friday night and saturday morning
TRANSCRIPT
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
1/38
Friday Night and Saturday Morning
by
Christopher Wilcox
Episode One
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
2/38
2
1. EXT. PUBLIC HOUSE SMOKING SHELTER.
NIGHT.
NEIL AND MORGAN ARE SHELTERING FROM THE
RAIN WHILST SMOKING CIGARETTES. THE PAIR ARESAT AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BENCH. NEIL IS SAT
FORWARD AND HUNCHED OVER. MORGAN IS SAT
BACK AND IS MORE INTERESTED IN HIS CIG THAN
NEIL. BOTH ARE SILENT FOR A FEW MOMENTS.
NEIL:
Its over.
MORGAN:What is?
NEIL:
My life. Its over. Im twenty-five, and my life is over.
MORGAN:
Come on, mate. IfJensgonna act like that over
something so daft then I think youre better off
without.
NEIL:
It was my fault though.
MORGAN:
You made one mistake. How was you to know she
was gonna react so badly to it?
NEIL:
I should have paid more attention to her. Given her
more thought, and this never would have happened.
MORGAN:
Look, if shethought that much of you, theres no way
shed have kicked you out.
NEIL:(SITTING UP) I suppose.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
3/38
3
MORGAN:
Theres no suppose about it. Your life isnt over. Its
just beginning. Youre only twenty-five for god sake.
Youve got your health and a top job to boot.
NEIL:
Come on, give it a rest. You sound like that fucking
Graham off Jeremy Kyle!
MORGAN:
Im telling yer. Theres plenty more fish in the chippy,
my friend. And with any luck, and a bit of the old
Morgan magic, you might end up with a battered
sausage by the end of tonight too!
NEIL:
(NOW SMILING) Have you got a book of chippy-
based puns or something?
MORGAN:
(THINKS) War and Peas?
NEIL:
Too easy.
MORGAN:
What about Smackbeth?
NEIL:
Can you even get smacks from the chippy anymore?
MORGAN:
Course you can! I had a smack barm last week.
NEIL:
Anyway, too obscure.
MORGAN:
Four Puddings and a Funeral!
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
4/38
4
NEIL:
That was a bloody film, not a book!
MORGAN:
Well, whatever. Are we going inside then?
NEIL NODS AS HE FINISHES HIS PINT
MORGAN:
(THROWING AWAY HIS CIG BUTT) I didnt even
enjoy it anyway. I dont know why I still bother.
NEIL:
I recall the only reason you started in college becauseyou said the easiest way to start talking to a girl is
asking them for a light.
MORGAN:
Christ knows. I can hardly remember what life was
like pre-smoking ban. That is something that I would
say though. And it worked!
BOTH STAND AND HEAD TOWARDS THE DOOR
2. INT. HALF-BUSY PUB. DIMLY LIT.
BARMAID, BECK, IS SERVING CUSTOMERS. BAR
MANAGER, PETE, IS IDLY STANDING BY WIPING
EMPTY GLASSES WITH A TOWEL. NEIL AND
MORGAN STROLL IN FROM OUTSIDE AND HEADFOR THE BAR.
PETE:
Same again, lads?
MORGAN:
You know us too well.
PETE BEGINS TO PULL THE PINTS
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
5/38
5
PETE:
(TO NEIL) So are you gonna tell us what happened
then or what?
MORGAN:Well he came to his senses, didnt he?
NEIL LOOKS MIFFED
NEIL:
It was her who ended it, actually. Shed been telling
me that she couldnt see us having a future together
unless I was more committed towards her. So I
obviously took that as she wanted me to propose.
MORGAN:
(TO PETE) Worst thing he couldve done.
PETE PUTS THE PINTS ON THE BAR
PETE:
Ere you go.On the house.
MORGAN:
Aw, cheers, mate!
PETE:
I dont know what youre thanking me for. Yours is
2.20.
NEIL LAUGHS
MORGAN:
Eh?
PETE:
Well youre not the depressed one, are yer?
