grandpas problem (final copy)
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College Comp II
Period 1
4/27/10
Grandpas Problem
IV. The Ghost
I guess you could say that the day he sold Cindy Lou had finally marked he was
gone. I mean the man that lay in front of me couldnt be Grandpa! Grandpa wouldve
been the one playing me a tune until I drifted off to sleep. Grandpa would live off of early
mornings and late nights in the field! Grandpa wouldnt need help getting in the tractor,
and he could sure as hell run that International Harvester with his eyes closed! The man
that lay in front of me was hardly capable of walking!What the hell went wrong? Why
couldnt things just be the way they use to be?
As much as I wanted to scream out all of these questions in my head, I just held it
all in. Finally a song had come to mind that brought me peace. It was a song that
reminded me of everything Grandpa use to be from beginning until this present day. I
began to play Grandpa Told Me So by Kenny Chesney.
I. Early Years
Grandpa Ole was a blue collared, shit-shoveler. He would wake up, drink a pot of
coffee, and still make another pot for his thermos, all before the sun could even peek over
the trees. I use to sleep on the couch in the living room when I would stay there and I can
always recall hearing Grandma rustling around in the kitchen at 4 a.m. She would get up
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just before Grandpa, so she could have a lunch packed for him so he could just grab it
and walk out the door.
Olaf was a very handsome man. He would always wear a long sleeved, denim
shirt with a white-t underneath and his faded blue jeans were held up by John Deere
suspenders. His face was beginning to show age around his eyes, but this was very well
disguised by a tan that would even put Hailey Johnson to shame! His eyes were a clear
sky blue, his smile was bright, and his thick, white hair seemed to have a natural flip that
would flow when it was touched by the wind. His hands were strong and steady, and his
stride was full of confidence.
Grandpa was a man of confidence. I could always tell just by the way he operated
the tractor. When he would throw me over his shoulders and pull himself up the ladder.
He would jump behind the wheel and set me down on the armrest (which is a very
uncomfortable spot) and he would effortlessly crank the throttle, stomp in the clutch, and
put it into gear without any grinding. At such a young age it just amazed me at how good
he was at running this machine! He could play with the radio, carry on conversations with
me, and still make perfect rows. The best was when Grandpa let me sit on his lap and
steer because that meant I didnt have to sit on that armrest. The old 1086 International
Harvester would wince to just about every bump or gopher mound in the field and
truthfully it was beginning to make my tailbone very raw. But the pain would all go away
once I was focused on the row of crop in front of me. Grandpa would coach me with
every turn. Take er wide ma boy! We dont wanna roll er!
Have you ever rolled a tractor before Grandpa? I had to ask.
Yes Squash! Many times when I wus yur age. But remember, der are two kins of
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people in dis here world. The quick and the dead!
V. A Songs of Memories
If you don't get in the water you're never gonna learn to swim
He said a snake is just as scared of you as you are of him
He could tell by the moon when the fish would bite
Seems there was nothing that he didn't know
And as a kid I believed 'cause Grandpa told me so
Although Grandpa never did spend much time in the water or messing around
with snakes, he did seem to know and teach me many things as I grew up. He taught me
that the sun rose in the east and set in the west. He was never much of a hunter, but he
knew when the deer would be out just by looking at the moon. He would always stop
whatever he was doing to give me a life lesson. I always remember him saying,
Remember Squash, anytin dats free jus aint wort havin! The only tings dat mean
anytin at all are the tings ya work fer! Grandpa always seemed to have the answers, and
I learned so much from him.
II. The Bootlegging Bandits
It was a dark night that was perfect to for some mischief. The darkness worked as
a giant blanket, covering us from the enemy. The stillness was disrupted by the high-
pitched whine of our Sportsman 500 as it carried three shadowy figures towards the lights
of the farmhouse. We turned off the headlights once we were halfway through the field
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and let off the throttle so we would not wake the cattle in the pasture nearby. We need our
attack to be as blind as possible!
