gab! october 2011

36
EXCLUSIVE ZACH IS BACK! Bonnie’s Semi-Secret Addiction! DALE & MILA How He Stole Her Heart! MICAH’S MELTDOWN On-Set Upset! October, 2011 ISSUE 4 Zach’s return to B-Town: • The wife • The fame • The ministry YEARLY

Upload: gab-magazine

Post on 23-Mar-2016

218 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

DESCRIPTION

Parody gossip magazine for Bryn Athyn, PA

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: GAB! October 2011

EXCLUSIVE

ZACH IS BACK!

Bonnie’sSemi-Secret Addiction!

DALE & MILA

How He Stole Her Heart!

MICAH’S MELTDOWN

On-Set Upset!

October, 2011ISSUE 4

Zach’s return to B-Town: • The wife• The fame• The ministry

Y E A R L Y

Page 2: GAB! October 2011

2 October 2011

Who Wore It Best?GAB! asked 100 people in line at the AllWays Café.

STREET SCENE

WillowOrthwein27%

DerekRose1%

Get the look! Spring, Willow, and Derek are wearing Vulture Bait by RoadKiller: $14,999.

Spring Silverman

71%

INSIDE SCOOP: When PETA found

out the stars of the movie Highway Flats

were going to walk the red carpet in fur,

protestors were on the scene with paint

in their balloons and animal love in their

hearts. Everything died down when the

actors’ agents explained the vests were

from Diesel’s 100% vegetarian line.

Page 3: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 3

VEGETARIAN FURS ™

RoadKiller ®—where luxury fur meets trucker chic.Every article of clothing is made from the fur of an animal who has already met a rubbery, gravelly end, so the pieces are totally unique, totally vegetarian, and totally sustainable.

Our new line is also seasonal. It’s up to Mother Nature and Father Interstate whether we create Squirrelly Scarves, Coonskin Cardigans, Deer-in-the-headlights Denim, House Cat Hoodies, or Awesome Opossum Overalls.

Bobcat Booties

Vulture Bait Vest

Page 4: GAB! October 2011

KristinLindsay56%

Lea Michelle14%

GLITTER GIRLS! The Glee star rocked Brian Lichtenberg at her 29th b-day bash in Las Vegas. Clara sparkled at her charity event in L.A.

ClaraOdhner86%

RED CARPET

Who Wore It Best?GAB! asked some people at Bryn Athyn Thrift Shop.

Aria let her Stella McCartney outfit shine, while Naomi’s stuffy jacket stifled her look.

Hilary’s pink shoes were too distracting, whereas Jenica’s aqua gloves offset her outfit perfectly.

Naomi Watts

23%

Jenica Andic

74%

Hilary Swank

26%

AriaCarter

77%

Page 5: GAB! October 2011

Seafoamshave gel

Ingredients in most

shaving cream:

Water, Stearic Acid, Isobutane,

Polyoxyethylene Sorbitan

Monostearate, Lanolin, Laureth-23,

Fragrance, Propane, Sodium Lauryl

Sulfate, Triethanolamine, Isopentane,

Glycerin, Butane, Butylated

Hydroxytoluene.

Ingredients in Seafoam:

Mother Nature, Manliness.

Smooth as the ocean's bottom.

Page 6: GAB! October 2011

BEST DRESSES

A NIGHTto SHINE

SASHASILVERMAN

in Donna KarenCouture

The Best Supporting Extra on a Set nominee hit the red carpet

in layers of scarlet and 85 carats of Chopard diamonds.

MELISSAKLOC

in Oscar de la RentaIn a champagne tulle gown with gold

paillette embroidery, the comedian pulls off a look that her hair stylist Marguerite

Herder calls “Romance a la 1991.”

SANDRA BULLOCK

in MarchesaSandra’s sleek tresses match her fitted,

sequined gown. The actress’ lipstick adds the perfect pop of pink to her

monochromatic ensemble.

WITH COLORFUL GOWNS AND PERFECT POSTURE, THESE STARS SWEPT UP THE RED CARPET COMPETITION

Page 7: GAB! October 2011

BRIENNE LERMITTE

in Monique LhuillierThis fashion photographer is just as good in front of the camera as she is behind it. Confident in her understated elegance,

Brienne rocks a classic black dress.

ALISONCHILDS

in Zuhair MurhadThe host steals the show in a dramatic

1920’s-inspired gown. Perfectly draped layers fall to the floor,

dripping with sequins, and a belt pulls everything together.

MAGGIEGYLLENHAAL

in handpainted Dries van Noten

Mags commissioned this custom dress, asking van Noten to create a look inspired

by a butterfly on a pond at night.

Page 8: GAB! October 2011

A DAY WITH MY DADDYThese famous youngsters love spending time with Dad!RAD

DADS

DADDY’S GIRLBAREFOOT BUDDIES!

