funeral and estate planning
DESCRIPTION
No one likes to think of their own mortality, but with a little pre-planning, you can ensure your loved ones are taken care of. Learn about new techniques, new options, and some good adviceTRANSCRIPT
BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICKSPECIAL SECTIONS WRITER
When Gary Smith, owner of Brookings-
Smith Funeral Home, entered the funeral
business in the late 1950s, things were very
different. But one thing hasn’t changed.
“Whether it was 50 years ago or whether
it’s today, in my opinion, death is a very
sacred and awesome event,” he said. “It’s just
a matter of how people respond to that.”
In 1950s, planning ahead was rarely con-
sidered. If a loved one died, the family visited
the funeral director to choose a casket from a
fairly limited selection, and then to a monu-
ment company to pick a headstone, also
from a fairly limited selection. The funeral
happened quickly.
“It was pretty automatic: Who are we
going to have for a clergy person, and what
about the traditions and the values of the
family?” Smith recalled.
That was already a dramatic change from
55 years before that. At the turn of the 20th
century, everything happened at home,
including caring for sick or elderly loved
ones. When someone died, the undertakers
came to the home with their equipment,
set up portable tables in the bedroom, and
did the embalming right there. Funeral
services were at home, either in the bed-
room or, for those houses so equipped, in
the parlor. When it was over, the undertaker
placed the body in a casket, loaded it onto a
horse-drawn hearse, and conveyed it to the
cemetery for burial.
Ongoing ChangesBy the 1950s, only about half of funerals
were done that way; the rest were at funeral
homes. Today, funerals rarely happen at
home, and embalming never does. Part of
this is logistical: Many people live in rental
properties, and houses rarely have parlors.
Another part is cultural: People just don’t
want their loved ones embalmed and dis-
played at home.
The prevalence of cremations has changed
dramatically. When Smith started in the
1950s, he handled just one or two cremations
per year. But in 2012, 64 percent of Brook-
ings-Smith funerals were cremations. Accord-
ing to the Cremation Association of North
America, this is up from a national average
of just 15 percent in 1985, and should hit 75
percent before leveling off.
Despite the functional changes over the
years, Smith said that one thing has remained
consistent: the way funeral homes deal with
the living, whether with grieving families or
with those planning their own funerals.
“We really have an awesome responsibility
to meet these needs, and we have one time
to do it — we’ve got to do it right the fi rst
time,” he said. “The idea is to be able to try to
put something together that’s meaningful to
everybody.”
Compared to when Smith started in the
business 55 years ago, preparing for a funeral
today is full of far more options. There are
many more casket, monument, and urn op-
tions, and there are many varied ways loved
ones can memorialize the departed — every-
thing from photos laser-engraved on stones
to jewelry containing bits of cremated re-
mains to part of your loved one being made
into a diamond. Yet while all these options
2 BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013
FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING 2013
Funerals (and funeral homes) continue changing with the times
See CHANGES, PAGE 7
BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013 3
FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING
BY TRACY J. ROBERTSRUDMAN WINCHELL
As a working mother, I completely under-
stand how busy life can get. You realize that
you need an estate plan to manage your affairs
if something happens to you, but fi nding the
time to actually think about and develop a
plan gets lost in the whirlwind of a day.
Of course, we have all heard about the
online legal-document services that offer
you inexpensive estate-planning documents.
Online document services offer a tempting
bargain. Unfortunately, most people don’t
realize what they are getting themselves into
with an online document service. That’s
because the online document services have
spent millions trying to create the impression
that their services are similar to those of an
attorney. They put lawyers in their commer-
cials, hire celebrities to endorse them, and
even promote stories of people who have
successfully used their documents.
All the marketing in the world, however,
can’t erase the simple truth. The online ser-
vices are not law fi rms. They are not lawyers.
They can’t give legal advice. Instead, they are
“document assistants” — a term that states
use to defi ne service providers who type your
information into generic form documents.
In other words, document assistants are
like robots that enter your information into
forms, whether or not it makes sense and
whether or not it is a good idea. If you make
a mistake, they can’t warn you. If you have
questions, they can’t help you. They can’t
even promise you that your estate plan will
work in the way you envision it. They are not
attorneys, which means they can’t promise a
particular legal result.
