f openadopt

6
A FActSheet For FAmilieS U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families Administration on Children, Youth and Families Children’s Bureau Child Welfare Information Gateway Children’s Bureau/ACYF 1250 Maryland Avenue, SW Eighth Floor Washington, DC 20024 703.385.7565 or 800.394.3366 Email: [email protected] www.childwelfare.gov February 2003 What is open Adoption? Open, or fully disclosed, adoptions allow adoptive parents, and often the adopted child, to interact directly with birth parents. Family members inter- act in ways that feel most comfortable to them. Communication may include letters, emails, tele- phone calls, or visits. The frequency of contact is Openness in Adoption What’s ins ide: Is open adoption right for our family? What questions should our family consider in open adoption? Pros and cons of each type of adoption for the involved parties

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Page 1: F Openadopt

A FActSheet For FAmilieS

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families

Administration on Children, Youth and Families Children’s Bureau

Child Welfare Information GatewayChildren’s Bureau/ACYF1250 Maryland Avenue, SWEighth FloorWashington, DC 20024703.385.7565 or 800.394.3366Email: [email protected]

February 2003

What is open Adoption?

Open, or fully disclosed, adoptions allow adoptive parents, and often the adopted child, to interact directly with birth parents. Family members inter-act in ways that feel most comfortable to them. Communication may include letters, emails, tele-phone calls, or visits. The frequency of contact is

Openness in Adoption

What’s inside:

Is open adoption right for our family?

What questions should our family consider in open adoption?

Pros and cons of each type of adoption for the involved parties

Page 2: F Openadopt

Openness in Adoption www.childwelfare.gov

�This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm.

negotiated and can range from every few years to several times a month or more. Contact often changes as a child grows and has more questions about his or her adoption or as families’ needs change. It is important to note that even in an open adoption, the legal relationship between a birth parent and child is severed. The adoptive parents are the legal parents of an adopted child.

The goals of open adoption are:

To minimize the child’s loss of relationships.

To maintain and celebrate the adopted child’s connections with all the impor-tant people in his or her life.

To allow the child to resolve losses with truth, rather than the fantasy adopted chil-dren often create when no information or contact with their birth family is available.

is open Adoption right for our Family?

Open adoption is just one of several open-ness options available to families, ranging from confidential, to semi-open (or medi-ated), to fully open adoption. In semi-open or mediated adoptions, contact between birth and adoptive families is made through a mediator (e.g., an agency caseworker or attorney) rather than directly. In confiden-tial adoptions no contact takes place and no identifying information is exchanged.

Making an open adoption work requires flexibility and a commitment to ongoing relationships, despite their ups and downs. While this type of adoption is not right for every family, open adoption can work well if everyone wants it and if there is good com-munication, flexibility, commitment to the process, respect for all parties involved, and commitment to the child’s needs above all.

There are many resources available to help you determine what level of openness might be best for your family. The chart included with this factsheet may help you consider some pros and cons of open adoptions. You can also:

explore the internetSeveral websites provide research and issues to consider in open adoption:

American Association of Open Adoption Agencies (www.openadoption.org) helps families find agencies practicing open adoption. Adoptees on their mailing list respond to the question, “What do you wish your adoptive parents had known?”

Minnesota/Texas Adoption Research Project (http://fsos.che.umn.edu/mtarp/ default.html) provides information on a longitudinal study of openness in adop-tion since 1985. The most recent wave included a total of 7�0 individuals: both parents in 190 adoptive families, at least one adopted child in 171 of the families, and 169 birth mothers. This study was

confidential Adoption

Semi-open/ mediated Adoption

Fully Disclosed/ open Adoption

Page 3: F Openadopt

Openness in Adoption

�This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm.

www.childwelfare.gov

the source of much of the research for this factsheet and the related bulletin for professionals.

