grade 5 – expository writing · web viewconsidering the manifest benefits of being part of the...

Dysart Unified School District

5th GRADE

Interactive Expository WritingLanguage Arts Benchmark 2Social Studies DBQ – Form B

Student Name

School

Date Criteria for final draft must be present to be graded

Teacher NameScore using the holistic rubric ________ (1-6)

1=FFB 2=FFB 3=APP4=Meets 5=Exceeds 6=Exceeds

Grade 5 – Expository Writing

Overview: Document Based Questions (DBQs) used as the writing benchmark for Language Arts and Social Studies provide primary and secondary source materials related to a specific theme in which students are asked to:

• Analyze individual documents using literacy strategies and questions/activities provided (DAY 1-2)• Complete prewriting graphic organizer(s) and/or prewriting outline(s) (DAY 2-4)• As part of the writing process, draft a 3+ paragraph essay response that answers the prompt• Revise, edit, and publish final response using the rubric

Suggested Timeline and Protocol for TeachersDay 1-2 Day 2-4 Day 4-6 (+)

● Preview writing packet with students (students should have a copy and be shown on overhead)○ Explain procedures.○ Background Information

section read and clarified.○ Analyze prompt for clarity.○ All students should be able to

explain what the prompt asks.○ Read and discuss Strategies for

Success.○ Review expectations with

rubric. (Focus on Exceeds column. FFB and APR are not options.)

○ Share prerequisites○ Cite references used○ Clear and legible○ Completed on time.

● Students begin analysis of documents○ Students must analyze, take

notes, and respond to all questions for each document in complete sentences.

Students must share and discuss their findings and add to their notes using the Listening and Speaking Rubric.

*All work must be done in class. GRADES 3-5

● Complete pre-writing activities Graphic Organizers, Webs, research if necessary.

● Determine vocabulary needed to address the prompt

● It is highly suggested that students explain their thinking in the prewriting activities as a support in the use of documents.

● Students create thesis statements which clearly provide their opinion. Students will use the frame as a support in writing their thesis statements.

● Teacher should check that each student has a thesis statement.

● Students write a rough draft that addresses the prompt.

● Rough draft should include at least three paragraphs, introduction, explanation with evidence and a conclusion.

● Students should use not use conversational speaking or dialogue in their writing, such as “I am going to tell you about…” or “I hope you like this essay…”

● Students will peer-revise on the rough draft as guided by the material in this packet.

● Students will peer-edit.● Student use scoring rubric to

make final revisions on their own draft.

● Students complete their final draft.

● Rough draft will be handed in with final draft when complete.

● Final draft will be stapled with ONLY the cover sheet and rubric as instructed.

● Teacher will submit a sample to the district as requested.

FORM B scores should be entered into iASSESS, within two weeks of completion of the process.

Dysart Unified School District – September 2013


Speaking and Listening Rubric Grades 3-5Skills: Approaches - 1 Meets - 2 Exceeds - 3

Preparation: Fails to read the material or skimmed it

Fails to take notes or notes are irrelevant

Fails to complete or attempt assigned tasks

Actively pre-read the topic, including marking the text(if possible)

Notes are present Demonstrates understanding

of relevant vocabulary words Attempts/completes

assigned tasks, may have generated some questions

Actively pre-read and understood the topic, including marking the text (if possible)

Internalizes some information (notes may be used as a trigger for recall)

Demonstrates understanding of relevant vocabulary words

Connects prior knowledge to topic Completes assigned tasks with accuracy and

prepares questions.

Rules and Roles: Speaks out of order/interrupts

Strays from topic or task

Disrespectful or disruptive

Ineffective use of time

Takes turns instead of talking over others

Stays on task/topic Respects others’ roles Effective use of time Completes task/role as

assigned

Expresses own views while respectfully acknowledging others’ views

Stays on task/topic and encourages others to do the same

Upon task completion, helps others, and/or works ahead when appropriate

Questioning: Does not pose questions or poses questions that are off topic

Does not ask clarifying questions

Does not answer questions or provides answers that are vague or off topic

Questions attempt to make obvious connections

Questions are based on personal observations and ideas

Asks clarifying questions to check understanding

Makes relevant comments that contribute to the discussion

Questions make connections between credible evidence, others’ views, and personal observations

Asks specific questions which elaborate on the remarks of others.

