faith without father - 1.0

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FaithWithoutFather1.0 SidSmolen,2009 Page1of34

FAITHWITHOUTFATHERBEYONDGODANDATHEISM

AnAlternativetoReligion

ForDoubtersandNonBelievers

***

BySid

Smolen

September27,2009


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PARTONEFAITH,AFAITH,ANDSEEINGFAITH

Faithistheproductofdesire

InPartOne,Idefineanddistinguishbetweenfaith,aFaith,andaseeingFaith. ButImgoingtostartby

talkingaboutfacts.

Factsare thosethingsyouhavetobelieve,whetheryou likethemornot. Theresnota lotofchoice

when itcomestoweallgetolderuntilwedieorpreciousvases falltothegroundwhenyoudrop

them. Nomatterhowferventlywemightwishforthemnottobetruetheyremainstubbornlyso.

Onecouldsaywehaveknowledgeoffactslikeagingandgravity.

Faith,ontheotherhand,isabeliefinthingswhichcouldbetrue,butwhicharenot100%supportedby

facts. Faithisachoice,adecisiontobelievedrivenbyadesireforthethingtobetrue.

For example, it isa fact thatmyname isSidneyRaySmolen. Unless and until I change it, itdoesnt

matterhowmuchImaydislikeit,itisandwillremainafact.

But consider my belief that this treatise is clever and insightful. There are no facts whatsoever to

supportthisbeliefbut,since Iwantsomuchfor ittobetrue, Ichoosetobelieve it. Sure, Iknow it

couldbesophomoricdrivel,butIdontletthatstopme. IhavefaiththatmyworkisworthwhileandI

keepgoing.

Inotherwords,myfaithinmyastutenesssustainsme. And,likeallfaith,itisbornandfueledbydesire.

Ireally,reallywanttoseemyself(andhaveothersseeme)asasageandoriginalthinker,soIchooseto

believethat

Iam.

Wemakethesekindsofleapsallthetime. IsincerelybelieveIwillbesafewhenIgetonthefreeway. I

dohaveplentyoffactstorationallysustainthatbelief(Ijustgotnewbrakes,Ipaygoodattention)butI

fullyrealizethatatirecouldexplodeorIcouldgetblindsidedbyadrunkdriver. But,sinceIreallywant

tobelieveIwillarriveattheofficesafelyIhaveanenablingfaiththatIwill.

Rarely are beliefs purely fact or purely faith most of them are a combination of both and fall

somewhereonwhat IhavechosentocalltheFact/FaithBeliefContinuum. Otherthanthings likethe

inevitability of aging and gravity, most belief rests on a foundation of both fact and faith and falls

somewhereontheContinuum.

YoullfindmyhighlytechnicalgraphicrepresentationoftheBeliefContinuumonthenextpage..


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FACTS FAITH

BELIEF

Hard Evidence DesireThe Belief Continuum

MybeliefthatmybrakeswillstopwhenIsteponthemisfartotheFactside(eventhoughtheycould

fail,thefactsofmyrecentbrakejobstronglysuggestthattheywont). Mybelief inmyphilosophical

insightfulness is clearly to the Faith side, founded on precious few facts, sustained entirely by my

desire.

***

Now,letstalkaboutaFaith.

AreligiousFaith isacodifiedsetofbeliefsandpracticesdevelopedandperfectedovertimetodeliver

metaphysicalcomfort tobelievers. Bymetaphysicalcomfort, Imean thesense that there isa steady

groundtowalkoninanuncertainexistence,thatthebigspiritualquestionshavebeenanswered,that

thereisareliablesourceofguidanceandaconnectiontosomethinggreater.

Iknow littleaboutChristianity, far lessabout Islam,andeven less than thataboutBuddhism. Still, it

seemslike

metaphysical

comfort

are

the

primary

goals

for

each.

Maybe

the

difference

is

that

the

FatherbasedreligionsaskyoutoturntoGodasthesourceforthatcomfortandBuddhismteachesyou

tostepoutofyourselfandawayfromthosedemandsaltogether.

But, in any case, the codified set of beliefs and practices I call my Post Paternal Faith consistently

bringsmetoaplaceofspiritualcomfort. AndsoIfeeljustifiedincallingitanuppercaseFkindof

Faith.

***

Finally, Iwant tomake adistinctionbetween blindFaithand seeingFaith. When weuse thephrase

blindfaith,

we

mean

belief

in

the

complete

absence

of

facts

abelief

which

is

all

the

way

to

the

Desire end of the Continuum. We all use this tool from time to time like Well get through this

somehoworHewouldntlietome.

Notwithstanding the intellectualand institutional grandeuroforganized religion,noonecan point to

indisputable, scientificallyverifiableevidence facts toprove that God exists. Tome this isnot in

BELIEF


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PARTTWO:

HAVINGFAITHWITHOUTFATHER

HerearethearticlesofmyPostPaternalFaith:

I. TheFatherInstinctExists

II. ItisBettertoThinkasanAdultthanasaChild

III. TheHearingMindisaGift

IV. TheGiftMustBeAffirmativelyAcceptedandHonored

V. TheGiftMustBeFulfilled

VI. ThereisaCommonCore

VII. TheHearingMindisaFlame

VIII. ICanFindGraceWithoutGod

ThesearethebeliefsIchoosetoholdbecauseIdesirespiritualcomfortandtheybringittome

I. TheFatherInstinctExistsIn

the

beginning,

Iwas

jogging

on

abeautiful

sunny

day

when

Iwas

struck

by

yet

another

stubbornly

recurrent desire for God. I felt a powerful yearning for Him to look down and notice my virtuous

attemptatfitness. Normally,Iwouldsimplyhavedismissedthisfeelingandletitslipthroughthesieve

ofmyatheistmindset.

This time, though, I puzzled onwhy I felt that need. Whywould I want Godafterall these years of

atheism where, where despite my continual attraction to and interest in religion, I never even once

cameclosetobeliefinGodinanyform?

And then the revelation: my subconscious mind was wanting an emotional experience of divine

approvalsimilartothatImighthavegottenfrommyfatherthefirsttimehewatchedfiveyearoldme

successfully make it down the sidewalk on a twowheeler without crashing. I wanted the glow of

receivingapprovalfromasupremebeing.

This realization made me differentiate between my need for God and the factual nature of Gods

existence. Iconcluded that, regardlessofwhat I thoughtaboutGod,myneed forHimwasbasedon

somethingveryrealandthatIhadtodosomethingaboutaddressingthatneed.


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So,initsessence,thistreatiseismyanswertothequestionIfnot,Godthenwhat? Ivespentallthis

timeworkingonitbecauseIamcertainthatnothingisabadanswertothatquestion.

ButbeforeIgoon,Ishouldanswertheobviousquestion:IfIYearnforGod,whynotjustgoaheadand

believe inHim? WhybotherspendingsevenyearsconstructingasillyPostPaternalFaithwhenthere

areseveral

other,

time

tested,

quite

popular

Faiths

readily

available

to

me

on

every

third

street

corner

inAmerica?

Threereasons.

First,Ithinkwecandobetterthantobasesuchanimportantpartofourlivesachievingmetaphysical

comfortonsomethingwhichrequiressomuchdesireforittobetrue. Seriously,evenafirmbeliever

must admit that many Fatherbased religious beliefs are as far from the Fact side of the Belief

Continuumascanbe Genesis,Heaven&Hell,TheBurningBush,Adam&Eve,andtheVirginBirthto

namejustafew.

Second,despite

its

many

contributions

to

the

spiritual

well

being

of

the

billions,

Icant

get

past

the

fact

thatreligionseparatespeople. Itdoesbringthemtogetheringroups,butitseparatesthegroupsfrom

eachother.

Maybe its because the leap of faith to Father requires such a firm grip, but many of these religious

groupsconsidertheirreligiontobetheonlyTruereligion. Thisholdingunavoidablyleadssuchgroups

to unpleasant conclusions about anyother religiousgroup something along the lines of oneof us

mustbewrong,anditisntme. And,throughouthistoryandinourpresentday,waytoomanyofthese

groupshavegottenreallyangry,cruel,anddestructiveintheirpursuitofthesetypesofdisagreements.

Finally,Ibelievethatitisbettertoaddressalloflifeschallengesbothphysicalandmetaphysicalas

anadult

rather

than

achild.

Like

the

young

person

who

gathers

the

courage

to

leave

home

and

find

his

wayasan independentadult, Ithink it isgrowthandmaturitytomovebeyondrelianceonFatherfor

mattersmetaphysical.

***

FatherKnowsBest

Afamousmid20thcenturyTVshow

ByFather Instinct, I mean the impulse to turn toFather (or,moregenerically,asupremebeing) to

satisfythe

metaphysical

needs

created

by

our

evolutionary

endowment.

Bymetaphysicalneeds,Irefertotheinnatedesiresforthingsbeyondthephysicalrealm. Sowherewe

havephysicalneedsforfood,water,sex,andshelter;andwehavepsychologicalneedsforimportance,

companionship, and sex we have, in my formulation, metaphysical needs for Knowledge and

Connection.


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ByKnowledge, Imeantheurgestoknowwhatweare,whywearehere,andwhatweshoulddo. By

Connection,Imeanthedesiretobeconnectedtosomethinglargerthanourselvesthatlovesandcares

forus. Ibelievethesemetaphysicalneedscomefromtheevolutionaryforcesthatmadehumanbeings

human.