SPITTIN’ IMAGE

8 October 2010

When Derek Smith spends an afternoon with daughters Scarlett and Windsor, footwear is optional.*

*The Smith sisters are not eligible for the Heart & Sole shoe donation project, since they do in fact own shoes.

Cousin Country star Pehri Rhodes shares the piercing blue gaze and dusky blue shirt of daddy Luke.

Ainsley Odhner cozied up to papa Chad after enjoying a family concert at the Bryn Athyn Bounty Farm Market.

Page 9: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 9

[ ]theory of relativity

hosannaODHNER

colinFIRTH

joralynECHOLS

The only thing faster than light

is love.

T his August, dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker Laura Gladish was

sighted at a Bryn Athyn Bounty Farm Market, blending right in with the country-folk. Though her cool exterior suggests that she loves the city, she was seen standing in a field of dirt and plants, admiring chickens and talking to grandmothers and young children. “It’s an embarrassment that any New Yorker would deign to stand near natural dirt. It’s not like city grime, it’s much fowler,” says fellow New Yorker Jon Stewart. Laura released a statement claiming to be “as loyal a New Yorker as I ever was,” and adding, “I have no plans to move to Bryn Athyn within the next few weeks.”

LAURA GLADISH

A Life of Lies

OFFICIAL SELECTION

BA BACKYARDFILM FESTIVAL

OFFICIAL PHILADELPHIA

WOODED ‘BURBSFILM FESTIVAL

WINNER!AUDIENCE AWARD

C & S CLUB FILM FESTIVAL

GAB! POLL

Soni Werner on a Hog: SHOULD SHE START A BA BIKER GANG?

80%SAID YES

Is Laura’s love of the city a sham?

GAB ! 9

Page 10: GAB! October 2011

10 October 2011

Who Dylan OdhnerHometown BA, PAOn his valiant steed “I’m on a horse.” Still single! After his nomination as Most Eligible Bachelor, fans expected Dylan to snag a girl, but the final unhitched O-Bro remains on the market and looking for love, unconfirmed sources report.

Who Gwyneth PaltrowHometown LA, CAOn naming her children “With Apple, it was hard to decide; we considered lots of options, including Gourd, Huckleberry, and Paw Paw.”Birthday Bash The Oscar-winning actress celebrated her 39th birthday in September with a blowout bash in New York City.

Wayne Parker’s recent cover incited angst

from jealous bagpipers who disbelieved the

musician could really play while standing in a sub-zero Canadian lake.

SPECIAL ISSUE: BEST OF ROCK 2011

Photo RockTHE SUMMER TOUR:

CHICAGO, NEW YORK, PHILADELPHIA, KEMPTON

THEIR NEW ALBUM: ALONE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES

OF BRYN ATHYN

WHO’S IN & WHO’S OUT

WHO WILL BE MOST

ROMANTICBOYFRIENDDAVE KEITH &

DEREK ROSE

SQUARE OFF

THE BLACK KEYS

RABBIT CITY

DALE ZECHER

LATEST TREND: HORSE-FLIPPING!

Dylan OdhnerVoted Most Eligible Bachelor in the WorldGET THE DETAILS

Former gymnast Kelsie Odhner has

been flipping horses for a profit

READ HER STORY

Erika Jewell’s wedding vows

EXCLUSIVE

HORSE&HOUNDWho Rachel GardamHometown KemptonOn her new man “He makes me pancakes.”Strikingly similar! Rachel’s fans have noticed that she and filmmaker sweetheart, Chris Lewis have identical coiffures. Their hairstylist refused to comment.

This year’s cover stars ranged from glam to goofy. Jonathan Rose discusses fashion changes and Rachel Gardam talks breakfast.

COVER STARS

Who Jonathan RoseHometown Bryn AthynOn his new role as arm candy “Yes, I’ve had to spend a bit more time on my hair recently.”Goofy Grandpa! Since the birth of grandson Pehr, Jonathan’s been spending more time with the fam.

Grandpa Jo-Ro loves spending time with

baby Pehr.

Page 11: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 11

Full Page Ad

HAIL TO YOUR DICTATORWED 6 | SUN 2

ULTIMATE by Baird

COLOGNE FOR THE

ULTIMATE PLAYER

Page 12: GAB! October 2011

12 October 2011

SEASIDE ROMANCERumor has it Zach and Yesenia are considering purchasing an island off the coast of New Jersey!

Love Marriage

TRUE LOVE?Some local Bryn Athynites still don’t believe Yesenia is real, saying that if Zach wanted to make the story more believable, he should have made it less romantic.

