GROUP 4REDUNDANCIES AND POSITIVE

LANGUAGE

Reader Focused Sentence:Subject=Actor Verb=ActionActor: a noun-a person, place, or a thing.

USING ACTORS AND ACTION VERBS

• Attempts were made by the engineering staff to complete the project.

The engineering staff attempted to complete the project.

• There is no alternative for us except to recall the faulty software.

We must recall the faulty software.

EXAMPLES OF ACTOR-ACTION SENTENCES

Redundancy occurs when you use:• doubled words• redundant modifiers Doubled Words: Two words that have the same meaning combined by “and”.

Redundant Modifiers: Words that imply other words in the sentence.

ELIMINATING REDUNDANCIES

• This important and significant network upgrade should help each and every employee to work more efficiently and effectively.

After the network upgrade all employees will improve their productivity.

EXAMPLE OF DOUBLE WORDS

• Fair and Equitable

• Assist and Help

• Hope and Trust

• End and Result

• Thought and Consideration

COMMON DOUBLE WORDS

• There are several scientists who are uneasy about the end results of the water quality tests.

Several scientists question the results of the water quality tests.

• The proposed budget cuts will not affect the final outcome of our current projects or our future plans for improving the street drainage.

The proposed budget cuts will not effect the outcome of our current projects

EXAMPLES OF REDUNDANT MODIFIERS

• Absolutely free• Continue on• Final outcome• True facts• Reduced down• Very unique

COMMON REDUNDANT MODIFIERS

Readers would rather be told what to do rather than what not to do.

The presence of several negative constructions in a sentence or paragraph slows the readers pace.

POSITIVE LANGUAGE

• Only ten percent of the students were not absent.

Ten percent of the students were present.

• Even though the plane was delayed because of thunderstorms, we were not late to the meeting.

We were on time to the meeting even though thunderstorms delayed the plane.

EXAMPLE OF POSITIVE LANGUAGE

Lead is a highly toxic metal that was used for many years in products found in and around our homes. Lead may cause a range of health effects, from behavioral problems and learning disabilities, to seizures and death. Children 6 years old and under are most at risk, because their bodies are growing quickly. Research suggests that the primary sources of lead exposure for most children are deteriorating lead-based paint, lead contaminated dust, and lead contaminated residential soil. EPA is playing a major role in addressing these residential lead hazards. In 1978, there were nearly three to four million children with elevated blood lead levels in the United States. In the 1990s, that number had dropped to 434,000 kids, and it continues to decline. While we still have a significant challenge, EPA is very proud of how federal, state, and private sector partners have coordinated efforts with the public to better protect our children. Since the 1980s, EPA and its federal partners have phased out lead in gasoline, reduced lead in drinking water, reduced lead in industrial air pollution, and banned or limited lead used in consumer products, including residential paint.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has reduced human interaction with lead. Lead is a toxic metal commonly used around households. Lead causes health defects such as; behavioral problems, learning disabilities, and sometimes seizures and death. Children 6 and younger are more likely to experience these health defects. Children are exposed to lead primarily from deteriorating lead-based paint, lead contaminated dust, and lead contaminated residential soil. Three to four million children had elevated lead blood levels in the U.S. in 1978, and in the 90’s the number dropped to 434,000 children. The EPA and its’ federal partners accomplished the following actions to reduce lead in America since the 1980’s:

• Phased out lead in gasoline• Reduced lead in drinking water• Reduced lead in industrial air pollution• Banned/limited lead use in consumer products, including

residential paint

The EPA is proud of how federal, state, and private sector partners have coordinated efforts with the public to reduce the use of lead.