Using Good Manners

Used with permission of Career Solutions Publishing

http://www.careersolutionspublishing.com

Using Good Manners

Using good manners is basically being nice to and considerate of others in communication. The ability to use good manners in the business world will be an asset for you in your future career.

This lesson will provide you with tips on using good manners.

Tips for Using Good Manners

The following are ten tips for using good manners:

1. Treat all people with respect.

2. Show deference to people of higher rank and to customers.

3. Shake hands when being introduced.

4. Pay close attention to people who are speaking with you.

5. Do not interrupt.

Tips for Using Good Manners

6. Make small talk when necessary.

7. Turn off cell phones during meetings and business-related social events.

8. Excuse yourself when you leave a meeting before it is over.

9. Do not pry.

10. Apologize when you make a mistake.

1. TREAT ALL PEOPLE WITH RESPECT

Treat everyone you work with as you would like to be treated yourself. This includes supervisors, co-workers, customers, suppliers and visitors. Demonstrate respect through your attitude, actions and words.

Some ways to show respect: Be fair in your dealings with everyone, no matter what their

position in the company. There is a saying, “Be careful how you treat people on your way up because you may meet them again on your way down.”

Never take advantage of others. Accept co-workers’ “sore spots.” As you get to know people, avoid topics that you know make them nervous or defensive.

Refrain from using bad language. Telling dirty jokes and using sexual language are unacceptable at work.

2. SHOW DEFERENCE TO PEOPLE OF HIGHER RANK AND TO CUSTOMERS

Courtesy includes showing special respect to supervisors and customers and to others who can aid your company. Though you may not agree with a decision or request, accept what you cannot change and show your support without grumbling. Stress may make you want to snap out at your boss or a customer who seems to be making unreasonable demands. Doing this, however, may lose a sale, cause office strife and endanger your career.

2. SHOW DEFERENCE TO PEOPLE OF HIGHER RANK AND TO CUSTOMERS

Some ways to show deference: Acknowledge a superior’s request with a positive

reply: “Yes, Mrs. Simpson.” Let superiors and customers pass first in a busy

hall. Open doors for people. Give your customers the best parking spaces. Ask what the other person prefers, instead of saying what you prefer.

3. SHAKE HANDS WHEN BEING INTRODUCED

Shaking hands is almost universal in the business world. By shaking hands, you imply, “You are worth knowing. I want to meet you.”

3. SHAKE HANDS WHEN BEING INTRODUCED

Points to remember about a handshake: Even if left handed, always shake with the right hand. Grip firmly, but without too much pressure. Try to

match the grip the other person is using. Avoid “bone crusher” grips; this is not a contest of strength.

Overcome limp, “cold fish” handshakes. The handshake is a formal greeting that communicates your level of confidence.

In Japan, a slight bow may be preferred to a handshake. It often is best to let someone from another country make the first move.

4. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO PEOPLE WHO ARE SPEAKING WITH YOU

Anyone speaking likes to be the center of attention at that moment. Show them the courtesy of listening.

Ways to show you are paying attention Keep your gaze on the person talking, rather than allowing

your eyes to wander around the room. However, avoid an intense stare.

Nod and make simple affirmative responses: “Right,” “I see.”

Don’t use pauses in the conversation to bring up irrelevant comments.

Ask short questions that show you are listening and would like more information.

Avoid shuffling your feet or look nervous.

5. DO NOT INTERRUPT

Interrupting a person who is talking or butting into someone else’s conversation is extremely rude, unless there is an urgent matter or an emergency. It can make you unwelcome, even in situations where your work is excellent or your input would be useful.

5. DO NOT INTERRUPT

If you feel that you must say something while someone else is talking:

In a meeting or conference, jot a note about a comment you’d like to add and wait for the speaker to finish.

During a conversation, if an important matter requires immediate attention, say “Excuse me,” or “Sorry to interrupt, but…”

With people who talk non-stop and never give you a chance to break in, raise your hand or index finger to shoulder level to catch their attention.

6. MAKE SMALL TALK WHEN NECESSARY

Office conversation can’t always be – and shouldn’t always be – confined to “important” matters. Talking about the small details of daily life helps co-workers get to know each other better. However, small talk should be brief so conversations can move on to discussions about work.

6. MAKE SMALL TALK WHEN NECESSARY

Here are some examples of small talk:

“What’s a good type of potted plant to grow in my sunny window?”

“I certainly hope we don’t have that transit strike. Getting to work would just be awful.”

“If we have another day of this rain, I’m going to go crazy.”

“I think the transmission in my car is dead. Do you know a good repair shop?”

7. TURN OFF CELL PHONES DURING MEETINGS AND BUSINESS-RELATED SOCIAL EVENTS

Cell phones are one of the major improvements to personal communication of recent years. However, allowing them to ring during meetings or taking calls when you are socializing with your co-workers is simply another for of interrupting.

7. TURN OFF CELL PHONES DURING MEETINGS AND BUSINESS-RELATED SOCIAL EVENTS

How to deal with urgent calls:

Tell your group in advance, “I may have to take a call from my daughter’s doctor. I’ll try to make it brief.”

If your cell phone is equipped with a vibrating announcer, turn this on in place of the ringer and excuse yourself with a brief explanation if the call comes through.

