Go To London

Think of money, growing on trees,Where nobody lives hand to mouth.If you want a life full of ease,You need to be heading down south.Somewhere that’s trendy, where music is cool,The houses luxurious and smart.Where no-one travels by clapped-out old mule,It’s top-notch hi-tech horse and cart!

ChorusGo to London – clearly a capital plan!Make your fortune – we’ve heard that anyone can!Dreams are found there,In amongst streets paved with gold!Down in London – the place to be, so we’ve been told!

Go To LondonWhat about the pressies you’d buy,If you had available cash?Anything that might catch your eye,Fancy, expensive and flash!Oodles of goodies, just waiting for youTo pick them up, straight off the shelf!With money to burn, the best thing to doIs go ahead, just help yourself!

ChorusGo to London – clearly a capital plan!Make your fortune – we’ve heard that anyone can!Dreams are found there,In amongst streets paved with gold!Down in London – the place to be, so we’ve been told!

Go To LondonFather Thames is flowing with wine,And people take dips every day!Restaurants and places to dineServe an exotic buffet.Shops and boutiques sell their outlandish wares,Purveyors of each latest craze.Up sticks and go! This will answer your prayers!You’ll be rich in a matter of days!

ChorusGo to London – clearly a capital plan!Make your fortune – we’ve heard that anyone can!Dreams are found there,In amongst streets paved with gold!Down in London – the place to be, so we’ve been told! x2

This is LondonEveryone knows money don’t grow on trees.That would be goin’ too far!Round ‘ere you tighten your belt, face the squeeze.Course, it depends who you are!If you’re a toff and respected round town.The chance is you live somewhere posh.But if you’re ‘nobody’, life gets you down,Tryin’ to eek out your dosh!

ChorusThis is London! Don’t trust the things people say.It’s all rubbish! We know – we’re ‘ere every day!Noisy , dirty – streets paved wiv gold? What a laugh!It’s a rat –’ole! Luxury? Don’t be so daft!

This is LondonToo many ‘orses and carts on the road,Leavin’ big piles of manure!Still, bring a bucket and take ‘ome a load!Could be quite useful, I’m sure! Too many people wiv’ too little room,Ain’t got a penny to spare.‘Ang around gripin’ to lighten the gloom!Talk don’t cost nuffin’, so there!

ChorusThis is London! Don’t trust the things people say.It’s all rubbish! We know – we’re ‘ere every day!Noisy , dirty – streets paved wiv gold? What a laugh!It’s a rat –’ole! Luxury? Don’t be so daft!

This is LondonTakin’ you in is a pastime for some.Be careful who you believe!We know a geezer who stole from ‘is mum!Mind you, she was quite naïve!If you came ‘ere to seek fortune, that’s tough,Pack up your bags and go ‘ome!London’s a rip-off – it’s risky and rough,Giving us good cause to moan!

ChorusThis is London! Don’t trust the things people say.It’s all rubbish! We know – we’re ‘ere every day!Noisy , dirty – streets paved wiv gold? What a laugh!It’s a rat –’ole! Luxury? Don’t be so daft! X2

A Recipe For DisasterYou say my food’s inedible?It’s really not my faultJust ‘cos I underdo the meatAnd overdo the salt.My standards are incredibleWell what do you expect?So what’s a girl like me to do?To get some house respect?

ChorusShe’s a recipe for disaster,And she’s in a class of her own!A kitchen calamity causing concern,A fact that is widely well-known!You’d have to search for many a dayThen take another look,To find a chef who we’d all sayIs worse that this terrible cook!

A Recipe For Disaster(Maid)She poisoned previous employersWhilst working, down the road!(Butler)The husband tragically expiredFrom breakfast overload!(Maid)The magistrate was told in court‘’The scrambled eggs weren’t raw!(Butler)She’d made them medium-rare, my friends,(Both)And served them cold, what’s more!’’ChorusShe’s a recipe for disaster,And she’s in a class of her own!A kitchen calamity causing concern,A fact that is widely well-known!You’d have to search for many a dayThen take another look,To find a chef who we’d all sayIs worse that this terrible cook!

