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GOD

P.A.T.C.H.

K_\

K_\

Positive

ApproachToChristian

Hearts

b y J I M H A R R I S O N

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This book is written expressly about God, not

any one individual. The intention of the story is to

describe how God has, through His creations, given

us the earth and human beings, to develop and exist

in a perfect balance with Him.

Physically, the earth has to stay in perfect

balance or it would not remain situated at its location

in the universe, as God had placed it. The balance of

nature, all things natural, on the planet is meant to

stay this way so that everlasting life could exist here.

The balance of man is such that we can

develop physically, mentally and emotionally. We

must work to maintain a balance between our human

and spiritual self or it will have a huge impact on our

health and our mental abilities to be able to cope

with life itself.

We, as human beings, need to maintain our

balance between the earth and us, otherwise we

cause major problems with the earth and these

Foreword

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Forty days . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Gods plan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

Crying out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11

Lifes direction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Is it I or I Am . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

Its about balance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

Passing it on . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

The journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

The next phase . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

A new start . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41

To suffer or not . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45

The message . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

Hard choices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Understanding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53

The Decision . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59

Starting over . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67

The worst pit yet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

A relationship develops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

Even bigger decisions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87

The answer to the question . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

Acknowledgement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97

Contentswill become catastrophic problems for future

generations.

Gods plan was to have a perfect place and a

perfect physical being, so that He would be able to

enjoy the love that He wants to share with us. God is

love itself and without human beings how would

He nurture relationships. We, the humans, have

certainly messed that up big time.

We can get back to that place, of a loving

relationship, if we choose to work at it. God is

always ready and willing to be there for us. The

choice has to be up to us. God loves what He

created and we should be equally willing to return

that love for Him. As God worked within Jesus in

His life, He can also work within us. It is a beautiful

place to be, if we just make the choice. The

relationship that allows the balance of the Holy

Trinity to come together as one, can be the same

relationship for us to maintain a balanced life.

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As I sit here on the balcony, of the condo in Florida,

gazing out onto the ocean, I watch the pelicans

diving into the water to get food for nourishing

themselves. I cannot help but marvel at Gods grace

that sustains all of us, humans and animals alike.

Watching the sunrise and sunsets from here you

cannot believe there is ever, two the same. The color,

the brilliance, the clouds painted across a multi

hued blue sky, along with the various green colors

of water give a performance that draws people

from miles around each day to view Gods majesty.

If we have such a strong fascination with Gods

handiwork, how is it we find it so difficult to believe,

that God loves us so much, and wants to have a

personal relationship with each of us.

How much do we truly understand, the existence of

mankind, on this planet we call earth. We know

from the bible, that earth is a creation of God,

1

Forty days

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He saw. This creation as He completed it then, is

still the same place we live today. The one difference

being, that we as humans have scarred and defaced

his planet almost beyond recognition. Gods feeling

for His creation has never changed to this day. I am

sure it makes him, (God), sad to see what we are

doing with the earth. I have recently discovered, that

when we look at our earth through Gods eyes, it is

a totally different place, than most of us know it too

be, even today.

What I mean is that most of us see our world by the

priorities that we have chosen, jobs, marriage, hous-

ing, etc. These are all things centered around us, not

God. When we start to see from Gods perspective,

our priorities become very small and insignificant.

During these times that my wife and I spend here on

the Gulf Coast at Destin, Fl. I see this as, not so

much a vacation, but an experience or training

session with God. Much like it was for Moses in

3

Genesis 1: 1 and God created the heaven and the

earth and that it, earth, exists in what we humans

know as the universe. The universe appears to be the

largest conceptualization that we can handle, with

our understanding. Individually, we do not know, if

there is anything beyond our universe or that any-

thing else exists beyond our universe. We have

learned that the universe cannot exist, without the

living energy to sustain it and the same holds true for

the earth. Without this living energy, things would

just disintegrate. It is my belief that, this living

energy is God. This is a definition of God, I believe

is very accurate, based on my knowledge. The

following quotation of God: He always was and

always has been, never can be created or destroyed,

all that ever was, always will be, always moving into

form, through form and out of form.

The bible tells us that once God was finished with

his creation of earth, He was very pleased with what

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many of you who are going through some of the

same rough times that I did. I would like to share

some of my thoughts and beliefs that I have gained

during these communications with God.

In the bible they tell us of the miracles that took

place while Jesus was here on the earth. Do we ever

stop and look around us at Gods miracles that are

still here today. The air we breathe, the pure water

for drinking, the plants that give us the material for

our clothing and the animals for our food. These

things in themselves are miracles given to us by God

to enhance our relationship with Him.

We may all live on one earth, yet it is a common

error to believe there are two equal and opposite

forces at work in the world, one good, the other evil

one God, the other Satan, and between these two

we have the choice to do as we please. The truth is

that Satan is a created being, created by God just as

we were. He (satan) has only as much power and

5

Exodus 34:28-29 Moses was there with the LORD

forty days and forty nights without eating bread or

drinking water. And he wrote on the tablets the

words of the covenant-the Ten Commandments.

When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the

two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not

aware that his face was radiant because he had

spoken with the LORD.

I believe that something similar to this has happened

to me as well. I am able to push aside all the nega-

tive parts of worldly life and connect in a very

positive way with my creator. This was my time to

make a covenant with God and do whatever he

asked. I have managed to learn, that having a

positive experience with God and my savior Jesus

Christ, is a world apart from the life style that most

of us choose to live, when left to our own devices.

It is my desire, that by writing this book, about the

experiences of my life, I will not be too late to reach

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Now if we view earth and mankind from the most

simplistic or smaller side, we would be looking at it

from the size of the living cell. The plan that God has

for all human beings, begins at a microscopic level,

even before we are born. When God starts a plan that

will be our life story, we also have to understand,

that He is going to be doing the exact same thing for

our children as they are created, and also their

children. We as parents of children think that we

know better than anyone how are children should be

raised. We do not know better than God, and there-

fore if we were to raise them in conjunction with

God, it is likely we would do a much better job of it.

We try very hard to impose our will on our children,

not Gods will. If we were to watch the process that

is taking place inside of our mothers womb, on a

daily basis, we would be amazed to see how God

takes all of these cells and transforms them into what

will be us.

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influence as God allows him. Satan (lucifer), in

the beginning, was the archangel in charge of praise

among the heavenly hosts, harps and all prior to

his fall.

Observing earth from Gods perspective, we realize

others have bigger needs than we do and how we can

help them, becomes more important, than our own

desires and needs. Understanding earth and the uni-

verse from the big picture is awesomely huge.

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Gods plan

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The creation of mankind as written in Genesis 1: 26

Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.

The fact that God wanted to create man in this

manner, certainly does not give the impression, that

he ever expected man to be the sinner that we are.

If one was to say there ever was a flaw in Gods plan,

it may be when He gave man the ability to make his

own choice. This certainly appears to be mankinds

downfall over time. This gift of choice, is what

separates us from the animal breeds on the planet, as

they simply act out of instinct.

