I hate to argue. However back in the day I used to be the queen of arguments. Not something I’m proud of because it got UGLY. Now I don’t like doing it and I don’t like when other people do it either. But this is life and arguments do happen. An argument is nothing but bad energy being tossed between two people. Majority of the time what you argue about is stupid anyway. And I guarentee that you will not remember what you were arguing about tomorrow.

I remember one time I got into an argument over who washed the dishes last. No bueno, right? If you you can remain calm, and keep a level head during an argument then that poise, and calmness you maintain will transfer to the other person. Then that argument will slowly die out. Eventually the other person yelling will realize how crazy they look, while you are just standing there calm, cool and collective.

If you find yourself in an argument here are Five ways to defuse it.

1. Wait your turn to talk-When two people try to talk over each other what does it do? Cause each person to get a little bit louder with every word. So just wait to talk. Cutting each other off does no one any good.

2. Listen-The person you are arguing with is either upset or just trying to express themselves. Yes, yelling is the wrong way to do so, but still just listen to what they are saying. They will tell you (or I should say yell to you) why they are upset and or angry.

3. Remain Calm- If you get upset and lose your cool, the argument will escalate. As the person you are arguing with is losing their cool, simply count to 10, breath and listen.

4. Talk in a level tone of voice-When it’s your turn to say your peace don’t yell back say it in a calm tone. Or as my mom likes to say, “use your inside voices”. Articulate your words and be clear of what you are saying. When the other person begins to talk again he/she will match your tone of voice.

5. Apologize for your actions-After it’s all said and done apologize. You might not have indirectly said or did anything wrong to the person you're in an argument with, but you can’t control how other people receive information. Their feelings might have been hurt. But you will never know unless you say “sorry”.

For example you can say, “I’m sorry if I said or did anything to hurt you” And be silent. The person will receive the information the way they chose. And that is beyond your control. At least you said your piece and you are no longer arguing. Plus you look like the bigger person anyway.

If you find yourself in a little spat, try to use these tips. They do work. Oh and one more thing, Do NOT let your ego and or pride get in the way. That’s no bueno.

Now You: How do you get out of or avoid arguments?

Speak It. Live It. Love It.