Negotiation may sound simple but, if put into practice, there are a lot of processes you need to undergo to be able to persuade the other party to accede to your proposal or to your idea. Almost everyday, we try to negotiate, like going out with friends and deciding where to hang out or where to eat. In the book of William Ury, entitled Getting to Yes, the author enumerated and explained different steps and techniques to take when trying to negotiate with another person and to come up with a mutually acceptable agreement that neither leaves the parties dissatisfied, worn out, or alienated.

Dont Bargain Over PositionsOne of the strategies the author suggests is not to bargain over positions. This is what usually happens in a failed negotiation, or even if the parties had already agreed, they feel somehow dissatisfied with the conclusion. Bargaining over positions is where parties try to defend and insist only their on positions, having failed to realize the reason for their positions that would best serve their interests. Positional bargaining fails to meet the basic criteria of producing a wise agreement, efficiently and amicably. A wise agreement can be defined as one which meets the legitimate interests of each side to the extent possible, resolves conflicting interests fairly, is durable, and takes community interests into account.[footnoteRef:1] Insisting on your positions rather than on your interest, which is the main reason why you try to negotiate in the first place, would only make it more difficult for you to reach an agreement, worse, it would most of the time endanger your ongoing relationship with the other party.[footnoteRef:2] [1: Roger Fisher and Willim Ury, Getting to Yes (Random House Business Books), 7] [2: Ibid., 7]

The book introduces to us what the author calls Principled Negotiation or Negotiation on the Merits. This kind of negotiation is an alternative to positional bargaining as well as a method of negotiation explicitly designed to produce wise outcomes efficiently and amicably[footnoteRef:3]. Principled Negotiation deals with the four elements of negotiation, namely, People, Interest, Options, and Criteria. Principled Negotiation also tells you on what you should do with the four elements in order to arrive at an agreement. [3: Ibid., 10]

Separate the People from the Problem

Humans as we are have emotions and reactions. In a negotiation, especially when the other party suggests and insists on something we do not agree, we easily react, sometimes we get angry or upset and we file like attacking the other party, this kind of negotiation usually breaks out to tension. The author calls this the people problem which he submits to be dealt with separately from the problem. In negotiating, we must focus on our interests and not on our positions. Instead of treating the other party as your adversary and attacking them, the parties should attack the problem side by side instead of attacking each other. The parties in this method try to come up with standard criteria by which their conclusion should be based on a fair standard, such as market value, expert opinion, custom, or law to determine the outcome[footnoteRef:4]. One factor that keeps the parties from arriving at a conclusion is their different perceptions. It would be greatly advantageous if the parties are able to see the situation at each others perspectives by stepping into the other partys shoes. It may not be as easy as it may sound but this may help you understand their needs. If you want to influence them, you also need to understand empathetically the power of their point of view and to feel the emotional force with which they believe in it. It is not enough to study them like beetles under a microscope; you need to know what it feels like to be a beetle [footnoteRef:5]. It is as well unavoidable that the other party may become emotional, they may feel angry or upset and the best way to deal with it is to let them release their feelings, listen to them without responding and encourage them instead to let off steam, this way would help you talk with the other party rationally later on. [4: Ibid., 11] [5: Ibid., 16]

It is also best that the parties try to build a relationship with each other. Instead of just meeting them formally in the presence of a mediator, you should find ways to meet them informally and get to know them better by asking about their likes and dislikes. It would be easier to arrive at an agreement if the parties face and attack the problem together rather than facing and attacking each other.

Focus on Interests and Not Positions

First, you need to ask yourself why you want to negotiate. What is your position, and why? Interests motivate people; they are the silent movers behind the hubbub of positions. Your position is something you have decided upon. Your interests are what caused you to so decide[footnoteRef:6]. In a negotiation, a wise solution is what satisfies both the parties interests and not their positions, because it is their interests that moved them to negotiate in the first place. Examining the underlying interest of the parties will sometimes reveal many more compatible and shared interests between the parties rather than ones that are opposed. The most powerful interests are basic human needs which motivate all people, however, these basic human needs are usually easy to overlook. Arriving at an agreement that is mutually acceptable to the parties is most likely to happen when parties open up and communicate to each other about their interests. You need to convince the other party that they might feel the same way if they were on your shoes, in the same way that you should also understand them as if you are also in their situation. Parties would satisfy their interests better if they discuss about where they would like to go and what they would like to reach instead of arguing with each other about what they have done that may have caused the conflict. Attack the problem without blaming the people. Go even further and be personally supportive: Listen to them with respect, show them courtesy, express your appreciation for their time and effort, emphasize your concern with meeting their basic needs, and so on. Show them that you are attacking the problem, not them. [footnoteRef:7] [6: Ibid., 24] [7: Ibid., 30]

Invent Options for Mutual GainThe most important skill that a good negotiator must have is his creativeness at inventing options. In deciding for a solution to the problem, you should be open to suggestions and be good at creating options. You should separate inventing from deciding. Inventing ideas would require you to think about things that are not already in your mind. Creating options would be best in a brainstorming session where all the parties participate in inventing ideas. Do not be too compartmentalized from having to think of a solution that would instantly address the problem. The more options you have, the better your solution would be that would satisfy both the parties interests. Deciding should follow after the parties had already generated different options. Before inventing options, you must first define your purpose, think of what it is that you want to achieve in the meeting. In a large group with quiet a number of people, it is best to choose only a few participants in the brainstorming session, usually large enough to provide a stimulating interchange, yet small enough to encourage both individual participation and free-wheeling inventing[footnoteRef:8]. It would as well be helpful to design an informal atmosphere where the parties at home with each other, it would help them generate more ideas and options if the parties feel comfortable with each other. [8: Ibid., 33]

Insist on Using Objective Criteria

To arrive at a mutually agreeable solution, decision must be based on some objective criteria which should be independent of each of the parties will. After the parties brainstorming session, a lot of options have been invented, now its time to choose from one of those options. Agree with the other party that the decision be based on reasonableness and fairness, like when you try to bargain with the price of a house you want to buy, insist that the price be based on its market value or the same with the price with other houses similarly situated. Insist that the negotiation be based on the merits, in this manner you can bring others around to playing that game, since that becomes the only way to advance their substantive interests. Shifting the discussion in a negotitation from the question of what the other side is willing to do to the question of how the matter ought to be decided provides fro a strategy you can vigorously pursue without the high cost of positional bargaining.

Develop Your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)The reason why you negotiate is to produce something better than the results you can obtain without negotiating. Developing your BATNA would help you become flexible in negotiation, you BATNA is you alternative when negotiation fails. This is something you can use to avoid accepting terms that are hardly acceptable to you. It helps you compare a proposal with your other alternatives, so you may not end up accepting terms that are too unfavorable. When negotiating, always prepare or develop your BATNA, this will help you gain more confidence in negotiating, most especially you have developed an attractive BATNA. You can always tell the other party that its perfectly fine if they dont accede to your proposal, anyway there are still others waiting in line with better offers. The danger however with being too confident with your BATNA is when you have made an unreasonable stretch price that you end up taking out your product off the market without anyone having accepted your terms for being too unreasonable.

In every negotiation, always remember to prepare and develop your BATNA. Avoid positional bargaining by shifting the game, ask the other party what is it that he wants and why he wants it. Always focus on interests and needs. A wise agreement is one based on fairness and reasonableness and one that satisfies the parties interest.