Child Welfare Information Gateway—Postadoption Contact Agreements Between Birth and Adoptive Families1 (www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/cooperative.cfm) provides laws for each State on open adoption.

Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support (www.openadoptioninsight.org) offers open adoption resources for pro-fessionals and support for adoptive and birth parents considering open adoption.

readSeveral books about open adoption may be helpful:

Children of Open Adoption by Patricia Martinez Dorner and Kathleen Silber (1997, Independent Adoption Press). The topics in this book include the essential “ingredients” for successful open adoption and communication tips for talking about open adoption with children of all ages.

How to Open an Adoption by Patricia Martinez Dorner (1998, R-Squared Press). This book gives guidance to adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoption pro-fessionals in how to navigate more inclu-sive relationships.

Lifegivers: Framing the Birth Parent Experience in Open Adoption by James L. Gritter (�000, CWLA Press). This book

� “Cooperative adoption” or “adoption with contact” refer to arrangements that allow some kind of contact between adoptive families and members of the adopted child’s birth family after the adoption has been finalized.

examines the ways birth parents are marginalized. The author makes the point that adopted children are best served when birth parents and adoptive parents work together to ensure that birth parents remain in children’s lives.

The Open Adoption Experience by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia (199�, HarperPerennial). This complete guide for adoptive and birth parents touches on almost every aspect of open adoption.

The Spirit of Open Adoption by Jim Gritter (1997, CWLA Press). This book gives a realistic look at the joys and pains of open adoption for birth parents, adopt-ees, and adoptive parents.

What is Open Adoption? by Brenda Romanchik (1999, R-Squared Press). Written from the perspective of a birth mother in an open adoption, this pocket guide provides concise information and resources.

Abstracts of these books are available from the Child Welfare Information Gateway database: http://basis.caliber.com/cwig/ws/chdocs/docs/gateway/SearchForm

talk With a counselor or therapist With Knowledge and experience in open Adoption Child Welfare Information Gateway has a tip sheet on selecting an adoption therapist who is informed about issues of adoption (www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/r_tips.cfm).

Page 4: F Openadopt

Openness in Adoption www.childwelfare.gov

�This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm.

This factsheet describes the types of mental health professionals available and provides guidelines for choosing the best resource for your family.

talk With other Parents The National Adoption Directory (www.childwelfare.gov/nad) has lists of foster and adoptive parent support groups in each State. Because each parent group will have its own focus, you might want to ask how many families attending the group are in open adoptions.

What Questions Should our Family consider in open Adoption?

In open adoptions, families need to consider when and how much to tell a child about his or her birth family, and then if and how to involve him or her in that relationship. An adoption professional can help you address some of these issues. Some of the questions you may want to consider include:

At what age should a child be included in contact with his or her birth family?

What happens if one party decides to break off all contact?

What will the birth parents’ role be in the child’s life?

How will your child explain his or her relationship with birth relatives to his or her peers?

How will you handle other adopted sib-lings who have different levels of open-ness in their adoptions?

Summary

No one level of openness in adoption is best for everyone, and each adoption changes over time. Adoptees from all kinds of adop-tions, from confidential to fully open, can be emotionally healthy. Using the resources listed on this factsheet, as well as the attached table, you can decide what level of openness is best for your family.

Page 5: F Openadopt

Openness in Adoption

5This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm.

www.childwelfare.gov

Pr

oS

of

eac

h ty

pe

of

Ad

op

tio

n fo

r th

e in

volv

ed P

arti

es

CO

NFI

DE

NTI

AL

AD

OP

TIO

NS

ME

DIA

TED

(SE

MI-O

PE

N)

OP

EN

AD

OP

TIO

NS

No

con

tact

bet

wee

n b

irth

an

d a

dop

tive

fam

ilie

s.

No

iden

tify

ing

info

rmat

ion

is

pro

vid

ed.

On

ly n

onid

enti

fyin

g in

form

atio

n (

e.g.

