The T.E. Cooke-Overton Way

Calendar of Events

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"Allow us to help you celebrate and commemorate the life and legacy of

your beloved."

t T.E. Cooke— Overton Funeral Home, Inc. we are committed to providing exceptional and

personal service to you and your family during your most difficult time of need. We know firsthand that dealing with the death of a loved one can be mentally, emotionally and physically draining and sometimes challenging. Once making the decision to engage our services for the care and final preparation of your loved one, we act as your personal representative and spokesperson from that moment forward.

As your funeral service concierge, our goal is to alleviate the burden and the hassle of you having to contact persons/ companies, notify the public of the death of your loved one, schedule appointments, order/ hire services, make guest accommodations, food preparation for the reception and anything else pertinent to the funeral services of your beloved. Instead, you are able to grieve without worries, greet guest paying their respects and

A prepare yourself for the upcoming services.Our personal At Need concierge services does not end at the conclusion of the funeral services, but our services carries on to our After Care Service Program. Our After Care Service Program was designed to assist families after the services of their loved one are concluded.

As your personal After Care representative, we will assist you with legal matters, contact persons or companies on your behalf, send out personal thank you cards, fill out necessary paperwork, grief counseling for adults and children and anything else considered necessary to aid in the transition of healing after the death of your deceased.

For more information pertaining to the services offered by T.E. Cooke- Overton Funeral Home, Inc., please feel free to call us or stop by our office.

“T .E . Cooke - Overton Funeral Home, Inc. & C a r v e r M e m o r i a l Cemetery is more than a p a r t n e r s h i p , i t i s a commitment to the memory of those who in eternal sleep and for the peace of mind and comfort of relatives and friends.”

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Month of February: Black  History  Month

Month of March: Women’s History Month

Sunday, March 12, 2017: Daylight Savings Time Begins

Monday, May 29, 2017: Memorial Day Service at

Carver Memorial Cemetery

Friday, October 6, 2017: Suffolk Breast Cancer Third

Annual Survivors Gala

TDA–Movie Screening of

Hidden Figures 

A profound sense of loss is felt at the death of a loved one, whether that death is sudden or expected. There is no set pattern to grief. Some people grieve for a short time while others may never fully recover from their loss. Some won't experience their grief until sometime later. There is no one right way to grieve. As each of us is unique so too is our grief.

It is during these times that the support of friends and family is so important. Having a visitation, funeral, or memorial service is an important part of the grieving process and brings people together who can give you a support network. If that is not enough, your local community, religious organizations, and many healthcare organizations offer grief counseling or grief support groups.

Although it may be difficult to reach out to these groups at first, many have found grief support groups to be a place where one can continue to grieve openly with others who share their pain.

Don't forget about your funeral director. Many funeral homes such as T.E. Cooke- Overton Funeral Home offer aftercare programs, which are programs to help you cope with the initial stages of the grieving process.

Your funeral director will also be able to refer you to local grief support organizations or counselors should you desire group or individual counseling. In addition to counseling programs, many funeral homes provide grief support packets with materials related to grief and the mourning process.

Grieving The Loss of A Loved One

405 Johnson AvenueSuffolk, Virginia 23434

Ph. (757) 539-4861Fax (757) 539-8400

Email: tecofh@aol.com

www.cookeovertonfuneralhome.com

Proud Sponsor of Suffolk Breast Cancer Society

Recent Court Ruling Creates Difficulty Obtaining Documents from Nursing Facilities

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requently, disputes with nursing homes related to resident care arise. When they do, the contracts,

policies, and documents of the n u r s i n g f a c i l i t y b e c o m e critically important. A recent Supreme Court of Virginia decision found an executor’s a t t e m p t t o o b t a i n t h o s e documents via court action to be inappropriate. This ruling affects the ability to bring an action on behalf of a loved one (or their estate), and it is important to understand for anyone who has loved ones in a nursing facility.

On July 14 in Cherrie v. Virginia H e a l t h S e r v i c e s , I n c . , t h e Supreme Court of Virginia precluded an Executor’s action under the Declaratory Judgment Act compelling the production of policies and documents by a h e a l t h c a r e f a c i l i t y . T h e Executor’s action used rights found in Virginia administrative regulations as premise for the action. The Supreme Court of Virginia avoided construing the a p p l i c a t i o n o f t h e t e r m “residents and their designated representatives” found in the regulation and instead limited the holding to the availability of the Declaratory Judgment Act in enforcing duties of regulated parties. The method used to seek the documents was found t o b e i m p r o p e r , b e c a u s e administrative remedies were more appropriate than a court proceeding. Furthermore, the administrative regulations were held not to create a right to bring an action.

This decision clearly eliminates an avenue for obtaining documents from nursing facilities, but does not resolve the issue of how to obtain such documents when necessary. If the individual is in the nursing home is still alive, the nursing home resident or the r e s i d e n t ’ s d e s i g n a t e d representative can request copies of the documents. In the case of a deceased resident, it is unclear whether the nursing home has to provide those documents to the personal representative of the administrator’s estate. Given the confusion generated by this case, it is critical to obtain copies of these documents before a problem occurs at the nursing home.

In the event an incident occurs at a nursing home, it is critical to consult an attorney. The nursing facility may refuse to provide requested documents unless a party has certain documented authority. An attorney can assist in obtaining necessary documents and taking necessary action.  If no designated representative has been appointed, an attorney can assist in working around that l i m i t a t i o n . F u r t h e r m o r e , a n attorney can help take necessary actions against the nursing home in a timely manner. If out-of-court disputes with a nursing home drag on, then a subsequent action against the nursing home may be barred due to statutory time limitations. Seeking the counsel of an attorney can help prevent this from happening. v

FBy Stephan A. Lipskis, Hook Law Center, P.C.