Makes relevant comments that further understanding for the group

Poses questions beyond the basic facts, seeks extensions in learning

Personal Reflections: Disregards or ignores information expressed by others

Does not develop point of view or refuses to consider changing point of view

Disengages from conversation when new information is presented

Expresses own views with support

Considers changing position, but often doesn’t despite lack of evidence

Willing to ask for clarification when needed

Listens and accepts new information based on evidence provided

Reflects on own views in light of new information

Recognizes positions posed by others Uses substantial evidence in forming

opinion(s).

Main Ideas: Does not state main ideas and/or supporting details of information presented in multiple formats

1. States (3rd gr.),2. Paraphrases (4th gr.) OR3. Summarizes (5th gr.): main ideas and few

supporting details from information presented in multiple formats

1. States (3rd gr.),2. Paraphrases (4th gr.) OR3. Summarizes (5th gr.): main ideas are supported with details from

information presented in multiple formats

Active Listening: No eye contact Not paying attention Off-task Side talking/fidgeting interrupting

Eye contact Facing the speaker Not making side

conversations with others Hands and feet to themselves Able to state the ideas of

others

Constant eye contact Concentrated body language including head

nodding and leaning forward Restates the ideas of others with accuracy.

“The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.” Edmund Burke

Background information



The American colonists were allowed virtual self-government for a century until the British government changed many its political and economic policies after the French and Indian War as it needed to pay off debts from this war for protection of the colonies and the war with France in Europe. Many colonists saw the interference by the British as simple denial of the rights that all Englishmen possessed as a British subject. Many colonists believed if they had been living in England they never would have been treated in such a manner. Yet, other colonists in America and those in what would later become Canada, did not resist this English rule. Neither did Australia which, along with Canada, later became democratic nations without fighting a war for a revolution.

Prompt

Explain American colonists’ reasons for going to war for independence from Britain.

You may consider the causes of the American Revolution, but the prompt asks for an explanation of the reasons the colonists gave for going to war for their independence. Consider the criterion is necessary for such an action.

Strategies for Success: Underline/highlight directional and specific topic words in the prompt. It is important that you

fully understand what it is you are responding to. (Role, Audience, Format, Topic) Each document is important. With every document, realize that you need to analyze and identify

the importance of that document so you can respond appropriately to the prompt. You will use and cite evidence from these documents in your writing.

Use the right column of the document pages to pose questions, take notes, point out ideas, and organize information.

Use summary questions at the bottom to respond to the prompt with the information from the document or the writer’s style. Keep the prompt in mind. What is the important evidence?

When reading documents, use reading strategies to help you understand. These should include: slow down, write notes, highlight, reread, pose questions, visualize, look for patterns, use punctuation to your advantage, summarize.

Before drafting, know all requirements of the written response by reading the rubric. Use pencil or blue or black pen to write your final draft.

Document A: Declaration of Independence – Video

From NBC Learns: Listen to the video that explains what was in the rough

NotesIn this column, record details and vocabulary that explain the



draft of the Declaration of Independence and the compromise that was needed to be

Matt Lauer. "Thomas Jefferson's Rough Draft of the Declaration of Independence." NBC Today Show. NBC Universal Media, LLC. 07/03/1998. Accessed Wed Jun 6 2012 from NBC Learn: http://archives.nbclearn.com/portal/site/k-12/browse?cuecard=1658

Citation: ("Thomas Jefferson's Rough Draft of the Declaration of Independence").

Work Cited:“Thomas Jefferson's Rough Draft of the Declaration of Independence.” NBC Learn K-12. n.p., 3 July 1998. Web. 16 September 2013.

Respond and discuss:1. What did you learn from this video that provides explanation or

reasons given by the colonists?

2. How will you use the information in your explanation?

Document B: Declaration of Independence – written copy

main idea of each piece.

Notes


http://archives.nbclearn.com/portal/site/k-12/browse?cuecard=1658


The Declaration of Independence: A Transcription

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation

Notes



in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offencesFor abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

Notes



He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor. Notes



Citation: ("Declaration of Independence - Text Transcript").

Work Cited:“Declaration of Independence - Text Transcript. ” Declaration of Independence - Text Transcript. n.p., n.d. Web. 16 September 2013.

Respond and discuss:1. What specific parts of the Declaration of Independence can you use

to support your explanation of reasons given by the colonists?

