girls be u curriculum 2015
TRANSCRIPT
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GIRLS BE U CURRICULUM
Presented to YWCA McLean County by the Association for Women in Communication Student Chapter at Illinois State University
Curricular Contacts:
Julie NavickasAWC Faculty Advisor
Allison BuehnerAWC Past [email protected]
217-801-6764
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Table of Contents:
Session #1: Team Building & Small Group Communication……………………………………..3
Session #2: Expressing Yourself & Releasing Energy in a Positive Manner……………………..6
Session #3: Respecting Yourself & Others………………………………………………………..9
Session #4: Healthy Relationship Building……………………………………………………...14
Session #5: Representations of Women in the Media…………………………………………...19
Session #6: Leadership & Being a Role Model or Mentor………………………………………22
Session #7: Volunteerism & Community Involvement………………………………………….25
Session #8: Being a Lifelong Learner……………………………………………………………28
Session #9: Thinking About the Future………………………………………………………….32
Resources………………………………………………………………………………………...35
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Session #1: Team Building & Small Group Communication
Goals:
Participants will learn and practice how to work with others in team settings Participants will develop an understanding of interpersonal communication and its
importance for setting and obtaining goals Participants will have a better awareness of their counterparts in a group and how a team
functions together Participants will discover the many roles individuals can play in a team setting
Curricular Content:
As a (junior) high school student, chances are you have worked in a team setting before. Perhaps you’ve had a group project in your English class, or you’ve played on a team in physical education, or even worked with others to collaborate on a test or essay. The point is, almost everyone has participated on a team at some point in their lives. Within those teams, communication is crucial between all members, regardless of what role each person plays. Whether it is between two teammates on a sports team or two students in a classroom, communication is vital to success. Teammates must develop trust, since it is not automatic. Members must communicate more openly than they normally would in everyday life. There must be honesty on all ends of the team, since withholding the truth could damage the team's integrity. Team members should always share information and feelings between each other. This allows for total trust between the team members.
When thinking about a team, oftentimes the idea of group communication comes into play. Small group communication means working with and communicating within groups between 3-20 people. Groups generally work in a context that is both relational and social. The purpose of every group is to achieve more than what one person could do alone. This idea is called synergy: where all of the parts working together, create more than the sum of the parts.
Some qualities that improve group synergy are behaviors that strive to help others in the group, and seeking to share information for the benefit of the group. Having a collectivistic outlook in a group setting, rather than a self-help or individualistic outlook will increase the group’s abilities to make decisions. Quality decision-making requires that members both identify with the group and have an attitude of commitment to participation in interaction.
Think about a time when you were in a group setting; can you picture how each team member handled their task differently? Were some members shy and quiet, while others took charge and became the leader? If these roles resonated with you, it’s more than likely because you picked up on the roles each team member was playing. These roles help the group to accomplish its goal or purpose. In other words, if you fulfill (and you should) one of these roles, you are doing your part to accomplish the task:
Task RolesInitiator: helps the group by proposing ideas right away
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Information Seeker / Giver: asks for ideas from others / shares opinions Organizer: keeps the group on task, organizes meetings and agendasClarifier: asks questions to make sure everyone understandsElaborator: expands on the ideas of othersEvaluator: positively, yet critically, reflects on and offers value judgments on suggestions
While these roles are task oriented, you may also consider the roles team members play when building relationships with other members. Oftentimes groups are successful at accomplishing tasks with just the task roles, but sometimes it takes relationship roles to ensure that all team members respect each other.
Relationship RolesGatekeeper: sees that everyone is involved in an open discussion, encourages participation among all members, and helps to control the flow of conversation Harmonizer: helps to settle conflicts between members by maintaining peace within the groupTension Reliever: uses humor to relieve tension when conflict or deadlines loomSupporter: encourages positive feelings, consoles, and counsels other members
When looking at the above task and relationship roles, you may notice that these roles are positive in nature. If you’ve ever worked on a team before, chances are you may have experienced a disturbance in the group, or lack of synergy. That is because as team members, we can sometimes play disruptive roles.
Disruptive RolesBlocker: opposes ideas but offers no solutionsAvoider: refuses to participate Credit Seeker: tries to take credit for other group member’s ideas or the work load of the whole groupDistractor: tries to get the group off track by acting silly or talking off subjectDominator: monopolizes the discussion and prevents others from expressing their ideas, wants to do all of the work to make sure it’s done “right.”
Each member within the group can serve in multiple roles. The most effective group member will concentrate on various tasks and relationship roles and avoid disruptive roles.
Discussion Questions:
1 – What roles have you played in a group in the past? What roles have you noticed others taking on? Were they always positive, or were they sometimes disruptive? 2 - What is the role of a leader in a group? Do you think leaders are born or do they emerge over time? What defines a leader? 3 – Are disruptive roles ever positive in a team setting? Can you think of an example where a disruptive role could ever lead to a positive outcome? 4 – What task, relationship & disruptive roles do you tend to gravitate toward? What roles would make you uncomfortable or force you out of your comfort zone? Why?
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Activities:
Backing Each Other Up: Participants should pair off who are of equal height and weight. Partners sit on the ground with their backs pressed together. The goal is to stand up in unison without losing contact while communicating. Hands must be kept off the floor. Once all groups have accomplished the task, group into fours and eights with participants sitting in rows facing away from each-other, staggered so their back touches two people. Continue making longer groups until the entire team succeeds together. This teaches teamwork and trust, like many other team building activities.
“The Human Knot,” aka “This Game is Fun… Knot!”: How to Play: Have participants form a circle. Everyone will put their right hand in the air, and take the hand of a person across from them. Then, everyone repeats the process using their left hands. After everyone is holding someone’s hand, the goals is to untangle the knot and form a circle without anyone letting go of the hands they’re holding.
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Session #2: Expressing Yourself & Releasing Energy in a Positive Manner
Goals:
Participants will be able to identify and practice positive methods of self-expression and release of energy
Participants will discover the benefits and uses of “I-Statements” Participants will sample a variety of methods to express their passion & demonstrate their
creativity Participants will walk away with a variety of techniques to express themselves in a
positive manner
Curricular Content:
As a teenaged student, sometimes daily life can be full of complicated and difficult to understand situations and problems. You may feel as though nobody understands what you’re going through and you cannot relate to others easily. In fact, most times you often might feel like screaming and yelling until finally someone looks up and recognizes that you are feeling unhappy, confused, or even disappointed. These are all common feelings that many students identify with and experience regularly. The trick is to know how to appropriately handle your feelings and understand ways to express yourself positively so that others are aware of your emotional state.
Accepting responsibility for your feelings is one of the most important communication skills you can acquire at a young age. It’s easy to express feelings and opinions without assuming the responsibility for them (You-Statements). We often tend to hide behind blaming others for making us feel the way we do, claiming “you” are responsible for stating “we “ feel this way. Instead, if you’re experiencing a problem, or are feeling frustrated, start by making an I-Statement.