Pursuant to Virginia Code §20-111.1,a beneficiary designation naming a former spouse as beneficiary of a death benefit may be revoked by operation of law upon the entrance of a final decree of annulment or divorce. The law further provides that, if a former spouse receives a death benefit pursuant to federal law, then the former spouse may be liable for reimbursing the person that would have otherwise received the benefit absent such designation. Hillman v. Maretta, which was decided on June 5, 2013, challenged Virginia Code §20-111.1 as it relates to federal death benefits. In that case, Jacqueline Hillman (“Jacqueline”), the wife of Warren Hillman (“Warren”), sued Judy Maretta (“Judy”), the former wife of Warren, to recover proceeds received by Judy from Warren’s Federal Employee’s Group Life Insurance policy. Jacqueline claimed that while the Federal Employee’s Group Life Insurance Policy Act (“FEGLIA”), 5 U.S.C. §8701 et seq., preempted1 state law with regard to the revocation of the designation, FEGLIA did not preempt with regard to the requirement for reimbursement. The United States Supreme Court held that FEGLIA preempts Virginia Code §20-111.1, which conflicts with the objective and purpose of FEGLIA, and therefore, the Commonwealth of Virginia cannot hold a former spouse who receives a FEGLI death benefit liable to whoever would have otherwise inherited the benefit. The effect of Hillman v. Maretta may extend beyond FEGLI benefits and into other federal benefit plans. As a result, it is important that you routinely review your estate plan, which encompasses the distribution of your entire estate and includes designation of beneficiaries. There are attorneys that understand that a comprehensive estate plan consists of more than just a Will and/or Trust and work with clients to review beneficiary designations.

The Importance of Updating Your Beneficiary Designations

after Hillman v. Maretta

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hopeful faces of young graduates and our newest military officers. I’ve mourned with grieving families searching for answers, and found grace in Charleston church. I’ve seen our scientists help a paralyzed man regain his sense of touch, and our wounded warriors walk again. I’ve seen our doctors and volunteers rebuild after earthquakes and stop pandemics in their tracks. I’ve seen the youngest of children remind us of our obligations to care for refugees, to work in peace, and above all to look out for each other.  That faith I placed all those years ago, not far from here, in the power of ordinary Americans to bring about change – that faith has been rewarded in ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined. I hope yours has, too. Some of you here tonight or watching at home were there with us in 2004, in 2008, in 2012 – and maybe you still can’t believe we pulled this whole thing off.  You’re not the only ones. Michelle – for the past twenty-five years, you’ve been not only my wife and mother of my children, but my best friend. You took on a role you didn’t ask for and made it your own with grace and grit and style and good humor. You made the White House a place that belongs to everybody. And a new generation sets its sights higher because it has you as a role model. You’ve made me proud. You’ve made the country proud.  Malia and Sasha, under the strangest of circumstances, you have become two amazing young women, smart and beautiful, but more importantly, kind and thoughtful and full of passion. You wore the burden of years in the spotlight so easily. Of all that I’ve done in my life, I’m most proud to be your dad.

To Joe Biden, the scrappy kid from Scranton who became Delaware’s

favorite son: you were the first choice I made as a nominee, and the best. Not just because you have been a great Vice President, but because in the bargain, I gained a brother. We love you and Jill like family, and your friendship has been one of the great joys of our life.  To my remarkable staff: For eight years – and for some of you, a whole lot more – I’ve drawn from your energy, and tried to reflect back what you displayed every day: heart, and character, and idealism. I’ve watched you grow up, get married, have kids, and start incredible new journeys of your own. Even when times got tough and frustrating, you never let Washington get the better of you. The only thing that makes me prouder than all the good we’ve done is the thought of all the remarkable things you’ll achieve from here.  And to all of you out there – every organizer who moved to an unfamiliar town and kind family who welcomed them in, every volunteer who knocked on doors, every young person who cast a ballot for the first time, every American who lived and breathed the hard work of change – you are the best supporters and organizers anyone could hope for, and I will forever be grateful. Because yes, you changed the world.  That’s why I leave this stage tonight even more optimistic about this country than I was when we started. Because I know our work has not only helped so many Americans; it has inspired so many Americans – especially so many young people out there – to believe you can make a difference; to hitch your wagon to something bigger than yourselves. This generation coming up – unselfish, altruistic, creative, patriotic – I’ve seen you in every corner of the country. You believe in a fair, just, inclusive America; you know that constant change has been America’s hallmark,

something not to fear but to embrace, and you are willing to carry this hard work of democracy forward. You’ll soon outnumber any of us, and I believe as a result that the future is in good hands.  My fellow Americans, it has been the honor of my life to serve you. I won’t stop; in fact, I will be right there with you, as a citizen, for all my days that remain. For now, whether you’re young or young at heart, I do have one final ask of you as your President – the same thing I asked when you took a chance on me eight years ago.  I am asking you to believe. Not in my ability to bring about change – but in yours.  I am asking you to hold fast to that faith written into our founding documents; that idea whispered by slaves and abolitionists; that spirit s u n g b y i m m i g r a n t s a n d homesteaders and those who marched for justice; that creed reaffirmed by those who planted flags from foreign battlefields to the surface of the moon; a creed at the core of every American whose story is not yet written:  Yes We Can.  Yes We Did.  Yes We Can.  Thank you. God bless you. And may God continue to bless the United States of America.” 