MORGAN:
I will be if you carry on handing him free pints.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
6/38
6
MORGAN RELUCTANTLY HANDS OVER THE
CHANGE
PETE:
Ill come and sit down with you. Youre alrightlooking after the bar on your own for ten minutes,
Beck?
BECK:
I suppose.
THE THREE MOVE OVER TO A TABLE IN THE
CORNER
NEIL:
So, anyway, Id been wracking me brain for weeks
trying to think of a way to propose that she might
actually appreciate. I wasnt going to go overboard,
cos I know she wouldnt want a great big fuss. Plus,
have you seen the price of engagement rings
recently? Moneys a bit tight since we moved in
together and I thought shed understand. I even went
to see her dad about it, just to smooth everything over
between me and him, especially after what happened
last year.
PETE LOOKS PUZZLED
MORGAN:
They went on to Spain with her mam and dad. Those
two go back to the hotel for an early night and leavehim and Jen out on the piss. Olly Reed, ere, gets back
to their room at daft oclock and somehow stumbles
into her parents room next door. He only walks in on
them two stark bollock naked, bar the stockings and
suspenders that her dad was wearing! He was tied to
the bed, whilst his missus was thrusting a great big
black mamba up his arse!
MORGAN AND PETE GUFFAW. NEIL LOOKSEMBARRASSED.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
7/38
7
NEIL:
It turned out that theyd left the door unlocked for
another couple theyd got talking to around the pool,
whod nipped back to their rooms for a minute.
PETE:
Probably some rubber sheets in case her dad ended
up following through!
NEIL:
It only took Jen twenty odd years to realise why he
always insisted on having a shed load of cushions on
his armchair.
PETE:
So did you propose to the perverts daughter?
NEIL:
Well I got this.. (HESITATES) ..not cheap, but yknow,
half-decent plain ring from that Chinese jewellers
behind the indoor market.
PETE:
Pawn Crackers?
NEIL:
Yeah, thats the one. So I cooked our usual Sunday
morning fry-up, but really made the effort; bacon,
sausage, beans, fried egg, boiled egg, mushrooms,
tomatoes, hash browns, toast, an abit of fried bread
the lot.
PETE:
No black pudding?
NEIL:
Nah, she said she cant lay eyes on a black pudding
these days without picturing her dad with that dildo.
PETE AND MORGAN LAUGH
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
8/38
8
NEIL:
I even treated her to breakfast in bed, cos she usually
doesnt let me eat out of the kitchen. I woke her up
and stuck the tray on her knee.
MORGAN:
Hed only gone and put the engagement ring on one
of the bloody sausages, hadnt he?!
MORGAN AND PETE BURST OUT LAUGHING
PETE:
I take it she didnt appreciate a cheap ring dipped in
bean juice then?
NEIL:
She hit the fucking roof. Said it was typical of me to
treat our relationship like a joke and that was the
straw that broke the camels back. Apparently she did
want a big fuss making, and had been hinting about
it for weeks. Told me to pack me bags and get out of
the flatthe same flat that Im still bloody paying
towards.
PETE:
I bet all that stuff for the breakfast cost more than the
ring did.
NEIL:
Only by a few quid. She didnt even eat iteither. So
that was another bloody waste of money.
PETE:
How wide are her fingers anyway, if you could fit her
ring around a sausage?
MORGAN:
Shes got sausage fingers, hasnt she?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
9/38
9
NEIL:
She has not got sausage fingers! Alright, she does
have a bit of trouble using the touch screen on her
phone, but theyre not that big. I made sure I got
some thin sausages off Abdullah the Butcher after Idcome out of the pawn shop. I mean, jewellers.
PETE:
Where are you living now then?
NEIL:
Im back at me mams which is shite. Her new fella
what shes moved in has turned my old room into his
bleedin study. Which means that I have to make dowith a camp bed in the box room. I cant sleep on that
and Im hardly eating properly. I even asked if I could
take a couple of weeks off work to get everything
sorted. But I thought better of it cos the students have
got their A Levels coming up in a few weeks and its a
busy time for them.
MORGAN:
Your boss said no then?
