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FAITHFULGodly friendship is built on commitment to God and provides lifelong encouragement.

1 SAMUEL 18:1-5; 20:35-4218:1 When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself. 2 Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. 4 Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. 5 David marched out with the army and was successful in everything Saul sent him to do. Saul put him in command of the soldiers, which pleased all the people and Saul’s servants

Session 9

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92 E X PL OR E T H E B I BL E | P ER SON A L ST U DY GU I DE

as well. [...] 20:35 In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for the appointed meeting with David. A small young man was with him. 36 He said to the young man, “Run and find the arrows I’m shooting.” As the young man ran, Jonathan shot an arrow beyond him. 37 He came to the location of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, but Jonathan called to him and said, “The arrow is beyond you, isn’t it?” 38 Then Jonathan called to him, “Hurry up and don’t stop!” Jonathan’s young man picked up the arrow and returned to his master. 39 He did not know anything; only Jonathan and David knew the arrangement. 40 Then Jonathan gave his equipment to the young man who was with him and said, “Go, take it back to the city.” 41 When the young man had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone Ezel, fell with his face to the ground, and bowed three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept with each other, though David wept more. 42 Jonathan then said to David, “Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the LORD when we said: The LORD will be a witness between you and me and between my offspring and your offspring forever.” Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city.

Underline the words and phrases that indicate an investment by either Jonathan or David in their relationship. How were their investments different?

FIRST THOUGHTSHumanity is relational by design. It’s a part of what it means to be created in God’s image. Just as God exists relationally within the Trinity, He created us to exist relationally within community. There’s no doubt that some people are more outgoing and personable. From the outside looking in, it seems that relationships just come easy to them. On the other end of the spectrum, many people are shy and reserved. It takes them a while to engage. While there are differences

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93SE SSION : Faithf u l

in how we relate, there’s no question that we relate. Humanity is hardwired for relationships, community, and friendship.

To what level do you agree with this statement: “All areas of one’s life are impacted by the friends he or she has”? In what ways is your life being impacted by your friends?

Much of the joy of life is found through our connections with other people. Friendship is a gift from God that enhances every part of life. First Samuel 18–20 records several stories that reveal the friendship of Jonathan and David. Both men loved each other (1 Sam. 18:1,3; 2 Sam. 1:26). They helped each other, served each other, sacrificed for each other, and respected each other. Jonathan’s initial covenant with David was a source of incredible joy for David (1 Sam. 18:3). David’s long-term kindness to Mephibosheth (Jonathan’s son) shows how deeply he loved Jonathan (2 Sam. 9:1-13). Their story reminds us that good friendships don’t just happen. Like anything of value, strong friendships require work, sacrifice, and intentionality. In almost every case, the depth of our friendships is determined by the depth of our investment. Above all, godly friendships are built on a commitment to God.

UNDERSTAND THE CONTEXT1 SAMUEL 18:1–20:42Every relationship is different. We see two drastically different relationships in 1 Samuel 18–20. David’s relationship with Saul suffered from fear, jealousy, anger, resentment, pride, and insecurity on Saul’s side. David loved and respected Saul, but the feelings were not always reciprocated. David’s relationship with Jonathan was characterized by love, support, respect, sacrifice, kindness, and encouragement on both sides. The nature of David and Jonathan’s relationship provides a great truth. Strong relationships are not one-sided; both parties are mutually invested.

To be fair, Saul’s relationship with David was not always tumultuous. Saul met David at a very unusual time. According to

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Scripture, Saul was tormented by an evil spirit from the Lord (16:14). Saul’s servants suggested that he find a skillful harp player who could calm his mind. David’s name was mentioned. He was brought before Saul and served him (16:17-21). We read in 1 Samuel 16:21 that “Saul admired him greatly.” That phrase is also translated, “Saul loved him greatly.” David found instant favor in Saul’s sight (16:23). The relationship strengthened after David defeated Goliath (17:31-58), and David eventually came to live in Saul’s house (18:2).

The relationship between the two changed when the women of Israel sang a song that Saul (perhaps mistakenly) interpreted as proclaiming David to be a more prolific warrior than Saul (18:7-9). As a result, “Saul was furious and resented this song. […] So Saul watched David jealously from that day forward” (18:8-9). David remained a faithful servant to Saul even after Saul tried to kill him (18:11,25). The relationship changed because of Saul’s insecurity, jealousy, and fear over David’s popularity.

It’s important to understand the dynamics of this relationship and the source of tension between David and Saul. That backstory plays a major part in the ongoing friendship between David and Jonathan.

EXPLORE THE TEXTTRUE FRIENDS 1 SAM. 18:15

VERSES 1-41 When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself. 2 Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. 4 Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. After David’s victory over Goliath (1 Sam. 17:31-58), Saul requested a meeting with David. We’re not sure of what was said during the meeting, but when it was over Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself. The phrase committed himself can also be translated “knit to” or “bound to.” It literally means knotted or tied together by indissoluble bonds.