This is why I am so excited to be a part of
Rudman Winchell’s new online estate plan-
ning service. By using our online service you
get the ease of using an online tool to create
your estate plan, with the assurances that
an attorney is reviewing your documents.
So, how does this service work? There is a
simple questionnaire that, depending on
your circumstances, takes about 30 minutes
to complete. Once you submit the question-
naire, our offi ce prepares draft estate plan-
ning documents (Will, Power of Attorney,
Advance Health-Care Directive), and your
estate plan is reviewed by one of our estate
planning attorneys. We then email or mail
you drafts for your review. Once the docu-
ments are to your satisfaction, a meeting is
scheduled with either me or another estate
planning attorney in our offi ce to review
your documents to ensure you understand
how your estate plan works and to sign the
documents.
We think you will fi nd this service to be
an easy, convenient and affordable way to
give your family security and peace of mind.
For more information, please visit our Estate
Planning Web site at:
onlinelegal.rudmanwinchell.com.
Rudman Winchell offers Maine’s fi rst estate planning Web site
4 BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013
FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING 2013
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BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICKSPECIAL SECTIONS WRITER
Not too many years ago, choosing a head-
stone was an easy task. Unless you were very
rich, you picked from a few stones and gave
the correct spelling of your departed loved
one’s name. Birth and death dates went with
it, and the stonecarver chiseled everything
out and set it in the cemetery. There wasn’t
much variety, but that’s no longer the case.
“What’s really changed in the last 20 years
is before it was basically standardized monu-
ments and memorials,” said A. Michael Regan
of Custom Memorial Designs in Old Town.
“Now it’s more customization. We’re able to
a lot more on a stone than we were able to do
20 years ago.”
Think about it: with the right software, you
can quickly put together party invitations
on your computer, adding clipart, changing
fonts, and choosing colors. Although that
came a bit later to the monument business,
that’s how it’s done today. With specialized
software, a monument company can take you
through everything from font choice and im-
ages to whether you want to add laser-etched
photos and even color. Regan’s software even
shows you what your chosen stone and lay-
out will look like in the cemetery. There’s no
guesswork, and customers know exactly what
they’re getting.
While sandblasting letters is nothing new,
laser etching has transformed the monument
industry. Elegant, intricately designed head-
stones can be purchased for surprisingly low
prices, lending far more than just a name and
dates to memorialize the departed. You can
do any image you can imagine: intertwined
wedding rings for a married couple, a photo
of the deceased etched in black granite, or a
Red Sox logo for a lifelong fan.
This is quite different than it used to
be. Not long ago, monument companies
sketched names, dates, and layouts on paper,
with no way to foresee the exact, fi nal ver-
sion. Today, with “what you see is what you
get” computer design, not only are the per-
sonalization options endless, but the process
is as exactly what you expect. But taking the
Monuments for the departed have become truly monumental
Continued on next page
BANGOR DAILY NEWS PHOTOS BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICK
Left: A. Michael Regan of Custom Memorial Designs demonstrates the design process, which allows for complete customizing and visualization. Right: Chuck
Downes of Bucksport Monuments & Sandblasting removes letters from a rubber mask in preparation for sandblasting the letters’ shapes out of the stone.
BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013 5
FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING
time to create it is important, Regan said.
“What we tell families is don’t just im-
mediately design a monument, because that
becomes the focal point,” he said. “Every time
you go back to the cemetery, this is what you
see. You really want that to be as unique as the
person, so take some time to think about it.”
Options abound. If you’d like to add color,
laser etching can produce color scenery. For
long-lasting color, you can print and seal pho-
tos on ceramic plates that are mounted fl ush
with the stone. Basically, these days, you can
imagine it, monument designers can do it.
New things are on the horizon. Already
catching on are ceramic QR codes mounted
on the granite. Just like any QR code, scanning
it with a cell phone takes you to a designated
Web site — such as to a life-tribute Web page.
“The artistry… allows a family to create
that really unique monument that’s as unique
as the person they’re trying to idolize,” said
Regan. “It allows us to really create something
unique — so you go into the cemetery and
not every stone looks alike. It also becomes
therapeutic for families that really want to
design something meaningful.”