President Obama Farewell Speech...Cont'd

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA 

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urial is expensive. So expensive, in fact, that people routinely buy life insurance specifically

for the purpose of paying for it. Because Hampton Roads has such a strong military presence, we at the Hook Law Center often meet with Veterans. Relatively few, however, seem to know about all of the burial benefits available to them – and their spouses and dependents – through the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

Burial benefits available to Veterans and their families depend on whether the Veteran is to be buried in one of the Department of Veterans Affairs’ 134 national cemeteries or in a private cemetery. A Veteran who is buried in a national cemetery is entitled to opening and closing of the grave, perpetual care of the grave, a government headstone or marker, a bur ia l f lag , and a Pres ident ia l Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family. Cremated remains are buried or inurned in a national cemetery with the same honors. A Veteran’s spouse and dependents are eligible for burial in a national cemetery with the Veteran, as well, to include burial with the Veteran, perpetual care of the grave, and the individual’s name, date

o f b i r t h , a n d d a t e o f d e a t h i n s c r i b e d o n t h e V e t e r a n ’ s headstone, again at no cost to the family, even if the individual predeceased the Veteran. It is not possible to reserve a grave in a national cemetery in advance; therefore, after the Veteran or his spouse or dependent has died, the family can either contact a funeral home to assist them with making arrangements at the national cemetery (the family can always make pre-need arrangements with the funeral home, too), or contact the National Cemetery Scheduling Off ice at 1-866-900-6417 to schedule a burial. The family will need to present the Veteran’s discharge papers in order to do so.

A Veteran who is buried in a private cemetery is also entitled to a government headstone, marker, or medallion; a burial flag; and a Presidential Memorial Certificate, at no cost to the family; however, spouses and dependents are not eligible for benefits if buried in a private cemetery. Some eligible Veterans who are buried in a private cemetery may also be eligible for up to approximately

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$747 as a p lot- internment allowance.

Regardless of whether the Veteran and his spouse or dependents are buried in a national cemetery or a private cemetery, any funeral service held in the individual’s honor is at the family’s expense.

In addition to the foregoing benefits, some Veterans may also be eligible to receive a burial allowance from the VA. The amount of the allowance d e p e n d s o n w h e t h e r t h e Veteran’s death was service-related; if yes, the maximum is approximately $2,000.    If the Veteran’s death was not service-related, then the amount of the allowance depends on whether the Veteran was hospitalized by the VA at the time of death; if y e s , t h e m a x i m u m i s approximately $747; if no, the maximum is approximately $300. These figures are subject to an annual increase based on the Consumer Price Index for the preceding 12 months. To obtain this allowance, in the past, the Veteran’s family has generally needed to pay for the Veteran’s burial expenses up front, then submit documentation and VA Form 21-530, Application for Burial Allowance, to the VA for reimbursement. However, the VA has revised its regulations so that it may pay an eligible surviving spouse the maximum amount of the applicable benefit u p f r o n t , r a t h e r t h a n reimbursing them for actual costs incurred.

More information on these benefits and how to apply for them is available online at w w w . c e m . v a . g o v a n d www.benefits.va.gov. v

Little-Known Burial Benefits for Veterans by Jessica A. Hayes, Esq., Hook Law Center, P.C.

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President Obama Farewell Speech...Cont'd

are more effective and vigilant than ever. We’ve taken out tens of thousands of terrorists – including Osama bin Laden. The global coalition we’re leading against ISIL has taken out their leaders, and taken away about half their territory. ISIL will be destroyed, and no one who threatens America will ever be safe. To all who serve, it has been the honor of my lifetime to be your Commander-in-Chief.  But protecting our way of life requires more than our military. Democracy can buckle when we give in to fear. So just as we, as citizens, must remain vigilant against external aggression, we must guard against a weakening of the values that make us who we are. That’s why, for the past eight years, I’ve worked to put the fight against terrorism on a firm legal footing. That’s why we’ve ended torture, worked to close Gitmo, and reform our laws governing surveillance to protect privacy and civil liberties. That’s why I reject discrimination against Muslim Americans. That’s why we cannot withdraw from global fights – to expand democracy, and human rights, women’s rights, and LGBT rights – no matter how imperfect our efforts, no matter how expedient ignoring such values may s e e m . F o r t h e fi g h t a g a i n s t extremism and intolerance and sectarianism are of a piece with the fight against authoritarianism and nationalist aggression. If the scope of freedom and respect for the rule of law shrinks around the world, the likelihood of war within and between nations increases, and our own freedoms will eventually be threatened.  So let’s be vigilant, but not afraid. ISIL will try to kill innocent people. But they cannot defeat America unless we betray our Constitution and our principles in the fight. Rivals like Russia or China cannot

match our influence around the world – unless we give up what we stand for, and turn ourselves into just another big country that bullies smaller neighbors. Which brings me to my final point – our democracy is threatened whenever we take it for granted. All of us, regardless of party, should throw ourselves into the task of rebuilding our democratic institutions. When voting rates are some of the lowest among advanced democracies, we should make it easier, not harder, to vote. When trust in our institutions is low, we should reduce the corrosive influence of money in our politics, and insist on the principles of transparency and ethics in public service. When Congress is dysfunctional, we should draw our districts to encourage politicians to cater to common sense and not rigid extremes.  And all of this depends on our participation; on each of us accepting the responsibility of citizenship, regardless of which way the pendulum of power swings.  Our Constitution is a remarkable, beautiful gift. But it’s really just a piece of parchment. It has no power on its own. We, the people, give it power – with our participation, and the choices we make. Whether or not we stand up for our freedoms. Whether or not we respect and enforce the rule of law. America is no fragile thing. But the gains of our long journey to freedom are not assured.  In his own farewell address, George W a s h i n g t o n w r o t e t h a t s e l f -government is the underpinning of our safety, prosperity, and liberty, but “from different causes and from different quarters much pains will be taken…to weaken in your minds the conviction of this truth;” that we should preserve it with “jealous anxiety;” that we should reject “the first dawning of every attempt to alienate any portion of our country