When we describe mankind, we seem rather

comfortable with the term human being. It was the

side of mankind called human, which very easily

fell prey to Satans devious, lying abilities to sway us

to his way of thinking.

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Isaiah 14: 12-15

How you have fallen from heaven,

O morning star, son of the dawn!

You have been cast down to the earth,

you who once laid low the nations!

You said in your heart,

I will ascend to heaven;

I will raise my throne

above the stars of God;

I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly,

on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.

I will ascend above the tops of the clouds;

I will make myself like the Most High.

But you are brought down to the grave,

to the depths of the pit.

Satan was banished from heaven because he wanted

to be better than God was. He was made to live in the

grave of the earth, the depths of the pit. His ego was

so great, he said he could make himself just like

God. Our bad choice started with Adam and Eve.

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My relationship with God started at a time when I

likely did not even realize it. The day that my

mother passed away was probably the bleakest of

my life. As a young man of seventeen, at the time,

she was everything to me although my father was

present physically, we had no relationship. I was

coming to that age when you are preparing to set out

on your own, in the world. Even with both my par-

ents supporting me, this was a challenge. Looking

back, this was the scariest time to be on my own. I

had no idea what to expect because I had just spent

the last few months trying to care for my mom, as I

was certain in my mind she was going to beat this

cancer and get better. Right then, in that moment of

time, my future just seemed to disappear before me

and I did not want to go on like this.

The next day I went to our church and kneeling at the

alter rail I started to pray. It seemed as though I was

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Crying out

Genesis 3: 3-5, God did say, you must not eat fruit

from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and

you must not touch it, or you will die. You will not

surely die, the serpent said to the woman. For God

knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be

opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and

evil. Adam and Eve both ate of the fruit from the

tree. Genesis 3: 7 then the eyes of both of them

were opened, and they realized they were naked.

Up until this moment, they were only seeing their

surroundings and themselves through the being

(spiritual) side of humanity. That is the same way

God sees earth, with innocence not with an ego.

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As we see the results of Human Beings, from the

creation process, we begin to understand why the

Human portion follows the form thinking process,

or the use of the brain not the heart. Form thinking is

the process that considers the flesh (body), the I or

ME principal. It is mainly about things, wanting and

getting them, about judging yourself and others,

about imposing your will on others, and also about

distancing yourself from everything and everyone. It

is believing you can do everything on your own, due

to your own superiority, just like Satan did. Living

your entire life like this, means you are living the

bigger part of it totally unconscious of everything

going on around you, simply because YOU are more

important than anything else. This is most certainly

NOT the way God wanted us to be, but Satan loves

it. You are like free food to him, and he is salivating

for the opportunity. It is a gigantic leap, for most

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there for hours. Certainly, my first question was why

did this have to happen at all and where would I go

from here? I begged God to give me the strength to

overcome this sinking feeling of desperation that

was overcoming me. I prayed for His guidance, for

my life, as I now felt completely lost. This, I believe

is how most of us react, when out of desperate

measures we turn to God to patch our lives back

together again. I returned home that day knowing

that I had to carry on but never really knowing how

this day might affect my future.

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Lifes direction

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They are always seeking something or someone

to make them happy. Unfortunately, individual

happiness seldom comes from something external.

These things(form) are short term satisfiers and

because of this you never get complete happiness,

due again to the ego wanting more. It is so true that

happiness, or the need for happiness, is viewed as a

goal you plan for and expect too achieve. Happiness

is not something you can go to, because happiness

is a condition not an object. When we are at peace

with our creator our goal is achieved and riches of

joy and wisdom will bring us more happiness than

we could ever imagine possible.

Eg; When we damage our car, we expect to have a

body repairer patch it up for us. When we contract a

serious medical disease we expect a medical

practitioner to patch us up, and move on with our

life. When we experience, a serious storm that rips

part of the roof, from our house we expect a roof

15

people to accept that every man and woman, good

or bad has been created by God. The best and the

worst of us are all Gods creations.

The underlying emotion that governs ego is fear, the

fear of being nobody, the fear of non-existence and

the fear of death. Illusion will never satisfy you, only

the TRUTH of who you are, when realized will set

you free. A humans ego can never be satisfied

because it continuously wants more. You will be left

with a longing, that can never be filled.

If you have ever known an alcoholic, a drug addict

or depressed individual, just ask them to explain

their condition to you. It is very likely, they will tell

you all about how someone or something put them in

this position. It is never about them.

Many individuals find they are falling into this

category, where they give the appearance that

everything in their life is a negative situation or

nothing positive is ever going to happen to me.

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repairer to patch it up. When we do serious

damage to our own lives, who do we expect is going

to patch up this damage, if we cannot do it

ourselves? It has been proven that we cannot do it

alone. Most of us, turn to God, with the expectation

of having our lives patched together.

The following quotation came to me from God,

Life, is just a patchwork, held together by threads

of silver and gold, sewn by God with Love.

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Once we rediscover our spiritual self, there ever

since our birth, we start to see the outer world with

Gods view. Instead of saying, I want this or I have

that, I can do this or that, we start to say, I am here

for you or I am going to do this for you. The I am

process requires conscious thought and usually

means most of the benefit is going to some one else.

When you accept this, you are utilizing the true you

and not some fake or made up person.

The rewards from this will bring you the greatest

wealth you could ever have. It is not a currency

wealth, but a riches of joy, happiness, love and peace

heaped upon you as life goes on.

Its said that, the sins of the parents are passed on

to the children, this statement is very accurate. A

pregnant mothers energy is passed on to the unborn

child. Negative energy will result with the child

being born with a larger negative energy field. Stress

Is it I or I AM

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factors such as fighting, drugs, alcohol and so on

will be passed from a mothers energy to the child.

A child can pick up negative energy from their

environment even before the child can actually

communicate. A baby that cries for no reason is

learning to express stress from its environment. By

the time they can walk and interact with other

children, they may already have a negative

attitude that can last for a lifetime.

Having a conscious developed, positive lifestyle, is

something that has to be worked on as a daily

routine. The more we work to stay positive,

means, the more we push Satan and his negative

world out of our life. This is not a simple task. Godly

followers are in the minority.

Each day when we wake up we must make the

decision to start our day with God. First thank God

for giving us a new day and secondly, by praising

God for all that He is and does for us. Repeating this

process every day, means we are living in the truth

of the Lord. This will keep Satan, the king of liars,

from entering our space. The bible tells us many

times, that praising our Lord Jesus is the first step in

winning the daily battle against Satan. Once we have

taken this first step, God will complete our victory

for us. The resulting spoils of the victory become

ours to keep. Each days decision to do this makes it

an easier task. Why you ask? If you have discovered

your being or spiritual side, then you are now

communicating with God. He has now become your

best friend again, as He was when you were created,

and will lift much of your burden from you. As He

does this, you will find it becoming easier to make

this conscious choice of lifestyle on a daily basis. As

things become routine it will be happening more on

an unconscious level and there is no room left for

satan any longer. Things will become clearer and

days will be filled with joy and happiness. You are

now living by your heart, as God wants you too, and

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your light (energy) will be noticed by others as they

are attracted to you.