I-Statements consist of a description of how you feel, an indication of the conditions under which you feel that way, and why those conditions cause your emotions. I-Statements take this form: "I feel… (state your emotion) when you… (describe their behavior or under what conditions you feel this way) because… (explain why their behavior or the conditions cause you to feel this way).
Examples of I-Statements 1. I feel annoyed (feelings) when you leave your clothes on the floor instead of putting them in
the hamper (behavior), because then I have to pick them up to keep the house neat (why). 2. I feel angry (feelings) when you leave your dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the
dishwasher (behavior), because I get the impression you expect me to clean-up after you and that is not my expectation of our relationship (why).
3. I feel upset (feelings) when you raise your voice at me (behavior) because I don’t want to be in a relationship where yelling is the norm.
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Utilizing I-Statements are more constructive than commanding, threatening, moralizing, judging, ultimatums, mind-reading or other behaviors that create defensiveness, often expressed in a You-Statement. Consider the differences between I-Statements and these sample You-Statements:
1. Blaming: “You make me so mad.”2. Judging: “You are an inconsiderate, arrogant creep.”3. Accusing: “You don't give a damn about me!”4. Ordering: “You shut up!”5. Arguing: “You don't know what you are talking about.”6. Sarcasm: “Of course, you are an expert!”7. Disapproval: “You are terrible.”8. Threatening: “You had better...”9. Moralizing: “You ought to ...”
As you can see, there are inherent differences between placing blame on others and expressing your frustrations in a positive manner. There are many benefits of utilizing I-Statements versus using You-Statements:
1. Avoids blaming others for your emotions2. Accurate and less hostile way to express a feeling or an emotion you’re experiencing3. Most appropriate way to inform someone that their behavior is causing a problem4. Minimizes making the other person feel guilty, put-down, and resentful
In sum, knowing how to appropriately express your feelings and emotions is a highly desirable trait and will set you apart from others who are not able to express themselves in a positive manner. Knowing the proper use of the I-Statement not only will enable you to share your feelings in a non-threatening way, but will also help you release your energy in a positive manner. Not all expressions of feelings are verbal; the concept of the I-Statement can be expressed through a multitude of activities ranging from exercise to journaling.
Discussion Questions:
1 – Why do you think I-Statements are effective when expressing your emotions? Can you think of any other verbal ways to express your feelings? 2 - What do you do to express yourself and release pent up energy (journal, paint, exercise, listen to music, yoga, etc.)? What techniques have you seen others use? 3 – What emotions and feelings do you get from releasing your energy? Do you feel better after expressing your emotions? 4 – Why do you think a physical action is typically required to feel better emotionally? Are your actions tied to your emotional state?
Activities:
Round Robin Release of Energy: All participants will have the opportunity to explore their creativity and try out new ways to express their emotions and feelings utilizing the concept of I-Statements. Rotate between the following activities for 10 minute intervals that will enable all
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participants to learn what technique for expressing themselves works best: journaling, painting/drawing, exercising, listening to music, yoga, etc.
I-Statements: All participants will have the opportunity to practice utilizing I-Statements with each other by completing the following scenario based worksheet: http://www.therapistaid.com/content/0093.pdf
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Session #3: Respecting Yourself & Others
Goals:
Participants will understand and practice how to develop a strong sense of self-respect Participants will practice expressing their opinion, while at the same time being a good
listener Participants will have the opportunity to develop an improvement plan for self-respect Participants will have the opportunity to identify how they can help others on their own
journeys of self-respect
Curricular Content:
Last week, we discussed I-Statements and practiced ways for how to express ourselves in a positive manner. Now that we have identified how to express ourselves positively, we can begin to understand how to respect ourselves. Developing a strong sense of self-respect can help you fulfill your potential, develop healthy relationships, and make everyone around you see you as a person who is worthy of respect. If you truly want to respect yourself, then you have to accept yourself, and work on becoming the person you always dreamed of becoming. Taking steps to know how to feel happy with whom you are is an important experience that will help the world treat you as you deserve to be treated.
Learning to respect yourself is not always an easy task, but can be accomplished by understanding and practicing the following four steps:
1. Getting in the right mindset2. Taking action with yourself3. Interacting with others4. Being good for yourself
Part #1: Getting in the right mindset
1 - Get to know yourself. The more you understand about yourself, the more you'll see and appreciate how unique you really are, and the more you'll respect yourself. Discover your principles, personality, and talents. It can take a while to complete this exciting process of self-discovery, but you'll quickly see that it was worth it.
Make a list of things, people, feelings and activities that are important to you. This will help you identify what you really like and need in your life.
Try out different activities. This will give you a chance to see what you like and what you don't like.
Try writing in a journal. Pretend that you're having a conversation with your 99-year-old self and you're asking for advice on what to focus on in your life.
Spend time with yourself by pretending you're dating yourself. This will give you a chance to connect with your own feelings and opinions.
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2 - Forgive yourself. If you want to respect yourself, then you have to be able to forgive yourself for things you've done in the past that you’re not proud of. Admit what you did was wrong, apologize to others if necessary, and work on moving forward. If you're too hard on yourself for making the wrong decision or saying something hurtful, then you'll never be able to move on. Know you're human. People make mistakes. Making mistakes is the way we learn, so accept them and forgive yourself.
3 - Believe in your choices. If you want to respect yourself, then you have to believe in the decisions you've made. You have to be firm in your beliefs and make an effort to understand yourself and to know what will really make you happy. Give yourself the reward of a decision well-made and stick to it, no matter how difficult it may be.
It's okay to ask other people for advice, and this can actually help you gain a more balanced perspective, but you shouldn't spend your time doubting yourself, thinking that what you've done is all wrong, and wishing that you had done something else.
Part #2: Taking action with yourself
1 - Treat yourself with respect. We often do things to ourselves that we would never dream of doing to someone we care about. For instance, when’s the last time you called a friend ugly, told them they weren’t good enough, or discouraged them from following their dreams? Whatever you believe to be respect, apply it to yourself. Do not insult or harm yourself, no matter how bad you feel. This kind of treatment is only bound to make you feel worse. Here are some other ways to treat yourself with basic respect:
Do not steal from yourself, such as recklessly putting everything on credit; you're essentially taking money from your future self, because you'll have to pay up eventually.
Be honest with yourself instead of being in denial about what you really want. Think for yourself by developing your own sources of knowledge and doing research, instead of
just following the opinions of others.
2 - Take care of your body. When you make an effort to keep your body in good working order, you'll not only feel better physically, but you'll also feel a sense of pride. Respecting your body also means not insulting it for what it is, naturally. Make an effort to get fit and stay healthy, but don't trash yourself over the things you cannot control, like your proportions. Focus on the things you can change and improve, and do it because it feels good, not because you think you're not "good enough" the way you are.
This does not mean that going to the gym and looking amazing will automatically lead you to have high self-respect. But it does mean that if you do not put any time or care into your appearance, that you'll start to lose respect for who you are.