from the rest or to enfeeble the sacred ties” that make us one.  We weaken those ties when we allow our political dialogue to become so corrosive that people of good character are turned off from public service; so coarse with rancor that Americans with whom we disagree are not just misguided, but somehow malevolent. We weaken those ties when we define some of us as more American than others; when we write off the whole system as inevitably corrupt, and blame the leaders we elect without examining our own role in electing them.  It falls to each of us to be those anxious, jealous guardians of our democracy; to embrace the joyous task we’ve been given to continually try to improve this great nation of ours. Because for all our outward differences, we all share the same proud title: Citizen.  Ult imate ly , that ’ s what our democracy demands. It needs you. Not just when there’s an election, not just when your own narrow interest is at stake, but over the full span of a lifetime. If you’re tired of arguing with strangers on the internet, try to talk with one in real life. If something needs fixing, lace up your shoes and do some organizing. If you’re disappointed by your elected officials, grab a clipboard, get some signatures, and run for office yourself. Show up. Dive in. Persevere. Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll lose. Presuming a reservoir of goodness in others can be a risk, and there will be times when the process disappoints you. But for those of us fortunate enough to have been a part of this work, to see it up close, let me tell you, it can energize and inspire. And more often than not, your faith in America – and in Americans – will be confirmed.  Mine sure has been. Over the course of these eight years, I’ve seen the

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FIRST COMES GRIEF

h, please tell me Lord, how I can go on? My soul has been

crushed into fine silt, sifting through the mangled pieces of my broken heart as it depart from me. What morsel of strength is leftinside this empty shell? How can life go on? How can I dream that I will ever feel, breathe, or smile again? Am I lost forever in this tunnel of angu ish , des t ined to wander aimlessly with no hope of escaping this wretched pain in my soul?"Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress; My eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief." ~Psalm 31:9

Then comes Hope ~Life is so full of wonder. Each spirit so unique. Into each and every heart springs joy, hope, faith, trust, and elation with events that happen throughout a lifetime.~

A wondrous birth. ~A child's wedding. ~A faithful love. ~ Anniversaries. ~ Grandchildren. ~

Different measures of each for different folks, based on our own individual circumstances. That's what makes us so unique.

What draws us together into a bond of "sameness" is that at some point, the strength of our hearts are tested with despair, grief and dark, painful agony. For no matter how our lives begin, or whose life happens to touch ours during a lifetime, at some point, every one of us will have to face a death of someone very dear to us.

Our souls cry out in pain when a loved one is wrenched from our life. Here one day. Gone the next. We

O sit with empty hearts and empty hands and tears wash down our face, shocked by the finality of it. Death is a part of life. No one is immune to the pain of losing a loved one. Whether it be a spouse, a mother or father, a brother, sister or friend, a neighbor, co-worker or an old faithful pet ... the void is there. The pain and shock are there. The anger. The despair.

We are left behind, struggling to find our way on this huge planet, once death has struck in our homes and in our hearts.

The mystery is complicated by the fact that the sun still comes up in the morning whether we want it to or not. The birds still sing. The clock still chimes at every hour on the hour. The pages of the calendar still flip by one by one, albeit maybe slower than before. But the old saying still holds true: "Life DOES go on."

How long will the pain last? That depends. How long wi l l you continue to love them? You will always love them and cherish their memories, so no, the pain will never completely go away. But it will fade in time to a tolerable level. One day peace will be restored to your soul.

The poems, essays and miscellany within these pages were written from the bottom of my heart, and from my spirit to yours. It's my prayer that they will bring hope to those who are in despair, courage to t h o s e f e e l i n g t h e i n t e n s e vulnerability that comes with grief and faith to those wandering without direction or purpose.

There is STILL meaning and purpose to your life. Joy WILL come again. May God bless you and bring you Peace.

Good Grief! There IS Life After Death © Ferna Lary Mills

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For white Americans, it means acknowledging that the effects of slavery and Jim Crow didn’t suddenly vanish in the ‘60s; that when minority groups voice discontent, they’re not just engaging in reverse racism or practicing political correctness; that when they wage peaceful protest, they’re not demanding special treatment, but the equal treatment our Founders promised.  For native-born Americans, it means reminding ourselves that the stereotypes about immigrants today were said, almost word for word, about the Irish, Italians, and Poles. America wasn’t weakened by the presence of these newcomers; they embraced this nation’s creed, and it was strengthened.  So regardless of the station we occupy; we have to try harder; to start with the premise that each of our fellow citizens loves this country just as much as we do; that they value hard work and family like we do; that their children are just as curious and hopeful and worthy of love as our own.  None of this is easy. For too many of us, it’s become safer to retreat into our own bubbles, whether in our neighborhoods or college campuses or places of worship or our social media feeds, surrounded by people who look like us and share the same political outlook a n d n e v e r c h a l l e n g e o u r assumptions. The rise of naked partisanship, increasing economic and regional stratification, the splintering of our media into a channel for every taste – all this makes this great sorting seem natural, even inevitable. And increasingly, we become so secure in our bubbles that we accept only information, whether true or not, that fits our opinions, instead of basing our opinions on the evidence that’s out there. 