Matthew 6: 9-10

Our father in heaven

hallowed be thy name,

your kingdom come

your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

The purpose of praying this prayer, is to ask God to

bring His kingdom into our life today. We do not

have to wait until we get to heaven to enjoy His

kingdom. We can enjoy our citizenship in our human

kingdom and also our spiritual citizenship in Gods

kingdom. Both can be at the same time on earth.

Jesus sacred space can be enjoyed within our

relationships we have with each other and with God.

The love we share in these relationships will

last forever.

This positive energy is our way of communicating

with God and our fellow man, and will bring more

people and things into your life instead of the

negative energy pushing everything away.

This positive approach to a christian heart,

(P.A.T.C.H.) is the message that God wants me to

extend to the world.

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Genesis 2:7, the Lord God formed the man from the

dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the

breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Most individuals are amazed when they learn that

they are born on this planet earth as a creation of

God. They would have no existence except for

receiving the breath of God at birth. This fact is

written in the Bible and as well in medical

journals also. As my title for this book states, (and

God gave me this title), positive and negative attrib-

utes do control our lives from birth till death. Its

how we use these attributes that can make a huge

difference in how we do or do not enjoy life. It is not

fully understood by most people how our health is

dictated by these positives and negatives.

Life developed under the influence of the earths

geomagnetic field. We are surrounded by a sea of

magnetism. The millions of cells, making up the

Its about balance

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organs and the body are magnetically charged by

this force. Cell regulation, tissue function and life

itself, are controlled by internal electromagnetic

currents. God created us, from living cells that

function on positive and negative abilities. They can

be influenced by external positive and negative

forces around us.

Magnetic fields surround the earth and protect all

living things from harmful radiation. They also

influence mans behavior, mental function and

physical energy. Oxygen and water are para-

magnetic and can be magnetized as either positive or

negative. Since the human body is seventy percent

water, you can easily see how this process can have

a substantial influence. Since God created earth and

humans it is easy to understand that He would have

meant it to be this way. There are many books

written on this subject for more detailed information.

Where we choose to live in relationship to certain

rock formations, that have high concentrations of

positive magnetic energy, can also have very

influential aspects on our health. When we moved to

northern Ontario, my health was very poor. Not long

after, I commented to my doctor how much healthi-

er I felt since we had arrived, even though my

conditions had not changed.

I remember years ago that companies would install

devices called ionizers to add positive ions into the

company air supply to help the employees feel more

upbeat at work. Now you are probably asking your-

self, where is he going with all of this? I believe this

same type of relationship can be had with God,

through His energy. I stated earlier, that our levels of

energy either positive or negative, can be utilized to

shape the kind of life existence we choose to have

while on this planet. Certain influences by other

factors will come into play during our lifetime, but it

is our choices that will direct the final outcome. We

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can attempt to do it with or without Gods plan for

us. The gift of choice, that God gave us at birth, is

very likely the greatest gift we will ever have. It is

unfortunate that it will also be the most abused gift

we use.

How adults view the world around them and the

actions they take, is predetermined by their parents

teaching during their childhood. If we as parents

have a relationship with God, living a Godly lifestyle

this will be reflected in the teachings we pass on to

our children. If we believe we can tell our children

one thing and live something else, this will never

work. By the ages between 3-5 years, how we make

our way through life is already set. We hear parents

instruct their small children to say you are sorry,

when they have taken a toy from another child. This

in itself does absolutely nothing because eventually

they learn that just saying you are sorry, means

you can take anything you want with no

repercussions. If we do not make them understand

how they have hurt the other person, or the fact that

if the other person does not want to give up what

they have, you cannot take it. We can teach our

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children to use their heads or their hearts

allowing them to view their world in completely

different ways.

We must also teach our children to live for what is

happening today and not by past events. The past

should be just that, a lesson about the past and not

impact how we live, our lives, today. Gods

expectation for us, when He created us, was that we

would live the life that He made for us. In the bible,

Genesis 1; 4-5, God saw that the light was good,

and He separated the light from the darkness. God

called the light day and the darkness He called

night. This was the only creation of day that

took place and God planned for us to live in that

day. No where does it say that He expected us to

live in a past day or even a future day, it only

says that we would live in the day, the present.

God even went so far as to make it impossible for us

to live in no more than one day at a time.

We cannot be in two places at once, anymore than a

builder could build more than one house at a time.

He could be working on more than one at a time, but

can only be in one at a time. God gave us signs to

mark the seasons and days and years, but reality is,

we can only be sure of one thing, that is, we have

each single day given to us as the present. If we try

to live in the past, present and future each day,

it will be chaos and lead to insanity. Unfortunately,

that is how a lot of people are living today. Learning

to live in the present and in the presence of God will

bring peace and understanding into an otherwise

chaotic life.

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I remember what my life was like, prior to giving

control of it over to God.

In 1941, when World War II started, my father

signed up for the Royal Canadian Engineers division

of the army. In late summer or fall of 1941, my

mother took the train to Montreal to meet my father

before he left for his final basic training at the East

coast of Canada. At this moment in time, God chose

to start the plan, for the rest of my life. I was

conceived at this time and was born on May 11,

1942. Very soon, after, my father left to go overseas

with his division. My mother had to seek employ-

ment to be able to support her family.

During these early years of my life I was raised by

my grandparents, who lived quite close to us. My

mother and I grew very close to one another during

this period. My father was overseas until I was

nearly five years of age. I will always remember my

The journey

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grandparents as a very loving couple. They were

christian people and always went to church on

Sunday. They appeared quite happy with what

little they had. They would always be singing and

laughing with me.

Years later, other family relatives, said my father was

never the same, when he returned home from the

war. I used to ask who this man was and why was he

staying here? We never became very close, my

father and I, until much later in life. Isnt it strange

that I can say the same thing for my relationship with

my heavenly Father, even though they were both in

my life all this time. My father, mother, two sisters

and I needed to pick up our family life. There was a

lot of pressure to finish building the house my father

had started before the war.

In those days, my family would have been

considered blue collar or working class people. The

entire neighborhood we lived in was made up of

similar families. We think it is terrible when we hear

of all the neighbourhood shootings today, but this

even happened back in the mid nineteen-fifties.

We were playing one day, in front of my grand-

parents house, when one of the kids had been teased

by some others. He ran home angry and then

suddenly from the second story window of his house

he began shooting a rifle. We all ran for cover, but

not before one of the bullets hit my youngest sister.

I thought for sure she was dead. They rushed her off

for medical attention and the police came and

captured him. Fortunately, she had only been grazed

on her side and returned home quickly. This was

certainly an awful scare for all of us and it taught me

how quickly life could change. That night I thanked

God in my prayers for saving my sister.

One incident that now stands out in my mind, as a

Godly moment, was something small but very

important. When I was about fifteen, I was out with

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my friends on a Saturday night. We were just driving

around killing some time when somebody spotted

this really fancy car parked on the side street. It had

very expensive covers (hubcaps) on the wheels.

