fleur mcdonald - crimson dawn (extract)

8/12/2019 Fleur McDonald - Crimson Dawn (Extract)

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An outback novel

of love, betrayal

and redemption

From the bestselling author of Red Dust

Crimson Dawn

FLEURMcDONALD

FLEU

R

McDONALD

CrimsonD

awn

Since inheriting Nambina, the property thats been in her familyfor generations, Laura Murphy has worked wonders. Rather thanjust focus on farming she has set up a successful school teaching

women the basics of managing a property.

But the notoriously self-reliant Laura is lonely and still scarred by a

tragedy from her past. Shes also grappling with the hostility of herneighbour and former best friend, Meghan. The fact that Lauras

ex-boyfriend Josh is Meghans brother only makes things worse.

When a solicitor contacts Laura to say his clients may have aclaim over Nambina, her world is turned upside down,

and she has to call on all her determination to hold on to the

property. In the process she realises she must reach outto friends and loved ones or risk losing everything.

F I C T I O N

Cover design: Nada Backovic

Cover photographs: Masterfile (girl), Getty Images

(stockyards) and Fleur McDonald (dawn sky)

By the bestselling author of Red Dust, thisinspirational novel celebrates strength in the face of

adversity as well as the enriching power of love.


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First published in 2014Copyright Fleur McDonald 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted inany form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without priorpermission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968(the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whicheveris the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educationalpurposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it)has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

Arena Books, an imprint ofAllen & Unwin83 Alexander StreetCrows Nest NSW 2065

AustraliaPhone: (61 2) 8425 0100Email: [email protected]

Web: www.allenandunwin.com

Cataloguing-in-Publication details are availablefrom the National Library of Australia

www.trove.nla.gov.au

ISBN 978 1 74331 531 6

Set in 13/17.5 pt Adobe Garamond by Post Pre-press Group, AustraliaPrinted and bound in Australia by Griffin Press

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

The paper in this book is FSCcertified.

FSCpromotes environmentally responsible,

socially beneficial and economically viablemanagement of the worlds forests.C009448
mailto:[email protected]://www.allenandunwin.com/http://www.trove.nla.gov.au/http://www.trove.nla.gov.au/http://www.allenandunwin.com/mailto:[email protected]


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To the girls who are ordinary girls but,

like Laura in this book, making waves,

breaking new ground and bridging the divide

Amanda Salisbury, Gemma Lee-Steere and

Catherine Marriott, to name only a few.


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1

Chapter 1

2000

Laura stared at the thin white stick. Nothing.

Flipping the toilet seat down, she sank onto it, waiting for

the blue lines to appear. Waiting to see what her future held.Please, let there only be one,she prayed over and over.

She stared so hard her eyes began to play tricks. First

there was only one. Then, maybe, a second began to show,

but the colour didnt seem to get any stronger than a faint

now-you-see-it-now-you-dont.

Holding her breath, Laura focused carefully for another fewseconds. Then she breathed out in a whoosh. Surely that dreaded

second line would have shown up by now if it was going to? She

must have made a mistake. Perhaps she got her dates mixed up.

Whatever it was, she was thankful she wasnt pregnant. Shed

had a fright. It was a warning to be more careful.

Of course, she wanted children, but not yet. She still had

so much to do before she settled down. She had dreams. Plans.Things she wanted, no, needed, to achieve.


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Laura placed the test on the vanity and got up. She still felt

sick, but maybe the breakfast bacon had been off. Or perhaps

it was the stress of the last few days. Shearing was a demandingtime.

Pulling her long blonde hair back into a ponytail, she

noticed the telltale signs of a pimple at the corner of her mouth.

It was a bit sore. Maybe, maybeher period was on its way.

She bent down to grab the towel shed left lying on the

floor and, as she did, focused on the stick once again.

Her heart stopped.

Two blue lines.

Clear and strong against the white background.

No, the voice in her head screamed. No! It couldnt be.

There had only been one before.

Laura felt a mixture of disbelief, horror and, despite

everything, happiness. This could be life-changing.She looked away then back at the stick, hoping, by some

miracle of miracles, something was different. But it wasnt.

Her heart began to thump and she felt a sweat break out

all over her.

She was pregnant.

Outside, the wind gusted around the gum trees and rain rattled

on the roof, but the icy air couldnt penetrate the farmhouse or

dampen the spirit within. Laughter and the clinking of cutlery

rang out in the enclosed verandah where Laura and her family

were gathered. Despite the weather, the room was pleasant and

cosy, with floor-to-ceiling windows, comfy chairs around aroaring fire, and a long dining table that today was set for lunch.