Document C: Secondary Sources analysis of the Revolution

“The Road to Revolution”Digital History ID 3214

Unlike many modern revolutions, the American Revolution was not rooted in economic deprivation or in the struggle of an oppressed class against an entrenched elite. But this does not mean that the colonists did not suffer from serious grievances.

The Revolution was the product of 40 years of abuses by the British authorities that many colonists regarded as a threat to their liberty and property. But people do not act simply in response to objective reality but according to the meaning that they give to events. The Revolution resulted from the way the colonists interpreted events.

The American patriots were alarmed by what they saw as a conspiracy against their liberty. They feared that the corruption and the abuses of power by the British government would taint their own society. And, further, they were troubled by the knowledge that they had no say over a government three thousand miles away.

As late as 1774, most colonists did not favor declaring independence from the British Crown. Far from rejecting monarchy, most Americans saw the king as their protector from oppressive acts of Parliament. The delegates to

Notes



the First Continental Congress, which had assembled in Philadelphia in September 1774, hoped for reconciliation with Britain. They asked Massachusetts Bay colonists, who were the most radical in their opposition to British policies, to avoid involving “all America in the horrors of a civil war.”

Citation: ("Digital History")

Work Cited:“Digital History.” Digital History. Digital History, n.d. Web. 16 September 2013.

Respond and discuss:1. What information from this document can you used for your explanation?

2. Why did some colonists favor separation and why did some still seek a compromise?

Document D:

Excerpt from America and the British Empire, by Henry J. Sage, 2010 Summary of Life in the Colonies 1700 – 1750 by The American colonists became more “English” as the seventeenth

century moved into the eighteenth, but regional distinctions and sectional differences remained.

The seeds of the American Republic were planted early—the settlers brought some sense of independence with them.

Colonists got used to doing things their own way through their own

Notes



assemblies; local control over taxes was always important. Americans were probably the healthiest people in the world once

acclimatized. Clean water, plentiful food and healthier conditions generally prevailed, though not equally everywhere.

By around 1750 American were probably the most literate people in the world, at least in New England.

Americans tended to be tough, self-reliant people, individualists. England's new attitude toward the colonies did not yet produce a sense of nationalism for the colonies; the colonists were rebellious by nature, but not yet ready to challenge British authority in the main—the American Revolution was still decades off, and Americans saw themselves as loyal subjects of the crown.

Settlers from non-English backgrounds generally did not object to English governance; it was at worst no worse than what they were used to, and frequently much better.

By 1750 Great Britain had 31 colonies from North America to Asia governed by various sets of rules. Even the various North American colonies had different charters.

http://textbookequity.com/oct/Textbooks/Sage_USHistoryI.pdf

Citation: (Sage)

Work Cited:Sage, Henry. “U.S. History I: United States History 1607-1865.” Academic

American History, 1 (2007): n. pag. Print. 16 September 2013.

Respond and discuss:1. What information from this document can you use for your

explanation?

2. How was life and liberty in the colonies better or worse than in England itself?

Notes


http://textbookequity.com/oct/Textbooks/Sage_USHistoryI.pdf


3. Is it possible that one reason Colonists had for wanting independence was to preserve their way or quality of life in the colonies? Explain your answer.

Document E: Boston Tea Party

“How the Boston Tea Party Worked”By Jacob Silverman

http://www.kidskonnect.com/subject-index/16-history/251-american-revolution.html

Before we look at the Boston Tea Party itself and the events immediately preceding it, it's important to examine how such great tensions between the American colonists and the British government developed. At its core, the Boston Tea Party was a conflict over taxation. You may have heard the phrase "taxation without representation," which developed in this era. Unlike their British brethren, the people living in the 13 colonies did not have direct representatives in the British parliament. Because of that, the colonists had no way to vote for how they would be taxed or who would represent them. And because of this lack of representation, the British government was free to tax the colonists in any way -- and for any amount -- that it saw fit. With no way to fight taxation and no way to claim their rights, many colonists feared that their property could be taken away through debilitating taxes.

In 1773, the same year as the Boston Tea Party, the British government passed the Tea Act, which authorized the British East India Company to ship tea directly to colonies while the government levied a tax of three pence on each shipment. While the Tea Act actually lowered the price of tea for colonists, many colonists were still angry at being taxed at all. Colonists responded by pressuring local merchants to refuse the shipments, arguing that, despite the low prices on tea, the act was a backdoor method for the royal government to levy taxes [source: The Old South Meeting House]. Merchants resisted the pressure and continued to receive the tea.