Ithink

the

urge

to

turn

to

Father

originates

in

the

helpless

dependence

of

infancy

and

early

childhood,

whenweareindeliblyimprintedwiththepresenceandlovingcareofoneormoreallpowerful,inerrant

parentalsupremebeings.

First,mytheoryontheoriginofthemetaphysicalneeds...

***

TheThreeIgnitions

At one point, the process of life ignited on earth the first Ignition. Where once there was only

matter and energy, a unique combination of both emerged, capable of reproducing itself. It was a

mindlesslyselfpropellingelectrochemicalprocessofbirth,consumption,reproduction,anddeath.

Through the eons, through random mutations and the victories of survival, the process created

countlessandevermorecomplexvariations, someverysuccessful (thecockroach), some lessso (the

dinosaurs). Asfarasweknow,untilhumans,eachofthesevariationsfulfilledthemandatesofthelife

processinthesamerotemannerastheirpredecessors,guidedonlybyaninherent,unthinkingneedto

reproduceandsurvive.

Sincetheprehumanswereprobablythefirsttorelymoreon intelligencethanquickness,strength,or

ferocity to survive, thosewho could thinkabouthowand recallpreviousexperiences ofhownot

mostlikely

did

better

than

those

who

couldnt.

Intelligence

became

akey

selection

criteria

and

brain

functioncontinuedtoincrease.

Then,atsomepoint,thesecond Ignitiontookplace:thefirsthumansbegantohearthemselvesthink.

Whereoncetherewereonlyprimatesinstinctivelydoingtheworkofthelifeprocess,humansbeganto

hear themselves in theauditoriumof theirminds. Somethingspeaking,somethingasking,something

listening,somethingmakingdecisionsandtheconceptofIwasborn. I like tocall ittheHearing

Mind.

One of the most importantbenefits of this innerdialoguewas furtherdeveloping theability to think

abouthowthingscanbedone. HowcanImakeafire? HowcanImakeahutthatwontfalldown

inthe

rain?.

Although

their

earlier

brothers

and

many

primates

could

do

some

of

that

(like

sharpening

sticksorbreakingnutsopenonarock),theevolutionarilysuccessfulearlyhumansweretheonesthat

coulddo itbetter. Thebetterhuts,thewarmerfiresthebetterchancesofnotgettingdiseasesand

dyingearly.


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AndthenthethirdIgnition:why?. Atsomepoint,somehairyhumanthought,waitaminutewhy

doblueberriesgrowon this sideof the field rather than thatside? In fact,whydo theygrowatall?

Doessunlighthaveanythingtodowithit? Water? Isubmitforyourconsiderationthat,ofalltheliving

creaturesonthisgreenandblueglobe,onlyhumansaskwhy?. And, I furthersubmitthatcurious

earlypeopledidbetterthantheirincuriouscounterparts.

(Or maybe we arejust the only ones with enough brain power to answer the questions. Clearly

monkeys and dogs make expressions that look like whuuut? and, who knows, maybe theyre

perpetuallyirritatedthattheansweralwayscomesbackdamnit Ijustdontknow!)

Anyway, at the same time, early humans, like most of their various mammalian relatives, are born

physically helpless, entirely dependent on mothers milk and the warmth of parental swaddling.

Completely unable to feed or clothe themselves, infants have no choice but to need the care and

attentionofadults. Humansbeginlifeasthedependentchargesoftheirparentsorothercaringadults.

Finally, early humans also found great value in tribal associations. Mutual protection, mating

opportunities,the

benefits

of

cooperative

labor,

and

the

basic

pleasures

of

the

group.

And,

again,

I

submit,thatthosepronetoseekandenjoycommunitydidbetterthanthosethatdidntandtheywere

theoneswhohadbabiesandcouldprotectthembetteroncetheyhadthem.

Insummarytheincurious,uncaredfor lonerwas,in largepart,selectedoutofthehumanracewhile

the curious people who had a preference for tribe thrived and reproduced. We have inherent,

evolutionarilybestowedneedsforlearningandcommunity. ThedesiresforKnowledgeandConnection

areinourDNA.

Eventually, these fundamental desires for Knowledge and Connection extended beyond the merely

physical

(shelter,

weapons,

and

crops)

to

the

metaphysical

(What

am

I

compared

to

the

wildebeest?

WhathappenswhenIdie?). Theverysamebraincapableofaskingwhydoesthiswoodburnsbetter

thanthatwood?inevitablywouldaskthewhyamIhere?andwhatisright?typequestions. Andit

wouldfeeluncomfortablenotknowing.

Its easy to imagine people in the early villages and communities talking about these things, finding

comfort in their shared speculationsand,ultimatelycodified beliefs. Gathering arounda prehistoric

campfiretohearthespiritualisttalkaboutthegods,totems,spiritswhateverseemsanunavoidable

outcomeofthefundamental,geneticallyadvantageousyearningsforKnowledgeandConnection.

Then,about3,000yearsagosomewhereinMesopotamia,someoneconsolidatedallthesesuperbeings

intoasingle

Supreme

Being

aFather.

Since

in

many

cultures

and

traditions

afather/chieftan

was

alreadyinchargewithrespecttophysicalmattersthisdevelopmenthadgreatintuitiveresonanceand

wasdestinedforhighpopularity. Butitwasntuntilaboutathousandyearslater,whenpeoplestarted

believingHecreateda fleshlySonasHisemissaryonearth,that it reallycaughton. Severalhundred

yearslater,HisProphetappearedtopeopleelsewhereintheMiddleEastandthetriumvirateofFather

basedWesternReligionwascomplete.


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Each, a Faith to serve our genetically selected for and unavoidable yearnings for Knowledge and

Connection.

NextwhydoweturntoFathertosatisfytheseyearnings?

***

Heisalone.

Isolatedinthevast,mysteriousexpansesofhisuniverse,heistroubledandafraid. Hebeginstotremble,

fearanduncertaintyoverwhelmhim.

Heissuesanurgent,ferventprayerforattentionandrelief,hoping,cryingoutforananswer.

Suddenly,asifinanswertothisprayer,abrilliantlightappears;hisfieldofvisionisoverwhelmedfrom

abovebyanallpowerfulsupremebeingwhoenvelopshimincompleteandperfectlovingcare.

Maybehehadgas,awetdiaper,orjustfeltanoutofthewombmomentofexistentialpanic,butwhen

MomorDadturnsonthenurserylightandpickshimup,theinfanthasjustbeencomfortedphysically

and emotionally in a way that, for the rest of his life, he will want and expect to get. He has been

imprintedwiththepresenceofasuperpowerfulbeinginchargeofhiscareandcomfortasupreme

being,ifyouwill. ThisisthesecondhalfoftheFatherInstinct.

WhenIwasakid,IthoughtmydadwasSuperman. Then,whenIgotolder,I

realizedhewasjustadrunkwithacape.

DaveAttel

As Mr. Attel so poignantly observed, the viewpoint of a child towards his Parent can be somewhat

unrealistic. Needlesstosay,noneofushaveallpowerful,inerrantparentswhocanguideandprotect

uswiththeirperfect,unconditionallove. Buttotheoneyearold,itmustsurelyseemthatway.

Sincewe startoutwith thebenefitsofbeing theobjectofa supremebeings loveandattention,we

quitenaturallyyearnforthosebenefitsonceweencounterthemorecomplexquestions,troubles,and

mysteriesof life inyoungadulthood. Evenasweturntowardsadulthood,whenthegoinggetstough,

westillwantourDaddy.

Whenthis

urge

for

the

supreme

parent

of

childhood

combines

with

our

evolutionarily

endowed

questsforKnowledgeandConnectionitbecomestheFatherInstinct.

Of course, I well understand that not everyone (or maybe not even most of us) grows up under the

loving care of both Mom and Dad. The supreme parent can be one or the other, two Moms, a

Grandpa,anoldersibling,avillageforthepurposesofmyanalogy,itdoesntmatter.


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EventhoughitwouldhavebeenmoreaccuratetocallittheParentInstinct,IchosetocallittheFather

Instinctbecause,inWesternreligion,GodistheFather,nottheMotherorUncle.

(SomehowGod, theUncledoesntquitehave the same ring to it. In the reverse, thinkabouthow

muchmoreominousandtotalitarianFatherSamwouldhaveseemedcomparedtothemorebenignly

interestedUncle

Sam.)

Sobecausewebeginlifeundertheimpressionweareinthepresenceofasupremebeing,itsveryeasy

toresumethatbelieflaterinlife. Itis,afterall,afamiliarandcomfortablepattern. Itsnaturalandeasy

to expect and believe there is a Father in charge, a Father to whom we can turn for that longlost

inerrantguidance,protection,knowledge,andunconditional love tosatisfy thegeneticallyencoded

yearningsforKnowledgeandConnectionandfeelbetteraboutourveryexistence.

Mixthemetaphysicalneedsofadulthoodandtheexperientialprogrammingofchildhoodandyouget

theFatherInstinct.

II. ItisBettertoThinkasanAdultthanasaChildWhen an infant turns up to meet its mothers eyes, it is a bond of love for both of them that is

unequalled inourexperience. Whenatoddlercomestodaddyforhelpwithhisshoes, itsabeautiful

exchangeofcaringandknowledge. Whenateenageraskshisfatherforadviceabouttheoppositesex,

itsallpartofgrowingup.

