gleanings of interior man a scrapbook by fahredin shehu

8/14/2019 Gleanings of Interior Man a Scrapbook by Fahredin Shehu

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Photo by Veton Vehapi

Gleanings of interior manSmall DIWAN of Urban Sufi form the Balkan


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By NUN

Synopsis

Prelude for cosmic entity in recess of human heart

1. Inner language

2. Inner sound

3. Inner image

4. Inner self

5. NUN a background of a cosmic manifestation

6. Interview with NUN

7. Poetry a channel for self outpour

8. Calligraphy a crystallization of poetic fluid

9. Reconciliation with personal devil

10. Retreat in the recess of own heart

11. A blossom of self rebellion

12. Lucid manifestation of will

13. Gleanings of heart dilemmas

14. Tranquility and Love

15. Maturity of self

16. Daduchos- a torch barrier

17. Discovery of a sparkling truth

18. Now, here, healing

19. Appendix Mulberries- the lost script


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20. Conclusion

Prelude for cosmic entity in recess of human heart

In the name of Thy, with the name of Nun1, with the aim of Kun2

for you writing the EMERALD TABLET of our century my dear NUN I do. For youThe birth is never-ending beginningThe sky speaks in the language of the Lover

Love is up, down, in the front, behind and sleeps in the heart

You are the beginning

Everything exists everything what mind take for grantedThe pain is reimbursed with Love

Happiness is illuminated SEX

The lie undresses the truth as a bridegroom undresses the brideThe transformation of milk into blood is the most realistic Alchemy

The poetry blossoms in the heart and speaks as angel as black color on the white

The God speaks to you only by ACT

And then you wrote the love song for the Godling with compassionate look that

infrasonic speech speaks freedom bestowed from the highest heaven.

YOU KISS MY TEAR AND SEAL GODS EXISTANCE

I KISS YOU AND DISSOLVE IN GODS ESSENCE

Let this be the entry into the threshold of the entity that passes the Emerald Macadam

accompanied with the most refined creatures producing supersensible melodies by their

moves, and the perfumes that evaporates by their souls and the pomegranate liquor to

obey the thirsty soul, and the torch of their heart that beams directly to your heart andilluminates your conscience till the most pleasant faint ever.

And you are the silent shriek of the Paradise gates heard only by diamond shiny souls that

blinds the eyes of curious mortals just as the darkness blinds the eyes of the bat.

1 NUN, is the letter of Arabic alphabet , as the symbol of knowledge2 KUN, is the Arabic word composed of two letters KEF and NUN, meaning be, becoming


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And you are the process of making awareness for our century and those to come for those

to come and walk silently passing through the lost Kinvat of Zardusht.

And you are the light that cherishes the skins dried of burning Suns of all known andunknown galaxies. Be the hidden bee of the last Sarmouni here. So be it

and please be pleased with my pleasure

1. Inner language

Have you ever heard? The voice that once is eternally captured as fly in amber finds

difficulties to release and became audible. Have you ever listened that voice that tells you

silently to cover your meaning and the truth emerging from it that says you are not God.Have you ever tried to find the channel to outpour that voice? Which lies dormant

waiting to see the hole of hope to understand you?

Yesit was October 1983 on a circumcision party. The sun was on its zenith just like thesummer in the Balkans. With the T-shirt with TITOs 3 red star and shorts he walked

around with others, mixed to finally realize that he is also human. Being out means being

subjected to environmental harsh aggressors and his fragility went that far so he could

only understand the words of creatures other than human. But with humans ohthem, hewould only smile and show that appearance akin to theirs and nothing else.

All kids were happy to be there all of them were playing hide and seek in the midday and

while running with the mouth full of sweets of different kinds. Its celebration of course.

Nun was everyday fed with boiled eggs and salt till he was seven what made him unusual

in his appearance and in his behavior. That much care! Oh my God; others were sayingrepeatedly. But it was a sign in his forehead epidermis looked that cosmic constellation of

red spots that that visitor clairvoyant seen them as angelic kiss, as a seal that marked

eternally somebody who will suffer to show his real nature with permanent fear thatnobody will be able to percept that exposure. Yet he was able to struggle and show his

human side which later artist will define him as Angeloid4 , and pay extra attention to his

talk, his walk and his act to be described in the book of remarkable men.