Someone suggested coming back when it got darker

and helping our selves to the covers. As it came time

to go back, I asked them to let me out of the car so I

could walk or hitch hike home. Before I had gone

very far, they returned. They asked me if I wanted a

ride home and I took it. The next morning two

policemen appeared at my parents door. They got me

out of bed and told me we were going to the police

station. I knew my father would beat the daylights

out of me and so my mother took me to the station.

When we arrived there, I learned that someone had

seen our license plate number and called the police.

They rounded up the driver who gave them the

names of everyone in the car. They questioned me

with my mother in the room. I told them that I had

not been in the car when this took place but they had

offered me a ride home later. The detective said this

was the same information the other boys had offered.

They had to confirm this for the record. My mother

believed me. She said I would not have done this.

I went to church every week and did not get into

trouble. I knew that God had a part in this for sure

when one of my friends probation was that he had to

go to church with me for a set period of time.

It is obvious today that God was working in my life,

although I did not know it then.

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As time progressed into my teenage years, I met a

girl named Marilyn who eventually became my

wife. I am not totally clear about all the circum-

stances, but I do remember that I had made arrange-

ments with her father to look at his car for some

mechanical repairs. They had invited me to stay for

dinner. I realize today that this too would be part of

Gods plan for each of us, as she would need a lot of

support in the future. Initially she refused to sit at the

table with us because she could not stand the

smell of motor oil. God had other plans for us and

circumstances eventually led to our marriage.

Just prior to this period of our upcoming marriage,

I had gone through the lowest period of my life

and I was certainly glad I had Marilyn in my life

to support me. Little did I know that these roles

would be reversed, in a short time. My mother had

developed cancer and spent her last months at

The next phase

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home with us. I did all I could to take care of

her till she passed on. This really devastated me as

I mentioned earlier. Refer to page 31.

After her death I prayed constantly to God, to give

me the strength to go on with my life, and there were

days when I did not care too. Marilyn was with me

trying to give support and lessen the burden that was

seemingly overcoming me.

I was still trying to pull myself together after this

black period, when Marilyn and I were making plans

for our upcoming marriage. We were truly looking

forward to our life as a couple together after the

wedding ceremony. We had started attending church

together, although Marilyn was not a christian at the

time we met. When we were dating, she had shared

with me that she had been adopted and her parents

were not her birth parents. This in itself, did not

have much meaning to me, as lots of people were

adopted. I was soon to learn that this would almost

consume our married life together.

Just days before our wedding day, Marilyn was

talking too her mother and right out of the blue her

mother informs Marilyn who her birth mother was.

It had been another family member whom she had

come to know over the years. This was, I believe,

the very worst situation that would ever happen

to us as a couple and to our marriage. If words could

ever be used for destructive purposes, this was to be

a classic example. This one single event, would have

ramifications that even till today, have not been

completely dealt with.

If you can even imagine two people, attempting to

start a fresh life together, with all this hanging over

them. Me with this huge loss in my heart, from the

death of my mother, and now my wife, with her heart

completely shattered, after receiving this news of her

true birth. This was a deep pit to crawl out of, and we

needed God in our life in a big way. God was all we

had, because we both felt, we had lost all support

from our families.

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We had our wedding in August, 1962 and the two of

us started out together in this new adventure. We

were fortunate to be able to get a new house and get

settled in before starting a family of our own. Our

first child was a little girl and Marilyn was thrilled.

She seemed to be getting better and was very much

in her element with the homemaker role. She

enjoyed keeping the house neat and taking the baby

for walks around the neighborhood. Three years

went by and again we were expecting, this time it

was a little boy. We were both thrilled that God had

seen fit to give us a girl and a boy, but there still

appeared to be some kind of struggle going on

with Marilyn.

We were still attending church on a regular basis, but

Marilyn was struggling with the idea that God could

not appear to help her, in her feelings over the

situation regarding her adoption. She kept telling me

A new start

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that she felt as though she had a hole in her heart,

that just would not heal. We kept praying about this,

but nothing we did seemed to make things any

better. I even began to think we would never get to

resolve this problem. I knew this was satans way of

turning a positive life into a negative, depressed state

so he could keep a hold onto you. The fact that her

relationship with her adopted mother started to

change, because of all this, only made matters

worsen. The more questions Marilyn asked, the

wider the gap became.

Sure enough, it wasnt very long and Marilyn had

an all out breakdown, and had to be hospitalized.

I was now left with two small children, one

practically a baby, to be taken care of and still

trying to support my wife in the hospital. Once more,

it seemed that my life was crashing down around me.

I can honestly say, that I know why some people turn

to alcohol and drugs, when the picture seems so

bleak you cannot foresee any direction that is going

to turn this around. Once again, the only thing I

knew, was to call upon God to give me the strength

and perseverance, to get through all this. I truly

loved my wife and would do whatever it was going

to take to get past this. With Gods loving support

and guidance we managed to weather it out and she

came home to be with her family. Much like, when

my father came home, I was never certain that she

was the same as before all this happened. I believe

this is the purpose why God gave me the title for this

book. We always seem to call upon Him when we

are at our lowest point and we expect God to patch

things up for us, so we can get our lives back on

track again.

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Suffering is a part of life that is in God's plan. He

expects us to suffer, and at the same time has

pledged to us that He will always be there to support

and assist us in carrying our burden. God will not see

us having more than we can handle. In the proper

context, suffering can and should be a positive thing.

If a friend called you up and told you their spouse

was injured in an accident and they needed you,

what would you do. Would you just say, I am sorry

but I have tickets to the theatre, could I get back to

you tomorrow or would you forego the tickets and

tell your friend I will be right there. The human side

would want to go to the theatre rather than losing

their ticket purchase. This is our ego putting I or me

before any one else. The being (spiritual) side of us

would go immediately to assist the friend. Our

conscious spiritual thought will have us doing what

God would do, being there to support anothers

To suffer or not

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burden. Even though we miss the theatre, we can

get past that. By lifting their burden, they will be

strengthened to assist their spouse to get past their

suffering. Your strength, added to the strength of

your friend, will help lessen the burden of the

spouses injury.

Thus a negative can have a positive side. This is

the way God really expects us to live. In Hebrews

3; 12-13, it says See to it, brothers, that none of you

has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from

the living God. But encourage one another daily, as

long as it is called today, so that none of you may be

hardened by sins deceitfulness.

There are times when God sends us clues and

messages that He has a plan for our life and we

just need to acknowledge them. This was one of

those times.

Marilyn and the children had gone away for a few

days, to a friends cottage. I seldom read newspapers,

but this day I opened a paper to the want ads. An ad

for an automotive teacher in Parry Sound appeared

to jump off the page at me. I had never before

thought about something like this, but I could not get

this out of my mind. There was no phone where

Marilyn was staying. I jumped into the car and drove

up to where she was, so we might discuss this

together. I arrived in the middle of the night and

scared the life out of them. She thought that

something terrible must have happened. I told her I

wanted to apply for this job. I think she agreed, just

to please me, thinking it would never happen. I had

The message

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an interview and actually got accepted for the job.