Once we reached the end of the trail, we killed the engine and walked the rest of
the way. Every step we took on the gravel of that huge driveway seemed to pop like POP-
ITS were under our shoes. What we were about to do was impossible but we were too
desperate to sit back and just do nothing. We need to steal all of the loot!
Come on Dani, you need to keep up or else you shouldve just stayed at the
wheeler!
Yea, well maybe you should walk a little faster too! Cause if I catch up to you, I
swear Im gunna kick you in the balls Lane!
I just smiled as I listened to my two cousins bicker at one another. We were still
about 200 yards from the house and there was no way Grandma and Grandpa could hear
us.
It was about three hours from sunrise and we knew no one would be awake to see
what we were about to do.If we want this mission to be successful, we need to stick to
our strategy.
Once we reached the grain bins that sat between the shop and the house, I had to
make an announcement. Okay Comrades, welcome to Operation: Dusty Bottles! We
need to attack quickly, quietly, and efficiently! Lane, you go to the shop and take the
boxes of loot and Dani and I will take whats in the pickup. Any questions?Please dont
ask any questions! Its way too close to go time.
Yea, so wait, why cant I go with you to take the stuff from the pickup?
AHHH! Because Dani isnt strong enough to lift the boxes Lane, but you are!
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Okay then Josh, Lane said as he stuck out his lip and gazed at the ground.
Come on Josh, just let him come with you. Everything will still go smoothly. Fine
Lane, we will all go together. But we need to be quiet and we need to work fast! Soldiers,
are you ready to begin this dangerous mission?
My cousins straightened their posture, saluted, and whispered intensely, SIR
YES, SIR!
IT WAS ON!!!
I. Early Years
I remember I use to listen to pure rock n roll at this time. I was about 3 years old
and was still rocking the mullet. But Grandpa wasnt much on Def Lep, so I always had
to settle for his fiddled out country music. Now I know Charlie Daniels aint no Eddie
Van Halen, but after those long hours I had spent locked in that International Harvester,
he wasnt sounding too bad to me!
My Grandpa Ole always loved music with a passion. I would fall asleep to him
playing his guitar. It was an old Epiphone, with dark, cherry colored trim on the outer
edge. The main body was a golden brown with darker wood grains that stretched
vertically across the guitar. This guitar appeared to be as standard as they come, but to
Grandpa, this guitar meant everything! He called her Cindy Lou.
Whenever I could see Cindy Lous glossy figure come into site, I would always
beg Grandpa to play Rednecks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer which was made
famous by Johnny Russell.
If Grandpa was out in the field and I wanted to hear that song, I would take
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see Grandma and Grandpa. Over the rest of my younger years nothing seemed to change
with Grandpa until about 7th grade. I stayed there for about two weeks after I had been at
bible camp. It was always just a good place for me to get a fresh start with my life. No
friends, no MSN, no phone service, no troubles at all! Maybe Grandpa will teach me how
to drive the tractor on my own!
I pulled into the driveway just as the sun began to dip below the tree line to the
west. I was surprised to see Grandpas truck parked up along side of the farmhouse. The
house was on top of a small hill and Grandpas truck had dug into the grass from his
knobby tires pulling its weight up the hill. This was very strange because NOBODY
drove on Grandmas grass! You would only do such a thing if you wanted a bunch of pots
and pans thrown at you! Her grass was literally Tiger Woods, PGA approved! Plus
Grandpa would never be home before sunset, he would always stay out until darkness
had completely set in. Maybe Grandma needed the pickup to haul furniture and parked
as close to the house as possible. This seemed like a reasonable conclusion until I noticed
that somebody was actually in the pickup. Too Old to Cut the Mustard was blasting
through the speakers and rattled the door panels of that old GMC.
Grandpa? Is that you?
Yes Jarrrrsshhhhh, Im yur graanppaa!
