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  • 8/12/2019 GSOC Sketch

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  • 8/12/2019 GSOC Sketch

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    INT. TV STUDIO

    Standard one-shot of newsreader addressing camera.

    NEWSREADERReturning now to those allegedallegations of alleged Garda

    malpractice, were joined by BobPeters, crime correspondent of theBig Shouty Tabloid.

    Brief MCU of BOB (mid-40s, smug of aspect) in guests seat.He has the point of a truncheon in his mouth, which hecasually removes. We cut between presenter and guest asappropriate.

    NEWSREADERBob, these allegations are quiteextraordinary, arent they? TheGarda Ombudsman claims...his

    telephone was bugged; his mobilephone was bugged; his dictaphonewas bugged; his xylophone wasbugged, he also claims to havefound a burly man in Garda uniformwrithing about on his floor in whathe described as [glances down atnotes] "a feeble attempt to imitateone of those hoovers with the faceson them". Has there been anyresponse from An Garda Sochna atthis stage?

    BOBYeah, Sen, I spoke to the GardaCommissioner this afternoon, and -they didnt do it. Wasnt them.

    NEWSREADERDid the Commissioner offer anyalternative explanation for thesealleged events?

    Bob is now wearing a Garda hi-vis jacket.

    BOBIt might have been rats, or foodpoisoning.

    NEWSREADERWhat might have been rats?

    Bob just puffs his cheeks out and shrugs his shouldersindifferently.

    (CONTINUED)

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    CONTINUED: 2.

    We cut back to the newsreader, in time to glimpse fourGarda (two kneeling, two standing) in animated whisperedconversation as they browse through the presenters scripts.They notice the cut (glancing to camera etc) and quicklyscurry out of frame. The newsreader spots them in hisperipheral vision, and reacts with consternation. Cut back

    to Bob, who now has a squad-car siren rotating on his headand is holding a mobile phone to his ear.

    BOB(staccato, evidently relayinghis words from the phone)

    Look Sen...the important thingis...that public confidence in AnGarda Sochna...as acredible...impartial...handsome...virilepolice force is not undermined [atthis point Bob presses a button,stuffs the phone in his mouth

    lengthways, and the words emerge ina tinny, officious country accent]by the paranoia of a man who buysCher singles off of a that iChoonplace and has an L-shaped flute andone bollick smaller than thother.

    Cut back to the presenters chair, now occupied by a Guardin full uniform.

    GARDAThanks now, Bob. And now over toour Dil correspondent Sergeant

    Bucko Jacobs, with a list ofpoliticians who might be...of aparticular persuasion.

    ENDS