, hei

ght,

hai

r co

lor,

med

ical

his

tory

, etc

.) i

s p

rovi

ded

th

rou

gh a

th

ird

par

ty (

e.g.

, age

ncy

or

atto

rney

).

Non

iden

tify

ing

con

tact

is

mad

e (v

ia

card

s, l

ette

rs, p

ictu

res)

th

rou

gh a

th

ird

p

arty

(e.

g., a

gen

cy o

r at

torn

ey).

Dir

ect

inte

ract

ion

bet

wee

n b

irth

an

d a

dop

tive

fam

ilie

s.

Iden

titi

es a

re k

now

n.

Bir

th

Par

ents

Prov

ides

rea

l ch

oice

for

bir

th p

aren

ts w

hen

com

-p

ared

to

open

ad

opti

on.

Priv

acy.

Som

e fe

el t

his

pro

vid

es a

sen

se o

f cl

osu

re a

nd

ab

ilit

y to

mov

e on

wit

h l

ife.

• • •

All

ows

for

som

e in

form

atio

n t

ran

sfer

be

twee

n b

irth

an

d a

dop

tive

par

ents

(a

nd

per

hap

s th

e ch

ild

).

Som

e p

riva

cy.

• •

Incr

ease

d a

bili

ty t

o d

eal

wit

h g

rief

an

d l

oss.

Com

fort

in

kn

owin

g ch

ild

’s w

ell-

bein

g.

Sen

se o

f co

ntr

ol o

ver

dec

isio

n-m

akin

g in

pla

cem

ent.

Pote

nti

al f

or m

ore

full

y d

efin

ed r

ole

in c

hil

d’s

lif

e.

Pote

nti

al t

o d

evel

op a

hea

lth

y re

lati

onsh

ip w

ith

th

e ch

ild

as

he

or s

he

grow

s.

Less

pai

n a

nd

gu

ilt

abou

t th

e d

ecis

ion

.

May

mak

e th

e d

ecis

ion

to

pla

ce f

or a

dop

tion

eas

ier

(com

-p

ared

to

a co

nte

sted

ter

min

atio

n o

f p

aren

tal

righ

ts t

rial

).

• • • • • • •

Ad

op

tive

P

aren

ts

No

nee

d t

o p

hys

ical

ly s

har

e th

e ch

ild

wit

h b

irth

p

aren

ts.

No

dan

ger

of b

irth

par

ent

inte

rfer

ence

or

co-p

aren

tin

g.

• •

Gre

ater

sen

se o

f co

ntr

ol o

ver

pro

cess

.

Rol

es m

ay b

e m

ore

clea

rly

defi

ned

th

an i

n e

ith

er c

onfi

den

tial

or

open

op

tion

s.

Incr

ease

d s

ense

of

enti

tlem

ent

com

par

ed t

o co

nfi

den

tial

ad

opti

ons.

Enh

ance

d a

bili

ty t

o an

swer

ch

ild

’s

qu

esti

ons

abou

t h

is o

r h

er h

isto

ry.

• • • •

Incr

ease

d s

ense

of

hav

ing

the

“rig

ht”

to

par

ent

and

in

crea

sed

abi

lity

for

con

fid

ent

par

enti

ng.

Pote

nti

al f

or a

uth

enti

c re

lati

onsh

ip w

ith

th

e bi

rth

fam

ily.

Mor

e u

nd

erst

and

ing

of c

hil

dre

n’s

his

tory

.

Incr

ease

d e

mp

ath

y fo

r bi

rth

par

ents

.

Less

fea

r of

bir

th p

aren

ts r

ecla

imin

g ch

ild

bec

ause

th

ey

know

th

e p

aren

t an

d t

hei

r w

ish

es.

Del

igh

t of

bei

ng

“ch

osen

” as

a p

aren

t.