Notes





Citation: (Silverman)

Work Cited:Silverman, Jacob. “How the Boston Tea Party Worked. ” HowStuffWorks "Taxation Without Representation". Howstuffworks, n.d. Web. 16 September 2013.

Respond and discuss:

1. What is the important information in this document?

2. How is the information significant to your thesis?

If you wish to do more research on your own, here is a website from KidsKonnect.com on the American Revolution: http://www.kidskonnect.com/subject-index/16-history/251-american-revolution.html

Notes





Document F: The Road to Revolution by T.H.Breen

“The Road to Revolution”by T.H. Breen

The British colonists faced almost insuperable obstacles in organizing resistance to the most powerful army and navy the world had ever seen. Scattered over a huge territory—over 1,800 miles from New Hampshire to Georgia—they had developed strong local loyalties. The large rice and tobacco plantations of the South relied on slave labor; the northern economy drew upon small family farms. No single sect dominated the religious landscape. It seemed highly unlikely that such a diverse population would even be able to communicate effectively, let alone support a common political agenda. Moreover, in 1763 the great majority of white colonists expressed general contentment with imperial rule. After all, their ties with Great Britain brought commercial prosperity and military security. Considering the manifest benefits of being part of the empire, one should ask not why the colonists mounted a rebellion against the king and Parliament, but rather why they fell out of love so quickly with a political system that had served so well for so long.

One obvious answer is that after 1763 the king and Parliament changed the assumptions that had defined colonial rule. The British emerged from the Seven Years’ War saddled with a huge national debt. English taxpayers had generously supported the struggle against France, but as peace returned, they were in no mood to increase their financial burden. It made good sense, therefore, to ask the Americans to take greater responsibility for their own defense. However, since the colonial governments had made sizeable contributions to the war effort, they did not see why they should produce new revenue. It was not that they rejected the idea that ordinary citizens had an obligation to fund government services. From the beginning of the controversy, the issue was representation, not taxation. Americans rejected out of hand arguments that the members of Parliament—men whom they had not elected—somehow represented the interests of colonists who lived 3,000 miles from London.

Citation: (Breen)

Work Cited:Breen, T.H.. “The Road to Revolution. ” The Road to Revolution | The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History. The Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History, n.d. Web. 16 September 2013.

Notes



Respond and discuss:

1. What specific ideas from this reading by T.H. Breen can you use in your explanation?

Prewriting

Reason #1 for why the Colonists went to war for their independence:



Reason #2

Reason #3

Prompt

Explain American colonists’ reasons for going to war for independence from Britain.

You may consider the causes of the American Revolution, but the prompt asks for an explanation of the reasons the colonists gave for going to war for their independence. Consider the criterion is necessary for such an action.

Planning Your Writing – Choose either graphic organizer A or B to plan and organize your essay. Be sure to include citations (Document A) here so you don’t forget them!



Graphic Organizer A

INTRODUCTION – Paragraph #11. Attention Getter:

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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2. Bridge/Background information:

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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3. Thesis Statement (Should correlate with each topic sentence):

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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BODY:1ST BODY PARAGRAPH

1. Topic Sentence (Should correlate with the thesis statement): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Main Point (Opinion or inference about topic sentence): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Evidence (Facts, quotes, paraphrases, or summaries from sources): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Explanation/Elaboration (Explain how the above evidence supports your main point): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Conclusion/ Transition Sentence (Wrap up the topic and hint at the next topic): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



2ND BODY PARAGRAPH


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


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5. Conclusion/ Transition Sentence (Wrap up the topic and hint at the next topic): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3RD BODY PARAGRAPH


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



5. Conclusion/ Transition Sentence (Wrap up the topic and lead into the conclusion): _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CONCLUSION – Paragraph #5 (The final paragraph, which is at least two-three sentences, may restate the thesis statement in NEW WORDS, summarize the major points in the essay, predict an outcome related to the thesis, make an emotional appeal or a combination of these. The conclusion may also refer back to the opening anecdote, present a final quote that leaves the reader ultimately satisfied or use any device an introduction might use.)

