god’s plan for marriage. we need god’s help to have his riches blessings. our society or...

God’s Plan for MarriageGod’s Plan for Marriage

We need God’s help to have His riches We need God’s help to have His riches blessings.blessings.

• Our society or "culture" has contributed to Our society or "culture" has contributed to the "quick fix" mentality.the "quick fix" mentality.

• The world focus on romance and making it The world focus on romance and making it to the marriage ceremony.to the marriage ceremony.

• Happiness is pictured as "getting" things, Happiness is pictured as "getting" things, receiving praise and accomplishing receiving praise and accomplishing goals. Problems can be shrugged off. It goals. Problems can be shrugged off. It will be “happily ever after.”will be “happily ever after.”


• Finally marriages can be abruptly ended in Finally marriages can be abruptly ended in divorce because "things just will not work divorce because "things just will not work out." Sacrifice and working out hard out." Sacrifice and working out hard problems are considered unreasonable.problems are considered unreasonable.

• These approaches are widespread These approaches are widespread because it comes from the ruler of this because it comes from the ruler of this world. world. (1 Jn 2:15-17; Jn 14:30)(1 Jn 2:15-17; Jn 14:30)


• (John 14:30 NKJV)(John 14:30 NKJV) - “I will no longer talk - “I will no longer talk much with you, for much with you, for the ruler of this worldthe ruler of this world is is coming, and coming, and he has nothing in Mehe has nothing in Me.”.”


• (1 John 2:15-17 NKJV)(1 John 2:15-17 NKJV) - “ - “Do not love the Do not love the worldworld or or the things in the worldthe things in the world. If anyone . If anyone loves the world, loves the world, the love of the Father is the love of the Father is not in himnot in him.. {16} {16} For all that For all that is is in the world; in the world; the lust of the fleshthe lust of the flesh, , the lust of the eyesthe lust of the eyes, , and and the pride of lifethe pride of life; is not of the Father ; is not of the Father but is of the world.but is of the world. {17} {17} And And the world is the world is passing awaypassing away, and the lust of it; but , and the lust of it; but he he who does the will of God abides foreverwho does the will of God abides forever.”.”


• The worldly way is widespread because it has The worldly way is widespread because it has selfishness at its root.selfishness at its root.

• Worldliness always takes the short view, the Worldliness always takes the short view, the easy way out and runs from problems. easy way out and runs from problems. (How many have later been involved in other (How many have later been involved in other “relationships?”)“relationships?”)

• In the pursuit of self, those held captive to the In the pursuit of self, those held captive to the world will find bitterness in this life and torment world will find bitterness in this life and torment in the next. (Ex. Divorces within church.)in the next. (Ex. Divorces within church.)


• A worldly man will take those who are A worldly man will take those who are most precious to them and ignore or most precious to them and ignore or discard them. There is a better way to discard them. There is a better way to live! live! (Jn 10:10)(Jn 10:10)


• (John 10:10 NKJV)(John 10:10 NKJV) “”The thief does not “”The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that destroy. I have come that they may have they may have lifelife, and that , and that they may have they may have it it more more abundantlyabundantly.”.”


• The transition from wedding to marriage is The transition from wedding to marriage is a transition from emotion to reality.a transition from emotion to reality.

• In marriage you are seen for your real In marriage you are seen for your real character. (Ex. Phone call at 3 AM)character. (Ex. Phone call at 3 AM)

• If the love of God is there then a patient If the love of God is there then a patient change will occur year by year.change will occur year by year.

• Will we choose God’s wisdom or Satan’s? Will we choose God’s wisdom or Satan’s? (Jas 3:13-18)(Jas 3:13-18)


• (James 3:13-18 NKJV)(James 3:13-18 NKJV) “ “Who Who is is wise and wise and understanding among youunderstanding among you? Let him show ? Let him show by good conduct by good conduct that that his works his works are done are done in the meekness of wisdom.in the meekness of wisdom. {14} {14} But if you But if you have have bitter envybitter envy and and self-seekingself-seeking in your in your hearts, hearts, do not boastdo not boast and and lie against the lie against the truthtruth.. {15} {15} This wisdom does not descend This wisdom does not descend from abovefrom above, but , but is is earthly, sensual, earthly, sensual, demonic.demonic.