Butultimately,forhisownwellbeing,thatchildmustbreakawayandbecome independent. Hemust

learntobeselfreliant,responsibleforhisown life. Wewouldregardwithscornanablebodiedthirty

fiveyearold living inhisparentsbackroom, lettinghismomcookdinnerwhileheplaysvideogames

insteadofworking. GrowUp!wedthink,getoffyourbuttandgooutthere,takecareofyourself,

andbeaman!

Thinking through lifes challenges as an adult is the clearly preferable alternative to taking a childish

viewofevents. Wewouldalladmiretheunemployedyoungfamilymansadultdecisiontogobackto

schooltogainmarketableskills;wewouldalldeplorehischildishdecisiontodrinkbeeralldaywithhis

buddiesandassumethatsomethingwillcomealong.

Well,Ifeelthesamewaytowardsaddressingourmetaphysicalneeds.Yes,wehavetheFatherInstinct

its part of our DNA and our childhood experiences. But as long as we succumb to it, we remain

children,still

asking

Father

for

help.

ImagineNoReligion

Ofcourse,JohnslyricwasImaginetheresnoheavenitsonlylaterthathesaysnoreligiontoo.

Buttome,imaginenoreligioniswhathemeant. Ithinkhewassuggestingthatweimagineaworldof


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peoplewhofeltthattheirliveswerenotinGodshands,thateventswerenotpartofHisplan. That,in

fact,theywereontheirowntomakeoftheirlivesthatwhichtheycouldimaginethemtobe.

***

Thecollege

freshman

watches

the

taillights

of

his

parents

car

heading

for

the

interstate

after

hes

been

movedintothedormitory. Heisstruckwiththepowerfulknowledgethathehasenteredintoanew

stateofbeingindependent,unsupervised,onhisown.

Heisbothshakenandstimulatedwiththepossibilities.

Doesheheadstraighttothebeerkegandallnightparties,realizingwithathrillthat,atlast,nooneis

reallywatchinganymore? Ordoesheruntothedormroom,huddleundertheblanketsofhiscoldnew

bedandtremblewiththefearofbeingtotallyalonewithoutthewarmcomfortsofparentallove,

guidance,andprotection?

Orperhaps

he

fully

experiences

the

bracing

sensation

of

newly

found

freedom,

of

the

realization

that,

for

theveryfirsttime,outofhisparentshome,heisanadult.And,simultaneously,hefeelstheascendant

liftofacceptingthehumblingchallengesandprofoundresponsibilitiesinextricablyconnectedtohisnew

adulthood.

Ibelievethateachofus,andtheworldasawhole,couldbeabetterplacetobeifwerespondedtothe

FatherInstinctwithadulttypethinkingratherthanturningasachildtoaHeavenlyFather.

Ofcourse, this isanarticleofFaith,notbased inany facts. Ibelieve it restsonasolid inference if

thinkingasanadultisbetterforchallengesinthephysicalrealm,itfollowsthatitwouldalsobesointhe

metaphysicalrealm.

But

again,

ultimately,

Ichoose

to

believe

this

because

Iwant

to

believe

it

and

I

makenoassertionthatitisfactuallytrue.

In fact, I know that nearly everyone disagrees with me. I think I read somewhere that atheists (not

merelydoubtersoragnostics,buttruenonbelievers)arethesmallestminorityinAmerica.

Illevenmakesomecounterarguments. Countrieswherereligionhasbeenbannedareamonghistorys

worst places (like the former USSR). And, once the restriction is lifted, religion almost immediately

flourishes. A case can be made that people need religious authority to bolster their commitment to

behave inamoralmanner. Ihavenodoubtthatreligiousbeliefprovidesacrucialbasisofhopeand

peacetothosewhosuffertheoppressionsofpovertyandauthoritarianregimes.

Yet, like the freshman above, assuming the mantle of selfresponsibility can be among lifes most

ennoblingandexhilaratingacts. Beingproductiveandvirtuousasamatterofchoiceis,tome,ahigher

accomplishmentthanproductivityandvirtueachievedinresponsetoFatherscommand.


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Thenext fiveArticlesaremyanswer toifnotGod, thenwhat?;sortof theBeyondAtheismpart.

They are the beliefs that form my sustaining Faith, around which I organize an understanding and

satisfactionofthemetaphysicalneeds.

III. TheHearingMindisaGiftThesecondarticleofmyFaithisthatIchoosetothinkoftheHearingMindasaGift. Thegiverofthis

Gift is theevolutionaryprocesseswhichcreated thehumanbrain abrain thatcanwonderwhyand

thencomeupwithanswers. Sincewehumansaretheonlycreaturesonearth(andalmostcertainlythe

onlyones inoursolarsystem,most likely theonlyones inourgalaxy) thathavebeengiven thisGift,

havingitmakesmefeelhonoredandspecial,myPostPaternalversionoffeelingblessed.

NowbeforeyousnickerandwalkawayatthisthirdgradedeclarationofImspecial!, letmeexplain

whyIvechosentoadoptthisbeliefthenyoucanresumeyoursnickering.

Ithinkthemetaphysicalneeds forKnowledgebroadlygo likethis:Whatam Icomparedtoeverything

else?WhyamIhere? WhatshouldIdo?

Fatherbasedreligionsofferverysatisfyinganswers:youareoneofGodschildren,made inHis image;

youarehereaspartofHisplan;youshouldfollowHisword.

NowIhavepromisedtoreigninanytendencytobeoffensivetomyreligiousfriends,butIcanthelpit

here. Doesntthissoundawfullyfamiliar?Sortofexactly likewhataparentwouldtellhischild, ifthe

childaskedthesequestions?

WhatamI?MommyandDaddysspecialchild. WhyamIhere? BecauseMommyandDaddywanteda

child,sowemadeyou. WhatshouldIdo? Doexactlywhatwetellyou,becauseweknowwhatsgood

foryou. Justbecauseapowerfulreligious leader indistinctivegarmentsprovidesthisadvice itsstill

theknowingadulttalkingdowntothewideeyedchild.

Theproblem,ofcourse,isthattherealanswersaremuchworse.

WhatamIcomparedtoeverythingelse?Notmuchreally,justamomentaryassemblageofmatterand

energy,absolutelyinsignificantbyanymeasureofthevastnessofthephysicaluniverseortheunending

eonsoftime.Whyam Ihere? Because theprocessof lifeseeks toreplicate,soyourparentshadsex.

WhatshouldIdo? Uhh,thatssortofuptoyou.

Its not just that no one is going to build grand cathedrals to these answers, its that they are

disappointingandreallyprettyhardtobelieve. WithallthatgoesonintheHearingMindandtheworld

around us, how can we accept that were as meaningless as a dust bunny, nothing greater than an

indistinguishablecosmicflicker?

Thatjustcantbe. Itsaformofcognitivedissonancethataffectsusall.


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Ithinkthatsbecausewecantforgetthefirstprimalsetofemotionsimprintedinthevirginmemoriesof

our infantmind;thatweare inthecareandcontrolofan inerrant,allknowingsupremebeing(s). At

somelevelofourconsciousness,wecantforgetbeingtheobjectoftheirplans,howoursafety,success,

andhappinesswereparamounttothem. Fromtheinfantsviewpoint,theyseeaninfinitelakeoflifein

thecareofaSupremeBeingspreadingoutbeforethem.

This made us feel important and immortal in a way we could never feel again once the realities of

physicalexistencebecamerevealedinlaterchildhood. Thatis,unlessanduntilwecanbelievethatwe

havethatsameattentionfromanevenbigger,moreinerrant,morepowerfulsupremebeingGod,the

(new)Fatherwhoseesus, lovesus,helpsus,andhasHisplans forus,whicheven include infinite life

oncewejoinwithHiminHeaven.

Well,fromme,thatsnotiteither. Iunderstandtherealityofbeingthatindistinguishablecosmicflicker,

butIalsoknowIamprogrammedtowanttofeellikealotmorethanthat.

SoIchosetobelievethatIamtherecipientofaholyGift:theHearingMind. Ofcourseitsassillyasa

thirdgrader

but

its

afundamental

post

in

the

structure

of

my

Post

Paternal

Faith

and

without

it,

Im

backtobeingadustbunny.

SoletslookatthisGiftandadmireit,shallwe? WecantellBeethovenfromBach,wecanfindjoyfrom

themotionlessexcitementofa late inningballgame. Wecanwritesonnetsandbuildskyscrapers;we

canmeasurethedistancetoafargalaxyandwecantrytoimaginewhatthatdistancemeans. Wecan

knowwhenwerehappy,knowwhenwerenot,andwecantrytofigureoutwhattodoaboutit.

TheHearingMindisthehighestexpressionofthelifeprocessonearth. Ithasexistedfortheslimmest

of time slices yethasproduced an astonishing amountof physical and metaphysical wealth and well

being.

It

has

unimaginable

power

to

destroy,

but

it

has

equal

power

to

achieve

ever

higher

accomplishmentsifwecansummonthewilltokeepturningitinthatdirection.

Inmyquestforspiritualcomfort,IhaveasustainingfaiththattheHearingMindisaGiftaGifttobe

deeplyappreciated,reverentlyhonored,andfullyutilized.

IV. TheGiftMustBeAffirmativelyAcceptedandHonoredIftheHearingMindisarareandpreciousGiftthenitfollowsthatIshouldverygraciouslyacceptand

honorit. AndthisismyfourtharticleofFaith.