This trend represents a third threat to our democracy. Politics is a battle of ideas; in the course of a healthy debate, we’ll prioritize different goals, and the different means of reaching them. But without some common baseline of facts; without a willingness to admit new information, and concede that your opponent is making a fair point, and that science and reason matter, we’ll keep talking past each other, making common ground and compromise impossible.  Isn’t that part of what makes politics so dispiriting? How can elected officials rage about deficits when we propose to spend money on preschool for kids, but not when w e ’ r e c u t t i n g t a x e s f o r corporations? How do we excuse ethical lapses in our own party, but pounce when the other party does the same thing? It’s not just dishonest, this selective sorting of the facts; it’s self-defeating. Because as my mother used to tell me, reality has a way of catching up with you.  Take the challenge of climate change. In just eight years, we’ve halved our dependence on foreign oil, doubled our renewable energy, and led the world to an agreement that has the promise to save this planet. But without bolder action, our children won’t have time to debate the existence of climate change; they’ll be busy dealing with its effects: environmental disasters, economic disruptions, and waves of climate refugees seeking sanctuary.  Now, we can and should argue about the best approach to the problem. But to simply deny the problem not only betrays future generations; it betrays the essential spirit of innovation and practical problem-solving that guided our Founders. 

 It ’s that spirit , born of the Enlightenment, that made us an economic powerhouse – the spirit that took flight at Kitty Hawk and Cape Canaveral; the spirit that that cures disease and put a computer in every pocket.  It’s that spirit – a faith in reason, and enterprise, and the primacy of right over might, that allowed us to resist the lure of fascism and t y r a n n y d u r i n g t h e G r e a t Depression, and build a post-World W a r I I o r d e r w i t h o t h e r democracies, an order based not just on military power or national affiliations but on principles – the rule of law, human rights, freedoms of religion, speech, assembly, and an independent press.  That order is now being challenged – first by violent fanatics who claim to speak for Islam; more recently by autocrats in foreign capitals who see free markets, open democracies, and civil society itself as a threat to their power. The peril each poses to our democracy is more far-reaching than a car bomb or a missile. It represents the fear of change; the fear of people who look or speak or pray differently; a contempt for the rule of law that holds leaders accountable; an intolerance of dissent and free thought; a belief that the sword or the gun or the bomb or propaganda machine is the ultimate arbiter of what’s true and what’s right.  Because of the extraordinary courage of our men and women in uniform, and the intelligence officers, law enforcement, and diplomats who support them, no foreign terrorist organization has successfully planned and executed an attack on our homeland these past eight years; and although Boston and Orlando remind us of how dangerous radicalization can be, our law enforcement agencies

President Obama Farewell Speech...Cont'd

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t is such an honor to be here t o n i g h t t o c e l e b r a t e o u r honorees! This all started when

I met the family whose loved one recently passed after battling cancer in 2014. It rocked me to my core because the young lady was my age and it really made me stop and do some self-reflection. When breast cancer awareness month came around, I wanted to honor the memory the legacy of that young lady and celebrate breast cancer survivors in my local community. So with my firm, TE Overton-Cooke Funeral, we hosted a photoshoot.

At the time, I didn’t expect the love and support received as a result of our efforts. The response was overwhelming and it made me realize that there is a need. It’s necessary to remind those who go through the fight that you are not alone, it’s necessary to remind survivors that you’re still beautiful, you’re still strong, you’re still feminine, but most importantly you are still here!

It is necessary to uplift and support the survivors that are right here in Suffolk because nobody truly knows or understands what you go through, yet you take it in stride. Most people don’t understand the struggles that come along with the diagnosis. Most don’t understand how to truly be supportive or how to be the support s y s t e m t h a t y o u n e e d w h i l e undergoing the treatments and yet you take it in stride and keep pressing on.

Once I began to recognize this, my goal went from holding a yearly photoshoot to doing something bigger and Suffolk Breast Cancer Society was born. In 2015 SBCS held the First Annual Survivors Honoree

I Gala. We honored 7 amazing women. We donated a portion of our proceeds Nobody Fights Alone! With Sentara Obici Axillary, Suffolk Relay for Life, and Susan G. Komen Tidewater.

Most of the 2015 honorees have become the 2016 gala committee m e m b e r s , a n d h a v e s h a r e d initiatives that we are excited about implementing in the very near future. So be on the lookout for some exciting things in 2017!

I am in true awe and amazement with what has transpired over the past couple of years. A photoshoot has blossomed into Suffolk Breast Cancer Society and the vision has expanded to support breast cancer and all cancer survivors by building self-esteem and morale, educating and bringing awareness, and raising funds to support those that are in the fight.

The community support has been incredible! Members of the community have nominated inspiring honorees that we are honored to celebrate tonight! And I have to be honest, the honorees have given me more than I could ever give them. They’ve taught me about overcoming obstacles, they’ve taught me how to not sweat the small stuff, they’ve taught me the importance of living no matter what’s thrown your way. And they’ve taught me grace. The honorees have been through more than most of us will ever know and yet when I see them, they always have a smile and always have a willingness to help.