The figure that was sitting in the pickup looked nothing like the handsome Olaf
Watne I had seen before! His hair had lost its silver shine and was just a groggy grey
mass that lay lamely on his head. His white t-shirt was dirtied and his John Deere
suspenders were falling off of his shoulders. But the large mug filled with ice and a pale
yellow liquid that sat in his lap had answered all of my questions about what was so
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strange about this scene. Grandpa had started drinking again and according to
www.alcoholics-info.com, grandpa was in the second stage of alcoholism. I would soon
realize he was Drinking because of dependence rather than for stress relief. He would
also begin to experience Sporadic loss of control and increasing physical problems.
V. A Song of Memories
He talked Daddy into letting me have my first car
I thought I was really something 'til Becky Thompson broke my heart
That first taste of love nearly did me in
Getting over her slow
And I knew someday I would 'cause Grandpa told me so
Once I had reached the 9th grade and had spent many summers helping Grandpa in
the fields, he convinced my dad that it was time for me to get my first car.
I was a stylin dude back in those days and I happened to be quite the ladies man. I
knew that I needed a car that would suit my cool reputation and a Camaro was the perfect
fit! I was shocked to see a pearly white Camaro parked in the shop that was just for me! It
had four quarter sized rust spots on the driver side quarter panel, but I didnt care. All I
could think about was This is soooo friggin cool! Im gunna make me a CD loaded with
AC/DC and blow the speakers in this beast!
I felt like a king the day Grandpa gave me my car, until something happened that
pissed on my parade and brought me back down to earth. Caitlin Sorvig dumped me that
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evening so that she could move on to better things. Wow! I guess Im not as cool as I
thought I was
Grandpa noticed I was bumbed because I hadnt eaten anything for two days.
Wus wrong wit ya Squash? he asked.
My girlfriend broke up with me Grandpa! My life is over! I will never love
again!
Grandpa sat there for awhile processing what I had just said, until a slight grin
began to slide across his face. Yer gotta lot to learn ma boy! Women are jus like dem
freight trains, deres always another one comin down the tracks! Dere aint a woman in
dis here world wort cryin over, cus all dey do is chew yer ass and spend all yer money!
Ohh boy! This was my baby! This is my 85 Camaro thatGrandpa bought me when I had turned 14! She is still one ofmy pride and joys because it was my dream car, my first car,
and also because Grandpa bought it for me. It was our projectand I hope to have her in top shape one day before Grandpa
passes!
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II. The Bootlegging Bandits
I led the way, running to each piece of machinery in the yard and using it as
shelter from the enemy. As soon as I saw the coast was clear, I would give some kind of
Navy Seal sign that I had seen on a video game. But this was no video game, this was a
real life mission! The closer we came to the house, the less cover we had. It was about
time for us to make a decision.Do we want to army crawl, or do we book it to the
targeted position?
Alright men, we but I was quickly cut of by Dani.
Ehemm! Arent you forgetting something? she said, with a hand on her hip and
her finger waving in the air.
Alright men and woman! We need to crawl the rest of the way so we are not
spotted by Charlie.
Josh?
Oh for the love of Pete! What now Lane?
Who is Charlie? I dont know anyone by the name of Charlie, he asked
Its another name for the enemy, now please stop using my real name when we
are so close to enemy lines Commander! I dont want Charlie to discover our identity! I
hissed.
We crawled all the way up the hill until all three of us were basically under the
frame of the pickup. Okay now, on the count of three we Im going to take the loot in
the box of the pickup, and you guys take the other stuff inside the cab. One, two, three!
With that we sprung into action!
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III. A Strange Change
Only about five years ago, Grandpa had experienced a heart attack due to his
failure to take care of his diabetes. His bad habits such as drinking, smoking, chewing,
and feasting on steak and potatoes every night also didnt help with his medical
dysfunction either. The doctor had told him that he needed to change his lifestyle or else
he wouldnt live anymore than three years!Ha! Well that doctor was a fool to think that
Grandpa would change against his own will. He was talking to the most stubborn son of
a bitch in the world!
