feelings and emotional healing
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Feelings and Emotional Healing
A short guide
by
Karen Wason
One on oneHeart to heartwww.karenwason.com
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To the Reader
This booklet has been created by Karen Wason, an Educator
Practitioner working in the Nelson region. It is a resource for
community groups, health centres and anyone interested in
emotional wellbeing. The content draws from Karens training
and life experiences and in particular the body of knowledge
that comes with Pascha Therapy. For more information about
Karen, her Practice, Pascha Therapy and to order copies of the
booklet, see her website www.karenwason.com.
Copyright Karen Wason 2012
All Rights Reserved
Permission is given to share these messages for non commercial use as long
as each chapter is shared in its entirety with nothing changed and reference
includes the name Karen Wason and the website www.karenwason.com.
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Table of Contents
Introduction 4
What are feelings? ...5
Listening to our feelings ..8
Processing old emotions ...10
Knowing what we need ..12
Facing our Resistance ...14
Taking action 16
About Karen Wason 18
Journal pages ..19
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Introduction
In early 2012 I started writing about feelings and emotional healing in
my weekly blog. The response I received indicated that the
information was insightful and helpful and that there was likely a
larger audience for whom the information would be of interest. This
gave rise to the idea of this booklet.
My training in Pascha Therapy (also known as Intuitive Therapy) and
my own experiences have allowed me to develop a deep
understanding of how our feelings guide us in life and the role they
play in emotional healing. Pascha Therapy also shows us how to
connect with our needs and we learn the importance of attending to
these so as to maintain a high level of emotional wellbeing. A
balanced emotional life has a positive impact on our physical, mental
and spiritual selves too.
Our feelings are also one way we connect with our intuition. This is
called clairsentience. Learning to listen to ourself provides guidance
to what is right for us. It helps us to make life choices that support us.
This Guide is a short introduction to these aspects of our emotional
life. I hope you find it both interesting and beneficial.
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What are feelings?
Our feelings are an aspect of our emotional body, one of our four
bodies (physical, mind, emotion and soul). Feelings are energy
containing information that is relevant to an experience we are
having or have had. They are the language of the soul and if we
listen to our feelings we connect with that part of ourself that knows
what is right for us. They are our guide to a life that is balanced and
a pathway to joy.
When we are having an experience that feels delightful or ecstatic,
the information we receive is an indicator that the experience is
something that is in alignment with our soul and we might like to
have this experience again. When we are having an experience that
feels painful, uncomfortable or dull, the information we receive is that
we are having an experience that is not in alignment with our soul.
We might not pursue any more of these experiences.
Of course life is rarely that simple. We may be doing things we dont
like but we are doing them with some people we like and some
people we have little in common with. And so we receive mixed
messages. However it takes only a little practice of listening to our
feelings to become aware of that which is right for us and that which
isnt. When we have experiences and interactions with people that
are not in alignment with what is right for us, we can more easily
accept them for what they are and let them go from our
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consciousness. We want to live our lives in a way that is right for us
and so we need to let others lead their own lives too. There is room
for everyones experience of life. Awareness is the beginning of the
end of judgment.
When we have experiences that hurt, we often push them away
because we dont know how to deal with them or they are too painful.
When we do this we push the feeling down inside of us and it
becomes emotion. But emotions are still energy and they will do
whatever they can to move on. This is why old hurts come up from
time to time; they want to be released. If we keep pushing them
down we start to attract experiences of a similar nature and each one
will push the button that is that original experience. Left unattended
we can start to re-act and to take action from this unbalanced place.
We often recognize these as over-reactions or responses that are
out of perspective.
We cannot stay on top of things, rise above or get over
experiences. This is the language of the mind and serves only to
keep us full up with that which needs releasing. We need to listen to
our emotions, identify the feelings, know why they are there, and
allow them as an experience weve had. Allowing them to be gives
them permission to move on in their own time, which is different from
pushing away. When they are released they make space in our
energetic body, providing opportunity for new things to come into our
life.
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When we fail to process our feelings and emotions we keep filling up.
To keep emotions inside of us takes energy and over time we start to
feel the impact of this and our energy levels are compromised. A
lifetime of pushing away depletes energy and our vigour for life. We
may even come to feel that we have lost heart.
It is never too late in life to start to process our emotions. In fact
there are times in life when we are given little choice in the matter.
We have an experience that pushes our buttons and a whole lot of
emotional stuff comes up to greet us. We become overwhelmed with
feelings and lose balance. Such times can feel like a personal crisis.
When this occurs we are being invited to attend to the emotions
inside of us; they want healing. If we continue to ignore them, the
energy that they are can become more dense. In time this can
become dis-ease and a physical illness can emerge. This is one
aspect of the interplay between our soul, emotion and physical
bodies.
Most importantly, when we follow that which feels good, we are
following energy. We can think of this as riding a wave. In doing so,
we can manifest our plans with more ease and much more quickly
than if we have to force or push our way through into things. When
we are in the flow of life the right people and opportunities just seem
to appear in our life like miracles. Its a fabulous way to live. Enjoy.