When we went back to look for a place to live, the

only thing available was miles out of town. She told

me she could never live so far out of town with two

small children. After some discussion and prayer,

I decided to turn down the offer. I still believe today,

that God had a plan, for me to teach others.

Life continued much as it had been for a while.

As we grew as a couple so did my involvement at

the church. I had held many different positions

within the church organization. The time I was on

the committee to select a minister was the ultimate

chance to do my best for God. It also turned out to

be the most devastating.

I knew that all eyes of the church would be on

this committee and expectations were high. It was a

long process. Eventually it concluded with the

minister being hired that Marilyn and myself had

recommended. Others had gone to hear him as well,

but some where not quite as certain as we had been.

He began his ministry and for a few years everything

seemed just great. We were quite pleased with the

outcome and I felt I had done the best I could have.

One day I received a phone call. It was a very close

friend, who did not attend our church, but we had

Hard choices

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been close for years. He said that maybe I should pay

some attention to the house were the church

secretary lived. I knew that she had been having a

difficult time recently, but did not fully comprehend

what this might entail. I decided to involve another

very close church friend that I trusted completely.

The two of us staked out, so to speak, the secretarys

house. It was not long and the minister from the

church showed up, walking. This in itself should not

be unusual, except why would he have to park his

car around the corner on the other street instead of

right in front of the house. Visits by your clergy, are

not unusual, until they begin to look suspicious.

When they last for an extended period of time, even

that can be legitimate.

We maintained this investigation for a number of

days and it when on for as long. Upon checking on

the schedule for the minister at the church, it

appeared he was at some other location when we

thought we saw him here. Of course he was!

This ended with him eventually leaving and I was

devastated, simply because I shouldered a lot of the

blame for bringing him here. I started to pull away

from my relationship with the church, as I could not

foresee ever having the same feelings about my

christian life again. This really tore me away from

any personal relationship with God.

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Years went by after the episode at the church, and

I settled into the job that I currently had, being

fairly satisfied with my life. During this period, we

seemed to be living more, for the lifestyle that our

friends were living, instead of the christian life we

should have. I say this, because a lot of our friends

were Christians, but the lives they were living, left

me questioning what a true christian life really was.

A lot of them smoked, drank and partied up a storm.

This did not seem right to me.

I talked to Marilyn about this and we started to draw

even further away from our church. This only made

matters worse, because we now had virtually no

reason, to remain close with God at all. During this

entire period of my life I had always felt that I

understood what a christian life was all about. I was

so far off that it was incredible. I knew who God

was, but did not understand what God was all about.

Understanding

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I realize today that first comes knowledge, then

understanding, and then wisdom. If you miss the

understanding part, the knowledge just becomes

useless information, that you do not use for

Gods work.

I have missed out on so many of Gods

messages because I did not understand what the

message was all about. That had been the case, in the

first instance, were I did not accept the teaching

job that God had brought to me. I will show you

later were he does not give up on this scenario

of teaching.

Another example of Gods intervention, was the

time I had been really suffering greatly with tired-

ness, headaches, and unable to concentrate on any-

thing. It had actually gotten so bad, that when I woke

up in the morning and got out of bed, I would col-

lapse to the floor. I had no idea what was wrong with

me. My doctor told me I was just working too much.

While at work one day, there was a program on the

radio, in the work area outside my office. I could

hear the conversation of the individuals, and I said to

myself, that just sounds like me. From what they

were describing, it was exactly the same symptoms

that I had been suffering with. This was newly

discovered, and was called Sleep Apnea. I called my

doctors office and asked them to get me some

information on this subject. They had not heard of it,

but were willing to look into it.

The very next day they called me with a date for an

appointment at Toronto Western hospital. Most

people were waiting up to six months for their

appointment. I had my visit within less than a

month. After the examination and test results, I had

a breathing machine within a few weeks. The results

had showed that I stopped breathing two hundred

times an hour and they were quite shocked I had not

had a stroke by this time already. Here again God

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had intervened before things got to a point of

no return.

If you think that I was very thankful to God for

what He had done, try again. I went home from the

hospital and found so much energy, that I was taking

on all kinds of jobs I could not do before I got the

CPAP machine. This went on for a number of years

in this fashion and I began to slide even further away

from God. I thought I was doing all this by myself

and did not need any one else. Sound familiar!

I had decided to throw myself into my job, just to

find something with meaning. There was a lot of

pressure being placed upon me, at my work, to

perform at a very high level. I had not lost my

christian beliefs completely, but there was no place

for them at the work place. Many times I would be

criticized by my superior for, as they said, wearing

my heart on my sleeve. This did not make my life

with God any easier.

My employer had made the decision to computerize

the ordering process within the division that I

supervised. I was selected to work with the

computer company to assist the design of all the

necessary documents, for the various departments. I

helped to design and develop the training manual for

the departments. I was involved in the actual training

throughout all the departments that would use the

system. I really was enjoying this and believed this

was the thing that God had set up for me to do. I lost

the first teaching position that came my way. Now I

was being given another opportunity to show what I

could do. Even through all of this, I had slipped to

the point of believing this was all working out

because I was that good on my own.

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pushed right through the gurney. I was certain in my

mind I would hit the floor. The technicians were

administering nitroglycerin via the intravenous

system. Immediately my head felt it was going to

explode, with the pain from the nitroglycerin. I could

not tell which pain was more intense. They said they

were doing all they could.

I do not know how long this went on, but I was

certain I was going to die. I began to pray to God and

ask Him what were my chances of survival. I said,

that if this was my time then I was fully

prepared to go with Him. Then I said, if for any

reason, you have something else that I have not

completed, then tell me and I will do whatever it is

you ask. My life is yours, to do whatever you decide

to do, and with that I blacked out.

During this time period, how long I am not sure,

I remember being taken someplace that I can only

describe this way. There was nothing there, but

blackness and complete silence. I would have to

believe that only a person with no sight and no

hearing would be experiencing this same feeling.

The worst part of this experience was the feeling of

complete aloneness. You could not see another

person or hear another sound, the only sound was the

beating of your own heart. I was not even certain

of that either. If this was not heaven, and I knew it

was not anyplace I had seen on earth. Surely this

was hell.

I woke up, it was the next day and immediately

I knew what decision God had made for me. You just

cannot imagine how thankful to God I was at this

moment. Once the staff realized I was awake, the

doctor came in to see me here in the intensive care

unit. The doctor told me, he did not know how I

was still here, because most patients with an attack

this severe do not usually make it. He also told me

that if I had not come into the hospital when I did,

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I certainly would not have made it from home.

Later that day they took me for an ultra sound of my

heart. It showed me where I had lost approximately

ten percent of my heart muscle. The artery had

become completely blocked. I told the doctors that

God had been with me and it was His choice that I

came through this. When the surgeon told me later

that day, surgery would not guarantee my having

a complete recovery and not living with limitations,

I decided not to have it and in a couple of days was

signed out of the hospital.