Nowwhen

Isay

accept,

Idont

the

resignation

type

of

acceptance,

as

in

I

accept

my

lack

of

baseball

talent. Rather,ImeanthekindofactiveacceptanceoneassociateswithaprivilegeasinIacceptmy

admissiontothepracticeoflaworIaccepttherotatingtitleofHighHonchooftheHonorificLodgeof

Larry.


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AndwhenIsayhonor,Imeanasortofhumblereverencethatengendersasenseofrespectfulcare.

ItsnotaplaquemeanttogatherdustinthebasementitsaGiftofsuchspectacularproportionsand

beauty,thatitmustbeadmiredandpolisheddaily.

Itsthekindofaffirmativeacceptanceandhonoringthat,giventheseriousmetaphysicalnatureofthe

subjectmatter,

should

be

accompanied

by

amedieval

mono

hum

of

Gregorian

chant

or

adark

echoing

pipeorganfantasiafillingaholyplace. (OrmaybeInnaGadaDaVidaImnotentirelysure.)

Sortoflike:

I, Sid Smolen, accept the Gift of the Hearing Mind with gratitude,

reverence,andasenseofduty. Imarvelatitsspectacularcapacity,Iam

humbledbyitsrarityandtemporality.Iwillstrivetohonoritatalltimes

byfulfillingitsimmensepotential.

Its likewalking intoa15thCenturychurch inBelgium, lookingaroundat thesoaringarchitecture, the

stained

glass

windows,

the

gilded

instruments

of

worship,

and

being

awed

by

all

that

you

see.

Contemplatingtheexistenceofhumanconsciousness isasmysticalandoverwhelmingasthegrandest

accomplishments of religious architecture. (The difference, of course, is that one is an inward

examination of the complex contours and caverns of the Hearing Mind, the other an outward

appreciationofthesplendorofwellarrangedbuildingmaterials.)

V. TheGiftMustBeFulfilledIfsomeonegaveyouaneightfootSteinwaygrandpiano,wouldyoubecontenttoplayChopsticks? Of

course not youd feel compelled to perfect most if not allof theBeethoven Sonatas or, if you had

hands

of

my

size

and

dexterity,

at

least

be

able

to

play

the

chords

to

all

the

Beatles

songs.

Thepointisthatitisjustplainungratefulandlazytoleaveawondrousgiftunusedandgatheringdust.

And,sinceI believetheHearingMindisjustsuchaGift,Ialsobelievewehaveanunavoidabledutyto

utilizeitasfullyaspossible. Itisinthiswaythatweultimatelyhonorourreceiptofit.

InmyPostPaternalFaith, IbelievethattheGiftoftheHearingMind ismostcompletelyhonoredand

fulfilledby:

ContinuingtoBecome AspiringtoVirtue FindingtheEnjoyment

TocompletemyprioroathofAcceptance


16/34


I, Sid Smolen, accept the Gift of the Hearing Mind with gratitude,

reverence,andasenseofduty. Imarvelatitsspectacularcapacity,Iam

humbledbyitsrarityandtemporality.

IaccepttheObligationsthataccompanythisGift. Iimposeuponmyself

the

obligations

to

Fulfill

its

potential

by

Continuing

to

Become,

by

AspiringtoVirtue,andbyFindingtheEnjoyment

Once IexplainwhatImeanbythesethings, Illtalkabouthowtheyworktogetherforme,ebbingand

flowing,tocreatethemetaphysicalcontentmentIseek.

ContinuingtoBecomeHenotbusybeingbornisbusydying.

BobDylan

It'sAlright,Ma(I'mOnlyBleeding)

Ofanyphrasefromtheannalsofpopmusic,Ibelievethisonehashadthemostsignificantand lasting

impactonme. It issoprofoundlytrueand important,sosuccinctlyputandmeansasmuchtome(or

more)at61aswhenIfirsthearditinmyteens.

Ihaveaclearandsimple faiththattoFulfilltheGift,youneedtokeepmovingtowardsmoremore

accomplishment(whateveryoumightseethattobe),moreunderstanding,morewisdom,morevirtue,

morepeace,morelaughter.

Wecan

take

time

out,

for

sure.

Watch

aDodger

game,

snorkel

in

the

Caribbean,

have

drinks

with

loved

ones(seeFindingtheEnjoyment). Butinthebiggerpicture,IbelievethatresponsiblyfulfillingtheGift

requiresdiligent,persistent,andongoingbecoming. Iimaginethatdayitstopsis,quiteliterally,theday

Iseemyoncomingdeathandeventhen,IhopeIwillfindawaytoBecomeatpeacewithitsinevitability.

And,itwillcomeasnosurprisewhenIsayIbelievethatadoptingPostPaternalviewsandpracticesisa

criticalpartofmyBecoming.

AspiringtoVirtueIhaveapowerful,unshakablefaiththatwehaveasolemnandunavoidabledutytotrytodotheright

thingin

this

world.

And,

Ithink

most

people

would

agree

with

me,

at

least

in

principle.

Further, I think thatmostpeoplehavean innateunderstandingofwhat theright thing ismostof the

time. Being truthful, considerate, helpful we all understand the rightness and the value. The

challenge,ofcourse,istoconsistentlyanddiligentlyputthatunderstandingintopractice.


17/34


18/34


would a more truthful assessment bejust what the other person needs to begin that long needed

adjustmentofcaloricintake?

Im sure the conversation would be fun and worthwhile. You can even check for yourself, as Ive

decided to make Why Is Fitness a Virtue? one of the first subjects of my next work: Further

Conversations.(I

know,

my

public

breathlessly

awaits.)

Butevenwithoutadetailedanalysistosupport it, ifyouaspiretokindnessratherthan indifferenceor

cruelty,yourequitelikelytomakeyourselfandtheworldabetterplacetobe. Sameforaspirationsof

civility,openmindedness, fairness thewhole list: ifyouare tryingtodecidewhetherornottodoa

certainthing,itisusefultoaskyourselfwoulddoingitmakebothmeandtheworldabetterplaceto

be?

Theandpart is important,as ittempersself indulgence inthesearchforhappiness. Theobnoxious

fellowwho lightsupabig fat,phalliccigar incloseproximity to thosewhohavenotassentedto that

particularassaultontheirnasalpassagesmaybehavingfun.

But,heismostassuredlynotmakingtheworldaroundhimabetterplacetobe. Twentyotherpeoples

relaxationhasbeenspoiledandmaybeoneofthemevendrivesoffinadrunkenhuffandcrasheshiscar

oryellsathiskidfornoreason.

Myactismoralifmakesbothmeandtheworldabetterplacetobe.

Itsasmall,obviousprinciple,butIwillsaythatinthepracticeofmyFaithinparticulartheAspiringto

Virtuecomponentitservesmeverywell.

FindingtheEnjoymentDontWorry,BeHappy

BobbyMcFerrin

Nomysteryherefindthefunwhenyoucan;lifeistooshortnottohavefun;lifeistoolongnottohave

fun. Illspareyoutheremainingclichs.

Thereason I includethiswellwornprescription,though, istobeableto talkaboutthethree legged

stoolofBecoming,AspiringtoVirtue,andFindingtheEnjoyment. Together,theyfulfilltheGift;only

oneortwodonot.

Avirtuousandaccomplishedpersonwhodoesntknowhowtohavefunormakelightofhimselfissadly

andboringlyincomplete;afunlovingpersonwithastringofaccomplishmentswhotreatsotherspoorly

is a self centered bastard; ajoyful and virtuous person who hasnt advanced his intellect or gained

wisdomhasashallowexistenceskippinglightlyalongtheedgesofhisHearingMind.


19/34


I have faith that Fulfilling the Gift the mandate attached to accepting it requires a conscious

attentiontoContinuouslyBecoming,AspiringtoVirtue,andFindingtheEnjoyment.

VI. ThereisaCommonCoreArticleVIof my Faith is that I believe that the great majority of us humans have a Common Coreof

desires and convictions. While religious differences often separate us, the needs and instincts that

createreligiousbeliefandethicalbehaviorcomefromthesameplace. Ithinkthattheplacejustmaybe

the three legged stool Ivejust described as Fulfilling the Gift Continuing to Become, Aspiring to

Virtue,andFindingtheEnjoyment.

Atsomelevel,Ibelievethatmostpeopleadmireandpursueaccomplishment,aspiretomoralbehavior,

and see the benefits of having fun. The evolutionary advantages of these qualities are obvious; the

occurrenceofthem isuniversal. Asabitofoppositeevidence,gothroughyourmental listofcultures

which do not value all three. Then ask yourself, isnt every one of them bleak, primitive and by

necessity,ruledbyfearandoppression?

I think the Common Core is what we mean when we say hes a good person (or its grammatically

homely cousin hes good people). Its often said in a way that suggests even though he may be

differentthanme,ormayhavedonesomethingIwouldnthavedoneIsensehisbasicadherenceto

anamorphoussetofqualitiesofgoodnessthatwesomehowallshare. InmyPostPaternalparlance,

hesagoodpersonmeanshetriestoFulfilltheGift.

IthinkabouttheconnectionIfeeltotwocoworkers. OneisarigorouslypracticingMuslim,theothera

sincereChristian,activeinhischurch. IknowthattheirFaithplaysasignificantroleinbothoftheirlives.

Inwaysmetaphysical,IfeelmuchmoreincommonwiththemthanIdowithothercoworkers,whose

material lifestylesaremuchclosertomyown. Onone level,ourcommonality isthatthethreeofus

feel the metaphysical needs in a powerful way and each of us spends a lot of our time dealing with

them.