&

Page 13: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 13

Zach Walter, voted Best Teeth and Most Likely to Leave Bryn Athyn and Never Look Back, has returned to his old stomping grounds. Here to

pursue a Masters of Divinity, Zach has not returned empty-handed. In October 2010, Zach married Yesenia Adame, internationally renowned salsa dancer, actress, and model. The romantic ceremony took place on the immaculate estate of a Major General near Los Angeles, California.

So why did Zach trade in his Blue Dress and sabre for a white robe and stoll? Rumors abound, but reliable sources close to the couple told GAB!

that Zach is still fully employed by the U.S. Marine Corps, working for a special division whose purpose is to investigate cults. Bryn Athyn has been on the armed forces’ radar for quite some time, but they had not been able to infiltrate the Swedenborgian Bubble...until now.

Zach and Yesenia have been spotted going in and out of the Willow Grove Air Force Base, but GAB! reporters were refused entry due to lack of credentials. (Stay tuned for developments on this front, once GAB! editors have had a chance to work on the as-yet-uncooperative, retired Lt. Col. Greg Rose).

Zach isn’t the only one with big Bryn Athyn plans—Yesenia has her own agenda. Using her experience on Dancing with the Stars, Yesenia is looking to produce a spinoff: Dancing with the Ministers. “I thought Bryn Athyn’s Next Top Minister [which premiered on YouTube last March] was genius. As soon as Zach and I arrived in Bryn Athyn, I knew exactly what this town needed: another reality show!”

STEPPING IT UPDancing With the Ministers is scheduled to air in 2012. Due to a surprising lack of enthusiasm from the pool of potential contestants, Yesenia opened it up to theologs. “It was the best decision I made,” gushes Yesenia. “Chris Barber can rumba with the best of them, and now Andy Dibb is considering adding a dance class to the curriculum!”

CENTER STAGETo keep in step with his bride during their first dance, Zach purchased Dance, Dance, Revolution before the wedding.

ZACH’S BACK!

Chris Barber

Page 14: GAB! October 2011

14 October 2011

TRENDWATCH!

INSIDE SCOOP!These ladies may look sweet, but they were both asked to leave the soccer game when the ref’s whistle could not be heard over their overly-enthusiastic cheers.

Wendinne Buss and Miriam Synnestvedt partner up for a perfect combo—one friend in black and one in orange for the perfect orange/black duo-pop!

To fend off paparazzi, Kristin Lindsay and Diane van Zyverden stay side-by-side when stepping out.

Sarah Gladish, host of Cameron’s Kitchen, pairs her silky orange Versace jacket with a soft blue scarf.

OUTRAGEOUS INORANGE

Page 15: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 15

Katya Grafska wore swaths of orange to the premiere of crony Kat Gatti’s latest film, The Suite Life of Kat and Rachel.

CAIRN PENDLETON “Orange can really bring out your eyes,” says the star.

LATTE LOVE! Kristin has been seen sharing lattés with BF Derek Rose.

For her appearance at the Cairnwood Gala, Gwyneth Paltrow chose a snakeskin Givenchy clutch as an accent to her orange frock.

During a day at the races, Chyler Henderson held tight to Tanner Jungé, saying “He’s the perfect orange accessory.”

GETHER LOOK!

Pierce your ear, then repeat twelve times!

Page 16: GAB! October 2011

16 October 2011

SNACKTIME!

FAMOUS KIDS

EAT, TOO!

Between takes, Five and Famous headliners Brock and James Petersmeyer recharge by snacking on sugary sticky buns with co-star Austen Wrinkle.

Duncan Childs obviously prefers chocolate ice cream to this vanilla cone, but the three-year-old son of Cameron and Ali Childs managed to stomach the afternoon treat. SWEET EARS!

Despite her tiny teeth, Erelah Odhner can polish off an ear of corn in less than sixty minutes.

Page 17: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 17

what youNEED TO KNOW!Every parent needs a few tips now and then. Clip this list out and stash it in your Louis Vuitton for daily use:• Two nannies are better than one.

• If your kid isn’t listening, talk louder.

• Toddler spray-tans are much healthier than harmful UV rays.

• There’s no minimum driving age for golf carts. Teach your kids early so they can take themselves to the playground.

• Stock up on kiddie sunglasses—they protect from the sun and from the camera flashes.

• GIve your child a GPS so they can find their way around your estate.

• There’s no boo-boo a moon bounce won’t fix.

SPORTY SNACKSWhile olympic gold medalist Whin Brown-Sylla runs through an afternoon workout, sister Mira Brown keeps one-year-old Denzin happy with a handful of apple slices.

SUGAR & SPICE!

Sibling superstars Chyler and Cade Henderson share a slice of homemade apple pie at the Bryn Athyn Music Festival.

Mother-of-two Sasha Silverman

loves getting parenting

advice.