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We’re not sure if verse 2 is Saul’s way of supporting Jonathan’s friendship with David, or if Saul simply wanted to have his best warrior close. Either way, Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father’s house. Once David was living in the palace, Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. This covenant between Jonathan and David was one of many such agreements made over the course of their friendship (20:16-17; 23:18). As a way of symbolizing the depth of his friendship and the seriousness of this covenant, Jonathan gave his robe (a symbol of the Israelite kingdom; see 15:27-28) to David. The act was both symbolic and powerful. By giving David the robe, along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt, Jonathan symbolically transferred his status (as heir to the throne) to David. This act showed how true friendship is selfless, sacrificial, and supportive.

David’s life and future changed on that day. He went from being a relatively unknown shepherd with a normal life to becoming a well-known warrior in the public eye. On that day, he killed a giant (17:49), acquired two of the finest swords in the Philistine and Israeli armies (17:51; 18:4), became a permanent houseguest of the king (18:2), entered a covenant with the prince (18:3), and received princely clothes reserved for the heir to the throne (18:4). On that day, David also entered a friendship that enhanced and changed his life.

True friends are revealed over time. Saul made many of the same gestures as Jonathan. They both loved David (16:21; 18:1). They both offered David their clothes of war (17:38-39; 18:4). They both initiated a relationship with David (16:19; 18:3). However, Saul was threatened by David’s ability and popularity (18:8-9), while Jonathan supported David in every way.

VERSE 55 David marched out with the army and was successful in everything Saul sent him to do. Saul put him in command of the soldiers, which pleased all the people and Saul’s servants as well. David was extremely successful in everything Saul sent him to do. The word successful refers to success that comes to those who act prudently and wisely. This is the same word used for Joshua (Josh. 1:7). From a theological perspective, verse 5 is important

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because it reminds us of God’s promise in Deuteronomy 29:9: Those who keep the covenant of Sinai will prosper in all that they do. David’s success also coincides with the claim that he was under the control and direction of the Spirit (1 Sam. 16:13).

David’s success as a warrior and as a military leader was the reason Saul put him in command of the soldiers. Saul’s decision pleased all the people and the servants of Saul. Even after David became Israel’s king, God blessed him with an ongoing ability to please his people (2 Sam. 3:36).

The sudden and great level of responsibility given to David is almost too much to comprehend. To go from leading sheep to leading an army in such a short period of time is truly incredible. It’s because of David’s success and his ever-increasing responsibility that biblical scholars have drawn correlations between David’s life and Joseph’s story. As with David, the Spirit of God was with Joseph, and he was very successful in everything he did (Gen. 41:38-40). As with David, Joseph’s success led to increasing levels of responsibility.

Success has a way of revealing true friends. Saul was threatened by David’s success and watched him jealously (1 Sam. 18:9). Jonathan was excited for David’s success and entered a deeper relationship with him. Success has a way of revealing the character of those who are successful and the character of those who claim to be their friends.

How can success change a friendship? Even if the gesture is never reciprocated, how can a person encourage friends in their successes?

BIBLE SKILL: Compare passages related to a similar theme.

Read Philippians 2:19-24, looking for ways Paul related to his colleagues. How do the relationships Paul had with the people identified compare to David’s relationship with Jonathan? What principles about friendship can be drawn from the comparison?

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TESTED FRIENDS 1 SAM. 20:3540

VERSES 35-4035 In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for the appointed meeting with David. A small young man was with him. 36 He said to the young man, “Run and find the arrows I’m shooting.” As the young man ran, Jonathan shot an arrow beyond him. 37 He came to the location of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, but Jonathan called to him and said, “The arrow is beyond you, isn’t it?” 38 Then Jonathan called to him, “Hurry up and don’t stop!” Jonathan’s young man picked up the arrow and returned to his master. 39 He did not know anything; only Jonathan and David knew the arrangement. 40 Then Jonathan gave his equipment to the young man who was with him and said, “Go, take it back to the city.” A lot happened between 1 Samuel 18:5 and 20:35. Saul was furious when some women from Israel sang a song that he interpreted as depicting David as a better warrior (18:7-9). His anger led to ongoing suspicion of David (18:9). An “evil spirit sent from God took control of Saul,” and Saul tried to pin David to the wall with a spear—twice (18:10-11). Saul feared David “because the LORD was with David but had left Saul” (18:12). He “dreaded him” because David was successful (18:15). This led to David’s demotion (18:13) and Saul’s multiple plans to kill David.