But,moreimportantly,thethreeofusshareasetofvaluesthatareentirelyindependentofthemeans

bywhichweseektoaddressthemetaphysicalneedsweare,eachinourownwaytryingtoFulfillthe

Gift. Notwithstanding our stark religious differences, I think we may each be on the same highway,

headingtowardsthesamedestination,butjustindifferenttypesofcars.

Ithink

we

(and

awhole

lot

of

other

people)

have

aCommon

Core.


20/34


VII. TheHearingMindisaFlameIbelievethatnothingofmewillsurvivetheexpirationofmyphysicalbeing. IlovetheideaofHeaven,

butnomatterhowmuchIyearnforittobetrue,itssofartotheDesiresideoftheBeliefContinuumI

justcantgetthere.

ItsmucheasierformetothinkofmyHearingMindasbeing likeaflame. Boththingsseemlikethey

are really tangible things when they are there, but really, each isjust a byproduct of mass being

processedintoenergy.

Flameistheheatandlightcreatedbythecombustionofthatwhichisburning. Ononehand,itseems

likesomethingyoucouldpickupandcarryaway,that itexists independentlyandseparately fromthe

wood. But,ofcourse,commonexperiencesayswhenthewoodisgone,soisthefire.

IbelievetheHearingMindisexactlylikethat. Iamtheresultofbrainactivitycreatedandsustained

bythe

various

mechanical

components

and

processes

of

the

body

air,

water,

and

food

in,

lungs

breathing, intestines absorbing, blood circulating, cells dividing, chemicals transmitting. And when

thoseprocessesstop,themegoesaway,justliketheflamestopswhenthewoodrunsout.

Iagree, itdoesntseem right. Flame reallydoesseem likesomething,doesnt it?Didnt theancients

consider itoneofthefourelements? ArentIsomethingmorethanmeat,pipes,electricity,andbrain

chemicals?

CouldntFathertakemeoutofthemachineandbringmetoHeaven? CouldntcamperBobtakethe

fireoutoftheburninglogsandbringitbacktohistent?

Onone

level,

there

is

asadness

to

the

obvious

answers

to

these

questions.

Yet,

Ihave

learned

to

find

greatcomfortinthismetaphor,againtobediscussedinPartTwo.

VIII. ICanFindGraceWithoutGodIn my rudimentary religious understanding, grace means being the object of Gods love and

forgiveness,nomatterwhoyouareorwhatyouvedoneevenawretch likemeas longasyou

believe inHim,acceptHim inyourheart,and try to followHisword. (By thispoint, itwouldbe too

obvioustocomparethistothesmallchildcomingtodaddyintears,gettinghisdaddysforgivenessand

guidance,andthechildsresultingemotionsofjoyandreliefright?)

Ihavechosentocooptthewordgrace inmyPostPaternalFaithtomeantheachievementofcalm,

joy,andresolution inthequest formetaphysicalKnowledgeandConnection. Whether these feelings

aregeneratedbytheimagingofGodsgraceorthepracticeofmyPostPaternalFaithIbelievethoseof

usintheCommonCoresharethesamedesireforthesefeelings.

PartThree,whichfollows,describeshowIfindGraceWithoutGod.


21/34


PARTTHREE:

FINDINGGRACEWITHOUTGOD

Inmymiddlethirties,Istartedgettingfat. Likesomanypeople,Itrieddiets,lostafewpounds,resumed

prioreatingpatternsandgainedthemrightback. Myparentswerebothontheheavysideand Iwas

determinedtoavoidthatgeneticdestiny. NotmuchIcoulddoaboutbeingshortorbaldingbut,damn

it,Icouldstopeatingfoodthatmademefat.

AndsoIdid. Icompletelygaveupredmeat,friedfoods,pastriesandthelike. Chicken,fish,vegetables,

fruits,wholegrainsthatsprettymuchbeenitforthelasttwentyfiveyears. Admittedly,thefirstfive

ortenyearswerehard,butultimately,thesatisfactionsofpermanentweightlossprovidedthefuelfor

largely effortless self control. Eventually, the idea of eating a cheeseburger or a glazed donut, as

irresistibleasithadbeenbefore,becameadistantmemory. Finally,orderingaDoubleDoubleandfries

for lunch seemed as ridiculous as ordering a pack of double A batteries for dinner neither being

somethingIwouldconsiderputtinginmymouthandchewing.

Mypointhereisnottoproselytizemyeatingstyle(although,incombinationwithjogging,ithas,forthe

mostpart,defeatedmygeneticdestinytobepudgy),butrathertopointtoanexampleinmylifewhere

decadesof ingrainedbehaviorpatternswere,bydetermined selfdiscipline,permanently changed for

thebetter.

I feel the same way about my Post Paternal Faith, except that its thought habits rather than eating

habits thatneededchanging. Aftermanyyearsofstrugglingwith theconflictbetweenmydesire for

God and my refusal to believe in Him, I changed my thinking patterns and won the battle. I taught

myselftousePostPaternalThoughtStructurestorespondtheFatherInstinctandtofindperiodsofSelf

Induced

Grace.

By

the

practiced

and

consistent

use

of

Post

Paternal

Thought

Structures

my

longing

for

Father,likemyoldappetitefordonuts,hasbecomeafadingmemory.

Neitherwaseasy. Evolutionaryforcescreatedapredilectionforcalorierichfood,asthehuntergatherer

frequentlywentlongperiodsbetweenmeals. And,otherevolutionaryforcesalongwiththeexperiences

ofinfancyandearlychildhoodcombinedcreatedthepowerfulFatherInstinct.

Not tomention,our languageandculturearesaturatedwithGod. Try to findaclauseequivalent to

Omigod!orThankGodorevenGoddamnit!tocompactlyconveyasimilarlevelofdeepsurprise,

gratitude,orirritation. Trytogosixblockswithoutseeingachurch,seveninningswithouthearingGod

BlessAmerica, paying cash fora tallcoffeewithoutbeing reminded thatInGod We Trust,oreven

sneezingwithout

getting

someones

well

intentioned

request

that

God

Bless

You.

SpeakingandthinkingwithoutreferencetoGod isnotaseasyasitsounds. Atonepoint,IthoughtId

develop some alternative phrases to replace the omigods and goddammits in my everyday

vocabularybutthatjustgotsilly.


22/34


Iraiseallthistopointouthow ingrainedwearewithFatherbasedthoughtstructures.Untilrecently,

even I, the lifelong atheist,could not help but experience a lovely wave of thank God when in the

thrallofaspectacularmountainvista. IvividlyrecallthepowerfulurgestopraytoGodformysonswell

being intheirvarioustimesofcrisis. Ineachcase,Islappedmyselfbacktomyatheisticmindset,butI

hadnothingtoreplaceorsubstitutefortheseemotionalresolutions.

ButnowIhavemyFaithwithoutFather,myPostPaternalFaith. Imprettysureitcantdeliverthesame

richemotionalbrewthatI imagine isprovidedbyreligiousFaith,but liketofu insteadofbacon,Ithink

itsabetterwaytosatisfytheappetite.

(Actually,Ieatalittleturkeybacon,butIdidntthinkitwasasgoodofasimile.)

IhavechosentodescribetheemotionalpayoffofmyPostPaternalFaithwiththecontradictoryphrase

GracewithoutGod. By thisphrase Imean toconveymyalternative to the senseofdeepjoyand

peacethatIimagineonefeelsinthelovingembraceofacaringFather.

Sohere

are

my

Post

Paternal

Thought

Structures

by

which

Iseek

Grace

Without

God.

They

are

adult

thought patterns, in that they do not depend on the Father/Child relationship. They are thought

structuresforsatisfyingthemetaphysicalquestionsandyearningsinaPostPaternalway.

Theyare:

I. IamHoly,IamBlessed

II. ConnecttotheCommonCore(LoveinCommon)

III. ItsBecauseofDeMeRa

IV.

TheInfinite

Zoom

V. TheFlameGoesOut(LettingGo)

VI. ItisWorthIt

VII. ItsAllUpToMe

TheygetmetowhereIwanttobeIfeelhappy,thequestionsareresolved,theyearningssatisfied. All

onmyown,notasachildtoFather,butasanindependent, strong,selfsustainingPostPaternalperson.

ThesePostPaternalThoughtStructuresmostlyaddresstheBecomingandFindingtheHappinesslegsof

mythree

legged

stool

Iuse

to

Fulfill

the

Gift.

(In

case

you

forgot,

the

other

leg

was

Aspiring

to

Virtue.)

I. IAmHoly,IamBlessedLikereceivingaGiftwithoutagiver,IamHolywithoutGod,IamBlessedwithoutaFathersbestowal.


23/34


Holy, as in the possessor, user, and beneficiary of language, art, science, and democracy amid the

unimaginablyvastandsilentexpanseofrock,dust,andemptyspacethatistheknownphysicaluniverse.

Blessed,asinlivinginthewesternworldin2009withplentifulcleanwater,healthyfood,iPhones,and

baseball.

Holy,asinbeingtheobjectofloveandadmirationfrompeoplewithwhomImconnected;blessedtobe

connectedtothem.

Holy, inmyability to think,write,playmusic,andbeastoundedby themajestyof thenaturalworld;

blessedtobediseasefree(fornow,anyway),geneticallysound,financiallycomfortable,andtobeable

toseeallthebeautyaroundme.