On that very shiny day of October he went out and played so much with other kids that he

discovered another type of freedom, but he could not follow the velocity of the motion

creatures seen as humans. But this time this freedom had its cost and the cost was the lossof contact with supersensible vibrations. After a circular run around the big garden all

kids disappeared and he remained alone felt like flying showing only a barking dog that

looked like having a mouse head once and the second as crocodile, changing shapes ofhis head. He was not afraid but felt happy instead moving slowly stepping carefully

3 Josip Broz Tito, Former former Yugoslav president, Communist era prior to final disintegration of

Yugoslavia4 A creature between human and angel


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losing the ground beneath his feet and felt that he is flying and flying. And while flying

there were a plentitude of voices he couldnt recognize, just like in dreams when you

thoroughly lost yourself and forget the reality, which is difficult that to be. Somebody orsomeone was trying to tell the untold story in the language where the articulation is going

beyond frontiers of human understanding and found the medium to outpour the fluid

message of eternity. Its not revelation of course, he was to young for such combustion ofthe fragile organic entity known as human, more precisely a boy with the mark in his

forehead.

What was he able to understand was the buzzing in small ears sometimes feeling the

pressure marking the ground with the seal of sport shoes produced somewhere in Croatia.

Returning from the episode lasting only few seconds, into the round table full of food to

join other kids, with the neon face and shining hairs, with the quivering voice exhaustedtill the last drop of blood and fat dissolved into water elements to keep the flow of life in

previous manner. With the immaculate smile in wide face trying to remembers forever the

experience yet with the fear not to tell anyone otherwise he will be crucified with the

inexhaustible laugh by parents in the beginning then by the surrounding counterpartshumiliating and labeling him as pauper.

The food was excellent, and that was the thing he could only relax with and breathe deep

to finally find rest maybe just for a while. What he could understand were the words he

muttered unconsciously so ANKA could hear and feel confused.

IM PART OF THE SAME GRAVITY

BUT MY PEAK KISSES THE WHITE CLOUDS

Even approximately I cannot describe the quiescent pain in my backspin, through which

with the century souls of every color passed, while minstrel in the late seasons of life,stupefied with being eternal children which for senility have no idea.

Hasan5 was that type of creature who knew about the emptied cups and the way how do

they fill them, but somehow he lacked the ability to color liquors standing there with the

readiness to cascade in only sometimes he was so convicted in the veracity of hiswords which matched to the facts so he openly said, without turning laterally to see

people who thinks different and sees talking for themselves in superlative.

Looking realistically his perception of these conscious moments as his own and his

moment was driven by completely somebody else.His already known outcry IM PART OF THE SAME GRAVITY BUT MY PEAKKISSES THE WHITE CLOUDS, once upon a time was the most expressive shriek andcontinuously repeated blasphemy for them was queued as another indescribable

blasphemy, and now as the sound of the church bells which sounds without voice.

5 From Arabic, the good one


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2. Interview with NUN

1. Unknown

Are you human?

NUN

Well, people often do not answer to such questions. This is not such bizarre question for

something which is that much obvious. It appears accidentally/deliberately by strongcosmic hand to have human shape in order to avoid fear from normal mortals so they can

recognize as life, as something known, not as unknown, as death, as fear from deathconsequently by ignorance. You might see, how flowers are opening and smiling, howchildren smiles when they see something angelic in the front

2. Unknown

Are you afraid of being mixed with people of different levels?

NUN

No, definitely. This diversity makes me sing my octaves silently so I can play myinvisible dance thoroughly, undisturbed by the psychology of mass after four of them.

Theres a fear of people being alone, therefore they collect into plankton on the surface,

they join the forces, confronting inner forces but strong to fight common externalaggressors and enemies.

3. Unknown

What do you do in everyday life?