Chuck Downes, owner of Bucksport
Monuments & Sandblasting, says that with
all the customizability and uniqueness in the
industry, the one thing that monument com-
panies need customers to do is to come in
early and plan their monuments — instead
of waiting for the family to deal with it when
they’re gone.
“There are so many options, and people
who are grieving — they don’t want [to face]
a million options,” he said. “That’s why we
really try to promote pre-planning for head-
stones. It’s just a smart decision. It saves the
family a lot of grief.”
Downes does the same sort of on-screen
design, and he says the best time to do it is
long before your family has to worry about it.
“If people can come in here, order the
stone they want, design it the way they want
to, make payments on it if they want to —
that saves the family one less decision they
have to make in a time of grieving,” he said.
But there’s something beyond the cost and
the diffi culty of mourning families having to
make those choices: a bit of immortality.
“I just can’t emphasize enough how impor-
tant it is to pre-plan,” Downes said. “Without
that memorial, you will be forgotten. It’s that
simple. I want my great-great-great grand-
children, if they want to fi nd me, to [be able
to] come put a hand on my stone.”
For the immediate generation following a
loved one’s death, he says there’s something
powerful about having that tangible thing,
too — which really touches the heart.
Continued from previous page
See MONUMENTS, PAGE 6
BANGOR DAILY NEWS PHOTOS BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICK
Left: Intricate carvings on a stone at CustomMemorial Designs in Old Town. Center: Chuck Downes, owner of Bucksport Monuments & Sandblasting, with a stone
featuring such carvings on the angled edge. Right: The stone depicts a white angel and a black heart, but it’s all black granite. The polished fi nish makes “black”
granite black; etch, sandblast, or carve out of it, and the resulting much lighter stone offers stark contrast so as to appear black and white.
6 BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013
FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING
BY NATHANIEL S. PUTNAM, ESQ.EATON PEABODY
There have been some important changes to both the federal estate
and the Maine estate tax over the past several months. From an estate
planning standpoint, it is important to consider how these changes
might affect you.
The estate tax is imposed on the transfer of wealth from one generation
to the next. If you live or own property in Maine, you need to consider
the potential impact of both the federal estate tax and the Maine estate
tax. The federal and Maine estate taxes are separate, but they are based
on the same rules and legal principals. For example, under both tax laws,
each individual can leave assets to their heirs and benefi ciaries with a
value up to a maximum threshold without owing any estate taxes. This is
often called the “individual estate tax exclusion” or simply the “exclusion
amount.”
The federal estate tax exclusion amount for 2013 is $5.25 million
(subject to infl ationary adjustments). The expiration of a temporary
estate tax law at the end of 2012 resulted in the federal exclusion
amount falling to $1 million. This would have meant that the estate
of any person who was worth more than $1 million at the time of
his or her death would have owed a federal estate tax payment equal
to 55 percent on the excess over $1 million. Fortunately, on January
2, 2013, Congress and the Obama administration agreed to reinstate
the $5 million federal exclusion amount on a permanent basis. Under
current law, if a person’s estate is worth more than this amount, the
excess is subject to the federal estate tax at a rate of 40 percent.
The Maine estate tax exclusion
amount is $2 million. This represents
an increase from the $1 million Maine
exclusion amount that had been in effect
prior to January 1, 2013. Any excess over
$2 million is subject to the Maine estate
tax based on a graduated rate structure
(8 percent on the excess over $2 million
up to $5 million; 10 percent on the ex-
cess over $5 million up to $8 million; 12
percent on the excess over $8 million).
While you may not think these
amounts apply to you, your net worth for estate tax purposes may
be higher than you think. The estate tax is imposed on your “taxable
estate” which includes any assets in which you have an interest at the
time of your death. These include your home, any other real estate
you own, bank and brokerage accounts, assets held in 401(k) plans
and IRAs, and the proceeds from life insurance policies you own that
are payable upon your death.
If you believe you may ultimately be subject to estate taxes, the
good news is that a modest amount of planning can minimize or, in
many cases, eliminate any estate tax liability. Particularly if you have
not reviewed your estate plan in several years, you should consult with
a competent estate planning attorney or other qualifi ed tax profes-
sional to determine how these changes may affect you.
