gentle voice may 2013

Subject: Gentle Voice May 2013Date: 30/04/13 18:07

May 2013In This IssueDalai Lama

This month at Jamyang

Geshe Tashi's column

The Director's Column

Community Day

Lama Zopa

About FPMT

Your Thoughts for Gentle Voice

Quick Links

Jamyang Website

Current Programme

Talking Buddhism

The Foundation StudyCourse

The Lamrim Chenmo StudyCourse

FPMT

Editor's welcome

Hello,

John, our usual editor, is busy moving house so wehave reverted to the default Gentle Voice Editor, akaMonsieur Typo.

Many of our community were deeply inspired by HisHoliness the Dalai Lama in Switzerland and GesheTashi was fortunate to be able, once again, to spendtime with His Holinerss the Dalai Lama during hisrecent UK tour.

We all need a little, well frankly rather a lot of,inspiration in our lives - especially when the news canseem so unrelentingly grim.

So why not take some to think about all the kind andgentle and tolerant and compassionate people in theworld and rejoice in their goods deeds and rejoice inthem.

And yes that means rejoicing in your goodness too.

We were all nutured on the milk of human kindnessand our capacity for benevolence and care seemshard wired into us needing only the right conditions to

Gentle Voice May 2013

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be released.

May those 'right conditions' manifest right now in usand across the world.

Default Mickey

His Holiness the Dalai Lama on Compassion and the Individual

The Purpose of LifeOne great question underliesour experience, whether wethink about it consciously ornot: What is the purpose oflife? I have considered thisquestion and would like toshare my thoughts in the hopethat they may be of direct,practical benefit to those whoread them.I believe that the purpose oflife is to be happy. From themoment of birth, every humanbeing wants happiness anddoes not want suffering.Neither social conditioning nor education nor ideology affect this. Fromthe very core of our being, we simply desire contentment. I don't knowwhether the universe, with its countless galaxies, stars and planets,has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that wehumans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life forourselves. Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring aboutthe greatest degree of happiness.

How to achieve happinessFor a start, it is possible to divide every kind of happiness and sufferinginto two main categories: mental and physical. Of the two, it is the mindthat exerts the greatest influence on most of us. Unless we are eithergravely ill or deprived of basic necessities, our physical condition playsa secondary role in life. If the body is content, we virtually ignore it. Themind, however, registers every event, no matter how small. Hence weshould devote our most serious efforts to bringing about mental peace.From my own limited experience I have found that the greatest degreeof inner tranquility comes from the development of love andcompassion.The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own


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sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feelingfor others automatically puts the mind at ease. This helps removewhatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strengthto cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source ofsuccess in life.As long as we live in this world we are bound to encounter problems. If,at such times, we lose hope and become discouraged, we diminish ourability to face difficulties. If, on the other hand, we remember that it isnot just ourselves but everyone who has to undergo suffering, thismore realistic perspective will increase our determination and capacityto overcome troubles. Indeed, with this attitude, each new obstacle canbe seen as yet another valuable opportunity to improve our mind!Thus we can strive gradually to become more compassionate, that iswe can develop both genuine sympathy for others' suffering and the willto help remove their pain. As a result, our own serenity and innerstrength will increase.

Our need for loveUltimately, the reason why love andcompassion bring the greatest happinessis simply that our nature cherishes themabove all else. The need for love lies atthe very foundation of human existence.It results from the profoundinterdependence we all share with oneanother. However capable and skillful anindividual may be, left alone, he or shewill not survive. However vigorous andindependent one may feel during themost prosperous periods of life, whenone is sick or very young or very old, onemust depend on the support of others.Interdependence, of course, is afundamental law of nature. Not onlyhigher forms of life but also many of thesmallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law oreducation, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innaterecognition of their interconnectedness. The most subtle level ofmaterial phenomena is also governed by interdependence. Allphenomena, from the planet we inhabit to the oceans, clouds, forestsand flowers that surround us, arise in dependence upon subtle patternsof energy. Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay.It is because our own human existence is so dependent on the help ofothers that our need for love lies at the very foundation of our