NEIL:
That was his short answer, yeah.
MORGAN:
What was his long answer?
NEIL:Can you fuck?!
PETE LEANS ACROSS THE TABLE AND SHOUTS OVER
TO BECK BEHIND THE BAR
PETE:
Beck?! Chuck me and Bobby Sands ere a couple of
bags of crisps when youve got a sec.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
10/38
10
BECK:
Yeah, what flavour?
PETE:
Cheese n onion and
NEIL:
Smoky bacon. Obviously.
BECK WALKS TO THE TABLE WITH THE BAGS
BECK:
(TO PETE) Are you gonna come back behind there
now? Those glasses need to come out the dishwasher.
PETE:
Aye, go on then.
PETE GOES BACK TO THE BAR. NEIL OPENS HIS
CRISPS AND BEGINS TO EAT THEM, AND OFFERS
ONE TO MORGAN. PETE RETURNS TO THE TABLE
WITH A COUPLE OF POSTERS
PETE:
Ere Morgan, what do you make of this?
PETE HANDS MORGAN A POSTER WHILST PUTTING
THE OTHER ONE UP ON THE WALL BESIDE THE
TABLE
MORGAN:(READING THE POSTER) The King George the Fifth
presents speed dating.
PETE:
Two weeks tonight.
NEIL:
(CLEARLY SURPRISED) Speed dating? In here?!
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
11/38
11
MORGAN:
Whats all this about?
PETE:
Its not my idea, obviously. The Brewery wants morepunters coming in on a Friday night, and theyve
given us different ideas for event nights.
MORGAN:
Christ, youll be having karaoke back at this rate!
PETE:
That starts the week after.
NEIL:
And do you think shit like this will actually pull folk
in?
PETE:
You never know. Theres plenty of desperate fellas
and sad fishwives knocking about round ere.
(POINTING ACROSS THE PUB) Just have a look at
Chorley Dave.
CHORLEY DAVE IS A BALDING, LATE MIDDLE-AGED
MAN, WITH AN EAR PIERCED AND A BATTERED
LEATHER JACKET. THE ONLY COMPANY HE IS
KEEPING ARE SEVERAL EMPTY PINT GLASSES AND
AN OLD CARRIER BAG
PETE:Hes coming. I bet Elton Johns had his leg over a
woman more recently than him. And when he and
some of the other old twats get knocked back, they
can drink themselves into a coma afterwards.
NEIL:
Theres nowt like promoting responsible drinking, is
there?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
12/38
12
PETE:
(TO NEIL) Why dont you give it a try? It might take
your mind off the break-up.
NEIL:I wouldnt have thought so, mate. Its hardly my
thing, is it?
MORGAN:
Well, we could give it a go.
PETE:
Thats more like it.
NEIL:
Well youve soon changed your tune.
MORGAN:
Come on, theres no harm in trying. Youre going to
have to get back into the saddle sooner or later. Its
not like Jens going to take you back anytime soon, is
it? And itd be well funny to see you trying to snaffle a
MILF!
MORGAN STANDS UP AND SHOUTS TOWARDS THE
BAR
MORGAN:
Oi, Beck! Are you going in for this speed dating lark?
BECK:Oh, piss off, Daniel! You know Ive got a boyfriend.
MORGAN:
(ANNOYED) Ey! Only me mam calls meDaniel!
(TO NEIL) Shell love me one day.Anyway, lad, were
on the prowl tonight, arent we? When was the last
time you actually chatted a bird up?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
13/38
13
NEIL:
Five fuckin years. I can even remember what to say.
It was Jen who did all the taking between us when we
first met. And dont say on the prowl. It makes us
sound like those blokes you see on Crimewatchreconstructions that go around raping pensioners in
their own homes in the middle of the night.
MORGAN:
Dont talk wet! All you have to do is tell a girl that
shes beautiful and offer to buy her a drink. Always
works for me.
BECK IS NOW STANDING BESIDE PETE
BECK:
And when was the last time you had a girlfriend
then?
MORGAN:
Dont you worry your beautiful little head overme!
Well have the same again, please?
