Flying First Class with Hubris

I am finally home after a very long three weeks in Africa.

I'll write more about that trip later--needless to say it

was eventful. The last leg of my trip--the leg from

Chicago to Albuquerque--I got upgraded to first class.

I'm not too sure why that happened...but, never look a

gift horse in the mouth!

In first class they handed out some nice snack boxes for

those of us elites flying in the front. The box was full of

wonderful and tasty delights, the like of which I had

never seen back in steerage. There were all natural

potato chips--made only with the freshest and most

wholesome of ingredients. There was a wonderful shiny

aluminum and plastic foil packet filled with green olives

in olive oil and vinegar. A scrumptious cheese spread

made with parmesan cheese and herbs. This was for

spreading on the delicate little bread sticks made with

organically grown whole wheat flour and 0 trans fat olive

oil. And, the piece d'resistance: a small packet of

chocolate chip cookies made with organically grown

chocolate, organic flour, free range eggs, and shortening

so delicate and healthy it was guaranteed to pass through

your system and take double it's weight in bad fats along

with it as it went. I was over come with joy!

I was also overcome with the fact that the packaging used

weighed more and created a larger pile on my tray than

the actual food. Most of the actual food could have

hidden in a heap under my thumb nail with room for

another boxful of the same. The packaging was crowded

with notes about the spectacular good fortune I had in

eating these tiny gastronomical delights all the whilst

caring for my health, the planet, some free trade cocoa

farmers in Nigeria, one or two starving artists in San

Francisco...not to mention an orphanage in India...all of

whom benefited by my enjoyment of this delicate repast.

The nourishment I received from the small heap of

organically grown free range free traded food was so

small my stomach sent up a message to the head asking,

very politely, if the throat had been cut--or, was on strike.

Head didn't answer because it was busy swelling with

hubris over all the good done by enjoying the snack while

caring for the environment and the starving San

Francisco artists.

Later, the flight attendant came by and loaded the

detritus of the foil packets, plastic wrappers, and plastic

ware into a huge plastic sack of rubbish generated by my

fellow passengers in first class. I presume United

Airlines will carefully recycle that rubbish in a very

wonderful, caring, and environmentally safe way.

I am left with the hope that my head will return to

normal size and I will be able to once again wear my "git

'er done' baseball cap.

GREG