My reason for refusing the surgery came from

weighing the risk of having surgery and the life

I could have without it. I could not see going through

surgery for no added benefit, if I could make my

own changes for more benefit. When it came time to

see my family doctor, his advice was that I would

need a complete lifestyle change or I would most

certainly have another heart attack.

I went home from his office, called my employer,

and said I would not be back. I enquired, would a

small pension be possible? We also put our house up

for sale. We knew we could not afford to stay living

here in Mississauga. We went up to our trailer at

Huntsville, Ont. to think about our future. While we

were there, Marilyn drove down a street she had

never been on before and saw a house for sale. We

got an appointment to see it and ended up buying it.

My heart attack was in February and by the end of

August, I had left my job, sold our house and moved

to Huntsville. That was the craziest summer my

family had ever spent, but it was not to be the worst.

Once we got settled in, we found a lot more work

than we imagined.

In a short time period my personal health started to

feel pretty good. I questioned how, with all the

problems that I experienced, I could feel this good.

I gather this goes back to what I said in the beginning

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about were we live having an impact on our health.

I know so many people, that have had bad heart

experiences and live in fear for quite some time, just

waiting for the other shoe to drop and

they are finished. This is such a negative, deep

seeded position to overcome, some times people

actually cause it to happen.

If we are willing to accept the fact that it did happen

and we have very little control over it happening

again, any more than we did the first time. We can do

many things to control our diet, physical health,

lifestyle and all the other things that influence how

we live. We can also put our faith in God, that He

will do everything He can for us, as long as we are

doing everything we can for Him. It is very difficult

for a lot of people to accept that God really does

have a plan for our life. He does not want to cut that

plan short, but when we do so many things against

His plan and fall into Satans trap, why should He be

willing to give us the maximum benefits from this

plan. This would be like working for somebody for

about 20 years and robbing them all during this

period. Then be dumbfounded when we get fired

just before we are about to retire. Quite often, Gods

plan for us, as in my case, never really comes to a

true understanding until later in our life. If we chose

to ignore a lot of the earlier lessons, its because we

were so absorbed in our own negative defeatism.

Then how do we manage to blame God for our

misery?

God wants us to be positive and happy, as this is His

whole goal in our relationship. Once we figure this

out, what a different outlook we get for the world

around us.

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When first arriving in Huntsville, we had not been

attending church, while we tried to settle in.

Eventually we went to a church which was the same

as the type we left behind us. We knew very quickly,

this was not going to work, as not one person tried to

make us feel welcome.

One day, while eating out at Harveys, we met old

friends from our past (another God moment). They

too had moved to Huntsville and were attending the

Faith Baptist church. They suggested we join them

the following Sunday, we did. Once again, I see

today, this too was part of what God was planning

for our lives. He needed us to attend this church, so

He could get us the training we would need, as well

as meet the people that would shape our lives for

later on.

While we enjoyed the church, we got very involved

in the community. I would go out and do small repair

Starting over

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jobs for people, that might not other wise be able to

pay someone. Doing this was very rewarding to me,

especially when you saw how people really

appreciated what you did for them. This too was an

answer to their prayers. I most especially remember

one instance that will stay with me forever.

It started out when I got a message, a lady living out

of town, literally in the bush, had a house with no

door on the kitchen. Now in itself, this does not

sound like a desperate situation, but you will see

how it was to her. You have to understand that not

everyone is living in the same situation in our world.

Sometime those of us living a decent way of life,

often forget that others out there may not be as well

off. This does not mean that these individuals, do not

deserve the same benefits from God that we get.

The little cabin had a country porch added on to the

wall were the kitchen door was and the porch was

not heated. You also need to understand that

minus forty degrees Celsius in the winter is not

uncommon here. It was already winter, when I

decided to begin this particular job, of installing the

door on the kitchen.

The church had agreed to donate the door if I did

the labor. The lady had left for work before I arrived

and explained were to get the key to let myself in.

I opened up the cabin and proceeded ahead with the

job. Within an hour, a storm hit the area and it was

freezing rain. I had started off working outside, on

her front porch, but quickly had to move my tools

into my vehicle. I had to go in and out to my vehicle

to do the work, and the ice was starting to build up

on everything, making work extremely difficult.

There were moments when I contemplated just

giving up, but knew God wanted this finished.

I completed the work around mid afternoon. As I

cleaned up my tools I saw that my vehicle had built

up about a half inch of ice all over it. It took almost

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an hour of cleaning to get were I could drive the car.

Now I had to face the roads. Remember I am back in

the bush with no help and no cell phone. I drove

down the icy roads and prayed to God for safety,

all the way home.

That night I answered the phone and some one was

crying on the other end. I did not understand what

was going on. Finally a voice on the other end said

she wanted to thank me so much for the new door.

This was the first time she was able to cook her

dinner without wearing her coat inside to keep her

warm. The appreciation in her voice was all I

needed to hear, to make it all worth while. God had

answered another prayer!

While attending this Baptist church, we had both

gotten baptized and had started going to regular

bible study groups. All the while doing this there was

still the question in the back of my mind as to what

God really had in mind for me. We made many

friends in the neighborhood and really enjoyed

spending time with these people. Little did we know

then, this simple gesture of making friends with

new people was to be our training for our future

programs with God.

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In 2005 things started to unravel for our lives again.

Seems just as the high would come, so would the

lows. We had two sheltie dogs when we came too

Huntsville. In the month of May, our male dog took

sick with cancer and had to be put down. This was

very tough on both of us. We had not done

anything like this for many years, and the dog was

only eight.

At the end of May, Marilyns mother took ill and

passed away very quickly. This took a huge toll on

Marilyn as her parents were both living in Port

Credit, four hours away. After the service we stayed

with her father to help clean up his house and

property. This took most of the summer and I had to

call upon our neighbors back home to care for our

own house. This showed us how much these people

thought of us, as they pitched in without any

question. Marilyns father decided he wanted to sell

The worst pit yet

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his house and move in with either of his daughters.

Marilyn wanted him to come with us. She saw that

he might not take care of himself if left on his own

and his health was beginning to fail also. With my

own health not one hundred percent, all this

travelling back and forth and the heavy work

involved, I started to feel pretty worn out myself.

I had been in the hospital in Huntsville for a routine

examination of my stomach for too much stomach

acid, (you think), and during the examination the

doctor went beyond the stomach into the duodenum.

Well, he discovers a tumor growing in there and I am

scheduled later, to have it removed at St. Michaels

hospital in Toronto.

When it comes time for the surgery at Toronto, they

ask me how did we happen to find this, at such a

location. It was situated such that it could seal off the

pancreas fluid exit and I could have died from pan-

creatitus. It was by accident I say, but today I know

that God had taken the doctor to this place.

As I am waiting to go into surgery, I am introduced

to a doctor who is doing the operation, what a

surprise. It is not my doctor, but a doctor from New

York city. He is the best in the world to have

successfully done this operation many times. He

pioneered this routine when he worked at St.