OOPS!Cade doesn’t mind a drip here and there. He has people to take care of that.

Page 18: GAB! October 2011

18 October 2011

Kristen Stewart’s callous comments spark cosmetic alterations.

L ast Wednesday, one of Hollywood’s most mysterious artists shed his austere exterior, trading in his usual

cool-as-a-cold-cut-sandwich attitude for a heated outburst. On the set of his upcoming film—An Eagle in Bear Country—director Micah Odhner faced off against lead actress Kristen Stewart. According to cameraman Stewart F., whose last name as been kept anonymous to protect his identity, the altercation began when Kristen made an offhand comment about redheaded directors being “sensitive.” Micah immediately lost his cool and threw his headphones on the ground, yelling “CUT!...CUT FOREVER!” before storming off-set.

A spokesperson for redheaded director Dylan Hendricks said prejudice against “ginger” directors is a rampant problem in Hollywood. Though there are no confirmed reports of violence inflicted on celebrities because of their hair color, many redheads report sensing undertones of mistrust and jealousy.

Since his 2009 directorial debut with Body by Nintendo, Micah has been known for his calm on-set presence. “This outburst seems totally out of character,” said screenwriter Derek Rose, who did not write An Eagle in Bear Country. Filming resumed Thursday, and the movie is set for a July 2013 release.

MICAH ODHNEROn-Set Upset!

MAJORMELTDOWN!

When filming resumed after the on-set spat over Micah’s red hair, the director arrived with a slight cosmetic adjustment: a shaved head. Micah’s publicist claims the decision to go bald was unrelated to Kristen Stewart’s comments.

Micah on set Wednesday.

Micah on set Thursday.

18 October 2011

Page 19: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 19

Word on the street is that after years of semi-secret indulgence, Bonnie Hodgell’s addiction to Brita-filtered

water is finally out in the open. Former colleague Esther Yardumian-Smyth says the knowledge of Bonnie’s struggles have been weighing on her conscience for years. “I would see her between classes, sneaking into the teacher’s lounge with a glass for a fix.” It was only after her retirement this spring that Esther worked up the courage to stage an intervention for her overindulgent friend. With the support of mutual friends Susan Sarandon and Betsy Asplundh, Bonnie has made strides toward recovery. BFF Tracy McCardell reports that Bonnie can now stomach several varieties of bottled water, including Fiji and Voss.

BONNIE HODGELL

Over-Indulging

U p-and-coming extra Derek Hyatt’s dreams came true when he and

Mila Kunis started dating in September. His hopes were soon smashed, however, when he discovered she was only with him to get to his co-worker Dale Zecher. “She said he is a better man,” Derek says. “I’m willing to admit defeat without debating her rationality or the validity of her opinion or what the word “better” really means.” Dale, whose latest album Howling at the Moon dropped this fall, says his recent fame and musical success has nothing to do with his blossoming relationship with Mila. Sources say Derek has begun work on a country album.

MILA KUNIS

Man Trouble

Dale’s dapper outfits wow his woman.

Heartbroken Derek seems to have no reason to shave.

VIP SCENEAmy Brickman (above) running a triathlon while shirtless fiancé Ivan Maddock cheered her on.

Brittany Gruber taking a nose dive while skiing in Colorado Springs.

Allen Linnell catching a romantic comedy with a red-headed female friend.

Baird Kistner and Joey McIntyre rocking out to “Never Say Never” at a sold-out Justin Bieber concert in Philadelphia.

Jason Bateman catching a ride across B-town on a Yellow Bike.

Cheryl Cooper and January Jones steering coordinated baby buggies through Masons Mill Park, while sons Durban and Xander enjoyed the ride.

Anders Hyatt pausing to croon a love song to bride Esther Dziekpor Hyatt in a Starbucks parking lot.

Arina Tsepenyuk and Audrina Patridge shopping for watches at Govberg’s.

Michael Douglas and Jeremy Simons catching up over cappuccinos at College Grounds Café.

Got some hot gossip?EMAIL

[email protected]

Tracy McCardell gives GAB! the inside scoop.

Page 20: GAB! October 2011

20 October 2011

Diane’s necklace is made from

old newspaper and her skirt is fashioned

from reusable shopping bags.

TOTAL COST: $3.25

TrendWatch! THE LOOK

FOR LE$$!$0.25EARRINGSBATS

$0.55VINTAGE APRONBEHIND THE DRYER (ADDED LACE ACCENTS)

$0.00SHIRTNOT STAR’S

$1.75BLACK SKIRTWAL-MART (CLEARANCE)

$890SHOESLANVIN BLACK SATIN PUMPS

Bargain Ensemble!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .Star Silverman

stood out in a fabulous day-to-evening look for

less than $900!