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Laura loved these get-togethers, but after her recent

discovery she was finding it hard to act normally. She

wanted to shout from the top of the shearing shed that shewas having a baby, but at the same time she didnt want

anyone to know. She didnt want to be judged if she decided

she couldnt keep it.

Her half-sister Nicki walked past, holding the salt and

pepper shakers. She was singing to herself, and she flashed

Laura a grin as she did a couple of dance moves in the middle

of the room. Laura made herself smile back, recognising

the song as one shed been hearing with regular monotony

on the local radio station. Nickis sweet voice was low and

unobtrusive, and Laura noticed Papa look fondly on as his

granddaughter danced. Laura decided shed ask for a concert

from the sixteen-year-old before she and the others returned

to Adelaide. Her stepmother, Georgie, was quite a pianist, andthe music mother and daughter created together was beautiful.

Laura knew she had to savour the day. These gatherings

didnt happen with the frequency they should, not since her

dad and Georgie had left Nambina.

Today was even more special, though. Her Papa, Howie,

had asked Laura to organise it, saying he had an importantannouncement to make. She didnt know what he was going

to say, and the rest of the family appeared to be as much in the

dark as she was.

Laura played with the champagne glass in her hand, feeling

nervous. Her own news was big enough, let alone whatever

Howie was going to drop on them.

Shed picked up the phone to call her boyfriend, Josh,about a hundred times since yesterday. She wanted to tell him


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he was going to be a dad. But she kept disconnecting before

hed had a chance to answer.

She was so mixed up. Her dream was to have an impact onthe agricultural industry and to farm at the same time. And

she was already making a difference, she felt, as a member of

several local committees. But could she do all she wanted and

planned with a baby in tow?

One moment she was sure shed manage, and shed imagine

taking a pram into a meeting and the baby playing quietly

or sleeping while she helped with something important and

useful, like having trial plots on Nambina, liaising with

research and development companies, offering her stock as

guinea pigs for the good of production. There could be field

days on Nambina, with her show-casing the results. But of

course, babies didnt always do what their parents wanted,

and in the next moment shed be positive she couldnt do it.Shed envision the baby screaming and being unable to settle

it, while her colleagues looked on with disdain or sympathy.

At these times, she wondered whether it would be better for all

concerned if she had a termination.

And then there was Josh. She shook her head. In her mind

shed had the conversation with him a million timesand itnever went well.

A recent incident at the pub hadnt helped. Laura and

Josh were eating dinner with Joshs half-sister Meghan, who

happened to be Lauras best friend. Also there that night was

a family with a newborn baby. The little boy was crying and

the mother, who looked exhausted, couldnt calm him down.

Meghan had gone over to help and brought the baby back totheir table.


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To Lauras surprise, the normally understanding Josh was

annoyed. Dont bring that screaming bundle of noise over

here, hed said.Cant you see how tired that poor woman is? Meghan had

answered. Someone needs to give her a break, even if its just

for five minutes.

Shouldnt come out in public if they cant stop it crying,

Josh responded, taking another slug of his beer. Wrecks the

whole night for everyone else.

Meghan had shaken her head with an exasperated smile and

rolled her eyes at Laura. Her grin changed to triumph when

the little boy burped long and loudly then stopped crying. His

eyes fluttered, and within minutes he was asleep.

There, she cooed. Thats better, isnt it? You can go to

sleep now. She took the baby back to his mother, settled him

in the pram and waved away her grateful thanks.Laura pulled herself away from the memory. She knew Josh

could react either way to her news. Maybe he would be angry,

but maybe he wouldnt. After all, he helped create the child.

And what would Howie say? What would her family say?

She glanced around the room. Howie, at the ripe old age

of seventy-eight, leaned on his walking stick, warming hisbones by the fire as he talked intently to Sean, Lauras father.

Nicki had joined them. Not far away sat her youngest sister,

Poppy, headphones jammed on her ears. Laura could hear the

pumping music from where she stood, many metres away. A

trip to the country didnt suit the fourteen-year-old, and she

seemed determined to block it out as much as possible.

Laura knew with certainty that her family wouldnt judgeher. So what was she worried about? The fact she wasnt sure


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she wanted to keep the child? She wasnt ready? She gritted

her teeth, furious at herself. How could she be thinking along

those lines when she had such a supportive family? She knewthey would juggle their lives to make things work for her, just

as she would for any of them.

Turning to look out the window and down the winding

drive, Laura caught sight of a dark blue ute racing towards the

house. Butterflies started in her stomach.

Josh.

He parked next to the garage and she felt her heart beat a

little faster as his familiar long frame unfolded from the cab.

Theyd been together for a couple of years now, and were as

in love as the first day they got together. Josh was good-looking

and clever, and they shared a passion for the land.

