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Happy Home

Introduction

No.1 problem:

Husband-Wife conflicts

Parents-Children conflicts

No.1 miracle Jesus performed was for a family

in a marriage party (Jn 2:11)

How to have a Happy Home —

Text: John 2:1-12

1. Presence of Jesus

Jesus was “invited” (v2)

His presence cannot be taken for granted.

We must “gather” in His Name ... Mt 18:20

Family Prayer — How?

Father — the leader

Time — Before Supper (+ Morning)

Pattern — Song, Reading (inductive questions),

Sharing, Reconciliation, Prayer, ...

Throw away liquor bottles, cigarette packs, pornographic

pictures, filthy novels, charms, objects of occultism, etc.

(Dt 23:14)

2. Pathway of Obedience

“Do whatever He says” (vv5-8)

Principles of the world x Prescriptions of the Word —

(1 Jn 2:16,17)

Parents today pump mere academic knowledge.

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— But Abraham (Gen 18:19)

— Paul’s parents (Acts 22:3; 26:4,5)

— Timothy’s Mom & Grandma (2 Tim 1:5; 3:15)

— My mother: strict with us to memorize Bible verses

Chats and conversations (Dt 6:6-9)

3. Philosophy of Elders

“Mother of Jesus” (v1)

(May be she was in her 50’s)

Listen to elders (Job 8:8-10)

Mary directed the servants (v5)

“Woman!” A respectful and endearing term

Mary learnt so much from the elderly couple,

Zecharias & Elizabeth (Lk 1:56,18)

Jesus learnt so much from Mary & Joseph

(He later loved the Church!)

There are many good traditions to be retained.

4. Party of God’s people

The disciples of Jesus were also there (v2)

The Church is a family of families— Gal 6:10/Eph 2:19

House groups, etc.

Do not keep your problem within yourself thinking

that it’s too peculiar.

Consult good, senior people/counsellors.

Read helpful books.

2 or 3 families in one locality can meet regularly for prayer

and sharing, just to improve the quality of their lives.

Heb 10:24 ... stir up good works ...

5. Patience for Solution

Jesus is the Perfect Answer but NOT the “instant” Answer!

“My hour has not yet come” (v4)

Problems & Sufferings meant to teach & train us.

Abraham’s impatience messed up the situation —

(Gen 16:1,2/21:9-11)

God’s delays are not denial, but meant for our development.

Jesus did not give the Living Water

to the woman of Samaria at once! (Jn 4:15,16)

Several divorces are because of impatience.

Healing and rehabilitation take time.

6. Positiveness of Expectation

Latter wine tastier (v10)

Cana = Land of Reeds ... weakness/fragility ...

Galilee — A despised place (Jn 7:52)

But this was the place of the first miracle of Jesus!

God desires to bless all families (Gen 1:27,28)

“Third day” (v1) — Day of Resurrection

Lk 24:21 After 2 days of

Hos 6:1,2 hopelessness & despair.

Promise to Nathanael of “Cana of Galilee” (Jn 21:2) —

Jn 1:50

Greater than these!

Forget the past!

7. Promotion of God’s Cause

“His glory” — the purpose of the miracle (v11)

Faith of the disciples deepened.

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The second sign also was for a family —

(Jn 4:53,54 — The result was the same)

Families are God’s agents to promote

His cause (Gen 12:3)

Each Christian family to bless the non-Christian

families (Lk 10:5)

Conclusion

6 waterpots (v6)“6” is the number of man,

according to Scripture Numerics (Gen 1:27,31)

i.e. The best of human efforts is useless without

a touch of Jesus.

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178

Family & the Lord’s Prayer

Introduction

The Lord’s Prayer is a Family Prayer!

Its 7 Requests are quite relevant to marriage.

“Our Father” ...

Not “my” Father...

All requests are in plural ... us ... our ...

a) Unequal yoke

As a believer, if you marry an unbeliever,

your father-in-law is the Devil!