DIANE VANZYVERDEN

PORTABLE! CONVENIENT! MANLY?

KEVIN JUNGÉ

Fabulous Finds and All the Latest Trends!

Page 21: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 21

MAN PURSE MANIA!

REAL MEN CARRY PURSES!Kevin Jungé has been toting his man purse around

California for more than a year, but the trend is only now reaching the east coast. Man purses are now the ‘it’ accessory for any Bryn Athyn guy. This was especially noticeable at the Bryn Athyn Bounty Farm Markets, where men were snatching up Lori Odhner’s recycled, custom tote bags. Says Lori, “I thought they were buying them for their wives!”

“I thought I was buying it for my wife, too,” admitted Adam Sutton, “But once I slung it over my shoulder, I knew I would never take it off again.”

Skyler Silverman says his pockets have never been so empty. “And the way I hold the purse really accentuates my shoulder blades. They’re my best feature.”

This winter, Kevin’s line of man purses will hit the shelves, featuring products such as: Handyman Handbag, Sack Up, Carry-On My Wayward Son, and It’s in the Bag.

Fabulous Finds and All the Latest Trends!

Don’t be shy, Sky, we love your man purse!

ADAM SUTTONAs a true connoisseur, Adam loves accessorizing, but he’s picky with his purses.

KEIFER SUTHERLAND

SKYLER SIVLERMAN

Page 22: GAB! October 2011

22 October 2011

SUPER-UNCLES!It’s a relative showdown!

For these celebs, the excitement over superstardom is waning, as the allure of being an awesome uncle takes over.

This opens up a whole new competition as each star competes to be best. Gone are the days of one-upping each other’s sports cars and square footage. Now all that matters is who knows how to french braid, makes the best smiley face pancakes, and can fit down the twirly slide at the playground. It’s a dog-eat-dog competition out there, and it’s every uncle for himself. The kids are eagerly egging the competition on, holding out judgment of who will be the “most awesomest uncle ever” until after the lucrative holiday season.

TrendWatch!

SUPER FUTURE?Soon-to-be Super-Uncle competitor Jonathan Herr says he can’t wait to get in the game. Rumors say he already put a down payment on a Mini Cooper for his niece- or nephew-to-be.

BONUS BABY!O-Bro Dylan Odhner (left, with nephew Ozzy) has had bonus time with his nieces and nephews while brother and fellow O-Bro Thor and wife Megan get to know the family’s latest addition, baby girl Aubrey. Uncle Dylan loves his relatives so much that he’s considering adopting kids of his own! Dylan’s publicist assures fans that Dylan is taking the decision seriously, well aware that the leap to fatherhood would disqualify him from the Super-Uncle Showdown.

DOUBLE DUTY

KNEE-TOP QT

Ryan Glunz takes niece Sadie for a ride

on his knee during an afternoon outing.

Uncle Ryan is just trying to remind Sadie

about those two ponies he bought her

that are back at the Hasen Family Ranch!

Hedging his bets and vying for votes, Adam

Sutton is careful not to show

favoritism, spending equal

time with nieces Chyler

Henderson and Maya Sutton.

Page 23: GAB! October 2011

RRED 40IT’S WHAT’S INSIDE.

When you’re tired, Red 40 is there.It’s the sugar, the dye, the color, the lifeblood of power. If you need momentary energy now and you’re willing to cope with a huge crash later, Red 40 is there.

Let your blood run red.

MATTHEW KENNEDY

Page 24: GAB! October 2011

24 October 2011

WHAT TO WATCH THIS WINTERThis season’s shows share DNA with some of your old favorites!

IF YOU LIKE... THEN WATCH...

GLEE MRS. ESTHER, DICTATOR

What It’s About Esther Yardumian-Smyth stars as a heavy-handed, over-opinionated classroom dictator in this high school comedy drama. Stacked Cast Top-billed cast for this juicy comic drama include Mauro dePadua, Sarah Gladish, Cory Boyce, and Emily Klippenstein. Guest appearances include cameos from Denise DiFiglia and Jennifer Allen.

TUNE IN! Dictator

debuts on Bravo

October 15

at 9 PM

Check out the GAB! Guide and set your DVR!

MOVIES & TV

Page 25: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 25

IF YOU LIKE... THEN WATCH THE DETAILS

CELEBRITY APPRENTICE ROOKIE BOOKIES What It’s About Hosted by Ian Chapman, the new reality show gives youngsters a chance to compete as apprentices to big-time bookies!Dynamic Duo Last week, Hope and Aurelle Odhner used quick thinking and careful calculations to emerge as the Radnor Challenge’s clear winners.

THE AMAZING RACE WANDERING WEST What It’s About In this alternately fast-paced and painfully slow competition, five friends compete to see who can live longest on $1 a day.Man vs. Wife Though lovebirds Dan and Siri Griffin are both competing, strict rules dictate that the couple must may not share food or resources.