3 - Improve yourself. Improving yourself means taking the steps to try new things and to open your mind to new possibilities.
Improving yourself can mean taking a yoga class, volunteering, spending more time learning lessons from the elders you care about, learning to see multiple perspectives about a situation, reading the news, and striving to learn new things.
Part #3: Interacting with others
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1 - Recognize when people disrespect you and take steps to stop it. A person with self-respect does not allow others to treat them badly, and would rather not associate with someone who is disrespectful. This might seem obvious, but there are many times when we accept being treated badly (in both big and small ways) because we believe the person doesn't know any better, or because we're not willing to let that person go, or because we're too down on ourselves to believe we deserve better. When someone doesn't give you basic respect, stand up for yourself and tell that person to treat you better.
If someone continues to disrespect you, let him/her go. Nobody said it was easy to turn your back on someone who has clearly disrespected you, if you care about that person a lot. But once you break the bad habit of associating with someone who makes you feel terrible, you'll feel your self-respect soar.
Learn to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship. It can be hard to see when a person close to us is being disrespectful, especially if they're subtle and sneaky and it has been going on for a long time.
2 – Do not rely too much on others to feel good about yourself. Many times in dating or friendships, we might sacrifice our own needs and allow ourselves to be controlled by others because we are too afraid of losing them. You might perceive their opinions to matter much more than your own. In addition, paying attention to everyone else’s needs but your own is a classic sign of low self-respect. Instead, trust your own opinions and put your own needs first. Learn that you do not need to depend on someone else for your happiness.
A good place to start is to figure out what you can control and what you cannot control. For example, you cannot control the actions of other people (you can influence them, but not control them), and you cannot control the weather. But you can control how you react to people even in bad situations, and you can control how you decide to feel.
You can also take actions to improve the way you are handling different relationship situations, such as learning to be more assertive, and learning about healthy boundaries, how to enforce them, and how to stick to them. This will help you learn healthy behavior patterns that will encourage people to treat you well and increase your self-respect.
3 - Forgive others. If you want to respect yourself, then you have to learn to forgive the people who have wronged you. This does not mean that you have to be best friends with them, but it does mean that you should mentally forgive them and learn to move forward. If you're spending all of your time thinking about all of your grudges and resentments, then you won't be able to think clearly or to live in the present. So, do yourself the favor of forgiving people so that you can move forward. Even if someone has done you unspeakable harm, you need to work on moving on from the experience and the person. You cannot let yourself wallow in anger and resentment forever.
Forgiving others is a gift you give yourself, and an action you do for your own self-healing. It's okay to be angry for a little while, but if you are angry too long, the anger will interfere with your life and your happiness. Realize that when people treat you badly, it's because they do not have people in their lives treating them well, so they could be worse off than you. So, forgive them for their mistakes and transgressions for yourself, and the person who will benefit most is you.
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Part #4: Being good for yourself
1 – Do not demean yourself. If you want to respect yourself, then you should stop demeaning yourself, especially in front of others. It is one thing to laugh at yourself, but it is another thing to say things like, "I look so fat today," or "Why would anyone want to talk to me anyway?" If you put yourself down, you are encouraging others to do the same.
The next time you have a negative thought about yourself, write it down instead of saying it aloud. If you say it aloud, you'll be more likely to think it's really true.
2 - Admit when you're wrong. If you truly want to respect yourself, then you have to be able to know when you've made a mistake. If you've messed up, let people know in a way that shows that you're truly sorry and that you've put enough thought into the situation to avoid doing the same thing again in the future. Taking responsibility for what you do and doing your best to make amends for it will help you move past feeling bad about making the mistake, which will help your self-respect, because you will know and be proud of the fact that you did your best even though things did not go as perfectly as you would have hoped. Give yourself and the people around you enough respect to be able to admit that you're only human.
If you learn to admit that you're wrong, people will have much more respect for you and will be able to trust you more.
3 - Spend time with the people who respect you. Being around people who make you feel terrible about yourself is guaranteed to lower your self-respect, because you'll feel bad not only because of what that person says, but deep down, you'll also be mad at yourself for letting that person hang around you. Find people who make you feel positive, good about yourself and the world, and who actually take the time to listen to you and to help you sort out your feelings.
This is especially true for relationships. It will be close to impossible to have true self-respect if you're dating someone who makes you feel worthless.
Discussion Questions:
1 - What do you do to increase your self-respect? What tactics have you found to be useful that others might identify with? 2 – Has anyone come into your life and helped you navigate a positive change in direction? If so, who was this person? What qualities did this person possess that enabled you to positively change?3 - Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” What might keep a person from having self-respect?4 - Can you expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself? Why or why not?
Activities:
Candy Toss: Have all participants sit in a circle. Evenly distribute 10 pieces of candy (any kind works) to each participant. Go around the circle and have each person name one thing in their life that they think is special/unique or some talent or ability they possess. As each person says what they want to say, the other members of the group toss that person a piece of candy if that is
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not something they have in common with the individual. The game ideally ends at a point where everyone has a near equal amount of candy.
My Attitude of Gratitude: Take a piece of paper, preferably a special notebook and title it “My Attitude of Gratitude.” Have the participants write down 10 things they are grateful for in their life. Ensure they describe each one in at least 30-50 words. Remind them to not forget to mention the little facts because they can sometime easily be taken for granted.
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Session #4: Healthy Relationship Building
Goals:
Participants will be able to identify signs of an unhealthy relationship Participants will learn how to handle conflict with friends, family and partners in a
positive way Participants will develop their own set of boundaries for themselves and determine the
best way to have that conversation with their partner
Curricular Content:
Relationships between our family, friends, and partners have a major impact on our lives. Healthy relationships allow for individuality, bring out the best in both people, and invite personal growth.
Part #1: Getting Close
Developing meaningful relationships is a concern for all of us. Getting close to others, sharing our joys, sorrows, needs, wants, affections, and excitements is risky business. What is it that interferes with us getting close to each other? Often it is one or more of these common fears:
1 - Fear of becoming known as we really are. Opening ourselves to others and their reactions is not only difficult for us, but it puts a demand on others to be likewise.2 - Fear of pain and disappointment. Mass media and advertisers have tried to convince us that we should be 100% happy, 24 hours a day. Hurt, pain, disappointment, and loneliness are not comfortable feelings, but they are human. Without the risk of experiencing them, one can never experience love and/or being loved.3 - Fear of losing our freedom. Can I risk giving up something of mine to care about you without you wanting to take it all away? Can I be both close and separate with you?4 - Fear of being a taker as well as a giver. It is difficult for most of us to receive, yet if we don't, no one can experience the joy of giving to us.5 - Fear of judgment. People are reluctant to disclose themselves because they dread the moral judgement of their friends, family, minister, the law, etc.6 - Fear that showing love and affection is not proper. This is especially true for men, but NOT restricted to them. Somehow we have been convinced that this is a sign of weakness rather than a sign of courage.
If we learn to communicate effectively with others and are willing to risk sharing our own feelings and respect other's feelings, many rewards will await us as we learn to get close to another person.