Michaels and now was here to operate on me, as he

is the best for the job. What grace God has when He

goes to these lengths just for someone like me, an

ordinary man. The surgery was being telivised by

satellite around the world, as a teaching program.

Sound familiar, God and the teaching aspect again!

We had an opportunity, to enjoy Marilyns father

with us, for a little over five months. He had severe

health problems and Marilyn found she just did not

have the strength to take care of certain physical

aspects that had to be performed. So with Gods help

I offered to do these things for him in her place.

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I found this somewhat difficult, but with God

helping me, I got through it.

Now, while we were having our own personal

struggles, my sister closest to me by age found out

her husband had a very rapid cancer diagnosis.

Struggling with this by herself, she needed someone

to look too for help, hence here I go again. I was very

appreciative that our youngest sister was able to

jump in and lend a hand, as I was starting to feel that

life itself was starting to overpower me. I was

calling out to God every night for the strength to

survive this debilitating time.

When we got the call that my brother-in-law was

doing poorly, we felt it best to get down to Orillia

and visit him. We had only just driven back home to

Huntsville and that evening the call came that he had

passed away. This shock in itself was bad, but then

Marilyns dad had to go into the hospital and also

passed away two days after my brother-in-law. Here

we are, now having to run between Orillia and

Huntsville for two funerals at the same time. Gods

love and grace most certainly was upon us at

this time or we would never have survived the

whole ordeal.

This whole year 2005 had been one of the most try-

ing periods in our lives. If a test of your strength and

faith in God was ever to be challenged, this was the

year it happened. We could never have made it

without God there by our side, leading us onward.

He even had a plan to help us recover from all this

when some friends invited us to join them in Destin,

Florida. They had contacted their rental owner to see

if she had an empty unit for a few weeks and she did.

This was the beginning of my relationship full time

with God.

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A relationship develops

Once we got to Florida we discovered a marvelous

church, called Village Baptist. We began to meet

christian snowbirds at the church and I joined in on

the Saturday morning bible study for men. These

people came from all over the USA and Canada. It

certainly opened our eyes to all different aspects of

christianity that we had never seen before this. It was

almost as if the whole teaching of our christian life

had been in a vacuum. The outpouring of grace from

these strangers to us was overwhelming. Stu Nelson

the pastor in charge of the snowbirds was like no one

we had ever met in our lives. Between him and Miss

Nancy, as they called her, they shared a love for God

that we had never seen before this time.

We came home from there that year, with a renewed

feeling about life that was almost more than we

could contain. This was really great, until we arrived

back home and I suppose like anything else all good

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news isnt shared the same way by everyone. I

wanted to share the way I felt with everyone around

us, but some just were not ready for me.

Good news wasnt all that we came home with that

first year. I had injured my knee on the beach and

when I arrived home, had to go to Orillia for

orthoscopic surgery that summer. God took care of

me again and I had the surgery very quickly, instead

of waiting in pain for months till it happened. We

found that, half way through our summer, all we

could think of was getting back to Florida and seeing

all the people again.

I have now learned that just because a person calls

themselves an evangelical, they may not be

evangelistic. The difference being that, an

evangelical christian can proclaim the gospel of

salvation and then just ends the conversation and

moves on, whereas an evangelistic christian will

proclaim the gospel and then wants to stick around

and talk and pray with you. This is neither, right or

wrong on anyones part, just a differing of persons

and their approach.

As the winter came closer, so did the time for our

next vacation. The situation with me having a weak

knee after the surgery, started us thinking about

perhaps moving into a bungalow. We did not find

anything we liked that well, so we started

negotiations with a builder, to have a brand new

house built. We paid him a deposit for the land and

would negotiate the balance when we returned home

from our winter vacation. We agreed to place our

home for sale, when we got back, and this would

give us roughly six weeks to firm up our deal.

We had always wanted to take our family to Walt

Disney World on a family vacation and this was the

year we had chosen. Arrangements had been made

for us to drive down early and all the kids and grand

kids would fly down a day or so later. We looked so

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much for this to be a wonderful time to share with

our whole family together, as this is very often a

once in a lifetime opportunity.

Well, the surgery I had, left me with a slight weak

knee. I could not walk for long distances, and the

heat would get to me if I stayed out for a long

period in the sun. My family arranged for a wheel

chair, to help me out with the walking but,

unfortunately I missed a lot of the events, due to

going back to the motel and lying down in the

afternoon. Overall it was a great vacation with the

kids, with one exception.

This one afternoon I lined up for the big parade, in a

special section for all the wheelchairs. All the kids

were with us and it was a little crowded, when just

as the parade almost gets to our location, my wife

decides to give me a better view. She moved the

wheelchair, which could not go anywhere due to the

crowd, and she shoved me over the curb and I spilled

out onto the road, right in front of the parade people.

She and all the kids burst out in laughter, while

people rushed to pick me up as I am carrying a

video camera and other items. I was not thrilled and

this was, of course, the conversation for the rest of

the vacation.

We left there and arrived in Destin again and took up

right were we left off. This year was to be very

different, when we signed up for a class with the

senior pastor at the church. His name was Steven

Davies, and I knew from the very start that I would

be changed in some form after this vacation. We

thoroughly enjoyed his course, and I spent many an

afternoon being able to just drop into his office to

have a conversation about God. He did tell me that,

I had to learn to hold back a little on my approach to

people. He said that I came at them like a bowling

ball going for a strike, instead of just wanting to get

their attention.

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That winter was the time that God asked me to write

this book and I believed this to be a joke on me and

tried to just let it go. God did not joke around, in this

case and when He wanted something done, it just

would not leave your head. He tossed every kind of

message at me until finally I said, OK. I did not

complete a lot of work on the book, that first winter,

but did get off to a good start.

Pastor Stu was looking for some men to help with a

program that helped people from the church who had

terminal illnesses. The mans name was Mike and he

had cancer. I went with some other fellows to where

his workshop had been. We thought it would be at

his home, but it turned out to be his business, and we

were going to clean it all out, ready for auction. I had

never done anything like this before and what made

it even worse for me was the fact, they actually

brought him there to tell us what to keep and let go.

As we worked through the day, I had an opportunity

to speak with Mike about how he was handling his

illness and what he thought for his future. A sadness

started to come over me and yet, at the same time,

knowing that he was all right with this seemed to

make it ok. I felt sad because, this was this mans

entire life here before us and some of it was kept and

some went in the trash. How do we make these kinds

of decisions?

He was very clear that he knew he was dying and his

relationship with God at this time was one that I had

never discussed with anyone before. A couple of

weeks later we went to his home and did a big

cleanup in his yard, so that his wife would not have

to do it later. Again the opportunity to sit and talk

with him arose, and he was one of the strongest

persons I had ever met. At noon that day, Stus

wife came with food for everyone, and even she

was fighting a cancer illness. This whole matter of

people with such strength from God just blew me

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away. If this does not change a person, nothing will.

The two of us, Marilyn and I, shared a lot of fun

times with our friends, Canadian and American, and

it was soon time to go back home.