BECK IS UNIMPRESSED AND WALKS OFF TO THE
BAR
(TO NEIL) Lets just have a couple more in ere then
move onto town.
(TO PETE) Were going that swanky place whats just
opened on Salisbury Street. Its a bit pricey, like, butyou should see some of the birds that knock about in
there.
PETE:
You get what you pay for then?
NEIL:
Its not our usual scene but it looks better than most
of the other places along there. We ended up in that
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
14/38
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
15/38
15
NEIL:
(SINGING KNOWINGLY) I am the resurrection and I
am the life
MORGAN:That song could make me ejaculate.
NEIL:
It already has for me. I used to stick it on occasionally
for me and Jen.
MORGAN:
You kept that one quiet.
NEIL:
I used the drum beat to pace my thrusts to begin with,
and then when the guitar solo kicked in, Id flip her
over and go crazy mad ape shit on her arse! Id even
change the words in me head to I have a big erection
for my future wife!
BECK IS WALKING BY WITH EMPTIES AND
OVERHEARDS NEIL
BECK:
I dont even wanna know
MORGAN LAUGHS. NEIL IS SHEEPISH. MORGAN
NOTICES DAZ AT THE BAR.
MORGAN:Look whos here! Bloody gossip girl!
NEIL:
Fucking hell, if theres one person that I cant stand
DAZ HAS ALREADY SPOTTED NEIL AND MORGAN
AND HAS HEADED FOR THEIR TABLE
NEIL INTERRUPTS HIMSELF
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
16/38
16
NEIL:
(OVER-ENTHUSIASTICALLY) Darren! Alright, mate?!
DAZ:
(REFERRING TO THE STONE ROSES WHOM ARENOW PLAYING ON THE JUKEBOX) I wonder who
put this on, eh?!
MORGAN:
One can wonder, Daz. One can wonder. Hows
tricks?
DAZ:
A bit better than Neil, or so Ive heard.
NEIL:
How do you know?!
DAZ:
Fat Julie out the pie shop told me.
NEIL:
Fat fuckin Julie?!
DAZ:
Well she didnt tell me personally, but she was
blabbing about it to anyone in the queue whod listen.
NEIL:
I shouldve known!
MORGAN:
Whos Fat fuckin Julie?
NEIL:
Jens aunt. Shes got a tongue as loose as a tarts clout.
I cant even stand the sound of her, never mind the
sight, the fat bitch.
MORGAN:So itll have spread like wildfire?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
17/38
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
18/38
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
19/38
19
MORGAN:
And had you given her warts?
NEIL:
She doctor said she just had a spotty fanny.
MORGAN:
(LAUGHING) Its all coming out now, init!
PETE HAS RETURNED
PETE:
Youve just reminded me that weve got a new
promotion on johnnies in the Gents to coincide withthe speed dating. Get your five-a-day with five
fruities for a fiver!
MORGAN:
Bargain, that!
NEIL:
Ive changed me mind. Im not ready for going with
anybody new yet. It just doesnt feel right.
PETE:
Well theyre there if you change your mind.
MORGAN:
You cant be acting like this now!
NEIL:Nobody in real life has post-break up sex anyway. Its
just another lie they have you believe on the telly.
MORGAN:
Well Ive only got two on me, and youre not having
one.
NEIL:
Why, have you grown a second knob?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
20/38
20
MORGAN:
You know Im more ofa morning person.
NEIL:
Well it doesnt matter anyway cos I have no interestin getting laid and thats final. Right, as we having
more in here or moving on for one in the Brick?
MORGAN:
Im settled her now.
NEIL GOES TO THE BAR
NEIL:Can I have two more please?
BECK POURS THE PINTS. TWO YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE
GIRLS WALK IN AND STAND ACROSS FROM NEIL
ACROSS THE BAR, INSTANTLY CATCHING HIS
ATTENTION
BECK:
Four forty, please.
NEIL HANDS OVER A TEN POUND NOTE
NEIL:
Can I have my change in pound coins please?
3.
EXT. NIGHTCLUB QUEUE. NIGHT.