Nathaniel Putnam, Esq. is the Chair of Eaton Peabody’s Estate Plan-
ning and Wealth Transfer practice.
Do recent estate tax changes affect you? MONUMENTS FROM PAGE 5
“When I go visit my relatives that have
passed, when I’m talking to them or praying,
my hand is on the stone,” Downes said. “It’s
like they’re there, whereas if there was no
stone, there’s nothing to be remembered by.”
Even if you plan to be cremated and have
your ashes spread somewhere, Downes says it
can be important to have that everlasting stone
inscribed with your name just so you loved
ones can make that connection with you.
“Mourning is hard enough as it is,” said
Downes. “To have a nice, quiet place where
you can go and just read a name and see an
image on a stone — it really helps in the heal-
ing process.”
BANGOR DAILY NEWS PHOTO BY DAVID M. FITZPATRICK
A stone with a laser-etched color image at
Bucksport Monuments & Sandblasting
Nathan Putnam
are great, it can make for an overwhelming
array of choices for a grieving family in just
a few days.
Meanwhile, family and friends frequently
have to come in from out of town. A lot has
to happen quickly, and the funeral home has
to support the family to make it happen —
and happen on everyone’s busy schedules.
It’s the difference, Smith says, in our modern
world of convenience: We have a lot going
on, and although we must grieve the loss of a
loved one, life for us must still continue.
“For many years… the services were tra-
ditional, based on traditions in the family or
in the church — and when a death occurred,
their world stopped,” Smith said. “That’s no
longer the case.”
That’s not a bad thing, he says; it’s just the
time we live in. Families are more dispersed,
with children living all over the country and
beyond. That three-day period from death
until burial has become a fl eeting window at
a time when grieving families least need to be
rushed.
Family InvolvementPre-planning is the way alleviate these
troubles. You can pick your own casket, urn,
monument, or other amenities, and even
plan your service. You’ll have things how
you want them, and you can involve your
loved ones at an easier time. But regardless
of advanced planning, these days the family
is going to likely handle your funeral very
differently than a few decades ago.
“Family involvement is necessary; I think
it’s therapeutic,” Smith said. “What they seem
to want to make it today is an expression of
the life of that person — more personalized
than it used to be.”
Everyone views a departed loved one
differently, and it’s important that every-
one can help celebrate the life of that loved
one. Families typically display photos today,
something that wasn’t common even 30 years
ago. Today, it’s usual to see screens displaying
photos and videos, and everyone participates
in the celebration of life. From the happy
moments in life to the more mundane events,
people want to share the moments that mat-
tered to them.
“When you can see that expressed at a
service, it’s really meaningful,” Smith said.
“What Dad meant to us or to the grand-
children [are] important times, and they’re
things that we take so much for granted.
Going to the dump, to the grocery store —
nothing really substantive, but it’s just those
little things that happen in the life of a family
that’s so important, and they want to share
that when a death occurs.”
Smith said there are always new things
coming about, and funeral homes have to
embrace them all in order to properly serve
the customer — even if it’s something his
funeral home doesn’t offer.
“I see nothing wrong with that if that’s
what meets their need,” he said. “I mean that
from the bottom of my heart. If that’s what’s
important and meaningful to them, that’s the
way to do it.”
What hasn’t changed is how funeral homes
handle things.
“Compassion. Consideration,” Smith said.
“Customer comes fi rst.”
And when Smith says “Customer comes
fi rst,” he doesn’t sound like a big-box store
parroting something out of its handbook.
He says it with the deepest sincerity, and
with a look in his eyes that tells you that
he’s talking about an absolutely sacred duty.
That’s how any funeral home should be
treating the people they serve, Smith says —
and that’s been a constant for as long as he
can remember.
“It’s no different today than it was then; it’s
just a different way of working with them,” he
said. “I feel we’ve got far more responsibility
today than we ever did.”
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FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING
CHANGES FROM PAGE 2
8 BDN MAINE SPECIAL SECTION • BANGORDAILYNEWS.COM • March 14, 2013
FUNERAL AND ESTATE PLANNING