But when they first fell for each other it had surprised

everyone, including Laura. Josh had never been on her radar,even though he was only two years older and his sister was her

best friend. Theyd attended the same primary school, but hed

left for boarding school in Adelaide while shed gone to the

local high school in Mangalow, the nearest town.

Laura had heard snippets of Joshs life from Meghan, but

at first had only taken a passing interest because they werefriends.

That all changed in 1998 during the AFL grand final.

Laura had gone to the golf club with another close friend,

Catherine, to watch Adelaide play North Melbourne. Shed

been surprised when Josh had walked in. Last shed heard, he

was at ag college in Geelong.

Shed caught him looking at her a couple of times. Thethird time she boldly met his gaze. At half-time, he bought her


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a drink. At full-time he asked her out to dinner, and by the end

of the weekend, they were an item.

Meghan was thrilled.Now Lauras stomach flipped again as Josh walked up

the path. Unsure if it was morning sickness, nervousness or

excitement, she put down the glass of champagne shed been

pretending to sip and opened the door, letting a blast of wind

blow in.

Hi! You made it. Shocking day.

Josh dropped a swift kiss on her lips, shook the water from

his Driza-Bone before peeling it off like an unwanted skin.

Bloody awful day, but Im liking the rain. Sorry Im late. Had

to pull a calf.

Laura took the jacket and hung it just inside the door,

ignoring the slow drips onto the floor. Okay? she queried.

Yeah, fine. Just a mis-presentation. Leg back. He loweredhis voice. Do you know what this shindig is about yet?

Nope, youre in the dark just as much as me.

Well, Ive brought this, in case its needed. Josh pulled the

cover off the camera that was slung around his neck. Smile!

He pointed the camera at Laura and snapped.

She poked out her tongue and crossed her eyes in a silentprotest.

Gday, Josh. Howie limped forward and Josh quickly

crossed the space between them, his hand extended.

I see youre here to document events, as usual, Howie said.

Josh was a keen photographer and always had his camera at the

ready.

Of course! Howie, how are you?In top form, lad. Top form. Howie clapped the younger


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man on the shoulder, and Sean came forward to shake his

hand. Georgie rushed over in a mist of perfume and kissed his

cheek. Josh was always welcome.Nicki smiled a shy hello but Poppy studiously ignored him

until Laura walked past her little sister and poked her with her

toe. She gave an unwilling wave to acknowledge his arrival.

Good to see you all, Josh said, accepting a beer from Laura

as he greeted them.

How are things on the farm, Josh? Sean asked.

He filled them in, then asked Sean about his medical

studies.

Three more exams, mate, and Im done. Really looking

forward to getting out there and practising.

Sean had tried farming. Hed tried lots of things. The couple

of years after he left school hed spent on Nambina, but he hadnt

enjoyed it and Howie had known it would only be a matter oftime before his son moved on. One night, Sean was drowning

his sorrows at the pub when he met a girl. Lee had been visiting

in the area but would soon be travelling back to Queensland,

where she lived. After an evening of laughter and companion-

ship together, Sean took up Lees offer to travel with her.

Two days later, they were on their way.Only as friends, Sean had said. Be good to have company.

Howie had nodded knowingly.

It was only supposed to be a twelve-month travelling

holiday. But a year turned into fiveand parenthood.

When Sean arrived home with a babe in arms, not once,

he said later, had Howie admonished him or given him a hard

time. Howie just helped care for Laura, making sure Seanfound his feet.


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The only time Howie showed any anger was when Sean

explained that Lee had made it clear she didnt want the child.

Couldnt handle being a mother, shed said.Sean told Laura that Howies disgust had been palpable,

and there had been times they had both wished his mother,

whod died years before, had been alive to help. We just coped

the best we could, Sean said. And we wouldnt have had it any

other way.

Sean began working on Nambina again, and Laura grew

up in and out of the sheep yards and paddocks. Shed loved

every moment. Sean, however, had spent the time attempting

to find the passion Howie had for the land, for the stock, for

wool, and for crops. But it just wasnt there. Instead, he found

Georgie and took solace in her arms.

Finally, six years ago, hed plucked up the courage to leave,

and leave for good.Howie had been unsurprised by Sean and Georgies move

to Adelaide. But what had astonished him was his middle-

aged son going back to study medicine. Sean had thrived on

the adrenalin and frenetic pace of his prac time in Emergency.

Having finally found his niche, he knew he had made the best

decision of his life.It had caused much gossip around the community, but

Howie had been steadfast in his support of, and belief in, his

son. He understood that living on the land without loving it

was no living at all.