Obviously, a very special relationship. Getting close means you can need someone else and he/she can need you. It means when you feel discouraged or upset, someone is there to comfort and care about you, and you can do likewise.
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You acquire faith in yourself, faith in others, and an ability to be faithful to others. It enables you to live fully in the present and to have meaning and purpose for your own existence.
You become more sensitive to yourself, with choices about how, when, and where you wish to share your feelings. You KNOW when you are experiencing love, joy, anger, etc.
Part #2: The Art of Communication
When people are asked what the most important ingredients in a relationship are, communication almost always is on the list. Yet we rarely are taught HOW to communicate effectively. Communication with others boils down to either expressing ourselves or responding to someone else. Yet the methods for doing each are quite different.
Expressing OurselvesWhen you are stating an opinion, making an observation, or expressing a feeling, the most appropriate format to use is an "I-statement." We learned about this in Week 2. To review, I-statements allow us to state things in positive terms, to express ourselves directly and honestly, and to take responsibility for what we think, feel, and need while avoiding blaming or accusing others. In contrast, "You-Statements" blame the other person, put him/her on the defensive, and often cause communication to be blocked.
Responding to OthersWhen other people are expressing themselves, it is not appropriate to use I-statements when responding. A more effective technique is called "Reflection." Reflection is saying back, in your own words, the content and/or feeling of what the other person just said. Reflection does not question, challenge, argue, approve, or disapprove. We can use an even simpler formula for Reflection:
"It sounds like you're feeling/thinking/wanting (express the emotion, thought, desire you hear)...because (state the reason you heard for it)..."
Reflection requires us to listen very carefully to what the other person is actually saying. Yet we also do NOT have to be right in identifying the emotion or reason we hear because the speaker will automatically clarify it for us (and sometimes for him/her in the process). What we need to remember is that when we use Reflection, the other person is going to continue talking about what he/she is experiencing, so we need to make sure that we have time to listen. When we first begin using I-statements and Reflection, it can feel artificial. It doesn't take long for them to become automatic. Experiment with them and you may find that your discussions with other people become much more productive and satisfying.
Fighting FairlyA major stumbling block in any relationship is settling disagreements, which often reduce to emotional shouting matches rather than caring problem-solving. Basic ground rules for effectively facing conflict in a relationship include:
1 - Maintain a spirit of good will - remember: you care about this person.
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2 - Avoid attacking one another - discuss behavior, not personalities.3 - Share your feelings - explore and discuss them.4 - Focus on the present - past disappointments cannot be changed. Concentrate on the here and now.
Part #3: Establishing Boundaries with Your Partner
The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things—being on the same page is very important. The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship:
1 - Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.2 - Respect Your Partner. Your partner’s wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.3 - Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.4 - Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.5 - Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.
Healthy BoundariesCreating boundaries is a good way to keep your relationship healthy and secure. By setting boundaries together, you can both have a deeper understanding of the type of relationship that you and your partner want. Boundaries are not meant to make you feel trapped or like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Creating boundaries is not a sign of secrecy or distrust — it’s an expression of what makes you feel comfortable and what you would like or not like to happen within the relationship. Remember, healthy boundaries shouldn’t restrict your ability to:
Go out with your friends without your partner Participate in activities and hobbies you like Not have to share passwords to your email, social media accounts or phone Respect each other’s individual likes and needs
What Isn’t a Healthy Relationship?Relationships that are not healthy are based on power and control, not equality and respect. In the early stages of an abusive relationship, you may not think the unhealthy behaviors are a big deal. However, possessiveness, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, humiliation, pulling hair, pushing or other negative, abusive behaviors, are — at their root — exertions of power and control. Remember that abuse is always a choice and you deserve to be respected. There is no excuse for abuse of any kind. If you think your relationship is unhealthy, it’s important to think about your safety now. Consider these points as you move forward:
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1 - Understand that a person can only change if they want to. You can’t force your partner to alter their behavior if they don’t believe they’re wrong.2 - Focus on your own needs. Are you taking care of yourself? Your wellness is always important. Watch your stress levels, take time to be with friends, get enough sleep. If you find that your relationship is draining you, consider ending it.3 - Connect with your support systems. Often, abusers try to isolate their partners. Talk to your friends, family members, teachers and others to make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need. Remember, advocates are always ready to talk if you need a listening ear.4 - Think about breaking up. Remember that you deserve to feel safe and accepted in your relationship.
These strategies can help you establish an atmosphere of cooperative problem-solving. If you feel the relationship has deteriorated to a point where these methods can't be tried, you may want to consider a neutral, non-judgmental third party to mediate the discussions.
Discussion Questions:
1 - Why do you think it can be so scary to get close with someone and show them who we really are?2 - How we communicate is really important in a relationship. Can you think of a situation where you or someone else had an argument because of poor communication and explain how that could have been avoided or fixed more efficiently?3 - If you’ve ever had a partner, how do you determine boundaries? How do you handle a situation that has gone past your comfort zone?
Activities:
Pop Culture Relationships: One at a time, participants should give their name and one fictional or pop culture couple who have a healthy relationship or unhealthy relationship (must identify whether they think the relationship is healthy or unhealthy).
Four large sheets of paper (flip-chart size or bigger) should be hung around the room (or if necessary use a white or black board) with one of the questions below written at the top of each piece of paper:
1 - When I see someone in a healthy relationship, I see them doing things like: (you cannot use words, you must draw stick figures doing activities that are illustrative of a healthy relationship!) 2 - When I hear someone in a healthy relationship, I hear them saying things like: (write words or statements you might hear people in a good relationship say to each other) 3 - When someone is in a healthy relationship, they usually feel like: (what are the emotions you might feel if you were in a healthy relationship) 4 - When I hear or see someone in an unhealthy relationship, I see or hear them doing things like: (you can write words or draw pictures)
Divide the participants into four groups, and assign each group to one of the pieces of paper. Each group needs a marker(s). The instructor needs a clock or watch with a second hand. Explain
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the activity. Each group will have 2 minutes to write or draw all the ideas that they can come up with to finish the statement written at the top of their paper. They will rotate to each of the other papers and have the same time limit. Groups cannot write what the previous group wrote! Encourage the teens to read what the groups before them wrote.
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Session #5: Representations of Women in the Media
Goals:
Participants will learn how to recognize when women have been misrepresented in the media
Participants’ awareness of the portrayal of women will sharpen Participants may have motivation to reach for higher goals for themselves and feel
empowered
Curricular Content:
Watch the 3 minute video about gender representation: http://time.com/3657419/sexist-media-moments-2014/.
Women in the MediaMany would agree that some strides have been made in how the media portray women in film, television and magazines, and that the last few decades have also seen a growth in the presence and influence of women in media behind the scenes. Nevertheless, female stereotypes continue to thrive in the media we consume every day.