So to my honorees, thank you! Thank you for allowing us to

celebrate you. You truly are our unsung heroes! A heartfelt thank you to the executive board of Suffolk Breast Cancer Society and to the committee members. Your hard work in organizing tonight’s event is sincerely appreciated. And to all the attendees, thank you so much for coming out tonight. Thank you for supporting the survivors in your lives. And thank you for supporting Suffolk Breast Cancer Society.” v

President Remarks Suffolk Breast Cancer Society 2nd Annual

Survivors Masquerade Gala 2016 Unsung Heroes

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expected us to do the same. But they knew that democracy does require a basic sense of solidarity – the idea that for all our outward differences, we are all in this together; that we rise or fall as one.  T h e r e h a v e b e e n m o m e n t s t h r o u g h o u t o u r h i s t o r y t h a t threatened to rupture that solidarity. The beginning of this century has been one of those times. A shrinking w o r l d , g r o w i n g i n e q u a l i t y ; demographic change and the specter of terrorism – these forces haven’t just tested our secur i ty and prosperity, but our democracy as well. And how we meet these challenges to our democracy will determine our ability to educate our kids, and create good jobs, and protect our homeland.  In other words, it will determine our future.  Our democracy won’t work without a sense that everyone has economic opportunity. Today, the economy is growing again; wages, incomes, home values, and ret irement accounts are rising again; poverty is falling again. The wealthy are paying a fairer share of taxes even as the stock market shatters records. The unemployment rate is near a ten-year low. The uninsured rate has never, ever been lower. Health care costs are rising at the slowest rate in fifty years. And if anyone can put together a plan that is demonstrably better than the improvements we’ve made to our health care system – that covers as many people at less cost – I will publicly support it.  That, after all, is why we serve – to make people’s lives better, not worse.  But for all the real progress we’ve made, we know it’s not enough. Our economy doesn’t work as well or grow as fast when a few prosper at the expense of a growing middle

class. But stark inequality is also corrosive to our democratic principles. While the top one percent has amassed a bigger share of wealth and income, too many families, in inner cities and rural counties, have been left behind – the laid-off factory worker; the waitress and health care worker who struggle to pay the bills – convinced that the game is fixed against them, that their government only serves the interests of the powerful – a recipe for more cynicism and polarization in our politics.  There are no quick fixes to this long-term trend. I agree that our trade should be fair and not just free. But the next wave of economic dislocation won’t come from overseas. It will come from the relentless pace of automation that makes many good, middle-class jobs obsolete.  And so we must forge a new social compact – to guarantee all our kids the education they need; to give workers the power to unionize for better wages; to update the social safety net to reflect the way we live now and make more reforms to the tax code so corporations and individuals who reap the most from the new economy don’t avoid their obligations to the country that’s made their success possible. We can argue about how to best achieve these goals. But we can’t be complacent about the goals themselves. For if we don’t create opportunity for all people, the disaffection and division that has stalled our progress will only sharpen in years to come.  There’s a second threat to our democracy – one as old as our nation itself. After my election, there was talk of a post-racial America. Such a vision, however well-intended, was never realistic. For race remains a potent and often divisive force in our society. I’ve lived long enough to know that race relations are better than they were ten, or twenty, or thirty years ago – you can see it not just in statistics, but in the attitudes of

young Americans across the political spectrum.  But we’re not where we need to be. All of us have more work to do. After all, if every economic issue is framed as a struggle between a hardworking white middle class and undeserving minorities, then workers of all shades will be left fighting for scraps while the wealthy withdraw further into their private enclaves. If we decline to i n v e s t i n t h e c h i l d r e n o f immigrants, just because they don’t look like us, we diminish the prospects of our own children – because those brown kids will represent a larger share of America’s workforce. And our economy doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game. Last year, incomes rose for all races, all age groups, for men and for women.  Going forward, we must uphold laws against discrimination – in hiring, in housing, in education and the criminal justice system. That’s what our Constitution and highest ideals require. But laws alone won’t be enough. Hearts must change. If our democracy is to work in this increasingly diverse nation, each one of us must try to heed the adv ice o f one o f the great characters in American fiction, Atticus Finch, who said “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”  For blacks and other minorities, it means tying our own struggles for justice to the challenges that a lot of people in this country face – the refugee, the immigrant, the rural poor, the transgender American, and also the middle-aged white man who from the outside may s e e m l i k e h e ’ s g o t a l l t h e advantages, but who’s seen his world upended by economic, cultural, and technological change.  

Renee' A. Battle, Founder

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imply put: Grief is the result of loss.

It can be from the loss of something as simple as losing your car keys, to something as devastating as losing a spouse or a child. Grief hits us all at one time or another, to some degree or another. None of us are immune.

Hurricane Katrina hit America, not just the Gulf coast. Many have lost beloved family and friends, many have lost jobs, many have lost homes and al l their earthly possessions. The rest of America grieves for those who have suffered s u c h a g r e a t l o s s i n t h i s catastrophe. We also grieve for our own lost sense of security, as we are reminded that our own lives could change in a moment, depending on the next catastrophe.

That being said, what can we do to move on from this? Whether you have been displaced by Hurricane Katrina, or whether you have lost a loved one, there is "Life After Loss". It may be a much different life, but it is your life, and well worth living.

For those whose homes and businesses were destroyed, as well as those of us who have lost loved ones, there's a rebuilding process required. God has a reason we are still walking around on this planet. So, we must put back together the pieces of our life so we can get on with living. (Note, I do not say anywhere that this is going to be an easy task.)

Your life before your loss consisted of.... what? Your life now consists of ... what? Compare those two for a moment (it won't take long!) and

S figure out what is left that remains the SAME. Now, realize that nothing you can do or say or build or dream will ever make your life exactly the same as it was before your loss. Nothing. But don't concentrate on what is lost. Concentrate on what is the same. If you've lost al l your earthly possessions, loved ones, jobs, and more, then you may think not much remains the same. But you still have a lot inside of you that is still the same, even if everything else around you has changed. What is inside of you that makes you unique? What makes you "YOU"? Concentrate on that.

Your home, your job, your loved ones, didn't make you "YOU". They may have complimented you, m o t i v a t e d y o u , l o v e d y o u , sustained you, or protected you, but they didn't make you "YOU". That being said, your task now is to take what remains of YOU and rebuild. You aren't rebuilding yourself, but rebuilding the world where you now reside.