Maybe he just drank yesterday, I mean he has stayed away from straight whiskey
for quite some time. Yea, it had to have been a one-time thing! My wishful thinking had
been far from the truth.
Grandpa mustve been on quite a run because I even managed to wake up before
he had gotten out of bed. Although he may have been hung over, he still planned to hit
the fields for the day because I could hear the low growl from the idling International
Harvester that was sitting in the yard.
Once Grandpa had finally groomed himself and was ready to roll, he gimped his
way down the sidewalk and I walked closely behind him to make sure he didnt trip. Man
Grandpa has really lost coordination!
Once we reached the tractor, Grandpa turned to me with a grin and said, Would
ya mine helpin an ol man up dis here ladder? My ol frame is experiencing a bit of
stiffness my boy!
Im sure he wasnt surprised to see me pause and raise my eyebrows in disbelief.
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The truth was, that I needed to process everything that was going on!How could he do
such a thing to himself? He has lost so much to that bottle in such a small amount of
time. Well I guess it could be worse, he could be crawling into the house at nights instead
of stumbling! Sure Grandpa, you just pull on the rail and I will push you from
underneath.
Although Grandpa didnt need too much help, it was still a great struggle for him
to get up the ladder. His legs were like jelly underneath him and his arms shook
vigorously as he pulled himself up. After a short struggle, he was finally in the cab of the
tractor.
Thanks Squash! Oh crap! I furgot my Cowboy Candy on my bed! Would ya
mine goin up to da house an grabbin er for me? he asked.
Sure thing Grandpa! I raced back up to the house and into Grandpas room.
There on his half made bed, was the blue Skoal can. As I reached out to pick it up, my
hand froze as soon as my fingers grazed the top of the tin. Out of the corner of my eye, I
spotted the oddest sight out of anything I had seen yet! It was Cindy Lou! She was sitting
in her usual corner, only now something was very different about her.
II. The Bootlegging Bandits
I barrel rolled one time so I was on the driver side of the truck and then jumped up
to grab the loot. It wasnt that hard to find, because it was the only thing in the box
besides a flathead shovel, and one hundred Busch Light cans. The loot was located in a
big blue cooler.
I finally managed to pulled it out of the box of the pickup, and pop off the lid. I
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was surprised to see that the whole bottom was neatly stacked with beer cans and an
unopened Windsor bottle laid across the top. I need to make this look like a legit robbery!
But how?
It only took me a second to come up with a brilliant idea. I went back to the box
and used the cooler as a stool. I began to collect enough empty cans to match the amount
in the cooler and even found an empty Windsor bottle buried beneath all of the garbage. I
quickly pulled out everything that was in the cooler and refilled it with the empty ones.
Ha! Now that old fool wouldnt think of us taking it all! He will have no idea where it is!
I grabbed the loot and took it down to the bottom of the hill and waited for Lane
and Dani to finish their assignment. After about five minutes Lane hopped out of the
pickup with a box of whiskey and Dani was using her shirt as a basket for all of the cans.
We threw all of the odds and ends they had collected in a pile in front of the shop. Next
we had to check the shop for Grandpas secret stash. This is going to be an easy task
because its a long ways from the house and its in the darkest corner of the yard. Lane,
you should starting hiding the loot all over in the junkyard so that the enemy cannot find
it. Dani and I shouldnt need any help with what is in the shop.
Lane made sure he responded with a, Yes Sir! and he scurried off to complete
his assignment.
Dani and I proceeded to the doorstep of the shop and we were hit with shock once
we had opened the door and flipped on the lights. OH MY LORD! This would be a total
jackpot for any college student! There were literally 20 huge boxes stacked up on the far
side of the shop. Each box read: Windsor Canadian Whiskey! Every box had eight half-
gallon jugs of whiskey. Gosh, thats enough whiskey to feed ten of the worlds largest
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drunk for a whole year! Where the hell are we going to hide all of this? Lane was already
back from hiding the other stuff. He walked through the door and stopped beside us
looking very confused. Did you guys find any more of the loot? But neither Dani, nor I
could answer that question. We just sat and stared at the boxes dumbfounded. What are
you guys HOLY SHIT THATS A LOT OF WHISKEY!