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Listening to our feelings
If you are not in the practice of listening to your feelings heres how
you can start.
Sit quietly in a place where you wont be disturbed. Identify a place in
your body where you feel some discomfort (not discomfort related to
injuries but discomfort that feels a part of your emotional body). Take
your awareness to that place. What is the strongest feeling that
comes from the discomfort? If you feel many different feelings all at
once focus on the strongest one that is presenting in the moment.
Can you name it? Be with the feeling for a bit so you can get to know
it a little better. Breathing into it will help. This is not a thinking
exercise. Take your awareness, your perception, down into your
body. Feel the feeling and call it by its name. Feeling names include
the likes of hurt, loss, grief, anger, fear, embarrassment, anxiety.
This feeling that you connect with will likely be blocked energy, an
emotion that has been there for a while. It is now saying to you that it
wants acknowledging so it can move on. You might think of it as a
child you sent to its room after a difficult event and it is now asking to
be let out. And just like a child you will need to love it. It may feel
very tender. So tender in fact you may not want to dwell there for
long because you feel the pain of it. Thats okay because you can
visit as many times as is needed. Perhaps for today just learn how to
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be there and learn what its name is. If its name doesnt come easily,
you can ask it what its name is, and quietly wait for a response. Try
not to hurry this as it will get in the way of the process. Being quiet
with yourself in this way is an act of love.
If this is your first time with this exercise it may take some practice. If
you find your vocabulary of feeling words is limited, check out the
internet for some lists of feeling words; this will assist with your
efforts to name the feeling. If you are not used to giving yourself
quiet time then you may need to call on some discipline and
schedule in some time each day to practice. Go well.
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Processing old emotions
Being present with a feeling that has come up with a held-in emotion
is the first step of acknowledging it. Opening to the feeling and
listening to what it says is also part of this process. When you do
this with your heart the feeling will speak its name to you. Its name is
full of information and often other feelings too. If its name is grief, it
may bring associated feelings of loss and sadness. It may bring upan experience you had many years ago when you lost someone
close to you. If its name is anger, it may bring associated feelings of
unfairness and frustration and experiences of when you were treated
in ways that felt unfair to you. If its name is fear, it may bring up
associated feelings of doubt and vulnerability and experiences of
when you felt unsafe.
When we are with the now identified feeling, we can ask it directly,
by being present with it, why it is there. If it was a particularly painful
experience it may not reveal itself to you readily. You may need to
ask more questions of it. For example, you can ask how long it has
been there and let it take you back to that time in your life (this may
seem like a little movie going on inside of you). You can gently
breathe into the feeling. This is the equivalent of breathing in love
and light and this helps the experience reveal itself.
Many of our held-in feelings come from our childhood and hold a
great deal of pain. When a painful experience arises in this process
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do your best to stay with it rather than push it away again. Even if
you can stay with it for a short time is helpful. It will likely invite you
back within a few days to reveal a little more of what lies within.
Held-in feelings that start to come up into our consciousness want to
see the light of day and will keep coming until they are fully
embraced. This is the healing process.
When you open fully to the feeling you may feel overwhelmed and
break down. Know that crying is a form of release and is a good
thing. It is not an act of weakness but an act of courage. Also know
that when you are prepared to be vulnerable great shifts can take
place within and without, in ways you never imagined possible.
When you have taken yourself through such an exercise you will
likely feel a bit shaken and tired and so it is important to go easy on
yourself, have a quiet evening and treat yourself with something you
love. Breathe deeply and drink lots of water. Over the days that
follow become aware of any changes within. You may just be
surprised.
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Knowing what we need
Once we understand why an old emotion has been blocked inside of
us and we fully accept the old experience associated with it, we can
ask ourself what it is we need now that we have this new
understanding. As with other steps in the healing process this is not
a question we direct to our mind to be responded to rationally or with
logic. It is a question that we ask of ourself and then await aresponse from within. The response emerges into your awareness,
an intuition.
Our needs, in relation to the experiences we have been recalling, are
an indicator of action we can take to complete the healing process. It
may be enough to just have the new information and give ourselves
time to integrate into our whole of life experience. Sometimes we
may feel a need to talk to someone or perhaps take ourselves away
for some rest. We may need to let go of our attachment to something
or someone. While I list some common responses here I am not
suggesting that we pick from a multi-choice list. Our inner-self tells
us what it is we need to do. Furthermore, while I use the word do
here it is not always a physical action that is needed. Sometimes it is
an action related to our inner world, more about being or
connecting or perhaps a shift in thinking. We just need to be open to
what comes.
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By listening for our real needs we move away from re-actions. It is
very common for us to respond to new situations in old ways. We
may call these our way of doing things but this approach to life
keeps us trapped in the past. By listening to our needs as I describe
we have the option of acting in ways that are about the present. In
doing so, we start to break patterns of responses that may no longer
support us. This is how we start to change our life. Following through
with each action, no matter how small, we come more and more into
alignment with our soul self who knows what is right for us.