NEIL AND MORGAN ARE SLOWLY SHUFFLING
TOWARDS THE FRONT OF THE QUEUE.
MORGAN:
If you could give anybody a good slap without
reprisal, who would it be?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
21/38
21
NEIL:
What, apart from you? Er probably Terrence Trent
DArby.
MORGAN:Why?
NEIL:
Well hes got the most pretentious name in pop. What
about you?
MORGAN:
Well I was watching that Gok Wan on the telly the
other night, and it got me thinking.
NEIL:
About your sexuality?
MORGAN:
Piss off, our Gillian happened to have it on.
NEIL:
So did you get any fashion tips?
MORGAN:
It just had me thinking that, yknow he has all of
these big, fat birds on it. Well, its alright for him to
be telling them that theyre beautiful and all that
carry on.
NEIL:And?
MORGAN:
Well he can say what he wants. Hes not the one who
has to go out shagging em, is he?
SHORT SILENCE
NEIL:I suppose not.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
22/38
22
THE QUEUE MOVES FORWARD SO THAT NEIL AND
MORGAN ARE AT THE FRONT. THE TWO
RECOGNISE THE BOUNCER.
NEIL:Alright, Jacko?
JACKO:
Alright, boys. Hows it going?
MORGAN:
Not too bad, mate.
JACKO:Oh, I was sorry to hear about you and Jen, mate. Who
needs em, eh?
NEIL ISNTHAPPY
NEIL:
Cheers. Im hoping to find some answers tonight in
the bottom of a pint pot. How do you know anyway?
JACKO:
I clocked something about it on Facebook a couple of
days ago. You put a ring on a sausage or summat?
NEIL IS EMBARRASSED. MORGAN CHUCKLES.
MORGAN:
Smooth, eh?
JACKO LAUGHS
JACKO:
I know what youre going through, pal. I went
through the same thing a couple of months ago. Id
been my Jade for just over eighteen months when she
kicked me out of the house. Said I wasnt committed
to her enough or some other bollocks.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
23/38
23
NEIL:
Yeah, Jen said something similar. She actually
accused me of preferring spending my time in the
George with Morgan than having time at home with
her.
MORGAN:
Well thats true init?
NEIL:
Well, obviously. But I didnt want her knowing that,
did I?
JACKO:To be fair to Jade, I was shagging a couple of her
sisters at the time.
NEIL:
Bloody hell!
JACKO:
And a cousin I landed on my feet working here
anyway. You should see some of the fanny that goes
in. Some of em have legs longer than Gidlow Lane.
MORGAN:
Thats why were here. Im trying to find someone to
get Herr Bratwursts mind off Jen.
JACKO LAUGHS
JACKO:
Youre never gonna live that one down.
NEIL:
It appears not. How long have you been on the door
here then?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
24/38
24
JACKO:
Oh, just a couple of weeks since it opened. I used to
work the door of that gay place on the other side of
town. You know it?
NEIL:
Queens?
JACKO:
Yeah, but it isnt Queens anymore. Some of the more
flamboyant regulars, shall we say, started kicked up a
fuss that it was playing on negative stereotypes, so
they had to change it.
MORGAN:
Whats it called now then?
JACKO:
Fudge.
NEIL AND MORGAN STARE BLANKLY IN DISBELIEF
JACKO:
Maurice and Lindsay own it now. Yknow little
Maurice who used to own the Bookmakers Arms?
MORGAN:
Maurice and Linsday? You mean Mincing Maurice
has got himself a woman?
JACKO:Lindsay used to be Lionel.
MORE DISBELIEF FROM NEIL AND MORGAN
NEIL:
Well I suppose they dont call him the Queen of Clubs
for nothing.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
25/38
25
JACKO:
I was glad to get out. You couldnt have a minutes
peace. Some of the stuff I saw in those toilets only
George Michael would believe.
MORGAN ACKNOWLEDGES SOME OF THE GIRLS IN
THE QUEUE
MORGAN:
No wonder you climbed on here then.