Unequal yoke condemned —

“Come out ... I will be your Father!” (2 Cor 6:17,18)

Not casteism— Jew/Greek

IN CHRIST (or) WITHOUT CHRIST

(Gal 3:28)

b) Brother & Sister

i.e. Not strangers

“Tell My brothers ... Your Father ...” (Jn 20:17)

Jesus: Our Brother & Bridegroom

Apostles ... a believing wife (1 Cor 9:5)

“in Heaven”

Marriages are made in Heaven —

An acknowledgement.

A responsibility: To be maintained on earth.

Let’s study the 7 requests one by one —

1. Hallowed be Your Name!

i.e The purpose of marriage —

Glory of God’s Name!

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“Whether you eat or drink or whatever” (1 Cor 10:31)

(Kitchen)

i.e Work outside home and work inside home ...

even kitchen work.

United in purpose —

This is the key to marital success.

Other differences get subdued

when God’s glory is the primary thing.

2. Your Kingdom come!

Kingship/Lordship of Christ —

a) Husband — Head

Wife — Body

Body without head?

Head without body?

Both are meaningless.

“Head or Body” —

This does not speak of superiority or inferiority;

just God’s order! ... “mutual submission” (Eph 5:21)

b) Kingdom concerns

Extension of God’s Kingdom —

2-member team — complementing one another.

Not made-for-each-other;

but joined-together-for-God!

3. Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven!

Marriage at Cana —

“Whatever He says, do it” (Jn 2:5)

A wrong concept —

Rule 1: The boss is always right.

Rule 2: If the boss is wrong, refer to Rule No.1

Mutual consultation — Why two otherwise?

Allow the other person to take decisions,

and give freedom to make mistakes.

It’s a learning process —

No mistakes, no learning; then blunders!

An opportunity to learn, How not to do it!

Sarah addressed Abraham as “Lord!” (1 Pet 3:6)

but at one point God told him to listen to Sarah!

(Gen 21:12)

4. Give us this day our daily bread.

— Too much of tension over material needs

these days as both the spouses become career-oriented.

Who earns more?

Who has the say?

Solution: It’s God who gives us the bread (Dt 8:17,18).

Source vs. Means

Overanxiousness —

“daily” bread (not daily cake or pudding)

Do not overwork — Too busy to find time

for each other or for God.

Do not sacrifice family for money.

5. Forgive us as we forgive others.

Forgiveness: The secret of a successful marriage.

Even a “brother” — 70 x 7 (Mt 18:21,22)

If you cannot forgive your spouse,

how can you forgive a friend/fellow worker?

Forgiveness of our sins depends on

whether we forgive our spouse!

“as we forgive”

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Apologise freely.

Do not blameshift.

Be gracious to one another.

6. Lead us not into temptation.

Many temptations — but mainly, sexual.

Pray for one another/Help one another —

— Two lie together: spiritual warmth (Eccl 4:11)

— Enemy — overpowering — warfare (v12)

Mutual support.

Eve was given to Adam to support him in temptation:

(Gen 2:18)

7. Deliver us from evil.

“evil” ... the Evil one ... Satan

So many evil forces working against us to destroy

the marriage.

So many forces against our children also.

Protection by “red thread” (Josh 2:17,18)

Evil schemes of the Evil one.

Conclusion

The end of the Lord’s Prayer is worship —

“For Yours is the Kingdom and the Power

and the Glory forever. Amen!”

Let your marriage and family be solely dedicated

to the worship of the Almighty!

179

How to be a Good Daddy

Introduction

I call upon every father to study the Fatherhood

characteristics of GOD, who is the Perfect Pattern.

Mothers meetings are plenty;

but where are the Fathers meetings?

Three primary roles of a father —

1. The father is the PRIEST of the home.

Gen 18:17,19

(Before being a blessing to all families ... 12:3c)

God’s testimony about Abraham.