• {16} {16} For where envy and self-seeking For where envy and self-seeking exist, exist, confusionconfusion and and every evil thing every evil thing are are therethere.. {17} {17} But the But the wisdom that is from wisdom that is from aboveabove is is first purefirst pure, then , then peaceablepeaceable, , gentlegentle, , willing to yieldwilling to yield, , full of mercyfull of mercy and good and good fruits, fruits, without partialitywithout partiality and and without without hypocrisyhypocrisy.. {18} {18} Now the fruit of Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.”who make peace.”

You should not rush marriageYou should not rush marriage

• One should have confidence in their One should have confidence in their relationship! relationship!

• Consider what Paul said about Timothy. Consider what Paul said about Timothy. (Phil 2:20-23)(Phil 2:20-23)


• Philippians 2:20-23 (NKJV)Philippians 2:20-23 (NKJV) - For - For I have I have no one like-mindedno one like-minded, who will sincerely care , who will sincerely care for your state. 21 For for your state. 21 For all seek their ownall seek their own, , not the things which are of Christ Jesus. not the things which are of Christ Jesus. 22 But 22 But you know his proven characteryou know his proven character, that , that as a son with as a son with hishis father he served with me father he served with me in the gospel. 23 Therefore I hope to send in the gospel. 23 Therefore I hope to send him at once, as soon as I see how it goes him at once, as soon as I see how it goes with me.with me.


• Some are afraid to lose the one they “love” Some are afraid to lose the one they “love” so they rush into marriage!so they rush into marriage!

• What is true love? It is a commitment of What is true love? It is a commitment of the will based upon the example of the will based upon the example of Christ. Christ. (1 John 3:16; 4:7-11)(1 John 3:16; 4:7-11)


• 1 John 3:16 (NKJV)1 John 3:16 (NKJV) - - By this we know By this we know lovelove, because , because He laid down His life for usHe laid down His life for us. . And we also ought And we also ought to lay down to lay down ourour lives lives for the brethrenfor the brethren. .


• 1 John 4:7-11 (NKJV)1 John 4:7-11 (NKJV) - Beloved, - Beloved, let us let us love one anotherlove one another, for , for love is of Godlove is of God; and ; and everyone who loves is born of Godeveryone who loves is born of God and and knows God. 8 He who knows God. 8 He who does not love does does not love does not know Godnot know God, for , for God is loveGod is love. 9 In this the . 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through into the world, that we might live through Him. Him.


• 10 In 10 In this is lovethis is love, not that we loved God, , not that we loved God, but but that He loved usthat He loved us and sent His Son and sent His Son to to bebe the propitiation for our sins. 11 the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, Beloved, if God so loved usif God so loved us, , we also ought we also ought to love one anotherto love one another..


• What should you do if you have doubts What should you do if you have doubts about the one you are dating having this about the one you are dating having this kind of love? True love will grow stronger kind of love? True love will grow stronger over time not weaker! (Ex. JAMOT)over time not weaker! (Ex. JAMOT)

• You should be ready to assume the You should be ready to assume the responsibilities of marriage. responsibilities of marriage. (Gen 2:23-24)(Gen 2:23-24)


• Genesis 2:23-24 (NKJV)Genesis 2:23-24 (NKJV) - And Adam - And Adam said: “This said: “This isis now bone of my bones And now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and wife, and they shall become one fleshthey shall become one flesh..


• As the husband I must be ready to provide As the husband I must be ready to provide for my home. for my home. (Eph 4:28)(Eph 4:28)


• Ephesians 4:28 (NKJV)Ephesians 4:28 (NKJV) - Let him who - Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather stole steal no longer, but rather let him let him labor, working with labor, working with hishis hands hands what is what is good, good, that he may have somethingthat he may have something to give to give him who has need.him who has need.


• Many are unprepared to live as one. They Many are unprepared to live as one. They want to be single with their decisions, want to be single with their decisions, time, spending and interests. time, spending and interests.

• Some are encouraged to marry too early Some are encouraged to marry too early from misapplying bible passages.from misapplying bible passages.

• Some say that if you are so strongly Some say that if you are so strongly attracted to another that you should marry. attracted to another that you should marry. (1 Cor 7:8-9) (1 Cor 7:8-9)


• 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NKJV)1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (NKJV) - But I say to - But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For let them marry. For it is better to marry it is better to marry than to burn than to burn with passionwith passion..