JACKO:
Not bad, is it? I mean, you get the odd knobead, but
thats all part of the job. Its like a perverts viewinggallery most nights.
JACKO GETS A WORD FROM ANOTHER BOUNCER
JACKO:
Right, you can go in now. Just tell the girl on the door
that I said you get can in for nowt.
NEIL:
Nice one.
MORGAN:
Yeah, cheers mate. See you later.
THE FRONT OF THE QUEUE ENTERS THE CLUB
4.
INT. BUSY NIGHTCLUB. NIGHT.
NEIL AND MORGAN ADVANCE TO THE BAR WHILST
CHECKING OUT SOME OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN
ATTENDANCE.
MORGAN:
So what do you think then?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
26/38
26
NEIL:
What, apart from it being full of tossers whom Id
never normally associate myself with?
MORGAN:Yeah, apart from that?
NEIL:
Well at least Ive not clocked any Falklands veterans
yet.
LAUGHING, MORGAN TURNS TO THE BAR
MORGAN:Ill have two pints of your cheapest lager and two
shots of Sir Samuel Buca.
BARMAN:
White or black?
MORGAN:
Er, black.
NEIL:
Sambuca already? Its not even 11 oclock yet!
MORGAN:
Once you go black, theres no goin back! We might
as well get smashed as soon as so we can actually
enjoy ourselves amongst most of this shower.
THE BARMAN RETURNS AND MORGAN HANDS
OVER A TEN POUND NOTE
BARMAN:
Its eleven quid, pal.
MORGAN:
Eh? What?
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
27/38
27
BARMAN:
I said its eleven quid. Youve only given me a tenner.
MORGAN:
Jesus wept!
MORGAN FISHES IN HIS POCKET FOR CHANGE AND
HANDS OVER A POUND COIN
MORGAN:
I didnt realise we were suppin in that London!
NEIL AND MORGAN DOWN THEIR SHOTS AND
MOVE AWAY FROM THE BAR TO STAND AT A TALLTABLE
NEIL:
Youre hard pressed to get a pint anywhere under
three quid in most places now. Its just a blessing we
have the George.
MORGAN:
When I was sixteen and first started going the
George, I could get three pints and a bit of change out
of a fiver. All these bloody kids have ruined it now by
getting pissed before they come out and hardly
spending a penny meaning places have to charge to
whack.
NEIL:
Im pretty sure a pretentious cunt hives like thiswould charge top dollar regardless.
MORGAN:
I know, I know.
NEIL:
I do recall it was your idea to come here in the first
place. Its not like we both cant afford it anyway.
MORGAN:Its just the principle of it, yknow.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
28/38
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
29/38
29
MORGAN:
Its not like we both cant afford it anyway! Too late,
tight arse. Theyre both coming over now.
NEIL:Oh, for fucks
NEIL TURNS AROUND
NEIL:
(EXAGGERATING) Hello!
GEMMA:
Do you remember me?
NEIL:
Of course I do. Gemma, isnt it?
GEMMA:
Yeah!
NEIL:
Of course I remember you. I never forget a face, me! I
tutored you for a year, didnt I?
GEMMA:
Two years!
NEIL:
Wow, yeah. Two bloody years!
GEMMA:
This is my baby sister, Lucy.
MORGAN ACKNOWLEDGES THEM BOTH AND
BEGINS TO SPEAK TO LUCY ALONE
MORGAN:
Hi, Im Dan. Dan Morgan.
LUCY:Im Lucy.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
30/38
30
MORGAN:
You look beautiful tonight, Lucy.
LUCY:
Aw, thanks.
MORGAN:
Do you wanna leave these two to discuss
Shakespearian semantics and allow me to buy you a
drink?
LUCY NODS
LUCY:Definitely!
MORGAN AND LUCY HEAD TO THE BAR
NEIL:
So whats going on in your life now?
GEMMA:
I graduated from university last summer. With a first!
NEIL:
Well, congratulations!
GEMMA:
I totes didnt expect it!
NEIL:
What? Totes?
GEMMA:
Totally, silly!
NEIL:
Oh, right. Well it does help having a top tutor firmly
behind you!