Laura had been in year eleven when Sean and Georgie

moved. She was settled in a school bus routineit was only

fifteen minutes to the local school, which gave her plenty ofstudy andNambina time. With Howie as much a father figure


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as Sean, they all knew she wouldnt be going anywhere! Laura

was as allergic to the city as Poppy was to the country.

Well, now were all here, Howie began, some of you willbe wondering why. You shouldnt be. Its been too long since

we were together. He frowned over his glasses at Sean, who

grinned sheepishly and held his hands up in mock surrender.

So, lets sit down and Ill explain after weve had lunch.

Laura, can you serve?

Ill help. Georgie and Nicki spoke in unison and followed

Laura into the kitchen. Poppy didnt move.

Grabbing the oven mitts, Laura opened the oven door and

pulled out plates shed dished up earlier. Steam rose from the

roast lamb and vegetables.

Thats Papas, Dads and Joshs, she directed, before picking

up a couple herself.

As the family ate, the conversation was upbeat and thelaughter loud, but Laura could feel an expectation hanging

over the table. What would Howie be announcing? As she

swallowed her last mouthful, she felt Joshs hand on her leg. It

slid towards her thigh.

Hoping it wasnt obvious, she carefully moved her hand

under the table and grabbed Joshs, holding on tight, with anot-now shake of her head. She gazed ahead, ignoring him as

best she could. She wasnt embarrassed by his show of affec-

tion, just too wound up.

Her fingers strayed to her stomach and she let them rest

there for the briefest of moments. Then, realising everyone

had finished, she jumped up and began to clear the dishes. It

was hard to stay still.When everyone was seated again, Howie tapped on his


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wine glass with his fork. The family quieted immediately; Papa

commanded respect. Grasping his walking stick, he struggled

to his feet, refusing help from his son.Nambina has been in our family for three generations, he

said. Despite droughts and fires, too much and too little rain,

weve prospered and gone forward.

There was a quiet click and Laura looked around to see

Josh taking a photo.

Howie ignored him. Good management, he continued,

is part of the key to staying viable in todays farming world,

as is marketing and production levels and many other buzz

words I dont understand. He smiled and Laura looked down

at the table, grinning too. Theyd had this conversation only

two days earlier.

And I believe, no matter how much you love something,

theres no point in outstaying your welcome. He paused andLauras head snapped up. She drew in a quick breath. Its time

to pass it all on to someone who has as much passion and drive

as I did when I was young.

Howies watery eyes fixed firmly on Laura and she felt a

rush of heat to her cheeks.

Would you care to finish, son?Laura turned to look at her dad.

Sean cleared his throat and stood up. Laura, we know how

much you love farming and Nambina. Its that sort of love I

have never understood or had, and its why today we are passing

the reins of it over to you, darling girl. Howie will still live in

the house, but the farms yours to run as you see fit. Of course,

well keep an eye on the cheque book! He chuckled. Dad,Georgie and I believe you are destined for greatness within the


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ag industry. After all, youve achieved so much already. Look at

the Young Farmers Association that youve overhauled and got

pumping! Its just the tip of the iceberg. He paused, smilingat her, his face glowing with pride. Youve got an incredible

career in front of you and we cant wait to watch and see what

happens and where it ends up.

Laura sat still, eyes wide, unable to think of a word to say.

Her whole family was watching, waiting to see her reaction. She

opened her mouth. Shut it. Opened it again and said: Uh . . .

The table erupted with laughter.

Its not often youre speechless, Laura, Georgie said above

the noise.

I think youll agree, there is no one better suited, Sean

finished.

Chatter broke out but Laura couldnt distinguish what was

being said. She felt Howies rough hand patting hers. Her step-mother was smiling at her from the other side of the table and

her sisters whispering to each other, throwing weird glances

at her. Her stomach heaved a little as she rubbed it gently.

Would Papa have made the same decision if hed known she

was pregnant? Sure, Sean had brought home an illegitimate

daughter, but that was Howies sonit was different for boys.The woman always got judged, not the bloke. She banished

the notion. Of course he would have made the same decision!

She turned towards Josh, who leant forward to kiss her.

Lets raise our glasses to Laura and the new era of Nambina,

Sean said.

Josh jumped to his feet and began to take photos.

I, uh, I dont know what to say. Laura turned to Howie,her cheeks red and her face taut with anxiety.


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You dont have to say anything. We already know your

answer.

Laura had to look away. Howies smile showed how proudhe was of her. How excited he seemed to be at this new venture,

and she should be too. This was all shed ever wanted. To be on

Nambina, to run it as well as she could, to learn and improve

things. To be a leader.

Howie and Sean understood her drive and passion and had

just granted Laura her dream.

The problem was, she didnt know if she was up to it now.