VAMPIRE DIARIES UN-DEAD NEWLYWED What It’s About Two newlyweds must fight back in order to survive in a zombie-ridden world.Real Romance On-screen newlyweds are played by real-life couple Luke and Abby Howard, who say “filming together is a dream” despite the nightmare plot they enact.

THE ODD COUPLE ROOM FOR ROOMATES What It’s About Max Walko and Ben Mansbach star in this witty sit-com about post-college buddies in a rocky roommate relationship.Flashback Double Take In the sea-son premiere, actual college roommate and twin brother Zack Walko made a cameo as Max’s hand double.

PROJECT RUNWAY DESIGN DIVAS What It’s About Event design guru Jenny Son throws down the gauntlet on competing design hopefuls.Designed for Love Jenny’s no-nonsense judging gives way to distracted giggles as her favoritism of one strikingly handsome contestant becomes hard to hide.

MOVIES & TV

Page 26: GAB! October 2011

26 October 2011

FROCKS ROCK!TRENDSETTER

PLUMPIZZAZZ!

Chyler Henderson is setting the trends this fall, in perfect purple and plaid!

PUTTING ON THE PLAID!

Emma Watson strutted rocker-chic plaid on Hollywood Blvd.

Jared Jungé chose a Pitcairn family plaid kilt for the GAB! Gala.

Kirsten Dunst pranced in purple at a New York City movie premiere.

Olivia Palermosaid, “Following the trends of younger stars helps keep me young!”

She’s a Little Fashionista!The explosion of recent media attention given to

Chyler Henderson has been compared to that of child superstars Emma Watson, Miley Cyrus, and

80’s E.T. show-stealer Drew Barrymore. So when Chyler’s summer looks trended toward purples and plaids, the fashion world took notice. Now, fall fashionistas of all ages are mimicking Chyler’s style verbatim.

Page 27: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 27

For women who prefer to smell better.

JELENA A NEW FRAGRANCE FROM SHILOH

Not guaranteed to make you smell better. Available exclusively in Istanbul.

Page 28: GAB! October 2011

28 October 2011

CELEBPICS!

Keith Gruber, star of ABC’s

Dormitory Detention, just

announced that he and

wife Monica are expecting their second

child.

THEY WEAR SHORTS

THEY GET MARRIED!

THEY COLOR

COORDINATE!

BRYN ATHYN STARS ARE JUST LIKE YOU!Security was tight

at Alanna and Fabrice Paradis

Beland’s exclusive June wedding,

but the paparazzi were able to snap this photo as the

lovebirds left their reception.

Celebrity couple Adriann Spinks and

Ryan Glunz soak up the sun after returning from

their vacation in the Himalayas. How long can

Ryan’s mountain-man beard last in

the BA heat?

Experienced wedding-goers Elmo and Abbie Acton deemed it the wedding of the week!

American Cowboy leads Shiloh Silverman and Jelena Ivanova like to select matching taupe tops when spending an afternoon out.

THEY FALL IN LOVE!

Page 29: GAB! October 2011

NIE AUF WIEDERSEHEN

SHOW STARTS MARC H 30

WITH CONNIE ZIMMER AND DAN HULTGREN

LIBRA SEP 23 – OCT 22This month, you will become a master at interpreting your dreams, which will free you up to figure out all that bizarre stuff that goes on while you’re awake.

SCORPIOOCT 23 – NOV 21If you say ‘Scorpio’ 80 times fast, its starts to sound really silly. It also distracts you from watching the planetary movement. But we did catch the tail end: “Somethingsomethingsomething...and there you’ll meet your future spouse.”

SAGITTARIUSNOV 22 – DEC 21Next week will be full of surprises, which you will find is very fortunate once you figure out those hiccups aren’t going away.

CAPRICORNDEC 22 — JAN 19Walking out on a difficult situation never solves anything. But it does give you a head start on everyone else, and that will make all the difference.

AQUARIUSJAN 20 – FEB 18The good news is, you will learn that humidity does wonders for your hair! Unfortunately that will only happen after you accidentally lock yourself in a sauna.

PISCESFEB 19 – MAR 20Your exciting weekend will be ruined when that pesky store clerk just has to ask you what exactly you plan to do with 500 goldfish.

ARIESMAR 21 – APR 19The powers that be are always looking out for you, but that’s only because you have these really quirky mannerisms that just crack them up.

TAURUSAPR 20 – MAY 20The stars have nothing to say about you this month. And when you think about it, that is quite an accomplishment, because there are, like, a gazillion stars. It’s the equivalent of dodging raindrops, only...cosmic!