Saul’s plans to kill David continued to backfire. He told David to bring 100 Philistine foreskins as a dowry for his daughter Michal (18:25). He thought the Philistines would kill David. Instead, David killed 200 Philistines (doubling the dowry). He became more popular than ever (18:27,30). Saul ordered Jonathan and his servants to kill David (19:1), but they refused and informed David of Saul’s intent. When another evil spirit came on Saul, he personally tried to kill David (19:9-10). Once again, David escaped. Saul’s continual attempts to take David’s life actually solidified the relationship between David and Jonathan.

Knowing that Saul was trying to kill him, David and Jonathan devised a plan to help David escape. Instead of joining Saul for dinner, David hid in a field. When Saul asked about David, Jonathan said that David went to Bethlehem to offer his yearly sacrifice with his family (20:6).

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Saul was angry with Jonathan for letting David go to Bethlehem (20:30). Part of Saul’s anger was jealousy and hurt pride over David. Another part of his anger was the perceived threat that David’s existence would be to Jonathan and his kingship (20:31). When Jonathan stood up for David, Saul “threw his spear at Jonathan to kill him,” and Jonathan knew his father wanted to kill David (20:33).

The following morning, in what seemed like archery practice, Jonathan went out to the field for the appointed meeting with David. To retrieve the arrows he was shooting, he took a small young man with him. As the boy was running to pick up the arrows, Jonathan shot an arrow past him. When the boy came to the location of the arrow, Jonathan gave the code phrase that David would recognize: “The arrow is beyond you.... Hurry up and don’t stop!” The boy was unaware that David was hiding in the field. However, David knew the arrangement. When the boy retrieved the arrows, Jonathan sent him back to town with all his equipment.

David and Jonathan’s friendship was tested at the deepest of levels. What kinds of tests make a friendship stronger? Would you view the smaller tests as more or less significant than a dramatic test?

TIMELESS FRIENDS 1 SAM. 20:4142

VERSES 41-4241 When the young man had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone Ezel, fell with his face to the ground, and bowed three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept with each other, though David wept more. 42 Jonathan then said to David, “Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the LORD when we said: The LORD will be a witness between you and me and between my offspring and your offspring forever.” Then David left, and Jonathan went into the city. In the solitude of an empty field, David and Jonathan met face-to-face. Initially, David spoke no words but fell with his face to the ground, and bowed three times. David’s gesture of bowing three times in this single encounter is more than anyone else recorded

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in Scripture. David and Jonathan kissed each other (a common sign of greeting in that culture) and wept with each other. The text points out that David wept more. This statement is understandable when considering that Jonathan risked his own life to save David’s life.

Jonathan broke the silence by saying, “Go in the assurance the two of us pledged in the name of the LORD.” They both understood the gravity of the moment and the fact that they would never again enjoy an easy, informal friendship. The phrase go in the assurance is also translated “go in peace.” It was an expression of goodwill used for extended or permanent separations (Ex. 4:18; 2 Kings 5:19). It was also used when a superior spoke to an inferior (1 Sam. 1:17; 25:35). However, by using the words us, we, and you and me, Jonathan reminded David of their mutual friendship.

Jonathan’s parting words reveal a friendship based on a commitment to God. They had sworn in the name of the LORD, and this gesture was an act that ancient Israelites would not take lightly (Ex. 20:7; Lev. 19:12). This covenant extended beyond Jonathan and David and included their descendants forever. Apart from one other brief meeting (1 Sam. 23:16-18), this scene depicts the last time they would see each other. David and Jonathan would remain inseparably joined by the oath they swore in the Lord’s name.

We can be thankful that, ultimately, Jesus showed us what true friendship is when He called His disciples friends for whom He laid down His life. The possibility of friendship with Jesus is the result of His initiative and His costly sacrifice. On our part, obedience to Jesus defines what it means to be His friend (see John 15:13-16).

List elements required to make a timeless friendship. How many of these elements are seen in the relationship between Jonathan and David? Can these elements be fostered within a relationship, or do they just happen?

KEY DOCTRINE: Christian Community

Christian unity in the New Testament sense is spiritual harmony and voluntary cooperation for common ends by various groups of Christ’s people.

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IN MY CONTEXTGodly friendship is not self-centered; it seeks the best for others. True friendship is based on mutual trust and faithfulness. We can be thankful that Christ promises never to leave or forsake us, being a Friend for eternity.

Identify the friends with whom you have stuck through good and bad times. What are you doing to put their needs ahead of your own? What changes do you need to make in how you relate to them?

List the things you believe to be the greatest threats to true friendship. What actions are you taking to guard your friendships against those threats? Discuss with the group the role they can have in helping you guard godly friendships.

Reflect on the promise that Jesus will never leave or forsake His followers. Record your thoughts about that idea. Take time to thank Him for being a faithful Friend even when you are not.

MEMORY VERSEJonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. —1 Samuel 18:3

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