III. A Strange Change
No! It couldnt be! There must have been at least three years of dust on that guitar.
It looked as though everything in the house was cleaned except for her!But she was
Grandpas baby! I mean Grandma use to joke about how he loved that guitar more than
he loved her.
All I could do was just shake my head to regain consciousness from all that I had
seen in the last 24 hours. This place seemed to be so foreign to me. Why is everything so
weird? Why did it take Grandpa so long to get going this morning? I think Ive seen
enough! I just need to get out of here! I grabbed the snus and stormed out the door.
Did ya fine er Squash? Grandpa asked.
Yes Sir. I murmured as I handed him his Cowboy Candy and climbed into the
cab of the tractor.
Atta boy! Well lets git tease wheels rollin! Grandpa cheered. His left leg
quivered as he struggled to step the clutch in and he finally managed to whine the
machine into gear. The tractor vomited itself forward, and away we went!
II. The Bootlegging Bandits
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We began to carry the loot out box, by box, by box. Dani had to take them out by
the bottle because the boxes were too heavy. We hid them under hoods of the cars, in the
boxes of old, worn out pickups, and in the sleeper of a few semis that had been totaled
out. There is no way Grandpa will find any of this. I dont even know if ill remember all
of the hiding places we used! Finally the deed was done and it was time to move out.
Alright soldiers! Lets evacuate the premises as quickly and quietly as possible! I
commanded.
We tiptoed our way back to the wheeler being careful not to make a sound. We
were halfway to the wheeler when the yard light kicked on! CRAP! MOVE SOLDIERS
MOVE! I squealed. I started to book it to the getaway vehicle until I had turned around
to see that only Lane was behind me. Where the heck is Dani?
I finally realized that Danielle had tripped on the loose gravel and was
incapacitated with a wounded knee!I need to save her! No man gets left behind! I
gasped between breaths.
Its okay Josh, she is a women so we can just leave her! Lane stammered.
I didnt even respond to that dumb remark, I just murmured, Get the wheeler
ready to roll! I only need a second!
I sprinted back to Dani and noticed that she had managed to crawl into the
shadows behind the machinery that was in the yard. With one smooth motion I picked her
up and swooped her over my shoulder. I could tell she was crying because I could feel her
tears dampening the back of my shirt.
I focused on staying balanced as I trotted my way back to the wheeler.Dont fall,
dont fall. Come on, youre almost there!
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Lane already had that 500 Sportsman warmed up and in gear. I dropped Dani
down on the seat right behind Lane and I jumped onto the rack on the back part of the
four-wheeler.
As soon as he felt my weight pressure the rear shocks, he punched in the throttle,
causing the machine to roar with power. I closed my eyes and held on as tight as I could.
Please dont let me fall off! Please dont let me fall off!
I didnt open my eyes until I heard the sound of Dani sobbing over the noise of
the engine and the whirling wind. I snapped out of Army mode and gained sympathy for
what had happened to her. Im sorry this happened to you Danielle, it wasnt worth all of
this trouble.
She instantly stopped sobbing and looked at me like I was some kind of alien! She
then lowered her eyebrows and with a stern look my eight-year-old cousin said, THATS
BULLSHIT! Anything is worth saving Grandpa!
OPERATION DUSTY BOTTLES: Complete?
Just a few days later, Lane and I were checking gopher traps in the field across
from the farm house. My Dad pulled up and asked, Did you boys have anything to do
with Grandpas stuff going missing?
Lane and I pretended as if we had no idea what he was talking about. No I have
no idea what happened to his stuff.
Dad began to smirk as if he knew something that we didnt and he said, Alright
boys, but watch out, because Grandpa says there are some sly bootleggers around! They
could even steal the shirt right off your backs! He began to giggle to himself, while
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shaking his head and drove away.