IcouldgoonbutImguessingyoudjustassoonIstop. Mypoint,though,issimple:IdontneedGod

toexistformetoexperiencethefeelingsIthinkpeoplemeanwhentheyusethewordholy,Idontneed

Fathers blessing to experience the sensations of being blessed. I can (and do) use Post Paternal

ThoughtStructures

to

get

to

the

same

place.

II. ConnecttotheCommonCoreItsThanksgivingdinnerandthewholefamilyisthere. Mom,Dad,sistersandbrothers,cousins,

grandparents,auntsanduncles.

AsDadcarvestheturkey,thesmallchildren,stillintheirblissfulignoranceofthecomplexrealitiesof

familydynamics,feelalovingconnectionamongalltheirdinnercompanion,asenseofbeingunitedina

loveforDadinapowerfulLoveinCommon.

This isabout the fundamentalDNA thirst forConnection. FromwatchingDadcarve theThanksgiving

turkeydinnerwithourfamilyaroundthetabletocheeringwithstrangersatalateinningDodgerrallyat

the Stadium, we are programmed to find great satisfaction being in the presence of those who love

whatwelove.

Ifeelcertainthatreligiouspeopleexperienceaparticularbeautifulpleasureofconnectionwheninthe

presenceofotherswholovethesameFatherinthesameway.ItsnoaccidentthattheLAfreewaysare

navigable on Sunday mornings or that the bars are crowded for Super Bowl. In each case (religious

worshipandthesportingevent),peoplearebroughttogetherbyaLove inCommon. We loveour

Father,

we

love

our

team

and

we

love

being

with

other

people

who

also

love

our

Father

and

love

our

team.

Itstribe,itsconnection. ThepowerofLoveinCommonexplainsnationalismandcultsofpersonality;it

explains Beatlemania and political volunteerism; it explains soccer hooliganism, it explains company

loyalty. Whetheritsharnessedforgoodorformayhem,weareallinstinctivelypronetoit.


24/34


So far, my Post Paternal Faith has a congregation of one so I dont get a lot of interpersonal

connectionsinmypracticeofit. ButIdotrytofindaLoveinCommonwiththeCommonCorewiththe

peopleImeet.

WhenImatmybest,inmydailylifeIlooktofindtheholyconnectionsamongthepeopleIencounter.

Ifeel

it

when

someone

tells

me

Idropped

something

Iwould

not

have

otherwise

noticed.

Ifeel

it

in

the

friendlyglanceofsomeonewholooksorsoundsawholelotdifferentthanIdo.

IknowIhaveaLoveinCommonwithsomanypeopleonthisplanet. Iknowthatweloveourchildren,

thatwe lovenoblesacrificeandcourageousmorality;thatwe love fairplayandhonesty,compassion,

andkindness.

IhavefaiththereisaCommonCoreandIhavealoveforthoseofuswhoshareit. Weareallconnected

toit,weareallboundtogetherbyourloveforit. ItsaholythingandIfeelblessedtobeapartofit.

III. ItsBecauseofDeMeRaThisisthePostPaternalThoughtStructureIusetoanswerthebigquestionsofWhy?. LikeWhydo

thingshappen? andWhydotheyhappentome?

Ofcourse, thesequestionscome from thegeneticallyendowedurges forKnowledge. Whether itsa

goodorbadthing,itsnotenoughtounderstandthatsomethinghashappenedweareprogrammedto

wanttoknowwhyithappened.

Letstakeanexampleofeach: AlbertjusthitawalkoffhomeruntowintheWorldSeriesandthehouse

Maryspentallhermoneyandtwoyearsbuildingwasdestroyedbyahurricanethedaybeforeshewas

tomove

her

family

in.

Whetherinexultantjoyorexhaustingsadness,eachattributesittoGod. Albertpointstothesky,awash

inafeelingofgratitudeforthegifthisFatherhasbestoweduponhim. Mary looksupward,accepting

thathergreatmaterial losswaspartofa lovingFathersplanforher. Albertfeelsgratitude,Marywill

findacceptancebothhavenofurtherneedtowonderwhy.

IdefinitelysensetovalueoftheanswerItsGodsplan. HesmyFatherwhomademeandlovesme,

itsHisPlan,itmustberight,Illbegratefulfor itorlearnto livewith it(asthecasemaybe),nomore

questionsneeded. SomethinglikethatoldbumperstickerthatsaidGodsaidit,Ibelieveit,thatsettles

it. Ihavenodoubtthatalotofcomfortsflowfromthatkindoffaith

Ireallycantcompetewiththat,but Ihavedevisedsomethingthatworksforme. Ihaveasimpleand

homelybeliefthatallthingshappenbecauseofthecombinationofthreethingstheDecisions Iand

other people make, the Mechanics of physical life on earth, and the influence on events of

Randomness. Nocloudspartingor theHandofGodjust anobvious structure Iuse toanswer the

questions.


25/34


Before I show you how I use it, let me explain a bit further. By mechanics, I mean the way matter,

energy,and lifeprocessesbehave. Things likegravity,photosynthesis,andtheprogressionofdisease.

Wecanobserve,measure,andpredictthesethingsand,withoutourintervention,theyhappenontheir

own.

Bydecisions,

Imean

the

decisions

that

Iand

others

make

which

lead

to

action

or

inaction.

And,

by

randomness, I mean either the mechanical things that we havent figured out yet or those behavior

patternswhicharefartoocomplexandsubtletodescribe.

Decisions, Mechanics, Randomness DeMeRa. Thats it, thats why things happen I see no other

reasons.

Now there are two significant differences between Gods Plan and DeMeRa. First, I dont think Im

stretching ittosaythatDeMeRa isconsiderablyfurthertotheFactssideoftheBeliefContinuumthan

GodsPlan.

Second,and

more

importantly,

even

though

responding

to

the

why

do

things

happen

question

with

Gods Plan and DeMeRa may ultimately create the same emotions acceptance and gratitude the

GodsPlananswerdoesnotengenderfurtherthoughtorunderstanding. Itstheendoftheroad.

Ontheotherhand,DeMeRaprovokessomePostPaternalthinkingand,inmyview,increasesthedepth

oftheexperience.

HereswhatImean:

Albertssittingathislocker,thehubbubofthepressreceded,thestickychampagnedryingonhisface.

Herelivesthemomentthepitchersface,thebackgroundroarof50,000hopefulfans,theseamson

theball

as

it

leaves

the

pitchers

hand,

the

perfect

meeting

of

ball

and

bat..

And

he

is

happy,

satisfied,

andgratefultotheFatherhe imaginescaused italltohappen. Beautiful,butchildlike. Therehe is,a

grownman,thankinghisdaddyforthebestbirthdaypresentever.

IfAlbertwasPostPaternal,hedbesittingatthesamelocker,withthesamestickychampagnefacere

livingthemoment. ButratherthanappreciatingFathersgift,hedbethinkingabouttheDeMeRathat

createdthissplendidexperience.

Hed be thinking about the decisions he made to practice hitting instead of going to the beach, the

decisionshisparentsmadetobuyhimagloveinsteadoftakingthefamilyouttodinnerforamonth,the

decisions his uncle made to hit him fly balls in the summer evenings instead of drinking beer and

watchingTV.

Hed

be

thinking

about

his

decision

to

read

the

book

on

this

pitcher

one

more

time

before

hewenttobedlastnight.

Hedthinkabouttheamazingmechanicsofhandeyecoordinationandthewaymusclesbecomestrong

and quick with effort and repetition, about how his mothers eyesight and fathers height were

combinedinhisgeneticcode. Hedbethinkingaboutthe1/8inchdifferenceinwheretheballhitsthe


26/34


batandhowthat isthedifferencebetweenapopupandaball intheseats,abouthowthepitchers

missinghisintendedspotbyaninchputtheballwherethewoodwasthickestonthebat.

And then the randomnessof it all how the scout fromhis team foundhim thedayafter the scout

missedhisflightandwasdelayedaday,howthebatterbeforehimwasaguywhowasntsupposedto

beplaying

but

was

in

there

because

the

starter

twisted

his

ankle

in

the

third

inning.

Theres

no

way

the

starter(ifuninjuredandbatting)wouldhavehadthepatiencetodrawthatwalk. Heeventhinksabout

therandomnessofgrowingup inawarmclimatewherehecouldplayballyearroundinsteadofbeing

borninIceland.

NowIaskyou:whileitmaynotbethegoldenemotionofbaskinginaFatherslove,butitsprettygood

right? AndAlbertwouldbeactingasaselfsufficientadult rather thanashisFatherschild (andyou

knowbynowhowIfeelaboutthat).

That,ofcourse,wasaboutunderstandingwhysomethinggoodhappened. TheFatherInstinctcausesus

toexpectasourcetowhichwecandirectourgratitude,religiongivesustheFather.

Theotherreasonweaskasimilarwhyiswhensomethingbadhappens. Whydidithappen,whydidit

happentome? ThisundoubtedlyiswhatthereliefpitcherwhothrewthehangingslidertoAlbertmust

havebeenasking.

ButletsmoveawayfrombaseballandanswerMarysquestion. Imagoodperson,Isavedmoneyfor

yearstocomeupwithadownpayment,myfamilyandIlivedinalousyapartmenttosaveonrentand

now,afterall thesacrifice, Ihave losteverything. Twentyhouseson theblock,minewasoneof the

threethatwasdestroyed. Why? Whyme?

