French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?

It was one of those few cold fall days that Southern California rarely ever experienced. The weather seemed to only add to my already somber mood. The cool air chilled my bones as I stood within my backyard swaying to the melody of medieval metal trying to take my mind off my parents’ imminent divorce. It was the first Iron Maiden album I had ever been exposed to—my first taste of what true lyrics were. Over and over again, I played the title track “Dance of Death” on my baby blue and gray CD player.

There was something about that song that had captivated me, maybe it was the hidden message I felt lied within cryptic lyrics or maybe the connection I had formed with it. Every word sung by Bruce Dickenson conveyed the exact emotion I was feeling; yet the song spoke nothing about family issues. Resting somewhere deep within the lyrics I knew there was a story that far surpassed my once one-dimensional viewpoint on the world.

At the time, I saw my life through the eyes of a child who had never felt true grief. With the addition of my mom’s repeated suicide attempts into the equation, my simple perception of the world was transformed forever. As I tried to understand the agony I was feeling, my emotions chose to keep me locked in an isolated state somewhere between childhood and adulthood. I was alone in my struggle to overcome the pain, but wasn’t mature enough to understand the implications that came with death.

As I attempted to dissect the lyrics of the “Dance of Death”, I began to move towards arriving (or you mean “and arrived”?) at an inner bliss within myself. By forgoing my emotions and current carnal being, I was able to see a deeper meaning within life and existence. Our lives as humans were all linked to one another through this unexplainable concept called death. It was an unavoidable fate that we would all one day meet in a certain individual circumstance or another. Whether my mom chose to end her visit on earth now or continue to venture her life within its enormity, I had no say in her decision neither would I pass judgment on choice that I didn’t fully understand. After all, what lied beyond our current existence was a mystery to me. If after our passing we floated as lost souls wandering throughout universe or if we were reincarnated to live again, the end result had no bearing on how I would live my life on earth; each day of my existence I would make the most of the precious gift of life that had been bestowed upon me. My time spent on this earth would not be lived in vain.

Although the relationship between my mother and me inevitably diminished in the years following, “A Dance of Death” had inspired me to let a life (which is) independent from her. I was my own entity living in an unpredictable world; she wouldn’t always be there to offer solace in times of need. I learned to cope with this reality by seeing the vast possibilities the world created. Even as a single person, I

realized I could change the world forever. My mom didn’t need to be there to guide me through life; I could experience the journey for myself.

To this day, I still remain uncertain to the true lyrical meaning behind the “Dance of Death”; it didn’t make a difference to me though. My own interpretation of the “Dance of Death” had forever altered how I viewed life. No one-sided explanation of the song could have affected me in the same way. For an instance, I was able to have an out of body experience allowing myself to realize I was not alone in this problematic endeavor called life; I had been able to form a kinship with a musician I had never even met. Although I don’t know all the answers regarding our existence, I’ve grown to appreciate the common community music creates; a community joining together people from all walks of life relating to one another through creative energy.

Paragraph 2/3: What is your “once one-dimensional viewpoint on the world”? What is your “eye of a child who never felt grief”? Sorry, but I cannot imagine how you felt when sticking between childhood and adulthood. It cannot be simply described by one word “agony”, or “pain”, or “isolation”. It is way too general, when it should have been something specific of yours.

Now I think I want to hear something personal from you. For example, how did you react (just a few typical actions) at that time? How did those actions lead you to the conclusion that “I was alone in my struggle to overcome the pain, but wasn’t mature enough to understand the implications that came with death?” (prove me that you were alone, and you were immature)

Paragraph 4: Now I can’t imagine how the song guided you to such state (no emotion, no sense, only thoughts), let alone how it helped you along the way to your conclusion about death and life.

Okay, for the first half (what I say above about the state), you may say “that’s really sudden”. Then show me it’s sudden. You can quote your thoughts, your words at that time; writing without exclamation is not the only choice.

For the last half, if you can make a comparison, then go for it. If, in fact, the song had no obvious role, then I think you should make it clear that the song only drove you to that state, and that the rest was yours.

Paragraph 5: Again, how did you come to those conclusions? Do not let the readers left wondering, “Hey, this person is “extraordinary”. He/she jots words down and forces everyone to understand that is a universal truth without any explanation!!!”

Overall: I still cannot comprehend your essay. You can regard that I may not be a philosopher, not that great brain. However there will be many people of different kinds to judge your application. If they are all philosophers, you are lucky. If not, you

are out. (I think even if I am a philosopher, I still cannot understand what you were saying at all)

I don’t recommend you not to write something abstract. I only recommend you to make it clear and LOGICAL.

Those are about how to write (actually how to CONVEY THE THOUGHTS). Now about the prompt, I think you addressed it well. The question is just “what don’t you know,” so don’t feel worried about the previous quote, because it’s your choice to agree with it. In general, I can feel that you know how to enjoy this journey of life, how to discover it. What you don’t know is many, but I do know that you will certainly pursue this journey till the end with self-confidence. Am I correct? However the adcom don’t have as much time as I, so the way you write will greatly decide your fate.