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Creating Partnerships and Sharing Assessment Information with Families

Margo Dichtelmiller June, 2013

Plan for this Session

Knowledge  about  families  

Culture  

Communica5on  

Crea5ng  Partnerships   Scheduling  

Crea5ng  a  welcoming  environment  

Deciding  what  to  share  

Outline  for  a  conference  

Handling  challenging  situa5ons  

Sharing  Assessment  Informa5on  

Warm Up Activity: Defining Family

1.  Introductions at tables: First names and what you do

2.  Take a piece of scrap paper and list the members of your family. 3.  How many members does your family have?

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Families

What Is a Family?

A family is created when two or more people construct an intimate environment that they define as a family, an environment in which they generally share a living space, commitment and a variety of the roles and functions usually considered part of family life.

American Families Today

•  Families are smaller •  Couples marry later

•  More dual career families, only 25% breadwinner/homemaker families •  More multiracial and biracial families •  68% of children live in 2-parent families (includes blended and 6% with grandparents

•  23% mother child families •  5% father-child families •  4% neither parent present (foster families)

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American Families Today (2)

•  41% of recent marriages will end in divorce •  Half of eligible women receive child support •  More role sharing; fathers’ roles changing •  Longer life span means caring for elderly parents •  Economy means some children stay with parents for a longer time

Impact of Technology

•  Adult family members can work at home

•  Work can take up more of parents’

time

•  Children spend more time using technology

•  Stress due to Internet predators,

cyber bullying

Culture

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Culture as “Groupness”

Culture enables us to identify those like us Culture enables us to distinguish ourselves from different groups Diversity = Difference

Activity 1

In pairs, discuss one of the earliest memories you have of noticing someone different than yourself.

1. Describe what you remember about noticing this difference. 2. What assumption(s), if any, did you make about this person?

3. Did this cause you to have new thoughts about yourself?

4. Did you get any messages from your family about this incident or other general messages regarding people different from your family’s group identity?

5. Be prepared to talk about your conversations with the larger group.

Two Definitions of Culture

Everything a people believe and do that identifies them as members of a group and distinguishes that group from other groups (Lindsey, Robins, & Terrel, 1999). A set of standards or rules for perceiving, believing, acting and evaluating others shared by a group of people (Goodenough, 1981).

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Culture Encompasses:

•  Language  •  Values  •  Religion  •  Learning  styles  •  Rules  •  PaDerns  of  social  

rela5onships  •  Beliefs  about  health  

care,  educa5on  

•  Ar5s5c  expressions  (music,  art,  dance,  etc.)  

•  Food  •  Holidays  •  Communica5on  styles  •  Dress  

Types of Cultures

•  Racial and ethnic •  Gender •  Sexual orientation and expression •  Social •  Occupational •  Organizational/institutional

Activity 2

1. Make a list of all your cultural groups

2. Think of a family with whom you communicate well and have a strong partnership. List their cultural groups (as well as you can).

3.  Think of a family with whom you struggle to form a relationship. List their cultural groups.

4.  Is there any relationship between how similar you are to a family and the ease of establishing a positive relationship?

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All Members of a Cultural Group are not Alike!

Communication

What Communicates?

•  Words, body language, tone of voice •  Importance of congruence

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Family Roadblocks to Communication

•  Family overprotection

•  Parental inadequacy

•  Avoidance

•  Indifference

•  Confrontational family members

Teacher Roadblocks to Communication

•  Teacher as authority

•  “Us against them” mentality

•  “Pass the buck”

•  Lack of time and timing

•  Lack of confidence

Effective Listening Skills

•  Give them your undivided attention

•  Make eye contact, if culturally appropriate

•  Encourage with body language and words

•  Reframe or rephrase the message to be sure you understand

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 Communication Techniques

Rephrasing  

•  Goal:  Determine  message  and  intent  

•  Restate  the  intent  •  Check  on  the  accuracy  of  

the  rephrasing,  “It  sounds  as  if  you  feel  .  .  .  “  

Reframing  

•  State  things  as  posi5vely  as  possible  

•  “Talks  too  much”  vs  “likes  to  share  with  others”  

•  But,  some5mes  being  direct  is  the  way  to  go  

Activity 3

What  happened?   Harsh/Provoca8ve   Posi8ve  Response  

Jake  took  toys  from  school  home.  