The pressure put on women through ads, television, film and new media to be sexually attractive—and sexually active—is profound. While this is nothing new, research has found that women’s representation in popular media has steadily become more and more sexualized over the last forty years. Many researchers argue that the over-representation of thin women in mass media reinforces the conclusion that “physically attractive” and “sexually desirable” mean “thin.” The fascination with finding out what men really want also tends to keep female characters in film and television busy. A 2008, study of female leads in G-rated films found that nearly all were valued primarily for their appearance and were focused primarily on winning the love of a male character.
TV writers and producers may also be more inclined to create shows aimed at men, and to give key roles to men, because that’s what they know: as of 2009, just over a quarter of the Writers Guild of America, which represents TV and film writers, were women. Whether having women behind the screen makes a difference in the number of female characters varies depending on the medium: when at least one writer on a film is a woman the number of female characters rises from 30 to 40 percent, while on TV – perhaps because of the more collaborative “writers’ room” approach taken in TV writing – the presence of women in the writing staff has a much smaller effect, raising the number of female characters from 39 to 43 percent.
Women ProfessionalsAlthough there has been a steady increase in the number of women professionals over the past 20 years, most mainstream press coverage continues to rely on men as experts in the fields of business, politics and economics. Women in the news are more likely to be featured in stories about accidents, natural disasters, or domestic violence than in stories about their professional abilities or expertise.
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Women in PoliticsWomen in politics are similarly sidelined. Canadian journalist Jenn Goddu studied newspaper and magazine coverage of three women’s lobby groups over a 15-year period. She discovered that journalists tend to focus on the domestic aspects of the politically active woman’s life (such as “details about the high heels stashed in her bag, her habit of napping in the early evening, and her lack of concern about whether or not she is considered ladylike”) rather than her position on the issues.
Female AthletesMedia images of women in sports are also very different from the familiar pictures of male athletes in action. Female athletes are increasingly photographed in what Professor Pat Griffin calls “hyper-sexualized poses.” Griffin notes, “When it was once enough to feminize women athletes, now it is necessary to sexualize them for men. Instead of hearing, ‘I am woman, hear me roar,’ we are hearing ‘I am hetero-sexy, watch me strip.’”
“Beauty Before Brains”When well-respected news-show host Greta Van Susteren moved from CNN to Fox in early 2002, she not only had a makeover; she surgically altered her face to appear younger and more “beautiful.” When her new show, On the Record, premiered, her hair was perfectly coiffed and she sat behind a table so viewers could see her short skirt and legs.
Robin Gerber notes that, “Before her surgery, Van Susteren had been an increasingly visible beacon projecting the hope that women had made progress. You believed that she had made it in television because she was so smart, clearly the best legal analyst on the air.” However, her surgery symbolizes what many analysts have argued for decades: that the way a woman looks is far more important than what she has to say.
Power to the WomanStudies show that a difference can be made when women hold positions of power. In 2000, women editors and journalists took over the newsroom for one day at a newspaper in Wichita Falls, Texas. For the day’s top story a choice had to be made between a crime-stopper’s story about a peeping tom and an item about local women fighting for equal rights. When the women opted for the latter story, a heated argument erupted. Journalist Laurence Pantin reports that “the women finally won, but only because they held the key positions on that day.”
French television devotes five to nine percent more news coverage to women than do the other media—clearly the result of more women journalists working in television than in the radio and newspaper industries. The same study showed that women journalists select six percent more stories on women than men journalists.
Author Kathi Maio reminds us that the march to equality for women in media has had strides forward and setbacks. She writes: “Our story has never been one of steady progress. For example, more women were directing movies in the 1920s (when the industry was new and more open) than in the 1950s. And there were more positive, empowered roles for women in the early ’30s than in the early ’70s.”
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As women continue to struggle for equality in the media, Lauzen’s research shows that the biggest difference is made by the women who actually work in the industry. Behind the scenes, they can have a definite impact on the ways women are portrayed on the screen and in print. Lauzen concludes, “When women have more powerful roles in the making of a movie or TV show, we know that we also get more powerful female characters on-screen, women who are more real and more multi-dimensional.”
Discussion Questions:
1 - Have you noticed this misrepresentation of women when you watch TV? Are there any actresses/musicians/fashion icons you look up to and aspire to look like?2 - Why do you think it is important for women to be fairly represented in the media?3 - Were you surprised by some of the statistics? Was anything mentioned that you didn’t notice before that has made you think differently?
Activities:
Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=k8vD7frgQq8 and fill out the worksheet with these activities and questions: http://selfesteem.dove.ca/en/assets/downloadable/SchoolWorkshopsforBodyConfidenceActivitySheets.pdf
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Session #6: Leadership & Being a Role Model or Mentor
Goals:
Participants will learn about qualities of a good role model Participants will identify positive qualities in themselves to focus on Participants will walk away with a better understanding of the impact a role model has on
other people who look up to them Participants will be able to identify good and poor qualities and choices of the role
models they have looked up to in the past
Curricular Content:
True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have, and those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people. They help us to advocate for ourselves and take a leadership position on the issues that we believe in. Younger individuals usually benefit from having a relationship with someone older and wiser to mentor them. Although the mentor might be a teacher, family member or more experienced peer, not everyone is suitable to be an influential, positive role model. Effective role models possess desirable characteristics that make them easy to look up to. They inspire others to make changes and strive toward new goals. If you are seeking a suitable candidate to serve as a role model to someone you care about, it helps to be aware of the qualities necessary to best fulfill the role.
Qualities of Good Role Models:
MoralA good role model has high moral values. Research conducted by developmental psychologist Marilyn Price-Mitchell and reported on her website, Roots of Action, found that children respect those who practice what they preach. Role models who support worthwhile causes and who are willing to act on their beliefs help children develop and strengthen their own values. Role models behave ethically and demonstrate honesty.
ConfidentMost people admire those who project confidence. Good role models have a healthy appreciation of their accomplishments. They are able to acknowledge their skills and achievements without becoming arrogant. Child development specialist and author Dr. Robyn Silverman suggests on her website that healthy self-confidence manifests as pride in who you are and what you've learned throughout your life.
HardworkingRole models demonstrate their commitment to a desired goal and are willing to invest the necessary time and effort to achieve success. They do not give up easily and they persevere when confronted by obstacles. Their passion to succeed inspires younger individuals to follow through and reach the goals they set for themselves. Olympic athletes, for example, motivate others through their dedication.
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RespectfulIn order for role models to be influential, they must show respect for others. Young people appreciate being treated with respect and admire those who treat them and others that way. Role models who demonstrate selflessness and a democratic, non-prejudiced view of those different from themselves earn the admiration of others.
Optimistic and CreativeRole models inspire others with an upbeat, optimistic outlook on life. It's unlikely that anyone would want to emulate a pessimistic individual. Role models tend to see the bright side in difficult situations and can find creative solutions to their problems. For example, a community leader faced with a financial setback might welcome the opportunity to organize a fundraising project that pulls everyone together in a constructive manner.