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Facing our Resistance
When we accept what it is we really need in our life, we can be
confronted with taking action that is new for us. It can feel vulnerable.
It takes courage to step into something new, the result of which is
unknown. We may decide that it is easier to keep on with things the
way they are and talk ourselves into thinking that this is okay. Only
we find that the issue that brought us to this point in the first place re-emerges and most likely more intensely. This is the way that old
emotions encourage us to address what needs to be acknowledged
and acted upon. When we ignore the issues or fail to take action the
nudging becomes louder and more persistent.
Not taking action can be more than procrastination. It may be our
resistance revealing itself. It is useful to recognize when we resist
because we can then spend some time exploring our resistance.
Why am I ignoring this? Why do I keep distracting myself by staying
busy what am I afraid of? Why do I keep putting off what I need to
do? It is a time for absolute self honesty; an act of the heart, not the
head.
Resistance is like a wall that keeps us separate from aspects of
ourself that want to see the light of day. It keeps in the old and keeps
out the new. It holds on tight to our old beliefs, out of fear of the
unknown that comes with busting through our established
boundaries. All those little voices in our head start to come through.
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We may hear things like work harder and you will eventually
succeed, or marriage is forever and you just have to put up with the
cards you are dealt, or its important to be loyal to your friends no
matter how they treat you. Or perhaps this is the way to live - thats
what I see on TV.
What are the voices in YOUR head saying to you right now? Whose
voices are they? Which voices are the loudest ones? Perhaps they
come from family members? Perhaps a teacher or minister or
someone you have respected for a long time. Are they still relevant
for you today? Do you want to continue to live your life within the
boundaries that others have established for you? As these voices
present themselves its useful to write them down and to sense how
each one feels to you. Let go of those that make you feel
uncomfortable and claim those that feel right for you. In doing this
exercise you are following your own guidance.
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Taking action
When we make a decision to take action that is fully aligned with who
we are and what we know is right for us, our energy starts to change.
Opening to ourself and acting in accordance with our own truth
brings a new harmony to our being. Yet as we take or are about to
take the steps to enact our decision we can also feel ourself wobble
and feel uncertain as we enter into the unknown.
When we take action we often start to envisage how things might
pan out for us. This is our mind trying to make known the unknown,
to control what is really outside of our grasp. Both good and bad
scenarios will most likely play out in our head. We make plans so
that we feel our life has the structure and security that we need. We
are good at it too, we are well trained.
I came across a wonderful phrase Whatever we can plan is too
small to live. It reminds me that while I do need to be very clear
about what I want to bring into my life, the next step in the process is
to let go, to surrender it to the Universe and let IT take care of
delivery. When we dont put limitations around our hopes and
dreams and remain open to all possibilities we can truly be surprised
with the outcome.
Another consequence of taking new action is parts of our old life may
start to fall away. We can be surprised when this happens because it
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wasnt part of our intention. We may grasp at the old in an attempt
to keep it in our life. Yet if it is no longer in alignment with the new
us the disharmony of energy will bring about the inevitable
separation. This can be hard when the old includes friends and
activities that have been part of our life for a long time, even though
we can eventually acknowledge the gap that had started to appear
and be felt. We feel the loss and start to grieve. We may tell
ourselves not to be so silly about grieving in such circumstances,
after-all, we chose to take the action in the first place. It is however
important to acknowledge and accept our losses as part of the
process of moving on.
When we let go of the old, an energetic space opens up, allowing
the new to come into our life. This is a cycle that can be repeated
over and over and is how we slowly and surely change our life for the
better. I will add here that from my experience the new does not
necessarily equal that which we let go of. Sometimes letting go of
what we might consider small things can bring about significant
change for the better.
As we continue to make choices in alignment with our soul self we
start to feel uplifted and life becomes an unfolding, rather than being
created out of hard work, and there is magic to be found.
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About Karen Wason
I am an educator practitioner working in the Nelson region. I provide
one on one support through Pascha Therapy, Reiki, Mentoring and
provide guidance for those on a spiritual journey and emotional
support for those recovering from surgery.
I have worn many different hats during my life including
administrator, career adviser, manager, business consultant,
researcher, writer, editor, therapist, educator and natural health
practitioner. I am also a highly experienced patient having had a
dozen surgeries in my lifetime.
I have been on my own course of learning about different levels of
consciousness for about thirty years. This has included exploring
dreams, learning transcendental meditation, learning about our
emotional and spiritual bodies, and universal energy. My one on one
support and writing are now my focus bringing grounded, practical
guidance and support for those in need.
For more information go to
www.karenwason.com
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Journal pages
Keeping a journal about our feelings and needs, our actions
and consequences, can be very revealing. They can show us
what aspects of our life are truly supporting us, what aspects
need attention and what can be gently let go of. Here are a
few pages to get you started in your writing. Go well and much
love to you.
Karen
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