A Recipe For DisasterI can’t work out these modern stoves,They’re complicated, see!I spit and roast, which addsA special flavour, you’d agree?And as for chicken dishes?I reheat them once of twice!The middle bit stays pink, so chew it slow-That’s my advice!ChorusShe’s a recipe for disaster,And she’s in a class of her own!A kitchen calamity causing concern,A fact that is widely well-known!Repeat You’d have to search for many a dayThen take another look,To find a chef who we’d all sayIs worse that this terrible cook!

Your Furry FriendsIt doesn’t bother us one bitWho occupies this room.They don’t know what’s in store for themBut they’ll know pretty soon!If what they want’s a good night’s sleepThey’d best keep well away.‘Cos we like fun and games, and weCome out at night to play

CHORUSWe’re dreadful pests – we love to chew,Especially furniture.Most wooden things don’t stand a chance;We’ll gnaw them, we don’t care!We’ll scritch and scratch, we’ll eek and squeak,Leave droppings on your bed!You might call us your ‘furry friends’,Or something worse instead!

Your Furry Friends(mouse 1)We’re kind of cute with bright, brown eyes!Our snouts are long and flat!(mouse 2)Our whiskers twitch when we sense cats,(mouse 3)Or when we smell a rat!(mouse 1)That sounds like us-we’re biggerAnd our tails are longer too!(mouse 2)We’re slim and sleek,(mouse 3)A fine physique! Especially me and you!!CHORUSWe’re dreadful pests – we love to chew,Especially furniture.Most wooden things don’t stand a chance;We’ll gnaw them, we don’t care!We’ll scritch and scratch, we’ll eek and squeak,Leave droppings on your bed!You might call us your ‘furry friends’,Or something worse instead!

Your Furry FriendsWe’re rodents and we’re proud of it,A breed some folks detest!That gives us licence to have fun,Annoying every guest!We’ll crawl across Dick’s face tonight And slither through his hair!A ticklish trick to wake him up,And give him quite a scare!CHORUSWe’re dreadful pests – we love to chew,Especially furniture.Most wooden things don’t stand a chance;We’ll gnaw them, we don’t care!We’ll scritch and scratch, we’ll eek and squeak,Leave droppings on your bed!X2 You might call us your ‘furry friends’,Or something worse instead! EEK!

One Purr-fect MatchDick – You are the first real friend that I’ve had.I’m going to look after you every day.I don’t want you to be lonely or sad.This is a promise – I won’t go away.ChorusYou stick together – you’ve both made a catch.Loyalty means that you’re on solid ground.You’ve got a partnership – one purr-fect match!So no pussyfooting around!PussI’ve known cat-astrophe but I’ve nine lives!You saved the lot with your rescue just now.I’ll sort your rodents and stay by your side.I couldn't leave a companion! Me? How? Meow!

One Purr-fect MatchChorusYou stick together – you’ve both made a catch.Loyalty means that you’re on solid ground.You’ve got a partnership – one purr-fect match!So no pussyfooting around!DickI’ll give you food and I’ll deal with your fleas.Buy a swish collar for all to admire.You keep the rats down with your expertise!There’ll be a place on my lap, by the fire.ChorusYou stick together – you’ve both made a catch.Loyalty means that you’re on solid ground.X2 You’ve got a partnership – one purr-fect match!So no pussyfooting around!

Turn Again, WhittingtonVerse 1Dick came down to London townAnd hope was in the air.He would make his fortuneAnd become a millionaire.When he found a friend in PussHis prospects seemed quite bright.But his dreams were brokenWhen she vanished in the night.ChorusGo Dick, get away,Though you’ll leave with so much regret.Find another place to stayAnd try your best to forget.Verse 2(Dick)Now my world’s turned upside down,I must be on my way.I’ll find somewhere different,Somewhere else where I can stay.Since I’ve lost my soul-mate, Puss,Nothing seems the same.All I have is her collarAnd the memory of her name.

Turn Again, WhittingtonChorusGo Dick, get away,Though you’ll leave with so much regret.Find another place to stayAnd try your best to forget.Narrator speaks

Verse 3Turn again, Whittington, Lord Mayor of London.Turn again, Whittington, thrice Mayor of London.Turn again, Whittington, Lord Mayor of London.Turn again, Whittington, thrice Mayor of London.Split partTurn again, Whittington, Lord Mayor of London.(Turn around, now)Turn again, Whittington, thrice Mayor of London.(Turn around, now) (repeat split part twice then finish with……)Turn!