How to Positively Influence Your Peers and Younger People as a Role Model or Mentor:
Demonstrate confidence and leadership. A good role model is someone who is always positive, calm, and confident in themselves. You do not want someone who is down or tries to bring you down. Everyone likes a person who is happy with how far they have come, but continues to strive for bigger and better objectives.
Do not be afraid to be unique. Whatever you choose to do with your life, be proud of the person you’ve become, even if that means accepting some ridicule. You want role models who won’t pretend to be someone they are not, and will not be false just to suit other people.
Communicate and interact with everyone. Good communication means listening as well as talking. People are energized by leaders who explain why and where they are going. Great role models know they have to have a consistent message, and repeat it over and over again until everyone understands.
Show respect and concern for others. You may be driven, successful, and smart but whether you choose to show respect or not speaks volumes about how other people see you. Everyone notices if you are taking people for granted, not showing gratitude, or stepping on others to get ahead.
Be knowledgeable and well rounded. Great role models are not just “teachers.” They are constant learners, challenge themselves to get out of their comfort zones, and surround themselves with smarter people. When team members see that their role model can be many things, they will learn to stretch themselves in order to be successful.
Have humility and willingness to admit mistakes. Nobody is perfect. When you make a bad choice, let those who are watching and learning from you know that you made a mistake and how you plan to correct it. By apologizing, admitting your mistake, and accepting accountability, you will be demonstrating an often overlooked part of being a role model.
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Do good things. People who do the work, yet find time for good causes outside of work, such as raising money for charity, saving lives, and helping people in need get extra credit. Commitment to a good cause implies a strong commitment to the business.
Discussion Questions:
1 - Tell us about someone who you’ve looked up to as a role model or mentor. Why did you look up to them and how did they help you?2- Are you a role model to anyone (younger siblings, elementary children, or friends)? How do you help them?3- After learning about this topic, how do you think you can improve in your mentoring skills?
Activity:
Follow the LeaderHave everyone (including the leader) stand up and form a wide circle.1. The leader will begin by pointing to one person in the circle and keep their arm raised and
pointed. The person they are pointing at will point to another person and so on until everyone is pointing at someone.
2. The leader will then instruct everyone to memorize the person they are pointing at and put their arms down. The leader will explain that the girls need to follow that person through the remainder of the activity, doing everything that they are doing.
3. The leader will begin a series of motions that are fluid and nonstop, that will begin to be mimicked by all others.
4. Once the activity has run its course, each participant can see the influence they have on others in the group. Sit down in the circle and discuss the following points: What was the purpose of the activity? Was it difficult to watch only one person? What happened to the motions when they got to the last person? How does this relate to being a role model? What are the impacts of your actions?
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Session #7: Volunteerism & Community Involvement
Goals:
Participants will understand the importance of giving back to the community Participants will appreciate the rewards and benefits that community service offers Participants will be exposed to a variety of community service opportunities available to
them in Bloomington-Normal and understand how to seek them out Participants will have the opportunity to volunteer for a one-time experience with OSF
St. Joseph Medical Center
Curricular Content:
As a student in (junior) high school, we are sure that by now you’ve heard about the importance of volunteering and giving back to your community. While you may have heard this mantra before, have you ever acted on it? Have you ever taken the time to get to know your community and discover the areas you can impact directly? If not, today we will take the time to understand how you can begin giving back to your community in small, but meaningful ways, and also understand why volunteerism is important to not only the community, but to your growth and development as an individual.
Let’s begin by identifying why volunteerism and community service is a good idea:
It's good for you: volunteering provides physical and mental rewards. It: Reduces stress: experts report that when you focus on someone other than yourself, it
interrupts usual tension-producing patterns. Makes you healthier: moods and emotions, like optimism, joy, and control over one's
decisions, strengthen the immune system.
It saves resources: volunteering provides valuable community services so more money can be spent on local improvements. As of 2015, the estimated value of a volunteer's time is $15.39 per hour.
Volunteers gain professional experience: as a (junior) high school student, you can begin testing out your career ambitions and volunteer in a field in which you have an interest. This professional experience will be valuable in the future and will help to start building your resume early.
It brings people together: as a volunteer you assist in: Uniting people from diverse backgrounds to work toward a common goal. Building camaraderie and teamwork.
It promotes personal growth and self-esteem: understanding community needs helps foster empathy and self-efficacy. As you’ll recall from the Respecting Yourself & Others session a few weeks ago, building your self-esteem is important to your personal growth and development; volunteering awards you the opportunity to begin early.
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Volunteering strengthens your community: as a volunteer you can help every demographic by volunteering your time in a variety of ways (this is in no way an exhaustive list!): Support families (daycare and eldercare) Improve schools (tutoring and literacy) Support youth (mentoring and after-school programs) Beautify the community (communal park cleanups) Assist healthcare (hospitals and urgent care facilities)
You learn a lot: volunteers learn things like these: Self: volunteers discover hidden talents that may change your view on your self-worth. Government: through working with local non-profit agencies, volunteers learn about the
functions and operation of our government. Community: volunteers gain knowledge of local resources available to solve community
needs.
You get a chance to give back: people like to support community resources that they use themselves or that benefit people they care about.
Volunteering encourages civic responsibility: community service and volunteerism are an investment in our community and the people who live in it.
You make a difference: every person counts! Make an impact in the lives of those around you!
We know that volunteering for yourself and others is important, but sometimes it can be hard to know where to find your local volunteer opportunities. In Bloomington-Normal, we’re fortunate to have the United Way of McLean County, whose mission is to improve lives by mobilizing the caring power of communities around the world to advance the common good. In a nutshell, the United Way helps you find and identify the areas in your home community that need volunteers like you!
While the United Way of McLean County does a wonderful job of collecting all the opportunities in your local area, you can also utilize services such as Volunteer Match, which helps you not only locate local volunteer opportunities, but also helps you identify which volunteer opportunities might be a good fit for you. If you or your family belongs to a church, oftentimes you can find volunteer opportunities there as well. You may even consider stopping by your school’s guidance counselor’s office to discuss your interest areas. Guidance counselors may have suggestions or recommendations for volunteer opportunities that fit your career interests. In sum, there are infinite amounts of ways you can seek out volunteer opportunities right here in Bloomington-Normal.
Discussion Questions:
1 – What kind of volunteer opportunities have you participated in before? Do you have any volunteer opportunities planned for this summer (fall/spring)?
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2 – If you have volunteered before, what kinds of emotions/feelings did you have after the work was completed? Did you feel good about the work you accomplished? 3 – How have you sought out volunteer opportunities in the past? Did you have help or assistance finding volunteer opportunities in the past? Did your family and friends help? 4 – How can you ensure that you volunteer in the future? What tactics can you employ to make sure that you commit the time to helping others in your community?
Activities:
Let’s Volunteer NOW: OSF St. Joseph Medical Center provides handwritten/homemade cards to all of its patients on meal trays. This program is coordinated by the Volunteer Services department, who accepts homemade cards at any time throughout the year. As a group, have all participants create “get well” cards for OSF patients. Do not include last names or personal information; you may include that you are a Girls Be U participant with the YWCA McLean County. Simply share a get well wish in a creative way. All cards created can be delivered to OSF and dropped off in the Business & Conference Center to the Volunteer Services department.