GEMINIMAY 21 – JUN 20You will have a chance to reflect on your inner beauty when you travel to Serbia and find an entire country of people who look like you, only better.

CANCERJUN 21 – JUL 22“Just keep knocking on doors until the right one opens.” And if a really angry guy opens the door in his pajamas, that was probably the wrong door.

LEOJUL 23 – AUG 22Next week, you will have the best dentist appointment of your life. And that is so, so great. Just hang onto that memory for the rest of the month, okay?

VIRGOAUG 23 – SEP 22You have a really bright future ahead of you! And we’ll be really happy for you once we stop seeing these big, colorful spots when we close our eyes.

GAB! HOROSCOPES

Billionaire Yenta Shannon Walko is a Libra!

GAB ! 29

Page 30: GAB! October 2011

Love and Marriage

Gill and Dave:

Jolly well in love!

Is it too early to dub the couples Ivamendallson?

WEDDINGS AT A GLANCE GAB! brings you the juiciest tid-bits from upcoming weddings

Playing Both Sides of the PondDavid Hyam and Gillian Rose sent out two invitations, identical except for the location, leaving the press to decide whether to stake out an English castle or the Bryn Athyn Cathedral. Paparazzi have their knickers in a knot as they each guess where the couple will wed. Crumpet sales soar as they eat their feelings.

Dream Come True*On Sept. 24, in a custom-designed asymmetrical Annina King gown, Sarah Walker wed beau Nestor SolÍs in a ceremony outside of Kempton, PA. The guest list included a host of celebrity couples, including Kelly and Louis Woofenden, Derek Rose and Kristin Lindsay, and Will Arnett and Amy Poehler.

Double Wedding?It came as no surprise when inseparable roomies Jason Hyatt and Ivan Maddock proposed to their girlfriends Kendall Ayers and Amy Brickman within a couple weeks of each other. Now fans think a double wedding is in the works. Sources say Ivan and Jason want to have the reception in Ivan’s basement, because that’s where their friendship first blossomed.

GUEST TESTBrooke Barnett and Roland Pitcairn are in the midst of plan-ning a mountain-top wedding. “It’s a beautiful location, and it’s also really hard to get to,” Brooke explained. “We were hoping the high altitude combined with the treacherous climb would thin out the number of guests. We didn’t anticipate that everyone would RSVP ‘yes’!

Popularity is a pain!

30 October 2011

BONUS REPORT!

*The editors of GAB! realize that since this wedding has already taken place it no longer counts as an “upcoming” wedding. However, since Sarah and Nestor opted for a brief 4-month engagement and this publication is issued annually, we are taking this opportunity to give the couple a belated shout-out.

Page 31: GAB! October 2011

BEFORE

Lauren O’Sullivan

SHAMPOO+ CONDITIONER+EXTENSIONS+HIGHLIGHTS!

SHAMPOOFOR HAIR THAT IS NATURALLY

CLEAN, SOFT, LONG, & VIBRANT

240 ml

4X

Do you have great hair?

4X is designed exclusively for those with naturally beautiful tresses, but if you’re looking for a change from fab to super-fab, try 4X! It’s the only all-in-one hair makeover in a bottle! Use 4X four times daily for four months for full effect.

Page 32: GAB! October 2011

32 October 2011

MEGHAN ROSS SAYS: NO!

EVERYONE ELSE SAYS: YES!

DOUGLAS AARON KEITH

GAB! WANTS

TO KNOW:

Where does he put his

wallet?

Q&A

TARYN FRAZIER AND SHEILA HEITER

Baa-aad Business?Using their beautiful babes as inspiration, Taryn Frazier and Sheila Heiter

opened a children’s secondhand clothing store in Kempton, a Bryn Athyn suburb. Lamb’s Secondhand boomed in the first month of business, but Taryn and Sheila are now discovering they overestimated their contributors. Kempton moms have nothing more to give. “When we started this store, our friends said they would give us the shirts off their kids’ backs,” Taryn said. “Turns out that is not the case.”

“After studying the market, we’ve discovered there aren’t a lot of clothes in Kempton,” explains Sheila, “But there are a lot of sheep.” The entrepreneurs now plan to spin their brand and enter the secondhand lamb business. “We didn’t have much of a choice,” admits Taryn. “We already ordered 3,000 business cards.”

Kempton farmers with an abundance of sheep are now regularly dropping off lambs at the store. “They’re doing me a service,” says sheep farmer Katrin Jungé. “I already have three bags full of wool.”

Jeans Too Skinny?For months, friends of food stylist

Doug Keith have been noticing the increasingly tight fit of his trousers. At first, Doug denied it, but now he just makes excuses. “I’ve heard it all: I’ve been doing a lot of squats, my dryer is too hot, I’m still growing,” lists BFF Travis Hyatt.