1. Restate the Thesis Statement and Main Points: _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Leave the reader with a final thought: _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Graphic Organizer B


Paragraph #1 – IntroductionAttention Getter:

Bridge/Background:


Rough Draft: Now that you have organized your thoughts and planned your essay, begin your first draft on YOUR OWN paper. DO NOT FORGET YOUR CITATIONS! Citations will look like: (Document A)


Paragraph #1 – IntroductionAttention Getter:

Bridge/Background:

Paragraph #2Topic Sentence

Main Point #1 -

Evidence

Elaboration/Explanation

Conclusion/Transition


Main Point #1 -

Evidence




Main Point #1 -

Evidence



Paragraph #5 – ConclusionRestate the Thesis Statement and main points:

Leave the reader with a final thought:


Peer Revision

Name of Writer: __________________________________________________

Name of Peer Editor: _____________________________________________

Introduction:Circle the way in which the author attempted to capture the reader’s interest at the beginning of the introduction.

Informational/Explanatory:

Anecdote Unusual fact Startling statement Catchy quote

Other: _________________________________________________

What is the author’s thesis (the last statement of the introduction that states the prompt)?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

With 5 being the BEST, how well does the introduction capture the reader’s interest? 1 2 3 4 5

What made it strong?

What could make it better?

Body:Color the citations green.

Underline the topic sentence in each body paragraph.



Put a box around the two main points.

Circle transition, linking words, or phrases in brown.

Underline the evidence: facts, definitions, and details from the articles about the topic in purple.

Underline elaboration/explanations in red.

What is the concluding sentence?

Conclusion:How does the author make a lasting impression on the reader?

With 5 being the BEST, how engaging and thoughtful was the conclusion? 1 2 3 4 5

What made it strong?

What could make it better?

Extra comments or suggestions:

Editing:Identifying spelling, punctuation and capitalization errors.

Use a green colored pencil to mark capitalization errors that need to be fixed.

Use a red colored pencil to mark punctuation errors that need to be fixed.

Use a purple colored pencil to circle misspelled words.

Use the Expository Revision Checklist, Editing Checklist, and the Holistic Rubric to improve your writing to the Score Point 5 and 6.

Expository Revision Checklist



Did I… Yes No

-Write a thesis statement?

-Include supporting details?

-Write an interesting beginning?

-Stay on topic?

-Organize my ideas thought the essay?

-Use supporting evidence from the documents?

-Explain what the evidence means to my thesis.

-Write a conclusion restating my thesis statement?

-Include citations from my sources correctly?

Expository Editing Checklist

Did I… Yes No

-Use complete sentences?

-Use a variety of sentence types?

-Use precise vocabulary?

-Use all other grammar, punctuation and capitalization rules to the best of my ability?-Spell check?

Holistic Rubric for Self Evaluation



Score Point 6● Exceptional clarity, focus, and

control of the topic.● Rich, relevant, and credible

details.● A strong sequence of events.

● Carefully chosen words and clear sentences/ideas.

● A strong voice from the writer that the reader can sense.

● Strong conventions with very few errors.

Grade: Exceeds

Score Point 5● Clarity, focus, and control of the

topic.● Balanced details.

● A relevant beginning and ending.

● A variety of words and sentences that sound natural.

● A good voice from the writer that the reader can sense.

● Good use of conventions with few errors.

Grade: Exceeds

Score Point 4● Adequate ideas with an order

that might be ordinary.● Mostly relevant details that are

clear.● Sequence of events may become

weak.● Effective word choice that is

common.● A sense of voice is present.

● Good conventions were errors don’t affect the reading of the piece.

Grade: Meets

Score Point 3● Simple ideas but not very

interesting.● Details become a little unclear.

● A weak sequence of events and possible out of order.

● Repetition of words and misused.

● A weak voice and little sense of audience.

● Many errors in conventions affect the reading of the piece.

Grade: Approaches

Score Point 2● Very simple and unclear ideas.

● Details are weak or are missing.

● Missing parts of the sequence of events.

● Repetitive words used and it becomes awkward sounding.

● No voice present and may sound choppy and like rambling.

● Many errors in conventions and it becomes hard to read.

Grade: FFB

Score Point 1● No purpose or clear ideas.

● Very little or no details.

● No clear sequence of events.

● Limited vocabulary used and very basic words.

● No voice present or sense of audience.

● Severe and frequent errors in conventions.

Grade: Falls Far Below

Score: FFB 1-2 APR 3 Meets 4 EX 5-6

Final DraftClearly and legibly write your final draft on the attached final draft paper in pencil or in blue or black ink; check to ensure you have cited the source items.