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existence. Therefore we need a genuine sense of responsibility and asincere concern for the welfare of others.We have to consider what we human beings really are. We are not likemachine-made objects. If we were merely mechanical entities, thenmachines themselves could alleviate all of our sufferings and fulfill ourneeds. However, since we are not solely material creatures, it is amistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external developmentalone. Instead, we should consider our origins and nature to discoverwhat we require.Leaving aside the complex question of the creation and evolution of ouruniverse, we can at least agree that each of us is the product of ourown parents. In general, our conception took place not just in thecontext of sexual desire but from our parents' decision to have a child.Such decisions are founded on responsibility and altruism-the parents'compassionate commitment to care for their child until it is able to takecare of itself. Thus, from the very moment of our conception, ourparents' love is directly involved in our creation.Moreover, we are completely dependent upon our mother's care fromthe earliest stages of our growth. According to some scientists, apregnant woman's mental state, be it calm or agitated, has a directphysical effect on her unborn child.The expression of love is also very important at the time of birth. Sincethe very first thing we do is suck milk from our mother's breast, wenaturally feel close to her, and she must feel love for us in order to feedus properly; if she feels anger or resentment her milk may not flowfreely.


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Then there is the critical period of brain development from the time ofbirth up to at least the age of three or four, during which time lovingphysical contact is the single most important factor for the normalgrowth of the child. If the child is not held, hugged, cuddled or loved, itsdevelopment will be impaired and its brain will not mature properly.Since a child cannot survive without thecare of others, love is its mostimportant nourishment. The happinessof childhood, the allaying of the child'smany fears and the healthydevelopment of its self- confidence alldepend directly upon love.Nowadays, many children grow up inunhappy homes. If they do not receiveproper affection, in later life they willrarely love their parents and, notinfrequently, will find it hard to loveothers. This is very sad.As children grow older and enterschool, their need for support must bemet by their teachers. If a teacher notonly imparts academic education butalso assumes responsibility for preparing students for life, his or herpupils will feel trust and respect and what has been taught will leave anindelible impression on their minds. On the other hand, subjects taughtby a teacher who does not show true concern for his or her students'overall well-being will be regarded as temporary and not retained forlong.Similarly, if one is sick and being treated in hospital by a doctor whoevinces a warm human feeling, one feels at ease and the doctor'sdesire to give the best possible care is itself curative, irrespective of thedegree of his or her technical skill. On the other hand, if one's doctorlacks human feeling and displays an unfriendly expression, impatienceor casual disregard, one will feel anxious, even if he or she is the mosthighly qualified doctor and the disease has been correctly diagnosedand the right medication prescribed. Inevitably, patients' feelings makea difference to the quality and completeness of their recovery.Even when we engage in ordinary conversation in everyday life, ifsomeone speaks with human feeling we enjoy listening, and respondaccordingly; the whole conversation becomes interesting, howeverunimportant the topic may be. On the other hand, if a person speaks


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coldly or harshly, we feel uneasy and wish for a quick end to theinteraction. From the least to the most important event, the affectionand respect of others are vital for our happiness.Recently I met a group of scientists in America who said that the rate ofmental illness in their country was quite high around twelve percent ofthe population. it became clear during our discussion that the maincause of depression was not a lack of material necessities but adeprivation of the affection of others.So, as you can see from everything I have written so far, one thingseems clear to me: whether or not we are consciously aware of it, fromthe day we are born, the need for human affection is in our very blood.Even if the affection comes from an animal or someone we wouldnormally consider an enemy, both children and adults will naturallygravitate towards it.I believe that no one is born free from the need for love. And thisdemonstrates that, although some modern schools of thought seek todo so, human beings cannot be defined as solely physical. No materialobject, however beautiful or valuable, can make us feel loved, becauseour deeper identity and true character lie in the subjective nature of themind.