As the days light faded, Laura walked Josh out to his ute. The

rain had stopped, but the breeze still came in bursts. Lauras

arms were crossed over her chest, trying to ward off the chill.

She looked towards the shearing shed and further on, tothe grazing land. Nambina was red gum country and despite

being reasonably flat, the loamy soil ensured it was well drained.

When the season broke, strawberry clover and rye grasses grew

in abundance and the large gum trees dotted throughout the

paddocks stood tall and proud. In the distance, on a hill, the

crumbling mansion of the disused asylum stood alone andempty, making Laura shiver.

Well, that was unexpected, Josh said, standing by the door

of the ute. He reached out, slipping his arms around her waist

and holding her tightly.

Laura smiled up at Josh and ran her hand over her long

hair, trying to stop it from whipping around their faces. Youre

telling me. She turned into the bitter wind, thankful for thecoolness on her burning cheeks.


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Arent you pleased? I was sure youd be jumping for joy. He

put his cold hand on her face, keeping the other one firmly on

her hips and kissed her. Then he let her go.Laura touched the place on her lips where his had just been.

Its just really taken me by surprise. I . . . She stopped and ran

her finger over the chrome badge on the side of the ute, trying

to work out what to say next.

Come on, Laurs. Its a great opportunity. I cant think of

anyone else who would just get a farm handed to them. He

tilted his head meaningfully.

I know. She straightened her shoulders and looked him

in the eye, knowing he had mistaken her hesitation for being

daunted at the prospect. Josh, she started, but he had already

rushed on.

Youll be able to buy some of those White Suffolk rams

you and Meghan have been talking about. Man, wont she bepleased! Shes always been so proud of you. As am I. He kissed

her again. And Catherine. Shell be happy too. I can just see

you all dreaming and scheming. He smiled at her and ran his

fingers over her cheek. Be happy about it, not scared. Its a

challenge! Opening the ute door, he climbed in and wound

the window down.Laura gathered her hair into an untidy bun at the nape of

her neck. She needed to tell him now.

I got some great photos today. Ill get you some prints

made.

Right now.

Before he left.

Laura tried to form the words but her voice remained stub-bornly quiet, the words stuck in her head.


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Come here, Josh said, gently tugging on her wayward

hair to pull her to him. Congratulations, baby, he muttered

against her lips. You deserve this. See you soon.Laura tucked her arms around her stomach as he started

the engine and gave the accelerator a couple of jabs. The V8

rumbled.

Josh, I really need to talk to you. But between the wind

stealing her words and the noise of the engine, she knew she

hadnt been heard. The ute jumped forward and Josh drove

away down the dirt road.

As the sound of the vehicle faded into the distance, the sun

showed its face for the first time that day. A crimson ray shot

through the cloud and reflected off the shearing shed roof.

Laura stood and watched, confusion whirling within her.

She still wasnt convinced she could manage everything, even

with Josh by her side. So where did that leave her?


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Chapter 2

2000

Doctors! Surely it cant be that hard to keep appointment

times! I mean, really, we all have lives and things to do.

Meghan raised her coffee cup to her lips and stared at Lauraover the rim.

They were sitting in a cafe on the main street of Mangalow

while Meghan waited to see a doctor at the surgery across the

road.

You, being a nurse and all, would understand the delays,

wouldnt you? Laura asked mildly. Arent there times when onepatient needs attention more urgently than another? Maybe

thats whats happening at the moment. She took another sip

of her water and felt her phone vibrate. Talking and reaching

for it at the same time, she continued: Anyway, its given us

a chance to catch up. Im not sure when Ill be able to get

a spare hour again. You should see my diary! She looked at

the number and saw there was a message. She dialled into hermessage bank.


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Meghan was quiet for a moment. Gah! I know youre right.

Im just nervous. Impatient, she said finally.

Laura giggled. You? Not possible. She shook her head toemphasise her words.

Meghan broke into laughter and punched her gently on

the arm. I need another coffee. Do you want one?

Im fine with the water, Laura said. The truth was, she was

having trouble keeping even thatdown. Just the thought of

coffee made her almost dry retch.

Meghan squinted at her. Why, arent you drinking coffee?

You live on the stuff.

Laura held her hand up, listening to the message on her

phone. She took her diary out of her bag and started to take

notes. When the message ended, Laura stayed on the phone

for a few moments, more in the hope that Meghan would go

and order and forget her question.But Meghan had gone nowhere. Laura looked at her notes

and reached for her glass again. Health kick, she finally

answered.

Meghan snorted. Why? Youre almost too skinny as it is.