• This passage is dealing with the decision This passage is dealing with the decision to remain single or to pursue marriage. If to remain single or to pursue marriage. If you do pursue marriage this is not the only you do pursue marriage this is not the only consideration!consideration!

• Some try to use this verse to justify all Some try to use this verse to justify all marriages.marriages.

The Unselfish Service of the Husband The Unselfish Service of the Husband (Eph 5:25-29)(Eph 5:25-29)

• (Ephesians 5:25-29 NKJV)(Ephesians 5:25-29 NKJV) “ “HusbandsHusbands, , love your wives, love your wives, just as Christ also loved just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for herthe church and gave Himself for her,, {26} {26} that He might sanctify and cleanse her that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,with the washing of water by the word, {27} {27} that He might present her to Himself a that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.holy and without blemish.


• {28} {28} So So husbandshusbands ought to love their own ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.his wife loves himself. {29} {29} For no one For no one ever hated his own flesh, but ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes nourishes and cherishes itand cherishes it, just , just as the Lord as the Lord does does the the churchchurch.” .”


• To To alwaysalways seek to understand the wife. seek to understand the wife. (1 Pt 3:7)(1 Pt 3:7)


• (1 Peter 3:7 NKJV)(1 Peter 3:7 NKJV) - “Husbands, - “Husbands, likewise, likewise, dwell with dwell with them them with with understandingunderstanding, giving , giving honor to the wifehonor to the wife, as , as to the weaker vessel, and as to the weaker vessel, and as being being heirs heirs together of the grace of lifetogether of the grace of life, that your , that your prayers may not be hindered.”prayers may not be hindered.”


• The very act of seeking understanding The very act of seeking understanding shows humility and care.shows humility and care.

• How would you like a boss who cared How would you like a boss who cared nothing about your thoughts?nothing about your thoughts?

• Do you understand the great risk your wife Do you understand the great risk your wife has taken in submitting to you?has taken in submitting to you?

• She depends on you as the breadwinner. She depends on you as the breadwinner. (Gen 3:19; Eph 4:28)(Gen 3:19; Eph 4:28)


• (Genesis 3:19 NKJV)(Genesis 3:19 NKJV) “In “In the sweat of the sweat of your faceyour face you shall eat bread Till you you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you taken; For dust you are, are, And to dust you And to dust you shall return.””shall return.””


• (Ephesians 4:28 NKJV)(Ephesians 4:28 NKJV) “Let him who “Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, labor, working with working with his his handshands what is what is good, that he may have something to give good, that he may have something to give him who has need.”him who has need.”


• She depends upon you for her emotional She depends upon you for her emotional needs.needs.

• She depends upon you for your spiritual She depends upon you for your spiritual leadership. leadership. (1 Cor 11:3)(1 Cor 11:3)


• (1 Corinthians 11:3 NKJV)(1 Corinthians 11:3 NKJV) “But I want “But I want you to know that the head of every man is you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman Christ, the head of woman is is man, and the man, and the head of Christ head of Christ is is God.”God.”


• In dating she would not have imagined you In dating she would not have imagined you ever forsaking these duties. ever forsaking these duties.

• Some men are satisfied with just bringing Some men are satisfied with just bringing the money home!the money home!

• In divorce these vulnerabilities are clearly In divorce these vulnerabilities are clearly seen.seen.

• Please notice that he should Please notice that he should alwaysalways seek seek to understand!to understand!


• To be a spiritual leader. (Eph 5:27)To be a spiritual leader. (Eph 5:27)


• (Ephesians 5:27 NKJV)(Ephesians 5:27 NKJV) “that He might “that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”without blemish.”


• This is the greatest duty of the man. This is the greatest duty of the man. (Mt 6:33)(Mt 6:33)


• (Matthew 6:33 NKJV)(Matthew 6:33 NKJV) “”But “”But seek firstseek first the the kingdom of God and His righteousness, kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to and all these things shall be added to you.”you.”


• When a man surrenders the spiritual When a man surrenders the spiritual leadership to the woman he is making a leadership to the woman he is making a clear statement as to what is important to clear statement as to what is important to him.him.