What Needs Our Help?: Have the participants divide into three teams. The first team will be assigned to volunteer efforts at school. The second team will be assigned to volunteer efforts in their neighborhood. The third team will be assigned to volunteer efforts in the community. Have the participants brainstorm at least 5 areas of opportunity in each category. Once completed, have the teams present their list to the larger group. Ask one participant to take notes of what was reported and make copies for everyone to take home. At the end of the session, all participants will have at least 15 ways to volunteer that they can take with them as a physical reminder to get involved!
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Session #8: Being a Lifelong Learner
Goals:
Participants will understand the value of continuing educational opportunities Participants will understand that learning does not have to take place in a formal
classroom setting; learning occurs everywhere (and all throughout life) Participants will discover what their preferred learning style is Participants will understand how to get the most out of their unique learning style
Curricular Content:
Being a lifelong learner is an important concept to understand and identify with early on in life. As a student in (junior) high school, you may sometimes feel burned out with the amount of homework, tests, and projects you’re asked to complete. You may often feel overwhelmed with the thought of balancing your schoolwork, extra-curricular activities, friends, etc. You probably look forward to summer breaks when learning is not at the forefront of your mind. While breaks from the daily grind are important (and needed!), understanding that learning never takes a day off is instrumental to success in the future.
Abraham Lincoln said, "I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." This opens the premise that learning is a daily adventure that one carries and explores throughout life. Learning does not stop just because school does. People who are truly effective generally did not get that way by sitting still, they apply themselves to constant learning and competing against themselves to grow and learn day by day. By making a commitment to yourself to learn something new every day, you will not only enjoy what you discover, but you will be able to apply your knowledge and become a teacher to future generations.
Before discovering the value of being a lifelong learner though, it is important to know and understand what types of learning can occur and what works best for you by completing this quiz: http://www.educationplanner.org/students/self-assessments/learning-styles-quiz.shtml (this quiz can be completed if multiple computers are available OR ask the participants to complete the quiz prior to attending this session and bring their results).
There are three kinds of learners: auditory, visual and tactile.
Auditory: if you are an auditory learner, you learn by hearing and listening. You understand and remember things you have heard. You store information by the way it sounds, and you have an easier time understanding spoken instructions than written ones. You often learn by reading out loud because you have to hear it or speak it in order to know it. As an auditory learner, you probably hum or talk to yourself or others if you become bored. People may think you are not paying attention, even though you may be hearing and understanding everything being said. Remember that you need to hear things, not just see things, in order to learn well.
Here are some things that auditory learners can do to learn better:
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Sit where you can hear Have your hearing checked on a regular basis Use flashcards to learn new words; read them out loud Read stories, assignments, or directions out loud Record yourself spelling words and then listen to the recording Have test questions read to you out loud Study new material by reading it out loud
Visual: if you are a visual learner, you learn by reading or seeing pictures. You understand and remember things by sight. You can picture what you are learning in your head, and you learn best by using methods that are primarily visual. You like to see what you are learning.As a visual learner, you are usually neat and clean. You often close your eyes to visualize or remember something, and you will find something to watch if you become bored. You may have difficulty with spoken directions and may be easily distracted by sounds. You are attracted to color and to spoken language (like stories) that is rich in imagery. Remember that you need to see things, not just hear things, to learn well.
Here are some things that visual learners can do to learn better: Sit near the front of the classroom Have your eyesight checked on a regular basis Use flashcards to learn new words Try to visualize things that you hear or things that are read to you Write down key words, ideas, or instructions Draw pictures to help explain new concepts and then explain the pictures Color code things Avoid distractions during study times
Tactile: if you are a tactile learner, you learn by touching and doing. You understand and remember things through physical movement. You are a "hands-on" learner who prefers to touch, move, build, or draw what you learn, and you tend to learn better when some type of physical activity is involved. You need to be active and take frequent breaks, you often speak with your hands and with gestures, and you may have difficulty sitting still. As a tactile learner, you like to take things apart and put things together, and you tend to find reasons to tinker or move around when you become bored. You may be very well coordinated and have good athletic ability. You can easily remember things that were done but may have difficulty remembering what you saw or heard in the process. You often communicate by touching, and you appreciate physically expressed forms of encouragement, such as a pat on the back. Remember that you learn best by doing, not just by reading, seeing, or hearing.
Here are some things that tactile learners can do to learn better: Participate in activities that involve touching, building, moving, or drawing Do lots of hands-on activities like completing art projects, taking walks, or acting out stories It's okay to chew gum, walk around, or rock in a chair while reading or studying Use flashcards and arrange them in groups to show relationships between ideas Trace words with your finger to learn spelling (finger spelling) Take frequent breaks during reading or studying periods (frequent, but not long)
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It's okay to tap a pencil, shake your foot, or hold onto something while learning Use a computer to reinforce learning through the sense of touch
Understanding how you learn best is your key to success. Once you’ve identified if you are an auditory, visual or tactile learner, you not only will be able to apply this to your daily academics, but will also be able to carry this information with you for life. As mentioned above, being a lifelong learner is instrumental to a bright future. Lifelong learning is important because formal education simply cannot prepare you for all of the opportunities that you will encounter. Your formal education is contained in a classroom, and teachers help monitor course content and the problems within that content to keep everything well-structured. In the world beyond school though, problems are ill-structured and messy. You have to be prepared to learn beyond the walls of the classroom.
As you consider what being a lifelong learner means to you, here are some practical and tactical approaches you can start considering and lining up now:
Develop your skills as a leader: developing and improving upon your leadership skills should be a daily practice. Be mindful of your strengths and downfalls and make plans to improve upon any negatives in your leadership style.
Get out of your comfort zone: developing the skills and knowledge necessary to be successful requires you to step out of your comfort zone. Take risks and force yourself to participate in opportunities that are not the norm for you!
Obtain an advanced degree: in the increasingly competitive work environment, a smart woman knows she must have an advanced degree on her resume. Obtaining an advanced degree not only makes you more apt to take on bigger challenges, but it also allows you to learn from peers in other industries and fields.
Find a mentor: mentors can add tremendous value to your life both personally and professionally. Finding a valuable mentor allows you to gain knowledge, build lasting relationships and develop professionally. A well-rounded individual seeks mentors from multiple backgrounds, therefore enhancing their mentorship experience. When looking for mentors, make sure that the relationship has a good balance of give and take, allowing you to build a mutually beneficial relationship. Before you meet with a mentor, establish a plan and develop a vision with concrete goals, and be sure to revisit your plan regularly.
Discussion Questions:
1 – What is your learning style? How have you been able to harness your learning style in the past and what plans can you make for the future? 2 – Are there pros and cons to each learning style? Do you think one learning style is better than another? Why? 3 – How can you take your learning style and apply it to being a lifelong learner? How can your individual learning style enable you to be successful in life?