Developing compassionSome of my friends have toldme that, while love andcompassion are marvelous andgood, they are not really veryrelevant. Our world, they say, isnot a place where such beliefshave much influence or power.They claim that anger andhatred are so much a part ofhuman nature that humanity willalways be dominated by them. Ido not agree.We humans have existed in ourpresent form for about ahundred thousand years. Ibelieve that if during this timethe human mind had beenprimarily controlled by angerand hatred, our overallpopulation would havedecreased. But today, despite all our wars, we find that the humanpopulation is greater than ever. This clearly indicates to me that love


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and compassion predominate in the world. And this is why unpleasantevents are "news"; compassionate activities are so much a part of dailylife that they are taken for granted and, therefore, largely ignored.So far I have been discussing mainly the mental benefits ofcompassion, but it contributes to good physical health as well.According to my personal experience, mental stability and physicalwell-being are directly related. Without question, anger and agitationmake us more susceptible to illness. On the other hand, if the mind istranquil and occupied with positive thoughts, the body will not easily fallprey to disease.But of course it is also true that we all have an innate self-centerednessthat inhibits our love for others. So, since we desire the true happinessthat is brought about by only a calm mind, and since such peace ofmind is brought about by only a compassionate attitude, how can wedevelop this? Obviously, it is not enough for us simply to think abouthow nice compassion is! We need to make a concerted effort todevelop it; we must use all the events of our daily life to transform ourthoughts and behavior.First of all, we must be clear about what we mean by compassion.Many forms of compassionate feeling are mixed with desire andattachment. For instance, the love parents feel for their child is oftenstrongly associated with their own emotional needs, so it is not fullycompassionate. Again, in marriage, the love between husband andwife-particularly at the beginning, when each partner still may not knowthe other's deeper character very well-depends more on attachmentthan genuine love. Our desire can be so strong that the person towhom we are attached appears to be good, when in fact he or she isvery negative. In addition, we have a tendency to exaggerate smallpositive qualities. Thus when one partner's attitude changes, the otherpartner is often disappointed and his or her attitude changes too. Thisis an indication that love has been motivated more by personal needthan by genuine care for the other individual.True compassion is not just an emotional response but a firmcommitment founded on reason. Therefore, a truly compassionateattitude towards others does not change even if they behavenegatively.

The whole article can be found on the Lama Yeshe Wisdom archivesite which carries quite a few articles by His Holiness the Dalai Lamaas well as by Lama Yeshe and Kyabje Zopa Rinpoche. The site is wellworth a visit.

THIS MONTH AND NEXT AT JAMYANG


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CLASSES AND EVENTS IN APRIL AND MAY AT JAMYANG

CLASSES and RETREATSwith GESHE TASHI

Nagarjuna's WisdomTuesdays 21, 28 Mayonwards 7.30pm

Enlightening WaysWednesdays 22, 29 Mayonwards 7.30pm

RETREATS, WEEKENDTEACHINGS andPRACTICE

Buddhist Concept ofSufferingWeekend 18 & 19 May withGeshe GrahamWoodhouse

PRACTICE GROUPS Insight Meditation PracticeGroup4 and 18 May10.30-12.30pm open to all Kalachakra Groupmeets 18 May2 -5:30pm for initiates only

Guhyasamaja Groupmeets 19 May 10am for initiates only

Vajrayogini groupmeets 19 May 2:30pm forinitiates only Please book for all weekendclasses other than practicegroups by calling the officeon 02078208787 oremail [email protected]

You can drop in to allevening classes unless westate otherwise.

WEEK DAY EVENINGS

Buddhist Meditation in PracticeThursdays 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 Maywith David Ford

Medicine Buddha PujaTuesdays weekly from 30 April 6:15pm

Silent MeditationThursdays weekly from 2 May 6.15 - 7.15pm

Lama Choepa Puja4, 20 May 6 - 7pm

The Heart SutraTuesdays 16, 23, 30 April and 7, 8, 14, 15 May withJohn Bonell

Divine DharmasWednesdays 1 May with Natascha Bolonkin and ErikaBansky

Introduction to MeditationMonday 13 May 7:30pm

Buddhist Meditation: WisdomMondays weekly 20 May onwards 7:30pm

WEEK DAY DAYTIME

Tara Puja Tuesdays weekly from 30 April 4.30 -5.45pm

COMMUNITY

MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction)NEW COURSEThursday 10:30am and evenings 6:30pm 23rd of Mayfor 9 weeks. You must book for these courses.Contact [email protected] or [email protected],uk