• Are you making decisions that will best Are you making decisions that will best cause spiritual growth?cause spiritual growth?

• In attending services?In attending services?

• In leading in worship at home?In leading in worship at home?

• In decisions concerning time, money, In decisions concerning time, money, vacations and associates?vacations and associates?


• Please do not grudgingly do these things Please do not grudgingly do these things with as little effort as possible.with as little effort as possible.


• To be willing to listen and yield in To be willing to listen and yield in decision makingdecision making. . (Phil 2:3-4)(Phil 2:3-4)


• (Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV)(Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV) “Let “Let nothing nothing be be done done through selfish ambition or conceit, through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind but in lowliness of mind let each esteem let each esteem others better than himselfothers better than himself.. {4} {4} Let each of Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, you look out not only for his own interests, but also but also for the interests of othersfor the interests of others.”.”


• Headship means you can overrule when Headship means you can overrule when there is a disagreement, but when?there is a disagreement, but when?

• Consider some attitudes towards money Consider some attitudes towards money and spending.and spending.

The Unselfish Service of the Wife The Unselfish Service of the Wife (Eph 5:22)(Eph 5:22)

• (Ephesians 5:22 NKJV)(Ephesians 5:22 NKJV) “Wives, submit “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”


• To seek to respect and praise the To seek to respect and praise the husbandhusband. . (Eph 5:33)(Eph 5:33)


• (Ephesians 5:33 NKJV)(Ephesians 5:33 NKJV) “Nevertheless let “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife own wife as himself, and let the wife see see that she respects that she respects her her husbandhusband.”.”


• There are fewer things more difficult for a There are fewer things more difficult for a man to deal with than disrespect.man to deal with than disrespect.

• It may be overt in the form of open attack or It may be overt in the form of open attack or more subtle in sarcastic answers and more subtle in sarcastic answers and remarks.remarks.

• The response of the man will be either to The response of the man will be either to attack or withdraw.attack or withdraw.

• What does your husband see and hear What does your husband see and hear when he comes in?when he comes in?


• A disrespectful wife has a corrupted heart. A disrespectful wife has a corrupted heart. Here is where you must learn what it Here is where you must learn what it means to be a Christian. means to be a Christian. (1 Pt 3:1-4)(1 Pt 3:1-4)


• (1 Peter 3:1-4 NKJV)(1 Peter 3:1-4 NKJV) “Wives, likewise, “Wives, likewise, be be submissive to your own husbands, that submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, even if some do not obey the word, they, without a wordwithout a word, may be won by the conduct , may be won by the conduct of their wives,of their wives, {2} {2} when they observe when they observe your your chaste conduct chaste conduct accompanied accompanied by fearby fear.. {3} {3} Do not let your adornment be Do not let your adornment be merely merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on or putting on fine fine apparel;apparel;


• {4} {4} rather rather let it be let it be the hidden person of the the hidden person of the heartheart, with the incorruptible , with the incorruptible beauty beauty of a of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” precious in the sight of God.”


• To patiently yield to his judgment.To patiently yield to his judgment. (Col 3:18)(Col 3:18)


• (Colossians 3:18 NKJV)(Colossians 3:18 NKJV) “Wives, submit “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”Lord.”


• There is a limit to this submission. There is a limit to this submission. (Acts 5:29)(Acts 5:29)


• (Acts 5:29 NKJV)(Acts 5:29 NKJV) “But Peter and the “But Peter and the other other apostles answered and said: “apostles answered and said: “We We ought to obey God rather than menought to obey God rather than men.”.”


• There are ways a woman can "force the issue" There are ways a woman can "force the issue" to get what she wants or tear down his to get what she wants or tear down his judgments when she does not get her way.judgments when she does not get her way.

• What should a woman do when she disagrees What should a woman do when she disagrees or wishes to be heard? A wise husband will or wishes to be heard? A wise husband will always welcome her input!always welcome her input!

• Again when an impatient wife badgers to get Again when an impatient wife badgers to get her way she will often find a distant man who her way she will often find a distant man who pulls back into his work. pulls back into his work.