If a picture is worth 1,000 words, let me paint a picture with this analogy. Anytime you build or repair an item, like a bicycle, car, model airplane, etc., the first thing y o u s h o u l d d o i s r e a d t h e directions.

R e b u i l d i n g y o u r l i f e i s a monumental task, but the process is the same. To build a new life for you (or for you and your family), you have to start with the pieces of what is left and go from there. So first, read the directions!

"What directions?" you ask.

The Bible is God's instruction manual for living. Spend some time reading His word and find the "direction" for your life. Spend some time in prayer and ask that He give you the strength, the wisdom, and the understanding to know what you should do, one step at a time. He has a process that works, if you follow it.

As important as reading the instruction manual, listen to His still, gentle voice for guidance. It's like having the Master Mechanic guiding you, step by step. You don't have to rebuild alone, and only He knows where all the pieces go if you want to truly build it right!

Now, as in every building project, you will find the infamous words: s o m e a s s e m b l y r e q u i r e d . Rebuilding your life is the same. No, not assembly of actual pieces or parts, but assembly. It's critical that you meet regularly with other Christians to share your grief, to assemble in groups to receive blessings to your spirit, to give you hope and strength. There is power in the Holy Spirit that can fill you only when you are assembled in n u m b e r s . F i n d a c h u r c h o r Christian group where you can worship regularly. There, you will find food for your soul.

Above all else, move! For some of you this may mean miles, for others, only inches. But move as close to Jesus as you possibly can. He promises to never leave you or forsake you, and by His strength alone will you find the strength and the courage to undertake this massive rebuilding process.

May God bless you and comfort you and give you Peace.

Some Assembly Required © Ferna Lary Mills

democracy, can form a more perfect union.  This is the great gift our Founders gave us. The freedom to chase our individual dreams through our sweat, toil, and imagination – and the imperative to strive together as well, to achieve a greater good.  For 240 years, our nation’s call to citizenship has given work and purpose to each new generation. It’s what led patriots to choose republic over tyranny, pioneers to trek west, slaves to brave that makeshift railroad to freedom. It’s what pulled immigrants and refugees across oceans and the Rio Grande, pushed women to reach for the ballot, powered workers to organize. It’s why GIs gave their lives at Omaha Beach and Iwo Jima; Iraq and Afghanistan – and why men and women from Selma to Stonewall were prepared to give theirs as well.  So that’s what we mean when we say America is exceptional. Not that our nation has been flawless from the start, but that we have shown the capacity to change, and make life better for those who follow.  Yes, our progress has been uneven. The work of democracy has always b e e n h a r d , c o n t e n t i o u s a n d sometimes bloody. For every two steps forward, it often feels we take one step back. But the long sweep of America has been defined by forward motion, a constant widening of our founding creed to embrace all, and not just some.  If I had told you eight years ago that America would reverse a great recession, reboot our auto industry, and unleash the longest stretch of job creation in our history…if I had told you that we would open up a new chapter with the Cuban people,

President Obama Farewell Speech shut down Iran’s nuclear weapons program without firing a shot, and take out the mastermind of 9/11…if I had told you that we would win marriage equality, and secure the right to health insurance for another 20 million of our fellow citizens – you might have said our sights were set a little too high.  But that’s what we did. That’s what you did. You were the change. You answered people’s hopes, and because of you, by almost every measure, America is a better, stronger place than it was when we started.  In ten days, the world will witness a hallmark of our democracy: the peaceful transfer of power from one freely-elected president to the next. I committed to President-Elect Trump that my administration would ensure the smoothest possible transition, just as President Bush did for me. Because it’s up to all of us to make sure our government can help us meet the many challenges we still face.  We have what we need to do so. After all, we remain the wealthiest, most powerful, and most respected nation on Earth. Our youth and drive, our d i v e r s i t y a n d o p e n n e s s , o u r boundless capacity for risk and reinvention mean that the future should be ours.  But that potential will be realized only if our democracy works. Only if our politics reflects the decency of the our people. Only if all of us, regardless of our party affiliation or particular interest, help restore the sense of common purpose that we so badly need right now.  That’s what I want to focus on tonight – the state of our democracy.  Understand, democracy does not require uniformity. Our founders quarreled and compromised, and

t’s good to be home. My fellow Americans, Michelle and I have been so touched by all the well-wishes we’ve

received over the past few weeks. But tonight it’s my turn to say thanks. Whether we’ve seen eye-to-eye or rarely agreed at all, my conversat ions with you, the American people – in living rooms and schools; at farms and on factory floors; at diners and on distant outposts – are what have kept me honest, kept me inspired, and kept me going. Every day, I learned from you. You made me a better President, and you made me a better man.  I first came to Chicago when I was in my early twenties, still trying to figure out who I was; still searching for a purpose to my life. It was in neighborhoods not far from here where I began working with church groups in the shadows of closed steel mills. It was on these streets where I witnessed the power of faith, and the quiet dignity of working people in the face of struggle and loss. This is where I learned that change only happens when ordinary people get involved, get engaged, and come together to demand it.  After eight years as your President, I still believe that. And it’s not just my belief. It’s the beating heart of our American idea – our bold experiment in self-government.  It’s the conviction that we are all created equal, endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights, among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  It’s the insistence that these rights, while self-evident, have never been self-executing; that We, the People, through the instrument of our

I”

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Christian Humor corner

Two brothers are terrible trouble makers. They are a lways breaking things , stealing things, lying, and making all kinds of general trouble. The parents have tried everything to get the boys to change, to no avail. Finally, out of options, they ask their pastor if he can help. He says he will talk to the boys, but only one at a time. The parents drop off the youngest and go home, promising to return to get him soon. The boy sits in a chair across from the pastor's desk and they just look at each other.

Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?"

The boy just sits there and doesn't answer.

The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?"

The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer.The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal to converse and practically shouts "Where is God?"

To the pastor's surprise, the little boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office.

The boy leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door and p a n t s , " W e ' r e i n B I G TROUBLE. God's missing and they think we did it!" 

Where is GOD?

A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.        The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"

 My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"          He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service." v

The army of the Lord

A well-worn one dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.        The twenty dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the county. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean."          "Wow!" said the one dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"         "So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"        The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church ...."        The twenty dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?" v

Money Goes To Church

To tickle your funny bone

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omen’s History Month had its origins as a national celebration in

1981 when Congress passed Pub. L. 97-28 which authorized and r e q u e s t e d t h e P r e s i d e n t t o proclaim the week beginning March 7, 1982 as “Women’s History Week." Throughout the n e x t f i v e y e a r s , C o n g r e s s c o n t i n u e d t o p a s s j o i n t resolutions designating a week in March as "Women’s History Week." In 1987 after being p e t i t i o n e d b y t h e N a t i o n a l W o m e n ’ s H i s t o r y P r o j e c t , Congress passed Pub. L. 100-9 which designated the month of March 1987 as “Women’s History Month." Between 1988 and 1994, C o n g r e s s p a s s e d a d d i t i o n a l r e s o l u t i o n s r e q u e s t i n g a n d authorizing the President to proclaim March of each year as Women’s History Month. Since 1995, Presidents Clinton, Bush and Obama have issued a series of annual proclamations designating the month of March as “Women’s History Month.”

National Women’s History Month 2017 Theme

“Honoring Trailblazing Women in Labor and Business”

The 2017 theme for National Women’s History Month honors women who have successfully challenged the role of women in both business and the paid labor

W force. Women have always worked, but often their work has been undervalued and unpaid.

The 2017 Honorees represent many diverse backgrounds and each made her mark in a different field. Additionally, the Honorees’ work and influence spans three centuries of America’s history. These women all successfully challenged the social and legal structures that have kept women’s l a b o r u n d e r a p p r e c i a t e d a n d underpaid.

Facing stark inequalities in the workplace (lower wages, poor working conditions, and limited opportunities), they fought to make the workplace a less hostile environment for women. They succeeded in expanding women’s participation in commerce and their power in the paid labor force.

As labor and business leaders and innovators they defied the social m o r e s o f t h e i r t i m e s b y demonstrating women’s ability to create organizations and establish their own businesses that paved the way for better working c o n d i t i o n s a n d w a g e s f o r themselves and other women.

They proved that women could succeed in every field. While each Honoree is extraordinary, each is also ordinary in her own way, proving that women business and labor leaders can and should be c o n s i d e r e d t h e n o r m . M o s t importantly, the 2017 Honorees paved the way for generations of women labor and business leaders to follow. v

A Fulfilling New Year’s Resolution: Retirement Planning

t ’ s 2 0 1 7 , a n d t h a t means you might be one more year closer to

retirement. Whether you’re at your very first job or wrapping up a successful career, there are always new things to learn about when it comes to saving for the future. So why not make retirement planning part of your New Year’s resolution!

Putting money in a high yield savings account (if you can find one) is always smart, but you can do even more. The U.S. Department of the Treasury now offers a retirement savings option called myRA. There’s no m i n i m u m t o o p e n t h e account, you can contribute what you can afford, and you can withdraw funds with ease. To learn more about myRA, visit www.myra.gov/.

Hopefully, your employer c h i p s i n a l i t t l e . A n e m p l o y e r - s p o n s o r e d retirement plan or 401(k) can be a useful way to set aside funds for retirement, especially if your employer offers matching funds on what you invest. If you don’t work for an employer that offers this type of plan, there are many other plans designed to help you save for retirement.

F r o m s o l o 4 0 1 ( k ) s t o traditional and Roth IRAs, there are programs designed to fit a multitude of budgets. The earlier you start to save, the more funds you’ll have ready for retirement.

And, as always, there is Social Security, which is funded by taxes you pay while you work. To get estimates of future b e n e f i t s a n d c h e c k y o u r earnings record for accuracy, you can create a my Social S e c u r i t y a c c o u n t a t

IDoug Walker, Deputy Commissioner, Communications

w w w . s o c i a l s e c u r i t y . g o v /myaccount.

Along with giving up bad habits, this New Year start a good habit that can make a lasting, positive change. v

Black History Month began as “Negro History Week,” which was created in 1926 by Carter G. Woodson, a noted African American historian, scholar, educator, and publisher. It became a month-long celebration in 1976. The month of February was chosen to coincide with the birthdays of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. However, February has much more than Douglass and Lincoln to show for its significance in black American history. For example:

February 23, 1868: W. E. B. DuBois, important civil rights leader and co-founder of the NAACP, was born.

February 3, 1870: The 15th Amendment was passed, granting blacks the right to vote.

February 25, 1870: The first black U.S. senator, Hiram R. Revels (1822-1901), took his oath of office.

February 12, 1909: The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was founded by a group of concerned black and white citizens in New York City.

February 1, 1960: In what would become a civil-rights movement milestone, a group of black Greensboro, N.C., college students began a sit-in at a segregated Woolworth's lunch counter.

February 21, 1965: Malcolm X, the militant leader who promoted Black Nationalism, was shot to death by three Black Muslims.

Black History Month the History…