games for learning about conflict egrove sdec13
DESCRIPTION
Presented at SDEC13 Winnipeg in Oct 2013TRANSCRIPT
Thank you to our Sponsors
Ellen Grove: Games for Learning about Conflict
Ellen Grove agilepartnership.com
Games for
Learning About
Conflict @eegrove
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Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippman, The Stakes of Democracy 1915
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Navigating
Foundering @eegrove
Furlongs’s Circle of Conflict
Relationships
Externals/ Moods
Data Structure
Values
Interests @eegrove
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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes
Avoiding Accommodating
Compromising
Collaborating Competing
Cooperativeness
Ass
ertiv
enes
s
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Social Virus
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@eegrove Adkins: h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-‐managing-‐conflict
Consensus
Shuttle diplomacy to de-escalate
Support and safety
Accommodate Negotiate Get factual
Peacekeeping/Protection
What might you do?:
@eegrove Adkins: h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-‐managing-‐conflict
"Separate the people from the problem.” "Focus on interests, not positions.” "Invent options for mutual gain.” "Insist on using objective criteria.” "Know your BATNA (Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement)” William Ury, Getting to YES, 1981
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Everyone is right…but only partially Lyssa Adkins and Michael Spayd
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North-Going Zax
Position 1: I MUST HAVE THE
LEMON!
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South-Going Zax
Position 1: I MUST HAVE THE
LEMON!
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796 @eegrove
North-Going Zax
Position: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!
Interest:
I need the rind of the lemon to make pound-cake
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South-Going Zax
Position: I MUST HAVE THE LEMON!
Interest:
I need the pulp of the lemon to make lemonade
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N00/3308234796 @eegrove
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North-Going Zax
Two heads are better than one
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South-Going Zax
If you want something done
right, do it yourself
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470 @eegrove
Recap ² Perception: What’s your perception of conflict? What
kind of conflict are you engaged in? ² Escalation: What escalates conflict? What is your
reaction to conflict? ² Contagion: How does your behaviour affect other
people? ² Constellation: Who is affected? Who needs to be
involved in the solution? ² Position: How to differentiate between position and
interests? ² Contradiction: How can we appreciate multiple truths
and recognize our biases?
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Great relationships rely on passionate disagreement Patrick Lencioni
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How do you need to be with each other? What can you count on from each other when the going gets tough?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dearbarbie/255550938 @eegrove
Resources
• PublicaAons – Furlong (2005) The Conflict ResoluAon Handbook – Thomas & Kilmann Conflict Modes: h>p://www.kilmanndiagnosAcs.com/overview-‐thomas-‐kilmann-‐conflict-‐mode-‐instrument-‐tki – Adkins, NavigaAng the 5 Levels of Conflict the Agile Way: h>p://agile.dzone.com/arAcles/agile-‐managing-‐conflict – Fisher and Ury (1981),Ge\ng to YES
• Games – PercepAon (What Color is Conflict?): h>p://www.teachervision.fen.com/classroom-‐management/acAvity/2922.html – EscalaAon (Role Plays): h>p://esrnaAonal.org/resources/lessons-‐from-‐connected-‐and-‐respected/ – Contagion (Social Virus): h>p://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/august2011.html#Jolt – ConstellaAon (Problem ConstellaAon):h>p://agilemeditaAon.wordpress.com/2013/09/12/problem-‐constellaAon/ – PosiAon (I MUST have the lemon!): h>p://learningstore.uwex.edu/Assets/pdfs/B3870-‐09.PDF – ContradicAon (Au contraire): h>p://www.thiagi.com/pfp/IE4H/february2013.html#Jolt
• Photo credits – http://www.flickr.com/photos/jsjgeology/8512500151 – http://www.flickr.com/photos/afireinwinter/9304601336 – http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnson7/1460568819 – http://www.flickr.com/photos/jkadlec/8650818989 – http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/da/Rolling-thunder-cloud.jpg – http://www.flickr.com/photos/niaid/8411599236 – http://www.flickr.com/photos/kenlund – http://www.flickr.com/photos/45802332@N – http://www.flickr.com/photos/djlicious/2191502470
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