Laura changed the subject. Can you believe this? You know

Neil, the president of the Young Farmers Association? Heschanged the meeting time again! How can I plan anything if

he keeps changing when its supposed to be! Its so frustrating.

She stood up. You order. Im going to the loo. Be back in a

sec.

Ha! You were just saying that sometimes things crop

up, Meghan said to Lauras back as she walked towards the

restrooms. Now its your turn to take a chill pill!Pushing open the door into the stall, Laura flipped the lid


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down and sank onto the seat. With her head in her hands, she

tried to fight the tears, but they were threatening to spill over.

She really didnt care that the meeting had been postponed.She was trying to stop her best friend from finding out she was

pregnant to her brother, trying to keep up appearances and act

as if nothing was wrong. As if nothing had changed in her life.

That she was grabbing the opportunity of Nambina with both

hands and going for it.

But things had changed. The mixed-up, churned-up sick

feeling never left her, no matter the time of day, and the need

to tell someone was overwhelming.

Laura didnt understand why she still hadnt told Josh, and

she knew she couldnt tell anyone before she told him. Not

even Meghan. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her runny nose

on a piece of toilet paper and dabbed at her eyes. She couldnt

go back out like this. Meghan would know something waswrong for sure.

She stood up and threw back her shoulders. Youre going

to have to get a handle on yourself, she told herself.

Catherines voice entered her head as Laura imagined what

shed say if she knew about the baby. Cowgirl up, honeybunch.

Its all good! Youre fine. But maybe tell him today, huh?She thought of her practical, lovely friend. Theyd met at

a field day, eight years before, and bonded over the muddy

plot of barley they were learning about. The energy changed

when Catherine walked into a room. Her positive attitude and

refusal to see a setback as a bad thing were just two of the things

Laura loved about her. Catherines dream was to bridge the gap

between city and country by teaching the farming communityhow to communicate with their city cousins about their jobs,


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treatment of animals and producing food. She was the most

likely person to succeed whom Laura had ever known.

Finally she splashed water on her face and went out intothe caf. Josh was sitting in her seat, breakfast in front of him,

and she smiled without thinking. She walked over quickly and

put her hands over his eyes.

Hey there, sexy, Josh said. It was their standard greeting.

She leaned forward and kissed him on the head then sat

down in the spare chair. Hi, yourself. Whatre you doing in

town?

Came to pick up some drench for the ewes. Found barbers

pole in one mob. Took the opportunity to pick up some of the

photos I took at lunch the other day. Ive got them in the ute

for you. He shovelled the bacon and egg sandwich into his

mouth. Have you been around your ewes?

She nodded. Im not surprised. Id been thinking theconditions were pretty perfect for that type of worm. But were

all good. She turned to Meghan. Have they rung yet?

Meghan shook her head. Still waiting.

Laura really hoped this new doctor would be able to

pinpoint what was causing the crippling pain her friend was

suffering in the pelvic area. The last doctor had put it down toa urinary tract infection. Laura was sure it was something more

serious. Whatever it was, it needed to be sorted out. Meghan

had been worrying about herself so much it was affecting her

mood. Usually cheerful, she had become despondent and

seemed unable to see the good in things.

Josh reached over and patted his half-sisters hand. I know

this new bloke will get to the bottom of it, he said gently.Laurs was right to suggest you go.


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Meghan nodded and was about to speak when Lauras

phone vibrated again. Laura looked at the number and excused

herself. Hi, Jim, she said, walking out onto the street.Laura, the president of the Rural Action Group said. It

was yet another committee Laura was involved with. Ive had

an email from a cropping organisation in Western Australia

wanting to tour our area. You in?

When is it and what do they want to see? she asked.

Next year, June-ish. Crops mostly. Jim spoke in short

sharp burstsshe could tell he was excited. Theyre making

a trip of it. Coming over on a bus, stopping off on the west

coast, detouring down the east peninsula, footy in Adelaide

and then down our way.

Im in, if they want to look over Nambina, but we dont

have a lot of crop.

Thats fine. Ill write you down. And Laura? he paused.Theyve invited us back there in July. Be a brilliant oppor-

tunity to forge some good contacts.

Yeah, she agreed, but her heart sank. By then shed have

a tiny baby to care for. There was no way shed be able to go.

Catch you later.

Laura walked back into the caf just as Meghan stood up.The surgery just rang. Theres only one patient in front of me

now, Meghan said to Lauras questioning look.

Laura held out her arms. I hope it all goes as well as it can.

She hugged Meghan tight. Josh stepped up and put his arms

around both of them.

Itll be fine, he murmured into their hair.

They broke apart and Laura could see Meghan had tearsin her eyes. Impulsively she grabbed Meghans hand. Do


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you want me to come with you? I can ring Neil and put our

meeting off for an hour or so. Its only the two of us, anyway.