• • • • • •

Ad

op

ted

P

erso

ns

Prot

ecti

on f

rom

un

stab

le o

r em

otio

nal

ly d

is-

turb

ed b

irth

par

ents

.•

Onl

y tr

ue w

hen

rela

tio

nshi

p is

“sh

ared

” w

ith

the

ado

pte

d c

hild

Gen

etic

an

d b

irth

his

tory

kn

own

.

Bir

thp

aren

ts a

re “

real

” n

ot “

fan

tasy

.”

Posi

tive

ad

just

men

t is

pro

mot

ed i

n

adop

tee.

• • •

Dir

ect

acce

ss t

o bi

rth

par

ents

an

d h

isto

ry.

Nee

d t

o se

arch

is

elim

inat

ed.

Iden

tity

qu

esti

ons

are

answ

ered

(W

ho

do

I lo

ok l

ike?

Wh

y w

as I

pla

ced

?).

Ease

s fe

elin

gs o

f ab

and

onm

ent.

Less

enin

g of

fan

tasi

es: b

irth

par

ents

are

“re

al.”

Incr

ease

d c

ircl

e of

su

pp

orti

ve a

du

lts.

Incr

ease

d a

ttac

hm

ent

to a

dop

tive

fam

ily

(esp

ecia

lly

if t

he

birt

h p

aren

ts s

up

por

t th

e p

lace

men

t).

Pres

erva

tion

of

con

nec

tion

s (e

.g.,

wit

h s

ibli

ngs

, rel

ativ

es).

Less

ens

loya

lty

con

flic

ts (

acco

rdin

g to

rec

ent

rese

arch

).

Exp

osu

re t

o ra

cial

an

d e

thn

ic h

erit

age.

Abi

lity

for

evo

lvin

g, d

ynam

ic, a

nd

dev

elop

men

tall

y ap

pro

-p

riat

e ac

cou

nt

of t

he

adop

tion

.

• • • • • • • • • • •

Page 6: F Openadopt

Openness in Adoption www.childwelfare.gov

6This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. Available online at www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.cfm.

co

NS

of

eac

h ty

pe

of

Ad

op

tio

n fo

r th

e in

volv

ed P

arti

es

CO

NFI

DE

NTI

AL

AD

OP

TIO

NS

ME

DIA

TED

(SE

MI-O

PE

N)

OP

EN

AD

OP

TIO

NS

No

con

tact

bet

wee

n b

irth

an

d a

dop

tive

fa

mil

ies.

No

iden

tify

ing

info

rmat

ion

is

pro

vid

ed.

On

ly n

onid

enti

fyin

g in

form

atio

n (

e.g.

, h

eigh

t, h

air

colo

r, m

edic

al h

isto

ry, e

tc.)

is

pro

vid

ed t

hro

ugh

a t

hir

d p

arty

(e.

g., a

gen

cy

or a

ttor

ney

).

Non

iden

tify

ing

con

tact

is

mad

e (v

ia

card

s, l

ette

rs, p

ictu

res)

th

rou

gh a

th

ird

par

ty (

e.g.

, age

ncy

or

atto

rney

).

Dir

ect

inte

ract

ion

bet

wee

n b

irth

an

d a

dop

tive

fam

ilie

s. I

den

titi

es

are

know

n.

Bir

th

Par

ents

Less

gri

ef r

esol

uti

on d

ue

to l

ack

of

info

rmat

ion

abo

ut

the

chil

d’s

wel

l-be

ing.

May

en

cou

rage

den

ial

of f

act

that

ch

ild

was

bo

rn a

nd

pla

ced

wit

h a

not

her

fam

ily.

• •

Loss

of

pot

enti

al f

or d

irec

t re

lati

onsh

ip w

ith

ad

opti

ve f

amil

y (a

nd

/or

chil

d).

Incr

ease

d g

rief

in

th

e in

itia

l ye

ars,

le

ss l

ater

.