Jake  stole  school  property    

A  group  of  girls,  led  by  BriDany,  are  purposely  excluding  Elena  from  their  ac5vi5es.  

No  one  likes  Elena.    BriDany  is  not  nice  to  some  people  in  the  class.    

Marc  and  DaShawn  got  in  a  fight  on  the  playground.  

Marc  is  aggressive  and  violent.  

Conducting Conferences: Logistics

•  Scheduling issues

•  Creating a welcoming environment

•  With or without children?

•  Family preparation

•  Have things for waiting families to do

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Conducting Conferences: Preparation

•  Finish assessment and write report

•  Decide what 2-3 points to make

•  Select work, observation notes, photos to share

Conducting Conferences: Agenda

1.  Opening and welcome

2.  Key points (strengths, concerns, goals)

3.  Invite input from family member(s) 4.  Suggestions for the family

5.  Summing up and ending the conference

Conducting Conferences: Agenda (con’t.)

1.  Opening and welcome

2.  Key points (strengths, concerns, goals)

3.  Invite input from family member(s) •  Share an observation – does he do that at home? •  Ask what child likes to do, who she plays with, whether or not he is willing to •  do homework. •  Set goals: realize family may not know how to do this •  Set goals: in strong and weak areas

4.  Suggestions for the family

5.  Summing up and ending the conference

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Children and Families with Special Needs

•  Initial diagnosis

•  ELL

•  Divorced families

•  Lesbian and gay families

Conducting Conferences: Endings

•  Summing up and next steps

•  With long-winded parents, have a strategy in place

•  Have family members knock when they arrive

•  Schedule another conference if needed

A Role Play

Teachers:

1.  Read Kenny’s Summary Report 2.  Decide on 2-3 important pieces of information to share 3.  Follow the steps for a conference and share information with Kenny’s family member(s).

Family member(s) 1.  Read the Personal and Social Domain of Kenny’s Summary Report 2.  Decide what type of parent/guardian/family member you will be. 3.  Participate in the conference from the perspective of a family member.

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Angry Parents and Other Challenges

What challenges do you face with family members?

Q & A

 

F rom: Exchange Every Day 

The Angry Parent May 30, 2013 He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.-Albert Einstein

In Practical Solutions to Practically Every Problem, Steffen Saifer provides this advice on how to deal with an angry parent: • When confronted with an irate parent, regardless of the cause, just

listen at first. Don't defend yourself, even if the parent is clearly misguided or misinformed. Remember that challenging the person only fuels the fire of anger. Listen intently and sympathetically.

• Apologize. Even if the problem was not your fault, you can apologize for the anguish that the misunderstanding caused.... In many cases this is all the parent is looking for.

• Tell the parent that you will do what you can to ease her concern. If you need more information or advice about the problem, tell her what you will do and when you will get back to her.

• When the immediate anger has cooled, you may be able to offer an explanation or rationale — your side of the story. Be aware, however, that some people are not interested in reason. If this is the case, empathize with their concern and say what you have done to make sure this problem will not happen again.

 

Kenny Hampton Preschool 4  Personal and Social Development 

Kenny shows his excitement about classroom learning activities by smiling and actively participating. At times, he interacts well with adults and other children. He continues to need teacher support to identify and control feelings of anger, and to demonstrate self control by following directions. He is beginning to learn some ways to solve conflicts. In small group activities, we are focusing on helping Kenny learn about feelings. 

    

ton  enny HampK

Preschool 4  Personal and Social Development 

Kenny shows his excitement about classroom learning activities by smiling and actively participating. At times, he interacts well with adults and other children. He continues to need teacher support to identify and control feelings of anger, and to demonstrate self control by following directions. He is beginning to learn some ways to solve conflicts. In small group activities, we are focusing on helping Kenny learn about feelings. 

    

ton  enny HampK

Preschool 4  Personal and Social Development 

Kenny shows his excitement about classroom learning activities by smiling and actively participating. At times, he interacts well with adults and other children. He continues to need teacher support to identify and control feelings of anger, and to demonstrate self control by following directions. He is beginning to learn some ways to solve conflicts. In small group activities, we are focusing on helping Kenny learn about feelings.