and teaches classes at the Uni-versity of San Lea and Tampa, as well as at the FBI Academy.

By integrating the most recent findings in psychology, neurobiology, medicine, sociology, criminology, communi-cation science and anthropology, added to a quarter century of experience in the use of nonverbal communication in his work as an FBI agent, Joe Navarro is the most qualified expert to help you understand the language of nonverbal signals.

Mark offered by Nonverbal Magazine: 10Reasons: The language is accessible to all, the informa-

tion presented in the first three chapters is very useful to help readers understand the limbic system, and the benefits are enormous for every reader because of all the information so clearly presented. It’s a must read because it is one of the top ranked books on Amazon. What we like most about Joe Navarro’s work is how it created a framework (body language as based on primal responses coming from lower parts of the brain) for nonverbal interaction. Most other authors seem to be just listing individual signs/clusters that are hard to remember and decode in real life because of the lack of a general framework to fit these clusters into.

Deception is present in every human relationship, from the institutionalized ones to the intimate ones. Some consider it to be something terrible, while others, on the contrary, tolerate it, drawing attention to the fact that, some-times, the truth can be used as a weapon of cruelty.

If you are among those who prefer the truth or if finding the truth is what you do for a living, this book will offer you the verbal signs, but most importantly, the nonverbal signs of deception.

Body language, the intonation of the voice and facial expression are presented in detail by the author, an emo-tions researcher and nonverbal communication specialist. Paul Ekman is a psychology teacher at the University of Cal-ifornia, San Francisco. By the same author you can also read: Why Kids Lie: How Parents Can Encourage Truthfulness.

Mark offered by Nonverbal Magazine: 10Reasons: Paul Ekman, a renowned expert in emotions

research and nonverbal communication, adds a new chapter to present his latest research on his groundbreaking inquiry into lying and the methods for uncovering lies. Ekman has figured out the most important behavioral clues to deceit; he has developed a one-hour self-instructional program that trains people to observe and understand “micro expres-sions”; and he has done research that identifies the facial expressions that show whether someone is likely to become violent –a self-instructional program to learn to recognize these dangerous signals is also included.

Telling Lies describes how lies vary in form and how they can differ from other types of misinformation that can reveal untruths. It discusses how a person’s body language, voice, and facial expressions can give away a lie but still fool professional lie hunters, even judges, police officers, drug enforcement agents, and Secret Service agents.

Book Recommendations

What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading PeopleJoe NavarroDr. Marvin KarlinsPublishing House Harper andCollins (2008)

Telling lies. Signs ofdeception in marriage,business and politicsPaul EkmanPublishing House W.W. Norton & Co (2009)


Body language expert Tonya Reiman illustrates what has until now been a gray area in interpersonal communication: harnessing the power of your nonverbal cues to get what you want out of every aspect of life, from professional encounters to personal relationships.

Using an insightful and engaging narrative, Tonya Reiman analyzes all of the components of body language

– the language of the face, the body, space, and touch. She shows how to become a Master Communicator using the Reiman Rapport Method, a surefire system for building an instant connection with anyone, in any situation. Full of photos and fun facts, The Power of Body Language is as entertaining as it is instructive.

Mark offered by Nonverbal Magazine: 9Reasons: Tonya’s book teaches that although the reader

may not be aware of it, people receive messages through body language (nonverbal signals) that can have a huge impact in a positive or negative way, just as the tone of your voice may make more of an impact (positively or negatively) than your actual words.

She teaches the reader to watch for body language signals that may indicate truths that are not expressed in words. She also teaches the nuances and psychology of mirroring body language. The book clarifies the meanings of signals and nonverbal cues and shows the reader how to use this knowledge to his or her best advantage in everyday situa-tions, including the differences between male and female body language. We gave this a grade 9 because the use of scientific arguments is not as prevalent as in other books on the same subject.

The Power of Body LanguageTonya Reiman (2007)US: Simon & Schuster Publishing Group

Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of CourtshipDavid Givens (2006)US St. Martin’s Griffin

A world-renowned anthropologist explores the nonverbal signs, signals, and cues human beings exchange to attract and keep their mates. As a medium of communication, Love’s silent language predates speech by millions of years. Today, we still express emotions and feelings largely without words. The postures, gestures, and facial cues of attraction are universal, in all societies and cultures. According to Dr. Givens, courtship moves slowly though five distinct phases: attracting attention, recognition phase, conversation phase, touching phase, and making love. Since potential mates

“test” each other before uniting as one, courtship is a cho-reographed give and take of signs granting physical and emotional closeness. Love Signals is part ethnography and part how-to. Dr. Givens documents the little courting rituals witnessed in elevators, on subways, and in the workplace. He examines the essential role the face plays in courtship and how to make the most of facial expressions. He decodes the body to find silent messages given off by the shoulders, neck, arms, hands, waist, calves, ankles, feet, and toes. Dr. Givens analyzes expressive shapes, colors, and markings encoded in garments worn on the arms, shoulders, legs, and feet. He deciphers the background messages of spaces, places and interiors to learn how environments can help or hinder during the meeting process. Chemical cues emanating from aromas, tastes, steroids, sterols, and hormones strongly shape a partner’s feelings, and they are explored as well. The book suggests ways to gaze, ways to read eyes across a room, and ways to sit, stand, align, walk, dress, and even lift a drink to participate in the fascinating adventure of finding, winning, and keeping a mate. Understanding the unspoken vocabulary of love signals will give readers an edge. What this means for courtship is that the reader becomes able to read unspoken motives, emotions, and feelings with greater clarity and precision. The more readers know about the non-verbal idioms of attraction, the more likely it is that they will find a loving, lasting partner.

Mark offered by Nonverbal Magazine: 10Reasons: This book is a blend of three parts, and pro-

vides useful information about a very important domain in human interaction: courtship. The first part is focused on research studies on the subject of human behavior, espe-cially around courtship and mating. The second part is very direct, full of field observations by the author, and the last part is a how-to manual for finding a partner (what to wear, how to behave, how to speak, how to move... and so on).

Book Recommendations

exclusive interview with allan pease/nonverbal... · allan pease. i had the oppor-tunity to meet...

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