Chi Kung and Tai ChiMonday evenings taught by William Walker.For more information and to book call William (followthe link above)

Yoga Tuesday evenings taught by Judy Watchman


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For more information and to book call Judy (follow thelink above)

Hridaya (Heart Centre) YogaWednesday evenings taught by NazFor more information and to book call Naz (follow thelink above)

Self Love Yoga ClassFriday evenings Taught by NicoletteFor more information and to book call Nicolette (followthe link above)

SPECIAL EVENTS

Jamyang Community Day11 MayCome and share your thoughts about Jamyang and allof its activities

Buddha Day25 May 8 -9:45am Eight Mahayana Precepts withShakyamuni Puja

Community Dharma26 May and 2nd June with Geshe Tashi 2-4pm. Finishing with shared tea party. Feel free to bringsomething to

Geshe Tashi's columnHello everyone,So I had the amazing good fortune to be asked toaccompany His Holiness the Dalai Lama on hisvisit to Ireland and Great Britain.It is an honour to accompany him, but it is morethan that. It is an inspiration.I find his life and his personality and his tirelesswork for world peace and the preservation ofTibetan culture so inspiring.Of course I find the life and work of theShakyamuni Buddha inspiring, but it somethingabout being in the presence of a living embodimentof loving kindness that has a special kind ofimpact.So the tour has just finished and this time whatvimpressed me most was his boundless energyand enthusiastic engagement in every thing he didfor others. Extraordinary, and hugely inspiring.


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Other than that I am looking forward to restarting my midweek classes in the lastpart of May.On Tuesday I will teach three chapters of Nagarjuna's famous FundamentalStanzas on the Middle Way. This is the first time I have tried to teach this atJamyang so while looking forward to it, at the same time I wonder whether it willwork. What encourages me is the high number of people who came regularlyevery week to the Tuesday evening teachings in the Spring term.

And then on Wednesdays I will again teach Lam Rim, the gradual path toEnlightenment. Please don't think that just because I teach on it every summmer and just becauseyou have attended a few of the courses and some of the retreats, that you have'done' Lam Rim. In my mind I can never get enough of Lam Rim, for me it is as fresh, inspiring (andchallenging) today as it was all those years back when I first heard it.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama on Educating the HeartFollow this link to a video of His Holiness the DalaiLama's recent talk on Educating the Heart at St John'sCollege Cambridge. You may recognise one or two of thepeople....

The video can be found on His Holiness's website.Cambridge

Burmese Buddhist violence against Rohingya muslims on theBangladesh Burma border and Bangladeshi violence againstBuddhists in the Chittagong tractsThe recent spate of violent attacks by Burmese Buddhists against members of theRohingya muslim minority in Bangladesh, some of which were clearly incited andled by ordained sangha in the Theravada tradition, and where the local police quiteclearly did nothing meaningful to intervene are not only horrendous personaldisasters for the people involved but also unbelievably bad PR for Buddhismgenerally and for Theravada Buddhism and Burmese Buddhism in particular.While hoping that the Theravada monastic hierarchy in Burma steps in very quicklyto discipline the monks who are playing an active role in inciting this cruelty andmadness lets us not forget that on the Bangladeshi side of the border ChittagongBuddhists have been attacked and killed and their homes and places of worshipdestroyed by muslim jihadi fundamentalist mobs.Please pray that both groups rediscover the ancient virtues of tolerance of diversityand neighbourliness and of not obsessively clinging to one's own religious or ethnicgroup and despising others.

Director's Column


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Signs of spring are beginning to appear as thesun begins to emerge again; the winds easeand the temperatures slowly start to rise.As April is all but over and colourful buds andblossoms herald the coming of the merriermonth of May, - April, as T. S. Eliot observedinThe Waste Land, can be "the cruellestmonth" - we are looking forward to our annualCommunity Day here at Jamyang, in justunder two weeks time, on Saturday, 11 May.It is a day for everyone in the Jamyangcommunity to meet, rejoice, enjoy, be presentand look to the future. We very much hope tosee as many people there as possible.This is very much your day, an intra-Community Day. A day for members of the

Jamyang Community - the students, practitioners, volunteers, staff, Friends andTrustees - to get together to discuss and better understand our vision, purposeand strategy. We want to engage everyone in the Jamyang community in bringingtheir ideas and energy to shaping our future. It is also a wonderful opportunity forall of us to both welcome and greet old friends and meet and make newones.There will be displays to show Jamyang's work and achievements. Mostimportantly, everyone will have the opportunity to contribute ideas and askquestions about the growth and development of the centre to better offer service tothe community and make the Dharma available for the benefit of all sentientbeings.