Loss

of

con

tact

if

inte

rmed

iary

ch

ange

s or

lea

ves

(i.e

., st

aff

turn

over

, pol

icy

chan

ges,

or

agen

cy c

losi

ngs

).

Bir

th m

oth

er m

ay f

eel

obli

gate

d t

o p

lace

ch

ild

du

e to

th

e em

otio

nal

or

fin

anci

al s

up

por

t gi

ven

by

the

pro

spec

tive

ad

opti

ve p

aren

ts.

• • • •

Full

res

pon

sibi

lity

for

set

tin

g re

lati

onsh

ip l

imit

s an

d b

oun

dar

ies.

Pote

nti

al a

buse

of

tru

st (

few

er s

afeg

uar

ds)

.

Pote

nti

al d

isap

poi

ntm

ent

if a

dop

tive

fam

ily

can

not

mee

t al

l ex

pec

tati

ons

or n

eed

s.

Bir

th m

oth

er m

ay f

eel

obli

gate

d t

o p

lace

ch

ild

du

e to

th

e em

o-ti

onal

or

fin

anci

al s

up

por

t gi

ven

by

the

pro

spec

tive

ad

opti

ve

par

ents

.

• • • •

Ad

op

tive

P

aren

ts

All

ows

for

den

ial

of “

adop

ted

fam

ily”

or

fert

ilit

y st

atu

s.

Incr

ease

d f

ear,

les

s em

pat

hy

for

birt

h

par

ents

.

No

acce

ss t

o ad

dit

ion

al m

edic

al

info

rmat

ion

abo

ut

birt

h f

amil

y.

Less

con

trol

: age

ncy

con

trol

s in

form

atio

n.

• • • •

Loss

of

the

full

rel

atio

nsh

ip w

ith

th

e bi

rth

par

ents

.

Lack

of

abil

ity

to h

ave

qu

esti

ons

answ

ered

im

med

iate

ly.

Pote

nti

ally

tro

ubl

ing

card

s, l

ette

rs,

or p

ictu

res.

• • •

Full

res

pon

sibi

lity

for

set

tin

g re

lati

onsh

ip l

imit

s an

d b

oun

dar

ies.

Pote

nti

al p

ress

ure

: acc

ept

open

nes

s or

no

chil

d.

Pote

nti

al d

iffi

cult

y w

ith

em

otio

nal

ly d

istu

rbed

bir

th p

aren

ts.

Pote

nti

al f

or s

up

por

tin

g bo

th c

hil

d a

nd

bir

th p

aren

ts

(em

otio

nal

ly).

• • • •

Ad

op

ted

P

erso

ns

Poss

ible

ad

oles

cen

t id

enti

ty c

onfu

sion

(u

nab

le t

o co

mp

are

ph

ysic

al a

nd

em

otio

nal

tr

aits

to

thei

r bi

rth

fam

ilie

s).

Lim

ited

acc

ess

to i

nfo

rmat

ion

th

at o

ther

s ta

ke f

or g

ran

ted

.

Pote

nti

al p

reoc

cup

atio

n w

ith

ad

opti

on

issu

es.

• • •

Sim

ilar

to

con

fid

enti

al a

dop

tion

s,

if i

nfo

rmat

ion

not

sh

ared

wit

h t

he

adop

tee.

Pote

nti

al p

erce

pti

on t

hat

it

is

un

safe

to

inte

ract

wit

h b

irth

fam

ily

dir

ectl

y.

• •

No

clea

n b

reak

for

ass

imil

atio

n i

nto

fam

ily,

wh

ich

som

e fe

el i

s n

eces

sary

.

Pote

nti

al f

eeli

ngs

of

reje

ctio

n i

f co

nta

ct s

top

s.

Dif

ficu

lty

exp

lain

ing

the

rela

tion

ship

to

pee

rs.

Pote

nti

al f

or p

layi

ng

fam

ilie

s ag

ain

st e

ach

oth

er.

• • • •