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4 – What things can you do now that will ensure that you can become a lifelong learner? Are their goals or initiatives you can set for yourself that will help you be sure you follow through?
Activities:
Think, Pair, Share: have all participants reflect for 10-15 minutes and create a “To-Learn” list. Individually, all participants should write down all the things they want to learn about in life. The list can be extremely detailed, or very general. The idea is to have all participants have a tangible list of areas of interests to pursue. When the lists are completed, ask all participants to partner with another and share their lists. After 5 minutes of sharing, have the group come together as a whole and ask for volunteers to share their “To-Learn” list. By sharing, it may prompt additional items to be added to everyone’s lists.
A Letter to the Future: after the “To-Learn” list has been created, ask each participant to draft a letter to themselves to be read in 1 year. The letter should incorporate a promise to become a lifelong learner and detail at least 2 things from their list that they wish to learn about in the next year. The letter does not have to be detailed, but does need to include tactical goals that will be accomplished within the next year. Have each participant address an envelope and place the letter inside. As a facilitator of the activity, you are charged with mailing these letters in one year to the past participants of Girls Be U.
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Session #9: Thinking About the Future
Goals:
Participants will understand the importance of setting goals and thinking about smart decisions at an early age
Participants will learn how to create goals utilizing the SMART goals method Participants will have the opportunity to reflect on their future decisions Participants will benefit from completing a career assessment and learning about the
potential occupations that fit their skillset and personality
Curricular Content:
As a teenager, you may not have had the opportunity to think about your future plans further than the day you receive your high school diploma. While this particular date is incredibly important and an amazing accomplishment, it marks the first day of the rest of your life to determine what your next course of action will be. Will you continue on to community college? Will you enter into a four year university? Will you join the United States Armed Forces? Will you immediately join the workforce and find a job you’re excited about? There are many decisions and many options for you to both make and consider, and believe it or not, the time to start making those decisions is now!
As a child, you may have been asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Oftentimes children answer with the President of the United States, a firefighter, a doctor, or a lawyer. Are those once desired career fields still of interest to you? Or have your goals, plans and dreams changed as you have grown older? While you may have already completed a similar assessment in school, please complete this skills assessment: http://www.iseek.org/careers/skillsAssessment and make note of your results (again, you can have the participants complete this if multiple computers are available or have them complete the quiz and bring their answers with them). The skills assessment is an important tool to start identifying your career field early so you can know the steps to take now to set yourself up for success in the future.
After reviewing your results from the career assessment, hopefully you have identified with at least a handful of potential career paths. With this information in mind, it is important to start mapping out your goals for the future and understanding what path you need to take to be successful (for example, if your chosen career path is to be a lawyer, you need to start making decisions that will keep you on that path…choosing a four year institution that will prepare you for law school, etc.). One way to create your goals is to use the SMART goals method. Once you have identified the topic of your overarching goal, you can turn your attention to developing several objectives that will enable you to be successful. Goals and objectives should be SMART - specific, measurable, agreed upon, realistic and time-based. The acronym SMART has a number of slightly different variations, which can be used to provide a more comprehensive definition for goal setting:
S - specific, significant, stretchingM - measurable, meaningful, motivational
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A - agreed upon, attainable, achievable, acceptable, action-orientedR - realistic, relevant, reasonable, rewarding, results-orientedT - time-based, time-bound, timely, tangible, trackable
Specific Well defined Clear to anyone that has a basic knowledge of the project
Measurable Know if the goal is obtainable and how far away completion is Know when it has been achieved
Agreed Upon Agreement with all the stakeholders what the goals should be
Realistic Within the availability of resources, knowledge and time
Time-Based Enough time to achieve the goal Not too much time, which can affect project performance
Creating SMART goals is more difficult than it looks and takes practice. Here is an example that might help you see the difference between a broad goal and a SMART goal, and might help you craft your own:
Broad Goal: “I want to be more successful in my consulting business.”
SMART Goal: “I will acquire three new clients for my consulting business within two months by asking for referrals, launching a social media marketing campaign and networking with local businesses. This will allow me to grow my business and increase my revenue.”
You will notice that all the SMART components have been utilized:
S – grow the business and increase revenueM – acquire three new clients A – achieved by asking for referrals, launching social media & networking with local businessesR – identified all resources available T – to be completed in two months
Discussion Questions:
1 – What results did your skills assessment provide you with? Were these results surprising or exactly on par with your future plans? 2 – What are some of the things you need to start thinking about now that will set you up for success in the future? How can you start to map out a plan for your future education? 3 – Can you create a SMART goal for anything you wish to accomplish? Or are SMART goals only for education and future careers? 4 – Have you ever set a goal for yourself before and were able to accomplish it? What kinds of feelings and emotions did you have after accomplishing that goal?
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Activities:
Practice Being SMART: Have all participants practice creating a SMART goal by utilizing this worksheet: http://trio.ucsd.edu/_files/staff_forms/SMART%20goal%20setting%20sheet – all participants should be encouraged to utilize their skills assessment results to craft a SMART goal specific to their future career. However, if a participant would like to focus on an alternative goal, that is acceptable.
Silent Brainstorming: Hang on the wall 5 large posters. Title each poster with these categories: Educator, Doctor, Lawyer, Politician and Artist. Break the participants up into pairs and provide each participant team with a stack of post-it notes and a pen each. Place everyone at a station and instruct everyone to silently brainstorm steps they would need to take to achieve the job title written on their poster (ex: for a lawyer, one of the post-it notes would say law school…another may say attend a four year institution). The partners can work together or independently. The idea is to place as many post-it notes on the posters that identify the steps you need to take to be successful in this field. Participants should walk away from the activity understanding that there are things they can start doing now that will help them prepare for their future careers.
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Resources
Session #1: Team Building & Small Group Communicationhttp://www.mhhe.com/socscience/comm/group/students/theory.htm
Session #2: Expressing Yourself & Releasing Energy in a Positive Mannerhttp://www.austincc.edu/colangelo/1318/istatements.htm
Session #3: Respecting Yourself & Othershttp://www.wikihow.com/Respect-Yourself
Session #4: Building Healthy Relationshipshttp://www.uwec.edu/Counsel/pubs/selfhelp/bhr.htm http://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships
Session #5: Representation of Women in the Mediahttp://mediasmarts.ca/digital-media-literacy/media-issues/gender-representation/women-girls
Session #6: Leadership & Being a Role Model / Mentorhttp://www.caycon.com/blog/2010/10/seven-actions-of-a-true-role-model-entrepreneur/ & http://www.livestrong.com/article/58883-qualities-good-role-model/
Session #7: Volunteerism & Community Involvement https://students.ucsd.edu/student-life/involvement/community/reasons.html
Session #8: Being a Lifelong Learner http://www.wikihow.com/Make-the-Most-of-Your-Learning-Style
Session #9: Thinking About the Future http://www.iseek.org/careers/skillsAssessment