There will be a question andanswer session in the afternoonon initiatives for the future ofJamyang activities and thedevelopment of the building. Thiswill be driven by a discussion ofyour ideas from a specialsuggestions box on the day. Thedisplays will be in the receptionarea on your arrival and the boxwill be placed prominently there,together with some relevantmaterials to enable you to honeand submit your suggestions priorto engaging in some enthusiastic,constructive and enjoyable discussion inspired by them.Let's try and make this really useful. Start now! You will all hopefully have some

time before the day to reflect and get your thinking caps on. You will then be able torefresh and inform your thoughts as you look at the displays on arrival beforeoffering your suggestions for the development and improvement of Jamyang'sstrategy and capability for the better delivery of our Buddhist and Communityprogrammes.Fresh from his attendance on His Holiness in the UK and Northern Ireland during


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April, Geshe-la will be re-commencing his teaching programme in May.The May programme is well worth taking a look at if you haven't done so already.On Tuesdays from 21 May, inNargarjuna's Wisdom he will be teaching and exploring the influential writings ofNargarjuna, the founder of the 'Middle Way' school. On Wednesdays, from the22nd he will be teaching on theEnlightening Ways of Lama Atisha's Graded Path toEnlightenment.Geshe Graham is here for the weekend of 18 & 19 May exploring suffering andimpermanence via two of the famous and fundamental Four Seals of Buddhism.The Monday and Thursday Buddhist meditation classes return in May, the InsightMeditation Group continues on Saturdays and John Bonnell's Meditation on theHeart Sutra series continues on Tuesdays and Wednesdays finishing on Tuesday,14 & Wednesday, 15 May.On Saturday, 25 May in the morning from 8 - 9.45am we have another opportunity to come together as a community with Geshe-la, take the eight Mahayana preceptsand do Shakyamuni Buddha Puja and celebrateSaga Dawa or Enlightenment Daywith practice and prayers.

Roy

Dont forget Community Day 11th May 2013JAMYANG COMMUNITY DAY

Arrive 10.30am for refreshmentsand an 11 am start.

Meet up with old friends, make newfriends, meet the hard workingmembers of the Jamyang Board. There will be lots of opportunity foryou to offer comments andsuggestions for how Jamyang andits sister charity, the CourthouseCommunity Centre, can improve thequality of what we offer and offer itmore widely as well as offer comments on the five themes and targets of the 5 YearStrategic Plan.

All that through informal discussions and a SUGGESTIONS BOX placedprominently in the building. In the afternoon the Board will open the box anddiscuss the suggestions.

There will also be an opportunity to see the film Being your True Nature by OselHita and Matteo Passigatto. A very uiplifting and beautifully lit film.

Looking forward to seeing you there!

Buddhist Education Programme Advisory Group (BEPAG)


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The Jamyang Five Year Plan contains ambitious plans for the expansion of theonsite and online Buddhist educationire are big plans for the

Venerable Lobsang Palmo Eve Hardman - an obituaryVenerable Lobsang Palmo (EveHardman), one of Jamyang'sSangha, died peacefully athome, on 13 April 2013, at theage of 68, following adiagnosis of cancer last year.

South-African-born VenerablePalmo, had an adventurous lifebefore settling in the UK.Disabled from birth, she neverlet this hold her back, hermother having told her thatshe would grow up doingeverything other children did.Perhaps this is why she wassuch a "strong" and "feisty "person (as some of herJamyang friends havedescribed her). After leavingSouth Africa, Venerable Palmo travelled widely, roundAustralia and New Zealand, as well as spending time on anIsraeli kibbutz.

Having trained as a speech therapist, Venerable Palmo spenther last working years as a senior administrator at BT, whereshe met Phil Henry, who was to be her partner for many yearsand who she supported and nursed before he died in 2011.