ItmustbeGodsplan. Hemusthavehadagoodreasonforsendingthehurricaneanddenyingmethe

fruitsof

my

labor

and

while

I,amere

mortal,

cannot

hope

to

understand

why,

Ican

at

least

come

to

acceptmyfate. IfIbelieveHelovesme,Hemusthavehadareason. IwillseekHisguidanceandmove

on.

Or.

Imadesomegooddecisionsandsomebadones. ItwasagreatideatosaveupsothatIcouldownmy

ownhouse. Itmakessensefinanciallyandwouldgivemykidsamuchbetterfoundationforagoodlife.

AndIwouldfeelreally,reallyproudofmyselfifIdidit.

Ontheotherhand,Ididmakethedecisionnottobuyhurricaneinsurance. Ithoughtaboutit,butinthe

end,Ifigured

it

would

delay

things

another

year

and

Id

miss

out

on

buying

the

lot

that

Ifound.

Bad

decision,butitwasntcasuallymadeandImightmakeitagainunderthesamecircumstances.

ThebuilderdecidedtousealessexpensiveconstructionmethodandIapproveditwithoutdoingalotof

investigation. Again,itwasthatorstayinthatawfulapartmentforthreemoreyears.


27/34


Im not a meteorologist, but I understand that mechanically, hurricanes develop because of certain

weatherpatterns incertain locations. Iknowthatwhere I live issuchanarea. Ialsounderstandthe

mechanicalrealitythathurricaneforcewindscandestroybuildings.

Finally, Idontwhythehurricanehitmyhousebutnottheonenextdoor. Maybethescientistscould

tellme,

or

maybe

its

just

random.

But

it

wasnt

anything

Idid,

thats

for

sure.

Endpointisthesame:acceptance. ButIthinktheresaworthydifferencebetweentheDeMeRaandthe

GodsPlanideas. IfIshrugandsayGodsPlan,Imaygainacceptance,butIlearnnothing. Butby

going through the DeMeRa analysis, I might actually gain something that could be useful later on.

Maybe I learned somethingabout sacrifice and risk taking, maybe I learned about the importance of

weighingmydecisionsmorecarefully. MaybeIlearned(again)thatyoucantputthetoothpastebackin

thetube.

Inanycase,DeMeRamademeexaminemydecisions,acceptthatfactthatImadethem(andthatthey

cantbechangedat thispoint)and recognize themechanical realities involvedand theunpredictable

natureof

randomness.

With

this

process,

Ican

learn

to

get

past

this

loss,

move

on;

maybe

Ill

do

better

nexttime,maybeIlearnedsomething.

GodsPlanorDecisions,Mechanics,andRandomness? WhateverDeMeRalacksinemotionalrichness,

for me, it compensates with believability. Nazis, childhood cancer, pandemic famine, and sadistic

murderersareallpartofGodsPlanreally? Iknowtheologianswouldhaveplentyofelegantwaysto

explain why a loving God would create these things, but for me, DeMeRa seems to be a pretty

straightforwardanswertowhythingsareandwhytheyhappen.

IV. TheInfiniteZoomOne of the most mindchanging artistic experiences for me was the ending of Oliver Stones movie

Platoon. Abrilliantmovieforsure,mostofitshotatcloserangeinthesuffocatingphysicalclosenessof

theSouthAsianjungle. Allthedrama,alltheanxiety,shotas ifwewereoneofthesweatingsoldiers

watchingandfeelingthesehorrifyingandfutileeventsunfoldfirsthand.

Butthemosttranscendentparttomeiswhen,attheend,thecamerapullsbackasthehelicopterlifts

off,zoomingoutuntilwerea fewthousandfeetabovethejungle. Afterthehoursofgutwrenching,

closeupsweating intensity,nowallweseearethesilenttreetopsandthedensevegetation. It looks

completelypeacefulwithnoindicationoftheterrifyingturmoilandmortaldangersbelow.

Ive

never

forgotten

the

visceral

impact

that

transition

had

on

me

a

most

powerful

sense

of

perspective. The images put the concept of perspective in a most powerful way no matter how

complex and frightening things may be close up, at some point in the zoom outward, they fade to

nothingness.


28/34


IoftenusethisZoomingThoughtStructurewhenIseekGracewithoutGod. Forexample,Iuseitto

get comfortable with what might be the fundamental paradox of human consciousness: the

insignificanceofexistenceandtheimmensityofbeing.

Mostpeoplewhohavemovedpastseeing the flatearthas thecenterof theuniversewouldhave to

acknowledgethat,

from

an

objective

physical

point

of

view,

each

of

us

is

factually

amomentary

assemblage of matter and energy, entirely undetectable by any meaningful measure of the physical

universe. Yet, it is equally and simultaneously true that we each live inner lives of immense depth,

intensity,complexity,variety,andduration. Arewesignificantorinsignificant?

IwouldimaginethatthosewhohavefaithinFatherwouldanswerthisquestionwithsignificant. God

madetheuniverse,weareHischildren,wewilllivewithHiminHeavenforeternitywhenourtemporary

residencyonearthisover. Noproblem.

Thenihilisticatheistmightanswerinsignificant. Wearemeaninglesstemporaryblips,nothingtoget

excited

about

in

the

long

run.

Get

what

you

can

from

life,

but

it

is

short,

pointless,

and

often

brutal

for

mostpeople. Ibelievethisviewwasmosteloquentlyexpressedafewdecadesagowithlifesucks,then

youdie.

Youve probably already guessed that I answer both. Itjust all depends on the Zoom setting with

which Iview things. In thejungle, tocontinue thePlatoonmetaphor, it is important. Thepassions,

hopes, joys, tragedies, victories, and disappointments nothing can be more real, nothing more

profound.

ButZoomoutenough,getto the tree topsandkeepgoingand itallgetsquietand indistinguishable.

Even inthebackward lookingreveriesofmiddleage, itsimpossibletorememberwhysomeparticular

teenagetriumph

or

defeat

seemed

so

important

even

though

you

know

it

did.

But

keep

zooming,

ten

years,fiftyyears,athousandyears,amillionyearsitslessthannothing.

ThekeyformeistousetheZoominaproductive,Graceinducingway.

LetssayImatthebeachandwatchingaglorioussunset. CourtesyoftheFatherInstinct,Iinstinctually

wanttothankGodforthegiftandthepleasureIamfeeling. IfeelHispresenceinthegranddisplay

andIamgratefultoHim. ItisalmostexactlyhowIwouldhavefeltwhendaddybroughthomethenew

baseballgloveIdbeenwanting. Ivegottenagift,Ithankthegiver,hisgreatnessandhisloveforme. I

amgrateful.

Instead, I Zoom out, visualizing myself in the physical context of the earth, clouds, and sun the

distancesbetweenthem,therotationsandorbitsandIactivelyexperiencemyselfasasmallcreature

onabeautifulplanetspinningeternallythroughinfinitespace. ThenIZoomwayinandthinkaboutthe

richnessofvisualexperience,theastonishingmechanicsofhowthelateafternoonlightentersmybrain

through the lenses of my eyes to be a stained glass window of incomparable beauty of my Hearing

Mind. Iamgrateful.


29/34


(Imguessingyoumayfindthistobeabitsilly,buttome,notassillyasthinkingFatherissayingHey,I

betSidandtheotherfolksatthebeachwouldreallyenjoysomeorangecloudsrightaboutnowwhich

iswhatmethankingHimimplies.)

Ofcourse,allImreallysayinghereishaveperspective. Buttome,callingittheInfiniteZoomismuch

morefun.

V. TheFlameGoesOut(LettingGo)Imnotafraidofdying,

Ijustdontwanttobetherewhenithappens.

WoodyAllen,inthemovieLoveandDeath

ImprettysurethatthelittleinsectIsawinmyshowerthismorningdoesntspendalotoftimeworrying

aboutthe

time

and

nature

of

his

inevitable

demise,

but

he

sure

seemed

intensely

determined

to

avoid

beingkilledasItriedtogetridofhim. Scurryinghere,dashingthereyoucouldalmosthearhislittle

braingoingShit! Thegiantmonsteristryingtokillme! Imtooyoungtodie! No,gooverthere! Ohhh

whatwillHeatherdowithoutme?!!

But, of course, unless our ideas about bug intelligence are way off base, he was just driven by

evolutionarily implanteddirectivestoavoidextinguishment. Imguessingthatmostofhisslowerand

lessalertpredecessorswerecrushedearlyintheirbuglives,wellbeforetheycouldproducebabybugs.

MaybetwentyfirstcenturyFullertonbugswholiketogointoshowerswillsimilarlybeleftbehindbythe

simpledictatesofevolutionaryfate.

I speculate that my bugs frantic attempts at avoiding me were entirely mechanically driven visual

stimuli,somesortofmetabolic increases,and inherentantipredatormovements. Somewhereupthe

evolutionarychain,thesesortsofresponsesbegantofeellikesomething:fear. Althoughitscartoon

sillytopretendthatthedeer intheforest isBambi, Idothink itstoohumancentrictoassumethata

deerfeelsnothingwhenthreatened.

Idoknow,however,thatwehumansspendalotoftimeworryingaboutandtryingtoavoiddeath. Its

forthesamebasicreasonasmybugvictim(survivalofthespecies),but, inourHearingMinds,itfeels

like a whole heck of lot more. We know its out there, we see it coming, and we are genetically

programmedtobescaredoutofourminds.