NUN

Life is the most mysterious phenomenon that gurgle every second, micro-second. Its

more mysterious than death. Its partially known so rapidly running yet undiscovered. In

my everyday life I only LOVE. A day without love is dry, no flavor, no joy, no happiness,

no longing, no suffer. To suffer for love is the highest love. This is best done by writing. I

share writing, like sharing water in the desert and you know what does this mean.

4. Unknown

How do you manifest your Love?

NUN


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I do it with entire being, with my soul, with my seven bodies, with organic hands, feet,

tongue. With writing, painting, calligraphy, with lectures if we speak materialistically etc

5. Unknown

Your poems are so simple and yet so mystic. How do you find balance in all this disorder,better said in this misbalance?

NUN

Poetry has lost its place in human life, but the poets are those who keep the language

alive, those who create new words to express their feelings AS WE DO NOT HAVE

TERRESTRIAL VOCABULARY FOR CELESTIAL PHENOMENON, their discoveries

in a spiritual realm, and those who unveil the secrets of the hidden worlds. Theres nobigger mystery than in simplicity. That is the core. Simplicity is like death. Life is

complex, therefore human brain is not able to absorb life, therefore they release their

valves so the life can outpour, therefore in life the make poetry hard, complex,

overloaded with unacceptable verses. Poetry must have the purity of soul in order toachieve its goal otherwise it will become life. Poetry is beyond life, is after-life

phenomenon. Only like this it becomes mystic, since humans forgot the beauty ofeternity, from where they came from. You can not apply poetry as tool to solve daily

problems, you can not make money transfer in the bank, but you can transfer cosmic

credits from soul to soul, from heaven to earth. And heaven is in us. We have to only

open our bud and release the fragrance, to percept the Ozone of our inner heaven and seethe stars that are shinning permanently blinking showing their presence perpetually.

As for the balance its very important, you might hear the story of Buddha and the stringsof the lute, if you stretch to much they will break, if you dont stretch enough youll not

have a nice tune, then the story of Muhammed teaching the golden middle way known as

Al Wassat al Tariq, then the balance in the sculptures of Constandin Brancusi etc.The balance is very important not to loose the contact with the reader in literature or

audience in music etc. Something is as simple for somebody as he is in that cognitive

level, something for the same is not understandable, but leave it there he will return as theheart is always open as ocean so he can find his pearls next time on his return. He has to

only dive in the nekton or beneath of the ocean, he out to be eel going back and forth,

from rivers to ocean. Extreme oppression causes death just as extreme freedom causes

death, and as people wants to live they must be well balanced.

Mulber ries


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1.CAFE TOTTO-AFTERNOON-PRISHTIN

LIA came from Israel for two reasons, as tourist and as researcher. She meets BESIMwhile he sits with his friend ELIF in Caf TOTO in Prishtina.

LIAHello, you must be BESIM according to the picture youve sent by e-mail.

BESIMYes, its me and this is my friend ELIF.

ELIFHello, nice to meet you.

LIAHello, nice to meet you too.

(Waiter approaches to serve a guest)

BESIMWhat do you like to drink before we start talking?

LIADiet Coke would be fine for me.

BESIMSo how did you travel?

LIANot bad. It was safe travel.

BESIM

Its your first time in Kosov

LIA

Yes and I hope not the last.


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BESIM

So what did you expect?

LIA

I dont know I thought what this is, Im in a Muslim country but I havent seen so

much. I arrived yesterday and I stay in GRAND hotel. As I heard in the morning

the voice of muezzin I realize Im in the Muslim country.

BESIM

Look this is not Middle East; somehow we are in Europe hahaha

LIA

Yes you are.

(Waiter brings the drink)

LIA(To the waiter) Thank you very much.

WAITERWelcome.

LIA

Your friend is very silent.

BESIM

ELIF is Sufi and they usually are silent. Another reason is that his father died two

weeks ago and he is depressed mood.

LIA(To ELIF)

Please accept my condolences.

ELIF

Thank you.

LIA


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So was he sick or what?

ELIF

Somehow, his twin brother died in accident 20 years ago. By that time he became

different and ill will. I thought the war would have impact on him, but no

changes.