Criteria for the Final Draft: clear and legible writing cite references – use and cite attached documents to support writing use pencil or blue/black ink complete on time

To submit your final draft: 1. Take the cover page off the front of this packet and your final draft from the back of the packet. 2. Staple the cover page to your final draft.3. Turn in the final to your teacher.

Final Draft



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____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Holistic Rubric – Grades 3-12

SCORE POINT 6

Response is sophisticated and skillful in written communication, demonstrated by

SCORE POINT 5

Response is excellent and skillful in written communication, demonstrated by

SCORE POINT 4

Response is appropriate and acceptable in written communication, demonstrated by


Grade 5 – Expository Writing exceptional clarity, focus, and control in

development and organization that often shows insight.

in-depth and/or creative exploration of the topic using rich, relevant, and credible details.

a strong, perhaps creative, beginning, and a satisfying conclusion.

specifically and carefully chosen words that are skillfully crafted into phrases and sentences that enhance meaning.

intentional and committed interaction between the writer and the reader.

effective and/or creative use of a wide range of conventions with few errors.

o insightful with no historical errors.o makes original and specific connections

using resources.o uses background knowledge for all support

content.o thesis is prompt-driven and fits seamlessly

in opening paragraph.o relies on a variety of the documents and

includes outside resources, all of which are cited correctly

clarity, focus, and control in topic development and organization

a balanced and thorough explanation of the topic using relevant details.

an inviting beginning and a satisfying sense of closure.

a broad range of carefully chosen words crafted into phrases and varied sentences that sound natural.

awareness of the reader and commitment to the audience and topic.

effective use of a wide range of conventions with few errors.

o accurate, may contain only minor historical errors.

o makes obvious connections using relevant resources.

o uses background knowledge consistently.

o includes clear thesis statement in the opening paragraph.

o appropriately relies on a variety of the documents and may use outside sources, all of which are cited correctly

ideas adequately developed with a clear and coherent presentation of ideas with order and structure that can be formulaic.

relevant details that are sometimes general or limited; organization that is clear, but sometimes predictable.

a recognizable beginning and ending, although one or both may be somewhat weak.

effective word choice that is functional and, at times, shows interaction between writer and audience.

somewhat varied sentence structure with good control of simple constructions a natural sound.

control of standard conventions although a wide range is not used; errors that do not impede readability.

o accurate, may contain only minor historical errors.

o makes connections using some resources.

o uses background knowledgeo thesis statement is clear.o cites multiple documents correctly

SCORE POINT 3Response is inadequate in written communication, demonstrated by broad or simplistic ideas that are

understood but often ineffective. attempts at organizing that are

inconsistent or ineffective; beginnings and endings that are underdeveloped; repetitive transitional devices.

developmental details that are uneven, somewhat predictable, or leave information gaps; details not always placed effectively in the writing.

reliance on clichés and overused words that do not connect with the reader; limited audience awareness.

monotonous and sometime misused words; sentences may sound mechanical, although simple constructive are usually correct.

limited control of standard conventions with significant errors.

o Historically accurate but overly generalo loosely makes connections to some

resources.o uses background knowledge/facts with

some connections.o includes a thesis, though it is not very

clear.o cites multiple documents correctly

SCORE POINT 2Response is poor in written communication, demonstrated by overly simplistic and sometimes

unclear ideas that have insufficiently developed details.

sequencing of ideas that is often just a list; missing or ineffective details that require reader and inference to comprehend and follow.

missing beginning and/or ending. repetitive, monotonous, and often

misused words awkwardly strung into sentences that are difficult to read because they are either choppy or rambling; many sentences that begin with repetitive noun + verb pattern.

lack of audience awareness. little control of basic conventions

resulting in errors impeding readability.

o Contains multiple historical errorso loosely uses background

knowledge/facts with no connections.o includes a general topic statement, but

not a thesiso uses more than one document

correctly but relies on one document OR cites only one document

SCORE POINT 1Response is inferior in written communication, demonstrated by lack of purpose or ideas and

sequencing. organization that obscures the main

point. an attempt that is too short to offer

coherent development of an idea, if it is stated.

extremely limited vocabulary that shows no commitment to communicating a message.

sentences with confusing word order that may not permit oral reading.

severe and frequent errors in conventions.

o has significant historical misinterpretation.

o no apparent thesis or topic statement.

CITATIONS are a pre-requisite for scoring.


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