• To set an example of humble service to To set an example of humble service to God.God. (1 Pet 3:5-6)(1 Pet 3:5-6)


• (1 Peter 3:5-6 NKJV)(1 Peter 3:5-6 NKJV) “For in this manner, “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbandsbeing submissive to their own husbands,, {6} {6} as Sarah obeyed Abrahamas Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him , calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.”good and are not afraid with any terror.”


• The woman has a great influence on the The woman has a great influence on the atmosphere of the home. It is in the home atmosphere of the home. It is in the home where we are made strong or weak in our where we are made strong or weak in our service to God.service to God.

• How many wives are interested in Bible How many wives are interested in Bible study? You will be a powerful influence on study? You will be a powerful influence on how your children view the Bible.how your children view the Bible.

• A husband could have no greater blessing A husband could have no greater blessing than a wife who loved God!than a wife who loved God!

A Couple's Unselfish Service to GodA Couple's Unselfish Service to God

• We learn how to be unselfishWe learn how to be unselfish. . (Rom 5:6-8; 1 Cor 13:4-5)(Rom 5:6-8; 1 Cor 13:4-5)


• (Romans 5:6-8 NKJV(Romans 5:6-8 NKJV)) “For when we “For when we were still without strength, in due time were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.Christ died for the ungodly. {7} {7} For For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.would even dare to die. {8} {8} But God But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”for us.”


• (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NKJV)(1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NKJV) “Love “Love suffers long suffers long and and is kind; love does not is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;puffed up; {5} {5} does not behave rudely, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;”thinks no evil;”


• "Agape is not born of a lover's need, nor "Agape is not born of a lover's need, nor does it have its source in the love object. does it have its source in the love object. Agape doesn't exist in order to get what it Agape doesn't exist in order to get what it wants but empties itself to give what the wants but empties itself to give what the other needs. Its motives rise wholly from other needs. Its motives rise wholly from within its own nature. Agape lives in order within its own nature. Agape lives in order to die to self for the blessedness of caring to die to self for the blessedness of caring for another, spending for another, spending for another, spending for another, spending itself for the sake of the beloved." itself for the sake of the beloved."


• We learn how to be patient.We learn how to be patient. (Eph 4:32)(Eph 4:32)


• (Ephesians 4:32 NKJV)(Ephesians 4:32 NKJV) “And be kind to “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave another, just as God in Christ forgave you.” you.”


• We learn how to forgive.We learn how to forgive. (Col 3:12-13, 19)(Col 3:12-13, 19)


• (Colossians 3:12-13 NKJV)(Colossians 3:12-13 NKJV) “Therefore, “Therefore, as as the the elect of God, holy and beloved, put elect of God, holy and beloved, put on on tender mercies, kindness, humility, tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;meekness, longsuffering; {13} {13} bearing with bearing with one another, and forgiving one anotherone another, and forgiving one another, if , if anyone has a complaint against another; anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”must do.”


• (Colossians 3:19 NKJV)(Colossians 3:19 NKJV) “Husbands, “Husbands, love your wives and love your wives and do not be bitter do not be bitter toward themtoward them.” .”


• We learn true wisdom.We learn true wisdom. (Prov 1:7; Jas 3:17)(Prov 1:7; Jas 3:17)


• (Proverbs 1:7 NKJV)(Proverbs 1:7 NKJV) “The fear of the “The fear of the LORD LORD is is the beginning of knowledge, the beginning of knowledge, But But fools despise wisdom and instruction.”fools despise wisdom and instruction.”


• (James 3:17 NKJV)(James 3:17 NKJV) “But “But the wisdom that the wisdom that is from aboveis from above is first pure, then peaceable, is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.”hypocrisy.”


• What kind of home do you have? What kind of home do you have? (Lk 1:6)(Lk 1:6)


• (Luke 1:6 NKJV)(Luke 1:6 NKJV) “And they were both “And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.” Lord blameless.”


• If you listened to straighten out your mate If you listened to straighten out your mate then this material has done little good!then this material has done little good!

• You cannot change another person against You cannot change another person against their will but you can change you.their will but you can change you.

• How can you be a better mate?How can you be a better mate?• The time and effort spent in making your The time and effort spent in making your

home a godly one will reap benefits home a godly one will reap benefits beyond anything this world can give. What beyond anything this world can give. What will you do?will you do?

god’s plan for marriage. we need god’s help to have his riches blessings. our society or...

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