The Sunday School is not a substitute for teaching

at home.

Dt 6:6,7 ... commanded to teach the children

in the home situation.

vv4,5 — Personal life

vv6-9 — Family life

a) “When you sit” — Drawing room or Dining room

b) “When you walk” — Outings

c) “When you lie down and rise up”

— Night & Morning prayer

The Children must know who is the Author of the blessings

at home (vv10-12).

The father must lead the Family Prayer.

The children watch the devotional habits of parents.

eg) I follow my Dad’s method of sermon preparation.

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2. The father must be a FRIEND of the children.

The cry of the children:

“Where is Dad?”

Most of our children are “fatherless”

even though the father is alive!

Express your love —

a) By carrying the children

(Dt 1:31)

b) By playing with them and spending time with them

unhurriedly.

Jesus with His Father (Prov 8:22,23,30,31)

c) By teaching them practical lessons of lifetime value —

(Prov 1:8; Prov 4:1-4)

eg) Our dad, an Army Officer, used to tell us —

Do not keep used socks inside the shoes.

Mark the page number first on papers.

Wash feet before going to bed.

Value systems/Good traditions ... collapsing.

eg) Standing up before elders (Lev 19:32)

d) Listening with interest to their news, stories, narratives,

etc.

If the communication channel is so open,

they will not run to strangers for counsel.

Don’t become too busy to spend time with the family —

Balance:

3. The father is the primary DISCIPLER of the children.

Heb 12:9; 2 Sam 7:14

Give them freedom but hold the kite string & set limits

eg) TV

Be soft but firm.

Do not change yes or no to please them.

Obedience is not natural. Eli’s failure (1 Sam 3:13)

Differentiate between correction and criticism.

My daughter once said: “Daddy, enough for the day!”

Do not overcorrect: Eph 6:4

Appreciation must be more than correction.

Never shout at them in front of others,

especially their friends.

Caning upto the age of 12 is helpful (Prov 13:24);

but at some point (upper teenage), you may have to

let him go to learn things the hard way.

eg) The Prodigal Son ... his father let him go.

Be a model to the children.

They keep watching how you treat your wife.

A word to the children —

Eph 6:1-3 ... Obey your parents.

Even if you think they do not understand you fully —

eg) Jesus ... Lk 2:48-52

Make it your aim to bring credit to your parents —

The duty of a son towards his father

is to make others wonder,

What great deeds did the father do

to deserve such a son!

— From Thirukural, a Tamil sayingFAMILY WORK

GOD

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Support them when they are old.

Jesus on the Cross provided for His mother.

eg) Keralites, in general, treat their old parents

with a greater respect than the people of other

States in India. We witness among them the blessing

of longevity (Ex 20:12; Eph 6:2,3).

Conclusion

Seriousness of this message (Mal 4:5,6)

“Curse”

This is one of the ministries of the Holy Spirit

today at the end of the age (Lk 1:16,17).

(Study the Outline 189 also.)

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Read the book, “Jolly Family,” by Dr. Mrs. Lilian Stanley

Family Quotes

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. — John Bowring

Home is the seminary of all other institutions.

— E.M. Chapin

If Christ is in your house, your neighbours will soon

know it. — D.L. Moody

Our children need our presence more than our presents.

The most important thing a father can do for his children is

to love their mother. —Theodore M. Hesburgh

It is common sense to put the seal to the wax while it is soft.

— Arthur Jackson

The best way to beat the devil is to hit him over the head

with a cradle. — Billy Sunday

I learned more about Christianity from my mother than from

all the theologians of England. — John Wesley

A Christian should so live that he would not be afraid to sell

the family parrot to the town gossip.

The best test of a sanctified man is to ask his family

about him. — C.T. Studd

Marriage is more than finding the right person; it is being

the right person.

Before man had any other calling he was called to be a

husband. — Henry Smith

Don’t look around for a life partner; look up. Any other choice

than God’s will mean disaster.