LIA

The war was terrible

ELIF

Wars dont have diminutives. Every war is terrible. I think every one of as has its

own history.

BESIM

Yes I agree.

LIAIs there a big Sufi community in Kosovo?

ELIFNo we are almost invisible here.

LIA

Very bad I think. I red some of RUMIs poetry and I was so impressed.

ELIF

RUMI is great.

LIA

Was your father a sheikh?

ELIF

Yes I can say so

BESIM

No he was a true sheikh, respectable, silent, thorough minded, lovable,

LIA


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I can understand your modesty ELIF. How he died?

ELIF

He decided with Gods wish. For more than a week he entered alive in his room to

exit as corpse.

(ELIF, tells his story as follows)

2. MURSHIDS ROOM/ DAYTIMES

MURSHID, an 79 years old Albanian ill Sufi, wearing pyjamas, wanders in a room full of

old ottoman manuscripts, dried fruits, a writing paraphernalia, and crumbled tapestry

with the motives of desert on the wall. He feels the rug and thrilled till the top hair as he

walks barefooted only on the left foot. More than 9 days he did not receive any guest of a

mankind except ELIF his oldest son, who treats him angelically. ELIF, a well-dressedpolite man with a feminine gentility, enters the room bringing a breeze of hope to a

bewildered senile.

ELIF

Father. Well, I simply cant refuse people to visit you, as they understood that

youve been suffering for quite a while. This is not a way to avoid people. You

know how much respectable you are here. And you also know how honored they

might be by visiting and feeling your presence. You served for ages. I simply

wander how can you ?

MURSHIDMaybe you expect to shout on you as I did from the beginning you realize about

your self. No, my belovedyou have to understand my Silentium. You must also

tell to proponents that I want to die with dignity facing Ubiquitous, and repent for

all of my sins.


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ELIFYou are talking about sins? Noooooo please dont say that. You taught me that

well all face death and Im dully convinced. But

MURSHID

WhatNo but

ELIF

But, father since we had had terrible experience during the war and thanks God

we are alive, now we must think and act toward future.

MURSHID

Are you giving me lessons? What is all this arrogance? How dare you? Youforgot my training. This is not applicable to all.

ELIF

Father, what I wanted to say is that death is far from you. You look very bright

and strong.

MURSHID

Every mountain has its own weight, I have mine so let my followers know thisand leave me to hold this weight.

(ELIF sits in a sofa, observing his father whiles his eyeballs playing in tears).

MURSHID

Youll never grow up my son. Now I see how much I wasted my time training you

in spiritual practices.

ELIF

How many times I saw you crying father? You taught me a mulberry falls

under the mulberry tree and never under Peachtree.


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MURSHID

During long nights prayers many tears I have shed. That is true. You should learn

the difference. You are crying for my perishable body. But I cried for my sins.

ELIF

Sins again?!. What have you done that was opposite to Gods wish? I know you

cant tell, as theres nothing in comparison with what a mundane ignorant isdoing.

MURSHID

To whom Im talking. I told you if for a normal servant a workload are 8 hours foras is 24. You understand? If for a normal student one lesson per day for us its the

entire book. Dont you ever forget this? Now go back in a shrine and tell

followers that the master needs a tranquility and to prepare himself for an honored

death.

ELIF, exits the room with a wet face and a heavy blood in veins hardly walking. He

realized that this is not a tranquility phase of retreat or something similar.

MURSHID sits in a sofa warming his body in a place where his son sat few minutes ago.

He opens a wooden box where he kept few very personal objects and was never detached

from them.As he recalls his childhood and all of sudden starts to speak in a normal voice as he

speaks with ELIF, he took the little parchment scroll. Its not a talisman, neither is a love

poem for his beloved wife.

MURSHID

(Recites)

Im not here

To say the pride of forgotten pastNor Im here to sing miraculously

Suras and Sutras of the Holy Scriptures

Im not here to watch fallen mulberry fruits

In river swimming as a dried leafsNor Im here to pray endlessly

As a sages to repent for


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Sinful mundane ignorant

Im here to kiss the sky in its foreheadAnd between two eyes where

The star has to spark its beauty

Im here to perfume your soul

And dry in the sunny-golden pollen

Im here too, to feed your lungs

With the air of the lost world

Eternally washed in the rivers of soul

Im the soil of your secret sowed

As a wheat seeds in the fall

Waiting spring to green the fields

And to golden summer with poppies decorated

And fireflies during short nightsDancing erotic games

Waiting fall to feed the holy stomach

Of enfant terriblePerpetually called ME

The sarcophagus of your secret

Im lost you, concentrated

In a formula dissolved

Responding on their enigmas.

(Murshid lies in bed and the beam of sunlight goes through the parchment. His pillow is

wet by sweat and tears).

MURSHID

Now I know why I kept so much attached to my soul. This is not only a song.This is more than that. This is what others can call it a crystallized fluid of a soul.

But, which soul? To whom it belongs?

I wish I could have tears to wash these verses. I wish I could abandon everythingexcept this. This is a life that is difficult to call as such.

Eh.( deep breath) my brother (Rubbing white beard slightly wet by tears)every time I open this box and I find this song, I see your soul among angels. You

died and I chose completely new direction in life. I became what I never dreamt. I

lost you but Almighty bestowed me more knowledge, a new path of life, a new

man that has layered all fears, wishes, sins, and values.


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My brother, wait for me Im coming. All I have from you is this parchment and

this poem I kept always in my soul. Please God forgive this sinful servant wholoved his brother and this love disturbed many times my prayers and my service

to Thee. So many times I melted my crystal tears and I wrote

And my crystal tears melted

In a cosmic liquor transformed

To drunk the lover in love

NESRIN

(MURSHIDs daughter interrupts his self-conversation)

Father, do you need something?

MURSHIDNo my dear... all I need is GOD.

NESRIN

Dont say that please. It means for me that youll leave us.

MURSHID

As rain going to the OCEAN. You remember what I have told you

NESRIN

Crying(exits the room as she heard somebody coming)) Ill be backing soonfather.

MURSHIDPlease set a table with lot of food and drinks for the people praying in the shrine

for me.

NESRINOK father

NUN, 75 years old gentlemen form Istanbul, very mundane merchant, the owner of

carpet shop.

He enters the room without notification; even ELIF was not around to prevent visitors

from visiting the sick man.


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NUN

To whom in the room you are talking in such a depressive voice?

MURSHIDShockeddidnt know how to behave. He tries to stand up from the bad but NUN did not

allow him.

For god sake who told you? I never dreamt youd come. I told Elif not to allow

anybody enter my room.

NUN

I know what you are able to order and do. Forget that my brother. I made a long

trip. I simply couldnt stay in Istanbul without seeing you. So I took a first plane

Istanbul-Prishtina. I spoke with ELIF by phone. He told me everything.

I was shocked to realize that such a believer can fall in depression from an

ordinary illness. I brought you from Istanbul the musk from Balkh. (He knows

that this is serious, but thus teasing him to extract some words that he would

remember after his death)

MURSHID

Heeee you call this ordinary illness. I know what you see in me, and I know

what you think. Thats why you came. You are replacing Vahid, my brother. You

are the one that never forgot me. I know this and you know this. Good you

brought musk, to perfume my corpse after some days.

NUN

Yes my brother. We both know the path we have chosen. This path leads us to

another state of existence. We already know, as we are dead before death.

MURSHID


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My days are counted. I have more fingers in my right hand then the days

remained.

Murshid moving very slowly takes an old notebook a legacy of the Sufi order from his

master. Its Evrad, a grimoire hand-written for internal use only. He gave to NUN, as he

knows it by heard and starts reciting it.

Meanwhile ELIF enters briefly interrupting them without knowing that a guest is in the

room. He is afraid that father got crazy or talking to angels before death.

ELIF

Welcome Uncle NUN, I was afraid

MURSHID

What You were afraid?

NUN

(Addressing to Murshid)

Please let him finish his word. Dont you see how much confused he is?

MURSHID

Yes I see.

ELIF

Father, people will not annoy you. They told me as the masters wish is so well

only pray for him, well pray God to bestow him Heaven.

MURSHID

Very goodand tell them not because I dont want to see them but the

circumstance is as it is.


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ELIF

Uncle NUN, shall I serve you with tea?

NUN

With two please. We are going to have together with MURSHID

MURSHID

No, nonot for me.

NUN

Why not as in old times.

MURSHIDOK OK.

(ELIF brings tea and the conversation between two old friends goes back for some 30-40years. MURSHID laying in bad started).

MURSHIDHow is business running?

NUN

Not bad. A week ago I received a contingent from Ispahan and from Diyarbakir,

as the westerners like very much the carpets from Persia and Kurdish motives, so

the Silk Road somehow is functioning. A lot of textile I have from Bursa also. You

knowBursas textile mostly I have for selling to a small enterprises for

producing furniture.

MURSHIDIm so glad. Your son Omar is helping you I guess.

NUN

He is my right hand. Without him I would never get what I have. Thanks God.

The best thing is that he follows our path and his children are in a good way.


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One more thing I still keep your small carpet you made and brought as a gift for

my marriage. Its hanged on the wall in my room so I can always look at it and

remember you.

MURSHIDMaashallah. And I always kept you in my heart especially by the death of my

brother Vahid. A part of me went in the ground. I was orphan when my mother

died for the fist time and the second time I became orphan when my wife died

while giving birth.

NUN

When you were in Istanbul during the war in Kosova, you left so much

impression to some people that they can hardly understand that there, overseahave such people. They often ask me about you.

MURSHID

Everything has its end and Im on my own end. My end in fact, begun when

Vahid died in accident. I always remember when three of us were picking

mulberries in our neighbors garden.

NUNI also do very often.

MURSHID

Driven by this while I was in Istanbul and I survived the war, I realized that I was

not yet ripening to fall as mature mulberry fruit does. It was not a death time for

me then. Now its for true. I can feel death angels hand touching my soul.

NUNYou are so much obsessed by death. Are you afraid or what? You shouldnt

behave like this as you taught many people about life and death. You taught me

many things also.


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MURSHID

Now I better understand RUMIs story in Mathanwi about the reed and his

compartment from reed-land. This is it. He was talking about soul. Im talking

about this world that Im soon leaving.

NUN

You always understood RUMI

MURSHID

Yes but now I experience it just now.

NUN

Death is the bridge we all must pass. I hope for us should be more easy since we

are different then others.

MURSHID

How do you mean different?

NUNI mean we respect people, we give charity, we pray and what is most important

we know ourselves what is easier to self- control and evaluation. If we make sin

for its correction we must compensate double.

MURSHIDMaashallahmy brother well said. To attain Gods nearness we must abandon

mundane wishes. We all had them. And in the same time we must find balance in

what is allowed and what is forbidden. What is allowed for a normal believer for

us is forbidden. As we deliberately choose this path.

NUN

You still keep this old wooden box?

MURSHID

Yesthat was my world in miniature. Externally I taught people in my shrine

about many things, even how to prepare a delicious food and recipes for different

diseases impregnating their will and with the will of God they will be sound either


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with food or with prescriptions. But as Vahid died, you left for Istanbul this box

were the only toy for me, and the world to enter to our past years.

Can you please take it and see what we have there.

NUN

Here is the picture of three of us as nasty kids hahaha

MURSHID

No dont say that. We were like a feather blown by the wind. It was very good

time. I feel my legs are too heavy now I can hardly move. You remember how

much we run almost flying.

NUN(Wipes a teardrop from his face. Just now he realizes that MURSHID feels his legs as

stones and the soul is preparing to leave).

Yes my brother I often recall these days. I would give all the stocks from my

shops, my two houses and all wealth to get back to that age but the water fromthat river has gone and will never return.

MURSHIDWhat else can you see there?

NUNI see a rosary?

MURSHID

Ahhhh those are a gift from Konya. Vahid was there to visit RUMIs tomb and

somehow get a spiritual link to him as for his intention to be a poet such as Rumi

so the world can remember his name and read his verses.