Doug’s girlfriend, journalist Meghan Ross, just enables him. She declined to comment, but sources say she thinks Doug’s close-fitting clothes are “cute.”

The situation became life-threatening when Doug fainted at a music festival due to lack of blood flow. Colin Cooper, PA, was on call when Doug arrived. “The EMTs knew his shorts were the issue, but they didn’t have the right equipment to cut them off. I had to use a scalpel.” Doug’s friends are planning an intervention, saying they want to stop the downward spiral before Doug discovers jeggings.

Vying for the Presidency?Cheryl Cooper, Director of the

Cottages, is poised to take over leadership of the organization. President Kristin King was also director of the cottages before rising to her current position. Coincidence? “No,” says a top administrator who prefers to remain anonymous. “If you really study the org chart, you will see that it’s the next logical step.”

When asked how she felt about Cheryl gunning for her job, Kristin said, “She can have it...I mean, no comment.”

TOO MANY LAMBS? WE’LL

TAKE THEM OFF

YOUR HANDS.

When Bryn Athyn demands answers, GAB! delivers. Doug, Cheryl, Taryn, and Sheila take a turn in the hot seat.

CHERYL BUSS COOPER

32 October 2011

Page 33: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 33

Next time you’re shopping for new shoes for your youngster, consider Heart & Sole. For each pair you purchase, we’ll donate an identical pair to a barefoot Kempton child.

And at just $1 a pair, isn’t the kindness worth the cost?

To order your pair, call 1-800-SAV-A-SOL today.

Page 34: GAB! October 2011

34 October 2011

1 4

R Meray Childs

CELEBRITY CUTIE-PIE QUIZ!GAB! Challenge: Can you match each munchkin to their mommy?

1 (Sofia), O

2 (Ava), J

3 (Faith), S

4 (Jackson), A

5 (Tanner), D

6 (Kingston), N

7 (Raelyn), R

8 (Spencer), F

9 (TBD), T

10 (Mara), G

11 (Harper), B

12 (Freya), C

13 (Oscar), L

14 (Kanan), M

15 (Suri), H

16 (Raya), P

17 (Everett), I

18 (Pehr), Q

19 (Adelene), E

20 (Durban), K

D Ayris JungéA Amanda Ogg F Shawnee HughesC Elise Genzlinger E Ali ChildsB Victoria Beckham G Abigail Smith

I Angela Cooper

Q Chelsea Odhner

L Emily Hasen

T Eden Odhner

P Taryn FrazierJ Celestyn Alpers

S Nicole Kidman

M Brittany Lermitte O Sarah WaelchliN Gwen Stefani

H Katie Holmes

K Cheryl Cooper

17 18 19 2016

6 7 8 9 10

12 13 14 1511

BABYPICS!

3 52

Page 35: GAB! October 2011

GAB ! 35

PERSONALITY TEST

Which Bryn Athyn Celebrity Are You? You’re at the Banquet and you are not-so-

randomly seated next to...

A. A bunch of older people. You spend the next couple hours charming them and making them feel better about the next generation.

B. A bunch of younger people. You spend the next couple hours ignoring the obvious age gap.

C. Baird Kistner. You spend the next couple hours laughing at appropriate times but inappropriate volumes.

You’re at the Mix and Mingle and you spend the night...

A. Hobnobbing with the Bryn Athyn elite, seeing and being seen, and making it into every reunion class photo—you’re still not sure how.

B. At the C & S Club.

C. Changing outfits, partially because of your enthusiastic dancing to Bostock Band beats and partially because you own so many different colors of tuxedoes.

You’re at the Bid and you...

A. Steal the mic and make the silent auction much more exciting.

B. Quickly discover they are not serving beverages this year.

C. Bring in tons of money for your school, mostly because people are lining up to try to solve the maze you shaved into your beard.

You’re at the football game and you...

A. Pretend you don’t see the kid stealing from the concession stand. After all, Charter Day comes but once a year.

B. Cannot believe the plays that are being called. Seriously, you have got to go for two there!

C. Think it’s weird that all the moms want you to kiss their babies.

And your BA celebrity match is...

If you picked mostly: A: Spring Silverman. B: Derek Hyatt. C: Ivan Maddock.

LOOK-ALIKES OF THE YEAR!

WILL FERRELL & BAIRD KISTNER

MEG ZIMMER & KRISTIN CAVALLARI

ANDERS HYATT & BEN STILLER

TAYLOR SWIFT & DEBORAH BARNETT

REESE WITHERSPOON & ADINA PETERSMEYER

SPECIAL CHARTER DAY EDITION!

Page 36: GAB! October 2011

36 October 2011

AMERICAN COWBOY

J E L E N A IVANOVA

Turkey is better when it’s hot.

S H I L O H SILVERMAN