Move into another room if possible to take an emergency call, or at least move away from the conversation area and talk as quietly as possible.

8. EXCUSE YOURSELF WHEN YOU LEAVE A MEETING BEFORE IT IS OVER

Leaving a meeting before it is over draws attention to you and can communicate a negative message. Other participants will wonder what you have to do that is so important you can’t finish the meeting with them.

8. EXCUSE YOURSELF WHEN YOU LEAVE A MEETING BEFORE IT IS OVER

To ease the situation:

Announce (briefly) when and why you must leave at the beginning of the meeting so your departure won’t be a surprise.

Have any materials you need to take with you ready to go so that you don’t disrupt the meeting with a flurry of activity.

Ask a co-worker to take notes of any important matters that come up after you leave.

If there is a natural pause a few minutes before you must leave, say something like “I have to leave at 3:45. Is there anything I should know before I go?”

9. DO NOT PRY

Being curious is acceptable, but prying into something that is none of your business is taboo in business situations.

When people want you to have information, they will provide it or give clues that the subject is okay to talk about. Until then, don’t ask for personal or confidential information. A topic that you feel comfortable sharing may be “off limits” to someone else.

9. DO NOT PRY

Situations that involve prying can include: Asking about promotions, demotions or employee

ratings. Trying to discover information about someone’s

health or marital problems. Attempting to uncover a person’s political,

religious or social beliefs if not freely offered. Reading material on others’ desks or computer

screens.

10. APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE

Admitting an error can be difficult, especially when the boss is glowering at you. However, properly delivered, your apology helps build trust. It shows that you are honest, aware of your mistake and willing to learn from it.

10. APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU MAKE A MISTAKE

Ways to handle an apology:– When possible, admit your error before it is discovered by

someone else.– Go beyond a simple “I’m sorry.” Ask for tips on how to

avoid a similar situation in the future.– If you need to describe how the mistake occurred, explain,

but don’t try to justify it.– Take as a learning experience any criticism that follows

your apology.– Be sincere in your apology without acting like a beaten dog.

Keep your dignity.

Using Good Manners Practice

The following pages will let you practice the topics discussed in this lesson.

On the next pages, you will see a series of statements. For each statement, select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

If people give you attitude, give it back to them.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

If people give you attitude, give it back to them.

o FALSEo You should always treat people with respect

even if they have not treated you respectfully. Treat others as you want to be treated.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

In most situations, you should accept criticism without grumbling, even if you think the criticism is unfair.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

In most situations, you should accept criticism without grumbling, even if you think the criticism is unfair.

o TRUEo You should not grumble when criticized. You

should view criticism as a positive learning opportunity.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Always try to shake hands with a firmer grip than the other person.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

Always try to shake hands with a firmer grip than the other person.

o FALSEo While you should shake hands with a

firm grip, you should try to grip with the same strength as the other person.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Tell someone who is talking too much to be quiet.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

Tell someone who is talking too much to be quiet.

o FALSEo You should never be rude and tell

another person to be quiet.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

You should never interrupt, even for an urgent message.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

You should never interrupt, even for an urgent message.

o FALSEo There are situations, such as an

emergency, when you should interrupt a presentation.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Small talk can often make people feel more comfortable.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

Small talk can often make people feel more comfortable.

o TRUEo Small talk can “break the ice” with others and

lead to further discussion.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Move away from other people if you must take an emergency cell phone call.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

Move away from other people if you must take an emergency cell phone call.

o TRUEo Cell phone etiquette includes moving

away from others while taking a call.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Ask someone to take notes for you if you leave a meeting early.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

Ask someone to take notes for you if you leave a meeting early.

o TRUEo It is appropriate to ask others to take

notes for you if you must leave a meeting early.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

If you don’t know what your co-workers are doing, check out the papers on their desks.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

If you don’t know what your coworkers are doing, check out the papers on their desks.

o FALSEo You should maintain or respect your co-

workers’ privacy and not check out papers on their desks.

Using Good Manners Practice

Select “True” if the statement shown is true, or “False” if the statement is false.

Try to hide your mistakes and hope nobody notices.

o TRUEo FALSE

Using Good Manners Practice

Try to hide your mistakes and hope nobody notices.

o FALSEo In order to maintain your integrity you

should admit your mistakes promptly.

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Imagine that one of your co-workers is having health problems that keep him from work several days a month. While you are curious about his condition, you also feel bad for him and would like to help him catch up on his work

Think about how you would approach the person to volunteer your help, without seeming to pry into his personal health.

Write three questions you could ask to get a conversation started.

Using Good Manners Summary

To be successful at work, you must use good manners. Being nice and considerate to your customers and co-workers or, as they say, “treating others as you would like to be treated” is a good starting point.

Using Good Manners Summary

1. Treat all people with respect.

2. Show deference to people of higher rank and to customers.

3. Shake hands when being introduced.

4. Pay close attention to people who are speaking with you.

5. Do not interrupt.

6. Make small talk when necessary.

7. Turn off cell phones during meetings and business-related social events.

8. Excuse yourself when you leave a meeting before it is over.

9. Do not pry.

10. Apologize when you make a mistake.

Here is a summary of tips for using good manners: