CHAPTER 4Body Language

Nonverbal Communication• Why bother to understand it?

• About half of our communication takes place this way.

• Humans can produce over 700,000 different physical signs, over 250,000 facial expressions, over 5000 different hand gestures, and over 1000 different types of postures.

• Positive Body Language vs. Negative Body Language• Model what you think they are…

Positive• Relaxed posture• Arms relaxed• Good eye contact• Nodding in agreement• Smiling at humor• Leaning closer• Using gestures

Negative• Body tension• Arms folded• Speaking hand to mouth• Fidgeting• Yawning

Lying “tells”• Decreased hand activity• Increased face touching• Stiff and rigid posture• Increased body shifting

• Personal Space: our “personal territory”

What are some examples of how your personal space is invaded as you move through the school day?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGVSIkEi3mM

• What does distance say about your relationship to someone else?

• Public distance:

the distance we keep between ourselves and strangers• Social distance:

the distance for normal business/school conversations• Intimate distance:

the distance for personal conversation.

• Why does distance matter?• What are some other things we do day-to-day with body

language that convey meaning?• Opening doors for people• Stepping aside• Indicating that a car may turn in front of you• Nodding politely

Whether you know it or not, you are almost ALWAYS being judged on body language.

The Handshake• Started as a way to prove you weren’t carrying a weapon.

It was a hand to fore-arm clasp.

The Handshake• Start by using words FIRST.

Otherwise, you may appear too aggressive.• Avoid Offering a “Fish Hand”

A limp hand is never a good idea when it comes to a business handshake. Do return the grip, but do not get into a power struggle, even if the other person squeezes too hard.

• Forget “Lady Fingers”

Offering only your fingers to shake may be appropriate in some social settings, but in business settings you are an equal, not a “lady.” Extend your entire hand, and be sure to grasp using your entire hand as well.

• Don’t become the lobster claw. Lady Fingers are bad enough; avoid pinching during a handshake.

• Keep your pointer finger in line with the rest of them.• Avoid the double grip hand shake in business. This is

a favorite of politicians. Why would they employ this technique? When is this type of handshake appropriate?

Shaking a Sweaty Hand• If you shake hands with someone who has sweaty palms,

do not immediately wipe your hands on your clothing, a tissue, etc. This will further embarrass the other person, who is already probably aware they have sweaty hands. You can discretely wipe them on something later after you are out of sight.

• So what makes a good hand shake?• Reach the hand forward, extending from the elbow.• Keep your thumb up as you reach forward, allowing your hands to

meet in the middle of the space between you.• The area between your thumb and pointer finger should make

contact.• Only pump the hands 2-3 times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa6CXkcePFs