NUNDid he leave anything in written? Do you maybe have any notebook with his

poems?

MURSHID

Yes he left, but the war took everything since his house was burned. I have only

the peace of parchment with his handwriting and the poem, which is very nice.


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NUNYou mean this peace.

MURSHID

Read please so you can ease my soul. I feel his presence

NUN

(Starts reading and Murshid is following him, to be both washed by tears afterwards)

Honeycomb

Im not here

To say the pride of forgotten past

Nor Im here to sing miraculouslySuras and Sutras of the Holy Scriptures

Im not here to watch fallen mulberry fruitsIn river swimming as a dried leafs

Nor Im here to pray endlessly

As a sages to repent for

Sinful mundane ignorant

Im here to kiss the sky in its foreheadAnd between two eyes where

The star has to spark its beauty

Im here to perfume your soulAnd dry in the sunny-golden pollen

Im here too, to feed your lungsWith the air of the lost world

Eternally washed in the rivers of soul

Im the soil of your secret sowed

As a wheat seeds in the fall

Waiting spring to green the fields

And to golden summer with poppies decorated

And fireflies during short nights


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Dancing erotic games

Waiting fall to feed the holy stomachOf enfant terrible

Perpetually called ME

The sarcophagus of your secret

Im lost you, concentrated

In a formula dissolvedResponding on their enigmas.

NUN

This is the destiny of many talents. Vahid, no doubt was huge talent.

MURSHID

Yes he was. Contrary I never wrote I spoke instead. I taught but I dont write and

after ELIF this knowledge will disperse in the air and nobody will show interest

on this learning. This is my big grief. Now you understand why my voice is so

depressed, why Im so down.

NUN

No I think the next generations will write dissertations on your talks and your

service. Few decades you spent to teach and train people in spiritual practices.

Nothing will be lost. You dont have to worry. The Almighty will reward you. You

also wrotewhere are your scripts?

MURSHID

I dont trust next generations, as they are so materialistic. My scripts

ehhhhhhh my scripts got burned. What can you say after this poem left by

VAHID?

NUN

Theres enough teaching in these verses for those who understands.

MURSHID

True. But can you count how many we have here who can do that. ELIF is not

ready yet for such a science.


24/30

There is something I would like to ask you.

NUN

Tell me please Im keen to fulfill your wish.

MURSHIDMy brother Vahid wrote a song in my soul. I never wrote on paper. So I please

you to take a pen and paper and start writing while I recite, otherwise itll be lost

forever. This is something that I want let happen.

(NUN takes the pen and the paper and writes the poem, which hell take in Istanbul as

the last gift from the best friend).

Far I got Thee

Memory is coming as stars lightWhich vanishing I cant imagine

The world got me as suchTill Im waiting

Dew

To refresh

This outlandish heart body

This lip is dryingWhen it says that beautiful NameThe tongue is drying

It cleft

The balm is only presence as epiphany

But far even from this

That what the tongue cant say

That is

This will be

Gods wordWhen said BECOME

It becomes

MeI become

It

Then I extinguish


25/30

(NUN was finishing writing, MURSHID fall sleeping hardly moving his hand below his

face in the pillow.

NUN exits the room slowly leaving his friend to rest heading to the shrine where he meetswith ELIF and the rest of the visitors and proponents).

3. IN THE SUFI SHRINE/ BEFORE NIGHTFALL

ELIF I guess now you are convinced.

NUN

Yes my son. He will not take long. I never saw him like this. We must prepare

everything and give him the last honor as he deserves. We must get together here

in the shrine and pray for him.

(They all gather in the shrine and made DEVRAN (a circle) for Zikir (remembrance)

mentioning divine names and prayers from the Holy Book. NUN directs the prayer for the

first time in this shrine.

ELIF left the shrine and goes to the room to check his father. Hi was still sleeping. ELIF

approached his father with the eyes full of tears. Start to speak to him knowing that he

sleeps).

ELIF

After mothers death I was orphan for the fist time now its the second. You are

going to leave me. What shall I do with this people? What shall I do with myself?