I thinkthatswhy the idea thata lovingFatherwillwelcomeyou intohisHomeand reuniteyouwith

yourlongpassedlovedonesisamongthemostrichlyappealingarticlesofFatherbasedFaith. Sure,the

passagecouldberough,butthedestination? Wellworththetrip.


30/34


Sowithout thatconstructtosoothemy fearsofdyinganddeath, Iusethe ideaoftheFlameand the

techniqueoftheInfiniteZoom.

WhentheFlame isout, itsout. Intheabsolutequietofnonexistencethere isnofurthersufferingor

worry,thereisnoreward.Foratime,ImayberememberedandlongedforbythosewhomIaffected,

butall

those

people

will,

in

just

few

more

cosmic

blinks,

be

gone

as

well.

IZoomout. I imagineseeing the timelessgalaxiesspinning,silent through theeternalvoidofempty

spaceandIseetheforevernessoftimeagainstwhichmyfleetingearthlyexistenceistrulymeasured.

Ifeelawaveofcalmas I letgoofmysorrows,frustrations,andanxieties,knowinghow littleanyof it

couldpossiblymatterfromthisvantagepoint.

IfeelbetterasIimaginemyselfmovingawayfromitallinsomecosmictransport,lookingbackatthese

daysanddecadesas iftheywereonlydistantdreamsthatendedeonsago,alltheircolors,vibrations,

andmovements longsincesilenced. Itmattereda lotthen,andwhile Ifeela faintnostalgia, itsurely

doesntmatternow.

Then IZoomback in. Refreshed frommy imaginarydeparture, Ireturneagertoembracemy life,to

accepttheGiftagainandenergeticallyfulfillit. Yes,theFlamewillgooutformeandeveryoneIveever

knownbuttodayitburns. ThemomentofLettingGoletsmeseetheFlameanew,initsbrightand

livinggloryandIaspireagaintomakethemostofitsmagicalillumination.

NoFathertoreceiveme,noeternallife. Asthemostovertlyatheisticsongevertomakethetopfortyso

poignantlysuggested:Imagineallthepeople,livingfortoday.

VI. ItisWorthItBecause Isayso. Howmanyexasperatedkidshavebridledatthis frustratingexerciseofdictatorial

authority? Absolutepowerwieldedoverapowerlesssubject.

BecauseHeSaidSo. Howmanypeople takecomfortand refuge in thecertaintyofFathersword?

Absolutecertaintytosootheanuncertainexistence.

InmyquesttoachieveGracewithoutGod,Ihavechosetoaffirmativelybelievethatlifeisworthliving

andworthlivingwell,withjoy,creativity,aspiration,andgrowth. IknowthisisasfartotheDesireside

oftheBeliefContinuumasanyreligiousbelief.

But,unlike

material

matters,

here,

the

belief

can

create

the

reality.

Its

aself

fulfilling

concept:

if

I

believeitsworthitandIlivelikeitsworthittome,itbecomesworthit. IfIdontbelieveitsworthit

andIlivelikeitsnotworthitwell,yougetthepicture.

Nomatterhowhard Ibelieve Ican flapmyarmsand fly, Iwillnever leave thegroundonarmpower

alone. Gravity is stubborn that way. Whether I believe inan afterlifeornot, there is either a spirit


31/34


beyondthebodyorthere isntbeliefalonecannotcreatesomethingphysicalthatdoesntexist. But

thequestionis lifeworth it?onlyexistsandonlymatters in myHearingMind itsnotaquestion

answerablebytheweighingoffacts. SoifIbelievethatlifeisworthit,thenmybeliefreallycanmakeit

trueforme.

Itsthe

fundamental

existential

choice

and

Ihave

made

it.

Ibelieve

that

life

is

worth

it

because

Iwant

tobelieve it and I want to believe itbecause itbrings me Grace Without Godandbecause its the

clearlypreferablechoicebetweenthetwoalternatives.

LifeisworthitbecauseIsaidso.

VII. ItsAllUptoMe[Tobe sung in the styleofanineteenthand twentiethcenturyAfricanAmerican church songjoyful

handclapsontheupbeats,bluesinflectionsthroughout]

Aintnobodyupthere

Nothintheretosee

Aintnobodyupthere

Soitsalluptome.

***

Itsalluptome,now

TheGiftisinmyhands

Itsalluptome

toFulfilltheGiftsdemands

***

FulfilltheGiftsdemands

AsfarasIcansee

toFulfilltheGiftsdemands

Itsalluptome

OneofthemostbeguilingreligionbasedbumperstickersIveeverseensaidLetGo,LetGod. Whata

conceptjusttakeyourhandsoffthewheel,sitbackandenjoytherideGodisdriving.


32/34


Icantthinkofalifeapproachmoreoppositethanmine. InmyPostPaternalFaith(justlikeinmyworld

view), Igladly,enthusiastically,andvoluntarilyassumecomplete responsibility formeandwhat Ido.

AndImquiteproudofit.

Noonecouldseriouslydisputethevalueofadultresponsibilityinthematerialworld. Inalltheyearsof

thinking

about

it,

I

have

yet

to

find

a

reason

for

not

taking

that

same

responsibility

for

things

metaphysical.

IwasbornwiththedriveforKnowledgeandConnection,IwasimprintedwiththeFatherInstinct. Itis

onlynaturaltobedrawntotheextendedchildstatethatisFatherbasedreligion. Inmyview,itisalso

naturaltowanttogrowbeyondtheseFatherdependentpatternsofchildhood.

Solikeeveryexistentialistbeforeme,Iveconcludedthatitsuptome. Moralorimmoral,productiveor

lazy, independentordependent,happyorsad,peacefuloranxious,gratefulorresentful,disciplinedor

slothful.

Butthe

difference

between

my

thinking

and

the

more

nihilistic

of

my

philosophical

brethren

is

my

Faith.

Itsanaffirmative, formalized desirebased foundationofbeliefuponwhich Icanbuild thatmorality,

productivity,independence,happiness,peacefulness,gratitude,anddiscipline.

Simplysummarized, IhaveadeepandabidingFaiththat theHearingMind isarareandamazingGift

andthatIandtheworldwilleachbeabetterplacetobeifIfullyaccept,honor,andutilizethisGiftina

PostPaternalmanner.

***

Developing(andredevelopingandredeveloping)theideasIveattemptedtopresentinFaithWithout

Fatherwas

the

most

mesmerizing

inner

journey

Ive

ever

taken.

Ireally

do

hope

you

enjoyed

it.


33/34


APPENDIX:

THEYEARNINGSMATRIX

Throughout this treatise, I have referred to yearning when talking about the various metaphysical

needsordesires. Toprovideahandy,dandyreferenceguide(becauseIknowthereisagreatdemand

forit),inthistable,IlljustusethewordYearningtorepresentthemetaphysicalneeds.

SoooowhenIfindmyselfYearningforFather,IcanconsultthisYearningsMatrix:

TheYearningForKNOWLEDGE,IWantToKnow MyPostPaternalAnswer

WhatamI? Themostadvancedexpressionoftheprocessoflifeonearth

WheredidIcomefrom? Theprocessoflifeonearthwhichfounditsexpressioninmyparents

procreationalactivities

WhyamIhere? Sameasabove

Whydothingshappen? BecauseofdecisionsIandothersmake,themechanicsofbiological

andphysicalactivity,andtherandomnessofevents(DeMeRa)

WhatshouldIdo? Accept,honor,andfulfilltheGiftoftheHearingMindinaPost

Paternalmanner

WhathappenswhenIdie? Theflamegoesout

TheYearningforCONNECTION,IWant MyPostPaternalAlternative

FathersLove Fathersabsenceisreplacedandcompensatedforwithfeelingsof

pridewhichresultfromsummoningthecourageandstrengthto

facetheworldinaPostPaternalmanner.

ToloveFather IacceptandhonortheGiftoftheHearingMind. Ifeelprofound

reverencewhen

Icontemplate

its

nature,

rarity,

and

potential.

TothankFather WhenIfeelgratitudeonagrandscale(ThankGod!),Itakethe

timetousetheDeMeRaanalysistofullyunderstandandappreciate

thatforwhichIamthankful.

TobeamongthosethatloveFather IlookforandnurturerelationshipswithpeopleintheCommon


34/34

Core.

Fathersprotection&intervention Sincethereaintnobodyupthere,whenIinstinctuallywanttoask

forFathershelp,IusetheDeMeRaanalysis. Iaskmyselfwhatelse

canIorshouldIdo? DoIunderstandthemechanicsofthe

situation?

Can

I

affect

the

randomness?

Fathersapproval IcanglowinmyownapprovalwhenIactinwayswhichfulfillthe

GiftinaPostPaternalmanner.

Fathersforgiveness Fromthewisdomconveyedbyacollegecommencementspeaker:If

you have aproblem, face it and fix it. Iadded and file it, then

forgetaboutit.

Faceit,Fixit,Fileit,Forgetit. IfIhavefacedtheproblemhonestly,

virtuously,andpromptly;ifIhavedoneeverythingIcouldtofixit,ifI

have learned from it what I could (filed it), then I can move on

(forgetabout

it)

and

Ican

feel

forgiven.

Fatherssoothing WhenIwantFatherscomfort(Dontworry,dontbeafraid

everythingsgoingtobeOK),IuseDeMeRa. Whetherthingsactually

willbeOKornot,afterathoroughDeMeRaexercise,Ihavesoothed

myself.

faith without father - 1.0

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