Even bigger decisions

We arrived back in Huntsville, mid to late March,

and contacted the real estate broker to put the house

up for sale. Knowing the price of the new home gave

us a place to start, with our asking price for the

current house. We waited with eager anticipation for

the offers to come in, as the date to start digging the

new foundation, was only a little over a month away.

The weeks seemed to go by, like a rocket heading to

the moon, and not one offer had been placed with

the agent.

We started to get concerned as the third week passed,

and called the builder for a meeting. We explained to

him that, if the price of our old house had to be

lowered, it would place a bigger burden on the

payment of the new house. He told us there was no

room to adjust his price and it was pretty much set.

We left that meeting very dejected, as this did not

seem to be going as we had hoped it would.

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After praying about it all night, we called the builder

back in the morning, and asked if we could get out

of the deal and have our deposit back. He agreed to

this and said he was quite sorry things did not appear

to be working for us. While we were at his office,

picking up our cheque, two phone calls came to our

answering machine for people to look at the house.

We knew immediately that God had not wanted us to

have this new house, as it would have been too big a

burden to carry it.

That afternoon, our neighbors came over for coffee,

to console us. They knew how badly we had wanted

to have the new house built and saw the hurt that we

were suffering. They brought a magazine for us to

read and I had tossed it on the coffee table, it opened

up to a page were an advertisement for an adult

living community was printed.

Later when Marilyn came by she saw the advertise-

ment and started to read it. She called me in to ask

me if I had read this and I had not. We were sitting

with our house for sale and no were to go, so she said

lets call them and get an appointment. She was

especially interested because the area for this

community was only thirty minutes from our kids

address. We came to Freelton the next week, and fell

in love with the community, and put in a conditional

offer right then.

Over the summer we had offers three different times

and each time we felt we would be moving, they all

fell through for various reasons. We had been

dropping our price each time and were now at a

point that even getting this new house looked like it

might not happen. The very first offer we got was a

cash offer and the people had come in ridiculously

low, but at this point, even that offer was starting to

look like a possibility. We prayed about this again

and I told Marilyn that now it was about the

moving, not getting our price. If God had lead us to

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this new place, then we had to go regardless about

the cost.

We called up the first couple and they were still

interested, so we accepted their offer and sold it for

sixty thousand dollars below our original asking

price. All the documents were prepared and signed

for a cash deal, and a few days later, after we had

firmed up the deal on the new house, the lady tried

to cancel the deal at Huntsville.

This process had just about worn us out over the

summer, as so many times we thought we were

going and they fell through, this was almost too

much for my wife. I could see the strain coming on

her, just like it had the other time, she had been hos-

pitalized and it scared the life out of me. We let the

lawyers work it out and carried on with our plans to

go. Many of our church friends kept saying we were

not meant to go, but I was positive God would come

through for us, I never gave up hope.

The movers that we had arranged now wanted to

charge us by weight, not the load, and it was going

to be more than we could afford. It seemed that all

was falling apart in our life again, until a christian

friend who did auctions said he could move us.

Another christian friend called us and offered to

move all my shop equipment from the garage, this

was all the heavy stuff which had ran up the other

price. These offers were an answer to our prayers

and we wanted to leave so bad by now, we left a

week before the old house closed, just to get out

of there.

We finally got moved, in a couple of trips and our

neighbors called the next Saturday. The old house

closed on the Friday, and Saturday had a for sale

sign on it. What a blessing it was to see the end of

that. Of course, everyone that knew us, thought we

had lost the deal again and the calls were pouring in

to console us. We just chuckled and thanked God for

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taking care of all our problems for us.

It had been tough to leave our very close neighbors

that we had come to love dearly, but we were

keeping in touch by phone as often as possible. We

knew that God had now brought us to the next phase

of our journey with Him.

The answer to the question

It was the first Tuesday in October, 2007, when we

arrived at our new home in Antrim Glen adult

community. There was an awful lot of work to do,

just to get settled in and we did not know a single

person there, (or so we thought). After a solid week

of work, I told Marilyn we had to get out and look

around the community. Marilyn went to the ladies

bible study on the next Monday and I was planning

to go to the mens study on Thursday. A neighbor

lady around the corner, Elizabeth asked Marilyn to

come to the couples study on Tuesday nights. She

was not sure if I would go so she said, Ill let you

know. That Tuesday morning a knock at the door,

revealed Elizabeth wanting to know my answer.

Marilyn looked at me and we said, yes. That night as

we entered the home of the couple hosting the study,

Marilyn screams out, I know you! It seems that

she had attended the same high school with this

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couple back in Port Credit were we had lived. From

there, things have just grown incredibly for us, with

God performing all these things that just keep

making us more comfortable in this place every day.

It is now for certain, that Gods plan for us, was to be

brought to this community.

We have been back to Florida since moving and this

year we are staying in a new place, right on the

ocean. This is on the fourth floor and the view is

incredible, dolphins swimming past, sunrises,

sunsets, etc. I have spent most of the holiday

reading, and writing my own book. I read five books

this winter, it was almost like I could not get enough

information. My own book is more than half

completed.

When we left home to come down to Florida, our pet

dog seemed to be getting sick. Over the vacation she

got much worse, we left a week early to go home, as

I would not leave her down there. One week after

getting home she passed on. Another phase of our

lives seemed to be coming to a close, with this our

last pet.

Our new family doctor wanted to get a new reading

on all my medical problems. I was scheduled for an

angeogram and the day of, was told it was

impossible, too blocked up for stints. I was then

scheduled for a triple bypass surgery, but it to was

canceled due mainly to the amount of risk involved.

I will not be physically capable of going through the

tumor operation either, (it grew back) unless I have

the heart surgery first.

At this time, I am of the belief that God is intending

to look after me from here on. I had already made the

decision in 1999 to give my entire life over to God

and now am still living a positive life, with the help

from God and will live within my limitations. The

greatest outlook I have right now is, knowing that

I have a relationship with God that is very

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meaningful and I get to spend as much time as

I have with my wife, doing what we want.

A genuine relationship is one that is not dominated

by the ego, with its image making and self-seeking.

In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of

open, alert attention toward the other person, in

which there is no wanting whatsoever. The alert

attention, is Presence.

My desire is that this book has opened your mind

to God and may have had some small impact on

your life.

Acknowlegement

I want to acknowledge the two people that really

showed me the way to communicate with God.

The first person was an individual named Mike

Tracy, who I met in Florida. Mike was dying of

cancer and taught me what it was to really trust God

even though you knew that your time here was

limited. He showed me a strength that I had never

understood before. He was living in peace even

through all his pain. I felt he was an amazing person.

Secondly, Pastor Steven Davies, of Village Baptist

church, for the short time I knew him, was a great

mentor to me. He taught me to allow myself to gain

control of the feeling for God that I had now, and not

knock people over with my enthusiasm. Our

afternoon discussions gave me a whole new insight

into our God. I cannot thank him enough for all he

did for me.

This book is dedicated to these two individuals,

in thanks and memorial.

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