Family Life Ministry Q1 Focus: Effective Parenting

January - Parental Role ModelingFebruary - Confident Parenting (Seminar)

March - PYF (Video - Common Parenting Mistakes)

Q1 Prayer Scripture: Isaiah 54:1313 And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy

children.

Q2 Focus: Principles of Family Leadership

Parental Role Modeling

• Text - Genesis 18:19(KJV)• 19 For I know him, that he will command

his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Parental Role Modeling• The Message Bible:– Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train

his children and future family to observe GOD’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that GOD can complete in Abraham what he promised him.”

• Command = Training (not dictatorship!)

• There are many promises that God has in His word for us (or that He has spoken to us about individually) that may not come to pass, if we fail in our responsibilities as parents!

• Fulfillment of God’s promises are contingent or dependent on our effectiveness as a parent!

• Parenting is therefore one of the most important responsibility you will take on as an adult, the impact of which will affect multiple generations after you!

Parental Role Modeling

Bill Maier - Confident Parenting Seminar

• Provide your children with love, limits and your time

• Parents are using media as a “baby-sitter”– Family members spend on average 49 hours

a week on media (TV, radio, music, magazines, computers, internet and video games) while only 39 minutes a week on meaningful conversation!

Bill Maier - Confident Parenting Seminar

• Have family meals (dinner) at least 5 times a week

• Don’t be over committed to the point that you are not able to spend quality & quantity time with your children–Give your children a break!

Bill Maier - Confident Parenting Seminar

• Only 25% of children live with parents who set/enforce rules– Clearly state your expectations– Rules without relationship leads to rebellion

• Educate yourself about risks associated with youth culture – pluggedin.com (

http://www.pluggedin.com/cultureclips/2013/2013-02-11.aspx)

Bill Maier - Confident Parenting Seminar

• Keep the line of communication open!– Your children need to know that they can talk

with you without being judged– Its God’s kindness that leads us to repentance– Is your relationship guided by the fruit of The Holy

Spirit?• Encourage your children to get involved in

bible study groups (especially when they leave for college)

Bill Maier - Confident Parenting Seminar

• Do your children know your expectations?–Do you live by example?–Do your words match your walk?

• Make faith relevant at home• Pray, pray, pray!• Cast a positive, Christ centered vision for

your child’s life

Common Parenting Mistakes

Sub-Optimal Parenting Styles

School Dropout Rate

More Statistics…

• Over 200,000 kids are prosecuted as adults each year• During the next 12 months (based on National

Averages): 1,221,839 Teens will Drop out or quit school (In some states, up to 75 % of all inmates in the prison system are high school drop outs)

1,682,867 Teens will Runaway or leave home without permission for at least overnight or longer. (71% of runaway or “awol” teens encounter highly dangerous situations or circumstances during the runaway period)

More Statistics…

• 874,819 Teenage girls will become pregnant (30% will undergo an abortion many without the parent’s knowledge or consent. For those teenage mothers that carry the baby full term, 90% of the fathers abandon the mother and child)

• 70% of all teenage marriages fail (Children born to Teenage Mothers are much more likely to fail at school, drop out, or end up in prison.)

More Statistics…

• One third of all Teens will use alcohol during the next year. Research shows Alcohol Use significantly increases a Teens chances of being involved in violence, stealing, and truancy.

5,429,600 Teens will use Drugs (The average age of first marijuana use is 14. Drug use is associated with home conflicts, school failures, serious accidents, crimes, violence, unsafe sex, and suicide.)

More Statistics…

• 2,758,643 Teens will be arrested for a crime (This statistic is showing just the number of Teen arrests. While there is no verifiable statistics, it is thought that the number of Teens involved in crimes is several times the number arrested, perhaps as high as 7 or 8 million teens.)

Movie – 40.5 Minutes

• Scene #1 (27.5minutes)– Start @1:30– End @ 29:00

• Scene #2 (13 minutes)– Start @ 31:00– End @ 44:00

Movie Review

• NB: Looking at the movie from the parent’s perspective (I know there is the children’s/teen’s perspective, e.g. choices & consequences, but that is not the focus for tonight)– What styles of parenting did you notice?– Mistakes noticed in the parenting styles?– What did the parents do that contributed, even if in part to the

children’s outcomes?– What could the parents have done differently that would have

produced better outcomes for the children? • Is the rod always a good choice for correction?• Can you achieve same or better results in training & correcting without

the rod?

Observations

• Start age ~ 14yrs (if convicted will spend most of their life in prison)

• No sympathy by the legal system• Talented kids (technical skills displayed in the film

making process)• Becoming despondent (lots of tears, down-casted,

nervous breakdown) • Highly influenced by the media• Loss of self pride• One father & son in same prison

Observations

• Society shifted from mentoring, prevention & intervention of violent youth to punishment is not for what they have done, but what they are anticipated to do in the future

• Girl influenced by senior brother…no second chance!

• Teen parents…• Runaway from home…• Drugs…

Parents Negative Impact

• Abuse (cord whip spanking, hitting, emotional)• Overly Strict (Duc’s father’s example)• Mum saw it as dad’s way of expressing his love!• “fear is calling him dad…”

• Duc’s father’s parenting style based on the way he was brought up• Wanted to raise his children the way he was raised• Did not have a lot of opportunity to talk with father growing

up• Father away in prison! (many are there physically but

subconsciously or emotionally away)

Top 5 Teenage Issues identified in Retreat

1. Lies, Deceit and Pretense – 75%2. Sexual Immoralities – 60%3. Alcohol, Weed, Drugs and the like – 25%4. Stealing, shoplifting – 10%5. Bitterness, Hatred, rebellion – 10%

Closing• Q&A?• Prayer Points:1. God grant us the wisdom to be effective in

the critically important assignment of parenting

2. Isaiah 54:13 a) All thy (my) children shall be taught of the Lordb) Great shall be the peace of thy (my) children