She Loves To ShopVerse 1(Queen)Everybody has a fad, something they adore.Actually, that can’t be bad, it’s not against the law!I possess a bank account that’s bursting at the seam!So…I’ll buy anything I want,Whatever that might mean!ChorusShe loves to shop and she’s well able!And her lifestyle’s ever so plush!If she laid her cards on the tableShe’d be seen as a Royal Flush!

Verse 2 (Guests)You don’t find it all that hard, shelling out your cash.Slap it on the credit card, and purchase in a flash!Nothing is more satisfying than a shopping spree.So…some call it a chore,She calls it retail therapy!

ChorusShe loves to shop and she’s well able!And her lifestyle’s ever so plush!If she laid her cards on the tableShe’d be seen as a Royal Flush!

Verse 3 (Queen)I just like to look my best – what’s so wrong with that?Royalty comes smartly dressed and not turned out in tat!I keep adding to my wardrobe, ‘specially bags and shoes.So…guess what I’ll be doing soon – You won’t need many clues!Chorus(repeat)She loves to shop and she’s well able!And her lifestyle’s ever so plush!If she laid her cards on the tableShe’d be seen as a Royal Flush!

She Loves To Shop

Your Furry FriendsReprise ChorusWe’re dreadful pests – we’ll happilyJust steam right in and stealThe dishes from your banquet, buffet, picnic – any meal!We’ll scritch and scratch, we’ll eek and squeak,Leave nothing on your plate,Except a calling card which reads - ‘We came, we saw, we ate! EEK!!

Verse 1(Rats and mice)What have we got here?No one in our gang has seen such a sight!Positively weird!Specially brought in to give us a fright!Why is it just staring with that look in its eyes?Why is it still glaring as if we’re the only prize?See those teeth it’s baring – time to say our goodbyes!Make our retreat while admitting defeat!And it’s firstly slow then go, go, go – GO!

ChorusGo, Super-Puss! Clearly, the world’s most talented cat!Yo, Super-Puss!Enemy of mouse, destroyer of rat!Irritating vermin never bothered you before,They were just unwelcome guests!One mighty snap of your powerful jawsWould eliminate several pests!Those who are trapped in your razor-like clawsWould succumb to force and become your main course!Instrumental

Go, Super-Puss!

Verse 2(Guests)What on earth was that?Up and down like lightning, all round the room!Someone said a ‘cat’!Standing in it’s way meant imminent doom!One amazing creature with a ‘penchant’ for mice!Nothing we could teach her – she’s a whiz, to be precise!Such outstanding features make the rodents think twice!Just what we need, a superlative breed!She will steal the show, let’s go, go, go – GO!

ChorusGo, Super-Puss! Clearly, the most talented cat!Yo, Super-Puss!Enemy of mouse, destroyer of rat!Irritating vermin never bothered you before,They were just unwelcome guests!One mighty snap of your powerful jawsWould eliminate several pests!Those who are trapped in your razor-like clawsWould succumb to force and become your main course!Repeat ChorusGo, Super-Puss! Yeh!

Go, Super-Puss!

Verse 1How did you feel, Dick Whittington,When you left home that day?You set off seeking a better life,In London town, so far away.As luck would have it, you struck gold,Though you had none to spend,Til’ Puss became your friend.

Verse 2How did you feel, Dick Whittington,When you first heard the news?Puss would be sent to a foreign landAnd you, for one, could not refuse.You never gave up hope andYou worked hard for many a day,Success then came your way.

Finale

Verse 3How will you feel, Dick Whittington?When you are made Lord Mayor?You struggled through when the chips were down,You overcame your own despair.And Alice will become your wife – That’s not so hard to tell,A ring for your Bow Belle!

Verse 4How do you feel, Dick Whittington,Now that it’s time to go?Your tale will last for a thousand years,As history will plainly show!And children will find such delightIn hearing it retold,While never growing old.And children will find such delightIn hearing it retold,While never growing old.

Finale