Venerable Palmo became interested in Buddhism in the late1960s and was a Buddhist practitioner from 1994. Jamyangsubsequently became her "home" in 2002, where she wasordained by Geshe Tashi on Enlightenment Day in June 2008.As a mature Sangha member, her contributions to Jamyangwere many and various and she enriched the small Sanghagroup at Jamyang, including Venerable Barbara, VenerableKerry (Nalanda Monastery in France) and Venerable Shona.


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Volunteering in the(sometimes chaotic)Jamyang office, VenerablePalmo assisted the SpiritualProgramme Coordinator,particularly with runningthe FBT course, but with alove of language and a fineeye for detail, she was alsoan invaluable proof-readerof Gentle Voice, avoidingthe worst errors of TheGrauniad (so apologies toher for any typos in thisarticle).

A regular at the Dying Wellgroup, Venerable Palmocontributed warmly andpersonally at meetings,considerably enriched byher experience of nursingPhil, and she was a mainstay for the final meditation, readingor blessing. Her presence as ordained Sangha at a number ofour community members' funerals when she gave readingswas hugely appreciated. It is perhaps fitting that her last visitto Jamyang, a month before her death, was to attend theDying Well group, despite her by then failing strength.

Venerable Palmo was a keen gardener, building a new rockeryin her Hackney garden, not long before she moved to SouthLondon in 2011, and despite having been diagnosed withchronic heart failure. Her garden was also home to manybirds and animals - and an adopted cat. Her presence is nowevoked in Jamyang's lovely courtyard garden, particularly withtwo plants she had donated. A white camellia was in blossomat the time of her death and it flowers below the beautifulBuddha Paranirvana statue. The other plant - AbendglutBergenia - was in bud as Venerable Palmo was dying and nowhas red flowers; a strong plant, whose name translates as"evening glow" or "evening sunset" - this seems very


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appropriate for a strong woman.

Venerable Palmo displayed amazing generosity and kindnessto FPMT projects and to individuals. Jamyang's Repaying theKindness project, which supports carers in Lambeth andSouthwark with a range of activities, benefited hugely from avery generous donation from Venerable Palmo in 2012 when itwas badly in need of funds due to the ending of localgovernment funding. Her donation has secured RTK's futurefor some years, enabling it to continue its invaluable role,offering carers an enjoyable and relaxing break from theirtiring and sometimes stressful lives.

From 2003,Venerable Palmowas a volunteerwith the LiberationPrison Project setup by theVenerable RobinaCourtin. From2006, VenerablePalmo was acorrespondingDharma friend,regularly writing toprisoners. Whenshe was too ill to continue, she arranged for another nun tocontinue to write to "her guys". Since her ordination in 2009Venerable Palmo was a Dharma mentor to seven LPP studentsin the USA. Last July, she enthused a group of students atJamyang to volunteer as Dharma friends for LPP students,subsequently coordinating the largest group of volunteersfrom any one centre. Finally a few months ago, she arrangedfor another nun to continue coordinating Jamyang's LPPvolunteers.

Venerable Palmo faced her death and prepared herself as bestshe could for the end of this life - an example to all of us. Asshe told someone recently - "I'm really rather excited aboutdying". The support she received from her family and fromthe Jamyang community following her earlier diagnosis of


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chronic heart failure and the subsequent news of her cancer,was invaluable. Venerable Barbara visited her weekly - andalso supported Phil in his final illness. She accompaniedVenerable Palmo to her many hospital appointments andoffered much other support as well. Her role was taken overby Jamyang's Esther Garibay, when Venerable Barbara left fora long retreat abroad in January this year. Venerable Palmo'ssiblings, Patricia and Richard, and their families were anequally important support to her, particularly in the finalweeks.

Venerable Palmo had hopedto die in hospice care, butwhen this was not possible,she was cared for wonderfullyin her own home. Her familyspent much time with her.Her carers, Josephine andUfoma - African women whoshe got on with very well -came four times a day; andnursing back-up included anovernight sitting service froma Marie Curie nurse.