Im very raw. Not purified enough to lead. Brothers are in Diaspora. Tomorrow

they will come. I hope they will see you before you leave last breath here in this

bed.


26/30

He looked around and saw a peace of paper, which was freshly written. He took the

paper and starts reading.

ELIF

My son;I hope youll not disgrace me and continue working for this matter.

People will expect from you to offer them the warmness I use to give.

About the shrine you going to take care and please be aware that two unfamiliar

will come to ask you two books those are behind the shelves in this room. They

will not enter my room but they will be in the shrine after only two days. They

will not ask to see me they will come only for books

Please take care about NESRIN, as she is the only sister you have. She needs

more care from you since you are taking my positions

My to beloved sons ALI and TARIK and their families will not have chance to see

me alive. They will arrive after my homage.

I pray God to leave you in peace.

ELIF was thrilled to death.... weeping, crying loudly enough to disturb the neighbors, but

there were no signs to wake up his father.

MURSHID never returned in a normal state of mind but for two more days he remained

in bed unconscious.

Thursday night, around 21.30, two men come in the shrine looking for ELIF and calling

by his name. He never saw them in his life. They look strange enough to ouster them

exactly in these moments when the entire family and friends are in grief for the valuable

man.

4. AT THE GATE OF THE HOUSE

TWO MEN(In one voice)

We came after the message from your father.

ELIFWhat at this time? Dont you know what time is it?


27/30

FIRST MAN

We have our duty and we must do it timely.

SECOND MAN

Exactly. We guess you know why we came.

ELIF

Yesyes I know? The (Stammering)the books yes. How much do youwant?

TWO MEN

Only two, you should read the paper your father left for you with messages.

ELIF went to take the books. Once again he looked at his father and reads the paper to

easily find the books. He quickly finds the books and gets out in the shrine to meet to

unfamiliar men.

ELIF

So gentlemen here we are. I think you were looking for these. (Giving them the

books)

FIRST MANExactly, yeah

SECOND MANYes these are the books. Thank you very much.

ELIF

But who are you? Can you please tell me?

FIRST MAN

Im from up (showing with right pointing finger)

SECOND MAN

Im from the South.

ELIF

I dont understand you.

Suddenly a fanfare from the car shouts in the main street. Its very loud. ELIF returns his

head to see what is going on. Two men disappear. As he returns to continue talking they


28/30

already are missing. He is shocked. Continue walking in the shrine and the people inside

the prayer room asking who was there?

5. IN THE SUFI SHRINE

ELIFTwo strangers.

NUN

What did they asked?

ELIF

They wanted some alms?

NUN

Ok we were afraid on something bad happened.

They continue to pray for more than an hour. Suddenly they hear loud cry of NESRIN.

ELIF immediately runs in fathers room and meets NESRIN weeping. NUN runs promptly

after ELIF and finds MURSHID dead.

6. IN MURSHIDS ROOM

ELIFNESRIN, did he talk something?

NESRIN(Crying)

No he was so happy, he turned his eyeballs and he was not able to talk to me but

he was muttering something. Im sure not to me. He was all yellow a kind of

shine in his face.

ELIF

OhGod you took him. He knew. He told me everything. He told me the way

that he will die.


29/30

NUN(Starts to pray, few tears rolled in his face)

OK my dearscrying will not help. Now he is in angels hands. Im sure he will

have nice companion.We must be strong and secure his corpse till the morning to

burry him as soon as possible. He told me now Im mature enough to fall just

as mulberry falls when its ripen. And he did so. He knew his time. OhGod.

7. IN CAFE TOTO

ELIFThis was my story dear LIA.

LIA

(LIA, wiped her right cheek with moisturized napkin)

I see death everyday in Israel.

BESIM

Shall we change the theme or the place?

ELIF

Its good idea.

LIA

What theme or place?

BESIM

Lets change both.

LIA and ELIF

Perfect.

BESIMIn Prizren maybe

LIAYou decide I dont know

ELIFLets go to Prizren


30/30

BESIM

(Returns his car and three of them headed to Prizren)

END

gleanings of interior man a scrapbook by fahredin shehu

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