GEMMA:You wish!
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
31/38
31
NEIL:
(FLUSTERED) I didnt mean it like that, honestly!
GEMMA:
Relax, I know! Im just winding you up. You weredefinitely the best tutor in college though. I dont
think Id have done so well in my exams if it wasnt
for your help, and I never did thank you for it.
GEMMA PECKS NEIL ON THE CHEEK
NEIL:
Just doing myjob, yknow! If only thanks was a four-
letter-word, eh?
CUT TO MORGAN AT THE BAR
BARMAID:
What can I get you?
MORGAN:
Im feeling supersonic!
BARMAID:
What?!
MORGAN:
I said Im feeling supersonic!
BARMAID:
I dont know what youre on about. Do you want adrink?
MORGAN:
Gin and tonic, please. (TO HIMSELF) Bloody kids!
BARMAID:
Single or double?
LUCY:Double!!
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
32/38
32
MORGAN MOUTHS SINGLE TO THE BARMAID. HE
TURNS ROUND AND NOTICES NEIL AND GEMMA
GETTING CLOSE
MORGAN:(TO LUCY) Those two look like theyre getting on
well.
LUCY:
She hasnt shut up about him since she laid eyes on
him tonight. Shes had a major thing for him since he
was her tutor.
THE BARMAID RETURNS
BARMAID:
Three fifty please.
MORGAN ISNT PLEASED BUT HANDS OVER A NOTE
LUCY:
Can you get me a straw too please? I dont want this
new lippy coming straight off.
MORGAN RECEIVES HIS CHANGE
MORGAN:
Can I get a straw too?
THE BARMAID PASSES MORGAN A STRAW
BARMAID:
Thats 10p.
MORGAN:
What?!
BARMAID:
Its 10p for a straw.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
33/38
33
MORGAN:
Are you fuckin joking?! Whos set the price list in
here, George Osbourne?!
BARMAID:Who?
MORGAN RELUCTANTLY HANDS OVER 10p AND
HEADS BACK TO NEIL
MORGAN:
(TO GEMMA) So are you two reminiscing about
school days?
GEMMA:
It was college actually!
NEIL:
Ignore him.
GEMMA:
Im just gonna nip to the loo. Will you watch out
drinks, Neil? Are you coming, Luce?
THE GIRLS HEAD FOR THE TOILET
MORGAN:
So what happened to not being able to chat up one of
your old students? She was all over you, mate.
NEIL:Have you seen her?! There was no chatting needed
anyway. Shes laying it on thicker than her sisters
makeup.
MORGAN:
Its not that bad. How old is her sister anyway?
NEIL:
Well Gemma must be about twenty-one, cos shes justgraduated. So Id say about eighteen or nineteen. She
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
34/38
34
did say she was her babysister! She might even be
younger. You know what Jackos like on the door.
Hed let anybody in, him, for a flash of leg.
MORGAN:Fucks sake. Im gonna have to suss this sharpish, or
else Ill end up on Saville Row.
THE GIRLS RETURN
MORGAN:
(TO LUCY) Did I tell you that I write for a music
magazine? What do you do?
LUCY IS SLIGHTLY STARTLED
LUCY:
Im only in my second year at college. A different one
to the one Gemma went to though.
MORGAN:
So youre eighteen?
LUCY:
Of course, why?
MORGAN LOOKS TOWARD NEIL AND IS VISIBLY
RELEIVED
MORGAN: Oh, its just that well Im going to a gig
tomorrow at the Tavern. I have to do a feature articleon one of the bands and I was wondering if you
wanted to come with me. Its strictly over-eighteens,
you see. Ill even get you in free on the guest list!
LUCY:
Cool, yeah!
LUCY LOOKS TO GEMMA, CLEARLY IMPRESSED
MORGAN WHISPERS INTO NEILS EAR
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
35/38
35
MORGAN:
Thank fuck for that!
NEIL:
I take it Ive been sacked off for tomorrow then?
MORGAN:
Sorry, mate. I had to think of something.
NEIL:
Ill live.