They know! But how? There is no way they couldve seen us! It was too dark, too
late, too sly! Lane! Come on! We need to check our hiding spots!
I fired up the Sportsman and we stormed down the road, kicking up a thick trail of
dust behind us as we drove. We pulled into the junkyard and left the wheeler forgot to kill
the engine of the wheeler because we were so excited. We checked every single hiding
place we could remember.Nothing! Nothing at all! He found all of it. But how?
I just sat there for a few minutes and pondered all of the possibilities. Suddenly, I
heard footsteps crunch on the gravel behind me. I turned around to see Dad standing there
just smiling.
He found er all din he? Remember boys, ya cant keep an ol drunk away from
his booze!
OPERATION DUSTY BOTTLES: FAILED!!!
IV. The Ghost
Grandpa Ole is long gone now. According towww.alcoholics-info.com, Grandpa
was at stage 4. His drinking started early and continued throughout the day. He has lost
tolerance of alcohol and experiences the shakes when he is sober in the mornings. He
also has to have a bottle sitting shotgun in the seat right next to him. We tried all we
could to make him stop but my dad was right all along. You cant keep an ol drunk from
his booze! Now one can see headlights come down the driveway and pull up along side
of the house where two large, orange cones mark where the driver should stop. After the
vehicle has idled for about an hour, one can hear the engine sputter to its death and see
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the driver side door swing open. A pale figure crawls out of the pickup and onto the cool,
wet ground.
He wears his Doobie Brother shades to cover his bloodshot eyes. One John Deere
suspender is over his right shoulder and the other is twisted around his bicep. His muscles
quiver as he brings himself to his hands and knees. He steps forward by using his hands
and then stops once he is almost flat on the ground and then he digs in with his knees
until they are caught up with his hands. He moves forward inch by inch and to an
unknowing spectator, he would look like a human sized caterpillar! But this is not a huge
caterpillar! This strange figure is, what I would consider, the ghost of Ole Watne!
If Im ever down for a visit at the farmhouse, Grandpa will call me into his room
after he had successfully crawled into his bed and stripped down to his briefs. Once I
walked into the room he would slur slowly, Play me a tune on dat ol six string dat sits
oer dere by da closet! He sold Cindy Lou because he could no longer play anymore. His
hands shook so much that he couldnt even hold his silverware when he ate! However,
Grandpa did manage to buy a new Hohner guitar that had the design of Mt. Rushmore on
it. It definitely had nothing on Cindy Lou because it didnt drive that same powerful,
brassy ring that Cindy Lou had. But Grandpa just bought it so others could play it for
him.
V. A Song of Memories
He said life is made for you to live
The best love is the love that you give
There'll be times when you wanna hold on but you gotta let go
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And I live by those words 'cause Grandpa told me so
Grandpa taught me that one can spend most of their time looking at their past or
only focusing on the future and they will often miss out on what is going on this very
moment. Grandpa missed out on a lot because of his years wasted with the bottle. He
missed out on supporting his grandchildren over the years as they have grown. But
Grandpa has changed once again! He finally put down that brown jug of poison and
crawled into the house for the last time! I asked him why he quit and he simply said,
You can kick any ol habbit if yer stubborn enuff! Ive missed too much deese pass few
years an I aint gunna miss anudder day! Im gunna be dere ter see ya graduate and thats
that! And I live by those words 'cause Grandpa told me so
This picture captures Grandpas personality the best.
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Before drinking, he was so alive and such a jokester! I am gladto know he has finally put down the bottle and I am slowlystarting to see a glimpse of the old Grandpa Ole!
Workcited
Chesney, Kenny.All I Need to Know. BMG Music, 2004. CD.
"Classic Alcoholic Behavior."Alcoholics Info | Alcoholics Help | Alcoholics | Alcoholic
Behavior. Web. 13 May 2010.