God’s Plan for MarriageEphesians 5:21-33

“While fewer Canadians are getting married, the institution remains the single most common foundation on which Canadians build a family… The fact that married-couple families with children are still the largest group certainly indicates that marriage is an important component of family life. We're seeing more diversity with the increase in common-law families but marriage overall remains an important family structure.” (Anne Milan, senior analyst StatsCan)

Last Week:

A Spirit-filled life is demonstrated by mutual submission between followers of Christ.

Submission is an important theme in Paul’s letters

Practical examples of submission:• marriage – the husband-wife relationship• family – the child-parent relationship• work – the slave-masters

God’s Plan for Marriage:

1. Instructions to Wives

2. Instructions to Husbands

3. A Relationship of Mutual Love & Respect

There is a God designed arrangement in a marriage relationship:

described by “submission” & “headship”

The foundation of marriage begins and ends with a mutual submission of one to another out of reverence for Christ (v.21)

1. Instructions to Wives

Ephesians 5:22–23 - Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Christianity brought significant changes for women:

• equal value with men in God’s eyes (Gal.3)

• permission to dissolve the marriage if the unbelieving husband wanted to leave (1 Cor.7)

Titus 2:4,5 [ESV] – “...to train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands…

...that the word of God may not be reviled.

The rationale for a wife’s submission:

Ephesians 5:23 - For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.

The meaning of “headship”:

NOT spiritual superiority

Galatians 3:28 - There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

God has designed an ordered equality in the marriage relationship.

There is no superiority or inferiority – simply differing roles (Kent Hughes)

Submission is to be consistent within the context Christ’s example of submission and it is to be consistent with His character.

Submission a wife voluntarily recognizes and yields her will to her husband who has been called by God to provide leadership in the home.

A husband will be held to greater accountability before God as leader in the home.

A Christian wife can challenge her husband with a humble spirit which still strives to honor his leadership.

The marriage relationship is to model the relationship between Christ and His church

2. Instructions to Husbands

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Love to the same extent that Christ loved the church – He died for His bride.

Are you demonstrating that kind of self-giving love to your wife?

Husbands have been given responsibility to lead their wives by love – not dominance.

Jesus’ definition of greatness:

Matthew 20:25–28 - “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

The husband is responsible

to love his wife;

to nurture her;

to protect her;

to promote her well being

Self-giving loves demands:• sensitivity to her feelings• being courteous to her• having open communication with her.

3. A Relationship of Mutual Love and Respect

Ephesians 5:21 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:33 - Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Dr. Emerson EggerichChristian counselorPh.D, Child and Family Ecology

During marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved.

The Crazy Cycle: “Without love a wife reacts without respect, and without respect a husband reacts without love.”

Husbands / wives – God calls each of us to be responsible for our part in the relationship.

The marriage relationship is one of giving oneself for the sake of the other

The marriage relationship is one of mutual submission:

• the wife giving her husband respect as the leaders and head of the home;

• the husband responding to his wife with self-giving, self-sacrificing love.

Marriage reflects the covenant relationship that God has with his people

a union that mirrors the union that Christ has with the church, His bride.