MONTAGE SEQUENCE:
CUT TO THE FOUR CHARACTERS DRINKING ANDDANCING.
CUT TO MORGAN RETURNING TO TABLE WITH A
TRAY OF DRINKS.
CUT TO NEIL AND GEMMA DRINKING OUT OF ONE
JUG WITH TWO STRAWS.
CUT TO MORGAN SITTING WITH HIS ARM
AROUND LUCY AS THEY TALK BUT MAKING SURE
THAT SHE KEEPS THE SAME STRAW FROM ONE
DRINK TO ANOTHER.
CUT TO THE GROUP DOWNING A ROUND OF
SHOTS AT THE BAR.
CUT TO A DISGRUNTLED NEIL STOOD OUTSIDE IN
A QUEUE AT A CASH MACHINE.
CUT TO MORGAN CHECKING LUCYS DRIVING
LICENSE JUST TO BE SURE.
CUT TO NEIL AND GEMMA DANCING ALONE.
CUT TO NEIL AND GEMMA KISSING ALONE IN ACORNER OF THE CLUB.
CUT TO CLOSE UP OF NEIL AND GEMMA.
GEMMA:
So are you gonna take me back to your place?
NEIL IS SURPRISED
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
36/38
36
NEIL:
Im gonnahave to be honest with you. Its a bit of a
long story, but Ive only just split up with my
girlfriend - well, ex-girlfriendand Ive had to move
back into me mams back bedroom this week. Its notreally an ideal place for taking you back to. I mean Id
love to and all that, but yknow, maybe another time
would be better.
GEMMA TRIES TO HIDE HER DISAPPOINTMENT
GEMMA:
Oh okay then. Did you put an engagement ring on
a sausage for your girlfriend?
NEIL IS VISIBLY SHOCKED
NEIL:
What?! How do you even
GEMMA:
Oh, I just saw something about it on Twitter the other
day. It was trending for a while locally. Ive been
dying to ask you all night if Im honest.
NEIL:
Is there anyone who doesnt know about it?!
GEMMA:
I guessed that youd be the only Neil Bakowski
around here. Dont worry about it. I glad you aresingle now, or else I wouldnt have had you all to
myself tonight.
GEMMA KISSES NEIL AGAIN
GEMMA:
If you cant take me home, then Ill make sure I sort
something out. I just need to speak with our Lucy.
Wait here.
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
37/38
37
5. EXT. BACK ALLEY. EARLY HOURS.
MORGAN AND LUCY ARE STROLLING DOWN THE
ALLEY ARM IN ARM.
MORGAN:
(SHOUTING) Come on, Neil. How long are you gonna
be, lad?
NEIL:
(UNSEEN) Just leave me alone. I wont be a minute.
MORGAN OFFERS LUCY A CIGERATTE AND THEY
LIGHT UP TOGETHER. AFTER A SHORT SILENCE,NEIL IS HEARD MAKING A GRUMBLING NOISE.
NEIL:
(UNSEEN): Right, Im ready now.
GEMMA STORMS FROM AROUND A CORNER OF
THE AN ADJOINING ALLEY WITH SEMEN BLINDING
HER IN ONE EYE, THOUGH THIS IS ONLY SEEN FOR
A SPLIT SECOND. SHE HEADS IN THE OPPOSITE
DIRECTION WITH LUCY.
GEMMA:
(SEEN FROM BEHIND) Come on, I have to get this off
me!
MORGAN CASUALLY TURNS AROUND
MORGAN:
(SHOUTING) See you tomorrow, Lucy!
NEIL APPEARS LOOKING VERY SHEEPISH. THEY
STROLL DOWN THE ALLEY AWAY FROM WHERE
GEMMA AND LUCY HAVE GONE.
MORGAN:
Oh yes!
-
8/11/2019 Friday Night and Saturday Morning
38/38
38
NEIL:
Whats up with you? I thought I was the one who was
supposed to be made up with some sneaky rebound
action?
MORGAN:
Fifty shades of gravy!
NEIL LAUGHS
NEIL:
Go on, you can have that one!
END.