garden gnomes live it love it

Gnome problemo!Gnome sweet Gnome, Don anD some of our staff have little bearDeD people helpinG to protect their GarDens – anD they’re out anD prouD about it, too!

March 2013 Burke’s Backyard 29

some gnome collectors would be willing to die to have don’s

collection of murdered gnomes, created by Terry sedgwick.

live it love it garden gnomes

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January 2013 Burke’s Backyard 31

there are many weird and won-

derful ways to ornament your

house and garden. Statues,

birdbaths, weathervanes, old wheel-

barrows, pots and paintings are

popular, but there’s a secret society

lurking within the ranks of Aussie

gardeners: garden gnome aficiona-

dos, and ‘Burke’s Backyard’

magazine has a few of them, too.

Don’s troupeDespite his gardening credentials

and beard, Don Burke himself has

never actively sought to collect

gnomes for his garden. Instead,

his gnome numbers have increased

slowly over the years by virtue of

cast-offs from TV segments and

gifts from friends and viewers.

One of his first gnomes, ‘Nobby’,

was a gift from his radio 2UE

co-star Phil Haldeman. Nobby is an

exhibitionist of the worst kind and

so parts of him have been covered

up in our photos for modesty’s sake.

In 1994 the ‘Burke’s Backyard’

TV program aired a story called

‘Satirical Gnomes’ featuring car-

toonist Terry Sedgwick’s gnomes.

The thing is, Terry’s gnomes have

all been murdered: some with a

screwdriver, others with an axe or

mower blade to the head, gunshot

wound or face-down and flattened

with tell-tale tyre prints on their

backs. (And you can watch this

funny story on viewa, see page 32).

Don also has some political

gnomes including a Bob Hawke

gnome and a nude Jeff Kennett

gnome. Although our photos show

Don’s gnomes out and about in his

garden, in reality Don chooses to

keep them ‘safe’, locked inside his

garage, as he prefers just plants,

wildlife and a few more subtle

artworks in his indigenous bush

garden. But when Don’s away, it’s

their time to have some fun...

Jamie’s BandOur editor-at-large Jamie mcilwraith and his wife, Pam, can’t say exactly when a couple of gnomes turned into a collection, but they blame it on music. Jamie says: “We love all kinds of music and we started off forming a gnome band for the garden: guitar, drums, bass, fiddle and accordion, but along the way we also met some great non-musical gnomes that we couldn’t leave behind. i particularly like ingrid, our pie- baking female gnome, and mitchell (ingrid’s boyfriend), our Librarian gnome.

“We’ve bought most of them on driving holidays around australia. nurseries in country towns have been a very good source, and Victoria seems to have more good gnomes for sale than any other state.

“Our gnomes don’t usually live out on the path; they just came out of hiding for the photo opportunity. i hide them here and there around the garden. When kids visit our place we send them searching the gar-den for gnomes. somehow the kids always manage to find the murdered ‘corpse gnome’ (yes, one of Terry sedgwick’s) with a screwdriver sticking out of his back.”

March 2013 Burke’s Backyard 3130 burkesbackyard.com.au

Left to right, a nude Jeff kennett, nobby the flasher, Bob Hawke

and a remarkably flatulent gnome.

classic murdered gnome by artist Terry sedgwick.

32 burkesbackyard.com.au

live it love it garden gnomes

OLd TimersThe traditional garden gnome has a pointy red hat, beard and vest. These days gnomes come in about every style you can think of, from replicas of celebrities through to rude, nude beard-ed dudes, but most gnomes are ordinary garden-lovers, just like the rest of us. Gnomes are believed to have originated in northern europe in the 19th century, with various towns laying claim to being the original ‘home of the gnome’.

Pop starsGnomes have even enjoyed a brief

status as pop stars when in 1967 both

David Bowie and the band Pink Floyd

composed tales of encountering these

enchanted creatures. David Bowie

sang about the mischievous laughing

gnome from ‘Gnome-man’s Land’ and

his brother Fred. Pink Floyd told a

story about ‘a little man… a gnome

named Grimble Gromble’.

Banned!In more recent times, gnomes created

a stir when one was banned from the

world-famous Chelsea Flower Show.

This was a gnome called Borage (pic-

tured above left), named after the

medicinal herb, who was a fixture in

UK garden designer Jekka McVicar’s

Gloucestershire herb garden. “I have

no idea where he came from, but he

kept appearing in funny places on the

farm, and over time I became very

attached to him,” says Jekka. However,

Borage made quite a stir at the 2009

Chelsea Flower Show when event

organisers banned him from Jekka’s

herb display, claiming that gnomes

were “against the rules”.

Garden gnomes aren’t against the

rules in your own garden though.

Especially if you wish to add a bit of

colour or comedy or just want some-

one or something to guard against

potential other-worldly predators.

in one of our funniest segments, don chats to the maker of the murdered gnomes, artist Terry sedgwick.

Download the free viewa app,

select the ‘Burke’s Backyard’ channel

and hold your smartphone or tablet

over this page to watch the fun.

Banned! Borage the gnome was too much for the judges at

the chelsea Flower show.“Gnomes are against the rules!”

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