He wont mind. Hes already changed the time twice. I dontthink it will matter if I do, as well.

Meghan shook her head. No, Ill be okay. This is something

I need to do myself. But thanks. With a look of apprehension

on her face, she left the caf.

Laura and Josh watched her cross the street.

I hope they find out whats wrong, Laura said softly. Im

beginning to worry. She pulled out her diary and wrote a

reminder to ring Meghan the following day.

Me too, Josh answered.

Laura felt her emotions begin to get the better of her again

and grabbed Joshs hand. Come on, Ive got something to tell

you, she said, dragging him towards the door.

As they walked out onto the street, Laura noticed that Joshseemed angry.

Whats wrong? she asked as they walked to his ute, where

he handed over the photos. Laura stuffed them into her back

pocket and they headed towards the park.

Nothing, he answered shortly.

Laura raised her eyebrows. Doesnt sound like nothing,she countered.

Who was on the phone to you?

Which call? Laura asked, forgetting he hadnt been there

for the first one.

The one you just answered. How many did you get before

I arrived?

Oh, that was Jim. Jim Munday. You know, the presidentof the Rural Action Group. Feels like the phone hasnt stopped


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today. I dont think Id be able to remember everything without

my diary.

They reached the park and stood beneath a large tree.Laura didnt know what kind of tree it was, but she knew that

the same trees grew around the house on Nambina. When

she was a kid, Sean had shown her how to pick the pods

and stuff them with painted cotton wool. They looked like

robin red breasts and hed taught her a nursery rhyme: Little

Robin Redbreast satupon a tree. Theyd used the seed pods as

Christmas decorations.

Ill be able to do that when this little one is born. All at

once, she was baffled by her reasoning, which seemed to turn

180 degrees at any given moment. Just this morning shed

been thinking again about terminating the pregnancy.

I think hes got his eye on you, Josh said, turning to face

her.What? Laura didnt understand what he was saying.

Jim. Hes got the hots for you.

Laura was silent, not sure where the conversation was

heading. So what? She shrugged. I dont have for him.

Anyway, Im sure youre wrong. Hes never given me any sign

that he has.You shouldnt put yourself in situations where people can

get the wrong idea. Josh folded his arms, staring at her intently.

Im not! Inexplicably, tears welled up. How dare you,

Josh Hunter! She turned away.

You are. Josh persisted. He rings you and you answer.

Talking to him, sitting with him at meetings. You should be

distancing yourself from him.Anger flared now. And how do you propose I do that? Hes


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the president and Im the bloody secretary. Its pretty normal

we should have conversations. I cant believe youre even

thinking like this.Well, I am. And you need to listen to me. I can see how it

looks to everyone else. And Ive seen how he looks at you. Im

sure you dont want to be the talk of the town. Josh stuck out

his chin and Laura had the unexpected urge to hit him.

If you dont trust me, Josh, why are you going out with

me? She stared straight into his eyes.

I trust you, but I dont trust Jim. The best thing to do is

take yourself away from the situation.

This is ridiculous, Laura exploded. The whole conver-

sation is bloody stupid. You sound just like your mother! A

thought struck her. Oh, she nodded her head, thats where

all this is coming from. Glenda. She doesnt like me. Never

has. Joshs stepmother had all kinds of pretensions. Who knewwhat the socialite farmers wife thought of their relationship?

Laura crossed her arms. Let me tell you, I dont care what the

town thinks about me and I really dont care what your mother

thinks. Im not resigning from my position just because she

doesnt approve. She began to walk away.

Laura! I didnt mean for us to fight, Josh called.Well, I dont know where you thought the conversation

was heading, bringing up that sort of rubbish. I have to go. I

have things to do. She looked over her shoulder with disbelief

on her face. When youre ready to apologise, call me.

Me? Apologise for what?

Laura didnt answer. She kept walking back to her ute. She

put her handbag on the roof of the car and dug her keys outof her pocket. Forgetting her bag, she drove off, her cheeks red


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with anger. At some point on the journey home her bag blew

off the ute roof. It wasnt until she got home to Nambina that

she realised what had happened, and that her precious diaryhad also gone for good.

Come on, Laurs! If you dont get off that farm, youre going

to turn into a sheep. Meghan always overstated things. Thats

just the way she was.

Laura laughed. Dont be dense! Anyway, I was at the Young

Farmers meeting a couple of nights ago. Im still going out,

not welded to the yards just yet.

But tomorrows Friday. Youve got to come to the pub. We

always go.