Two days before she died,Geshe Tashi did a MedicineBuddha puja with her; hermind was clear and she wasable to follow each stage ofthe puja. In the last few daysshe expressed the wish to be in silence and as peaceful aspossible. And so it was. She died peacefully, with Patricia ather side and following Geshe Tashi's advice she was leftundisturbed for an hour after which Patricia placed a blessedsubstance on the crown of Palmo's head.

Venerable Palmo treasured Thich Nhat Hanh's biography ofShakyamuni Buddha, Old Path, White Clouds, and it was thisbook she chose to be read to her when she was dying andcould no longer read it herself. A great believer in being in the


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present, we conclude this tribute to Venerable Palmo with aThich Nhat Hanh poem which (though not in the biography)she often quoted:

I have arrivedI am homein the here,in the now.I am solid.I am free.In the ultimateI dwell. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

There will be a memorial at Jamyang Buddhist Centreon 6th July for Venerable Palmo's family and friends - afitting date as this is the birthday of His Holiness theDalai Lama, for whom Ven. Palmo had a particularconnection and deep respect.

Lama Zopa Rinpoche on disharmony in the familyA student said therewas some disharmonybetween her parentsand her siblings. Sheasked Rinpoche'sadvice for improvingrelations, to bring aboutharmony betweenthem. Her parents wereupset, but her brothersand sisters were evenmore upset than theparents.The happiness that wethink comes from outside actually comes from within us, from within ourown mind. It is the same with our problems. Actually, nothing comesfrom just outside. Everything depends on how one thinks. Although itmay seem to come from outside one's mind, those are only theconditions for problems to arise.One way of thinking brings problems in life, the other way, one doesn'tsee problems. You can read the book Transforming Problems and also


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His Holiness the Dalai Lama's books on the good heart and histeachings on patience.You can mention to your brothers and sisters that whatever harm theythink their parents are doing to them, if they had not done negativeactions toward the parents in the past, there would be no reason forthem to receive harm or any unpleasant experiences from the parentsnow. So, remembering karma helps one to practice patience, not to getangry and return the harm.The parents of this life are very powerful objects in one's life. Theygave birth to this body, and even a small disrespect shown to themgenerates negative karma so heavy that the results are experienced inthis life and also continue into the next life. Even a small service orrespect shown to this life's parents brings results so powerful that theexperience of the results starts in this life and then goes on into futurelives.This happens from karma created with powerful objects, starting fromone's parents. This is one of the three types of karma. With the secondtype of karma, the results are experienced in the next life. The resultsof the third type of karma are experienced after many lifetimes.A more powerful object than theparents are ordained Sangha,including arhats, who have beenliberated from and are free of thecontrol of delusion and karma. Morepowerful than numberless arhats isone bodhisattva, just because he orshe has generated bodhicitta. If youlook at one bodhisattva with adisrespectful mind, glaring at them,this creates more negative karmathan taking an eye from all the threerealms' sentient beings. If one looksat a bodhisattva with a respectful,devotional look, this creates muchmore merit than offering jewels to allthe beings in the three realms.This is how powerful one bodhisattvais. More powerful than numberlessbodhisattvas is one buddha. Stillmore powerful than all the buddhas is one's own virtuous friend.These are the powerful objects in one's life, so a small act of disrespectto them brings very negative results. The more powerful the object, themore negative those results. Therefore, it's very good that you want totry to help your brothers and sisters be in harmony with your parents,


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so that they don't create negative karma with their parents.If you get angry, it doesn't help. It leaves an imprint in the mind,planting a seed that will cause anger to arise again continuously in thefuture. When you think someone is bad-that is, you label them "bad"- ifyou retaliate, instead of making others harm you less, you create thecause to receive more harm from others in the future.Therefore, in order to help oneself and also to protect and give peaceand happiness to others and to oneself, now and in the future, thewisest thing is not to get angry or harm them back. The best thing is topractice compassion toward them and toward others.

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More advice from Rinpoche can be found in the Lama Yeshe WisdomArchive, a treasure trove of jewels of compassion and wisdom from ourkind teachers. Please see

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kind of happiness

default gentle voice

happiness anddoes

owngentle voice

purpose oflife

greatest influence

happy life forourselves

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