I know, I know, but Im just so tired, Meghan. I really need

an early night. In all honesty Laura couldnt think of anythingworse than going to a smoke-filled, beer-smelling, yahooing

pub. Even with her best friend. And how would she explain

not drinking?

Meghan lowered her voice and Laura imagined her friend

glancing around to make sure her mother wasnt about. Laura

now had a clear idea how Glenda felt about her relationshipwith Josh, and it wasnt good. Shed obviously been in Meghan

and Joshs ear.

Howie had implied as much when Laura, ashen faced, told

him about her argument with Josh in the park.

Doesnt sound like the Josh I know, hed said. Whats got

into him? Or whohas?

Thats not the point. How could he stand there and accuseme of something I havent done? Laura had fumed.


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With a little placating Howie had managed to calm her,

but Laura still felt uneasy. Something wasnt right. The two

phone calls shed had with Josh since had been stilted and shewasnt sure she could forget it until he apologised.

Now Meghan was talking in hushed tones down the line.

Josh is worried about you, and I am too, she said. Youre so

tired all the time. Josh said you overreacted to something he

said last week and you look pale. Are you sick?

Laura ignored the jibe about her so-called overreaction

and closed her eyes, wishing with all her might she could tell

Meghan. That she could halve the load. In fact, she got as far

as opening her mouth before stopping herself again. Josh had

to know first.

Im fine, she said. Just a little rundown. After all, its not

just the farm, its all the other things Im involved in. She took

the opportunity to change the subject. Did you know Im onfive different committees? I counted them.

Dont doubt it.

Ive been trying to arrange to get Catherine back down

here. She runs empowering and communications courses for

women now. But shes so hard to pin down. So busy! Id love

to be able to do something like that, wouldnt you?Not really, Laura. Meghan determinedly turned the topic

back to what she wanted to talk about. You havent even got

time for Josh or me these days. Her tone was whiny, laced

with reproach.

Laura sighed inwardly and rubbed her forehead. Lord, she

was exhausted and the gruelling schedule she had created for

herself since she took over Nambina hadnt helped. Of course,neither had the little one inside her. The doctor had, in a


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loving way, described an unborn baby as a parasitea being

that leaches all the goodness out of its mother. Apparently it

wasnt unusual to feel the way she did.As much as she loved Meghan, there was no doubt she was

needy at times. Today, Laura wasnt sure she had the energy.

Look, how about we have a lunch at Nambina on Sunday? Ive

got an Agricultural Society meeting in the morning, but Ill be

home by eleven. She hesitated. Well, thats if Jason hasnt had

another fabulous idea that needs ten hours of discussion, as he

usually does. Laura tried to remember what was in the freezer.

Ill do a roast in the Weber.

There was a pause. Id like that. I . . . Meghan broke off.

I need to talk to you.

Irrational fear shot through Laura as she wondered if there

was any way Meghan could know she was pregnant. She was a

nurse, after all. Maybe shed noticed something.Whats up? Laura said.

Ive finally got a diagnosis.

Oh hell, Meghan. What a bloody awful friend Ive been.

I forgot to ring you and ask. Damn, I dont know how that

happened. Im so sorry. Ive been so caught up in my own

stuff, I completely forgot that youd been to see that doctor.In fact, Laura knew exactly why shed forgottenthe argu-

ment with Josh and the fact shed lost her diary. When she

arrived home and realised what had happened, shed spent the

rest of the day buying a new phone and trying to track down

what meetings she had over the next month. It had been a

nightmare.

Josh hadnt thought to mention Meghan in either of theirconversations, either.


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What did Dr Jones say? she asked gently.

Hes pretty sure Ive got endometriosis. Meghans voice

cracked and Laura listened as her friend took a breath beforegoing on. Theyve got to do more tests, but hes just about

certain I cant have children. Meghan sniffled. You know how

much I love kidsthats why I trained as a paediatric nurse.

Its why I help at the kindy on my days off. I couldnt wait

to have my own, when I met the right guy, Laurs. And now,

maybe I cant. Her voice broke.

Laura choked down a gasp.


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Also by Fleur McDonald

Red Dust

Blue Skies

Purple Roads

Silver Clouds


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Fleur McDonald lives on a large farm east of Esperance in

Western Australia, where she and her husband Anthony

produce prime lambs and cattle, run an Angus cattle and White

Suffolk stud and produce a small amount of crops. They have

two children, Rochelle and Hayden. Fleur snatches time for

her writing in between helping on the farm, and chats about

her life on the land as a writer, mum and farmer on Facebook,

Twitter and her blog. Crimson Dawnis her fifth novel.

www.fleurmcdonald.com
http://www.fleurmcdonald.com/http://www.fleurmcdonald.com/

fleur mcdonald - crimson dawn (extract)

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